Sometimes... Every now n again... A thought momentarily comes to mind... N for a second, here n there, it isn't sexual... Nor stubborn behind the walls... I feel human every so often... I wonder... Dig a lil deeper than i usually allow myself to go... I quit pretending when the silence is listening to my heart... Unable to lie... Knowing I'm cheating myself... N i think, why do i over look smiles... Bypass emotion... Settling for a life of solitude... As i sit, sleep n awaken with the empty... As patience comes to a nerve that won't let go of the question that's gone unanswered... When I face me when alone... Seeking without being seen... Lingering through life, waiting in a sense... I wander in my mind for the key to open me back up... Caught in daydreams that come n go... As i can feel the hope just outta reach... Drifting... Creating a version of self that cannot come out... Fearing yet another friend to lose... To witness a cherished luv sooner or later just walk away... Mixed feelings arise... Anxiety crawls beneath the skin... There's something missing that eases my days... The belief that I'm the piece that fits is no longer an option... Awakening from dreams i wish i would've never woken up from... As the mirror reflects the truth in my eyes... Lost, n looking for what.?. Stuck in a phase... Trapped within... Accepting unfulfilled nights as a way to remain safe... Trying to avoid that ache that sneaks in to remind me that there's more... Breaking the strength down when zoned out... Scared to tune into some real shit that could make a difference... As passerbyers are picked apart... Dismantled like they deserve the judgments of what's best for me... N as convo meets the hollowness of a room in which only i reside... I remember what i was once like... Free...
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