giving up on dreams like days falling off my life. seems to me they weren't to be meant to last forever as they with me are to be buried in a pine. thoughts are fading fast n i don't know what to do. the older i get the least i'm more enthused. truth is i lost pieces of me i can never get back. as i tried to replace them with others although it feels like i'm wearing a mask. attempting to hide from the images in my own fuckin head. burying memories that reach up for me from the fuckin dead. i might be a lost cause after all but it's ok. bcuz when i look in the mirror i can't see desire in my face. there's nothing but emptiness behind my eyes. asi cannot wait to go to sleep for it's the one place i feel alive. n when everything comes back to me there's not much to believe here in the real world. there's too many chameleons not wanting to be singular yet pretending to be plural. n in my case, what i want, i jus cannot have. so i reside behind the scenes n allow the nothing become my past. my depths ache n that is no fuckin lie. n my heart at times, it does wanna die. as it was cut loose by luv that was said to be fate. n that's how thoughts somehow change the expressions upon my face. as the mind tries to transform the pain into the beauty that remains. asi tell myself my own true friend is within as it's the only person to be of gain. although as slippery as the tongue can possibly be. it also speaks on other bs that truly doesn't interest me. bcuz within my chest i'v buried hope so long ago. as i made myself admit i jus wanna be left the fuck alone. all bcuz my foresight did not reach the promised land as i lost control. becoming a stranger to even self as worth hung form a rope. left to take its last breath before my very own eyes. n for the life of me i still don't know why.
No comments:
Post a Comment