only if life wasn't so fucked up for me right around this point where i can't seem to offer much... yeah self is the most important but shit got fucked up n i can't feel the luv... there's things i need to do n i gave my word i'd get it done this time... i have no more weights holdin me down as even the thought eases my mind... yet, the tenderness of what the heart wants is unimaginable as i'm jus better off... the emotion within digs in a lil too far n i can't afford another distraction tryin to open up when i can't even enjoy bein touched... it only teases the flesh as goosebumps become renegade soldiers givin away the truths of what it is that clings to me... ooooh by golly time has halted at the standoff no one else can see as my smile is as if passion exists behind closed doors, so it seems... to allow somethin in would break my own word that refuses attachments until i have it in me to snuggle on down... even though i miss the feel of relations as hands roam without sound... i cannot think that way as i'm beginnin to realize there's distance beneath the surface that is unsettled due to what has become of where i am here fightin to survive... n leanin in to someone jus bcuz i need a ll help so fuckin bad isn't an option bcuz i know i'd be gone the first chance i had once i was revived... runnin back into the sea of cowards with someones heart chasin me until it in its own couldn't keep up.... so alone i sit as the mornin comes back in the a.m. for another chance to reachin a lil closer to an other as i work my azz off as i've had enough... it's sad to go to such a waste as memories haven't a moment to be made hidden behind what jus can't be redifined... my facial expressions are not of that of anyone else's as i have things to do prior to collidin with the one that has no idea of what i have in mind...
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