The move...

I've had to share everyone I was ever with... Whether it be bcuz of some sort of substance that had them cheating as if that's what it took or they jus couldn't help talking about an ex which is irrelevant... Never have I truly had anyone to myself... Even though along the way for a brief moment in time I was felt... There was always another lifestyle or silly reason why I had to go... To here them tell it, their luv didn't want me no mo... As time itself spun into future altercations that told a different version once I was gone... N the heart didn't know how to respond due everyone seemed to have the same identical tendencies to do someone wrong... Either it be deliberate or not knowing what selfish acts can actually do... Five relations within twenty three years n I'm spent like lost money on a life that was never mine while emotion jus doesn't wanna move...  I jus wanna be greedy for once without ever having to tell someone not to do what their true intent is gonna wind up doing... As it's not that I'm abusive or boring... I believe they have a mental condition of others fuckin with their heads so they make the first move... N it's me with my heart open cut the fuck loose... It's a played out tune that defines what luv never was... People jus want the feel of that initial rush... Unable to dig in n feel something real enough to reside with an other...  All they fuck with is those they can call luv'rs...