Pluck a nerve...

 Stop being so nice n try to hurt my feelings... I'd like to know if i can be affected by ur dealings... I believe it's the only way to see that you've actually gotten in.... It maught be twisted but evenyou'd witness for yourself if it's in ur presence i wanna live... In all realness fire away n pluck a nerve n watch if it shakes loose... Attempt to adjust the way it is i move... Transforming my thoughts as if my eyes were chasing u I my head... Peep my reaction when u come for my heart trustig it could be u... We both need the visual in my facial expressions as u poke at my truths... Try me so we can agree on where this this is bound to go... Pushing limits to the edge of what's what that is being shown... Have i fallen or could i use apush to determine who u are to me??? Odk my guess is ir gonna havta step through me to see if I'll Vaughn u descending from my dreams... Maybe puttin me on the spot will touch an emotion that wants to come to life... Reassuring us of real content that i just cannot hide... Ur gonna do it eventually anyways so take ur best shot... Thought once we see honesty come to the surface the silliness hasta stop... Either way it goes were gonna need to accept what it is we should do... I feel it's time we to live with the proof... So swing n land a blow that'll change everything we've come to know.... It'll settle more the urge of the unknown hope... In one definitive moment piecing together a tomorrow's gain... As for the rest of today we can begin to release the bait... For there will be nothing left to catch but some sleep... Are u ready to face the real me???

alive n in a hole...

I've laid too many to rest in the graveyard in my mind... Poof, gone, deleted outta my life... Without a tombstone to identity who's who... I hold the shovel close just in case any other wants to shift with the way they move... as faces emerge to me in times spent alone... chuckles find the memories of luv'rs being groped... twisting reality into a distant calming phase... people were more than lost along the way... buried while still alive as i ignore their chants... testing myself to do better with who speaks n who rants... for lies n judgements have no place in my heart... nor do friendships that do nothing more than pretend to play the part... as faces turn behind the back to spit on thy name... they find the dirt heavy when they cannot reach me with hate... covered in their own doings i set myself free... to live in exile without the scattering of me... as betrayal lays six feet below n i cannot hear a fuckin thing... it's so peaceful knowing knives won't get to me when i blink... as the fake ones have been dismissed from my sighs... sent back to the other side where their existence is in my time... for the burial was swift as a calm settled my nerves... as it was me standing alone without all the bs to be heard... they're all in a hole filled to it's rim just to hear themselves ramble on... i needed not to carry their shallowness to where it is i'm going...

natural ease...

if it isn't natural it isn't something i want. there's no in a reality in saying i'm going to try at luv. that fake azz pretend shit you can take with you on down the road. it has no business stepping into my home. if you have to force yourself to feel me you can leave me be. because your false presence is something i just don't need. i don't understand how people are okay with wasting others time. just to claim they have someone in their life? knowing damn well it's too big of a task to keep it going. sucking the life out of someone else's norm. when they know deep down shit just isn't right. and true intent is what they truly hide. if you are one of those individuals please leave me alone. because i don't even have it in me to hear you moan. to make yourself adapt to the resistance of me, that bs just isn't felt. as my existence could be in luv with someone else. with someone who naturally syncs and tunes to who i am. feeling the magic awaken comfort when touched by thy hand. i'm not playing no games so please make up your mind. how easy is it for you to smile when you awaken with me in your life? i don't want to assume or ask for shit. you're either with it or you ain't as it is what it is. it shouldn't be a struggle to give yourself to another. if i'm not it i don't even want to be our luv'r. my heart is not for just anyone to walk in as if it has a revolving door.  and my emotions mean to me, so much fuckin more. so if you truly don't care keep that fake shit to yourself. let it be known so i know you're no help. i need me an guaranteed ease i can slide on into. someone who cannot help themselves when it comes to feeling my use. without the constant wonder of what the fuck. simply sinking in to the way we touch. so speak of truths and tell no lies. how is it i appear in your mind? who am i to you before my feelings change? as i ask, how do you feel when you say my name?

patiently waiting...

i don't know if you'll ever find my words. and i don't know if i'll ever be heard. but if you so happen to read along with me in your head. know i speak from a mindset and a truth pulsating from my chest. i may never hold you or see you smile. or even hear you laugh in which brings out my inner child. no, i do not know who you are. as that itself honestly causes an aching in my heart. and as time is flying by so very fast. we're missing out on memories made that can make up a past. so if you happen to find me first someway or somehow. don't be afraid to speak to me out load. because you can be anyone and that just won't do. i just want one person who happens to be you. but who are you if i've never seen your face? or maybe i have and actually said your name. i'm lost on the thought of where to look. it's like you don't exist and that leaves me shook. but i'd like to believe you're out there hiding like me. tucked into the creases of isolation unable to be seen. i get it, and i can use you, this you should know. and yet how could you if you've never been shown? knowing at this point you're no more than a dream locked up in my mind. lingering without a face to bring me to life. i'm patiently waiting but damn it would be so nice to hold still with you. and move woth the flow of luv put to use. to wrap you up so i can feel you breathe. creating sighs from the both of us as we find that ease. to be as we coexist. but how if you're just a wish? out there somewhere drifting alone. like me in wonder of feeling completely known.

from the dark side...

i cannot believe i allowed myself to be swallowed up. feeling the only thing that truly hurts is the hollows hush. felt is the word i'm curious to find in real life. n there's a place that's better than here before death n i don't wanna die. i'm just tired of spending so much time all by myself. only if i could let someone in n give to me some genuine help. turning the light on under the covers just to make me laugh. i'm not broken, i'm fully intact. i could just use a conversation that can stick to the facts. with a tongue that taste my name n then slides up my face. just to watch my expression trying to get away. yet who am i to ask for so much when i'd rather like someone before expressing luv. as here i am sitting alone calling out from the dark side. someone make a squeak, a sound, just lemme hear ur voice. i've been doing this for so long n wanna overcome the empty void. although the last thing i want is to be recognized as a whore. bcuz who i was yrs ago n who i am are opposing norms. i just want something more than a fuck to fling. a moment that never sees the morning's need. quietly kept i'm over how i talk to myself when no ones around. but it's prolly just another want to lift me up from feeling down...

lone...

emotion just doesn't mean as much as a piece of mind. n to get to me you'd havta sit back n realize there's a reason why. is it i lost myself in the middle of an emotional feel? we all know within that due process it takes way to fuckin ling to heal. one thing i can admit is i've been there n came back. n i found myself staring into a mirror with my back to my past. bitterness just doesn't compete with the sounds of silence when self can hear an other coming. quietly kept the heart beats somewhat different when they hit the ground running. i have no need in rushing to the chaos to take control by the end. never finding a friend for passions are stolen. as hope flickers with the breeze as candles are lit. head game sis all that ever evolves from that type of nonsense. that's why i like the peaceful life to remain alone. even though happiness revolves around a different type of home. issues n flaws just isn't any fun once time comes to call. n i'd rather not tossed around thoughts that never calm the nerves. i'd havts have something differernt than i've ever known if i ever went back in. in a sense of tongue never forget the friendship when speaking as they spit. to live without the confusion that creates a wedge when moving too fast. making due isn't an interest i seek when it never lasts. but i'm in no rush as lone is not so bad. it's something i can actually grasp. a soothing that settles the inner makings knowing there's no bs coming my way. i enjoy the comfort in a guaranteed kinda wait. a slow grind to get to know another's secret self. bcuz it's in the depths where trust is felt. n until then... i'm not giving in.

after the shenanagins...

in my mind it plays out like i've already fucked my dream girl, so now what? i've already been in n outta luv. past the emotional ruins of my life. as i know as in legal matters, know what it means to have a wife. so what else is left? i've already had what everyone in every other new relationship claims is the best fuckin sex. i stood within relations like a real man as if life couldn't phase me. n i rounded out since the thought process as wants over needs. n i'm actually wondering what is it i'm actually looking for. when i've already danced from within the center of a storm. knowing it was my actions too that created its trwirl. as this world went on about its way n i went back to being singular from plural. i've already been with my ultimate fantasy. as i had to step back n correct me ever changing reality. n i play with the though of, is there anyone who can bring my passion back to life? help bring me from within n somehow reopen my mind. bcuz i felt desires let go of hope right before i feel off the edge. as i now sit with a curious hmm, wondering what's next. bcuz i've done all but fulfill my dreams. n all the women i just cannot remember is nothing more than erotic's leap. i've had more than my fair share as fingers have had their way. n it's bcuz of this is how i know the depths of a woman is more than she'll ever say. so where in the fuck do i turn when i've even had strippers on the roster? i'm over playing around on back burners that are filled with imposters. my guess is i'm just too fuckin hard to please. even though in another i do wanna believe. n i feel the need in a new hype to change my ways. yet, who would i truly wanna hear say my name? i have no one sitting up on a pedestal high up in the mind. n not a one comes from the hidden intent that i thought of claiming as mine. so after all the shenanagins that make up my life. who will it be to cross me to insure i'm as real as the sun that shines.

as ur smile fell from ur face...

only if i was ready to open up, we coulda had the time of our lives. but i wasn't ready as i side stepped u n u walked on by. it wasn't easy to do but that's jus how life goes. not everyone is on the same level when they're totally alone. i had to figure some shit out before hands could be held. n there were times i wish i coulda opened up to the feeling that wanted to be felt. ur jus one of those good ones that knew ur worth. n u kept it moving as my honesty was heard. u come to realize getting close to someone i struggle with. bcuz so many say they're so different n yet the same ol chatter leaps from tainted lips. n it's taken me this long to get to where u were back the. at the doorstep knocking on the thumper talking about let someone in. the was a comfort in ur hands even though i picked u apart. it was like i had to find something so i didn't havta use my heart. it weird to hear truths speak up as i listen to my own crazy shit. but i remember how u were that lingering tickle in my ribs. n at times i think about how it must've hurt. uj were mentally with it n deserved someone to put in the work. as i believed it was a must to let u go. even though u were someone i truly wanted to get to know. keeping u away from how i had to evolve from behind the scenes. only showing others what i want them to see. n i ain't the same as i allowed myself to come to my terms. it was something i had to do by myself for my lessons to be learned. i never wanted u to be a cover for something deep meant for someone else. although i enjoyed ur presence n i couldn't get enough of ur smell. one whiff of u loosened me right the fuck on up. n to be honest, if u were here today i'd prolly fall in luv. but chances were given as i walked away. i straight stepped back n watched the smile fall from ur face. just believe it was something i had to do. there were things to me i had to prove. n yeah, i still live by i'm no one to be missed. as you'll never know of these words tucked behind my lip.

dead dreams...

giving up on dreams like days falling off my life. seems to me they weren't to be meant to last forever as they with me are to be buried in a pine. thoughts are fading fast n i don't know what to do. the older i get the least i'm more enthused. truth is i lost pieces of me i can never get back. as i tried to replace them with others although it feels like i'm wearing a mask. attempting to hide from the images in my own fuckin head. burying memories that reach up for me from the fuckin dead. i might be a lost cause after all but it's ok. bcuz when i look in the mirror i can't see desire in my face. there's nothing but emptiness behind my eyes. asi cannot wait to go to sleep for it's the one place i feel alive. n when everything comes back to me there's not much to believe here in the real world. there's too many chameleons not wanting to be singular yet pretending to be plural. n in my case, what i want, i jus cannot have. so i reside behind the scenes n allow the nothing become my past. my depths ache n that is no fuckin lie. n my heart at times, it does wanna die. as it was cut loose by luv that was said to be fate. n that's how thoughts somehow change the expressions upon my face. as the mind tries to transform the pain into the beauty that remains. asi tell myself my own true friend is within as it's the only person to be of gain. although as slippery as the tongue can possibly be. it also speaks on other bs that truly doesn't interest me. bcuz within my chest i'v buried hope so long ago. as i made myself admit i jus wanna be left the fuck alone. all bcuz my foresight did not reach the promised land as i lost control. becoming a stranger to even self as worth hung form a rope. left to take its last breath before my very own eyes. n for the life of me i still don't know why.

on the edge of the bed...

with slow movements sway as i undress u. as provocative as natural intent can feel the mood. now climb on up onto the edge of the bed. fulfill the image of u u keep in my head. put ur knees on the egde n spread ur legs. lean forward, arch ur back and show me how ur made. i just wanna look at u for a lil bit. before i caress u from ur neck to ur ankles n back up to ur pussy lips. jst to feel what my eyes have been lusting on. put a lil wiggle with it bcuz it'll make me want u even more. ease back n lean into my touch. i'll break out the feather until ur sighs are no longer hushed. i crave to see ur beauty on full display. opened up as u look back n say my name. as i suck on ur inner thighs. bringing every single one of ur hormones back to life. just feel the way my hand slaps ur azz. i promise u at first, i won't move too fast. my tongue can feel the anticipation of ur body calling a truce. i want to be the one that frees u from u. giving to me what i desire the most. u! that's who i want to get alone. as ur patiently waiting for me to lick ur skin from head to toe. then rub u in oils as every curve of u is groped. whispering in ur ear as dirty as i can. letting my presents known as a fuckin man. just try to be still when i drop down behind u to my knees. tasting every drop ur release. just do u as i do me. bcuz it's the bitch within u i'm attempting to free. stroking u until i force my way inside. losn n slow so u can stretch around the thing in which you've been deprived. as ur hair finds its way into the palm of my grip. fingers entangled in strands as i bite my lip. thrusting to tease as ur sensitivity caves in. that's when i dig in to ur hips. pushing deeper n deeper until the bottom is exposed. damn how u give my sexuality hope.

hi!

kiss me and bring me back to life. reincarnate me and listen to how every breath sighs. because that's what i see when i look into your eyes. as lips touch in a moment of passion's find. taste me day or night. from you i'd never hide. trust me when i tell you, it'd be so nice to make it past the hype. for that's where real relations truly shine. so come closer and see if you can read my mind. and up the walls shadows can climb. with a sound filling this room as we come to alive. i don't believe in signs or luv at first sight but damn there is just something about you i like. and that's something that can evolve into luv if that's how emotions slip as they slide. as you and i emerge to align. hi! no, i'm not shy. and for you i'm as open as the clear blue skies. stopping before you at the drop on a dime. putting aside for you me ego and pride. all that's left is for you to decide. am i someone you can tell goodbye? or am i touching that soft spot sas our interests combine? curious to know more on how i'm defined. just so you can unwrap the package in which i reside. it can be our special day every day if you'd just walk with me through time. as i'm just guessing that your flavor is perfectly ripe. sweet and sensitive to the touch that would never leave me behind. for some reason i believe in you and i don't know why. honestly speaking it's me you excite. so what do you say we just mingle and go with the vibe? we can see if there's depths that want to surface that need not be bribed. what do you say if we step away from here and go get a bite. talk and drift through topics as long as convo is free from lies. simply putting our do's and don'ts in a line and one by one we'll go through yours and mine. so we can witness how our friendship coexists before we ever take flight. far from our past that is nowhere in sight.

Drip dry...

 One can never slip in between the raindrops as if self cannot be touched... So one must stand in the rain to feel more than enough... Dripping without motion until the shoes cone off... Knowing the inner makings live n self wasn't so lost... In the down pour tapping upon the skin... The face tilts upward n slowly displays a grin... Beneath the skies dumping more than tears could ever escape... It's the storm the recreates the face... Dancing to the thunder in sync with the heartbeat finding w pulse... As the lighting is the vibe resurrecting the energy to believe in a cause... From the clouds above the viendo cleansing loosens luge to simply just be... N as they dispurse the sun greets a new twist defined as a more preeminent kinda  free...

loneliness's inhabitable mix...

drift just outta view n be forgotten... watch life move right on by as time isn't nothin... peep how no one truly misses ur presence if u do not make yourself known... n even if u do others tend to leave u alone... giving true purpose to worth embedded in the eyes.... although you'd havta pay attention to how ur absence hasn't any significance in their lives... just pull back n notice the way everything keeps on flowing without ur participation... n take in the factor of who u are to them having for u any type of anticipation... in a solo slide right outta the frame of sight... sitting still in the distance watching the feast of attention feed boredom's hype... but never pretend it isn't real enough to second guess realities lil trick... to grasp the use of self in ways we're blinded by spinning ticks... as moments tuned into a world so fake people only want to be entertained... n if u ain't doin ur part ur a memory to the game... lost as a thought every now n again to minds trapped in a phase that fulfills their empty needs... to be greeted upon them showing they exist but never seen to actually breathe... settle within n ignore the social scene is no more than a fix... n how repeated behaviors is for selfish gains to overcome loneliness's inhabitable mix... no one cares if u disappear without a trace... just live n the lack of real friendships will prove to be ur just a name... a face in the crowd that allows the unknown u to be famous if u choose... or  remain in hiding with a better understanding of what's real n what hasta be cut loose... it's a fictional place where ego n laughter are tucked in lonely rooms... waiting on someone to misguide the mind n help create a more enjoyable mood... when u lay ur head down at night n try to dream in peace... at the end of the day it's really not all that it's cracked up to be...

sleeping to be...

she said, I have everything but u... other than in the depths behind my eyes where u tend to move. yet, it's always with the sun to ur back so she cannot see ur face... as it's my silhouette that has become a shadow she cannot escape... carefully expressing that here in the real world we just do not exist... knowing she'd luv to stand between me n the sunset to catch a glimpse of how my smile adjusts to the nibbling of her lips... she needs nothing here for but a visual of who it is i truly am so she can shut off the alarm... she whispered softly that she's tired of waking up to alerts that never kickstart her heart... n the sleeping to be as one is the real joy forever felt bcuz she believes it's the only place she can find me waiting for her in the sand... lost with a patience for her to return so i can hold her again... though, with a mumble she asked, would it be cheating if she found me on the other side n left me to her dreams to linger on.?. she spoke of how i was the missing link to her forgotten norm... like she was reaching for me so her own visuals would align with who i am living life... as coming from the images stuck in my own mind... she told truths of how we were in luv in the middle of everything we've ever known... as i could relate to the crave to enter into realities shown... although her words never came from my own deep trans where i felt right at home... feeling a certain type of way when i awaken as if i am truly alone... in my head i have pieces of her scattered about... as my subconscious day dreams as if she were here to take these breaths from my mouth... with a rooted passion buried so far down she says, come get me with a sighing flirtation... n i'd want nothing more than to bring her back from my fantasies that claim her as an hallucination... mimicking me like a mirror that duplicates me as a mental image... it's how she knows me so well as to trigger intent pushing the limits... sounding as if she were me as she lip syncs my every thought... n in that moment is where i quietly pause... loosening to the realization that perfect is nonetheless a figment of the imagination playing tricks for treats... leaving a hole exposed in the chest that needs not be... but as i fall back under to rest there she is chuckling like i never left... damn, only if she'd appear the way she said, the sleeping to be as one is the real joy forever felt at its best...

outta place...

i have no fuckin clue to which direction i'm truly goin. all i know is i needed a come up to replace my norm. maybe one day soon i'll finally figure it out. n the day after that, it's possible that i'll go home somehow. i jus don't know n it really feels like i'm lost. it's like i'm in a sense of stuck in a pause. wondering what's next as it's yet to stroll into my life. as my head is set on a swivel looking for signs. strange thing is in those i just do not believe in. so i wait on time to drop me a subtle hint. a look within a stare that drives me wild. to awaken the silliness of my inner child. i'm not so far gone that i'm outta reach. i've jus been unfolding myself until i find a need. i had to come back to the center of everything i've ever known. as it's been way to fuckin long since i've given in to anything more than being alone. for i've listened to the silence for so long that i'm glad i'm still alive. n there's so many jus like me that have turned inward jus to save self from the whispering lies. knowing it was a slide of a card or two that cheated us outta the hands we were dealt. n that shit was more than felt. like me, they too jus gave up. coming to the line where lips felt good to say fuck luv. though it isn't the truth that slid from the tips of tongues that flips useless tones. even bypassing selfish desires that create passionate moans. the linger in life is a misplacement to rarely move. stagnant until appreciative once self has been cut loose. free to believe again so a key can find a lock. somewhere in a great big world the emptiness hasta stop. drifting into a defining situation that makes the wait worth the ache. i don't have any idea where i belong as i save those special expressions upon my face for my moment to simply escape. to come from depths n share who it is i found deep inside. able n willing to enjoy what's left of life.

no fuckery...

damn you if you mean what you say when you're mad. releasing truths so hurtful as they find their path. as if you couldn't tell me how you truly felt all along. hiding intent under your tongue that doesn't belong. n fuck you if you think an apology is going to work. i refuse to the instability of emotional outbursts. so don't go spitting your rage in my ear once you've had enough. because that shit doesn't reflect any true depiction of love. as you can kiss my ass with that childish ass behavior. there is no come back as if t every thing is going to be okay some time later. you can just keep that flip flop nonsense to yourself because i just ain't on it. there is no need to allow that kind of lingering venom to lay upon your lips. you can save every syllable left to marinade in a false presence for the next sucker to come into your life. that isn't the version of friends wanting share a little time. you're actually going to have to grow up to be put to an honest use. i'm not down with the surprise attacks of verbal abuse. all because you feel you can get away with anything in a moment where nothing matters. as my own worth in my heart doesn't need torn nor shattered. to be torn apart as if i could ever be healed with sex. you got me fucked up and you can stay the fuck out of my chest. you need to maintain yourself and mind yourself if we're going to remain. and don't ever loosen up so far you believe that kind of bullshit is okay. i'll tell you to skip bricks and watch them sink. just toe tag your ass knowing bubbles can't breathe. if you're going to come at me with a build up of irritations wanting to be released. i'm gong to be truthful and admit you're someone i just don't need. i don't play those type of games where i smile when you're ready. that is only a remedy of cutting up my worth for you to use as confetti. it ain't going to happen due to i'll leave you standing still all alone. just because you broke down on the other side of the thrill. thinking you can push the limits and see how far you until i adapt to your control. naaaah, you must not be playing with a full fucking deck. or that joker has you twisted with what's going on up in your head. don't ever think i'm going to let you get off on some ol fuckery just because i believe you to be cute. there's always someone else that can keep me amused. and that's just the bare facts if you slip the fuck up. i'll never be disabled due to the vibe of love. i'm too damn mind strong for you to treat me any ol fucking way. if yo don't believe me, try me n watch the expression upon my face. for once they change i'll never look at you the same again. n that's when i'll be done being your biggest fan.

let's go home...

back into the world we go. trying to get to the back of the scene alone. walking backwards into the crowd. trying to blend in without making a sound. hoping to make it to the rear of the hype without being seen. not wanting to be found so a piece of mind can dream. finding comfort in eyes of others lookin forward as we disappear into the pack. one step behind the other never moving to fast. with great patience attempting to make it to the edge of the sea of people we must get past. just to turn away n live with the facts. maybe then no one will notice we don't move with the heard. n how we care not to be voluntarily heard. as feet march on to somewhere else we've never been so the pain doesn't hurt. avoiding heads that spin on a swivel judging self's own worth. as the feeling of belonging clings to a more wide opened space. for it frees up the value expressed upon the face. deep out into the unknow where wind can't carry names. further than where the city lights fade so the mind can be sane. living life n caring about the lil things. listening to the breeze whistle as if it had wings. able to see anyone coming from a mile away. sighing with a relief as if they were ready to leave. as the heart settles in the silence so the body can breathe. needing to shed the weight of everything one has come to know. in no need of imaginary thrones. seeking the peace n quiet far from the population that all act the same. sighing with a piece of mind could never be explained. living out days as luv is shown. let's go home. 

curiosity turned towards u...

would u mind if i held ur hand and stood straight on where it is i stand? what if i promised we could never go wrong? would u be able to see the reality in my eyes just wanting to get along? n do u mind if i touched ur cheek? just so i could feel ur face lean into me. for a lil bit of comfort in my palm for a moment to remain as still as calm. would u mind if i asked u ur name? then told u mine so i could see the reaction upon ur face. hearing them for for the first time is something i'd like to see. as expressions move outside of long awaited dreams. would u mind if i wanted to spend some time to get to know who u are? pausing the heart n shutting off the buzzing of alarms knowing i'm just not looking for a war. for some reason my intent lingers with my curiosity turned towards u. maybe it's the way u carry yourself or even possibly it's the way u move. would u mind if i rambled on for a lil while about absolutely nothing at at? so the silence isn't absorbed by the emptiness of the walls. would u listen if i spoke n dug into the beginnings of a lil thing called hope. would u mind if i actually wanted to get used to u? to simply call a truce n find out who's truly who. to expose each other one itty bitty piece at a time. as usefulness opens up to a touch feeling its wat through life. would u mind if i witnessed u in ur eyes so i knew what u hide that only one can define? taking in their design n the way the colors flow. what if i never wanted to leave u alone? would u be ok if our lips found comfort in a kiss creating a magical spark? feeling the falling of the shield no longer having to stand guard. would u mind if i wanted u to see who it is i am? entering more than my personal space just bcuz u can. as you'd be able to do with me as u like. though lemme start by saying hi!

from then to the now...

chasing thoughts through the mind as if the past could ever be caught. around goes the curve of the lean for speed just to ease into a pause. oh how lost self sinks into trying to gather sense of what confuses the ability to think straight. as there's nowhere to hide when the energy settles in blank expressions upon the face. changing is the memories twisting into an opposing reality that slowly accept the depths needing to live. pulling outta the dwelling on the back end of the trickling effect that confuses emotional ties. the hunt defines the presence of self evolving into true form willing to adjust to a new direction mentally sound. though the interaction from then to the now hasta coexist to transform lessons learned into the correction of what spews from the mouth. as the tongue plays with tones n volumes so the one in the mirror can nod. with a lil time spent alone to reclaim the inner makings of pieces snug to the fit that at first seem so odd. lingering is the search through nights darkened n seeking a flicker to brighten the moods swing. rummaging in between the facts n filtered remains losing images along the way just doin one's own thing. reintroducing the head's content with the chest opened to be happy no matter the situation that comes to go. understanding the winging of winds that whip up whistles whispering soft breaths in the ear. in the aftermath of reinventing the person forgotten within the chaos of prior occasions that come to confirmations where willingness can hear. like the lights turning on n off day in day out so the eyes can see clearly once rest has done its part. mornings rotate so the visual can be appreciated with yawns awakening from a dream of a previous altercation that's shed worth from an absent charm. onlooking with embedded realizations of what to n what not to condone to make something eventually never wanna leave. stretching the smile that longs for the fire to ignite a warmth as bodies meet in the middle of hope's bob n weave.

i loved...

 I loved as no matter what.

I loved when another that was no good for me.

I loved until she forced me to walk away.

I loved because i couldn't help but to be.

I loved when hope thought i gave up.

I loved a single smile for as long as I could.

I loved her at her worst.

I loved because there was only one that my heart felt it should.

I loved even though I was nothing to to her.

I loved with a passion that lived in n leaped from my chest.

I loved deeply more and more every day.

I loved with pure intent.

I loved when a mind was somewhere else.

I loved the way one said they wish they could find someone real.

I loved as my fingers couldn't feel the flesh.

I loved as is to seal the deal. 

I loved well past the moment I should've let go.

I loved with all my heart.

I loved until I found me again.

I loved, and have since healed my wounds that have no scars...

love or lust...

We both know anything can happen in between now n mornings light... N I'm Chris's enough to allow the night to progress bcuz i believe in living life... My guess is well know more as time tics with whatever occurs... Maine we'll find the moments made to be what we need or walk away without a word... Though dinner n a walk around town sounds like a good way to start off... Can never go wrong if the convo presents itself to be as real as u n i in rare form seeming a cause... One that unites intent n lifestyles to have a lil hope to come... But tonight in all honesty me personally, I'm in rush... Maybe we will or possibly we won't reason with the attraction being more than skin deep... Settling the nerve for a lil comfort to simply breathe... On an intellectual level where self can be seen in a way not just anyone is shown... U never know, we could be snuggled up to the awakening of the sun coming up... Or we can say it's been interesting n part ways due to it's only lust... Ima lace it on u to figure if I'd be someone you'd wanna hang out with for a lil bit... With a discrete chance to witness inner makings surface as they attempt to see how it is we fit...