deep into like

I got this image in my mind like a fabric stained with lies.
Of a time of truths that cried out before my blinded eyes.
As signs spoke with lines of actions n emotion I couldn't hide.
N feelings that climbed from within that was mine n since has died.
Turns out feelings the wine n dine inside is waiting on someone else to mind.
Patiently weavin a pattern of friends sliding deep into like that forms the drive.
Its kinda like as if I was ran over by the honesty in which I write.
As a ride forced my fight to spin round n notice an other in plain sight.
N my pride stepped aside as my smile shines n tightens realities strive.
Jus findin a moment to live n glide on the backside of my comforts of the one that applies.
To an openin to be filled n dive down within my shut down grind.
Movin on a new highway n traveling along side a new memory made by time.....

Isn't that the way it's suppose to work..

clear ur chest n ease ur mind

So I hear u have somethin to say.
I'm willing to listen to help u figure some shit out.
Lets play withholds n lay rest the games.
Lemme give truth to what falls out ya mouth.
Cuz I heard u from a distance repeating my name.
Come on now, lets face this n be bout it.
That is if u got the time to keep it as real as u claim!
Stand with me n knock.out all this bullshit.
Cuz a lil birdies been chirping in the same sense in which you've been talkin.
Behind backs n hidden from plain sight.
I hear you've been peeking at ya shadow that been stalkin.
Break wind n socialize with a mind that can keep u find yourself at night.
Cuz the chitter chatter of rattling teeth is annoyin.
Losing up n flow with the thoughts u spit out ya mouth.
Allowim me to give worth to the syllables u release that's so enjoyable.
Or I can put u on the spot n point out details u no nothin bout.
This is the moment of truth that'll end all gossip.
So sling ur vocals my way n understand what you've been doin is not ok.
Cuz I believe when it comes to reality, u fuckin lost it.
N it bout time I show u the meaning n purpose within the letters of my name.

its u i like

Lemme talk to u in a deep voice so soft it'll makeu melt .
Show u where I'm comin from so to can be felt.
Lemme have ur heart for me.
So u can eexperience that real luv isn't his a dream.
Lemme guide the emotions you've never used.
Dig into u find a friend in moments of loyalty n truth.
Lemme feel u crawl within soothing my very own beast.
So u know for a fact I'm for real at very least.
Gimme the one n only on thing I ask for.
Ur willingness to open up not jus behind closed doors.
Lemme touch u somewhere eyes can never see.
Allowin me to become who I truly am before u as I take the lead.
Jus follow intentions proven in actions that speak out loud.
So u will never second guess the words that taste so delightful comin from my mouth.
Drift with me to place we can ease back n find the comfort in one an other.
Doin what comes natural n become more than luv'rs.
Lemme earn that one thing that we all seek to enjoy.
With a lil time spent as reality is deployed.
Jus understand I'm jus me takin an interest in u.
N find it within u to do as u do.
Cuz I'm craving to put into play what's been on mind.
Head over heart as the only thing we have is time.
Lemme release compassion I hide from this worlds ways.
N enjoy u by my side as I'm here to stay.
I gotta lotta luv built up I haven't used in some time.
N jus so u know, it's u I like......

felt

Under covers. Close. Wrapped with a luv`r
Felt by touch. Snuggled. So fuckin flush.
Skin connects. Comfort. Livin the test.
Held n holdin on. Fallin. Passions core.
Bein felt. Accepted. Bodies on tilt.
Leanin In. Sinkin. Quietly feindin.
Emotionally game. Ready. Things have changed.
Next level layin . Wantin. Truth escapin.
Openin up. Cheesin. Needin so much.
In a,moment. Time. As still as kisses rollin.
Face to face. Flippin. Pulse pickin up pace.
Triggerin the crave. Intamacy. Under the night of day.
Fingers roam. Grip. Hormones explode.
Taste becomes pleasure. Magnificent. Finally together.
Showin interest. Play! Lifes finest.

normal

Normal...... to be self. Truly let yourself come alive n live. Not carin what an other thinks. Enjoyin ur time. Normal..... not bein like others or followin suit for they claim to be different by actin like someone else which makes them like everyone else which is abnormal. yet in this world its become normal in a way the term normal has lost its meanin of what it truly means to be self. As an individual. Normal..... when u have become u cuz in ur world everything is jus that, normal..... its not til u alter yourself for an others ways u become abnormal cuz ur not yourself. Normal.... has become a figure of speech that somehow understandin the logic in thought of what the actual word normal is. Normal...... jus be u n fuck everyone that doesnt understand or thinks ur weird. Cuz normal is weird for we r not all the same. That's what makes this world a great place. U never know who ur gonna meet thatll interest the other end of difference causin curiosities wonder. Normal...... sometimes it may appear ur crazy dysfucntinal. Yet in reality those who seem to be perfect havent found themself as of yet. Normal..... do u get it???

its jus me!

I dont have a prob bein myself. Im a realist. An athiest whos in luv with life. Shit is what it is. Make the most of it. Nothin will last forever. I know who I am. Im jus me. A rare breed n I dont try to beanythingless than what I feelor think. Not affraid of facin my truths. Can'tuz thats who I am. Im straight to the point. never gonna be perfect. Ions die jus like u will. I like me. N like is more important than luv. Inside n out I am what I am. A realist. Direct in a civil way. Showin character. Flat out jus bout it. If u know me on that level ur one of the few that can relate. I dont carry many with me. So know if I do fuck with u I see it in u. N if u flip script im out. Ive learned who I am. Always been this way. Yet ive come into my own even more here recently. Get at me n come with a friendship or step. Times to short to deal with immature b.s. is caled bein real. An understandin in my mind that wont allow me to fall subject. Been there once. N stood back upwith a smile that can never be broken. Life is at my fingertips. If u aint with it....... dueces!!! If u cant feel that u jus might not get the point. N u jus might need to dig a lil deper within yourself to grab a hold of the realization that life is tickin away. I wont miss u if urr half steppin. U come n u go. Im jis that type when my feet hit the ground u get what u get. Me! Its all ive ever known. The only way I know how to be. I dont wnna be different. Jus wish this world would wake up n witness how goofy it looks.... jus be!!!!! N be honest.

a man

Dig into the mind of a man whos felt his sanity snap n laughed bout it.
N youll find a man with reason that stands firm no matter the season.
Jus hearin a man on the otherside speak of reality in which u know will open u up.
Its in a mans eyes when u see him pause in a moment of truth vecomin clutch.
On another level starin down life with purpose for himself so an other can feel his reality.
Its where a man lives n will remain as his tongue doesn't taste lies nor feel humility.
For a man is correct in his actions that expresses his true intent standin in the middle of life.
Needin nothin from no one for he makes it happen n faces his mind.
Well above his heart he never thinks to long for a mans instinct is quick to draw a line.
Livin within his surroundings knowin hes got a grip n willbe fine.
Realizin b.s. before it appears a man will cut u lose before u get a chance torub him the wrong way.
So if u ever step to a real man n hes down with u, hes there to stay.
As long as u keep ur head n walk on the other side of what youve been taught.
Cuz he will leave u in a moment of no return if u slip up n stall.....

diggin someone

Its an interest on a level of diggin someone.
Findin them to be interestin n fun.
Gettin at life with with them side by side.
A friend like no other knowin ur tackin in consideration in ur mind.
Doin what they like as u like they come full circle.
Jus bout it to see u smile n jumpin hurdles.
A comfort level that settles the nerve.
Believin in actions n patient on words.
Knowin ones place in time to enjoy their presense.
So get at it n stand the test of time without hesitance....

touchy feelie

Sssh. Hush. Now close ur eyes n have a lil trust. Lay still. Jus for a moment. Jus ease back n enjoy fingers bein lent. Lemme feel u beneath my touch. The way I wanna explore u. How I crave to enjoy ur skin. Softly in a caress made of truth. Can u feel me? Playin with ur nerves. As ur emotions rise. Without ever speakin a word. Hold still. Try not to move. Jus relax under luv's presence. As I make find a way to bring to life ur groove. Sssh. Listen to yourself breathe as I feel u feelin me. Makin time last ever so slow with devotion. Dont peek. Cuz imma change directions. Can u feel me now. As low as ur navel. Headed south. As my kiss opens for the tongue thats able. Driftin further as sensitivity plays with ur hormones. Can u feel me. Buried in pleasures place. Now open ur eyes cuz this is not a dream......

im comin

Dont play games. Jus tell me the truth. Be as real as I am with u.
Be self for u r who u r. But dont change me. Im me n doin my part.
Yet tempt me. Give me reason of interest to come get u. Follow my lead.
Speak ur mind. Of all the things u want from me. Then in me youll find.
A gentle man ready to get at life. Jus willin to open up. As emotions will never hide.
Tell me now as honesty breathes. Cuz u have my attention. Imma ask jus once by sayin please.
Dont think im beggin. Jus know im real. N id like to know myself if its me ur playin.
Cuz im comin. N I want ur worth. All n the above with a lil sum somethin.

hidden conditions

Could u luv unconditionally if someone was wrong.
Or is it u to accept givin up n hearin the same fuckin song.
Cuz reality will show u, u r really alone in an end.
Bringin forth two begginings n an other foe that was once a friend.
One in which findin self again after time has ran out.
N the filth of hidden pain is spit from the mouth.
The other is a new face stairin u down in between space.
Wantin to walk as long as life allows one an other to enjoy a mate.
So when do u think workin shit out has come to steppin on the line.
Findin reason to simply accept we all fuck up on lifes ride.
Or is backin down easier as turnin round sux as u jus give the fuck up.
On what once was the greatest thing u ever felt as luv.
Is it when trust didnt prove itself in a moment of truth.
Makin u realize the brutal realization of honesty is cut loose.
Only a few of us rise to another other level n get ripped apart.
Privileged, yet that's lifes way of moldin the character that becomes chard.
Like the heart thats been let down so many times as we say were done.
Losin more than partner that gave up n now motionless on the run.
It all starts n will always be in the head that loses focus along the way.
As someone will feel abandoned n alone without a luv that can never be saved.
Communication, willingness n honesty is the foundation of relations.
N one t1me is all we get before emotions starts the excavation.
Know ur part n give as if u wanted to receive ur own luv given.
Or two true friends will wind up livin solo as worths r hidden conditions.

like ahhhhh

Don't over step ur boundaries.
Know place n space will close.
Like ahhhhh, if u can feel the presence.
Jus let the situations flow.
Stand stationary n move to the dance.
Take a chance n jus bob.
Deletions isn't shit without a friend.
Cuz emotions will.set a drift the chance.
Maintain in mind n claim ur own heart.
Control those feelings ready to explode.
Time is a virtue n all else is a set up for failure.
Tap in to self ease back n ride the ride slow........

a hole is taken

Stepped thru as a hole is taken by the chunk. For the heart to be left dangling to feel the chill of such.
Opened in a way this world sees the weakness within. As the face bares the pain that's left without a grin.
Touched then gone like the winds cool breeze. Try to stand strong of stayin off ones knees.
Trust given to be abused by a selfish friendly foe. Left inside out n aching from the cold.

Walking thru for reasons unknown that has no purpose. Jus questions replacing emotions that's twisted hurting.
Numb n replacing the pieces taken from luv's grip. Bitin off words never the less from the lips.
Backs turned where faces once stared in aww. As the truth of the heart is shown to all.

shes like a drug

She's like a drug that has no end to the pleasure a man seeks.
As he bows to her for more cuz he feels her in his veins that speak.
With a pound as if morris code tapping his hearts vibe that decodes his luv.
A high of all highs with simple contact that drapes him with the slightest of touch.
His calling has made home a fiend for the tender feel or her skin flush.
Restin upon him as he loses himself in the middle of a craving rush.
There is no cure for the heart that beats in her very own presence.
For she's the best thing yet the worst thing as he misplaced selfs defense.....

Yeah I felt it.... n walked away!!!

know

Jus in case u ever ready this blog...... know im tryin to walk away. Know I wanna do this with u. Know I'm at the tail end if somethin I don't want. Know I'm feelin u. Know ur friendship is the shit. Know for the sake of this ever goin anywhere, I don't wanna hurt u. N know as I swear with skin u to trust me. Imma show to feel luvd if given the chance. Jus know!!! N stand by me. I need someone like u.

unnecessary b.s.

It's how u feel bout ur own life.
Independent or relying on an other.
Either u r ur own.best friend or lost.
Dig deep n find who u r above all other.
Lessons learned will grow old.
Be there for the one who counts the most.
Hold the line enjoy ur time.
N you'll never be on the end of a roast.
As giggles n chuckles point n clown.
Round self out n be bout it.
As ur mind will find the understanding in life.
Seein thru all the unnecessary b.s.....

i write

I can feel it. Comin up from my depths. Steppin on the b.s. it climbs. Life has survived n I'm comin round to gathering up my best. Pickin up peices shattered along the way. On the inside where the hearts cliff measures what's left of the luv in my chest. Peace n pain twisting in a twirl tangled n tweakin as a spiralin intertwine rips thru what appeared to he a super hero bulletproof vest. Yeah, i... had a talk with cupid. N he told me he tried to miss the last time round. Yet the arrow found me driftin n useless. Kinda like I am now. Jus walking thru life unused n far from clueless. With a gift of purpose that comes from deep down I hid from this world under the armour. Cuz everytime it gets harder n harder cuz I get closer to what it is I'm seeking as I they destroyed givin to the seconds within minutes of the hours that own the day. Yet here I come climbing my backbone n adjusting the way I stand as a man. Shakin off where I've been jus get to goin where I am to be with a lil lady living inside of me. Yet I will choose the emotion when the times at hand for the pressure built up to be released from behind the mask of truth n emotion where devotion lives outside of behind the eyes that dream.... can ya feel me? Jus one as me as I live in reality where equality isn't arelations immortality. Jus two gettin it once I lift my head at the peek of the horizon settlin nerves in my mind. Til then, I write!!!!

worn down mutt

Resting behind whats unlocked with the door shut.
Lays an independent worn down mutt.
Off the chain n peeking out the windows.
Barkin at everyone's crawling shadows.
Guardin the one place left to hide.
Healin his wounds n running round with time.
Left with the emotion of two tales.
Eatin up the possibilities chasing tail.
On the inside listening n waiting he sits.
For one day to be set free from the bullshit.
Loose to find a home where his chow awaits.
Protectin the one thing that matters the most as his mate.
Yet hes as still as the night n hiding from bein caught.
Dreamin of the day to stand for his, at all costs.

religion

Religion..... lol... here's the way I see it. Its a dreampt up dream by a scared frail lil man afraid to die. A lil story made by man to comfort the fact we r not gonna know we're goin in a box n we will never know we r there. Funny. I'm ok with it. Guess that's y I am the way I am. Wakin to life! Cherishing my moment n keepin stride of what I need to do as a man so my luv'd ones know my loyalty. I stand in a different direction when it comes to knowing the value of a single breathe taken is precious. Doesn't make me less of a human. Jus a realist that treats others equal no matter their belief. I am alive n in luv with life!!!

reinvented aa man

I remember lookin in the mirror n my eyes went black.
I lost myself n it was I couldn't keep intact.
Its a maddenin effect u wouldn't understand.
When life rips ur world apart n u gotta reinvent u as a man.
Yeah I remember what it felt like when I finally stood back up. N now no one can tell my shit so shut the fuck up.
I dragged myself thru hell here on earth.
When I realized the bel...ief in a god is a curse.
The feeling I strangled released the life from within.
The twist tilted my head as I Began to grin.
I snapped n found sanity within the cracks of my own mind.
N that's a place no one has infected in my time.
I remember jus not giving a flying fuck.
N I'll be this way forever til my ashes become dust....

its never to late

It's never to late to sit still inside yourself.
N count on the only one that can be felt.
Its never to late to come from behind the eyes.
Showin yourself u know how to feel alive.
Its never to late to claim what u thought u lost.
Cuz if u wait til the end ur lost in the sauce.
Its never to late to connect the pieces in life.
U jus gotta find em n complete the puzzle in ur mind.
Its never to late to dig into the depths of ur honesty.
Cuz if u wait to long u jus might lose sight of reality.
Its never to late to stand up n be the u that u hide.
N put to rest what u think everyone wants u to be in ur mind.

cuz

How deep can u dig to know ur not like everyone else.
Cuz I've touched my jus to feel a hand that helps.
Can u turn inward n find the only piece of mind that comforts.
Cuz I found me searching for a friend that needs me more.
How more insane can u become before u realize ur worth.
Cuz I personally fell to the hands of my dream gurl.
Can u accept the fact that u r ur own best friend.
Cuz it's the only one that's completely honest til the end.

jus findin a moment

I got this image in my mind like a fabric stained with lies.
Of a time of truths that cried out before my blinded eyes.
As signs spoke with lines of actions n emotion I couldn't hide.
N feelings that climbed from within that was mine n since has died.
Turns out feelings the wine n dine inside is waiting on someone else to mind.
Patiently weavin a pattern of friends sliding deep into like that forms the drive.
Its kinda like as if I was ran over by the honesty in which I write.
As a ride forced my fight to spin round n notice an other in plain sight.
N my pride stepped aside as my smile shines n tightens realities strive.
Jus findin a moment to live n glide on the backside of my comforts of the one that applies.
To an openin to be filled n dive down within my shut down grind.
Movin on a new highway n traveling along side a new memory made by time.....

out ya mouth

So I hear u have somethin to say.
I'm willing to listen to help u figure some shit out.
Lets play withholds n lay rest the games.
Lemme give truth to what falls out ya mouth.
Cuz I heard u from a distance repeating my name....
Come on now, lets face this n be bout it.
That is if u got the time to keep it as real as u claim!
Stand with me n knock.out all this bullshit.
Cuz a lil birdies been chirping in the same sense in which you've been talkin.
Behind backs n hidden from plain sight.
I hear you've been peeking at ya shadow that been stalkin.
Break wind n socialize with a mind that can keep u find yourself at night.
Cuz the chitter chatter of rattling teeth is annoyin.
Losing up n flow with the thoughts u spit out ya mouth.
Allowim me to give worth to the syllables u release that's so enjoyable.
Or I can put u on the spot n point out details u no nothin bout.
This is the moment of truth that'll end all gossip.
So sling ur vocals my way n understand what you've been doin is not ok.
Cuz I believe when it comes to reality, u fuckin lost it.
N it bout time I show u the meaning n purpose within the letters of my name.

apart

At the bottom yet still fly.
Gotta get my shit together that's no lie.
Its cold n dark where I sleep.
Concrete walls n a heater at my feet.
I allowed my best friend to tear my world apart.
N there's nothin left for her in my heart.
Jus a thought that feeds the comfort.
As the passions tick needs some jumpers.
Here as down as I've ever been.
A woman ripped me apart with a devious grin.
One I thought had my back til the end of time.
As the emotions could never hide.
The pain from a touch so gentle to this man.
Its cuz of her I changed my stance.
No more feelings on this ride.
Its either friend or foe in my mind.
My heart don't wanna care for its spent its try.
A luv's been torn apart n has died.
Trust has become absent to say the least
N all that's left is a dog in heat.
Yet I will rise again soon to my own place.
N fill it with the dream of a lil lady dressed in lace.
Here under the radar hidden n ashamed.
I got beat at my very own game.
Guess I shoulda played along n used my wife as well.
Only if I woulda known it woulda turned out I'd live thru hell.
I coulda stayed on top n had all my possessions.
But I sit n wonder in a new direction.
Where to go n how to get there.
After somethin so real invaded how I cared.
Its one of those things where blinded by the thirst of a kiss.
Fills the room of a friend as were now apart, is dearly missed!

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undercover luv'r

Undercover luv'r. Fake with words that seem to touch that point of no return.
Pressin on emotions never to be used. Playin a game as someone will wind up bein hurt.
Time spend in a set of eyes that speak of a dream come true is eventually left seemed n flowin.
As the confused mind breaks down the reality n a friend they thought they had forgets the showin.
Cuz it was never two as one as patterns r seen as the head floats back to the surface of the heart.
Truths bob from the ripples that fade from the waves that suffocates the intention do their part.
N standing back up even as a man for we all know women can rebound a bit faster by not givin a fuck.
Life jus will never be the same after enjoying the presence of a cold hearted individual that kept shit on the hush....

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depths n lengths of scars

Attention is to be paid in life.
Chasin a dream will make u pick sides.
Losin all sense of normal sort of speak.
Change u into what u thought was need.
Bein self is a characteristics strength.
Knowin what's before self n concurrin what leak.
As a man or woman balance needs its place.
As one stands with real thoughts n emotion upon the face.
The grind alone is a struggle that tells a tale.
Somewhere shit got twisted n we have failed.
Listen to the vibration speaking a loud.
N u will never be the one falling from the clouds.
Many things make us who we r.
Earnin variations of different depths n lengths of scars.
Some r hard headed individuals that do for self.f
Yet in the end jus remember ur blood is ur only help!!!!

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splash

In a dip in the mind floating with the ripples caused by the vibrations stomp of life's choices one learns how to swim.
Smack dab in the middle of the lake over flowing with thoughts fighting the tide we all feel the undertows spin exhausting the limbs.
Its a bobbin effect that pushes with the winds of change in a different direction as a new shore is felt beneath the feet.
Yet it seems everyone jumps back in to backstroke under the sun n eventually comes to realize it's a 1600 meter defeat.

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jus let shit flow

Lets do this the right way. Cuz I felt a fairytale fun on my tongue.
N there it went as I stood madly in luv.
Lets keep this shit simple n be friends. Can u dig?
Cuz into u I'd swim if given the time to find the healed hearts rips.
Ease up in the depths, surface with reality n cum on back.
Don't fall to fast n what lasts will bring truth to the facts.
Stand n deliver self cuz losing an other isn't a gain worth saving.
I'm not superman! I'm not everything you've ever wanted. As there's somethin in me ur wanting.
I can hear it as u ask where have I been? Yet around I've been findin my way.
Shit changes n feelings fade fast n I'm jus here n u I can not save.
I'm jus me n I'm as human as u seem to pretend to be. Jus sayin.
Y do I always havta be so fucking perfect as an other fails relations falling from the claimin.
Think. Be. Live. N jus let shit flow n play in its time of use.
We don't know how long we have together so jus shut up n enjoy me as I do u.
Don't promise me tomorrow. Don't fake the silence that'll cum eventually.
Keep it real n jus try to express what it is I mean to u in ur reality.
Cuz I've heard it all before n believe me, words r cheap.
Sounds bad but the only thing I believe in is ur actions in time that will speak to me!!!!!!

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the drizzle effect that drips

Out drips the emotion smeared before the eyes as lil lettered of a lil lady gone bad is blaming a good man for the issues that tore a lifetime cut short apart cuz she jus can't handle life...... here comes the honest truth of how a woman can destroy a man's will as his character is put to the test as he fought for six months n is there for her in a way no one in this world has ever been nor will ever be jus to walk away from his wife..... here's the pit of depth showing its face in the mirror so he can finally release his pains deception that crawls thru his veins like a parasite takin his life away from his smile as he's been cut n bleeding out the luv that he desperately needs to flush from his heart..... here comes the end of a friendship three decades long that fell to no mercy as hands were deliberate in takin n abusing the reality of his loyalty as she was afraid to accept somethin real cuz she knows nothin bout luv that scares her even though he's let it be known everyday that he luv'd her from the start....... here's that twist in life that breaks a man down jus before he pieces himself back together n stands with a better understanding in his step as he walks the fuck away....... yeah this is that drizzle effect that clings to the sweet spot no one knows of that's so fucking tender it scares him to ever attempt to use emotion cuz all he's ever gonna feel is her n the loss that couldn't stay.......

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if u somehow can't

If u find yourself in the middle of the moment n u don't feel anything at all......... if somehow ur emotions don't work n ur tears won't fall.......... if u can't express the hearts desire to fight for who it is that ur locked in a stare with....... if the only thing u know is the empty canvas that covers the hearts bullshit..... know ur not in the right place.... jus walk away before ur heart finds that empty space!!!

G'bye freind

Thirty years has come to this?
After thirty years never again will I kiss ur lips.
Ur not jus a luv'r.
Ur a friend like no other.
Damn near my whole life I've been in luv with u.
N now it's come to.........
The pains empty emotion so lost inside.
Is this how I'm suppose to live within my mind?
Walking thru life knowing ur out there.
My heart will never heal this tear.
After a once in the lifetime we jus walk away!
Y do we admit there's to much to stay?
Without a doubt it's our hearts thats connected.
N life will soon begin to inspect it.
For sure we luv yet r kryptonite side by side.
Now we gotta step from his friendship with truths to hide.
There's the way we luv'd that is so rare.
N the completion we willingly shares.
Comes to mind as the heart still feel ur touch.
Yeah, we gotta walk away madly in luv!!!!!!! N that's what's sux!
Cuz we both know who owns our hearts joy.
This is for u n letting go of a friend left within I can only enjoy!
G'bye friend, for its a loss as ur like family.
Shit! I can't believe this is happening.........

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alone without that one

Feeling the way u move like the breeze in n out of my life.
Tryin to hold on to the luv as if a bull took me for a ride.
8 seconds it seemed to be n poof! U were gone again.
Leavin me at this point in my life as a full grown man.
Its funny how time gets away n people change before ur eyes.
Once madly in luv turns to confusion in the dark side of the mind.
Openin n closing a new chapter that's only part of ones story.
N as a memories face begins to fade as the heart heals from its injury.
Livin in the moment that made such a difference now gone.
Feelin lost without a friend like no other is losing the chorus to a favorite song.
Meanings change as feelings wind up redirected never to be the same.
For there's that one person that owns the heart of a fool in time tamed.
In the beginning all questions r answered by actions n whooos.
Yet as things play out n communication breaks down, were left without the clues.
Passion clouds the mind as vision can't see the truths blinded.
Jus caught up in an other fighting for another day that's timeless.
Words find a different tone in which they speak outta luv.
Its jus one of those things where someone else fits like a glove.
Comfortin the void n fulfilling the emptiness that's been since birth.
N knowing no one else will ever take their place is the worst.
Yet to walk alone as paths split n individuals separate to find their way.
We all live to find some kinda happiness in a new day.
Its never easy to lose that one person that gets u for they know u.
Cuz the vibe in the chest is afraid to allow an other to touch u know who.
Self! Is to be protected by all means cuz the one turned n walked away so easily.
Yet if promises r made, doom has already been processed n ur a slave.
Bound by reassurance when the know doesn't havta be said.
Ur jus setting yourself up for failure n alone you'll sleep in ur bed.

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the way a man stands after his mind snaps

Standing back up after bein torn apart by luv that tends to change the way a man leans into his future.
U know he becomes distant to emotions as he feels himself become virtacle with his stance ripped apart by a strange creature.
A man's character rearranges once his mind snaps outta chasing the heart that defeats the mind.
It's nothin but a test of will he faces in a moment of exploration that steels away his time.
Losin self n memories wasted jus to havta walk away n find a new groove in another way for what he's had jus isn't it.
Yet when all's said n done a real man can hang rest his head knowing he fought a fight n won battles but it was a war he wasn't intended to win.
Forcin the cause of his walk to step with purpose within himself cuz he's found reason in life.
Alive n livin with a mindset unlike anything he's ever known til that split second he felt his mind snap with thoughts flowin that r to never again hide.
Sprung free from the tongue cuz in a sense he jus doesn't give a fuck cuz he hasta stand for self.
Him against the world forms a boundary of earning trust n a freindship as he's scared shitless of the emotional torcher that he thought would help.....
Alone his feet follow each other away from a friend he will miss til his dying day for a hole is formed.
Yet a man of truth stands in reality knowing he's been burnt n destroyed by a woman's scorn....

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left of the devil

She stands left of the devil.
That's where her world is level.
She has a fire below that singes his plan.
Never to the right as his woman.
Yet as a plaything that steps in stride.
In plain view she doesn't hide.
At will as she pleases she comes n goes.
N she doesn't mind shedding her clothes.
She's his personal pick in choice.
For she makes his blood flow with her noise.
Maons that grind his forgotten passion.
In his world she forever lastin.
His for all time to enjoy any way fit.
For she down for his cause n the endless bullshit.
She knows her place n claims it well.
Irreplaceable she's under his spell.
Drivin the evil within him to a new horizon.
N she for him as him for her there's no denyin.....

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deep under the covers....

Jus waitin with the lights out, deep under the covers.
Gone from reality. I'm my zone without an other.
Eyes barricaded from the realization of my conscience.
Off somewhere for a bit climbing the walls of my minds fix.
Jus faded beneath the comfort beyond a witness to my surroundings.
In a distant world made for my smile to away from the thoughts that echo a pounding.
Jus long enough to find peace I laid myself to rest.
Subconsciously patient for the buzz to end my recess.
I don't wanna wake to the situation of a battle between the heart n mind.
Jus wanna enjoy a moment passed out hiding from time.
Yet the ticks r silent as I've fallen peacefully into a single spot.
Unaware of the seconds untwisted numbers of my alarm clock.
Its comin, but I don't know fir I'm elsewhere for a while.
Jus drifting along with the calm before that fuckin noise ends my trial....

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fight

When the pictures fall from the walls.
N keys don't turn locks that's been installed.
As life somehow changed course.
N there's a feeling of wanting more.
That's when the fight begins of proof.
Wantin that one things overwhelmin use.
Time will stand in the way.
Draggin out every single day.
If u fnd a fire within that will never die.
Its ok to luv unconditionally til he day u die.
For the purpose of a friends no matter what.
For a lots been done n relations have been cut.
So when on the other side of the door, know ur worth.
For it to open n heal what's been hurt.
No one can mend ur life for u.
Yet all speak of what u should do.
Listen n embrace a friendly jester.
But remember the hearts lonely fester.
Let truths be known under empty skies.
As ur words talk to the only star that can't hide.
Cuz when that moment rises of truth.
Ur actions will show the real individual inside of u.
Standin patiently holding on to the already made memories.
After it seems you've become distant enemies.
If luv lives within two as one as it is indeed real.
Fight with all u have as firm as steal.
Battlin the test n crossing the lines of wisdom.
Jus so u to can feel the souls freedom.
Touched in a way you've never felt.
For an other can't help the way ur heart melts.
Some will question if not all of what u do.
Jus remember one thing, live ur life for u.
For true luv never dies.
Lastin beyond a lifetime.

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Sadened happiness

Jus stop.
Don't do that.
Do u hear me?
Cuz it hurts so bad.

Jus please.
Ease up.
Step back.
Untangle my luv.

Step away.
See my pain.
Notice my expression.
When lookin at ur gain.

Quit.
Y me?
This is wrong.
Awakened from a dream.

Release me.
Let go.
Distance self.
On slow roll.

Two feet.
Without touch.
Lose me.
Turn from luv.

Fade.
Drift into selfishness.
Disapearin before the eyes.
Sadened happiness.

Don't reach.
Face speaks without truths.
Push.
Tears undoin use.

Twist me again.
Ring me dry.
Hang me out on a line.
In the breeze feeling life.

Quietly on hush.
Forget who I was.
Who I am standin.
As anger filters the rush.....

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untitled posts

Lets tap a beat in the mind n make the head bob to a rhythmic symphony that'll speak n break down words in a form of childish behavior playing as free as this world's forgotten to be......... claim that boom boom thumping ur vibe banging on ur headache til it sinks into ur memory of who u truly r in ur time before ethos life u leave.

I'm twisted as a misfit on the loose.
Head cocked with what appears to be an inner truce.
Truth be known there's a war inside my head.
N it's complications battle the thumpin bouncing with a backwards up fed.
Sick within the walls of the mind in front of society starin.
Yeah I'm different n idgaf cuz apart its me I've been tearin.
Makin room for the chaos' padded room as it dwells.
Tryin to lock a...way the pain into its own hidden cell.
Chained to me I can not escape the giggles chuckle.
For no fuckin reason as I've freed my insanities rubble.
Down deep as I dug, I found what scares even me.
N I can't shake how reality clings to me like a leash.
Goin so far outta range to a line I can not cross.
This is as real as it gets, n I am longer lost.
I found that babblin bastard at last that I hid.
Damn, this shit's like standing on the edge of a cliff.
Base jumping without a shoot as I know I am as one with self.
I am not like u nor anyone u may know in this life or the next as I'm not felt.
Gone n out there inside the rounded room in which my thoughts linger.
As I look at u steadily pointing ur fuckin finger.
I'm free to be me as I release what u wish u could say.
With a half grin laughing cuz I feel what this world made.
N it stands before u untamed n raw as a real as the air u breathe.
Jus try to find ur own n you'll understand the feeling as u rise from ur knees.

 

 

There's nothin like a daughters smile.
N how it's stretches a daddies heart a mile.
A man is not a man without his babii gurl.
Cuz.it's her alone that's changes his world.
The day she's.born he becomes someone else.
Cuz in his very own.chest his angel is felt
There's nothin he won't do to make sure she is happy.
She is that drive inside thats never lacking.
That comfort of always having. A lil lad...y that will luv if regardless.
Never to leave the daddy's Is to become heartless.
For she shows him how he is to feel with a simple lil stare.
As demotion roll n he crumbles cuz for her he cares.
Its his babii gurl n no one will ever compare to her purpose.
The one lil lady if anything would happen to her it
be curtains.
A daddies gurl is someone who owns his undying luv.
Snuggled up with a scary movie as the boogeyman r hushed.
Daddies there to protect his gurl against all odds.
From young to a lil lady she's his sweet spot.
Luv does not truly exist within a man if he's not a daddy of a lil gurls everything.
For how he treats females is how he wants his babii's heart to sing.
He stands for her worth as she looks at life through his eyes.
As he does hers becoming more than his own worth in his life.
Its an irreplaceable luv that fills a daddy whole.
For its her n her alone that's stole his heart, truth be known.

 

If ur in the middle of a situation n feel lost on what u should do. Stop! Visualize yourself outside of the chaos as someone else. Put emotions aside n ask yourself one question.... what would u say to another as honest as u can speak it to do? Then slide back into yourself n make it happen.......

 

 

If u gotta prove ur better off without someone to make them jealous, ur nit done luv'n them. For if ur gettin satisfaction outta hurting an other the way they hurt u. Ur still in th Enid of b.s. u jus been thru. Don't rub life in cuz if u do all ur doin is proving u haven't let go as of yet. Stand on ur own n jus let shit be n go for urs. Who cares if anyone notices. They don't walk in ur shoes or... do what u Di ti get out n get at it so u can get urs. They dont matter. So if u by chance enjoy sayin hah! Or act as if I can do better, ur no better than the way the treated u. Show some character n allow life ti play out n kill no matter who with respect, even if they don't deserve it. It'll only make u felt better ur the one that acted lie a human being!!! Peep....... u don't need no one to live ur life. Only u can do it. So y waste the energy on those who r not down to get at it with u? Don't give in cuz u only fail yourself. Be about it. Have purpose n know ur worth. Jus be...

 

 

 

jus one

We're grown ass mutha fuckin men.
Silently waitin on that one to release the truths within.
Cuz what u don't know is one time is all it takes.
N if luv falls short, self has been made.
Unlike the unique style of the female gender.
Where luv can n always will mend her.
We as gents truly only give once in a lifetime.
Gettin at it in an honest pure state mind.
For someones touch like no other.
For anyone else is n always be jus a luv'r.
Its a thin line like a woman can freak a luv or fuckin hate.
A way a man stands is in the curve of her taming face.
One woman owns a fellas heart.
Til the end of the canvas drippin n falling from art.
If luv fails within the middle of time.
Before life ends its the dog that shines.
Motion creates lies hidden from a new gurl.
Cuz in his mind there's so many in this world.
Yet in that corner of his thoughts theirs only one.
N if she gets him, it's most definitely a wrap.
Either way the saloon doors swing of good or bad.
He's a gonner n will never admit it to anyone.
It's the secret to man's luv, truth be known.
For he stands differently for that one lil lady.
She's what drives him insane for he can't get enough of what he likes.
No matter how hard times get he is to stand by his chicks side.
Til the test of time stops the thumping in his chest.
In his moment of fading, gettin his best.

Yeah. Ilu1!

as a friend first

Put it on me as a friend first or watch me walk into the future without u.
Realize what u have as I do or try ur best to try n n catch me stepping with truths.
Chose n decide as u make up ur mind in my worth to ur undying luv.
Here that moment of push come to shove where the tables filled with vibrators truths.
Whatcha gonna do with me if u had a chance to show yourself before its to late?
Its in the way of realism facing u down before this leads to emotions draped.
Come with it n stand as strong as I yet bend only for the better of everlasting relations.
Cuz there's one thing in mind I can't stand is for an other to camouflage a chamileons representation.
Jus be n be good at it as confidence isn't arrogant with a cocky smile.
Make time spent mean more than with an other as memories become worth while.
Its how u interpret the connection that'll show in ur actions to eyes peeking in.
N it tells on all as long as the witness can gather thoughts unclogged by feelins.
Can u feel where a future individual willing tobluv only u is comin from?
If so, bring it on home sort of speak, for u n I to.e ist.side by side til life is done.

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oh shit, here it comes

U know what it is. Life!
U don't deserve to be my wife.
Yeah, u were my fix
U were yesterday, what's been missed.
Fuck this world.
Cuz ur in it wantin to be my gurl.
Hand in hand, back to back.
Side by side, it was never what we had.
Its what we could never have together.
Clownin on me n i was forever?
Cuz u didnt understand the plot.
Our luv ended n had ti be stopped.
Oh shit, here it comes.
Once again, always as one.
Its me alone bringin life to luv.
Showin purpose of touch.
Here comes the emotions suppressed.
Waitin for moments in recess.
No one can break what's real.
Nor take away what isnt felt as u cant feel.
So who gives a fuckin anyways.
Its my life as I will never break.
Rippin loose words that don't hesitate.
Facts remain it is not fate.
Envied by those who see us.
It wasn't what we had since our crush.
Its a life in the makin.
Thru hard times u err fskin.
Its obvious we weren't meant to last.
Surrounded by others that bash.
So go ahead n lie with loose lips.
We know what it is.
N Imma release all the things unsaid.
Cuz it was never best freinds at the end of the day laying in bed.
U n I standing where we belong.
Separated in lifes undyin wronged.
Swayin in the test here we r.
Playin n finding each others truths in a world where it's so hard.
Im earnin n respecting the will to survive.
N it's the facts u disguise I will never hide.
In front of eyes watching how we work.
Dysfuctional n deliberately bein heard.
Not caring cuz a patterns been made.
Unwillin to all the fuckin away.
So tell this world as I will the same.
Its fuck u butchie, cuz fuck u mandy till our dyin day.
U could never show purpose of truths.
Puttin US to use.
Stronger without ur weight a void never stands a chance.
In our moment I shoulda never given u a second glance.
As smile climbs the facial expressions.
Knowin one an others honest intentions.
N did I forget to say?
1! Im gonna be o fuckin k.
Luv has no place in our hearts.
Facin US as blame has no part.
Damn, here's to Mandy n Butchie!
Livin with actions that expired our own lil dream.

"u were never a freind"

Stranded under chains hooked to the hearts unguided touch becomin a void as the tongue tastes the grit.
In a place self rectifies the testimony of facts as moans r heard by walls breaking down the consciousness' spit.
Careless actions behaving dangerously with a form as tender as trust giving for its appears as real as generousity.
Jus tryin to find a home within a groove let loose from the depth wanting to be luv'd that's for the birds curiosity.
New faces of change sunk n sinking as time spins pain around pointing the tip of a solo finger.
There's a battle that Lys snapping necks that stomps emotions between mate's as offendin genders.
After feelin a way beneath the benefits clashing realizing worth is at its forever dyin end.
Fair is a misused word not used by such wisdom sprung free finding a true unconditional friend.
Losin again seems to settle a pattern cutting less deeper as feelins don't seep n not shown as often.
Numb on rebounds for self has become a welcoming mat to a chosen few anymore as there's no such thing as softened.
Eyebrows raise witnessin the SOS seen as seeking another like no other finds there way into the tissue of the heart.
Beginnin a relation bound to finish off the gestures that fail at the tail end of a fresh start.
Funny how the redirection gives hope under blues skies that fall into the darkest of nights playing out a story of ones life.
Slowly creeping with a new creation of selflessness sellin out for luv's undyin want that never once held the hand of remaining alive.
Dips of ups n downs n thru the storms drops of tears trade the greatest for the empty loss that delivers another blow.
Whisperin only if a situation can be what it is without the issues of war raging losing someone from comforts growth.
Directions taken changes stares n statements released as what's revealed in the long run as "u were never a freind".
As two paths crossed somehow cling briefly for a moment to momentarily give light of the vulnerabilities volume n tone that vents.
A couple of individuals off on they're own drifting away from the pleasure misplaced that discourages the claims fight.
Reminiscin on it had all the signs offered that differed from the last time poking at the memory outta sight.........

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the climb from within

It really ain't shit but a couple shits n a shot of a few thinkin giggles.
But you'll never know that unless u felt the break explode within leaving u on a moment to wiggle.
Like snap splinterin with a cracklin pop pokin the will to give bleedin from inside out.
Laughin cuz walkin away is self findin a sense of stability within the minds understandin of now's wow.....
Ticklin words touching the ticklish nerves under the tongues half grin slicing passions tender touch.
Chirpie sounds loose enough to separate with distance within from the walls climbed hanging from the minds ceilin within sight.
Released from the chains sunk into the heart with a simple lil chuckle on a high.
Running wild showing character of truth expressed freely in times wink.
Down n off the fuckin chain gettin with the pre to the posts of moments made for memories to sink.
It's a freakish feeling opening to selfs wits firing off at this world's goofiness.
As alone one stands reinvented enjoyin the idiots whines of choices left with emptiness.
Its a dis-attachment away from the backside of the face placing toothpicks in the corners of the mouth.
Raised to show the realises lingering behind a smiles idgaf attitude that speaks without a sound.
Out there n drifting thru life careless as together can stand never to repeat the same moment twice.
N I gotta say after all's been blown.outta proportion it's so fuckin nice.
Losin ur mind round the shape without a jagged edge to climb to the peeks falling lean of balance toein the drop.
It's jus one one those things where completion connects to the worth livin as a human that mean more than a lot.
Tweakin beneath trustin the friend that looks after twisted motion that make perfect sense within intentions.
N did I fail to mention????? He he, I'm more than words spread before eyes that has only one dimension.

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hmm. hmmm

Palms read n bein felt like nipples made of braille.
Somehow it seems no matter how hard I try I'm set to fail.
A directional elevator goin to its peek of lost in luv.
Pent house dreamin n tryin to figure the loss of the rush.
Damn is the only four letter word that racks my nerves.
Repeated as filths flaws released as unwanted hatred heard.
Its always on the outside lookin in on relations when clearity arrives.
As on the same side slidin behind the eyes as they awaken in a different time.
Only if it was as simple as becoming one heart beat.
Gettin at it without missing a thump that flutteres in a wink.
How can one hold the grip slipping under pressure.
For the luv found is life's rarest treasure.

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Back to luv'n u now that the chaos has stopped.
I had to dig deep down in the man within to come out on top.
U were not worth losing in this lifetime before it ended.
So now it's us again riding out the back end of the storms mend.
Best friends finding a stronger friendship makin a stand.
How we made it is a mystery of luv's will thatbhas a plan.

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Am I not worth the luv I give to u?
Cuz if I'm not leave me gone.
U see I die for u everyday.
With what's left of u Damn near done.
I've already begun to pick up the pieces.
Jus know life isn't the same without u.

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I'm calling on u

Call on me! Make me the one u can count on.
Watch me be there everytime. Wherever u r goin.
Tell me who u r. N witness ur pain fade into me.
I jus wanna be that one. Fall into me like a dream.
I'm game n up for ur shit. Lastin through the pain.
I have what it takes luv. Standin with u in the rain.
No matter what notice actions speak. I'm here for u.
I refuse to ever tell u no. Put me to use as I do truths.
Drown yourself in a river of luv. Allow me to save u to be.
I'm calling on u. Stand n deliver as on me u lean.
I'll cry with u to feel ur life. Be one one with me here n now.
I'm willing to out in the work. Cuz I feel u n don't know how.
Lay in silence n feel the comfort. It'll speak without words.
As still as the night. Cling to ur one for ur that one I could never hurt.........

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reaching emotions

Reaching from the throat to grab words grasping the understanding maintaining the best way in expressions put on mute so the sound of the heart can not be heard in the sake of makin time stretch a few more moments that seems worth the fight of luv surviving the Bettie tryin to win the war as self in erupting deep within the cores vengeance after bein put through literal hell.....
Emotions strangled so ears won't have a chance to listen to the changing tone escaping the mouths verbal assault fighting back for the understanding of the confusion forces upon a luv so pure time couldn't destroy the feeling of one as two have been ripped part by a single individuals selfishness playing games cuz they didn't realize the passion flowing in the depths of wedding bells.......

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is it to late?

Is it to late? Is a apology worth speaking a sensitive sympathetic expression released from the hearts pain?
Can emotions be repaired? Is walking away make more sense when the mind knows no one else will ever due in a time where she's the only one you've ever cared? Where does picking the pieces up when nit every chip from a shattered luv will ever be found? If not, what's the outcome of walking the other way n keeping the voice muted from sound? Why is it one of the two can't seem to realize what they have before them when given the opportunity to own an other? Put out on the doorstep as if moments shared meant nothin in the middle of a night opening up beyond the makin of luv'rs!

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home is jus a word.

I'm 37 yrs in n don't even know my way back to the only place I called home.
Found it once n i swear, for the life of me I don't know what I've done.
Its a misplaced feeling once the hands time slips past confusin facts.
Cuz all that was ever wanted is to know if I could make her smile last.
Guess the answers of the heart came calling before promises were kept.
It was simple honesty n truth that fell short as I was in the smoke with my best.
I never had her the way she owned me in our time together shared so sweet.
I thought I swept her but found out it was I that had gotten knocked from my feet.
Treated so raw as I stood in the mirror wondering it doesn't feel like home n more.
A man shouldn't havta be abused the way I have n give his all from his core.
Reality set in n sat with frustration til the bomb was ignited.
Boom! There went everything I fought for as I couldn't fight it.
I lost my home n was replaces so fuckin quick as if I didn't matter.
It was the only pace in which felt as I do belonged listening to.her chatter.
Loyal til the end til I euploaded n released what was in the chest playing out in the mind.
After all I've done I was left without the one I considered mine.
Home is jus a word that doesn't exist in eyes strain from a distance.
Yet after all is said n done its the only place I cling to in my heart as I miss it......

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I've died somewhere inside

In my time I've died somewhere inside while still alive.
Felt the completion of luv run through my depths of mine.
In my time I given to the point where I subdued.
Showin interest in a way to say I have nothin to lose.
In my time I awakened as a man in an others eyes.
N fell short cuz my one couldn't face me due to her lies.
In my time I was everything back when it all began.
On the road dot a life time n yet alone I stand.
In my time I've felt the gift to the pain n enjoyed both.
Had the one I wanted n was forced to give up all hope.
In my time I seen me in a set if eyes that sen me for me.
Jus to witness my passion give up on a longing dream.
In my time I was there as a friend like no other for someone special.
Gettin at life n noticed I couldn't was pulling on her demons tale.
In my time the power of us was the greatest moments made.
Jus to find out all along that Butchie by Mandy was played!
In my time I thought I had expressed myself deep enough to make it.
But she wanted a lifestyle I'd never fit into so she hated.
In my time it was us til the very end with ashes mixed forever.
Now I sit back realize there was no excuse for y we shouldn't be together.
In my time I fought n tried in actions to see a smile rise.
As the twist of life came along n I've died somewhere inside.

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I'm about it girl

Ur not allowed to make me feel less than my worth any longer.
I know my place in luv when I share my my own as its able to grow stronger.
Jus cuz u couldn't handle a reality that stared u down is on u.
I'm about it girl, step to the plate n dig in to life's chance of use.
All those around me sees what u took for granted for some time.
Here come the moment of knowing who I am as a real man.
Walkin away from the existence of what I thought was us as I stand.
Its funny how u did the beat thing I ever was given a lil while to touch.
U jus don't understand what u had deep within my passions luv.
Now ruined beyond repair Mandy n Butchie walks in to different lives again.
Climbing from the depths of emotions that crushed all at the same time of gain.
Toodles one as I retract the name given to the one that doesn't deserve the label.
Its back to me to be the one who got away n I stroll in a fade stable.
Who woulda known u coulda been so heartless to tear me apart on purpose.
N I'd grin n bare it so I can step on my own never to return for ur heartless.
On good in form of a lesson that molded my friend within never be second best.
Yeah, u didn't but I've passed every single individual particular one of ur tests.
U suck as a human bein for what u did to me the way u did y u did what u did to me.
We had it n u failed to face realities plate of gods will giving a chance to live free.

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out she flows. jus a few diddles left behind her lies. deep beneath her eyes that seen me cry. hidden why's in her actions played there own part. seen from the start I went n allowed her to.break my heart. its an art of maturity on a level to complete selfs worth. listening to the games knowing the truths hurrying the hurt. as chuckles covered in dirt lays to waste a luv so pure. I found my cure after company Yeats jus to let her go for sure. n the fortitude I out myself through is jus my way of walking away. I can never stay nor will I repeat my words of ilu day to day. something never again I will ever say to someone so right n yet so wrong. so may songs express my true feelings all along. goodbye 1, ur the one I longed to hold u n I got my chance to know why. as I no longer try to chase an individual in which I did liked.....

Goodbye 1!

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i fell n life somehow stalled

Walking with a bruised daydream beaten n abandoned.
Twitchin a nerve mid sleep from where the bodies left landin.
Pulled from a night's drifting jerk n thrown straight into a nightmare.
Eyes roll with the sweat pouring in a flow, showing emotions r scared.
Switching it up half way awake it was never a dream at all.
Somewhere living in a fantasy I fell n life somehow stalled.
Breakin the habit n on to the next level outside la la lands delusions.
Now in a mature attempt to find a state of mind where reality fights the intrusion.
Jus to slide under sleeps blanket again with a true piece of mind.
Where games have no place in my personal worlds untold time.
In a outta sleep no longer in wonder of fading off nor waking to the bullshit.
Lights on or knocked out I'm relaxed n restin my head to awaken in the same passion in which I kiss......

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Opened n ready I've become somethin I don't understand.
As real as expression pouring from my face as a man.
Broken I given myself n got lost in the mix to see her eyes.
Stares remain yet the pain consumes the frightening possibilities.
Can I find it in me to forgive cuz I feel the break of insanity.
I have what it takes to luv for a lifetime of a smile that hurts me.
No one else will do as I give into her as she is my dream.
But I don't think she knows what's she's done to my core.
Everyday even after all said n done I want her more.
Y do I submit to her the way I do to feel this way?
I can't comprehend her actions playing out day by day.
The only place I don't seem lost is only by her side.
Will she actually submit to me as my wife before the end of time?
I believe she confuses me with an other cuz I'm toeing the line.
Never ready to walk away yet I'm goin down in my mind.
Hearts done felt the worst of things n its as if she doesn't care.
N all I keep tellin myself as my head nods back n forth is its not fair.....

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dead stare chuckle

The corridor to my heart is a motionless hollow hall in which on skinned knees I crawl.
Dark without shadows of the beast within n this ache within me is all ur muthafuckin fault.
The only light is behind me as it gets smaller n smaller for I can not stop n turn the fuck around.
I'm captured by the pain that calls to me with a familiar voice in silent sounds.
I hear the twisted lies, yet I wonder if the face its released from is jus a demented as one in the same.
Its an evil whisper of spooky tales like u needing me near to own me for ur gain that claims.
I can't see a fuckin thing as I stand still to feel the chilled breeze forced from my frozen core chard.
Oh how I can't take much more of the fear as I endure the torcher from the queen of hearts.
Wtf am I to do as the walls suffocate dimensions enclosin in on what's so fuckin pure?
U did this to me n yet I still run to my inner pits of no return, to my lonely emotional cure.
I jus wanna close my eyes n drift away so fuckin far from the thought of u cuz u hurt myself.
Somewhere in a timeless presence where I don't havta seek pleasure lent by hands of ur help.
Here's the thing of the day as I face a life without u lingering inside my emptiness' weakened own.
Can u feel me release u from the depths in a sense of oh no! Baby, please don't let me go?
U fucked me up in a way I feel a sick sense of life cockin my head sideways with a dead stare chucklin.
Yeah, I'm a lil different from the one u knew before u escaped cuz I was the one u were more than hustling.

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without her

Sun felt warming the face in a new day rearranged for a change to prove to me life is not over as of yet.
Yet the loneliness without a luv I thought I'd always have for her remains deep in a place where I hide from the sunset.
Fallin shadows into the night claim the most of me needing her in a way i felt as one for we r the same kinda charm.
Lil did the realization pay attention to the river flowing within this man's opened heart collapsing with her in my arms.
Damaged the sky hasn't the same visual affect in eyes that once believed in the pleasure of happiness's touch.
The display is jus colors thrown n stuck above the willingness that's given up on the passion left to drown in the rain fallin in luv.
Damn me for allowing her to feel as free as she shoulda been cuz she stepped on my neck lick a crack beneath ur feet walkin carelessly causing a pain that's unbearable.
I see life in a new way in this afterlife without her clinging to my side's everyday as the games she played were disrespectful......
I will never be the same as she's somewhere else lost as I am wondering what the fuck happened to us when we were made for each other.
Finding ourselves thinkin how did we fall from a luv that was worth the moments earned with someone that was more than jus a luv'r.

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ur apologise have no place in my inner ear canal touching my mindset set apart from ur voice tryin to speak to my heart for sympathy. I don't ever wanna hear u say I'm sorry for what u have done to me is inexcusable in my eyes cuz I was as good to even ur fantasies. u sold me out for ur own personal gain that reflects an image in the mirror u can't even bare to witness without me by ur side. how could u destroy n tear down the emotions shared between us n figure I'd always stand by ur side til the end of times everlasting find. I told u, don't understand the luv I carried for u for so long as u walked on me tryin to show u, u had a friend in me. n now that the lies n games have caught up with u I now know y u shielded me from ur pain u caused me the time we had to express truths. I can't hear u luv for our moment has passed cuz u refused to fight for a man that was there no matter why as for u now I have no use. I know who u r n what I was to u as yes luv was shard, yet ur selfish ways dismantled the purist thing I will have ever felt in my lifetime that's changes the shape of my smile. do u know why I woulda done jus ti see u smile n know u were not alone in this world that's filled with folks that r out to get u as ur face is the only thing u have to offer all the while? so save yourself like u did for over three months as I sat in pain chasing my dream so I could prove the luv was as real as the air I sucked into my lungs. please, i never wanna see ur face for if I do I know Imma wind up in my last holding u til the end of time in the middle of a meaningless cuddling hug...... goodbye 1! I do luv u..... still

Save it

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the fear

What fear is not luv'n an other the same.
Bein unfair to someone tryin as I did burning out a flame.
I will never find the meaning nor purposes again.
N I don't know if I want her crawl up under my skin.
I had it in my grasps n it so sad it did want me back.
All the while speaking fibs that formed lies that slashed.
I fell in n fell away madly in luv with my one.
Now the fear of allowin time to accept someone that lingers.
I never wanted an other u find their an other the rips of my fingers.
I've learned how to sleep alone n remain faithful to a fool.
After giving self in a way the only thing that showed was proof.
Now left standing with the fear of my world changing before my eyes.
N even thou I still luv for her I can never cry.
I just don't understand of all people y do this to me?
We said til the end of time itwas us for life.
I guess I didn't read the fine print n ignored the signs.
Our time sroopedway to soon for a heart that cared.
For a friend that was there for the gain of emotions shared.
N it hurts as the fear becomes clear n everyday is focusing slow.
Idk where I am goin as solo as the days running from the night's flow.
Lost n regaining the strength within I release her from myself.
After bein as one with the only one that helped.........

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under the sun

Do u feel it?
No more b.s.
Life has returned.
N yes a lessons learned.
Its a battle won.
Walkin as a man under the sun
Simplifyin the situation.
Let loose from the frustration.
Here I am.
I've done all I can.
Jus a lil note to self.
I am still felt.
Away with time.
With a stronger state or mind.
Its back to me again.
N I gotta plan.
Only on question remains.
Where to go with my gain.
As still as breaths exhaled.
To walk alone I was dared!

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slip into me

Gimme a minute. Don't be so quick to keep it movin.
I'm harmless n jus wanna find ya. Lets get to knowin.
Where do ya stand in life? How is it u'll work out in mine?
I'm jus sayin. Give a moment of ya time to slip my charm in ya smile.
I'm a big boy n u can keep ur draws on. Its jus who I am.
N if it works out ya can share ur treasure. With a grown ass man.
Can ya feel it. Dig, I'm jus tryin to see behind ya eyes.
I'm ol school for sure. Puttin down the ground work for the grind.
Stand still n hold up gurl. I'm not her to hurt ya.
I'm tryin to find my one. N I'm seeing someone interest is noticing lookin atcha.
Take a moment n ya can step on ya way. Jus do what ya feel.
Keep ya head over ya heart. Mingle with an individual who's the real deal.
Lemme see if I can appreciate what u bring to the table. I'm jus me.
I'm bout the work its gonna take. Slow n easy slippin further into a dream.
Jus here n there. When u can use truths in ya reality.
Don't make me way h ya walk away. Ya'd never know my capability.
A playa I am not. That's games as old as yesterday.
I'm jus realizin I'm digging ya. Can I get a piece of ya everyday?
Think bout n take a number ya won't forget. Hit it if ur feeling it.
Feel free to size me up. I can pas the test n slip into me all up in ya mix.

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I was there

I think I fucked up lookin after an other doin the right thing.
Put relations on the line cuz my heart lives within my wedding ring.
Wtf did I do n what was I thinkin cuz she's hurting in the worst way.
I never meant to cause so much pain but it wasn't my actions bein lost in between days.
I was only tryin ti help the only one I've ever luv'd n ever will.
N now her smile sits motionless without what make sure luv spill.
Yet I had to make sure she could never cross that line again.
I was jus tryin to be that one lookin after her Dillon a man's shoes.
As a friend like no other n I believe I slipped up when I tries to help, whobknew?
I'd become that one that took away her joy she lived for everyday.
Ibdidnt mean any harm n I wasn't playing any type of childish game.
It came from the heart as I did the unthinkable but I had to make sure.
Now she looks at me withdrawn in her eyes in which I've caused.
This is an unfair life that claims us all cuz we don't get out til our hearts forced into a pause.
Even when times feels like we can not go on to the hurt we endure.
How can one felt so.bad when intentions were for the only cure?
I don't understand the concept of bein there fir someone in a way they haven't a choice but to do the right thing.
Jus so when they do their own heart can feel the joy of the rhythm in which it sings.

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u left me in pain to return as if nothin ever happened

I gotta satellite outta myself for any chance of survival after allowing u to touch the only place inside of me I kept away from the time of day so no one could ever ruin my chance to enjoy a luv I waited on for far to long before u came around n entered my secrets n turned me against the only one thatbhas ever mattered within my own.........
N greenish it lost n fleeing a place deep enough to be destroyed only by one as I never wanted me to be subjected to the pain caused by someone I've patiently hung about to show myself n see me in there eyes as it was u that freed my passion that jumped out n clung to u in a way ready to be grown............
My time is a waste to say the least cuz u came along n played with my emotions for ur precious gains keep of gimme gimme n I was to suffer at hands of luv's twisted manipulation claiming smiles curve that's now as flat as a horizon without a sunset..............
Alone n drifting wit thoughts left of what was the purist thing jus behave u turn back around n give hope n the feelings beg me not to bow to ur ways without putting up a fight n put self first like i am my own best friend defending what's left after u turned n walked away leaving me madly in luv with a dream I couldn't awaken cuz I tried n failed the test...........
N here u r claiming ur luv is as real as the day before u forgot who I was to u n wanting the ownership back i gave u from the very start of US becoming one in time to enjoy til the end of the creation of man fading into a story to he told of two individuals that couldn't go without their other half no.matter what..........
There's a fine line crossed here that u neglected screw months back that I fought n moved closer for utopian return towards that felt comfort injury stay that u threw away for reasons I do not understand to this day of bein face to face with the luv of my life starin me down as if nothin ever happened to what was shared saved luv..........
I swallowed my pride nuts emotion n heart over n over again tryin to hold on as i chased u thru the storm jus ti havta throw my hands up n watch instep carelessly as if I was no one to u n. It hurt iI still hurts knowing ur here wanting me as I am truly scared.........
I was there for u as u left me out in the balance of subscribe be blown anywhere the breeze coulda taken me far away from u n I held my ground tryin to prove to u what's meant to me in such a short time I had to feel u against the one in me that cared............

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I allowed u to help me walk away. like this diddle Ive perfected walking away. I watched u play ur games on me. lil did u know I was setting myself free. thru u doin me the way u do I let u think u had this. yet til the end I stood by u n put up with ur shit. u see, u made it easy to walk awAy from u. n u don't even realize I'm jus that good put to use. I beat unattended ur own game before u could end it. but u have a job now n my duties r done here, its fixed. I'm not unstable yet in the beginning I did chase. til I realized Nubian mama in the mirror in my own face. what did u think u were doin luv with my heart. cuz I seen u comin Damn near from the very start. jus took time to prepare self for the end. n u made it so easy ti step with purpose with me as my best friend. I'm.jus better at the game the u could ever be. without even playing I allowed u to force me to be free. thank u for thinkin u knew what u were doin. cuz I seen u comin n goin. I allowed u to destroy my feelings for u. n enjoyed the feeling of u bein released from truths. all cuz it's what u wanted as I respect u tryin to play me a I went along. I've been where u r so long ago it not funny yet wrong. I shoulda jus ended it sooner but I needed u to do me in. so when I did step away I couldn't feel I within. do I realize I allowed wHat I thought could never be happen. me not luv'n u, n on my own far awAy from ur maddenin. ur fu min new ti.say the least n I'm laughing now. for image able to stand as a man that u helped create somehow. wow! did u ever think I'd be so rounded more than I was before u. yeah I wasn't asleep to ur leading me one for so long girl. n to be honest Imma miss u in my world. but I can not feel ur presence anywhere inside of me. ur gone, flushed out, away, down u went with my dreams. n I'm good with the facts that I embraced thru ur actions. I'm not the one who has to deal with the results n reaction. for I don't nothin but trey til my opportune time. fuckin luv u 1! but no longer want u as my wife. u ruined every emotion I ever had for u. n I allowed it so I could be me once again withbuse. I'm walking away a better man with skills. N unsung break my will. that's the kicker cuz u couldn't break me. watched u slowly tear away the meaning . n ibthinkbits funny cuz o owned my ass. u thought I'd never be able to outlast...... its good shit huh! cuz I know u have emotions left with luv. sux swallowing the pain you've caused don't it? im done MANDY! I'm finally tired of ur shit. goodbye r forever so here is urs. I no longer feel u u in my core. n it's all ur fault n u r to blame. I'm walking away before I hate. cuz thatbstill mean I somewhAt care. n I don't so toodlez cu u weren't fair.....

Allowed

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I'm jus cutting to the chase

Lemme cut to the chase.
Get as close as space in the middle of a pause all up in ya face.
I wanna picker up n taste u draped in lace.
For not my own my sake but for ur pleasure finding its mate.
Roll round n wait on my moment to help u escape deep into fate.
Imma be wearin a cape like a super hero makin ur toes curl n break.
Snap, pop n squeeze as I raid ur underworlds shame.
Tamin passion felt in a game of, say my mytha fuckin name.
Playin n sweating like its raining doin the funky munkey cumin with a came.
Never will u be the same.
From soft to hard claimin the way I move my cane.
Goin a bit insane the way I move into ur cave.
Give it here gurl n want me to stay.
I'm all man, what more can I say.
I'm jus tryin my damndest to make ur day.
I got this crave sitting in between ur legs.
N u know I'm not only one that needs to be laid.......
I can be ur man that fazes ur fuzzy shaved.
Yeah, I wanna be enslaved to ur frame.
Diggin in to take the blame.
For ur orgasm on parade...... in jus sayin

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come on in MANDY!

Come on in n feel my pain.
Touch the way u let me hang.
The sweat on my brain feels like rain.
Claimed by fingers placing blame.
Cuz I can't escape ur face nor name.
N its totally driving me insane.
Chained to the rage inside my hate.
Nothins the same without my fate.
Within my cage is where only ur remain.
My hearts captured, its ur slave.
My gain is lost n im insane.
N i gotta watch drift n fade.
Remembering all the b.s. u use to say.
U came into my life playing ur games.
Affraid by ur side alone n enslaved.
As the memory of u is tucked n saved.
Y after so much to u I gave.
My inner beast u touched n tamed.
Its the way it played out in yesterday.
Yet I got to see u layed out in lace.
I think of all the hard times that we faced.
N how u made my own heart flutter n race.
Times have changed cuz u turned n walked away.
Jus ur way of sayin I'm on display.
I felt u to cave within my embrace.
U made me feel my open grave.
Mated for life now its rearranged.
Tearin emotion from my days.
But it's ok as u see me beg.
I'm not enough for into stay.
Running u went off n went astray.
After the passion that we shared in luv's fame.
Now I sit n pray over the hurt u made.
U ripped my life apart without dismay.
So come on in n help me recreate.
Our time cut short split in two by ur locomotive train.....

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I'm out

Back out Im entering this world with my head on swivel.
With another piece of my past burried by the shovel.
Down with my head on straight n after the thrill of life.
At the basics putting it back together on a natural high.
Comin into focus is confidence bustin loose from the seems.
Released from the presence of choked by a ring.
Right or left the decisions mine to roam as I go at my own pace.
The world is wide open for my stamp on where I wind up in my stay.

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it's u

If I were anyone else I'd leave u at the bottom.
Yet I want the best for u so I will not leave u there rottin.
Its u of all people that has claimed my luv's test.
For my head truly depends on what resides in my chest.
Please understand I am a friend like no other.
Ur closer to me than my own fuckin mother.
It's u that came outta the blue n changed my life.
N I have the right to keep u as my very own wife.
I luv u with more truth than u will ever know.
Cuz the hearts emotion will never go cold.
Yet as i sit here n can not help in the way I should.
U get my all like u always have bringing out my good.
Anyone other than u can kiss my fuckin ass.
Im out for self along side our timeless hour glass.
Understand the depths you touch within my core.
Cuz I don't think u realize all I want of u is more.
Til my dying end u get what I've always stood for.
Over u I'd rage a lifetime war...

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get to know a fella

Manning up. Feelin myself beneath thy skin.
Silk n slick. I'm more down to earths grin.
Good at what I do. Gettin with my own.
Confident. On my way to claiming the throne.
A gentleman. Yet as dirty as sex can stand.
Rounded out. Walkin thru life's lil plan.
Findin a new way. All by my lonesome as a man.
Never fading. Goin on the feeling of life.
Molded for the sake. Enjoyin the hype.
Been there done that. Teachin somethin new.
Here how it's done. Pick up on the clues.
Witness how I play. Without game bein self.
In control without. Movin straight in to bein felt
Hard it is not. Guess I jus been near to many females.
Listenin n learning. To all their fantasies n fairytales.
It as easy as 1.2.3. Born to please the mind.
Followed by the bodies calling. Noticin the sighs.
Yeah I know. So heres to u falling to truths.
Imma do u right. Here comes my use.
Enjoy ur claim. I can walk the talk.
Jus good enough to keep. Its not my fault.
Lets make life hot. Made for two.
No u don't see me comin. I'm brand new.
I'm nothin like you've seen. N it's jus the prelude.
Makin u feel alive. U I'd never reduce to cut loose.
I'm here. Full grown n open to ur mind.
Send me a vibe. I'm bout grabbing life vines.
Squeezin out a bottle of wine. Drippin in time.
Can u feel me? Cuz u have no idea.
U dont know what ur in for. Hell yeah.
Lemme blow ur mind. Jus cuz I can.
Help u relate. Growin within ur own woman.
Its like that. Imma show u how.
Come go with me. Here n now.
Ur in good hands. Trust.
Turnin in luv. From eyes that lust.
Get to know a fella. You'll be amazed at what u find.
I jus need a moment. A piece of ur undivided time.
I got this. I'm nothin like you've ever known n all me.
Comin out to feel ya. In more ways than one ever so free.
Release yourself. Check ya watch n see how time flies.
Spinnin. Imma spread u as thin as air disappearing in between lines.

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a statue emerges

Slow patient pain lingering beneath the confusions smile.
Dead emotions still, hidden from a passion worth the while.
Holdin frame, captured by misguided moments unjustified.
There's an unstable mess living within the cores restin place crucified.
Help, someone please give notice to the frustrations strangulation.
The pulse is flat, missing the point of no returns duration.
Inside self a war is outta control between the heart n the mind.
Conflict consumes realities dreams of compressed demise.
Swallowed with purposes the frail existence settles behind a battle cry.
Down goes self, burying times chance at pulling through.
Wicked the feelings twist, deep in the lies of untold truths.
Claimed by failure, regrets attack thoughts injecting betrayal.
Hands reaching as air can not be handled in the fight against denial.
Reduced quietly into a tumblin cycle of worth n irrelevance.
Round n round up n down blinded eyes have no more tolerance.
Givin way for the healing, structure reforms what's left of the pieces.
Before anger outlasts luv's relentless power over thy choking leashes.
Gain has no life anywhere here, jus lost n redirecting silence.
Planted roots ripped from the souls soil lay about with violence.
Ooh the torcher that creeps thru the veins frozen bitterness.
A statue emerges as a form of expression that once was long live happiness....

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it's us

Til the end its US.
I wish h I could believe after the lust.
U caused pain with disregard.
Ripped me from feelins n left scarred.
Ignores n thrown away like it was easy.
Wentaround actin tough n sleazy.
U hadn't a moment to spare for my luv.
N I can't remember the last time there was truth in ya touch.
It was a game to u to clown on me.
Left me standing in the middle of our dream.
Madly in luv I was there for u all the way.
N after all's said n done u realize by ur side I stayed.
Yet the tide remains as if I turned on u.
Girl I don't think u have a fuckin clue.
I'm more than the man u will ever need.
Yet I was the one one my knees.
U played me like Jews no one to u.
Like i didnt know what u were doin without clue.
If u remember I told u what u were doin.
N where you'd wind up n were goin.
I'm stillborn yes but I am not the same.
N I'm tired of ur so called blame game.
Either get at life n accept our fate.
Or release me from ur grip of hate.
Cuz I've done nothin but react to the pain.
N at walked away before I went insane.
Udont realize the level of luv I have for u.
Expressed in everything I do.
So keep up with this way of life ur living.
N this outage control way of takin my giving.
For I won't be around much longer its gettin old.
N the weather is chilling n will turn the heart to cold.
N once frozen an other will warm the soul.
The one I which u couldn't feel for u tryin to hold.
Am j makin this a clear as I possibly can?
Cuz Imma bout to show u how I can walk away as a man.
Ur fuckin up n I won't stand for the lack of interest any more.
With u I'm becoming extremely bored.
As if a waist of time all together.
N jus think not to long ago we promised each other forever!

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afterlife

So this is what life is like without u.
This is how I'm left feeling after all is said n done.
How ironic the emotions I fought off.
Glad it was so easy for u to turn on ur one.
N this is how u walk away.
Once upon a time I thought we was forever.
So as I sit here well never know now.
Its a different kinda feeling not bein together.
Its sad who u truly turned out to be.
N how u did me as ur only true friend in our time.
Guess it jus took a few yrs for the real u to surface.
After u couldn't face me cuz of all the lies.
N the games I finally faced.
I tried to show u a new way.
My thoughts r we jus may not be so much alike.
So this is the afterlife were u didn't wanna play.
I feel u on ur journey needing ur fix.
Everyone has a change of heart.
As the mind turns cuz the other has another lifestyle.
Til now I luv'd u from the start.
My best was wasted on ur selfishness.
U tore all 11 of our lives apart without care.
So go get ur justification pleasing ur high.
Separated ashes jus doesn't seem fair.
Yet I accept with smile the outcome.
For I know who u truly r now standin alone.
This is my life walking in the other direction.
Feelin u fade as I begin to roam.
Pushin u out of that one place no one could ever touch.
N it amazes me how a luv so pure could end.
Left in a moment of truth I found u.
N I'm better off as sad as it sounds cuz u wanted to pretend.
But we both know y we really stopped this rollercoaster.
Lets jus sat my side was willing a able.
Gettin at what I wanted in my presence.
N it may hurt that I'm not the one that's unstable.
Leavin u in a place where I woulda never thought I'd leave u.
Gone I'm off seeking my true calling.
With my head clearer than I've ever thunk.
I'm not wasting no more time on u Stalling.
As I rest in what's left of us released.
Goodbye MANDY!
I will miss u but life is not over.
Yet my realization of u is u r only eye candy..........

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