I've been over every scenessc in my head to many times... As lookin inward had found there's no answer in my mind... Seems I drifted a lil to far away from the contact in which I seek... Finding myself alone making up imaginary dreams... Thing of the perfect woman inserted of goin out to see what exists... N I've forgotten the feel of expressions placed upon my lips... Mentally selfish with the desires that claim passion put to rest... As the effect stalled out the process of great fuckin sex... I can't feel a thing emotionally other then where in the fuck is she at... Thought I gave up lookin heal from my past... N as I wanna come out n play on levels of luv to be felt so deep... The question remains, when will I receive for the need... It feels like I've locked my way behind a tested for with the exact same thing on both sides... That way if I escape I'm right back inside... Losing pieces of myself on a daily basis... N at times it feels as if I could use a facelift... Something or someone to bring my smile back to life... Not that it doesn't work yet, it isn't playing nice... All grinds until someone takes an interest bcuz I'm picky as fuck... Sitting with needs over wants afraid to trust... Knowing we all talk a good game n it's hard to believe in words thrown in to the air... All due to thet incompletion relations that always tends unfair... Sittin in disbelief listening to tones that change at will when they don't get what they want... Hearing the thought process once again whisper what the fuck... I don't know what the fuck I'm waiting on anymore... I jus don't wanna feel my own heart be refined having to pick it up once again off the floor... Knowing I jus feel someone last with me in a moment to comfort the run... One in which had become a way of life n is no longer fun... Needing free from friendships that failed to stand there test as lies we'w spit... N I do restrain from calling them outta there names with words somewhat like a bitch... My own maturity can accept compatibility is the one thing that will drive luv until there is no end... But one hasta open up to the will to fall in luv the again... It's jus the thrill runs out when others jus cannot seem to mean what it is they fuckin say... Or is it me lost within my own believing I'm gonna be betrayed.?.
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