She awakens me...

Awakening to a kiss to the cheek... Feeling a smile stretch as she breathes... As the heat from her sigh does so much more than open my eyes... She's the perfect reason to come to a new day as i am to rise... As she touches my face n slides her hand down my chest... She never fails to show me her undeniable best... With ur whispers funding my ear... It's her softness i cannot help buy to hear... Nibbling a lil bit like a tug to get up... As every morning without fail it's me she's ready to luv... Curling up to the comfort she seeks by my side... She makes the moment more than worth having her in my life... N when i don't move she chuckles in her own weird way... Climbing up on top of me with the sun behind her to begin a new day... She's breathtaking n hopelessly in luv with who it is i am... As i witness myself coming from within on a daily being get biggest fan... As her fingertips find the curve of my ribs... My palms ride the texture of her hips... She jus wants to see the design in my eyes look back at her... Looking up at her goofiness unable to put her into words... She has this way about her that gives me so much joy... Able to play like a child yet understand like an individual of what it takes... As free as being who she is i am what she believes is the ultimate gain... Making it as easy as jus being able to live... N there's no one else I'd personally would rather be with...

Fall away...

To be present the day u fall is not something i wanna see... With a stare having in my direction leaning in to a belief that I'm the answer to ur dreams... Ur blinded by what u want n cater to the thought of who u want me to be... When there's something missing in my eyes u can't seem to believe... As u think u can change hire my heart feels by being the way i breathe... Unable to realize the physical entanglements are shallow giving to momentary needs... I don't wanna stand n watch u wind up on ur knees... Doin anything it takes to win my interests lingering with the breeze... I'm trying to be a friend n my kindness is seen as being mean... Refusing to give in to emotions demanding the sooner than later grief... So to entertain ur smile wanting to suck n kiss on my lips is a fetish u peep... Why don't u believ one day eventually i will be forced to leave.?. Back on my own with another memory neither of us can attempt to keep... In the second u tilt my way i don't wanna catch u falling into what u feel is free... I come with a cost where pain jus may develop is i donut witness mentally sanity... N you get that they is no limit to the days to know what it is u bring... I can't become ur version to me as i drift into the back of ur mind as if a careless fling... So if u would go reach in to someone else's chest, please.!. I'm not as easy as ur one two threes getting lost within what ads up in ur pleads... Years earn the gaining of the five to ten to get to the sigh of twenty...

Altered...

At one point life was with every moment in the living... Ever since it's been to hard to bare for there's not much to be given... It wah like being at the top with lung to spare in the heart... N anymore it's what the fuck do people expect when touching old scars... Once there was peace befor the chaos came along... N now the silence jus wishes other would get lost... From the heights of smiles raissed to peaks seen for days to come that are never alone... Down to the belly of the pits where nowhere ever feels like home... It used to be there was a joy that was as free as the air we breathe... Though that all changed when reality was a struggle to be redeemed... After being touched by a worth that made everything make so much more sense... The end result lingers in the swamps refusing to pretend... Knowing the better days have come n gone asf if time is shortly lived... There's a diffetent kinda chuckle in the way names are shaped upon the lips... From a prior emotion that believed in others... The myth formed its own tale where the loneliness can only be comforted by acts of random luv'rs... Damn the though of how passion consumed desires wanting to play... Due to all that's left is fear of what could be if self ever did escape... Remembering the foolishness that spread like a virus through the chest... Back then is where usefulness have it's best... Altered into the makings of a solo act running scared... There's no hope to ever allow the sensitivities to be bared... Things were simple once upon a time ago... So fuck it if u must know...

Jus drive...

I have shotgun n u can drive to wherever u like...

We can hit the coast n sit on the beach or find an old country road n roam...

The direction doesn't matter as long as here is in the rearview mirror...

Just start it up n let's get lost for a lil while with a smile...

Work the bends like u work ur curves n allow me to loosen my nerves...

Off to a getaway made for two as life is to be excused...

With a lil one on one to wherever u decide is our momentary home...

Take me with u is all i ask n ill be good company n that's a fact...

I just need u to steal me n go live some other kinda dream...

With the windows down we can head down south...

Even travel as far as the mountains transforms our faces into a more comforting norm...

Anywhere will do as long as I'm with u...

Cruising around with nowhere in mind n everywhere to be found...

Listening to the wind in between out favorite songs as we flee...

I can be ur sidekick n enjoy the risk...

Let's go to a place where it's jus our own lil escape...

Drift n turn the wheel to become simpler than what this world can feel...

Jus u n i, mobile, free n at times looking up at the sky...

Talking in the silence as the horizon changes before the eyes widened...

It's the brief stops along the way that create a spark prior to the flame...

To give a lil light at night to see how we in fact sigh...

Resting for a bit as we sit n shoot the shit...

In a remote undetermined location as if nowhere feels like a relocation...

Either in the middle of the thick of woods known as the sticks...

Or upon the opened flat lands where forever can be seen as our last chance...

It's up to u as I'm getting in to take a ride bcuz ur worth the zoom...

Tilted sideways...

There's days i feel like me, free n complete... Then there's others that scream from daydreams to stop it, please... Pleads follow the need to gather myself within my means... Then i lean into the the way my mind leaves me to wander with eyes that leak... Finding a shortness of breath when screening through the anxieties pleads... I teeter on things in my mind my heart caused due to cheap tings... As hitting my head only indented bings in the chest that opened holes for grief to breathe... Sometimes I'm ok n everything seems to be a relief... Then i wind up not being able to believe in anything... Idk if I'm coming or going or what mood will trigger the lead down deep in my very own heap... I'm no one to be although others think I'm living the dream... I feel alone n dead all at once n it swings like saloon hinges that creek something mean... I'm tilted sideways unable to rinse myself clean from the heat that creates a sweat that stinks... As i sink n then surface with a gleam safe from what I've seen...

The comfort of depression...

Battered emotions will take the mind for a ride... Confusing the inner details that make self resist reality's reason of why... When a luv truly felt refuses to feel in return it'll ache in the heart... Triggering the rawest passion to bury itself deep in the chest that's been chard... As time has the only key to unlock the chamber to where true worth resides... N even with the door swung wide open it'll still choose to hide... Leaving desires to wander about carelessly in the wind... As if luv cannot rationalize what a friend truly is... Damaged thoughts destroy the mental aspect to believe in others... Building a wail so figurative due to the interest in self sought out by luv'rs... For self has misplaced the ability too reconnect with what goes on in the outside... Claiming the singke life is so much better when sitting alone in the middle of life... As depression is fought in the silence behind the smile that creates joy for others to feel... Transforming is the clown from within the pain that is all too real... Having control of every function other than late at night... When the day fades n the no one can see self shine... The twist reflects on the hurt that feeds brain... Keeping self awake is the desperation of trying to forget that one fuckin name... A face that haunts the memory due to no one else is allowed in... N this is how the betrayal is able to live... Sucking on everything good that comes along... Wishing the one thing that haars everything could actually talk... As walls have no ears n cannot absorb the voices vibes... When all is said n done n the tongue cannot lie... Hope has been lost in a solitude made for one... The one true place that becomes the fears home...

Back n forth...

Swinging in the sunset sitting on the porch... Thoughts of a life lived is a crave of wanting more... As age tells the body it was worth every fuckin second spent... For the reflection alone has its very own story as it went... It was long... Yet shorter than it could ever be thought... Having times where alone dragged out n being in luv swept up memories gathered for self to hold tight... But that's life... Sitting in a stare on why it tends to turn out differently than what the heart wants... N it isn't until it doesn't matter when the mind throws in the gloves... As the creeking sways back n forth jus thinking about where one had been... Without anyone to share a single tear with when poking at the ribs... Jus watching the horizon change colors until the night does its thing... All the while drifting with the loneliness unable to breathe... Being too old for anyone's bs yet having a lil somthing to give... The solo rock goes back n forth content to be at peace with the grit... As the skin wrinkles n hands that have gone empty for so long... Being trapped in the head is a norm where one doesn't feel so lost... Bcuz when the day comes to rest there's no one left to lose... N that alone is with a chuckle to be amused...

Along comes another smile...

With another smile to come along the fight is on... The wall goes up n the shit down hides holes that's been torn... As the refusal to heal is just ventilation as i breathe... Making it easier to feel the flow of the breeze... Though it brings yet another stranger triggering the fear... With self goin back inward attempting to avoid words lips want me to hear... When the silence sounds better than what week eventually fade... Voices last as long as yesterday coming up from tomorrow stuck with a familiar face... Here comes an adaption demanding worth... A soon to be friend where nothing is ever good enough just to claim that it hurts... In the moment of sharing a lil time... But is it to gain an earning to be in my life.?. Coming outta nowhere are inquiries using selfish interests they cannot see... Unable to witness the difficult choice that must be made of simple lil daydreams... For thoughts are created by an imagination that doesn't live in the real world... I'm jus trying not to have my fingers buried into my fists as they curl... Due to luv brings hate if deptgs are bout considered in the indivudual that stands alone... Knock knock knock, the heart vibrates from a tappong wanting into my home... Shaking behind the locks... Watching hands spin around hours looking up at the clock... There's one more digging a tunnel to get to me... As my anxiety bounces off the walls jus thinking about the day they leave... At the end of everything i am to open up to they means nothing at all... I sit on my solitude chuckling jus to listen to reason echo off the walls... The one true thing that's been there line no other had ever felt me from within... This gesture constructed is a twist shaped into a grin... A defense mechanism that doesn't seem to work... As the presence of a possible luv'r lurks... Waiting for a reply to actions put into play... What is the mind to decide when all it craves is to escape.?. With eyes awaiting something different to come along... To touch a deeper texture ever so raw... Rare to the sinking beneath the skin... Truly living in between the tickle of each n every rib... There's a new figure telling me nights would be so much better if they were laid up by my side... As i collapse jus wanting to die... Petrified of what it is yet to come... Drifting back n forth in no need to get along with the rush... The struggle tugs a pull to give in or be folded by another passerby... I believe my brain has finally been fried...

all i ever wanna do is...

my imagination has an illusion it's trying to stick to ur silhouette... yet ur more like a hologram only i can see when my eyes focus in on the shadowy figure i haven't been able to witness as of yet... like a day dream that i chase in my head i cannot quite catch... i sleep to watch u play in the thoughts i cannot control every night as i relapse... jus to drift on the wonder of who u are come mid day as my mind gets lost... my sights knows ur shape n my senses can feel u the close u get... though it's when reality has faded n i'm lingering in the space in between my ears is when i reach for ur lips... as they are claimed by the darkness as i awaken to my heart racing ever so fast... like the story of my life of never being able to lean into the thrill of ur body in a moment that lasts... i try to go back under bcuz ur nowhere out here to be found... n all i ever wanna do is fall beneath the lights n slip away with u in some sorta fantasy that creates a friend whispering wow... bringing to life the mirage u seem to be... just outta reach... right in front of me... yet, too far to mingle in the flesh in need... though there are times i cannot remember a fuckin thing once i come n back from ur grasps... knowing every time i jus wanna see ur face so i know who it is that wears a faceless mask... roaming in the depths of my chambers so freely it aches to play cat n mouse... sitting upon my tongue is the usefulness i cannot get to come outta my mouth... for all i ever wanna do is taste the flava of ur name as i call out to u... for u to spin around for once so i can have a glimpse of u on the loose... staring at me like come n get it if u want it... knowing damn well i cannot keep up with u floating around in the domains within as ur a mere glitch... a fascination made up to comfort the loneliness i cannot seem to run away from... as ur jus an escape from everything gone wrong by rule of thumb...

If u would...

Answer the calling of my heart n put it to use... I'm all i am as one man standing in the middle of life waitin on ur move... Allowin u to feel how my emotion can not deny the way u trigger my thoughts... As it ain't ur body that i need to pay the cost... Feel me without a sense of luv if that mashes any sense... Like a friend who comprehends a bond is stronger when minds do not pretend... Think of me n tell a truth of who it is i coukd be to u... Yet set aside the passion just long enough to get to the goods... Those details of use that linger on the tips of tongues wanting to move... Into my eat whisper the silliness of who u are... Tug on my smile to lift as u ignite a spark... I just wanna see u ain't live everyone else hanging around before u havta go... So if u would, give me something I've neva known.!.

A more darker place...

Idk how many times I've turned away from the mirror with a tears falling from the eyes... As the whisper of fuck life shakes my pupils n i can't face myself bcuz i know who i truly am in my mind... Wasted n tucked away in the silence where no one could ever reach me... I jus didn't resemble myself n everything around me wasn't worth the living it took to believe i was free... Trapped in isolation without a friend within as the walls keep closing in... Tweaking my smile until it was tilted into a grin... As my reflection showed me i wad no longer the same... N at times i wished it would all end so i could be done with the hate... Lost i fell deep as age changed my face... Awakening to every morning to the sane ol  that i couldn't escape... I wanted out n cane close to digging my way into my grave... Unable to stare back au myself i eventually caved... Found the floor without a bed but wad better than a seat behind a wheel with no shower to bathe... Just to feel it slip away again as of there was nothing in this fuckin works to be gained... I was my worst enemy though i wad the only friend i had... N it didn't add up in the confusion when i did the math... N living, fuck, i mentally killed myself night after night... Making empty rooms more crowded than the space between my ears listing the fight... Alone i sat n contemplated how death would take all the pain away... As i cried for i was afraid... Living in fear of what i might do if it had gotten any worse... Listening to my tongue taste all the things that hurt... I felt distant n sucked into a more darker place in which i was constantly torn... As my mind snapped n somehow a light came on... Though i remember the endless disbelief that drained me dry... Having to gather reasons to move on n collect my life...

Cum on out...

If we got to the stimulations that aroused hormones to truly come out n play... Who would i witness come to life as I stroked every naughty thought displayed upon ur face.?. Giving them what the seek beneath a indescribable chuckle stretching ur smile... Has ur eyes speak to me looking up from ur knees making the mood worth the while... Is there something deeper to ur desires u haven't as of yet done.?. I could show u a few things about yourself if u accept me as that one... In an act of submission where ur pleasure is that of my own... I just can't do the typical bs that cannot comprehend it's all in the way u moan... Teased to beg n yet want me to stop bcuz the nerve is just to fuckin much... As i shh ur lips n go a lil softer until ur able to compete with every pounding of a thrust... Is it in u to feel my hand squeezing the blood flow to ur head.?. Exiting what triggers u to open up n be used to make u vent... To speak out obscenities as filthy as ur human nature cannot be tammed... Though through sexual interaction you'll be maintained... Played with n enjoyed until ur body gives the fuck up... N what we do will remain in the room in which we take the time to explore the rush... Pushing limits until i have gained ur complete trust... Ooh, what the tongue is willing to hush...

It's always there...

The fear of change never seems to stay away for too long... Causing a ripple effect that makes anything other than the silence, wrong... It shakes the heart n tries to pry the bars off the mind... Wanting in to give hope like it'll never turn out to choose a different life... As emotions tremble when fingerprints touch the surface of the skin... N thoughts get the better of a good thing knowing it would be messy to live... On the outside of the loneliness where smiles are shared... Yet that's a place where redirect interests n it's right back to feeling scared... With a chance comes one of two things... To enjoy it while it lasts or reject the offering of an other attempting to sing... To awaken to a familiar face they know n trust... Though a day lingers in due time where forever comes too soon n there's a falling outta luv... Friends don't talk n the void fills rooms unable to hear echos flung at the walls... Finding self alone n wondering if others ever truly care about a simple pause... A moment in time that speaks in its own honestly way to be claimed... Believing in opening up instead of all of the hate... It's the ache that shuns comfort to the side... Petrified that if someone gets close they'll use the dull side of the knife... Yet, it doesn't tend to ever miss is cue... Right when a smooth groove is found one remembers the end that rips holes in the chest from the abuse... N it's like closing the casket sorta speak... To be done with the twisted bs that's always placed at bare naked feet... To do ones own stomping or to turn n stray... It's inevitable so why ever look at relations as a gain.?.

Creepin on...

There's things i do n do not believe... In between this n that n all the questionable definitions of free... I just wanted to show u i never lied when i told u i was a friend before anything else... Even though i was never considered as a keep as i was never truly felt... N the hardest thing was to havta stop doing what i swore to u, but i wasn't given a choice... For even i for some reason couldn't fill that empty void... I never had a chance but I ain't mad though... I had my moment n I came to witness a real sense of worth that snuck up on me after the fact of u n I n all the oohs n ahs that turned into whoas... I found me in a different situation in which u refused to partake in other than being stuck in my mind... As all i can say is, life goes on n it's about fuckin time...

Something i just...

Do u remember that time i slide up behind u n softly whispered in ur ear, "I'm madly in luv with u" as i kissed ur ear.?. N do u recall ever since, not even my friendship ever meant anything to u bcuz truth be told i was someone u could spared.?. Yeah... I've lived through the change my heart had to adjust to as u had fun at my expense as no matter what stood its ground without one ounch of proof... Though i looked the entertainment based on gimme gimme that allowed me to remove u from depths i didn't believe would ever let go of u... U don't know but when i wad with others it felt like i was cheating even though there was spave n time forcing me to wake the fuck up... Though i liked it due to the things I've learned that helpedme comprehend the true messing of luv... N i just wish i could have my tag back at times bcuz u ain't it but i wouldn't know u the way i do... From ya smile to ya strut to that laugh thst went through me it's the real me u are too lose for i honestly never had u... Don't call, don't text n by golly don't ever believe or wonder if u ever cross my fuckin mind... I buried u in the hole u dug n watered me a brand new htatifying type of life... Using ur memory as the fertilizer to grow upward n back into what u failed to realize what u held in ur arms... N yeah, I've known for some time i was never held sacred to ur heart... N we all have how w feel n u have that right though i jus wish u woulda told me instead of thinking u were smarter than me... I have a knife n gave u a flame as the wick burned until u couldn't be felt pulling out the blade setting me free... I just wanted u to know bcuz u presume to imagine I'll always be one phone call away from u needing a lil comfort from a friend... When in actuality i was done the day i didn't at me in ur eyes n that was prior to ever walking away from a touch that soothed the beast that came to peace with relations end...

dead's end...

if there's nothing at the end, what was it all for.?. when the day comes to look back, what's its worth if life is a lonely bore... unable to share memories as self hasta store images no one else has ever seen... living daily as a loner making ones own way n bypassing nearly missed day dreams... jus to  wind up in a solitude state of mind with not one person to enjoy a smile with... as chuckles can't even rumble a tickle on the shallows of the ribs... who is one when it's all said n done n everything has gone by so fuckin fast.?. as time ages the face unseen in an other's past... what's the purpose of doin shit on ones own if the loneliness is all there is waiting.?. to sit with a void due to the fear of being hurt just sounded too evading... having a sense of lost not wanting to ever be found... to dwell of what one should've done when luv tried to make a sound... where's the comfort in a friend that has no idea where years hide in self's head.?. only having stories without a true visual pondering in old age due to trust issues that define one until they're dead... when evenings are as eerie as old tales of unfulfilled passions stagnant upon the tongue... when is change needed before ever winding up miserable n so outta touch.?. is there any meaning to the self righteousness of what's best for me.?. repeating a cycle that rotates into strangers unable to remember that one time type of free...

Who to be.?.

Who to tell the details to.?. The secrets that make us living proof... Beneath the surface where truths are hidden... Deep in a place damn near everyone's is forbidden... So who is it one is to share the centers core with... To tell them of the fine design in which one lives... Like the enjoyment of a cool breeze on a auier night flowing through an opened window at peace in the mind... Or a tailgate lowered to lay beneath a star filled sky... Though it could be a evening cooking dinner with that one person that means the most... Where glasses or even shots tink to a toast... Then again what of the slow motion created when intimacy stroke desires... Could it be a friend is to be witnessed by a flickering fire.?. Perhaps it's the joy of family gathering for a feast... Who's to know of what touches a chuckle deep within.?. Or a soothing moment that eases fists... Maybe driving down a road that hasn't been captured by the sight... Stopping briefly to listen to natures's way of life... Yet, who will cherish the pieces that settle the nerve.?. To be trusted with the heart's very own worth... Discrete n giving every fragment of themself in return... When use is never to speak of a bond muted without words... As eyes open to every new day seeking the thrill n the calm... Holding luv softly in the center of palms...

Jus to be nice to u...

If ur hungry we can go get a bite to eat... I don"t want much in return but a conversation n some company... Maybe just chuckle over a meal as implicated.. U can go ur own way n I'll drift back into my life as the privilege would be appreciated.. Just to feed u so i know you've eaten today... To create a smile upon ur face to take u away from every other day... As a friend to enjoy a lil nibble as I'd rather not be alone... So if i could, I'd like to get u outta ur home... Simply take u out n show u a moment worth a gesture so free... To wherever you'd like to go it's my treat... From a stake juicy enough to fill u up... To the tailgate lowered as we slam some pizza jus doing us... With no strings attached to a lil time spent with me... I'd be grateful to have ur company...  I'd surely enjoy u for jus a lil while... To say i wouldn't I'd be living in denial.... For i find it soothing to be around u n I'd like to know why... Over candle lights or grabbing some chili dogs I'm down to dine... As long as it's u that joins me for a lil chitter chat I'm willing to listen before u havta go... That is if a gentleman could possibly stuff u whole... To live within a few hrs u wouldn't soon forget... With my eyes making contact above ur tits... I know it's a rare thing in today's world to be treated with respect... So consider me if u ever would wanna get out n about to gab ur gums over a lil taste test... I'd try not to bore u if i can... As I'll be waiting with a full attention span... Jus tell me where you'd like to go or leave it up to me... I promise u i jus wanna be nice to u n get some nummy...

Rare breed...

I like average... Even if they come in a rewrapped package... Someone who doesn't have much but still tries... One that knows every now n again even luv cries... The simple type that ain't never been rich... Though fight to have a lil something kissing their lips... To freely give to an other without distributing old pain... Knowing hope has faith in enjoying a gain... I enjoy an open mind... With one that owns a heart unafraid of life... A more rare breed to open up to... Comforting the feel of truly being put to use... With a conversation that doesn't havta say a word... Or talk all night talking about anything jus to be heard... As their smile in its own brings me from within... In sync with themself before looking my way to lift a grin... A unique kind willing to share a few memories made along the way to the looking back on... Where there's an unspoken connection known as the norm...

The circles end...

I remember now... Of who i was n what happened to make me become who i am... I can feel me again... N idky it's taken so long to come back to life... To feel free like all the weight has finally lifted from my heart... I see me as a child... As a teen... A young man n everything from there on n in between... As i can recall vivid memories in which I've forgotten... How did i ever forget how to live.?. To wonder lost for so long... I was so full of energy... Hope... Luv... N now I'm back in touch with me as the pieces within have finally found their place... I'm me again... Laying in a silent room listening to the sounds outside... N as i close my eyes i can go back... To replay thoughts like I'm still there... I see my mothers face... Feel the cool breeze coming in the window laying in bed... I've always been the loner who just wanted to be luv'd... The distant one that allowed my mind to get away from me... Taking me inward... Creating a fear... Stealing from my own heart, my own worth... Though here tonight is what I've waited for for so long... To reunited with the old me as i introduce him to what i don't wanna be... Trapped... Afraid... Defeated by emotions cut from the nerve... Damn it feels good to sigh... To release the pressure on my head... Not to have that feeling like drifting is all i am... As I'm still here after all this time... Smiling n able to enjoy my life... N i haven't felt this way for quite some time... Loosened up to be once again... As the real me was happy to get it in... Fearless... Ready to gain a friend... So to combine what I've learned with the truth I've hidden away, priceless... Like a child eagar to awaken to see what i can get into... The circle has found its end n now i can finally breathe... I'm safe from living with the void... With precious memories of my kids when they were lil coming back into view... N dreams of how I've always wanted to do it all... It's now that i chuckle for i cannot be stopped... Hi world... This is the real me n I'm never letting go...

Far from home...

As we rest with the engines idling wanting more... We give the road a moment of silence for its back by our tires is worn... We sleep as we straggle in one at a time... Far from home n missing out on a normal life... Yet when our eyes awaken come morning's call... It's the money that spins like wheels turning in our minds hoping to see a new dawn... One where luv'd ones faces aren't so strange to sights leaving the pavements alone... N as the truck shakes with a vibe it rocks full grown babies to sleep as we miss home... Lined up night after night for weeks... Crammed into stops along the way for our own selfish greed... Sacrificing family for wealth to roam freely with the scenery most will never enjoy... From small towns to big cities there's paper to be earned to fill the void... To gain a better life left on a horizon in the mirrors reflection... Giving what we have to a trade demanding perfection... N on nights where the smell of rain lingers to soothe the beast... We rest for a dusk will rise to be claimed that doesn't come cheap... As down the highways n the backroads we drift as we drive... Thinking about that one turn that takes us back to our families waiting with grins that shine... In the stillness of thoughts we think is this as good as it gets... There's a choice in how one chooses to live... To wander around from here to there able to take in the beauty outside the city limits... With images embedded in the head that are so very vivid... Just rolling at will looking for a good bite to eat... Knowing a home cooked meal would be so fuckin sweet...

it's ur scent...

come a lil closer, so i can sniffle me a whiff of u... just move in to my way as the breeze helps u linger perfections truce... i've missed the scent of a woman n i'd like to get used to ur smell... as one brush of ur hair in my face just flowing as it's felt... over this way u can bring ur yourself into my space... as ur skins fragrance revives me in a way life is my escape... as my nostrils open to catch ur presence leaning in to feel the comfort u create... i could find a use for u if you'd jus ease my day... as u n i could be laid up wanting more... attracted to the aroma coming from our pores... as us, attached to each others bodies not wanting to let go... content with the motionless vibe settling the nerve never again to be alone...

come on sooner than later...

accused of my own i stand alone... no matter what is done it is sitting in silence lost in a place that doesn't quite feel like home... n as the music plays i feel pieces of me drift within trying to get away from the truth... seems there's more than the tongue refuses to speak of when mentioning what my life could use... guess i've been all by lonesome long enough as the linger of the solitude just ain't fitting the mood anymore... n i'm leaning in to the future a lil more everyday n there's no one waiting for me to land as my heart pours... still i can't move wondering how much longer it's gonna take for me to get over myself... for i don't wanna keep on with the fear that's damn near faded as my mind seeks outside help... i blame me for allowing it to take a lifetime to wanna accept someone new to snuggle up next to me... i just need to do my thing to create a smile upon someone else's face as the believe in the same dream... two as one until the show comes to close... i don't want this empty void that consumes the mind controlling hope... the lifting of weight has come to free me from hiding in from eyes wanting to take a peek... n by golly i have done my time of being locked behind closed doors when others has so easily breathed... it's my turn to feel my way along to see where it is i am to belong... all i'm waiting on is a vibe that cannot be denied n this one here is gonna open n to show depths so soft... in my moment to enjoy a bond transformed by free will... mingling with an other so in tune with the rhythm of sighs carrying the same note like has a luv known as a thrill... rounded out to the opening that could never cut a hand reaching for the comfort that holds a friend all night long... adding to my story to land on her pages as we read the same final chapters that has it's own song...

tormented by self...

Sometimes... Every now n again... A thought momentarily comes to mind... N for a second, here n there, it isn't sexual... Nor stubborn behind the walls... I feel human every so often... I wonder... Dig a lil deeper than i usually allow myself to go... I quit pretending when the silence is listening to my heart... Unable to lie... Knowing I'm cheating myself... N i think, why do i over look smiles... Bypass emotion... Settling for a life of solitude... As i sit, sleep n awaken with the empty... As patience comes to a nerve that won't let go of the question that's gone unanswered... When I face me when alone... Seeking without being seen... Lingering through life, waiting in a sense... I wander in my mind for the key to open me back up... Caught in daydreams that come n go... As i can feel the hope just outta reach... Drifting... Creating a version of self that cannot come out... Fearing yet another friend to lose... To witness a cherished luv sooner or later just walk away... Mixed feelings arise... Anxiety crawls beneath the skin... There's something missing that eases my days... The belief that I'm the piece that fits is no longer an option... Awakening from dreams i wish i would've never woken up from... As the mirror reflects the truth in my eyes... Lost, n looking for what.?. Stuck in a phase... Trapped within... Accepting unfulfilled nights as a way to remain safe... Trying to avoid that ache that sneaks in to remind me that there's more... Breaking the strength down when zoned out... Scared to tune into some real shit that could make a difference... As passerbyers are picked apart... Dismantled like they deserve the judgments of what's best for me... N as convo meets the hollowness of a room in which only i reside... I remember what i was once like... Free...