truth is saying it's when you've given damn near every piece of yourself away for a better cause and your left sitting alone...
with a fucked up vision of a lil place called home...
as you've already given up on anyone who comes along because the end is feared long before a beginning can ever create a smile...
tucking emotions away from hands jus wanting to feel on the surface for a lil while...
and it's hard to consider another to fill the empty emotion that jus wants to feel anything but the loneliness that lingers day in n day out...
going a phase where self hasta chance words that are released from the mouth...
not knowing who to trust for what if the right one comes along while seeing about someone else as they keep it moving without u...
yet, who's who when looking for comforts use.?.
forcing the solitude to find comfort in redefining self...
falling more in luv with the solitude than waht's needed due to the heart wants some sorta help...
it's confusing...
as it's even more amusing...
it's weird when people feel they have an interest and they don't even know you...
ready to jumo at the demand of passion tricking desires into cutting loose...
yet, it's not until you begin to see the ones who are different that use finds a reason to mingle...
considering relations as in no longer single...
bringing fear to the surface to be felt...
knowing slashes from the tongue leaves deep whelps...
for eyes jus wanna witness how depths reacts to someone new wanting in...
thinking of the teetering going on inside the mind weighing yays n nays with a grin...
and the balance can go either way because the real ones want a friend...
as there's no way without time to tell when it is to end...
everyone else demands to be loved...
expecting the physical attachments as hands on the body rubs...
it's scary to open up when you know you only have one more chance in you...
with a keen sense of realism that picks shallow prints from the skin abused...
shit happens and if you try a few times over you lose the feel of ever wanting to willingly give in to hope...
all the while jus wanting to create a more pleasure type of moans...
when in actuality you'd rather enjoy the peace and quiet...
flipping back n forth on another's reach for the ease that becomes an issue felt until thoughts can reason with an answer within the silence...
to own a certain piece of mind is as free as luv transforms from being who you are with another to free from the bs to reclaim who you truly are on ur own...
gathering the rule of thumb to measure walls seeking to be blown...
there's things that have to be in order to enter the gates of the mind attempting to reach another level of joy...
in a story of a girl n a boy...
one that not many have the mindset to comprehend the decision of allowing another to get close...
groping the after effects of actions shown...
others are either bitter and not ready themselves of have already gained what the rest of us are still waiting on...
so many of us allowed ourselves to be torn...
n i'm nothing special myself...
running from the trigger squeezed as the living dead isn't a life i choose for self...
i've just learned how to smile no matter what...
as the clown chuckles to make time avoiding the untamed rush...
just because i can...
jus because i refuse to cater to the selfishness i've banned...
because i will never forget who i am again...
n that's jus where i stand...
as i too know what it'll take to get beneath my own skin...
tickling the sensitivity of the ribs...
point being is the matter at hand when it comes to relations is if you're going to be with someone you have to know they're good for you...
that they can think in a situation where two are as one in an individual that moves......
able to feel safe...
to relate...
to communicate...
n reason with being claimed...
having a presence about them that sparks a light on why you should see where things go...
speaking freely to show self in raw form without thrones...
it's a caution taken so there's no option of losing someone else...
help.!.
the goal is to want a long lasting time of ones life...
past the initial demise of the hype...
to find that crave like you do not want to live without them...
having a win win...
knowing you can do more than partake in a motion shared so life itself is lived on both ends equally...
visually...
this is where my mind is at...
where thoughts come to comprehend facts...
lingering in my own time alone...
wondering of the long lost whoas...
in silence...
defiant...
with patience...
living in hesitance...
so i too can live for once...
hoping to obtain a rare luv...
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