daydreaming at night...

it would be nice to hold someone every now n again... just laying still n talking, attempting to become more than friends... in the silence of arms where only heartbeats live in content... it would ease the mind from all the wonders that could be more frequent... just to believe again would be a miracle to say the least... as the lonely feeling comes around to fuck with the mind keeping it free well deserved dreams... where's the hope that needs no words to create a feeling more than worth the extra effort to let someone know they're welcome to stay.?. to laugh n roll over the bed like lil kids lost in the moments tasting just one name... allowing self to open up without picking another apart seeking a will to enjoy natural intent... it would be great to resurrect the emotion settled into the nerve where it feels it's safest n most content... as it's the memory that reminds what's been hidden beneath the smile where life forgets it is still going on... triggering desire to throw a spark to ignite a reason to look up for a different kinda norm... in a new reality where there's another face that gives a lil more purpose to the rotation of days landing in the middle of nights... fading into the darkness as if neither need the sense of sight... able to grasp the realness in a mood never to change... it would be something to actually meet that one who never turns away from uses that need not be tamed... coming around to just kick it until the inevitable sneaks up on the evolution of passion in tuned with the thrill... with on foot in front of the other wanting to make it happen so thoughts can finally be filled...

join the flock...

why do u believe ur so much different than the rest.?. what makes u so unique when everyone jus like u claims to be the best... giving ur all to someone who jus threw it away... n now u don't wanna hear anyone call our ur name... as u hide behind a line of bs n smiles forced to make others believe ur alright... u must be new or still hung up on the bitterness bestowed upon u here in life... n it doesn't look good on to allow what was linger in ur every thought we all can see... we've all been there yet u like others demand for the rest of us to go along with the self righteous freedom u tend to need... knowing we starve for some sorta attention even when we act like clowns.. yet if someone was to get close enough to touch u would u stick to what comes from ur mouth.?. living a well preserved life where emotion ain't worth a fuck... when the silence in the middle of the night tells on u n how u refuse to trust... but i bet it be nice to have someone to hold here n there huh.?. without rushing into the feeling of falling back in luv... we ain't so much much different in the way we go on about our way... some of us can admit it as it ain't no ones business as some remain afraid... turning another page day by day acting as if they're better off than what they truly are... running from the memories long enough to where new ones are needed to believe in the heart... u havta realize we're all in a process in which chapters are written a lil different but the story sounds the same... so what character are u portraying to be trying to find some kinda worth.?. bcuz even i used to be so many other things before i found these words... asking u of ur own angle to a life u live... why do u feel ur so much different like we ain't shit.?. jus bcuz u have or are finding a new u once again... we're not ur enemies but jus some common folk like u trying to make a stand...

as real as it gets...

if my words stumble over my tongue, will u ever forgive my silence lost in a dream.?. as i know u are the one listening for my voice that somehow doesn't sound like me... believe me if i get scared i don't meant to resist the urge to hold u tight... there's jus things i do not trust that i'm coming around to allow someone back in my life... jus wanting to ease in as slow as time will not mimic my past... to be able to reason with u as we make our way through the sighs that eventually gasp... don't be alarmed if i come at u a lil different that all the others have n do... i'm somewhere else in my head taming my emotions so a friend can find me n put me to use... opening me up is the hardest thing to do when i know what i want... n for what i see i'm in no rush to ruin what could very well be like evolving into a rare kinda luv... i don't mean u no harm is i mute intent ... it's jus so i know for sure who stands with me as life is spent... this world is so chaotic it's difficult to tell one loon from the next... n if u ever feel me holding back, jus believe i'm no fool n move with precaution to obtain the best... not as in perfect but for comfort to settle the nerves... it's not easy attempting to create a honest worth... as raw sensitivities are at stake that don't heal so quick.... there's so much more to relations than the tenderness of a kiss... so by chance i don't seem to be with it n ur questions arise... i'm jus doin my damndest to give to u what i have inside... hidden away to be released like a time capsule waiting to be placed in ur hands... as simple as the basics can be show to the naked eyes in which the way i stand... i'm jus one individual willing to see where things go... to witness age claim the face so neither of us will ever by choice live alone...

At peace...

The best music has no lyrics...

Like a heartbeat that's free from lips...

Playing to the soothe of a rhythm...

Easing the details within ones system...

Untouched by twisted tongues...

Without verbal control capturing the hush...

Jus listed to the flow of ones own life...

It's ok to fall in luv with what u find...

Create motion through sound...

N live with the comfort of closing the mouth...

Let the harmony lead the way...

Putting an end to emotions tamed...

Able to enjoy self for once...

Can u hear the noise silence the chaos of the rush.?.

Vibinv to the feel of what can't be said...

Feel it orchestrate a new pulse going left...

Hearing thoughts ride a masterpiece as it breathes...

Allowing even dreams to be free...

Anything can come to life with a tune...

Moving with a melody put to use...

In no need of a song to claim its sway...

Jus being in a moment of ones own gain...

In sync with what one perceives...

Like the breeze blowing through the trees...

blah blah blah...

hold tight ur reasons that help ur comfort live safe n sound... but don't make too many rules for they will pick everyone else apart as self gets lost n unable to be found... tricking the mind into a disbelief of the lies told in mirrors that only mimic a prior pain... stand for what will make u n disregard what u know will break u down in so many ways... yet know if u believe everyone is the same... you'll find a lonely road of insanity bouncing off walls calling out ur own name... have ur list of what it'll take to open back up... jus don't go overboard with nonsense n stick to what u know u can truly trust... from a lesson learned to the evolving factors that have matured... don't become a prisoner within for it's a different place felt to be so insecure... living in the dark for sleep is something set to the side... all bcuz one chooses to dismantle another to be right... as if a haha is a need to show everyone no one is real... don't hide for too long for it gets harder n harder to feel... even if healed the peace n quiet settles nerves unwilling to come undone... chasing off anyone having an interest in removing the gloves... you'll find a friend will havta turn away every time... so lighten the load n simplify the list for potentials to ease ur mind...

resurfacing...

it comes back to the feel jus beneath the skin with a linger wanting to live... giving thoughts peace to come together from the scattered mind shook yet no longer lost in the rambling of lips... n the wanting of a kiss is to hush the nonsense that builds into a silent crave... remembering what it is like to enjoy another pressed against the chest unable to recall any pain... hearing a familiar voice that shares a luv more than willing to adapt to life... evolving in the same direction as emotion eases the smile to lift so high... as the empty feeling of having no one is filled with hope so ready to resurrect pieces hidden within... seeing the light in another's eye shine like a twinkle when self steps into the sight baring grins... yet it ain't until comfort settles on nerves that one can begin to accept how much more fun there would be with someone else... hearing honest tones behind closed doors bounce off the walls n come back needing something felt... knowing how much the heart wants to give a chance to trust once again... for it does have a real sense of expressions it demands to use before the end takes the ability to find that gain... apologizing to self for waiting so long will appear in the dark... making every lil lie told in mirrors see as a way to cover the disbelief in others when the truth is we all come full circle to wanna play the part... to witness a new face trigger reason of why not loosen up... it'll return to the sooth of dreams once the head clears itself from the fairy tales that no longer leap from the tongue... having an ability to claim details tucked away for better moments where reassurance is a thing... recalling the connection in between that creates a mood worth the temptation to thrive with a certain sensitivity that clings... from outta nowhere a single thought will unlock the vault of secrets where pleasure resides in their rawest form... forcing the rethinking of compatibility to admit how self jus wishes to protect a stable sense of norm...

the discomfort in walking away...

falling away n feeling the guilt self doesn't deserve... once the situation forces the issue which friend actually didn't have the right amount of worth.?.  one attempting to give a chance without doubt... n the other who hid details that emerge to no longer having their presence around... both having interest in willing to see where life would go side by side... if they can just make it through the getting to know phase that determines life... when finding monsters unsettled in moments feeling a pause in the heart... the mind goes through thoughts on what's best hearing the blaring of alarms... over looking the red flags always comes full circle when fingers point at the innocent one... with patience in wanting to believe fails to show what's truly needed to carry on with luv... emotions get attached even when they are held back so self doesn't get hurt... it's the comfort in being near someone that tends to grow with metaphorical birds that try not to flip up a chirp... all due to one or the other hasn't corrected a thing or two that is vital to the well being of the mind... something over looked by most claiming to be real enough to lie... believing they're to be accepted as is without fixing a left hook that swings from the blindside of hope... one begins to remember after spending time with another that cannot maintain, why it's alright to be alone... yet, as that image causes unwanted pain in a good way one can feel sanity loosing its shit... it's bothersome to know the struggle to meet someone with common interests is so fuckin hard when someone unknown who gets it exists... to have a mutual like to things without the baggage of dead ends is the goal to enjoy passions fully alive... but it comes around that faces change for reasons so self can get past the hype... in the drift back to the way things were prior to that first hello is the hardest part... never to see the outcome play out in a way where no other arms would ever wrap around a work of art... a nerve is touched by the involuntary decision to remove self from an equation that won't turn out so good... the reality grabs a hold of the basic functions that are triggered by a fear with a different look... from a far as memories are stored safe is the in between of them being scattered here n the there... shook by rational logic another one is to be forgotten as if self never fuckin cared... as the liability is sought out as a fault for leaving discomfort is blamed even though self knows the truth of why it must be... as bad as the connection is to be lost the peace within mustn't be disturbed for it is remain free... like the hand that felt another in the middle of a blink of an eye allowing the pulse to grow softer... patience is a necessity for one to come along to fulfill an empty place that has been reconstructed with a lil dabbling within to comprehend what self has to truly offer... if fortunate enough to see fit of how one is another can be mature with a caring humorous side... maybe then desires can accept relations that never havta say goodbye...

alone with u, coming from within...

i couldn't help but to think of what a few hours alone with u could be... as my mind runs on pure adrenaline n sexual intent craving what we should set free... the attraction alone is something nerves untangle from... reaching for each n every ending wrapped around a night coming undone.. n there isn't a fuckin thing i wouldn't do to u to show u how bad of a thing i have for u... damn i jus wanna touch u as u gasp in the most erotic way as u put me to use... diggin into all those lil daydreams u don't tell any other so they can feel me pushing for u to explode... as i understand what to do with this overwhelming need to undress n please u when alone... tongue having its own tricks from the neck on down to inner thighs that create sighs wanting to live.. hands flowing long ur curves n gripping ur hips as it ur eyes the roll behind ur eyelids... the beast in me wants to play with u in ways 50 shades seems to be soft porn... n all i wanna know is when can we get involved so ur desires can be ravaged as an ongoing norm... for my curiosity caught a glimps of u barred in the nude getting it the fuck in... n i'll never be the same with this fire within that heats up to the shape of ur grin... our bodies can dance in a way they coexist with the mood that fits so snug... in motion n in sync with a groove harmonized by the pulse rushing to every single thrust... i can not lie when i say the enjoyment would prolly blow my mind... as that is the one thing i wanna cross before fingertips ease upon the fine hairs that soothe a tingle moving the spine... from the back to the front n dipping into a drop up n under the way u drip... u awaken something  deep within me i can't help but to speak on so i know if i have a chance to taste ur lips... kissed n made to loosen to the tenderness of real intent catering to the balance of being taken advantage of... mmm, jus to watch u submit so i can have a lil bit of fun...

Why should i.?.

Why would i wanna spend time with u.?. Then sit around with thoughts i cannot use... Missing someone who will tare me apart... Even though not being intentional is the fucked up part... As emotion wouldn't wanna levee my mind the fuck alone... Distributing my well being when silence is heard in the dialtone... Having to let go of something in another dead end... Jus to have to repair the memory of a new list friend... One who's gone n drifting further n further away in life... Why would i want u on my mind.?. To play peekaboo with the wonder of what was some sorta hope... Jus to infect the chest with hidden flaws... Knowing damn well u knew the details laid in ur palms... There's no need in pain unless secrets are not barred... N i don't like to be hurt so who in the fuck cares.?. Friends before foes fail with false interactions... Where would i be if i let u in to lie about red flags infractions.?. To submit to what i do not know... Believing in all ur hyped up demands i can't help buy to think are whoas... It ain't u bcuz it's everyone else saying they're not like u... The same way u claim ur so different so eager to prove... In what sense should i consider the joy to be tampered with.?. As the stranger in me ain't so quick to embed u into my wits... Some shit is jus sacred until a guarantee presents itself... So why should i give u moments of my life that jus may go unfelt.?.

naturally...

only if one could alter a few things to make shit work... knowing no ones perfect it would be so nice to let the heart feel worth... fuck living with a heavy heart having to walk away... even though there are details in each n everyone's design that triggers the ugly to become untamed... jus to reconfigure a piece here n there... allowing another to speak on what it would take so the heart can truly care... yet, true origins from deep will never come to the surface to play... always hidden until one day outbursts feel a need to reconstruct the gestures upon the face... with there being certain attributes that rub nerves the the raw ends of wrong... causing a sensitivity to live with a feeling of always trying to get along... as others cannot see what has not happened as of yet... missing the point of seems woven hasta have some sort of pattern so the comfort can snuggle to the pulse pumped from the chest... most never make it past a friendship that doesn't seem to go on... as from emotion the mind must pry them prior to self being torn... knowing the simplest touch from someone that has that spark has ignited a curiosity set free... jus to believe it to be a different outcome due to what words tend to leak... what if the correction could be shifted to the need of change that transforms another into what someone wants.?. not in an ex but in a reason to stick around bcuz one is safe wrapped in arms that trust... as the option is never natural so it must tic with time to find out... waiting with patience to witness a luv'r have characteristics self must live without... sucking beyond the expressions that follow the silenced tongues afraid to let them go... though in doing so it's felt as another loss as the mind roams alone... wondering if they knew what would shove the desire to want them away if they'd distribute to the struggle hope... n not jus go one with the flow that caters to someone else as false contributions are shown...

boom.!.

boom.!.  conversation goes back to having no one to talk to... right when comfort found what could just be that one friend... left shaking the head at the letting go of ends... knowing their face is gonna get lost in the crowd as contact is to loose trace... n even worse is their voice is to go unheard due to technicalities self isn't capable to embrace... boom.!. strings are cut loose... there goes another friendship redirected by actions that have come out to play... n the feeling of damn comes to terms with sighs so disappointed in the outcome of how tones shape names... when the closer one got the more the tingle came to have reason with a smile finding its way with life... becoming for  a brief moment a chance to show truths of how one conducts motion n thoughts out in the open baring the mind... boom.!. the let went down into another tale of how eyes looked beneath the skin... released by the same hands that felt the tenderness of use coming back around with grins... right about the time of waiting long enough so emotion could snuggle to a moment laid up with a lil more than hope... the chest cavity caves in form signals from the brain that speaks of the pain that is on its way so self must avoid the danger n remain alone... as tasting goodbye once again to save sanity from an other stare gone too far... the misplacement of what leans in disappears before  someone new can ever tare self apart... boom.!. there's an emptiness in the room...

mental health...

it ain't the emotion scared to be felt trying to get to know someone from the inside out... it's the losing of yet another friend if things don't work out if the mind doesn't learn to calm the beating of a certain thumping sound... thoughts linger in a loss that stir up pulsating pounds ripping desires apart... n it ain't until time eases on by that one can feel a lil normal once the attachments are cut from a far... it's the mental aspect of relations feared by those who find comfort in the maturity giving in... for passion itself taking to many blows by the lack of character others possess can rearrange a face from within... thought others may claim most are damaged which only speaks of the ignorance of diving into luv jus to feel something to carry on... unable to step back n evaluate a situation to comprehend if it is indeed a good thing to go from strangers to creating something along the lines of homemade porn... comforts ain't a linger in the chest wanting to explode upon contact with a sexual preference saying hi... but the fact of the matter or two individuals actually coexisting in a harmonic vibe... so to say people are petrified of opening up needs to be clarified as which mindset folks obtain... there's nothing worse than the tingle turning soar as chaos leaps from tongues to destroy any n all pieces of self confidence jus to pretend self is a so called saint... n it becomes unattractive to dug up depths to so many others that never stick around... as the isolation truly becomes a sigh of relief knowing the safety of ones own thought process is well intact... it ain't about the fixations eyes cling to for hormones to get a rise... nor the lack there of to wanna fuck here n there that causes a string to begin a pattern with another that is said to be about fuckin time... the stillness in the head is key to attempting what so many fail to be able to grasp... yet who's to say who is wrong for trying on a smile to see how long it'll last.?. picking at the beast chained to the inner makings so no one gets hurt... there's a reason the restraints ain't coming off for a stranger that bypasses real worth...

conduction...

how would u be able to be the maturity i need so i don't havta sound the alarms.?. jus by being u in the way u comfort chuckles in a world jus getting along... n collaborate with actions to make sure my mind is in no harm... able to be as real as truths listening to more than tones as motion sways with intent wanting to belong... what of emotion waiting to do more than hope for a friend.?. who are u as u come in the moments yet to be seen.?. opening me up with expressions that hold every word spoken... able to conduct outside of thoughts that linger on facts n no other false dreamt up dreams... where do i fit in to ur daily routine adjusting to be held.?. without rearranging the basics of ur smile that took this long to raise on ur own terms... moving in a drift that tends to comfort use when sighs create what cannot be spelled... snuggled up to my side for a good portion of the remainder of life having a worth... do u crave the feel of the tenderness more or the mental aspect of touch.?. felt in ways passion triggers desires due the proof... tangled up in the middle of the chaos that surrounds the mindset wondering of luv... can u comprehend the vibe reaching for a different outlook free to cut loose.?. hearing more than a heartbeat as the individual within would rather relate... playing with a humor so willing to jus be for relations to finally evolve from misfortune... will i be to u what u are to me if fingers were allowed to caress the face.?. on a no bs policy of having one another in mind when behavior is intact with a belief that there is no other fuckin option... is there a reason in the way ur eyes follow me through ur mind.?. whether it be a selfish need for yourself or a chance to give on another level where playful gestures are enjoyed... u see there's so much more than the tingle of things that make a guarantee understand why... so do u have the time to figure out what patience can adapt to to fill the endless void.?. in ur own space n with someone who has corrected what it is u wanna witness grow old... wondering of the content in ur mindset that plays out... knowing what's best for self on my end so i know how to come at u the way the give n take is never controlled... in a bigger picture of getting it in as hands not only lead but are led by having not one doubt...

snip snip..

feeling let down from time to time... accepting interests that wrap back around to remains with no one in sight... having to step back n recalculate the depths of a friendship truly sucks... jus to spent nights alone losing belief in others rushing a false sense of luv... as compatibility comes to a crossroad of what's good for the mind... so it can relate to the heart for its own good that the moving on is nothing more than a sigh... to release what was building a liking due to shit jus changes intent flipped... knowing it is what it is n it's gonna be a while before another attempt is allowed to reach n land for any type of rearrangement wanting to live... disappointment clings to nerves long enough to shake the brief feel of wanting to tenderize thoughts... to get in to the cat n mouse like game in the head jus ain't as fun when proof fails to maintain in the showing of flaws... accepting there's different levels of yes's n no's that are configured along the way... winding up turning attention to prior solo adjustments that are easier to help self feel sane... it's a shame to get so close n be forced to watch a good thing fade into jus another memory... as even convo becomes a tone redirected for it hasn't the same purpose as an added accessory... slowly the volume of voices go unheard while the tingle settles any discomforts that felt their way inside... insufficient expectation unmentioned delivers the snip of strings restricting thoughts to be free of restraints that bind...

it's having no one...

it's having no one to talk to due to everyone always falls through when they're supposed to be flush... n yet, every time the bottom of their words metaphorically allows expression to descend with so called trusts... leaving the tongue without someone to talk to as days are silenced by the hush... seems the loneliness tends to confront the comfort to know where self stands on luv... as emotion lingers on ones own sitting around confused by the lack of use discombobulating thoughts left to lust... thinking who can one turn to to simply speak of the day just spent feeling the fluttering of being what jus was... twisted n gutted as nuts n bolts shake loose from the well being of the mind's comprehension of what the mind believed what once was... flustered on the presence of drifting inward as frustration settles in to the solitude as a must... so tired of giving to a new face that becomes an attachment to smiles enjoying a lil time in a repeat of what comes to end prior to the understanding of taking moments wanting not to cuss... like, fuuuuuck.!. losing the feel of wanting the need of someone to ever get close enough to reach for a touch... it only turns passions against desires in a heart stalling out coming in from the slush... conversation jus isn't as fun with jus anyone smacking gums n babbling lips that bruise the texture of willingness n such... it's having no one to lean in to who makes a difference to the way the pulse races with excitement n rests with an ease that sets a mood made to remain clutch... 

Multilevel tingles n flings...

The first one was a lesson to never settle as round two with someone else was nothing more than a game i played... But we all at some point have a selfishness to gain... As the next one showed me it's ok to open up... Fell into an endless feel to come where i was willing n caught my first twist of having no sign of trust... Follow that up with true intent n how deep emotion can go i realized what's no good for me... I had to dig that one outta my chest as the burial was self inflected on her part setting me free... N in between that one n a repeat of similarities in a damn near identical being i could finally comprehend what tongues are capable of... Removing myself from dreams i had no business role playing as superman n gave up on the rush... N then there was how the recognition of luv'd ones was to be considered for relations to evolve... Complicated the walk took a turn to depart outta respect never to tamper with family as a problem solved... Revolving once again it all came down to having patience in the round about of the last one that clarified being alone isn't so bad... I tried to make a friend who like three of the ones prior to the temptation couldn't hold it together for a better cause that will go down as a story told in a tone so sad... Holding trust tight n wanting to believe in someone is a mental irritation even with all the others i cannot remember that never got close enough to feel me beneath my skin... Each helping shape a better version of me that has had enough of luv's bs leaving the memory with those i can recall tucked in the ribs... As focus truly zoomed in on what's best is a friend if they ever choose to understand everything is mental... Able to establish a rare maturity where desires n passions are safely embranced in the comfort of arms creating dimples... It took seven different tingles on mutlilevels n idk how many flings to wrap my mind around what matters the most... As individually very few actually had my curiosity willing to see where things could go... N as the days have come n gone life doesn't seem to be the same having to restart new beginnings that ended for me to ever enjoy... Missing pieces of where the heart was is what hurts the most when the walls cannot see the light living with a void... Overlooking the misfortune to getting on with life that refuses to wait on halfhearted bests... To hopefully rest with the earnings of actions placed into needed thoughts to remain as what cannot be taken outta the head... One by one they've been placed here as a whole as there was always something that drove a wedge... As i wonder who in the fuck can function with a natural sense of ahh within reason so the silent crave can relax as is... I paused to live a lil so it's me to be known even if others just can't come to enjoy the me i am after so long... Allowing the ashes to set for the wind to carry away all the lingering false hopes that need not be prolonged... Forever in tuned with my smile no matter the situation I'm in... I am only as picky as wanting my joy to shine so i too can relate to someone in sync with their grin...

get to the good stuff...

everything ends so lets get to the point... if there's something i should know let it be known... bypass the flutters of the new feel n come for my jugular... remove the crown n come down from ur throne... why waste time getting to what makes n breaks the bonds... hope never opens doors quite like understanding who's come face to face with the feeling that flows... cripple my thought early is the concept if u can relate... i have shit to do n the malarkey isn't on my agenda to make believe in a happy lil home... give it to me as if friends were to keep it real... show pieces of yourself so raw intent chuckles as moans roam... cripple the hype that wares off ever so fast... i wanna see u at that moment of wtf so i can adapt to the twist hidden yet to be thrown... don't butter me up for a kill to sooth ur selfish ways... make me a witness to something rare in its delivery n switch up ur tone... gimme truths as use awaits to counter punch... otherwise i could care less if u find luv or wind up alone...

chasing luv without a friend to be made...

into the skin they go...
sinking beneath the touch n go...
rushing emotion to feel them hooting demands...
then failing to reason with why should someone open to clinching hands...
they don't know what has settled under the surface gone unseen...
there's jus a high risk factor overlooked that somehow sets them free...
as time tells of twists that make or break realities...
n they wonder why their desires always drift into lonely night as if laid down as yet another fatality...
causing so much pain before relations can truly take off...
sitting around believing if they're not with another their passion is a loss...
left to crave each attempt as a linger in the heart...
unfinished intent motioning to grab a hold n never let go of the spark...
creating an issue of who's who playing gout as differences sets deep in the eyes...
from dead roses that's been plucked to hope floating downstream away from life...
the need instead of want confuses their well being of what's good n what creeps...
being nothing more than a moment in the mind as attachments readjust to silent nights that breed...
having to forget the comfort of a wanna be friend with their own battle within...
pretending how nothing matters all the while of motionless grins...
they chase luv by all means claiming to be different than most as they fade...
as mirrors find them staring once again without a friend to be made...

Fuck em all...

Fuck people n their hidden secrets... Faults n hardships teetering on lips yet to be announced... Let them battle is silence with their so called demons... It ain't worth the distance to be shown in times lingering to be denounced... Fake smiles hold the surface at bay... Drifting as far as the mirrors image can cuckle... Laughing at the use one tries to find in a friend claimed... As ownership os the last thing to ever fot the puzzle... People suck in their own self attempt to create a void filled... Giving off false signals where true intent should be... Dug deep into the curiosities reason to feel a thrill... There's no real expression to laugh with a foe thinking emotion is free... They only want self to feel the comfort in their own... Always talking sideways as if the truth is a besidea the point... Wearing their lies upon the misplacement of thrones... Catering to another long enough to flip realities into opposite directions in which two are going... People cannot be trustes past the individual beneath the seams... Contradicting their own voice spat out in the sounds if tone... Promising they're different than others lost in some sorta dream... N they make u feel home is a place where solitude moans... Failing to prove what is n what will never be... Occasionally floating back n forth in between getting their way n what has lost hope... So many cannot comprehend luv is a selfish game of gimme... Turning a thought of good intentions into another nightmare sitting alone...

The stray...

Awakening to the wonder of a lost cause... Feeling the misplacement of comfort climb the walls... As one face after another ain't the one... Knowing the heart is to suffer if it we're to open to a false luv... It seems strange beds cannot capture the ease of home... Going from one luv'r to the next something is missing when not alone... As eyes notice the surroundings one jus does not belong... Sitting in the dark in someone else's linger trying to get along... Self jus wants to leave so the sinking of emotions doesn't reach... To fall short of ever getting in as the hurt is not mine to teach... The fuckin boundary of friends being crossed scared off trust... As lanes weave in a blur merging likes n the expectancy of luv... Only having so much time before the release sends them away... As thy feet get to stepping back with a directional turn to remain sane... Loosening the grip of sleepovers that should have never taken place... But to up n go in the middle of the nights is a cowards escape... As their hands touch the skin that creates anxiety ready to run... Oh the unfortunate twist of having no use in laying flush... For the attachment isn't a desire needed to having someone always around... The clingy restraints claims the freedom of the mind losing its ground... As still as not wanting to awaken what sleeps less than inches from me disappearing for good... N nah, in them i cannot find the joy needed to even look... No depths favor my curiosities to ever take part at sharing life... Jus moments that grow old even though I'm blind... Allowing good ones to land in palms jus to slide through fingers that let them go... Like water if it was to continue tears would flow... So the cutting of strings come sooner than thoughts could ever regain... Once gone it's forever as regrets will remember the fear if being trapped by anger burning flame... Lit in the dark for me to see where i must not be... Unable to sleep here i jus want my own dreams...

confronting truths...

baring truths...
it's such a funny thing...
how does one admit what they hide.?.
as times surface from a place where one is so afraid to breathe...
feeling removed from a norm once known...
trying to figure out thoughts from emotions that conflict...
looking off into the distance...
to the horizon of days where sense is so far fetched...
forced to keep a move on...
hushing unwanted phases so they fade from the mind...
pounding to be reached in the most sensitive moments known...
as the silence finds the dark where the heartbeat resides...
thinking there just isn't any fuckin hope...
cool with living out life with the solitude that confronts the smile...
able to do whatever n whenever one chooses...
tucking the unforgettable temptations up the sleeve to lose along the way...
awaiting the settling of the calm to ease from behind the eyes in an escape claiming truces...
as the blur won't help remember what isn't deserving to walk with one on the deuces thrown...
having self as a copilot to soar from here to there...
landing long enough to catch a feel of where a meal is worth the eating...
with the patience of birds mated in a due process of eliminating unnecessary tares...
giving a chance to honest use playing out...
freeing details into motions to be seen...
when is one to know when it's ok to end the drought.?.
crossing back over to entertain another's willingness to advance further than lonely daydreams...
kept warm behind doors that unlock true intent...
wiggling the tongue to speak from beneath breaths sighing for a change...
leaning in to a bit of belief... 
walking through walls that become transparent from their figurative state...
finally pure...
when the end of trust wraps back around to the reality of opening up...
shaking off the flurries that rippled from the drowning of self...
washed back up on the shores knowing how deep one can swim before goin under the surface of luv...
will confronting truths comprehend for once that life must go on.?.
to regain the balance of the teeter that fell to the weight carried...
reemerging from a loss within where it wasn't someone else that wasn't present for so long...
no longer buried...
ready to be happy again...
allowing arms to close in on the torso with a squeeze...
face to face with the truths applied to gain peace confiding in a friend...
with a chuckle that triggers a smile creating a sound that comes out like hehe...

mindless hearts...

one gets tired of giving everything to others when the want it... start holding it in for self's own mental health... as heartless as it my seem the cycle is vicious to hear how everyone is so much different... yet unable to understand why emotion doesn't come as free as they  throw their own passion around as if they're jus trying to help... n when the comprehension relates to sex is better to allow than desires of feelings jus wanting a friend most shun the thought... thinking to body is the temple though it's the well being of a peaceful place within... living as is becomes a way of life for maturity attracts the real ones able to slow to a pause unlike time so flawed... gaining the true depths of stability so smiles interact with the feel of grins... one comes to retract from societies ways when the determination of happiness is the key... done with the rush of child like crushes demanding to be luv'd or else... damn near presenting a fairy tale before the eyes like reality is to step aside to dreams... those that are taught from a young age of ignorant patterns overly felt... 

fake is the exchange of hearts if it's the initial hope... overstepping boundaries before an honest use can even have a purpose... creating a false sense of what relations is by expecting the lack of compatibility will never leave them alone... triggering side effects affected by the mindsets gone empty due to self righteousness that is nothing more than worthless... one sits after so long willing to live for once... refusing to listen to the same ol bs whether or not any other really is legit... with no harm no foul as the tongue speaks no lie of intent never to blush... claiming the very thing the emotional type want to pluck from ones wits... freedom... needing to capture its essence... having the thrill of having another around so life won't be as lonely as boredom... the force of it all one knows is jus too fuckin intense... to bare the inner makings is put on hold to evolve into the clarity of lips flipping tones... spoke to the point of interactions waiting on the mushy drift of a parasite in the mind's world... with a patience one cannot cater to the gates swinging open exposing thy home... with birds that twirl...

silent thoughts...

what if i wasn't a hard azz but i felt i could use someone like u.?. i'm jus talking but there's some real shit in my words that haven't yet come to... only if u knew what my eyes wanna see in my dreams come out to play... maybe then you'd listen to how i feel of wanting to be that truth expressed upon ur face... i ain't much but i give life what i have to give... loosening to the notion that it won't be to late to let u know my heart wants to live... as there's things i've been hiding from those closest to me... knowing you've been in my sights yet i don't believe i fit the type u seek... maybe the wrong shade or even a thought never taken in my direction... i don't know the terms in which u feel must be to give me a take... looking me over to consider an interest for a bit of affection... being a stranger with jus enough curiosity to create some magic finally awake... if i wasn't on ur list of possibilities how could i enlist.?. to show u what it is ur missing out on... chasing what u feel is nothing more than hands once again balled up in empty fists... as what u do not know is if i was to open up it would be u to receive my luv worn... if it ever were to be... crushing i have been for some time... in the shadows where no one pays attention to sighs needing to breathe... only if i had u in my life...

lacking the comprehension...

what's that in ur eyes.?.  that stare i'm trying to avoid... don't lie... why is it u wanna go beyond the void.?. n why is it i don't believe it will last.?. as if a phase controlling the moment... hoping more than anything to dive into the splash... as hinges swing to doors open... watching me move with a beat created in ur heart... please don't do that thing so many do... rushing the empty to unload emotions upon demands from the get go of the start... as the twist hurts before friends ever bare a truce... head over heals isn't to be comprehended as the flip flop of quicksand...  sinking into sights as a physical attraction... made to believe everything is luv at first sight... getting used to the familiarity of attachments... catering to the linger of uncertain minds... who is it u seek in me.?. wanting to give u some sorta comfort in return... needing passion to accept what thought hasn't been able to confirm as next nominee... as dreams force temptation into believing in worth... where do i fit in between thoughts running around inside ur head.?. unable to understand there's a difference in what ur used to n me... feeling before ever getting to know i luv u when allowance is an art so dead... demanding to be something that should be free... touched by use in a way timeless sighs as a must... what is it u want from me jus trying to live.?. n what is it u know about trust.?. having what kinda melody to vibe hushed at the jibs... who am i to satisfy the crave u seek to be fulfilled.?. a stranger u don't even know... a hidden secret within my own giving those sexual chills... why is it me u think u wanna hold.?.

full circle...

swerving in n outta lanes... crossing lines... boundaries over stepped... limits pushed... trying to figure out what's what... no rhymes needed... catchy phrases having the lack of relevance... attempting to configure a mindset that makes some sort of sense... life... short n sweet in its confusing state... turns develop... patterns create an abandoned way of life... changing... rounding out somewhere else... on the other side... trying not to look back... never to be sucked back in... grips release to the tightening of emotional pain... healing somewhere of in no mans land... thinking of how to correct self... moving to a different beat... loosening to a new phase... becoming the evolution needed... smiles transfer from one thought to the next... looking around at unfamiliar faces...finding comfort in a truce... feeling life move within... wanting to live... accepting how things play out... lost to found...

If i was doin me n craving u...

If my heart didn't wanna fall in luv... Would it be me ur fingers wanted to touch... Knowing u couldn't reach for me through ur best sex..  As i ain't looking to meet any of ur clingy demands hidden in texts... Could u take me for what it is n try n maintain.?. Keeping ur emotions at bay so it's not my sanity that feels restrained... For i only come out to get a taste of the kink u don't let jus anyone dig in to... As friends are able to be what remains so the failing of expectations isn't the obvious removed... If i jus wanted to be as is with whatever comes natural to intent... Where would u fit into jus gettin it in with breaths ready to do more than vent... Grasping as lips suck in air to catch life pouring from pores... Down on knees as the eagle spreads for the release of the depths flowing up upon ur shores... If i wanted nothing to do with passion other than in a sexual sense... Would u feel me penetrating u or slip to the side for my eyes to focus in on putting up ur fence.?. Believing me to be nothing more than a fuck wasted in the wind... A nut unable to land on ur hormones bursting to a different kinda freak breaking free from within... As the one worth so much more than my potential portrays me to be... How would u envision where i'm coming from from a single standpoint living in the comfort of solo dreams.?. Only in need of a lil tlc so time doesn't go without the physical attractions bared to the display in the nude of take me as i am... If i wasn't the same thing u were taught was in the form of a man...

The constructive type...

Have u ever wondered what it's like to have someone know who u are without a hitch.?.
Like, u would like to hear them narrate who u are with an ease that captures sound loosened at the jibs...
As if they were closer than comfort as it felt so fuckin good...
Creating a voice other than ones own to speak when the silence had a new outlook...
Giving self a representative when others tongues roll behind the back...
As face to face they're the same mofo to keep it real enough to maintain a respectable friendship keeping to the facts...
Whether it be right or wrong they see, everything in between is jus that...
Defending n correcting actions n tones all the while of never being afraid to tell it sitting naked in a bath...
Has the thought ever took a stroll behind the eyes n wondered of the feeling of true intent one jus hasn't seen.?.
To be touched in a way depths bare themselves with repeated motions showing character in which their delivery was clean...
No matter if at fault or on some goofy shit simply wanting more...
Having truths to thrive together jus wanting to hold on...
Not once to ever hear words in a demeaning manor where being torn is not an option so use can come from the core...
Does the curiosity ever awaken u tugging on ur hopes of knowing the feel of not having to go o war.?.

it's ok...

who is it u think u are.?. believing ain't no one worth ur heart... all bcuz u have a pour taste in luv'rs... claiming it's a friend u want none the other... treating people like they are too needy due to u keep getting hurt... when u ain't shit yourself other than some empty azz words... with an attitude aimed at interests as if everyone is ur fuckin ex... as the truth to be told u jus miss the kinky sex... knowing who you've been with ain't one the same page as self... no good for ur own yet u hang on to ripples still flowing upon the shores of ur heart causing fear to be felt... jus be honest about how the magic slipped from ur mind... finding yourself turned off by emotional connections for some time... for the attachment ain't something ur willing to deal with jus needing to live for once... rather to have someone actually like u than to hear another through around the carelessness of luv... can u be real so u ain't going to waste moments others don't have to replace.?. or is it u like the attention to make yourself feel good so u play the game of the tease with a heartless smile stretched upon ur face.?. 

At peace...

Jus don't interrupt the piece I've already found... Disturbing it will dismiss the thought of u from unwanted bouts... So swing not at what's presented before u as if I'll allow u to complicate my life... I've come to become content with the silence ok which i hide... It's nice enough to live without the pain relations bestow... There's jus no need in feeling twisted due to over emotionalizing ropes... Bound for the restraint to claim one jus wanting to get along... We'd never get far enough to accept our hearts can't go wrong... As real as words slip into sound I tell u not to be so selfish as to think ur the only one giving in to shine... N I refuse to partake in anything that picks at my piece of mind... Jus be a friend with attachments that fulfill the thrill... N u n i can possibly mingle as truths spill... Rare n raw in true form allowing things to ease on by... There's no rush to feel what comes n goes quicker than smiles can reach for the sky... Pause before ur feelings get in the way... It may help u get closer than any other demanding what is never as free as stating in ones lane... To remember the human within that doesn't wanna be disrupted by another passer-bye gone wrong... Exhaling on the relief of backing off due to the urgency of pain coming on too strong... Don't disappoint yourself n the magician won't disappear  form ur sights... Witness the realness that refuses to fade from my worth n time itself can give a lil to the memory held tight in the middle of the night...

jus past midnight...

the funny ones die once the lights go off seeing shit in the dark... unable to hide is the truth of an empty room closing in on the heart... confused on how the days can disguise emotion the way it does... when nights tend to bring out every lil glitch beneath facial expressions jus bcuz... the clown fades into the shadows where laughter can no longer be heard without sounding eerie asf... as time slows to endure a repeated determination to remember everything of no use as ashes turn up dust... the linger settles jus past every evening once the head touches the pillows ease... as sleep is one thing so hard to come by as the goofball loses a smile to the lack of sleep... dragging the heart down a road of wonders n fear... the mind won't stop spinning long enough to rest its grinding gears... for the humorous one that doesn't show how life has taken its toll is crippled laying in bed... hopes to awaken in a morning where chuckles can show everyone it was jus a dream fed...

zipper lips...

felt... but silent to the hearing of words falling outta the mouth... needing help... wanting more than a reason of attraction to say what the heart feels as use cannot be put into sound... found... it is emotion rising from hidden contents looking to live... but how.?. dreams cannot approach reality of such a beautiful motion without a lil stickiness clinging to the ribs... feeling hope... wrapping itself around my mind so its contents can settle down... taking notes... watching how the curves of a body can deceive intent if deeper depths isn't ready to stand proud... held... n holding on to a friend worth the pieces coming together to form vibes... pulsating to the melt... lighting the passion's wick to find a way to the sweet spot simply living life... hello... whispers never reach the walls surrounding what's not known... as non existent echos... as thoughts ramble of a duet that speaks in silence of everything yet to be shown... wasted... hushed to awaken with desires running through the mind... in a moment fearing the outcome in which is over rated... opening up... slowly easing into sights for a lil bit is a good thing... likes n luv... goin with the involvement to care with the swing... leaning in... feeling the tone of flutters floating in the air as a stranger seeks to evolve... dreaming big... believing in what could be a problem solved...

as i am...

would u remember me if the heat turned into a battle losing composure... if expectations rose to fall at ur feet bcuz i chose to be me instead of a version concocted soon to round out into closure... can i jus do what it is i do prior to judgements drilled into my ear.?. u see, i felt sure things crumble to the touch due to others tugging on tears... feeling a lil to much of an image when it was i that went unseen... forgotten to a silhouette i had no business trying to conduct myself as as time loosened for me to breathe... i'm not anything u can think up to fulfill whatever it is created in my place... avoiding the truths that make me who i it is i am for i only have one face... n i wear it everyday so the one in the mirror knows me more than anyone else... so i ask, if u don't mind collaborating a few things so clarity can unfasten its belt... for a ride is not needed to wind back up at the beginnings once chasing the ends of silly lil demands... in remembrance of the good times weighed down by the chaos of being picked apart by ur very own hands... to replace pieces of me with parts more familiar to u... removing my desire to mingle with someone who doesn't witness my use... are ur eyes closed to the facts that i come as i am.?. will u still want me in the middle of relations where comforts support the wanting need of mmm mmm damn.?.

taught to witness...

falling down n getting back up... taking loss after loss n still ale to remain clutch... having a drive to be able to stand without another blow sweeping away at the knees... gaining all that's been lost with a lil time to find a balance to all the late night dreams... crossing over to where the struggle cannot be hands on... accepting how life changed n luv'd ones are no longer a part of what used to lay on the floor... worth is found in the rise when able to see faces for who they are... redirecting the flow awoken within the heart... as the mind continues to push for a better way... remembering what eyes couldn't see as pain... looking down upon the back reaching for the sky... arched by the heartbeat to lift self back to life... without those who did nothing but talk... slitting their way outta the presence to come forth when the rain stopped for a quiet walk... self defined comes to be what is needed the most... losing faith in hope of others whispering in shadows where they can remain a ghost... the bottom teaches things the top will never understand... when the feet seemed to be stuck in the sinking of quicksand... without a stick thrown to rescue a friend fading fast... one will truly appreciate the learnings of how people can sling others names so fast... as patience in the grind to float on the surface in their minds... dead relations are as official as tongue that spoke of untruths now known as how time unwinds...

Unwanted diversions...

Jus leave me be... I'm not trying to feel ur lonely dreams...  Nor fulfill the space abandoned in ur heart... I jus want to be left alone as i drift with embrassions that form my own scars... Remembering the turn of events that changed my face... I'm okay with who I've become as of late... Sitting in the comfort I have that I had to build all by myself... No I do not want to be felt... I'm fine with emotions that confuse the mind... As ur no different no matter of how u speak of ur so called shine... N I don't care to confide in such passions wanting so much more than I'm willing to give... To feed ur own ego, I'm not interested in treating ur lips... I jus want a moment of silence to live for once ... Without all the constant talk of useless luv... As even being liked is no longer a thing to be thought... Jus go on about ur way so I can remain in a familiar pause... Tempted by the money that drives me to get my own... Or can u not comprehend it's not u that gives me hope... Do I need to lie to get u to move on with ur worth.?. Or is it that being straight forward will perceive intent ending ur attempted turn.?. I ain't in need of a friend for I've found myself... The one I can count on when life could've find any help... So believing in ur briefing is besides the point... I've done heard it all before n would rather feel the void...

Lost...

When everything changes... N nothing is the same... Getting used to something new isn't as fun... Lost behind closed doors listening to the silence hushed... Somehow jus wanting the norm to touch the heart... So the mind can stop bringing up old scars... As yesterday one felt so much more alive... Tendencies await a sign of passion to see if self can come back to life... Aching for some sort of break to snap outta the drifting feel... Giving a sigh a chance to be something real... In the dark boundaries are made n feared to cross... In moments there's a comfort in what some call lost... Broken n even ruined by a redirection of hope... Not knowing where to turn other than inward that creates a solo act state of mind... Forgetting how it feels to live for the smile to shine... When life itself switches course... The sense of the loss of what was sit on the doorstep of depression enforced... Sitting in a lonely room with walls bared... Constantly taring self apart as the belief is no one fuckin cares... As the music is the only comfort that can reach depths dug so far down hands cannot be lent... N the land is a bounce that hurts the face that isn't allowed to vent... N jus sucking it up is essential to keeping everyone else away... Afraid of what could transfer from one to the next... To heal is to climb from the sorrows of a collapsed past needing desperately to stand erect... To overcome the twist that snapped the mind free from restraints holding self back... Driven by an emotional dismemberment that holds limits at the end dangling as if scraps... A feeling of uselessness takes control of what one believes in the mirror as lies... Having to face this world without the one thing that forced the cutting of ties...

luv's submission...

the tenderness of her passion of jus wanting to feel alive is a treat if there ever was one... loosened to the sensitivities of her touch my skin craves her nerve opened to my luv... tempted to tease a source of pleasure before our clothes ever come off... it's her i cannot resist as my heart for her has something so raw... playing out before my eyes capturing the image of life willing to be had... looking at me as if there is no one else to ease thoughts crawling the mind with my sharing her lily pad... set on an emotional guarantee reaching for me no matter the situation coming to light... creating a desires unmatched by what is no longer an option for everything else has lost its hype... n as she leans in to me i soften for her to land... face on my bared chest so nothing is ever in between us in some sort of dreamland... catering to sighs that know we have it to share as luv has broke free from likes... without a doubt there's a trust unmentioned for we've found our type... one that's stop to claim a real thing awaiting a lifetime of trembles felt by fingertips... vibing to our own rhythm as our true intent is tasted upon honest lips... going deeper than nights ever shall allow two to come undone... with bodies exposed n pressed against the purist understanding that the longing is to fulfill words hushed... listening to how the connectivity lingers on a bounce of the walls... it's her that completes the missing pieces within as further we cannot help but to fall...

Crippled within...

Less than what's seen by others is a contradiction within self that defeats morall... Having to fight to believe worth is more than a feeling to live in the now... Never good enough weighs on the mind causing emptiness in the heart... Unable to convince the mind the ache is necessary so life can scrape off the char... Yet what's left is a depth so deep depression hides behind humor trying to fool the one on the mirror... Breaking in places cracks separate use of positive vibes reaching across the distance due to fear... Mentally drifting on thoughts of self isn't much but it's all one has... So the best of the war has battles won n lost struggling to evade a feeling of being so fuckin sad... Swimming in solitude's lonely puddles where fear dwells with its ball n chain... Held beneath the surface so no one can hear the sound of pain... In the feet go as the further down the toes sink by tugs needing more from below... Stripping the realization apart to expose there is no hope... Hidden behind the walls others run into when intent needs a door... There's a simmer of a flame damn near sizzling into smoke somewhere in the core... With jus enough light to shake off the restriction of over coming the end... Confidence barely clings to days wraping silent nights into mornings desperately begging to be self's best friend...

use gone to waste...

when u mean some shit n it goes unheard... as if another cannot witness the intent of worth... the pain hurts in ways words stutter into the air... felt deep enough to cut the heart from the chest so unfair... standing in plain sight so use can find a way... as luv isn't on both ends of hope clinging to expression leaping from the face... though if taken into focus the truth spills into tones... creating a disrespect that ends such a pure moan... transforming the release from a sigh into a grunt... as eyes watch the breaking of emotion like ties restrain depths crushed... n from putting self on the line, life itself is never the same... for where one believed they'd forever be jus changes as they escape... with a turn that speaks of a friendship that never truly existed... not the way lies ripped holes in the mind  in which was assisted... yet not the way thoughts played out when the belief was as good as it gets... wide the fuck open for the kill shot not knowing they were a threat... caught behind lines are the lingering pieces slowly to find their own way out... after losing the one person that gave comfort to what becomes the silence of sound... for the tongue itself was never bitten so luv could thrive... as unwanted as it was the twist becomes defined... careful to reason with temptations expecting self to be so free... purpose counters the switch up when trust fades from the lack of needs... wanting more than a emotional hole filled that always finds the bottom falling out... as they can't listen to how the thumps beat for their presence like wow.!

No true direction...

I don't remember a whole lot bcuz every day seems to be the same... With time that gets behind me... Separating me from what there truly is to gain... Fading with dreams... As the hidden ache I keep I jus want to hush in nights tossed... For being in luv with the solitude keeps intent to shut the fuck up... Alone is the mind drifting in n outta thoughts... I believe I'm running from luv... Finding every reason to force them away... At arms distance due to th comfort is pure physical... Knowing they'll get attached to what lingers beneath gestures upon the face... Wanting in to my personal place where the mindset is aphrodisiacal... For I am a lil different n could care less than to be bothered with a crush... Though i'm good with the way sighs are released into gasps... N It hurts them as I'd like to go deeper then the surface in which they touch... Spinning with the ticks it takes to loosen intent from anything other than sexual desires crossing paths... Scared of the sinking in is I the freak with no one  to spend lusts... I watch the rush in their eyes slowly give up on me hoping they would so go... As the dark calls to the memory of why I let each one of them slide from my fingertips like they weren't worth more then a moment laying flush... N I feel it wrapping around me needing a combo... To look at jus one as the package is intact... Motioning the okay to be felt before who hides within goes to waste... Listening to true lips curve words of how time has a purpose to gain an emotion to create a better past... Yet, I haven't been able to recollect a cause to reach for a friend to taste my name... It's fear that I create when I don't know where my heart is at... Numb until it wants to moan of how I think about giving it something to feel... So I reside in my own way forgetting why people want relations to save the luv jam packed... N I'm curious to know if I need to peel me form myself or if I have not healed... Bcuz it looks as if my clone in the mirror doesn't look at me the same way it used to... There's an emptiness that complicates life... A distance in between the head n the chest as if I'm due... Damn, Am I living a lie.?. Is it I could use another sooner than yesterday that had gotten away from my hands unable to hold on.?. Do I have in in me to admit I'm tired of craving the one thing I've never been able to have.?. I'm convinced I am torn... Put back together with pieces missing taring me into halves... So in tuned with the silence chaos cannot find me... Tucked into a sleeve only to be used as a toy to explore pleasure... As I jus don't wanna be what others demand me to be... Some kinda lost or rare dug up after being buried treasure... I can't recollect the tenderness it took to give me to someone with a smile that eased my days... Maybe I'm jus fighting it a lil to hard... As it's peaceful doin what it is I do when it rains... Having my guard down to hear the thunder pound as the lightning creeps along the sky with drops of water no longer from my eyes doin more than their part...

different...

U ain't her n she ain't u... Nor is she her or her she as this is true... each different with similarities that define ones own... yet to the naked eye there's no telling who's who with what's being shown... as words all seem to sound the same pumped into the ear... stirring up all the nonsense beneath all the cheer... as smiles resemble hope in eyes wanting to witness a common use... ur gonna havta truly show yourself for men are spooked... knowing every woman speaks of how they ain't like others yet are exactly the same... categorizing themselves like u when the tongue slivers of a gain... self righteous in ways mirrors do not see clearly of the person displayed... demanding to be accepted as men are to give into certain childish games... allowing emotion to step to the plate before likes can ever be tasted... most females do not realize luv is a side affect to what matters so wasted... crippled mindsets of gender roles are besides the point where reason should jus get it in... as individuals come from within to simply live... shedding the weight of how society has trained the thoughts to be... yet we as men also know most males play along jus to breathe... to feel ur physical presence cater to egos marking notches on the belt... claiming to be in tuned with what u claim as being felt... as he ain't me nor i him as even others are not his no my friend... i too say i'm different as ur sights seek clarity to blend... noticing tones in words that characterize unique sounds belted out... as even whispers tangle with winds carrying something worth listening to hoping there's something to be found... as u i defend my right to know who in the fuck stands before me wanting in... rambling off at the gums like ur someone special when my heart is held captive... hidden from ur touch until time comes n goes with moments that show a truce... walking from within self into a new light where truths can never be abused...