wantin it back

i neva had it
close freinds 2 grow with
buildin sumtin time can only follow
iv walked my own path n grown empty n hollow
neva hung long nuff 2 hav a crowd
make noise n get a lil loud
watch there kids grow along side mine
look back n tell stories of once upon a time
walkin a line iv chosen
has left me broken
standin still wonderin wat in the hell jus happened
lookin in the mirror chattin
as my own best friend
i feel iv lost myself im bent
dead iv bcum solo away from a past i neva had
troubled by whov i bcum,its sad
there is no1 there 2 call
no1 has my back @ all
i slipped thru the cracks
forgotten i flew unda the radar n i want it back
misplacin my life in the hands of my own mishaps
wakin from this long awaited nap
i jus want those dreams i had
the ones as i slept n passed couldnt grab
but it my b 2 late 4 sum1 such as i
nop time 2 stop on a dime
kids damn near grown n im 16 yrs in
9 left 2 go n i dont really kno where iv been
stubblin as o fool it dawns on my as i realize
iv been damn near swallowed by the tide
my name i all but a memory 2 those iv known
n im yet 2 find that place i call home
iv sorted myself outta a chance 2 smile
cheated my way away from everything that couldv been worth while
n what else is there 2 say as i cant hav it back
jus tastin those things i coulda had
it hurts cuz this is my life
1 in which i didnt wanna live without a wife
i seen myself happy with friends who cared
n yet im not like others, im rare
hard 2 find people that let it hang on the line
be themselves n hav fun enjoyin time
what else can i do 2 express where iv gone wrong
only if i knew how 2 put this in a song
id make sum of them green backs
n then mayb it b worth what iv turned on in my past
i lost a god i could neva c
n it ok cuz i can c what this life means 2 me
like i said i was jus tryin 2 find my way
n i took the wrong road sumhow n wound up here 2day
seachin 4 those happy tears
holdin a new luvr who seesm 2 hear
me wit out sayin a thing
mayb i can giv in 1 day n slip a ring
if i could jus disectin every in my way 2 where im goin
funny thing is idk where im headed or what im doin.