Problem is, I don't feel like I'm worth a fuck. Issue states, I'm not what anyone wants. Alcohol says, I'm a lost cause. But too hear me say it, I'm ok.
But the fucked up thing is, I'm ok with being alone. Sadly I wish it wasn't so. Behind closed doors I'm safe from relations turning out to be another loss. N as bad as ifi luv to be, I don't wanna be known.
No one will hurt. Not one person can hate me. People will just go on about their lives. N I, lemme tell ya, I can dream.
Bcuz it send that's all I'll ever do. So far gone in my own lol world. Resisting the thrill of another wanting in. It's me n me alone without a familiar girl.
One to share memories with. I'm a fairytale that never lasts. As it's needs over wants until the day I die. Damn that's deeper than I'd like to bury my past.
With a lone over luv mentality that most don't understand. Thy heart is willing to spend life holding out. Reconditioned to expect there's no one coming anytime soon. N I don't pout.
My thing is I truly don't give a fuck. People are who they are. N I don't fit in to the chaos of fitting into the bs that isn't me. N believe me when I say, that shit is fucking harsh.
For I wanna play but I can't seem to find a groove. I'm just moving to a different rhythm that's more unique. Hidden as I hide behind closed doors. As a believer in the joys of of grief.
Twisted I am n I own my own. Distant n confirmed by realities drift. But what I'd die to endure is a real chance. To feel they endless pain placed on my in a single kiss...
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