"MY LITTLE PIECE OF .COM"

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

can u feel them walk in n straight thru u?
everytime the breeze blows it's chill loose.
r they felt once a hole had taken then away?
as if they once filtered what was meant to stay.


it's funny how u can feel em walk straight thru u. As if the breeze blew n u felt em come n go as reason had no use. Jus comin to chill n leave as if the window fell outta the pane. Jus stepped into n right back out like the wind chasin the rain. It's a feelin that fills n empties luv that changes with the seasons. As the emotions collect the scars lesions. They act as a filter cleansin the mind of false hopes. Cuz once they enter they take the purity that can't cope. As what's left is the reality where maturity kicks in. So u should thank em for stealin ur grin. To lose the weight that plagues the heart is such the relief. For the mind becomes more crisp n understand up of the knees.

Monday, December 22, 2014

the only

under the impression of one luv.
circles the unmanageable mind.
true luv is more to luv only one.
depths r dug once, crossin the line.
jus one is all there is to luv.
luv that one cuz there isn't another.
they're all that exist that far down.
the only luv one can call forever.

u gotta show me

it's so easy fallin in luv with u.
if u lemme, if u want me to.
sounds strange like how do u control it.
allow me to demonstrate thru the b.s.
cuz u gotta show me who u truly r.
if there's any chance of us neva to part.
decipher with me the mystery of us.
opened n barred, mentally touched.
this is me as if opened for u to witness.
with reality as my only emotional twist.
I have learned of hands that smear.
n endured the feelin of disappointin fear.
lost once luv'd, I am pure n waitin on u.
with ur past jus make a truce.
emptyin some space so life can appreciate ur heart.
endless luv would luv to know who u r.
to level with u as you'd neva be alone again.
this one, this chance, this is a real man.
wantin ur hands in my plans.
lemme collapse into ur truths.
gently intrude so u know for u there's use.
one day at a time, slowly intertwined.
share with me time.
the ability to get the fuck down.
here in the now...


it's up to u

I trust no one!
do u really need to know y?
u may not like.
cuz the one I luv left n I don't wanna try.




details?
well, if u must know the truth.
I'm broken!
n no, it's not that I don't luv u.




my heart is simply fightin death.
i don't believe in lies.
so understandin them, I will never give the time.
lets stop fillin the mind.




I'm me n u r u, now sigh.
u wont luv me forever.
lets jus enjoy what we have.
Then forget we were even together.


who cares if it sounds that bad?
reality doesn't care cuz it is real!
it's somethin to accept n expect.
in that way I could never feel.


I've been there n it will end.
this is it, n its up to u.
don't change my past.
jus be u n live til its through.


if u wanna go.
that's the point I was tryin to make.
feel free to do u.
whether ur here or losin interest as a mate.


it's life as it's best.
givin another experience a moment.
this is how it works.
so while it's before u, hold it!


y is it?

y is it I can't feel the luv until u reach for me?
like empty cargo shipped off over seas.
sent for the fill so the vacant space didn't end up sittin still.
nothin hits the sweet spot like u had when u owned my emotional capsule.
y is it I'm anchored to the one thing that'll never be?
bobbin at the surface for everyone to see.
I'd drown if I didn't have ur memory unwillin to leave.
n at times it doesn't feel as if the air I can breathe.
cuz I'd luv for it to smell like u jus walked by.
as I stop u n hold u in my arms smilin in time.
y is it I can't shut this thing down that u touched?
with the distance that plays n only seems to strengthen the luv.
life without u jus isn't the same n is so fuckin weird.
even though I know u r slowly fadin into my yesteryears.
back when I said yes to the devotion u turned on.
I fear the day I stand face to face unable to hide my thorns.
the rose may have died but its frozen to remain in my chiseled chest.
I can't thaw unless it's to ur warmths feel with interest.
y is it the truth only spreads itself hidden in these lines no one can read?
tellin what's in the creases tucked to comfort the need.
cuz its u that I will forever want as kryptonite.
madly in luv yet I'll never be able to stand near the lies.
as the ache curves realities change that you'd r.i.p. Me apart.
it's harsh tryin to accept the facts that stand guard.
I lost the piece of me that stood against anyone that ever came along.
n to think of it, for u, I was wronged.
to luv u is to shred what I am n weave it into a rug at ur feet.
yeah I understand that it truly got that deep.
yet I want u in ways no other will ever do.
so y is it I'm the only one ur not afraid to lose?
is it u know I'll always stand by ur side no matter what?
cuz it hurts to be (THE ONE) u claim is ur true luv.
n I hear u came lookin for ur way back through me.
to me, I was told it seems u jus might not be done.
question is, how can I trust roulette is fun?

Saturday, December 20, 2014

sands of time

the promise jus turned into the sands of time.
I couldn't hold on to every single grain defined.
fallin on their own, in their own direction.
like a waterfall in the hands pourin emotions.
it jus shattered n cut the palms that gave way.
I'm sorry but i had to let u go to heal the wounds.
it was never my intensions to break our luv in two.
in to pieces fragmented without repair.
but walkin away i gotta say i no longer felt impaired .

Friday, December 19, 2014

starrin back like a coward

on the other side of the mirror lookin at me with a expression of disappointment peekin back at me as if the end.
Back behind the reality lookin in from the dark side of the light, I see what can't be seen standin within my only friend.
fair is fair when one cares, darin to come from the third party standin in the shadow in another dimension hidden.
Shakin the head as if a shrink amazed at what we've become in a battle of luv as self's been bitten.
it appears to me there's no guts left in the eyes that's changed abruptly cuz I wasn't true to self.
N I'm lookin thru the image starrin back like a coward as if I know I'm isolated beyond the glass n trapped with no help.
I can't reach myself without breakin me into millions of pieces that'll shatter the separation so I can become whole again.
yet none of the trio trust like we did back when nothin got in under the pleasure as we stood as an independent man.
one two three n the third can't be seen without a light on the other side of the two way mirror, provin we're connected.
in a lineup in perfect alignment that needs broken so the edges can relate in a conversation that we're not crazy, yet infected.
afraid of the pride that's gotten in the way becomin thinner than that of time unseen lost without a cause.
I'm a prisoner of my own mind that cracked goin kookoo like a hairline fracture inside an invisible force field flawed in a pause.
from behind the mirror we all turn the head the same way as not a one of us is watchin our back.
Yet only the two on the twins side is seen cuz they can't see self outside of self livin with the facts.

it hurts holdin on

I can not keep on luv'n u.
it pains me to admit this unforgivable truth.
I gotta go.
it's who I see in ur eyes where ur secrets r told.
forgive me, is not that I wanna leave.
if I stay here imma wind up losin me.
n when I go I know I'm Neva gonna see u again.
either way it'll break this man.
it hurts holdin on to the u I luv.
this will be the saddest day I ever lost touch.
I'm sorry if u feel as if there is a way.
but the change u modeled went a stray.
ur jus not the same.
n I must be on my way before I'm to blame.
please take care.
cuz livin with u i live as if I'm scared.
I'm goin now, down the road for a bit.
I won't return as I remember this shit.
it is what it is.
I understand now how ur open to luv.
but imma ease into shuttin the f... Up.
there's nothin more I can do.
u give me no proof.
not one reason that convinces me.
n I don't have ur in me no more to plead.
my time here is done.
u made me believe I am the one.
so, so long, it's been real.
but I can't afford to feel this deal.
goodbye's r forever.
n as of now, we r no longer together!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

undeservin

u don't belong within the memories in my mind.
u haven't the right to enjoy my rhymes.
please, jus turn n go before this goes untold.
y do u insist on retrievin so slow.
cuz if ur listenin, i ain't speakin my pleads.
undeservin, u wont hear my means.
no use in teasin the hate u hold.
nor taste u breathin with words so cold.
my heads fucked as it is n ur to choke.
the luv we shared was but a joke.
giggles behind the slits that carved the back.
they alone left me with the brutal facts.
u r to me what i am to u.
so get it straight n show the proof.
dyin inside ur wastin away within a rottin luv.
damn near gone as if you've never been touched.
not once felt by these fingers that lived to caress.
yet u need not know the honesty that contests.
jus lettin go is all emotions feel anymore.
all cuz someone fell into somethin they couldn't endure.....

silence of luv

can u remember when words broke the silence of luv?
do u recall when expressions said u can trust?
think in reverse, of the value deeply shown.
is the recollection comin back now that we're alone?
separate in ways distance loses the trail.
how longs it gonna take u to admit u failed?
how's the nerve settle the blame that holds no relevance?
I bet patience bothers irritable tolerance.
step backwards n pause n briefly wait.
would a moment kill u to witness my face?
stunned n misplaced in ya past replaced.
tryin to render a kisses familiar taste.
late n overdue, adjustin to time let loose.
where's the friend that leaked luv's spew?
passion made luv in a touches faze.
or did u forget who took who's name?

facin the truths

I'm fuckin sorry already!
is this truly the end of our reality?
for real?
what am I waitin on here?
r u forgettin bout me?
did u actually jus corrupt my dreams?
I don't wanna believe.
luv, the luv won't leave.
does it havta be this way?
what do I havta do to see ur face?
it's been long enough don't cha think!
I'm urs as the missin link.
r u seriously not comin for me?
jus gonna ignore that I breathe.
damn u, u got me waitin.
in wonder, holdin patience.
what is it u wanna hear from me?
Is there anything u need?
cuz my minds to crippled to think.
missin u behind every blink.
what else can I say?
the pain hasn't left, it stayed.
I don't think I can hold on much longer.
the luv in me isn't gettin any stronger.
is this everything u ever said it was?
or did ur lips fake the fuss?
let me know what it is I am to do.
how longs this gonna take if we were can't face truths?
cuz I gotta let go of u soon.
n somehow finally get over u.
u don't havta fade if u don't wanna.
cuz forever, I'd still luv ya.
is it u can't find me?
cuz I'm not where u left me.
I'm not hard to find.
look in to luvs design.
I'll be right there sittin with eagerness.
waitin on my happiness.
but if u seem to live without.
if u choose to never again taste my name in ur mouth.
jus know I held out for only u.
for a luv in which u had no use.
if u never reach for a friend.
I may jus spend my time unable to lend.
I don't want anyone else to help me smile.
no one but u is worth the while.
so if this is really goodbye.
know in front of u I didn't know how to hide.
u opened me up as I still have the hole.
n without u, my heart will fold.
don't come, that's on u.
cuz I'm listenin to the truths.
repeatin I fuckin luv u one!
no matter if ur here or done.
it's real.
n I guess by now, it's my own ordeal.
u can't have my step.
u can step into me.
u can step away.
u can even step with me.
u can step on ur own.
u can step the way u know best.
u can step with purpose.
u can step in sync.
u can't stop my step.
u can over step me.
u can step by me.
u can stand on my step.
u can only help my step.
u can't be my step.
u can step, I can step.
u can n will step.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

finding comfort in the breezes breath.
releasing umbrellas in the reasons past.
blowing in the seasons untamed test.
picking up wind as emotions splash.

the point of no return

  who are you when you sleep without me?
as you drift, who do you become as you dream?
awake without realities burden of me.
do you escape the one thing I need?
where do you go when your conscious settles?
off in to your own world without me that meddles.
do you miss me as I wonder if you ever wanna come back?
or are you letting go as you comatose the past?
watching you fade deep into a distant placed hurts.
how is it I've awakened to your muted words?
seems as I rest is the only way I witness the real you.
then again that feeling is getting as old as the what's on mute.
come out and play with me, here and now before its over.
I don't wanna feel alone under the same covers.
why'd you havta go down that road of all places?
I can't reach you with the changing of your faces.
where do you go? cuz I'd luv to know.
and why did you put us on hold?
I'm not gonna make it through this when you decide on my worth.
everytime you zone out it paralyzes my turn.
unable to wake you it's not that I'm not that strong.
you're just dead wrong! And it's been goin on to damn long.
beside me walk and talk with me as a friend.
so we never say goodbyes in the unwanted end.
who am I to you as you fall away?
you do know I'm still here as much as I wanna stay?
but time is ticking and in my eyes your no longer the same.
you've changed and I believe I havta reclaim my name.
doesn't look as if you wanna walk in reverse towards to me.
guess imma jus havta miss ya other than in my dreams.
are you a fool to let loose the way you do?
or am I jus solo and don't know your through?
have you died inside on the emotion that comes to me?
I haven't seen it nor felt it cling to anything.
just left out here wanting in to the dimensions of ur luv.
so the truth can open up to me stepping in or away from your touch.
I can't believe it's gotten to the point of no return.
so at a distance I've lost you as I lurk.
it's all gone, I know but I'm holding on.
and I don't know why or what's going on.
I think I'm losing that one thing you luv'd about me.
but I will not beg nor plead as I simply ask you please.
for you're leasing me alone without the one person I crave.
and of all others you're the one I gave me to tame.
it's a jungle beyond the walls of your luv.
but I have no reason to stay as I luv'd you to much.


the last

  remember, I've seen the inner side of u.
stood as ur strength as those who could was so few.
who was there when this world was fallin?
I need not know, that's ur fault for stallin.
by ur side I was the last one to ever hurt u.
facts state I was forced to lose.
I can only take on my own open mind.
u got to even that as I was no longer mine.
closed, trapped n wrapped around one thing.
what explication could u ever speak now that there's no rings.
I'm that friend that fought u off n held u down.
n I never laid a hand on u as I was clowned.
never again is the pain I believe is only mine.
livin past u I personally would've rather died.
but know, I stood back up n took the edge of the stage.
I found rage realizin u lied straight faced.
u can blame only what the truth in between u n I can't recall.
n ur kiss was given one fucked up loss.
yeah, ur touch damn near destroyed me for life.
but I found a secret within that found a way to reside.
I am alive after the death of ur assurance that disappeared.
ur presence failed to remain as the promises were feared.
hi! It's me, the (one) that plays in the silence alone.
as another that gives more than u ever gave, roams.
healin wounds so deep I had to dig u out of me infected by betrayal.
guess who it was u actually failed?
I was never weak as I reached for only u.
I softened like a man for we all know who.
n I can honestly say nothin is left to talk about.
I've scraped u from within without a sound.
the story is here of a time when u wasn't mine.
when I was urs, always on my mind.
no wrongs could never submit a pure apology.
I was opened to the neglect where mercy fought sympathy.
jus to stay emotionally alive I let go of the one person I luv'd like no other.
as mentally I was fucked over by ur offer to be more than luv'rs.
u shoulda told me, I woulda understood ya know.
there was no reason to leave me in the middle of us growin old.
pssst! There's no p.s., jus the b.s. of livin with the taught that u gave up.
ailowy! Always in luv only with u! Trust.
I'm wakin without u lost, but I found a new home somehow.
somewhere, anywhere far away from u so I'm safe in doubt.
the joy simply stepped outta me with a smile as my tomorrow never came.
you'll never know how much luv lived that went insane.
u only got the first chapter of how I'm able to feel.
missed u r but this reality is the real deal.
I gotta lil tenderness standin by my side.
n its not u for she's not u cuz she doesn't need to be misplaced in time.
can u comprehend I woke the fuck up?
n u weren't there as I was adjustin the clutch.
it a damn fool cuz now someone else is fillin the void.
n this is the last I'll ever knowledge what I truly avoid.
gone hush only memories can justify til forgotten.
for there'd be nothin left of me to allow u to stop in.
any ol time you'd like even though ur gone back into this world.
free, u can go be someone else's girl.
I got one.
one!!!

o0
*


Saturday, December 13, 2014

time afloat awaits in the descend

dead center overflowin to the edges.
down the cliff carvin a hostile takeover.
it pours as breath takin the landscape.
fallin free to escape as weight off the shoulders.
spillin into the gravitation below.
where the rest of me goes with the flow.
drownin downstream in the current.
the rapids betray the sceneries' show.
pure n calm at the tips goin smooth.
time afloat awaits in the descend.
down river waters r white n enraged.
bottlenecked in the squeeze that bends.
raft with me n feel the moisture.
tears to fear bottom side up.
swimmin for safety to the nearest shore.
all due to a lil splash of luv.

ur the one

would u shut down our open up if my legs were to stand n start walkin? Answer honestly n don't worry bout bein cruel cuz I've been there, we're jus talkin. How far r u willin to go if I stopped when u told me to. Don't leave! Please don't walk out my life, ilu. Cuz that's what I'd tell u in so many other words. Does that help u understand I'm here n I won't budge til I'm six ft' in the dirt. As me, who am I to u? I feel we need a moment of truth. Ur the one I can't see self without n ur almost outta my time damn near used.. I jus wanted u to know ilu. For u I will always be her, but only for u...............

Friday, December 12, 2014

one purpose! one chance!

and here's what I see.
get ready to feel into me.....


goodbye reality!!!! You are no longer a friend.
lay us to rest. I believe I feel the end.
I found the truth in my own mind. Jus sitting there.
as if I was never alone. And I wasn't scared.
I fell away from societies b.s.
and here I am again, movin my lips.
so pucker up and dig into the taste.
I've escaped and just want to be erased.
none of this means a mutha fuckin thing.
the end will come and my heart will still sing.
for I've had my chance to live.
and I gave more than this world gives.
within the truths all religions hide.
I am athiest without hate that rhymes.
here on the other side of sanity that minds.
is a vision so real depths dive in.
one purpose! one chance!
enjoying the pleasures open to enhance.
the experience so few see in clarity.
the only thing that scares me is burrying me.
that is as real as air.
world, can u hear me stare?
I am awake and yes I am thankful.
but not many here are but hypocritical.
out for self n the individual is shut off.
but it will never break me so soft.
I will never be ashamed to be me.
because I am alive and I am the definition of (free).
this is it.
humanity has a weakness.
it fears something inevitable.
and if they do not believe, it would be demonical.
the concept here is just not taught.
life itself flows but could never be bought.
I stand for truths no matter the pain.
Self made I am in luv with humanity gain.
the only thing it needs is to know.
but there is no answer but hope.
so here as I am standing along side everyone else.
I promise always to be real with you and be myself.
no harm coming from within for I taste the undenyin facts.
we are the same under the sky that changes to the future from the past.
do you in your time and I'll do me stepping in the name of?
pure luv!!!



jumpin for fun

i sit and think of death n religious lies.
n wonder if there's be any cooler way to die
u see, some go in their sleep
unable to witness the final beep
n the sick jus simply like the pain
i jus wanna jump from a plane
no shoot, no cares n no fuckin fear
just a bottled of captain or a cold beer
falling to my destiny in style on a hit of speed
with a phat ass sack of weed
i'm but naked while a bitch sucks me dry
one last time right before i die
when the strength returns, there's nothin anyone can say that'll ever break it's mold.
feelings are surrendered til time has earned the hurt, n for jus anyone they just don't fold.

the drips end

emptied with that tinglin feelin.
it tickles the nerve spread.
in need of bein simply touched.
capturin the mental film chased of the bed.
n the somethin needed is the avoidance.
at the end of hopelessly not givin a fuck.
numb from the pussies poison present.
fucked up n mentally satisfied n sucked.
tightly wrapped around the oozin.
warped n diggin the optical illusion of luv.
at the drips end of never losin.
holdin on to the hips of soft lusts.
shallow on the bottom lookin up.
pressin the guided fulfillment of fantasies.
done with meaningless devotional touch.
influenced by crawlin rug burnt knees.
physically grabbin, gripped n groped.
marked limbs tied down by restraints.
enjoyin the feelin of bein choked.
into a endless gasp causin the faint.
ready to let loose the texture that flows.
cummin undone n penetratin the bent over.
skin deep remainin on the outside so cold.
as emotions simmer into a sizzle that smolder.



step into the moment


hear the voices change into echoes.

jus listen to the tone rearrange how we become close.

everything ends as use figures the attachment.

luv n lust turns to hate or is it an attraction.

step into the moment where warfare blows holes in alliance.

witness the foe seen that stands as a friend confusin what's no longer hidin.

crossin the line at the openin of the other side of the tunnel.

on the edge, how's the battle gonna rest in ur mind in times funnel.

could u flip the glass over for another hr so the sand can be felt in between the toes?

we can go there from bein here in the blink of an eye still n froze.

broken n hurt n disappointed from the dispute givin truth.

visualize prior engagements leadin up to the proof.
I'm tired of wastin what one can't receive as relations fade.
so come with it n watch us at our worst so we can be made.
if we find the attention to give a shit we jus might.
anything less is a come up n driftin with one another that can not lie.
for we've seen the brutal end that opened emotions endless find.
n still stood with the comfort of knowin it's us for life
.

healin heart

u don't know the weight I carry.
the never endin ache of luv so scary.
the feelin alone plagues my healin heart.
Bein who I am, I know how I R!
a wasted drain clog buildin moisture as a man.
I'm jus in the way no matter where I stand.
shits seriously worth mentionin.
cuz I still don't believe this is happenin.
the strength it takes u couldn't lift.
u have no reason to release ur grip.
I'm lost in many ways left of center.
n there's one thing that should make everything better.
yet it's somethin no good for me.
I live as a reminder hanged at the end of leave.
I can't shake the thought that it'll end.
nor the fact in which way I'm willin to bend.
so don't vere off as I find my place.
cuz for me with a lil patience it's not to late.
I'm damn near whole again thanx to u.
the swing bridge is missin planks n rotted thru.
I'm tryin to whistle my nerves at ease.
yet I've ran outta tunes fulfillin my dreams.
I know the other side awaits with an easy touch.
but it wouldn't be wise for me to rush.
I've been healin as the breeze blows.
been caught in the rain as the water raised n its cold.
I don't know y I haven't swam to the other side other than the cliff I'd havta climb.
up here lookin on I can see anything comin in the angle attemptin to hide.
appears to be I've been tryin to lose my so called mind.
petrified I am, of the horror luv can become.
as I take my time suspended above the leap to fatal to overcome.
afraid not of the fire but the constant failure of another that's to true to soothe.
as I remain somewhere I have no business delivering friend let loose.
the fear wants to die as I can't seem to cuz I'm fuckin scared.
we all fall in together yet fall individually outta the way of what we thought cared.
so y hurry to get to the bitterness that doesn't wanna realize how I truly feel.
jus gimme a lil bit cuz I'm almost ready n healed.



Wednesday, December 10, 2014

twisted as fuck

come along n bypass the good times with me.
it's a waste to lay to rest memories left in a daydream.
lets jus get straight to the point of who we really r.
show me the hate u have for me embedded in ur heart.
then tell me I drive u crazy but u wouldn't have it any other way.
cuz its the only way I'll ever believe what u say.
come go with me on a bee line n do the business.
I'll show u that ur freakin with the deal that is relentless.
so show me the one that hides behind ur eyes.
at bare minimum you'll have a friend for life.
then rewind it to live with the pleasures all over again.
I'd show u the the best side of me as a man.
yet, only once truths have been let loose.
Charmin the snake coiled in the toe of our boots.
kickin n screamin for somethin real for once for its the final call.
n somewhere in the middle we could ease a pause.
but I wanna stand at the end n walk in this direction.
so time ages back to luv at first sights satisfaction.
jus to step off a stroll knowin the worst is over.
now tell me again which name I go by as ur words get bolder.
I'd luv to be done with what could break us at this stage.
friend or foe is the difference if u stay or go so don't be fake.
give the shit cuz it will be dealt as I sling my own dirt.
come witness this is me gettin over the b.s.. that ends the hurt.
long before time forces the anger that'll come sooner than later.
now would be good to settle the nerves impulses to fill a crater.
cuz without u I'd be fine n unfortunately feel the loss.
twisted as fuck, destroy me with ur worst flaw.
then show me if u were to leave you'd do anything if I'd stay.
jus so I don't ever havta every see the day we finally go separate ways.
as ready as I'll ever be I'll release all the pain upon ur frustrated face missed.
cuz if we demonstrate the irrelevance we'd get stronger on a daily basis.


starrin back like a coward


on the other side of the mirror lookin at me with a expression of disappointment lookin back at me. Back behind the reality lookin in from the dark side of the light I see what can't be seen standin within my only friend.

fair is fair when one cares darin to come from the third party standin in the shadow in another dimension hidden. Shakin the head as if a shrink amazed at what we've become in a battle with self bitten.

it appears to me there's no guts left in the eyes that's changed abruptly cuz I wasn't true to self. N I'm lookin thru the image starrin back like a coward as if I know I'm isolated beyond the glass n trapped with no help.

I can't reach myself without breakin me into millions of pieces that'll shatter the separation so I can become whole again.

yet none of the trio trust like we did back when nothin got in under the pleasure as we stood as an independent man.

one two three n the third can't be seen without a light on the other side of the two way mirror provin  we're connected.

in a lineup in alignment that needs broken so the edges can relate in a conversation that were not crazy yet infected.
afraid of the pride that's gotten in the way that's thinner than that of time unseen lost without a cause. I'm a prisoner of my own mind that cracked goin kookoo like a min inside an invisible curve field fkawed in a pause.
from behind the mirror we all turn the head the same way as no a one of us is watchin out back. Yet only the two on the twins side is seen cuz they can't see self outside of self livin with the facts.

on display

the pages of my heart r opened up here.
only if u took a moment to listen to self readin how it feels.
it'll jus it shouldn't take too long if u gotta lil down time.
woven in the threads that has patched my emotion doesn't hide.
it's on display of u ever feel I wanna know.
waitin with patience the passion aches as it's told.
hear how a man craves a woman like u thru time.
emptied n sinkin in ink as if it were tracin the design of ur eyes.
if the compassion were a flame it set fire to the proof.
reachin for u within each n every line showin for u there's use.
it's an endless devotion tappin at the deepest depths.
gettin to the squeezin that drips the image within words kept.
sittin still is a visual taste felt escapin on a muted tongue.
wantin the realization of what rotates inside to be seen as it comes undone.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

behind come forth


friggin spark won't light a flame.
it's like I can't stand behind my own fuckin name.
somewhere on here I'm walkin on circles.
lookin in my spittin image turnin purple.
I know who I am but it doesn't seem I can be.
I failed me n lost sight of the under thing I cling.
over protected I've entered a depth in the mind.
n it won't release the idiotic past tense that's mine.
it's for self to face not to live with daily.
held behind the line insides I'm restrained in time.
most of the excursions is the head talkin to the heart.
unwillin to listen to the fire I've become b not doin my part.
I hate me for fallin to a fake cause that tweaked.
changin my reflection as if a crayola scribbled me on my knees.
crippled n squiggly outside in demeanor.
defeated as strength hooks bait behind the eye sore.
theres no easy way in no fuckin possible way out.
ask I have is words that r muted blinded with no mouth.
n there's a rumor within that speaks of a spiral that lingers.
a zero that can't escape is what I'm called unless u listen at the end of my fingers.
spreadin a new curve at war beneath surface.
one unwillin to believe who I am is worthless.
I claim me but me don't want me to live.
constantly riddlin a diddle doodled hid.
I can't fuckin touch I til he comes from behind where I'm hung.
a noose with a slipknot with no noise sprung.
tuckin honesty in nightmares frustrated.
n they've become so comfortable luv'd n hated.
jus awaitin the day I wrap a clutch around it's neck.
cuz I'm over checkin myself since we've met.
I'm my own villain trapped n causin havoc.
runnin wild from the wolf I'm scattered like a rabbit.
shook about as the attempt to misplace self elsewhere was unsuccessful.
dumbfounded I returned to rid me of the one place tension was pulled.
it backfired n superman climbed walls as of Spiderman.
smashin memories wound hip in a web wounded.
n the expression of done is to fuckin fluent.
it's me I can't get to, to reinvent the resentment.
ask that's wanted is to be once again stand independent.
unfazed as a boomerang that always returns.
cuz even if I refuse to listen, I've learned.
lessons left lesions on a legend leakin.
as scars taste the treasure no longer bleedin.
so why's it swingin on a hammock in between my shoulders.
draped in front of emotions ready to kill the soldier.
it's been long buff fit the claim that's eats at the buffet.
I want me back in time to catch up to bring back the days that all that mattered was gettin paid n laid.
behind come forth from the tail end to the beginnin of me again.
untangle ur roots n lift the pen that traded me in as a man.
cuz its like I'm deep throatin my past to ease the pain jus to sit still.
grittin my teeth it's time to bite down n end it's thrill....

the moment that ends it

six men marchin in stride.
luv lost carried without time.
soldiers layin at rest a soldier.
fightin thoughts gettin older.
witness to lifes technical flaw.
face to face with the moment that ends it all.
laid in place, arms r crossed.
as memories made race to a pause.
retired from a battle set in the mind.
the shadow has come, buy the pine.
claimed without chains lost.
in since birth, released by a dream so raw.
the nightmare stole yet another.
a soon, friend, luv'r n brother.
wasted n fadin into the past that  aches.
a real individual with no afterlife to save.
lived n luv'd til the capture came.
a lone atguest in which stood brave.
lowered to be forgotten in yrs to come.
unknown as if never existed so numb.
fed to the dirt closin in from above.
total darkness packed in snug.
nothin left but a the vision of truth.
gone, the struggle has no more use.
walkin with weight n the site sits still.
it's up to nature to take its course as it kills.

Monday, December 8, 2014

anchored in the deep

blow my mind. Jus scalp what u need off the top. That lil bit of what this world has corrupted. Make it easy for me to stop.

point out the destruction I can not see. Cuz I'm not witness to my own. I am human n a friend would be nice. Will u be the one to be grown?

I get sucked into the constant foolishness. Seems no one can get thru. Shut out shovels can't dig into the pores. Jus shave layers til u reach the war. Yet beware fragments regenerate to cover invisible temptation. It's urs if u can get to it. But at this point I don't now how good I'll be at relations. Chisel me into form where I recognize myself. I feel like dead weight anchored in the deep. Kinda useless to luv where I haven't received a best. N I'm thinkin u could help me breathe.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

who's to say

if it were possible, could I get over u?
guess I'd try if there was no use.
but what if I can't n don't?
maybe my dreams releasin u they won't.
lets say I was elsewhere bruised.
out of mind n out of sight distant from truths.
pickin apart the walls left bare n empty.
lonely with only a memory to remind me.
who's to say you'd live forever.
or die as we'd be no longer together.
covered n disassembled piece by piece.
as in another I find that need.
do u think leavin would change anything?
out in this world somewhere relaxin with flings.
replacin the fragile emotions lost.
endin the relentless at all costs.

no hope

there might be hope but I can't find it.
it's there cuz I feel it hiddin in the slits.
pullin the wounds shut as the pain fades.
Scared of trusts promise dyin with blame.
it's usin the heart as a shield to fend me off.
I can't forget cuz its so clear hope is soft.
to tender even to a gentle stroke to touch.
ripples of shakes to afraid to actually luv.
the motion beneath the surface is irrefutable.
refusin to pay attention to emotions unreliable.
it's dark in the crease overlappin the seam.
seems it rather go unnoticed n sleep off a dream.
damn thing is killin me n I can't feel a fuckin thing.
jus the drought of normal collapsin every time I blink.
there's no way of tellin if imma ever live whole.
the dead silence doesn't feel as if it's at home.
cuz the cut overflowed n the best piece of me fell out.
there's nothin in here ya that resembles sound.
worst part is the lonesome caused is all my fault.
I paused the flaw that muted the pulse that came to a halt.
the struggle to find any kinda pleasure is nil.
the grip jus don't wanna release what doesn't wanna be filled.
the squeeze is crushin even the cringe frightened.
all hope must be lost in the crevices.
I'm nothin but a ball of nervousness.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

break, let n put u down

don't believe in me n see if I give a flyIn fuck!
I've done all I can n now it's ur turn to learn how to duck.
bend me a twist as i enjoy how I break u down.
make u feel like theres no use in the way tone sounds.
as alarms blare in ur head cuz u know better to give in.
u can live in my reality where deliberate stretches u thin.
feel the frustration that resides in the crash.
as words do so much more than bash.
from me to u so u know how it feels.
cuz on this end ur attitude melts the steel.
raw intensions that reveal hidden depths.
in our time that last as me as a guest.
stand strong luv it's who I am remember.
this is how u wanna spend our forever.
cruel insensitivity justified by gain.
imma put u down as u take the blame.
so unfair emotions ache on trial.
as I live it's all ur fault in denial.
then lay with u in my arms n hold u tight.
like a seesaw decipherin thru the lies.
tellin u my actions do not speak.
confusin every breath u breathe.
but I'll stand next to u n show no sympathy.
n be ur every individual fantasy.
I'll treat u as if u do not matter.
ignore n let u down with useless chatter.
don't forget I luv u cuz I say it.
yet only when I'm feelin u on my lips.

n again

currently suspended n danglin on truths. Emotions r stirred n again the connections confused.
time to waste is enjoyment playin with a dream.
as ugliness is a chalk outline damn near complete.
witness to whom another is, is comin forth.
judgement day is creepin up for the one adored.
on one to many moments under conversation emptied.
pushin in on the pointless frustration carried.
here in the real world depth is a face unseen.
hidden within is a monsters mindset freed.
upon our honesty taken for granted to lose.
lips ramble on unredeemable so called changes abused.
accused is the shake findin shade under the night.
chained to the absence of colors knife.
round in the corners edge of solo.
thinkin forever n another is trapped in a photo.
the palms r damn near open to the release.
as fadin is the touch misunderstood to please.
stranded on a stage as the world is the audience.
in the spotlight played like a puppet so obedient.
never the less is the subject to change at hand.
redirectin dead space in the mind jus to stand.
havin nothin to throw into thin air to say.
self has realized holdin on has seized it's moment.
n again underestimated the heart folded.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

can i go now

excuse me for living.
thought the luv between was existing.
I didn't mean to breathe on u.
don't mind me, I like the truth.
there's no need to hide it.
lets avoid all the bull shit.
do I annoy the shit outta ya?
cuz I can go jus cuz I ain't ur fella.
n my bad, I won't touch u no more.
jus allow me to pick my heart up off the floor.
it's ok u changed ur mind.
like on the drop of a dime.
I'll take it I was an accident.
n this jus wasn't really meant.
guess I'm someone worth givin away.
I appreciate me not bein able to stay.
I'll find my way somewhere else.
I'm sure there I can be felt.
so sad though, u simply fell out.
I apologized for whatever it was in me u found.
cuz I'm the same now I was back then.
yet I'm off to a better place for where I've been.
don't miss me cuz I know u won't.
no luv lost the way ur so cold.
do ur thing n don't forget, u released me.
yeah I know, die in my dreams!
can I go now? R we done?
now that I know I'm not the one.

resuscitated

Closter phobic I panicked in a heart that was collapsing.
I smile at sad songs because its worth the fading.
I've surrendered on my time under luv.
as the patches are stitched all just because.
the leak isn't worth a friendship that wasn't there.
and I've bounced back like a champ in relief.
that is if u ask me what it is I believe.
trapped with no way out I ripped me open.
fell hard and healed the bruises within woven.
sowed to the inner lining of what remained.
I once stood with a so called fan within the fame.
yet like foes echoes are heard with every turn.
I'm just happy to say it was a hard lesson learned.
as the glory of comfort suffocated the passion.
and in reality it turned out it was nothing but an attraction.
now that it's out I haven't got anything to say.
nada nothing zilch, the expression can finally go astray.
relieved secrets are no longer held from me.
because I resuscitated the dream of who I am and I am free.
the walls hold out the wind that blows emotional death.
reinvented I've found a joy inside the chest.
ironing out the kinks that wrinkle the face.
I thought I was defeated by what turned to hate.
allowin a heartache not yet ready to endure a fresh stroke as if a breeze across the skin that causes a tingle of relief brings truths to an unconscious mind left on the moment that jus wants to escape in a set of hands the don't try n mend but instead give reason in the way they land on the comfort

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

find what it is







It's at the end of ur fingertips.
 Reach for it.
 N if ur arms ain't long enough.
 Step into it.
 Extend even if the hurt rips.
 It's within ur grasp.
 Even in the middle of the bullshit.
 Truths released taste the lips.
 Lean in for it.
 Walk n find what it is.
 Enjoyments a moment on a trip.
 Yeah, u jus might return.
 But don't u wanna feel the kiss?
 Waitin to smile.
 As it rearranges emotions with a twist.
 As the mind thru eyes become crisp.
 Witness to the passion.
 Touch it with a tender grip.
 Loose as desires have been missed.
 Isn't it what it is u wish.
 The most.
 Openin the hands from clinched fists.
 Caressin fantasies that tick.
 Times spinnin n around it goes.
 Unfoldin ur chance as it insists.
 Chose to hold it.
 Ur answers jus may find it's fix.

when it's not selfs fault

fallin apart as if the walls appear to be crumblin. With clean hands tied to the constant fumblin. Sittin back down within where no one can possibly help. The loneliness absorbs the how shits meant to be as it's felt. It itself will feel like dyin alive is the only thing that's real. Goin with the flow when the strength needs a bit more. The space in the open feins for a way to correct shattered core. Distant even from the image in a reflection reminded by a hurt face. The mind lingers on the line of rights n wrongs n the way normal would taste. Not givin a fuck of how it has to happen to bounce back. For others failed n r failin to partake in actions that last. Findin the the bottom as the me has n is doin shady it takes fallin short. Never enough is what reality has become n one don't know y. Worth n frustration feels as if it's died somewhere inside. Unravelin bits n pieces of the intertwined thoughts r maddenin. As everyone around ignores how much effort is given. There's a special place no longer vacant deep under the surface that battles the arrangement. On standby waitin the outcome hasta stop to find placement. Without necessities in general life that's been torn from the grip. A bomb is embedded in the character pin ballin on nerves bitin the lip. There is nothin that can mend such a helpless time. No one can save the respect of ones own losin the way in the mind. A tampered heart that carries weight splits the difference n scams the the will. Cousin a weak spot so tender the irritation single handedly kills the thrill. The tamed individual simply taps outta what they've been taught. As from the depression emerges someone that refuses to pause.

only so hard

as the fillin of the heart empties.
a desperation of another givin up is everlastin.
there's a feelin of lonesome in an invisible face.
the ache that leaves that hollow hurtful ache.
losin someone one thought they knew.
a fake true friend whom echoes of ilu.
walkin away in a stagger over the madly part.
it feels like a stumble into time that's only so hard.
when two can't master the art of luv.
together they will fall from the tender touch.
emotions fall in n then fall out.
a stranger as a mate disappears from the mouth.
it will rip the truth from the grip.
as no matter what meant nothin released from the lips.
to collide causes so much damage.
time slowed down is easily managed.
til the day another steps away with ur all.
n lookin at anyone else feels down right wrong.
in the middle of the aspiration that could never make sense.
the silence finds every thought runnin wild thru tryin to make mends.
yet, standin alone wonderin is the only thing left.
but that doesn't mean u stop givin ur best.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

unwillin

Unwilling to awaken to the morning where we say goodbye. Cuz I feel u deep as ur always on my mind. I'm witness to this luv happening. Without ur face in the morning, it be maddening. Each day u sink in further than the one before. Touching the pleasure in the depths of my core. Releasing the passion that's waited to be put to use. As when I look in ur eyes I come unglued. Wanting in to that secret place within no one has been. Tryin to catch my breath as the air becomes thin. Listen to the stare that speaks in silence. Cuz I can't seem to need a way to hide it. In luv with u I've fallen into do waters. N I'm all I have to offer.

soft n pressed

Soft n pressed. Feelin ur lips undress a sigh. I'm stuck in ur eyes lookin back. Close enough to crash as into u. Landin with proof of ur all I've ever needed. Tamed yet never defeated contact has been made. Within emotions safe n reachin. As ur touch is teachin me how luv is real. I feel u pumpin my hearts use. Gently with truth that I can trust u.

ridin the vibes i feel for u

Standing in the middle of luv.
Feelin ur hand within the touch.
Emotions stir about the truths.
Expressed n wantin to be put to use.
I cling to ur presence in my life.
The depths is somethin I can not hide.
Ur the difference that never left.
I felt u dig in to my chest.
Open me up n feel me fall.
Further into u without a pause.
Yet words on hush never heard thru texts.
Couldn't possible sound like they do on my head.
Ridin the vibes I feel for u.
As the battle of who I wanna walk with gas found a truce.
Jus to near u as close as air.
Nothin I've seen can compare.
To ur smile that is real n asked at me.
N in u I wanna lean.
Be that one that styles ur nerve.
N gives meanin to ur worth..... Ilu

i jus wanna dig in

I wanna find my way in beneath the to touch that's only skin deep. Cuz the nail might cause a scratch that isn't so deep. I jus wanna dig in even if the cut may come for a chance to hold u. N u can't blame myself cuz I've found somethin within u I wanna luv. To feel un be felt as intensions r as real as the air we breathe. I wanna get use to havin u as near as me gettin down on my knees. So u know I never wanna go anywhere in life without u by my side. As my tongue could never speak a twisted lie...

how hard could it be

gettin over u should be really easy to do if u think bout what it is u bring to the table.
it's jus one of those things of simply havin no use where the possibly is able.
then again I haven't even attempted it in the imaginary sense within the mind.
yet how hard could it be cuz I decipher thru the reasons u give me to fuck with u to decide.
thing is, I'd get lost without u runnin thru the thickness of my stubborn mind.
them again, that I could be lyin cuz I haven't as of yet destroyed the thought of u.
somehow in a strange sense I find it funny to poke at u with disregard with oohs.

contact

attemptin the contact to a conscious mind flutterin in the winds of time.
goin with the breeze as if what is found isn't what it was lookin for steppin to the line.
checkin emotions before the reflection stares with confusion with that look in its eyes.
jus tryin to relate in the matter of worth fallin short in the moment behind silenced lies.
mature n awake the mind opens to the facts that self might not be what's needed here.
n conversation is to edgy to force the state of mind to take part in somethin real.

a unique place

when the wrong words find themselves in a rhythm that feels jus right... As if a sad song makes u smile cuz u don't havta go back to the head games flammable to the hearts sigh... You've entered a unique place where the level of comprehension has awakened as u see this world by standin still within... When u feel the mind snap back like a rubber band stretchin the imagination tryin to run off... U collect yourself at the breakin point as the wear n tear has begun to destroy the inner possession s soft... As the motion u feel no one can visualize has become the reality in which u live... It's obtained by truths spilled as lessons mold the grip needed to mature under the armor no longer post... Welcome, of you've reached the other side where the guy is more than a feelin tryin to tell u somethin jus ain't right. Cuz over here the depth didn't take up much space on a piece of mind..

fyi

some of the more recent posts on here r not new. They were in my drafts n in the last few months I finished n posted them. It needed done. A few of them r over a yr old. This is not a typical post.
when they leave, it's as if they've left u to die alone.