Idled out...

There's no emotion I can come to open... I cannot feel a thing worth the time of hoping... There's something within that jus isn't working right... I try to pry a crack to release what it is behind my eyes... Yet I don't know how to flip the switch... I turn away from everything within my grip... The grasp isn't feeling to urge to slip into relations... Seems there's a lil more than what I thought goin on with the dead end flirtations... I ain't broken n this I know... My consciousness jus ain't with the whole luv without a home... I have interest in opened mouths that wonder why I jus don't wanna be felt... Others keep goin as I watch them walk away as their own heart melts... I hold nothin in that was to be removed... Past times have come n gone n are way beyond through... I jus cannot come to lookin long term as hrs feels like an eternity... Like something I'd to be worthy of me... I know I'm nothin special to say the least... N I ain't one for building myself up with a need to have them on their knees... My heart jus saying lettin anything in... N my thinking process backs the movement in which saves my grin... Not that someone cannot add to my passions trapped inside... It's jus a lil thing of outta mind, out to a sight... I can't be hurt if I linger along the likings of trust... Even though I'd luv to fall deeper than thrusts... As hands have opened to me willingly... All to close within me in them submitting wings... They fly away as I never look back... N I don't mean to cause no pain, it's jus, I'm not looking for anything until it finds me in the middle of a laugh... I'm not built for another round of the end result of self forced to give up again... There's only one person that has a chance to get in n land... N right now I honestly don't know who she is... But I'm listening to words sittin upon useful lips... As direction looks around for a better way to live... With one question as if yet unanswered n that is, what is it I cannot refuse to give.?.