only if i was ready to open up, we coulda had the time of our lives. but i wasn't ready as i side stepped u n u walked on by. it wasn't easy to do but that's jus how life goes. not everyone is on the same level when they're totally alone. i had to figure some shit out before hands could be held. n there were times i wish i coulda opened up to the feeling that wanted to be felt. ur jus one of those good ones that knew ur worth. n u kept it moving as my honesty was heard. u come to realize getting close to someone i struggle with. bcuz so many say they're so different n yet the same ol chatter leaps from tainted lips. n it's taken me this long to get to where u were back the. at the doorstep knocking on the thumper talking about let someone in. the was a comfort in ur hands even though i picked u apart. it was like i had to find something so i didn't havta use my heart. it weird to hear truths speak up as i listen to my own crazy shit. but i remember how u were that lingering tickle in my ribs. n at times i think about how it must've hurt. uj were mentally with it n deserved someone to put in the work. as i believed it was a must to let u go. even though u were someone i truly wanted to get to know. keeping u away from how i had to evolve from behind the scenes. only showing others what i want them to see. n i ain't the same as i allowed myself to come to my terms. it was something i had to do by myself for my lessons to be learned. i never wanted u to be a cover for something deep meant for someone else. although i enjoyed ur presence n i couldn't get enough of ur smell. one whiff of u loosened me right the fuck on up. n to be honest, if u were here today i'd prolly fall in luv. but chances were given as i walked away. i straight stepped back n watched the smile fall from ur face. just believe it was something i had to do. there were things to me i had to prove. n yeah, i still live by i'm no one to be missed. as you'll never know of these words tucked behind my lip.
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