here.now

there's no goin back to the beginnings once the fire has been lit... we cannot correct intent as life plays out its twist... some things jus need to be put in place for the knowing of direction to come... for the truths will not allow the past to be anything more than facts we must trust... having a purpose in choices to create a tomorrow out on every fcukin day... having an importance to the way words match the eyes detailed design to maintain...easing back with patience to perform with smiles paving the way to where hearts wanna go... living on so much more than the uncertainty of hope... doin it all over again is not an option if minds do not comprehend the bond... as fingertips will come to feel the slip that finalizes relations lost... it takes moments now to even consider the thought of waking up in the same situation come mornings light... to roll with days gathered by weeks in months it takes to make years of a happy life... starting here with the exchange of words that are meant to better beliefs before ever being shown... never to force the natural affect of simultaneous tombstones... for there's a joy clinging to the walls with memories to be hung... in full understanding of what friends are before it's all said n done...

Be my crazy...

Be my fuckin nightmare... I'll be whatever it is u need me too be... Jus be fair... N breathe... Use what I have for ur beneficial gain... I'm at ur fingertips... N i wanna see ur tude at ur worst say my name... then commence to tasting it sucked from ur kiss... Twisting ur fear of being hurt into something beautiful... To embrace u along the way of u getting to know I'm here for life... So u can finally ease up to a slow drift  for I'm helpful... Able to feel things with a sense of hope in a stable mind...  Be my never ending daydream before me reshaping my smile... Carving ur name into the texture of my heart... Playing unselfishly in the mingling of merging lifestyles... Create a better sense of what luv truly is as i hold u in my arms... I have what u seek... Buried deep in my chest for u to come claim... Accept u like I have never felt any other as emotions leak... Over flowing to touch ur cheek with a stroke like kissing a flame... Burn me with the heat of passion so i am forever scared... So ur tucked in with the most sacred details of what makes me me... Lemme frustrate u a lil as it's my way of telling u i'm no one to fear... Show in plain sight as we move though life ever so free... Be my crave that cannot go without having u around... I'll allow u to in... Watch u kick ur feet up n make yourself at home like wow... I don't give a fuck where you've been... I jus wanna be the pieces u cannot seem to fit jus right... The thought alone is something my imagination toys with all day long... Taring u down to bare minimum so the wall can surround us inside... U see, i believe if it were u n I we could never go wrong...

the hidden grind...

I'd grind with u a lil more than slow as fuck... There'd be no fuckin like cn animal jus tryin to get a nut... I'd ease with the motion in tune with the closeness of ur trust... Loosened with a grasp of over u u crush... looking in ur eyes to intensify the thrill of having u in my life... claimed as mine... oh the feel of u as our skin touches would break my from my mind... bring the one person i keep a secret as i have reasons of why... as thrusts would mean more with my heart involved... loneliness with u is a problem solved... halting thoughts coming to life in a moment to pause... allowing night to collect how we get tangled up with a greater cause...with transparent walls that cannot resist the feel of devotion seeking ur sighs... i'm weak even though i aim to please the very soothe loosening to find... gathering moans as deep in to the darkness that i can reach for ur all as we grind... breaths panting from the passion flowing from within hype.. destined to take shape with u as one in the same... jus to hear ur softly whisper my name... opened to u as we roll around playing lil games... easing our way through how expressions changes thy face... taking my time down as low as m tongue can go... buried in between ur thighs as ur hands grip my head like a throne... listening to the sounds leaping from ur lips as i've found my home... from u there is a reason why i havta hide though i'll neva lose hope...

For her though...

I feel shit most say i shouldn't... Like a attraction of a woman who's taken even though i wouldn't... Yet the thought of her spread wide truly turns me on... As she's seeking the thrill of what she isn't getting  by acting out her desires in a homemade porn... But I'll never approach her knowing she sends happy in her own... As I'm thinking how lovely it would be to please her as age moans... I guess I'm a whore deep within with morals holding me off... Jus wanting ti feel on her body ever so soft... I wouldn't jus fuck herb I'd taste her skin... Oh how it's cherish the presence she creates within... Moving with the best of the heart goin at odds own pace... Showing emotion come to life upon my very own face... So in tuned with the sway of her hips moving to how i curl my tongue... Fuck, i need to stop before my mind begins to run... Though I'd luv to place my hands on her shoulders n ease her day... Putting myself in a situation where content finds comfort in her jus the same... Mmm, when i see her i cannot help but to wanna tell her what i have in mind... Oh bow my waot would be worth having her in my life... N howshe confess i either give a fuck... I'd do more than show her how my like of her is willing to groove with her luv... For u see depths smiling in tbe way she naturally is... I jus wanna waptch her live.... Crushing hard i stay to myself... Wishing her the best as she has no idea agrees felt... She's beautiful n I'm sure she knows... Only if she knew my appreciation of how I crave to get her alone... To express real proof of my own intent... I'd luv to exhale holding her as my heart is lent... Giving it a go to gain what it us i have stuck in my head... N it's not even about getting het in my bed... Worth a second coming of depths to be filled... Oh what an actual fuckin thrill... Let me have life loosen to the breathe taking hope... Though I've been drinking n the truth flows without being bit by how is gloat... Mmmm is so hard to come across someone wanna cater to... With the tone of her complexion that draws my truce... I havta remind myself she's someone else's n ti levee it alone... But fuck me if i can't help bit to allow my mind to roam...

looking up...

Imma look up one day with an opened heart...
Giving more than pieces unclaimed feeling the spark...
With a fire to warm hands touching my flesh...
To be felt somewhere around the time use comes with depths...
As the gates swing loose from hinges that need broke...
Falling for the sounds of sweet passionate moans...
I'll take notice in a passerby i cannot seem to do without...
Wanting the comfort of a friend as the pulse pounds...
Reaching for a presence that means more than words...
It'll come when i too enjoy a lil convo in the works...
When the head lifts n my eyes focus on a face...
Tuned in to the expressions as they say my name...
Able to drop my guard n live with another by my side...
Attached with the humor bringing me back to life...
In a moment of truth that there's no one else...
Accepting terms to who's best for self...
Having no resistance in what it takes to breathe one more time...
Moving tongues to the side to show movements can only be mimicked by rhymes...
Laying flush with desires set aside for a better cause...
Knowing if i had given in too soon I'd miss my chance to feel her in my palms...
For the secrets of me will be known of what I'm willing to do...
Calling out my reasons to gain a truce...
Proving the wait began with loyalty some time ago...
N the one to be will never again be alone...

I ain't the one...

You'll never get ur way with me... I won't feed into ur one sided beliefs... N i don't care to comfort ur selfish emotions... I simply refuse to put myself aside to give to ur so called devotions... Luv is blinded by what the heart wants... Devouring all other intent to keep the peace... As pieces are taken along the way to consume the greed... You won't be satisfied with the constant need... To be left with a wanting u cannot obtain... Craving me until u give up on the thrill of staying in my lane... That's what you'll havta get used to if u dare...  Just bcuz i do not care to play fair... To make sure ur precious lil thoughts are catered to isn't no interest of mine... Nor is it appealing to fall so deep you'll believe u can do whatever in the fuck u wanna do to my mind... So touch me if u think u have it in u to play... I ain't like others n there's no chance to begin the useless games... you'll never breach who it is i am... To claim me is not a choice for who it is before u doesn't partake to the concept of how u molded an image of a common man... stuck in ur head as to remind yourself that u can have ur way at will...  Yet that shit doesn't work on me so fuck ya feelings for u do not pay my bills... Your road to being spoiled isn't the path i wanna cross... I'm just as human as u with desires at a loss...  I need not hustled to be treated as if i do not exist... so listen carefully to the words coming from my lips...

i just wanna watch..

i just wanna watch...

to witness ur hands slowly slide with the suds...

knowing i'm gazing a the beauty u possess...

craving to have u flush...

noticing how u lather ur body...

playing with a tease...

barely able to see u through the curtain...

yet just enough to visualize u in the steam...

feeling ur way around every curve...

cleansing away to day...

making sure i get turned on...

softly whispering my name...

as u step into the flow of water from above...

rinsing the bubbles down...

just so i can sigh with how they cling...

listening for u to make a sound...

appreciating the grind of ur hips...

moving with a bend...

arching ur back...

exposing just enough of what's tucked beneath ur rear end...

as the blur hides what i cannot see...

i follow ur form...

visible like a shadow taunting me...

deliberately laughing as if a silhouette worn...

to enjoy u from a far...

as sight feeds thoughts...

bare naked n outta reach...

perfections finest without a flaw...

as u sway with attention...

giving lust a new name...

unselfishly allowing me to sit with patience...

i just wanna watch u bath n change the expression upon my face...

hoping to touch u when you're done...

to feel what my own eyes felt...

drifting with how wet u can get...

caught coming from the shower as my tongue licks where u melt...

dripping with pleasure...

ready n willing to be groped...

as i kneel before u with ease...

just to here u moan...

I just wanna watch ur eyes roll...

pinning u against the wall...

hearing u accept what you've caused...

creating echoes finding their way down the hall...

loveless...

i can feel the music but i cannot feel the real thing...

am i in trouble as i am unable to use emotions for anything other than a fling...

flung from the tip of the finger as if a bird...

i cannot seem to reach depths as they have no worth...

i believe feelings dried up when i realized is for mindless fucks...

n in return it causes my own tongue to cuss...

who gives a shit when friends come n go...

holding on to attachments for far longer than the heart can feel alone...

twisting use into a wad of mental stability's kept from another's tame...

so fuckin done with all the endless games...

there is no desire other than sexual sensations crawling with a tease...

jus wanting time spent on knees...

passion is not a necessity to live a more reasonable life...

where confusion doesn't settle into the texture of smiles felt as if tasting lies...

i have no response to such movements coming from beneath the skin...

i jus want to fuckin live...

without the beginnings that always end...

becoming scandalous when the drifting is met by the same expectations fading with what's left...

at best it's the moment to enjoy someone until they decide to change their mind...

when self isn't done with all the sensitivities that expose sacred details in a unique kinda design...

i nothing to give worth a fuck...

i'm empty to the touch other than being turned on by lusts...

past the point of wants claiming to be needs...

there's no way to get to me...

even if one were to find their own way in...

they'd be lonely in the opening of doors as i sit with a grin...

waiting for them to give up on what i've already let known...

but i can give with pleasure some well deserves moans...

rolling through a night of cravings trusted by fingertips reaching for sound...

or is it i haven't found someone i jus cannot go on without.?.

fuck the memories...

Waking to the void just wanting to cry... As the emptiness isn't so shy... Though it has nothing to do with being alone... It's just the heart's been touched by a hand so cold... With butterflies etched into its walls... Whispering when dreams fade so raw... As tears sit in the wells of sockets wanting to be released... Times come upon the eyes opening that the drifting leaks... Feeling the hope of self dismissed by each drip held in... In silent moments loosening to the life ahead without a friend... Lost in mornings not wanting to move... Needing comfort here n there so the mind can call a truce... To ease the weight of memories cut from the now of such absence... Damn near as if the sun was hidden behind the clouds presence... Keeping life to a dull overshadowing of haze... As the taste of a name has the head shaking no longer in pain... Knowing it's just  the thought that creeps up on the blindside of stability... Caught off guard by what never had a chance to perform with motions so vivid smiles were to be created by its agility... Yet it's the remains of particles that sneak into the a.m. looking to damper the mood... Just to rise from the pillow to say fuck it n get on with the day awaiting ones next move... Removing the sheets for a wash for the tainted slush dripped out... Laughing at how self is reminded of pieces of used to bees without sound... Proud to have felt both sides of what was considered luv... With birds floating through the air one more time like it cannot have what's come of what's been forever hushed...

on the hunt...

i've been trying to find pieces of me for quite some time...

digging in to aquire the fragments blown into particles somewhere here in life...

as the puzzle of me slowly comes back into view...

a different version of me resembles who i used to be removed...

as if a stranger to the one in the mirror as still as stares can wait...

looking for answer in my own eyes jus before questions fade...

knowing the clown is the same as the mime muted as if there is no tongue...

silent for words have no need to create a voice until i define the hush...

goin in as deep as depths can be felt to evolve...

lingering with the satisfaction of becoming who i am to be as a problem solved...

reaching for a foundation in which transforms truths upon my face...

as the display settles the nerve beneath the skin unseen by sights that gaze...

there's a new version to come from the hidden expression held in for that right moment to be...

as i search the most sacred places within me...

feeling my way along the walls in the dark knowing the morning will come...

n when i awaken life will once again be so much fun...

i love me...

maybe i like the way it feels...

n it has nothing to do with u...

have u ever thought that i've been truly healed.?.

or that i'm only interested in the way life moves...

relations isn't a must in my heart...

it takes away from the freedom to roam...

as i'd rather not play a role within so many parts...

the turth is, i'd rather be alone...

for i've fallen in luv with the silence...

n the solitude has become a friend...

allowing me to do as i please...

in true form unaltered by ur liking to my end...

having to have every second wrapped up...

unable to sigh in a moment to be...

always tucked in between wanting to leave n trust...

torn from the comfort of who i am on my own to placed in dreams...

maybe i don't feel a fuckin thing...

it's possible i lost the tickle in the texture stroked...

simply not wanting fingers to flow to what's to me as a fling...

i have no hope...

the patience of being on my own has completed me...

there's a certain type of ease i live with...

bcuz of how i found my way without anyone else i've been freed...

tamed by i've come to know my worth sits upon no ones lips...

so in some strange twist i need not temped to luv irritations...

when it's hard enough for me to even like others...

as i sit without the confusions caused by someone else's expectations...

i believe all i crave from time to time is a luv'r...

a specific type...

as i go on about my way n live my life...

being someone's everything doesn't appeal to me no more...

it hasn't for quite a while to be honest...

i have nothing in my depths that needs poured...

i'm happy jus doin what i do even if it isn't my best...

but i don't think you'd understand where i'm coming from...

loosened to how i let go of passion...

a poison to a mental state of of coming undone...

emotion is a bother to a different kinda fashion...

worn with a confidence not having to pose with fake smiles...

the loner within ain't afraid to speak...

in tuned with what is in fact worth a while...

able to fuckin breathe...

ur lips...

I keep seeing ur lips in the middle of the day... Moving to syllables saying my name... Shaping sounds n then u smile... N the feelin I get gets me goin like 100 proof turned up worth the while... Moving with thoughts following u through my mind... Skin on skin tasting the fantasy as u appear in the middle of daydreams so nice... Yet it's ur lips as u lick them staring at me... Oooh how the pulse peeks... Thinking about u wrapped around the erect version of how u make me hard... As I can't get enough of how u nibble ur way into my arms... Listening to how ur lips kiss n create a suction noise sliding off the head... Damn, what I'd do to watch u play with me in the middle of the bed... Feeling the way u slurp a lil jus prior to other motions coming to life... Craving for u to take me for a ride... I see ur lips persuading me to put them to use... As a fixation massaging pieces of me with a bit of tongue rollin to the same fuckin groove... Talking about yeah set on repeat until you've claimed my demeanor coming undone... I see ur lips sippin on me n I believe ur the one... Mmm, jus like that... As I flow with the vision I have of u in my imagination's grasp... Feeling u crawl up on me... Lickin n pleasing until the pressing ur lips meet heavy pants in which I breathe... Ur lips moving is my weakness jus so u know... I want them touching places only u can go as u make me moan...

emotional motion...

there's no wrong way to feel... shit happens as we fall in to even heal... goin with the flow of emotion is a matter of easing up on thoughts... tenderizing the heart for a better cause... sometimes it hurts so fuckin bad we literally hate the one thing we have to cling to... n others are so powerful luv is transformed from likes in such a way the body moves... n when passion drips from the eyes the most vulnerable sensitivity creates a rush that can go one of two ways... as at times it's in the same direction jus before most likely chances will switch up to leave intent sitting alone trying to forget another's name... goin through the motions of lusts until one sticks around on a level of true comfort... living in a perspective of not everything will play out is the answer to depths failed left wanting more... landing in arms wrapped up in some other shit that can't wait until later... yet slowing the soothe becomes as wild as a raider... lookin for the treasure buried in unused cravings settle down... heard in a form where words give meaning to actions strolling along somehow found... n if the bottom drops out it's cool if the change flips the switch for a lil while... setting aside the feels of over doin a thing or two to resurrect the smile... there's no correct reason not to give a go when the pain has had its way... we all havta play the game...

how long.?.

How long will it be before it wears off.?. After the heart claiming to forever go soft... When the breaking of silence finally steps up to play the deal... As honesty slips from ur lips with the true presence of the way u feel... When the heart's had enough of not truly getting what it craves... For it would be my face that gets lost with the drift of exchanging names... When in time to come will the nights fall from bodies touching.?. As the pulse slows back to a subtle thump jus before the irritation begins its rushing... Delivering moments u swore would never lose interest in me... Prior to u treating me as a stranger caught in the tides taking over the shallows of dreams... Do u believe me to obtain the pieces u need to connect within... As hope plunder into a pile of a wasted attempt to mold me into some sort of lift... So u rise to the occasion of false pretenses fluttering as if passion is real... All due to ur too quick to give away the most sacred desires once again to be healed... When will u determine a different state of mind of who i am to u.?. Transforming pure tendencies of luv into distance fading with expressions on the vibes of nerves wanting a new... The wonder wanders with thoughts of actions thrown into motions reaching for depths... Where will we be when i do not allow myself to cave to ur speed to be felt.?. Unwilling to actually know who it is rolling around deep into the presence of the moon... Filling the mood with particles of questions building for a later date to crumble sitting alone in a room... So how far do u expect relations to get if all there is is the demand to be luv'd.?. As the seeking of answers will need to know where ur mind is pondering on scenarios with a free sense of trust... How long until the heartbreak settles into the nerves.?. As we realize to true definition of worth...

Well rested...

Alone with the comfort of nights at peace... Silence touching the darkness as another day leaves... As still as the body rests with the mind... Time seems to no longer exist as emotions has died... Lost in a war prior to the evolving of hope... Life chages as acceptance unfolds... Grounded to the ease of quiet moments treasured... Letting loose of thoughts confused by pleasures... Residing beyond the settlement of light... Deep into the sighs that create salvation throughout the nights... Lonely has no need to speak of pieces that do not fit... Nor carry words of false hopes pressed against lips... For desires have come to be a thing if the past... Showing human intent has transformed at last... To remain subtle in the solitude so praceful it breathes... Giving truths to foes claiming to be more than luv'rs in need... To drain passion from fingertips as the squeeze ends what persistence hides... Knowing the face in the mirror will never lie... Watching desperation through eyes that witness use... As the heart has found its depths simmering with a truce... Believing luv is a trick for others to get what it is they want... N pulling away from what is bewteen the legs as a lust... A tool to provoke sappy nonsense of unreasonable standards... To be turned n pierced into the flesh of the chests scars... It's easy to sleep without the corruption of so called friends... When the mind has no wonder to be in a constant state of defense...

When the old meets the new...

When thinking of another aches in the heart... As time unfolds without a luv once shared that drifted apart... Witnessed with eyes of the change that creates a different version of reality... With the mind transforming new memories on the reel playing with sounds relativity... When caring falls from depths to be collected by some stranger wanting to take emotion for a spin... Stealing the tickle away from preseasoned ribs... Taking the pain from the drip dried out well past its time of dying... As hands soothes the texture of the skin once touched by an old friend... Showing sighs still live in the presence of memories ti be make are more than the attempt of spent... With all the lingering loose ends somehow felt as a worth jus needing to be pieced back together... What was loses its desire lost somewhere in the gathering of the new of better weather... Able to feel the sunshine on a cool breezy day... Life goes on in lanes switching with signals given to evolve with as familiar face... When the distance has come to be the final curtain of wanting to live... Thoughts fear the patience of luv waiting to see where true intent rests... Hoping endless is a term used tgat comes from a sacred place within the chest... As self needs to decide what is to become of unused lips... Having no recent recollection of passion released through a kiss... With who was a supposed to be at the edge removed from the scenery of what is an afterthought standing strong... Like sunsets that change as not a single one of them ever go wrong... Being the beauty displayed as how much is missed out on... When dreams come from nights held in an embrace sensitivities into a familiar form... Nerves ripen to the taste of giving the mind to ones own past... Goin with thoughts that finally wrap around , at last...

Breaking luv down...

What is luv but confusion caused by emotions all stirred up.?. Desperately demanding to consume the mind for the way it feels as the lips stay hush... Reconfiguring a thought process that gets tangled in free will... Side stepping proof jus wanting to believe needs are met in tbe moment of a thrill... Hooking catch phrases to tones as laughter gets embedded in the ribs... Moving in motion without a train of thought as passion craves to live... Opening up to hope breaking the silence attempting to resolve the struggle within... As the battle no one can see is faught to protect self behind the depths of a grin... Losing who resides beneath the skin felt by desires coming to life... N becoming a twisted version of senaitivities waiting on use to feel the trust that derives... Trying to hold out for a friend jus past the hype where everything that will be comes together... Sneaking into the heart to touch the curves that flow with fingers of a luv'r... Raising expectation to an all time high every time the loosening caters to the comfort of laying still... Closer than strokes can eliminate how another failed to attend til the end of time as depths pour... Reaching for temptation to drop gaurds for no other reason than an attraction set in the design of the eyes... Untying restraints chained to old moans n groans upon the tongue flipping lies... Thinking will it be the answer to wonders that remain... Or fall straight through as a moment spared with nothing much more than a lesson gained...

round three...

Sssh. put on this outfit, get on ur knees n remain still...
I have a game i wanna play jus for the thrill...
I want to look at u as my fingers roam ur pretty lil body...
Ur such  fuckin hottie...
Don't move as i break out the suction dildo for u to perform on...
You're gonna luv making this porn...
Slide back on it stuck to the mirror leaned against the wall...
Grab my cock n feel it in ur palm...
Enjoy the real thing orally as u begin to ride yourself into an orgasm...
Raise my arousal as ur do as ur told to make my toes spasm... 
Two for one without multiple partners bcuz I know u like sucking as much as being stuffed deep...
As down ur throat I go making it hard for u to breathe...
I seriously wanna feel ur lips wrapped around my cock...
Suck n fuck n don't u dare stop...
Get it in there deep...
So when I turn u around n bend ur azz over u beg me to fuck u until u scream...
Knowing that initial push would prolly make me nut...
As I hold out jus ling enough...
Thinking, damn the feeling of ur lil pussy sliding over my shaft would be so fuckin nice...
Playing peekaboo with ur clit rubbed claimed as mine...
Head felt inserted...
Slowly on the inches forcing u to sound perverted...
Then back out...
Easing with the feel of nerves that make hormones create sound...
Jus to shove it in a lil more...
Groping ur throat as ur twat pours...
As it's taken out to the tip with a forceful grunt digging into the depths of ur walls...
Punishing u raw...
Hearing u gasp for me... 
Like a naughty lil freak I so need...
I continue to feel u slurping on my nob...
Back down on a hard cock...
Damn near bursting at the seems...
Loosened to one of many fantasies u seek...
Telling u u can have me once you've came...
Calling u all sorts of names...
Used u are for the gain of pleasure that on my own...
As u bust one as u moan...
Vibrating my dick still in ur wet mouth...
Reaching for me to ejaculate to the very sound...
N, boom.!.
Simultaneously our satisfaction fills the room...

now is a good time...

if i need to speak up you can do your own thing...

worth steps with every one taken to earn a place next to the way i breathe...

moving without the static clinging to the discomfort of us...

so decide before i come to say some shit you ain't ready for as you're claiming luv...

what is it you believe me to be pushing me to my limits of wtf.?.

i shouldn't havta tell you what it takes to respect my trust...

i'll do me if it comes to having to protect myself...

n no i don';t no part of u without a friendship more then felt...

shallowness isn't an attractive reality i do to fuckin well with...

so evolve prior to attempting to walk in hand getting closer than pressed lips...

that shit ain't free nor for jus anyone playing selfish twists...

stand on your word without speaking to show intent going the distance gripped...

held in palms draped with fingers never to let go...

with a face for life to be embedded in the memories made with an easy flow...

knowing a cocked head isn't needed to adjust to the correction of who the fuck u are...

i don't fuck around with the depths of my heart...

so if u wanna descend with the mind as emotions fall from the start...

be real n define your own presence wanting to reveal what you feel as a spark...

or let it go due to i ain't the one for entertain your precious lil feelings...

wtf do i look like waiting on u to get it together when there's life in the dealings.?.

i'm jus gonna chuckle n leave you where you stand on some fuckery...

strolling my freaky azz on about my way so happily...

unable to relate to your childish like mentality...

with a chalk line of dust to surround the remains of your memory to undergo your autopsy...

as silent as we met...

loosening restraints for you to play elsewhere as it's u i left...

standing on your own bcuz you refused to round out...

so let hear motions take place without a sound to ever leave the mouth...

i can do better if it hasta be told in such a downplay of wows...

as ticking is time to get it in for the comforts to settle here n now...

What's never been said...

With every day that passes pieces of u are felt less n less..  Jus to come back to the silence of the night as ur still getting my best... Remaining in a luv put to rest helped me live in my lonely so called need... Damn i thought by more of be more than free... Yet i think of u all the time n it makes it hard to move on... I don't seen you believe in anyone else the way my beliefs mourn... N it's harder knowing ur smiling without me being around... I truly thought it was me that gave ur heart that thumping sound... As i sat in the motionless moments wondering if u ever thought of me... Only if i could tell u how that shit change depths screaming for the envisioning of new dreams... Bits if u drifted through days as ur face came n gone... N i often thought with me there was something wrong... To break down to the care essentials that transformed my humble heart into a machine aware of how it is to be touched... Bcuz of me crave i had for u i witnessed myself catering to a past life falsely luv'd... Waiting on what became a realization of a friendship gone... As i felt the need to change the way carried ur presence for so long... N the pain didn't quite dig into emotion the way i thought... Aa it was an ease to let loose of the restraints i held personally that tied me to the way i was suck on a pause... For i was free before i even came to terms with moving on... Remembering what it took to live ice since found my worth... N i can't be happier it didn't last dye to ur you're jus one off those useless drafters who didn't wanna get burnt... Unable to believe in anyone bcuz u have no reason within... Yet u don't run a muck in my head no more for this is what's never been said cracking my own ribs... Laughing jus knowing in those emptied moans that missed u i found something deeper than u could ever reach... I found the real me... Wasting away as if u were under the bed taunting as I me afraid to be alone... Yet when my feet touched the floor to see if it was u u were gone n once again took my hope... Like a child scared of the boogy I laid in my awakening left to rethink who it was laying in the dark... Going back  forth on will i ever feel the way i felt when we were closer than air could ever keep us part... Tears fell n they were expected for it was a deeper kinda passion thrown with a sling... changing the reality in my own thought process that luv has nothing to do with rings... I belong somewhere in someone else's arms where I have a distance from what's never been said... Coming back from the dead silence of my own heartbeat pounding with the thumps tapping like fingernails in my head...  Collected I came to as a shed u from the layers u had gotten beneath... haunted no more i rolled over on the creeping misplacement i allowed u to leave me... struggling to emerge for years I drowned in pillows that absorbed my loss that I still do believe u have never cared for... so released u were some time ago before these words never meant a fuckin thing to how my heart now is poured... somehow reminded of ur deceit better arrangements chosen has given a rebirth of hope worth the appeal... but thanks for showing me what i don't need back when i didn't know i needed to heal... wrapped up with u in my life going down the tubes... as I can honestly say I see why for u I have no use...

 

Making a mess...

Craving the thought of having something one cannot have... Hidden in intent never seen to save the possibility driving self mad... Lingering in desires is the presence of someone gone untouched... Felt in the tingle when crossing the mind is an sense claimed for the rush... Driven to the ends of passions hormones find it hard to stay intact... Not one every gaining the chance to interact... As the entertainment behind the eyes is the definition of perfect coming to life... Tucked in depths to pleasure moments alone is the need to ask why... For the simple necessity of pure tenderness would go all in... If the unreachable one gave in to being violated with a well earned grin... Only then could the imagination run as wild as fingers creating heavy breathing... Transforming wants into needs of every lil vivid detail appears while the body begins overheating... Gripped n fondled the textureçs nerves would reason with the display of Altoona untangling before them... Landing with a sensitivity to please the beast waiting that has no end... Having a purpose to finally devour the taste moans follow... As tones bounce off walls echoed in a room once hollow... It's the irresistible life moving in sights of another line no other that triggers such a reaction... As at will knees will gladly be taken to serve up stone complete satisfaction... Acted out like daydreams causing masturbation in the middle if the day... In tune with how they accept the fact that it's them that would benefit from the skills moaning obscenities being used to her one name... The ahh from the explosion is unreal as the intensity locks up muscles unable to move... Making a mess of all the lil things held in that are let loose... Seeing their fade as they cum simultaneously bust... Locked in to the visual of well played out lusts...

move on...

Sitting in the aftermath with the pain... They're ok with that it's not them stranded holding on to what's left of the gain... As their smiles live on jus past the breaking point... One is damned paused with the feel of the void... Knowing they can move on so fast like nothing every mattered... As the pieces of the heart through life has been shattered... Corrupted by their presence they helped make believe would never retreat... Making every motion trickle with tears as emotion tries not to speak... Finding distance in the comfort aches in the cores disbelief... Waiting on them to give notice of how they cannot move on without us as a relief..  A sigh that clings to the ease in which they breathe... Yet knowing hope even knows they will never turn around n come home... As the feeling of lost creates a bitter hatred luv'd for it's all there is to know... Scattered behind closed doors is the memories cut short... Hiding away in a sacred torment to heal as if a whore... Used n thrown back into a world angry as fuck... Betrayed by the one person trusted the most when it came to luv... With mental scars to remind the sleeve to tuck the heart until friends are made... Having a hard time feeding in to expressions upon another's face... For eyes conceive the power if a stare lies within the contact made... While still remembering what was felt in a lonely place that captured the will refusing to escape... With choices to be taken into consideration before attempting another rendezvous... Digging in to the twist n allowing it to partake fir a better comprehension slung up by the noose... They don't care if ruins becomes of the depths we once shared as desires fall apart... Disappearing life the breeze that blew them in as attachments depart...

what's good.?.

leaving is an option if u ever decide to forget that i am ur friend...

being mistreated isn't something i wanna attend...

spent emotions ain't for the taking without the consideration in tones...

as acts of motions deliver proof far beyond the creation of moans...

hope jus can't be the thrill that i'll stand for jus any ol fuckin thing...

for the balance of worth on both ends of relations has no relevance to wearing rings...

it's either u have what it takes to consider me as a positive presence or it's over...

time i do not have to waste on some prat time, half azz, selfish kinda luv'r...

so telling u bye won't be shit no matter how i feel with a slap on the knee...

once i have seen ur true intent it's the makings of a moment to decide who u are to me...

i'll chuckle as i walk out of ur life for good come the day i ain't shit to u...

so feel free to collaborate what position i am to carry before i cut u loose...

a burden of drama based bs always having an issue with details u can go fuck yourself with...

have some interest deeper than the luv u seek can flow...

for when the hype wears off it'll be u n i standing face to face alone...

as eyes will witness how u come from within...

so i can determine what's good for me escaping the loony bin...

hate is no comfort of mine to live by to fill ur disruptive train of thought...

i need a more soothing ease that's natural to the touch if imma go soft...

i can stay or i can go...

i do not intend to entertain a foe...

hearts spoke...

the closer u got the further i sunk... the sky turned pink to highlight the blue as u gained my trust... the intensity of ur touch gave new meaning to worth... n in the silence of clinging to u it was like a spiritual rebirth... felt it was, deep beneath dreams so rare to reach... n it was u i found lurking in the middle of nowhere as a need... as the sky opened up for a morning to shine on us... we laid motionless without sound as our bodies were flush... held in arms creating sighs so powerful hearts spoke... n in a sense of relief for some strange reason i believed i'd came home... with the lingering through life eased for the mind to grasp a feel... damn, how u felt oh so fuckin real... soft n tender as sensitive as perfect could be... feeling the breeze dancing with fine hairs u made it so easy to breathe... total comfort embraced me to what was believed to be my final resting place... so far gone from reality i could hear ur heartbeat whisper my name... for the time it lasted everything made sense... it was as if all walls tumbled as u walked through what resembled my defense... it was whole n pure to the definitive aspect where life began... n as we were as still as the sun hiding behind the clouds pausing for us to take it all in... poof, like that, u were gone again... trapped in my imagination wanting to be freed... as i awakened to an empty presence no longer feeling like me... wanting so badly to return to what was the best night of my life... hoping to claim u for a lifetime as mine...

 

as i smile in disbelief...

 as i smile in disbelief...

tell me how it's gonna be... yet speak to me like i'm that mutha fucka that u allowed ruin ur dreams... it's all good to know how it is... so go ahead n talk down on me like i'm one of ur kids... u can do so much better while ur all alone... lookin at social media every night through ur phone... say it like it really is... n show what it is you've become as i listen to the chattering of ur lips... always on edge as if imma do whatever i can to hurt u... seen as a threat to ur way not wanting to change for a better use... all bcuz u believe we're all the fuckin same... what a fuckin shame...n funny ur young havta look at what broken truly is... diggin into their heads before they ever have a moment to live... it's more sad than pathetic n that's jus as real as it gets... something u claim to be about while ur worth is a mess... yet i'm good for a couple of rounds so u can attempt to prove ur point... jus don't be surprised if i ain't what once filled ur void... leaving u hopeless n miserable bcuz u forgot who u were... even making flirting awkward as it's two birds... yeah i know, u don't need no one n all that shit... but u fail to admit the feelings u possess n what it is u miss... u try to act hard as some self proclaimed bitch... n u don't care to see yourself for u are not weak as u spit... as every other word is a chip at ex luv'rs that can't be heard... ur not as strong as u pretend to be as the truth in ur eyes lurks... fighting yourself in the mirror acting out what character u are to become... oooh, what fun... i bet that comforts u late at night... while ur snuggled up cussing prior memories for not pulling through with life... so jab me a jibber of what a man is to be... since u know how to conduct yourself like a woman with a fowl tone aimed at me...

Alone in the dark...

She believes she has issues... Lost in the silence of solitude... Unable to adjust the world outside..  Her idea of happiness is to be left alone to die... She thinks she's the only one... Betrayed in between the lines of promises said n now done... Feeling the need to fling birds aimed at luv's intent... Claiming everyone is the same so she has a reason to vent... Creating a place when the darkness evaluates her mind... Changing its thoughts as her emotion hides... Bitter from choices she hasn't accepted as her own... As the smile upon her face is shallow n rarely shown... She drifts with obscenities cut loose from the lip... Without a lick of common courtesy missed... The pain delivered her to the ends of her worth... To soak up the tears like it never hurt... She's caught in hey own disposition as her eyes tell the truth... Yet trust is the one thing in which she has no use... Dead is emptiness of her dreams... Blackened by a once was tgat never had a need... So behind the scenes she climbs walls pretending she's better of... Damning anyone with hey sharoened claws... Digging in to flaws to break down every angke wanting to get close... Living in fear she sits in a lonely home... Running around in her head taking to herself... Refusing to every give in again to being felt... Bcuz the negativity touched her as she feel in luv... Keeping her most sacred desires locked awayas the tongue had been hushed... To remain safe from the monsters that brings the ugly to life... There is no hope for passion has resigned... Inward she spun a web to catch herself slipping... Restraining voices attempting to get through kisses sipping... She's scared but won't soeak of the matters of who she really is... She jus clings to a simpler way to live... Laughing in the dark as her chuckle echoes down the hall... She listens to it fade has her heart stalls... Luv'n the distance of decisions tgat helps ber sleep... As the pillows comfort the way she breathes...

ease up...

i can't be what rests in their design... life is better if u don't wait on my luv... i'm jus a friend in the makings of like... n that stare you've been aiming in my direction is too much...  don't look at me... i ain't as easy as a smile to work me loose... my emotion needs more than a pretty face plucked from dreams... as words are gonna havta be placed on mute... it's not that i can't be luv'd... it's my train of thought that's dug a lil deeper for something else... witness to a gaze make of kryptonite to settle the rush... shallow expressions swing the grin on hinges claimed to be felt... when it's me within my own that has been unseen by something other than sight... guess u can say i've gotten tired of luv'rs unable to deliver a promise set adrift... able to see the sands without the water to create a beach in the mind... i don't want it to be u bcuz i'll never be missed... chasing passion through sex that touches the skin... caressing the surface like stroking a pet... i'm not allowed to have u for ur patience hasn't slowed to adapt to the truth of once lived... going for the moment that tends to end well before i'll ever get ur best... ur a dime a dozen thinking i'm someone u can transform into this image in ur head... as i'll never be enough to the twinkle u have for me right now... fading like the memory yet to admit my free will will disturb ur sought out reality manifest... feeling sensitive to ur own presence as mine is jus around until u find what truly heals ur frown... even though i appear to be this vision for i fit its silhouette... but it's my own shadow having its own shape that define the conflict... all due to demanding what is to be earned that lingers in my chest... i'm not ur sponge of hate as u are not my bitch... gullible is not attractive to say the least... if u want me ur gonna havta slow ur role.... to come to know the individual that isn't afraid to leave... as forever isn't here to determine depression not wanting to be alone... needs over wants is a state of worth... n the way u gawk scares the fuck outta me... so eager to give yourself to a stranger u feel is a good thing like it could never hurt... as if ur solitude was opened up to set u free... too soon is my belief of the glaze not yet evaporated in ur eyes... why is it me to replace the empty void in which u hide as u attempt to escape.?. running into arms to heal u doin everything u can to give it a try... or have u jus not evolved from the last time u were burnt by the ol familiar flame.?. hoping this go around pans out... please save me from falling straight through u... reaching for anything to grab a hold of that isn't in ur eyes telling me i haven't gotten a chance to stand proud... i refuse to collapse without a reason to trust...