perfect place to cry...

i had to go to the shower to cry tonight... not that anyone cares i jus didn't want my son to see it come to life... as the water hid my tears... the steam couldn't hide the emotion i felt that was real... even my face was like wtf.?. the shimmy down the cheek was absent to the touch... i felt it comin as i held it in... n i got outta the room in the nick of time as it came from within... buildin up pressure as i escaped before the moisture fell... it was as if my heart began to melt... drippin the the flow that couldn't calm my nerves... n i'm jus glad i wasn't heard... it hurt jus a tad bit more than usual a lil while ago... tryin to give him what i lost fuckin around with luv as a home...

stay away...

no one can see u cry if ur all alone... n u can't hurt an other if u don't give in to luv... hidden behind the curtains of a smile u can camouflage the heart... secretly within the feel of the way it's been burnt to a char... emotion flips a switch to show teeth without a grunt... runnin from words that claim the lies of unwanted trust... goin in n outta the dark as if double dutchin unloadin fun... shuttin down on the feelin jus to simply go numb... u cannot turn someone against u if u stay to yourself... as in today's world they truly don't need ur help... life can move on with those who have found somethin to enjoy... we don't havta fake the phunk tryin to fill a void... in the silence of our solitude we can sit behind closed doors... people forget who we are so it'll neva matter to sit in a room in the middle of the floor... jus tryin to comfort the pain no one else can see... rockin it to sleep listenin to the way it breathes... none of us havta feel the other side of relations if they neva exist... as lips need not pucker to the eventual absence of a kiss... there's no reason to take anyone's passion here in life n ride it til there's nothin left... isolation can cause others to go find happiness as it is us that doesn't need to be felt... slowly dyin without the touch that can crush the tenderness settled in to the hope... we neva havta give in as a house doesn't need to become a home... jus fall back n reside in the depths of darkness n refuse the temptations to loose ur fuckin mind... there is another way to live life...

why can't i have mine.?.

i get mad so i don't havta cry.... as it only works for so long so i hide... the emotion hurts as this is how i spend time... i hate it here even though i luv life... this world has no morals as it is fucking blind... n i'm having moments where i cannot hold in the lines... as i use social media to lift me up n dry my eyes... i wish no one the pain in which i truly live beneath the smiles n sighs... i was happy once as i was fine... once upon a while ago in a prior chapter as luv spilled like wine... staining what joy i had n dulling my shine... i hate it here as i'm forced to watch everyone live as i grind... i turn the raw truths into the darkness of where there is no light... afraid to be touched as i have my reasons of why... yet butch seems to be the one who's wise... when in actuality i jus wanna shut off the light... jus turn inward n forget of the things that twisted me while i was still alive... to be tortured by hard work that neva pays off jus ain't right... as it was my choice in which what came of the result as it was i that has died inside... n i'm so sick of livin through these endless rhymes...

what are my options.?.

i know i can't... but i wanna tap out... yet givin in to the struggle isn't the way... my back hurts n there's nothin in life i have time to do other than work to correct what's gone south... my body aches from givin everything i can... life is truly beatin me down... there is no help that can save me n this i know... as it isn't about bein to proud... it's like i'm in a grave as it is... lost n hurt by a legal system that has no morals as everyone to it is damn near a clown... n idk what to do to to even find even relations that i cannot bring into this hellish bs... alone i feel n i've neva once look my feet off the ground... it was a choice that went to far... followed up by the corrections that took the same road as i can't even rent a house... it hurts knowin mine are dependin on me n my hands are tied... as i simply do not speak of my emotions of the topic claimin silence over sound... but i need an outlet to be able to enjoy some kinda time... somethin to get me by as my heart from the chaos has been bound... hog tied n shoved to the side... as i don't know which way to turn as every door gets shut in my fuckin face as if i am not worthy like wow... n i hide from this world as everyone else lives their lives... havin the memories i havta shy away from unable to get in to my mind that cannot be found... i jus need the noose loosened so i can go home... as it seems that doesn't even exist as i'm beginning to feel defeated now...

The move...

I've had to share everyone I was ever with... Whether it be bcuz of some sort of substance that had them cheating as if that's what it took or they jus couldn't help talking about an ex which is irrelevant... Never have I truly had anyone to myself... Even though along the way for a brief moment in time I was felt... There was always another lifestyle or silly reason why I had to go... To here them tell it, their luv didn't want me no mo... As time itself spun into future altercations that told a different version once I was gone... N the heart didn't know how to respond due everyone seemed to have the same identical tendencies to do someone wrong... Either it be deliberate or not knowing what selfish acts can actually do... Five relations within twenty three years n I'm spent like lost money on a life that was never mine while emotion jus doesn't wanna move...  I jus wanna be greedy for once without ever having to tell someone not to do what their true intent is gonna wind up doing... As it's not that I'm abusive or boring... I believe they have a mental condition of others fuckin with their heads so they make the first move... N it's me with my heart open cut the fuck loose... It's a played out tune that defines what luv never was... People jus want the feel of that initial rush... Unable to dig in n feel something real enough to reside with an other...  All they fuck with is those they can call luv'rs...

What eyes have witnessed...

It was aa dar place that left scars to tender to touch... Swallowing up the shallows howling with the heart drowning in luv... The fear of the thought of goin back tears up in wells hiding in the shadows... It is silent beyond sound as u can hear emotion cry in the hollows... Emptied is a deserted tomb in which haunts whatever walks in to it's realm... As the scraps of claw marks have been dug in to it's memory as there is no help...  In solitude it will hold u against ur will if not mentally strong enough to overcome the way it twists depths in the pitch of it's blackened hole... As the comfort it gives will teach u there's is no such place as home... Afraid u will sit in a room isolated lookin through a window at life passing with a goodbye... It'll hurt u in ways pain laughs n the mind snaps the chest open to dig out any reasons of why... It's such a place you'll find ur best friend in conversation as the mirrors mimic motion... Goin through thoughts that hide from the whispers not wanting to be heard due to the cling of devotion... N once it's gotten in it eats u from the inside out... Takin ur will that steals ur appearance without a sound... It knows nothing of the joy u once lived... As it emences to the breaking of each n every individual rib... Drifting from sanity it owns the mind as the rest of existence follows it down a path not everyone comes back from... Yet it'll hold u as if it luv's u as u run... Tryin to shake it in the cracks of ur chambers where u do not think it has been... Knowin with it, it is no fuckin way to live... Ur gonna have fight for ur freedom as u stand up swinging... To feel something other than it's ways slowly lingering... As it is a choice to live or die... Finding the darkness is the same as living within the pine...

My way...

I like to bend a woman over n slow dance inside of her... as deep as I can fit... Ooh her moans in the moment of her lips wrapped around my dick in both senses as I emence to lickin on her clit... Switching some shit up as long as I can nut back side as she takes bein persuasively accused of turning me on... Hair running through my fingers... Grinding as if playin in her jus bcuz I like feelin like i'm in a porn... N if she's touched jus right sex in the air lingers... Wits placed in the bed to get wet deep within where only a good cock can reach again n again... Turn around n arch ur back... O my fuck yeah holy mmmmmmmmmmmmm daaamn... Verbally moaning as on her gspot I land... Thrusting my way to pure pleasure wrapped jus right... As the pelvis finds the mood... Digging in to is this mine.!? Woooo!!!

as real as it gets...

being held jus isn't good enough... i do't feel u unless i can have u for all time... friends ain't shit if like refuses to enter into the realm of luv... as eyes speak even more than a kiss could eva rhyme... if it's not all in there's no use in digging in to the emotions u seek... time will only get swept under the rug as the past won't even be able to be remembered as something special... on the leave that swore to stay as words become older than the stone in which the carving was etched...rearranging the shape of expressions wanting to remain the same as the transformation teaks the confused facials... pride being the enemy as whispers from surrounding sources that have no say so to what's going on inside... lesson seem to teach the negative end of danger due to no one feels the need to accept who it is opened up stuck in a pause of wanting to receive the power of luv... forgotten in a place where time couldn't walk in to the now of home... short term joy is nothing more than a mere thought that becomes a once was...

for neva long...

embedded into the memory where the attachments remember who they are...

it's a wicked game as they linger through the mind trickling down into the heart...

jus wanting to make luv to someone new to prove every one of them beyond the terms of wrong...

that time isn't a waste on the feel of an other as a friend like no other to far gone...

in luv as backs are watched washed n rubbed for the tending to is a need on both ends...

the want n the giving being the eraser of what's been known of relations as they walk into life...

talking in a subtle tone that neva changes the thought process of who two has come to be known as one...

legs has no purpose to spin on the running away as if crazy on the loose can't even keep up with done...

it's the occuranceing the moment that can speak of a better way to correct the state in which lived...

destroying everything that's built up to a time where norm transforms into the imaginations wits...

branded in all that's good that's come along to rip the bs from the well being of who used to be...

curled up late at night turning into the cuddle of worth extracting comfort from a silent dream...

within what's changed...

should be kicked back with a woman on my chest... yet i allowed others to half step... seems all the lil things only meant so much... n here i am sittin alone with avoid of luv... seems to be the houses in which i've lived neva became a home... as i wonder what life woulda been like if one would of stepped up n got at life n did somethin other than take my bone... it changed the way i think not havin the cars n the garage to slip them in to... materials lost their value in my own heart jus wantin to be put to use... faces shift shaped as emotion transferred the feelin from one to the next... but it was their choice to live a different type of life watchin my give what i had i my chest... i neva wanted to be jus another luv'r... it wasn't my intent for relations to switch positions as someone else over them hovers... but at least it isn't somewhere my hard earned life has build givin in to friendly foes... walls neva keep the same pics on the roll around the bend into come full circle as who they are now is truly known... playin with the honesty of what normal has become... i've drifted away on my own to recalculate  the space in between the middle of opportunity waitin on some real luv... as the door to elsewhere will close for good as arms hold the rise of hard work diggin in... this is what i think of as others have let me down time n time again... knowin i had a choice that chose them to get with it... until the circumstances changed the situation neva to feel their tender lips... gone is everything lost some time ago... as it's not only me empty with a void on every level of afraid of smiles cloned...

switchin up...

it hurts to know there's somethin in this world u luv n u cannot have it... until u let it go n those fellings change into u wish u neva had it.... everything was meant to change...

peachy peaches...

understand me as i refuse to underestimate u... i know what i am capable of so i know damn well all about truths... there is no difference as we want the same fuckin thing... live, luv, friends, family, n that one person that will never even think to leave... fillin the pot with as much as we can to stuff in... twisted n jus fine comin from within... be who in the fuck u are... i need to see u come the fuck apart... who is it i am.?. but one man... knowin u ain't handicapped... n the challanges of a mental state doesn't need a recap... relate n i will wash ur back... pickin up the slack to free urs up... like over luv...

teal tears...

whisper my my name n see if it reaches me... i'm listenin yet i jus cannot hear a thing... i wanna feel ur own emotion breathe it's life in face... i'm so fuckin tired of bein lonely as i've neva had a friend to come away from the lace... it's not the sex that a man wants to endure...  it's a fuckin real individual that has a lil time to knopw we're both comfortably secure... adored.. n so much more... seen dancin n the patterns that make up the definition in the eyes... change my mind... jus don't be alarmed if i wanna pull back bcuz i see things playin out in my thoughts n i don't wanna hurt anyone... i'm jus tryin to find my own fuckin time goin home... i'm not attemptin to play any kinda games... as i should prolly man up n admit i'm petrified of what could turn into hate... n all i wanna do is wrap my arms around her n neva let her the fuck go.!. in perfect tone... with teal tears on my tanned face... fed up with the wait...

idk shit...

u ever wondered if u passed a good one up.?. like u seen them but decide other things would conflict with the necessities of luv... how does one choose who to share time with before old age closes our own written book.?. i find myself a waste of good that is rottin in words that'll prolly neva do any good... when u ain't like no one that crosses the eyes line of sight lookin for a lil attention themselves... maybe it's bcuz i finally let go of someone that changed who it is i was into what sits here tappin out... not given a fuck of what others think as if they have a better way they don't even understand as if too proud... i believe my blinded eyes walked on by as they watched me loosen up for the retreat afraid of relations... n it's not that i'm not ready, i jus don't do gratifications... honestly there's nothin wrong with me... i jus don't wanna live in a dream.... i can't be felt as me if i can't be who it is that stands sore here in this loopy azz craze... i think i rethought a few times over to to rethink it all over again now caught in a daze... wtf is emotion if it doesn't wanna crack to be pried open.?. there's things i don't understand here as confusion gets lost in the corrosion... hopin one day it's all the way in that doesn't fade... neva to have to try to remember their name... faced with the expressions shapin the drift away as sails breeze into the misplacement of a friend... as i ask myself who is it i truly think i am to think anyone is so much different...

if i had to send a telegram...

i'm light weight buzzed so fuck it... we all have another side... who in the fuck wants to be in me ends of days.?. come crawl into my mind... make luv to the thoughts that have went without for so long... be someone i'd fuckin miss.. i need a companion who blows in to fill the void... poof, vamoose it goes out the back door to seize the cambers of an others time... i wanna feel free to rest my head in ur direction... come on in n bring me to life... be that edge that no other wants to be... i'd fall... loose the burden of tellin myself everyone's the same... please, climb my walls... it's open season as my secret is i'm dying to be touched in a way ur fingerprints embed themselves deep into my memory... show yourself ya coward... i know u bcuz i'm scared as well...  stick around after sex n join me in the middle of a shower... like is the earliest form of luv post the physical attraction... take me outta my head n replace my words with ur name... i wanna think of the way u can;t help but to look at me... show ur face...

all or somethin else.!?

if u wanna live with em in ur head... by all means i'd rather fuck with someone else... i don't wanna be categorized as it hasn't a chance to survive... n i ain't tryin to hurt anyone as i to jus wanna be felt... ur choice is if i stay or go by ur own actions... flames have nothin to do with luv for they burn a heart that doesn't truly melt... call me free from the chaos defrostin as water levels rise... out the pores to many times have past me by as my head sat on a tilt... i can not compete with the friction of others that irritate ur energy beyond restless... emotion jus wants someone to get close enough to help... as finer things come to realize touch is the key to pleasure... fortune in relations is where we dwell... i'd go around u like the curvage of earth if we were to get involvled n u not bein ready... straight through u as tears fill ur swells... as i jus can't do it to u bcuz i know what it is i like n it's the only thing that'll ease me... kissin neva speaks as lips see the interaction blabberin belligerently jus for recognition of ownership tellin what needs not be told in the same sentence as other before my presence of hell... let's skip the backgrounds n have a looksie at who actually exists within without the interference of others as the saftey has no net to catch emotion... fallin in to fell, to fall out of luv as if it smells... rotten n wastin away as someone appreciates character is walkin alone... so u can go down on me as it won't mean a damn thing to spend a night with u workin with my barbell...

legal or not...

i ain't neva been on shit as weed from time to time is not a fuckin drug!!! u addicts need to get ur legal bs story straight so the facts stand to neva loose the luv... pointin back n forth like the shits cute bein mentally challenged from the poison u pump in to ur systems... slowly killin yourself in a long term suicide talkin of the ones that fell like we miss them... ignorance has no idea of any other way than one in which is bs in its own... n fuck u to if u think i'd dive down a path as i was guilty by association n i neva did a fuckin thing but work my azz off as pay stubs are proof that need not be shown... two birds to the confusion u cause due to thoughts that jus go with the flow of the feel in the mood society makes up off the top of its head... u do not exist if the doubt spoke of my name from ur lips for u shoulda known i wanna live past the point of when i lay dead... substances vary to potency of choice n law given rights that have to natural reason to interfere with the way we live... whether it is liquid oral smoked or injected, a drug is a drug sold for profit to create revenue in the medical fields lies to heal the tickle in our ribs... f.u.ck. y.o.u. i know who my friends are for they luv me n neva thought twice of my character bein tested without a thought of a fuckin god to hold my imaginations hand... i stood the fuck up as a man with no quit, no surrender as i neva ran... i didn't turn up, i clocked the fuck in... i earned my keep as materials are worthless to the energy i have for there is no interest for fake foes passin themselves off as my buddy tryin to get back in.... doors locked n guns cocked... think not... i chose to eradicate the tasks before me as it's me i got... so stop... Addicts.... Yes.!. I'll fuckin say it... I don't care if u get pissed... I'm tired of hearing the bs... Accept what u are... Or know I don't have time for u in my heart... I can't fuck with y'all... Same ol same ol same ol fighting from two different sides of legal law doin the same ol shit.... Yeeeehaw!!?  R.I.P. it's heard from my lips... raw!!! 

when thoughts is all there is...

goin with the flow of the thought that comes to mind... missin the feel of an other laid up emjoyin a lil piece of time... usin the feels that rest on the edge of lettin go... to live for a bit jus to figure if someone new could fill the emptiness in the room... driftin with the warmth comin from the other side of the bed... in luv with the way a body clings to the flush collision so in tuned with what is remembered in the head... loosenin up to the natural way emotion rips through the skin to be felt from deep inside... for a brief minute as seconds tick like a heartbeat reachin for an ear laid upon the chest showin there is life... as the visions get lost in who could be that one person lost in a moment to wanna open up n begin to breathe... as the images move in the creativity wantin out to be at one with the wants n needs... like fingers strokin the ribs jus right where chuckles lay await benath the caress of a luv'rs will to enjoy a smiles curve... jus to roll over n fall back to sleep hopin they'd be walkin into the mornin as a new kinda worth...

fuckin with the blame...

halted by the heart due to the terms n conditions of the fake smile lookin to get what they want... paused in motion as still as the feel gone unseen neva put to use jus bcuz self got hurt once in the middle of luv... trust lingers in eyes for second before the designed switches the lips direction always driftin on the someone else...  stunned in aw as the shock of betrayal broke the reactions fellin away from the one chose to dig in n help... frozen in tears makin the eyes blur through the bs as clear as day... in the stillness unwrapped by arms that once held free takes on a new meanin jus to capture what was so fuckin alive playin with the way the mouth shapes names... shit changes as time repeats patterns as others step up to escuvate the tomb in which has been locked to a tight seal to hide what is no longer to jus be given away to strangers... fallen is the heart into emotionless trip as the plunge feels the fear of fallin all the way away from the danger... hidden behind eyes that lie to sights as stares wanna run lookin for the weakness of not bein able to go without the times layin about... held ceased to filter friends from foes in the mix of the wait so hesitant to the opened mind as thoughts find a gapin whole wantin to be filled by what can be spoke of out loud... calm n in the mood of comfort the tears dry to witness an other willin to remain for a lil while... finally blamin self for the turn that went in to far with thw signs that walked for them to many miles...

for the birds...

one time of losin ur cool n i'm walkin away... friends don't treat one an other that way... if u eva forget who it is i am to u i'm out... i don't have the patience to wait around... not if u don't have the presence of mind to remain here with me... emotion isn't a reason to flip off at the gums as u cannot control ur wild azz greed... for luv is selfish in a way we want someone to make us feel good... not in the reverse movement of runnin away from a friend bcuz they cannot restrain from that hateful look... keep ur cool n talk to me or it's poof... gone on the next mission to recalculate worth all due to u wanted to act like a goof... i ain't playin when i say ur gonna havta line up with the mindset in which speaks to u comin out to play... otherwise our time together will come to close as two people incompatible of what it takes to get along in the middle of callin names...

what is it u want.?.

in u want as u will get if u have a mind to tangle with mine... as emotion rests on the level head needin a fresh breath of air for once to reside in the moments of neva leavin my side... no matter the issue or task it takes to get to know me... i'm me n that's all i will eva be able to see lookin in the mirrors scene... jus don't eva try to chain me down or change who it is i am... i cannot be someone i am not in ur mind of silhouettes waitin to live as ur biggest fan... we can talk all night if it's somethin u wanna truely tell me as the night moves with our heartbeats... watchin the flames give our faces shadows to be seen with the naked eye... if u want me ur gonna havta open up so i can see if anyone else resides where it is i'm supposed to live... as  we hang hammocks somewhere in between the chuckles of any one of the ribs... feelin fingers stroke the ease of relaxation upon the skin actin as a shell... if u wanna dig u don't need a shovel for i am right here waitin to see u in rare form as for u passion quietly went under ur spell... u jus gotta reach for me as i meet u half way somewhere beneath where we've buried the reason to live... down where the roots haven't been dug up as true intent finds the movement of jibberin lips... tellin everything there is to know as secrets loosen up for the tenderness of luv... i jus don't have time to wait around for u to figure out if it's me u want...

placed in time...

this is my life written to move in lines... as i attempt to get outta my head... loosenin up for at some point another chance at luv... placed here to become my past so i can free self of the mask... hidin what others don't know about the days gone with moans... tappin on the ticker awakenin the minds rush sendin blood back into my heart even thicker... there's things that's gone untold that i create here no matter how bold... as age is catchin my face loosin grounds of what norm is to others embraced... livin a different kinda mess as i've come to terms with i did my best... neva wantin to see another moment a friend forgets who i am as if i'm nothin more than a luv'r... times up as taps land on letters ventin to free what used to matter... to get on n live with what it i have left to give...

comin to life...

caught up in ur rhythm... movin to the sway of ur system... in the middle of ur distance closin in... eye to eye with a smurk choosin... like a flame dancin with the mood... it's u n i left alone here in this room... found n no longer seekin the vibe bouncin of the fuckin walls... names here are enjoyed as they are called... feelin the way shadows mix into one in the same shape... catchin the expressions released from the aww upon the face... in sync with each movement comin to life... this is u on me as i'm in u breakin free from the mind... with a sensation that sends ripples through the heart... we are a work of art.!.

all i've eva wanted...

seems all i eva wanted was to pour my heart out into someones eyes... to neva havta turn to see someone else's face get embedded in to my very own mind... n it's nights like tonight that make me question the mentality of others that come along to jus waste some fuckin time... n i don't mean to reflect on past skies that hovered on the luv i've expressed that heard me cry... as i've come to a place here in life where it's come full circle for me to stand back up after the roller coaster ride... feelin the goodbye's fall from the fingertips knowin the emotional danger has died... there's nothin sadder than a friend that finds a new way without self as their help standin still become lies... thinkin over n again of answers that neva come into the replacement of questions of why.?. rememberin how words on lips whispered in to ears that no longer feel the need to reside... they jus can't help the temptation of pride gettin in the way of a friendship callin out in the dark moments as they hide... in my case it was a different kinda lifestyle that took my opened heart out for a spin as it came back somewhat different in the way it's willin to hold any other who wants in to dine... searchin for who it is i am waitin on someone who can remain still long enough to show me somethin more real than jus someone so fuckin blind... it's the substances they chose that tore me limb from limb as they had their way with the depths reached behind closed doors hidden n afraid of the dive... n i know there's better things to come as i've healed past the booze, pills, n heroine that ripped me into someone more wise... as strangers came along n found me lookin at a foe due to their own lil games n twisted ways that forced me to let them go bcuz i jus couldn't hold on to the pine... lowered into the empty well drained of the tenderness as i've even heard one tell me they hated me to push me away from their selfish addiction clingin to them so alive.,. all i've eva wanted was somethin more than a daydream witnessin me seekin the piece of me in them that finds a home as passion flies... in luv with the peace within relations that somehow catches a glimpse of what it is that peeks back at them n says, hi.!.

Neva trippin...

I don't wanna trip over my emotion wondering what in the fuck ur doin...
I keep mine close to me n they jus wanna know where my head is goin...
Those lil itty bitty spectacles that make everything spectacular are tender...
N I've been twisted enough so I hold em tight so they ain't selfishly rendered...
To get to my passion ur gonna havta go through me with some kinda purpose...
I'm not one to let u in so I feel as empty as like n luv feels worthless...
Tucked deep away from the wind so the breeze don't catch feelings to quick...
They rest knowin I have their best interest in mind nn w ain't about to trip...
Not gonna be landing in someone else's life without them entering our own...
Lookin for the long haul off neva again to be left utterly alone...
Things have changed on the management level so eyes can see more clearly...
N I'm hoping I don't have repeat myself n u hear me...

So I wait...

Jus waiting on someone I cannot go without... Takin in to consideration of their own whereabouts... As what surround them effects me in the long run... Knowin if there's an issue in their life luv with them will be no fun... There's a certain smile I look for... In the eyes is where luv is truly adored... Sittin with the hands of time ticking away... Tryin not to let the lonely moments reach the expressions on my face... Jus watching interest come n go... Givin some attention here n there until I tell myself no... Feeling the attachment reach I think of where things will end up with what I know of... N I've met a few that coulda gave run for my money in the middle of luv... Yet it's their surroundings even taken in to consideration... I don't want relations that end in humiliation... I'm not one to come between others so I pull back... Drop off the face of the Earth so friendships can remain intact... Mature n with it as not everyone can be together jus bcuz they get along... There's some that can be as close as friends that can achieve healthy relations neva to go wrong... As passion itself is a rare deep sensation that comforts every fuckin mood... So I wait n wonder if it's past me on the move...

goodbye my luv'r...

there's a song by "james blunt" that kills me as it plays "goodbye my luv'r"... the pain n the suffering in which the message speaks to me hurts as i to hav let go of an other... there's truth in the tone that's displayed through the sound of raw emotion reaching the lips... i can feel it sting jus beneath the expressions of a luv lost as i sleep alone... without my own addiction i can admit i was a friend before anything as it was a moment in time that i felt home... n if u were to listen to the words tell someone it is over u to will feel a loss witht he releasing of hands... as the hollow comes back around to show where life has wound up as a woman or a man... somewhere in a place we never thought existed... after sharing the things that make relations worth the songs final steps to jus say farewell... with a memory of tears n smiles that crept in to be released as we entered that slow neva ending dwell... yet, to go back is by all means a fuck no.!. all bcuz i know it was a one way street in which i've learned a but about figurative thrones...

Neglection (PUNKS PIECE)

due to neglection of the past
my reflection is due at last
reflecting my choices that mold as a cast
i slowly feel the inevidble wrath
of what we call a soon to be path
but as the path splits
we lose ourselves in reality
the fake oppression slits
we lose our confidelity
but as a newcoming awakens within
we realize we win to lose
pain is prolonged
thru the smiles your sadness will ooze
until we wrongly rewrite our wrongs
convert them thru songs
is what we seem to due as remedies
trying to connect and relate thru similes
yet we fail to see connection comes thru within
 so lets get back to where we begin....... NEGLECTION

bottom line...

let's rock the wood into splinters until we havta sleep on the floor...
wake up the next mornin n beg each other for even more...
we can admit through motion how much we feel alive...
n how time sits still long enough to get away by each others side...
trippin on the lines written of who we are together...
as luv'rs n friends grippin hands held tight as if there is no other...
let's get wrapped up in the mood n break the fuckin bed...
it isn't like we couldn't get another one after we fuck like the visions in our heads...
tappin out only when that kaboom reaches the tips of the feel...
makin the night roll over into the early mornin as somethin so real...
still layin about lookin to remain as is as days play out...
listenin to the sounds  bouncin from the walls out loud...
gimme what u wanna n don't hold back...
make me drift into ur tomorrow as i do more than last...

i'm the weird one..

they say i ain't right in the head... that my kinda so called crazy doesn't rest... so how is it others find they can relate to me if my thought process is out there.?. bringin their own thoughts outta their heads as reality cocks a wibble on the neck as they stare... with a voice to speak words they cannot seem to find... tell me bcuz i'd like to know how i'm singled out here in the middle of life...

without a friendship...

Without the friendship luv'rs ain't shit... Jus a quick hit em up n stick it in... So relations must be upfront as emotions can get twisted being resisted... As hesitance is manifested by false verbal communication regarding from the lips... Jus wantin to exist for a moment interested in gettin a preview of the stimulation of the clit arousing the dick... With a lil spit the insertion tends to fix the mindset caught up in the passions grip... As hips grind in the friction that's been missed... Deep penitration rips holes in boundaries as hands insists on bodies switching positions on the flip... Slippin within once again to feel the ribs when done as individuals split... Lies not need to contradict the enclosed thoughts captured for pleasures moans... Without a friendship there's no use in callin a house a home...

think of me...

i jus wanna fuck with ur head until u see me for who i am... until u need to feel my hands as they land... with the sway of ur body moved by ur mind... i wanna go deeper than that wet spot in which u drip as i take my time... to make u want me in the same way u say u do with a lil more intensity to fuel the mood... developin deep within the center of ur minds roots... drivin the thought of me further in to ur driftin memory banks... as i reach ur emotions willin to climb out givin thanks... i feel the need to cross through ur curious mind... temper with the way u think of me n redirect ur attention towards my life... walkin in correspondence with the matters of ur heart... jus fuck around n work u as if a piece of art...

her own enjoyment...

She doesn't want a man with a lil stick... Bcuz she has a man's mentality n doesn't wanna admit it... Her lusts are dirty as tacky feeds her thrills... She jus wants a man to go down as if he has gills... Tongue swimmin in her juices thrivin to get it in... All she needs is a hard cock deep within... The freaky type that aims to please... She luv's to be placed on her knees... Shoved full of the feel of penetratin thrusts... She even likes to be face fucked... The enjoyment makes her panties wet... As her orgasms wanna be put to the test... Not givin a fuck what others think goes on behind closed doors... For one man she can luv she'll become his whore... To use n feel on... N at times her clothes from her body to be torn... From the bed to the kitchen floor... A piece of work with knowin who she is... For the sex is a masterpiece grippin her hips... Lost in each n every moan talkin some off the wall shit... As all she wants is some good dick... Cravin the desire to have it erect at her mercy... But for others neva bein thirsty... From the luv makin to the uncontrollable bangin of he pussy gettin pounded... She's been bad n jus needs to feel treated as if she's well rounded... A sex object so the flow of the gush can tingle in between her legs... All the while wantin to see the expressions she causes upon his own face... Playin in cum on her lips to give the affect of worth alive n kickin... A sweet lil thing she is as she's lickin... Suckin to feel it in her mouth... As she cannot go without...

jus me here...

twist me like a sponge to squeeze what's left of others out... i believe it'll blow ur mind that there's nothin to find layin about... i've drained the expressions it took to free myself from such loneliness.... as i sit all dried up jus a waitin n possibly feelin happiness... i have nothin in me that needs to hide from someone like u... i'm past the point of goofiness of holdin on to what neva made it past the lack of proof... so dig in n seel what u cannot find beneath the shallows of the skin... shit goes deep n it's hollow as it echoes no ones name within... feel the walls bare to the essence of what could hang... i've been retrained to move on as only i remain the same...

hush...

talk to me on a level where we make sense... so mentally i can ease up... givin in to the physical aspect of relations... as sex connects emotions to the like n the luv of neva lookin for what's up next... listen to hear me as i speak no lie... trust slips from under the tongue as hidden intent passin time... within the touch that fondles life... tell me who it is i am to u in the middle of an emotional rush... is it i am the same person to u when lips let loose of how u luv me so much.?. intense... it's the alliance of passion goin all the way that rests the suspense... groundin gravity to the soles of a home as we empty our minds... relatin to the understandin of the rare individuals that can shine... defined in lusts buildin a likeliness for trust... twistin i could use someone like u into musts... as the mood neva fuckin gets bent... as days together are spent tuned in to what it is lent... hush... that is if ur not actually lookin for luv...

the only one...

i've shared others i neva wanted to... so tell me now if i ain't enough for u... don't be someone other than who i see standin before me... to think of u in someone else's arms jus might kill the dream... i've had to give up on others seekin attention elsewhere like i wasn't shit... n it hurts to dig some from the ribs... the tickle tends to rip the sensitivity of laughter from the heart... n i jus wanna feel u goin wild within me as my mind needs no bars... i've been forced to adapt to life without others that chose a different path... walked solo without luv to the point i was no longer mad... so if ur comin, come on, but know i'm selfish like luv is intended to be... as the only one touchin u here in reality...

self consultation...

no one breaks us but self... we allow it... we see the signs... we choose to deal with it... it's on us as self... we're responsible for our own lives... get over yourself n own that shit!!! live!!! speak own worth from loosened lips... help comes from within... felt comin to life in the ribs... motivated by our own head sittin on tilt... lookin back at this world half cocked n findin humor in the bullshit...built from the walls within that allow others to come n go as words find lines... get a grip... hold on n enjoy the trip... it's urs if u wanna take control of ur mind so u can appreciate ur time... 

u cannot have me...

fuck what you've been taught of or been through with others who share the same gender as i... they ain't me... f.u. that's why my birds fly.!. i'm not gonna subject myself to a past u cannot let go of... that ain't the type of shit i call luv... u can take it on down the road n go down on someone else... i don't need my life fucked up anymore than what has already been actin like i want help... my emotions do not feel the need to loosen up to such foolishness... i've come to far than to give in to u pretendin to be grown n lookin for a way to blame yet another for the loss of ur happiness... don't come a knockin if u ain't tryin to get to fuckin with life in the same way i do... bcuz that childish azz bulsshit  i can't get used to... flush yourself out n start all over n maybe then we cane get after what u think u need from me... there's a certain way i wanna release the life in which i breathe... u cannot have me with the way u speak of ur ex's for it's distasteful as i do not wanna live as a memory the way they do... i ain't no one you've been fortunate enough to intertwine with...  as even that sounds disgustin comin from ur lips... 

puttin us together...

i jus wanna fit like a piece of the puzzle that makes ur life... n u can be the moments spent placin memories together in mine... like curved edges to round out in an image outside of the imagination takin place... i wanna see u n i upon the wall hangin out in a frame... watchin over our home as we turn the lights off to live tha magic behind closed doors... fingers placed on the hearts callin deep within the core... there's nothin i wouldn't do to build a structure worth the fill of good times laughin with a smile through our eyes... it's that fallin on to the table where hard work feeds the luv as friends rotate through a day back to base as we reside... located in our hearts as no home can tame where it is we get to goin so the mind can remember what it is we do... as i won't stop bcuz i don't know how to once i've been put to use... sittin with u as the jigsaw enlightend patterns that match... u do the math... we can be whateva we wanna be if u come real with the way u touch the details of who i am... n all i want is someone who can get down with the man i am... as we get lost in the pics assembled puttin us together... in a lifetime known as forever...

Truth of the matter is...

I don't want u unless I can have more than ur vajayjay... I wanna walk through ur mind... To hear u say my name... So we can enjoy life... There is no coming back from where I wanna wind up... I want it all or it's nothing I have to give... I'm talking about that tenderness of some real good luv... As I see me with u somewhere else willing to live...

In the beginning...

Steppin into relations... Wondering of the findings of debation... What limits will be reached upon lips where actions either meet or fall short... To upshift or downshift is time tellin truths as to if it's the acceleration or the break being shoved through the floor... As the ease is cheerful to find someone willing to connect... Heroin the heart can live free to dive into depths... That newnfresh feeling gives hope to a mental image coming to life... Willing to find out if they are indeed in our lives to ride or die... With emotion floating on ripples no longer lost at sea... There's a different way in which way we breathe... Wanting to give in n allow life to run its course... Listening to the way the beast within roars... Needing to play with someone to help time make memories that neva fade... Taking notice in the pronunciation of the way they say our name... In the stages where figuring what's good tends to become enough or hell to the naw... A friend will open up n dig in with gentle paws... Tampering with many levels to get to the good shit that refuses to hide... As it's not the kiss but that look in their very own eyes...

Your own lil secret...

So as I found the courage to say what it was I needed to with you on my mind... Words came with ease as I jus released what letters wanted to find... Expressin a deeper depth that clung to you in silence feeling so alive... I was blown away by your own lil secret that hit me in the heart causing my own breaths to sigh... From the way u dug in to crawl beneath what only others can wonder to see... I let you in and life itself changed in the way intensity began to please... Unfolding hidden interests that calmed the beasts growl as you touched me jus right... I fell in luv with your own skill level that made a fool of my very own pride... Dropped at your feet to live so luv would be liked beyond the wildest ends of my imagination... Bcuz of you the head fixed all the prior indentations... So in tuned with what it is I felt for you, my jaw hung on its hinge to come to know of a use you had for me... Whispered into my ear late at night as we rolled nakedly through our bed so irotically it could very well be a dream... Rollin n flippin and switching positions until the tenderness jus can't get on... As it's you I awaken to looking at me the way you do every morn... Set for life with what relations possess as my time I place in your hands so I know my friend will always be here... For there is no other secret within me that holds a candle to the way we sway so near...

My lil secret...

If I could somehow bring myself to kiss you the way my luv had tried to give emotion away in my past... With a rare touch felt so deep by pressing my lips upon yours receiving what wants to open up to you but on blast... Where would I wind up in time to come as people change mindsets that effect free will to want the need of an other.?. As I'd only be looking for a friend to look in the return of sight in my direction as a one of a kind luv'r... If I built up enough nerve to come out and play with you here in the middle of life jus to show u the man I've been hiding... Could I have what I thrive to find in someone piecing together a life with all the joys trials n stipulations that await a creative smile so fuckin erect we'd be in the presence of trying.?. With a strong sexual desire that cannot get enough of the orgasms that multiply on the feel of tongues speaking of all our dirty lil secrets... If u brought me to life in and outta the bed as the collision feels as close to perfect as life itself lived as luv resides in the interest... If I spoke of what rests behind my eyes when I witness you doin what it is you do... Who would I become too you as if I were dying to feel you closer than I've ever felt anyone race through me when landing flush.?.






Trust..?

The joy of u...

I don't need u, I want u... Until my emotions come out to play, n luv u... I think about u... I feel the desire to explore u... As I jus wanna get to know u... To hold u... To show u... I jus wanna be good to u... Move with u... Layin flush in due time with u... I wanna create a groove with u... Yeah u... Jus bcuz if like to know if I can trust u... I could use someone like u... If u can tensio who I see as u... I can give to u... All the things relations havta have I have to set before u... The thought of more of u... The secrets that make u, u... To touch u... To feel u... To express my him of u... So I can see if it is me who betters u...

selfish over u...

Luv is selfish....
So what I want you for myself...
I'd be good to you...
You'd neva feel used...

Time would find me worth it...

As I already know you're the shit...

There's a reason I want you in my life...

As mine.!.

Goin from strangers to best fuckin friends...

With me you will neva havta pretend...

I wanna feel the beat of your heart...

Gimme what I will cherish from the start...

Proud to go back n forth with you...

You can trust I will remain true...

I want you n no one else...

You my luv are felt...

I feel the need of you doin what we do...

With me as I wanna claim a truce...

The man in me has decided who he craves...

N i want you to say my name...

Tappin outta the game n give in...

I want to be the one that gets you n climbs within...

On a more personal note, fuck everyone...

Your the one...

jus one sense of her...

I miss the smell of a woman... The way it lingers about... On the pillows... In the air... As it drifts without sound... Even the fragrances that fill a void... Sniffed into the memory of a certain individuals scent... Findin the aroma comfort the mood... With her skin that vents... Followed by my nose... Gettin used to her linger is jus so fuckin nice... Stuck to the fabrics throughout the house... On me at night...

heterosexually in need...

I need a triple shot of that full grown woman kinda luv 'n... That shit that can make a man get to kissin n huggin... Could use a female who can give up on all of her goods... Open up n sex'n fantasies into relations as I down in her heart layin hard wood... To connect with her as a flange fittin jus right... I wanna real woman in my life... Lip sync luv until she hears me comin to life... I'd like to have a pretty lil female who likes the detailed design in my eyes... With an interest that speaks to the vibes that ripple the flutters in which don't let up... Let's talk about luv...

front to back...

what if i wanted to taste u.?. if it was a lil emotion mixed in with a chipper kinda kiss... feelin the luv... on both sets of ur lips... drippin at the gums... flava lusts the feel of the hush set in my eyes... let's jus say my minds on the run... thinkin of ur flesh spread out for my sights... goin further than down with what slips as the moisture jus past ur box... findin twirls on ur backside lickin forward in motion with curls on ur clit... unable to stop the slobberin from the juices mixed with the feel of what hormones find to be figuratively hot... what if i desired pieces of u individually for my own fix.?. face first in the elements of ur scent surfacin so wet... as comin up for air is unheard of... down on u is time well worth spent... the smell of the aroma flowin truly turns me on in a way i think i jus might be able to fall in luv... rotations flippin into backstrokes feelin the way u move... diggin the motion or ur hips grind as u cum... get it girl, break free n get loose... what would u do if u allowed the scene to come to life as u popped multiples on my tongue... cripplin ur legs... comin out to play... burnin the night away as the tips of the flames gain the texture goin numb... what if i jus wanted to show u my version of fun.?.

the bigger picture simplified...

i jus wanna chill... work... live a lil... find worth... laugh... cry in the hard times... feel somethin real... jus enjoy life... hold more than a hand deep into the night... i wanna find happiness... my comfort...  as luv finds relentless bliss... dig in to the mood made for two... with whatever goes... i wanna be felt... jus bein me sittin at home... get wrapped up in someone other than myself... lose all sense of a wall within... simply open up... as my smile lifts... sticks n lives forevermore... allowin relations to cover me... showerin with my friend... make luv n fuck as if doin porn... i have the need to kick back n be grown... for once jus express to someone true intent as the neva walk away... exchangin willingness to show truths... i wanna find mine n be at one with with a relaxed mindset til my dyin day...

fed within the mood...

twenty four seven n clickin like time... as low as life could go to the tips of tops blowin ya fuckin mind... feelin the mood rollin in the dungeon with u as the reason of why... to u comin home as dinner is findin the finishin touches given luv by fingers fed to ur sighs... there is no end to the intentions aimed to please as i go down jus to ease up around ur hearts grind... takin care of ur tender side... like hi after missin u all day jus wantin to feel u alive... mine... eatin over a lil wine as the moments define sights as emotions rise... walkin u through the hallway as eyes find petals stretched in the dark as the mind enters a candle lit bath watchin the passion or ur face unwind... rest in the heated water as bubbles wrap ur curves tight... it's ur moment to slide in n feel the warmth of the luv as ur fed grapes jus right... dine... try a lil somethin different clingin to ur enjoyment as the details of the mood has been read between the lines... as fine as u are, dive in to a night iv'e prepared for u to ease back so divine... take a load off ur spine n ride ur thoughts as i wash u here tonight... hidin ur females parts beneath the surface under flames that light up shadows dancin with the moonlight...

ilu...

i wish u could feel my tears... of the pain i hold inside... knowin i fucked up... knowin my heart is gonna commit unwanted suicide... i can feel it n there's somethin wrong... it's gettin worse... flutters of some sort wake me at night... as i cry knowin my kids are gonna hurt... i don't know if it's givin out... idk know what it is... pops has seven stints... n mama died of a massive heart attack from this shit... today is her bday n i am scared... my babies will be alone in this world without me if i go... n all i'm tryin to do is bounce back in time to give them a better life... my chest at times feels strange to say the least... about two to three times a week... work doesn't help... stress i know ads to this condition... n there's times i weep knowin one day as it could be soon mine are gonna feel what i felt the day mama left this world... i don't wanna go... n it's not bcuz i do not believe in gods.. it's bcuz my three loves i know will die inside... so i stay strong n tell them nothin of what i feel... i wish my time here is longer than what i have in my mind... i don't want them to be torn in pain if my pump goes... i'm afraid n i can't tell no one... as i even make reasons not to be in relations... it wouldn't be fair to give hope to someone else n havta perish in their life... i'm havin a hard enough time with the thought of x kat n punk livin without me... i don't wanna leave them here the way my mama left me.... i know how that felt n it's killin me... i wake up everyday thankful for a chance to get after a future for mine... believe me  as i say, i haven't a clue on the condition of my heart... all i know is it's not lettin up... sometimes it's in the middle of the day... n there's been a couple of times i've gotten light headed... i do have a irregular heartbeat... it's horrifyin the way i live in silence away from this world...tryin to piece back together life... jus wantin a home for mine to come to before it's to late... as i write this with a slight ache... i can feel it... n i don't wanna die... but if do, someone please be there for mine... i luv u x kat n punk like there's nothin else in this world that exists... n i'm tryin to make things normal for us all... i'm sorry in advance if i don't make it in time... but please know dad luv's u n i'm desperately tryin... i know this world is bitter n cruel but promise me you'll live as if i were here if the day comes to soon that i'm unable to tell u, ilu...

the faces shape...

fresh faces grow old in which way.?.

is it old age or a time past that forget the shape.?.

is there an answer that makes sense.?.

emotions aren't jus lent.!.

my version to the madness...

beneath the fingers where the art of story tellin is brought to life... hi.!. this is my version tappin through the movement of my very own vibe... her in a man made time that isn't exact to the creation that's been rebuilt so many times prior as that's a different state of mind... i rely on my best friend restin within that reside awoke n diggin the sights... on my very own as attachments rise like a pant leg to small... waitin on the flood to feel that raw emotion shut the fuck off... here in the middle of this chaos with u sittin alone away from claws on paws lookin the body up as if in a pause... i have flaws... a set of balls... fuck it... i luv bein a part of this shit... as an open book to relate so we know we ain't so alone if the world we create as crazy when released from the lips... like a six shooter from the hip takin precise aim for the correction are intact with the rib that runs from the contact until i cannot go with out what i'd miss... real... yes i can feel... passion is not new to me... for i've luv'd in a so deep it tore me in two tryin to move on into a different life so i knew i had a chance to dream... i got fucked up... bcuz i tried on luv... the rush took over n i hadn't a chance in her eyes that were perfect when sight makes htem seem damn near flush... missed n done, i'm good... as i sit n work n sleep n repeat the pattern like i should... could so i would n i did as bein alone sux but it's better than what i cut loose...poof.. hell no... i like a different kinda moans... when i go home i hope i ain't alone... i'll be gone... i want someone no one else can have n that's no bullshit... i wanna talk to someone who can write back line for line with me spittin words from lips in the middle of a kiss... flyin birds til the tips piss off everyone who thought less of me at the lowest point holdin on to the reason of self twisted... but i luv it... i have my version to the madness... shit happens...

claim...

let's go in on halves... fuck talkin like we ain't got no sense... what do u say to drivin each other mad.?. like two wild animals wingin life as self is lent... past the bullshit the tends to get in the way... who's it sound if i were to say it's u i want... jus to take flight in the air waves... no goofiness n or stunts... right down the middle with who we are... my luv is good... it took a signature that i didn't believe existed to wake me up to the fact that some people are friends n others come n go... there is no metaphorical reason for me to claim thrones... today is all there is n i'm in the moment of what i'm doin jus givin it a lil while so i have jus a lil more of me to give to the woo's...with proof of i wann ago in on halves n ease the fuck back... enjoy a bit more than bare minimum gettin down with my fav lil woman who doesn't needt o show her azz... literally n figuratively bein an adult n grow up so relations will last past the finer memories made to pass so the return to how the images call to me climb the walls... lemme in or imma go elsewhere... rare i am n i ain't on that same ol bs flppin the nose open as if flares to ignite what happened been before we got from there to here... i'm lookin to cut back on work to feel what's passin me buy knowin ur lyin to yourself of u bein fine behind closed doors as on this side u cheer... have a beer n claim u have nothin to fear... it's weird... stop it... be u n i got me... dreams ain't got shit on reality... unable to compare me in u on me... can u believe that shit.?.

tap...

i know how to get down so it isn't about the sex with me..
i'm jus waitin on a lil somthin to come along n mix up my wants n needs...
i've already died inside so livin is the one thing on my mind...
tappin in to a new feel that tells me luv has spun loose from the hands of time...

the visual...

awakening to an empty bed where u shoulda been... i cracked my eyes open as my arms extended to find u with a grin... but there was no one there for my hands to feel... as i felt a different kinda emotion cling to my hearts details... so slowly i began to look around... from a cool hotel room i seen u standin there without makin a sound... jus outside on the balcony u stood motionless feelin the wind... lovely is the only way to describe the visual listenin to the ocean vent... wrapped in a see through cloth that showed the motion of the breeze... in ur bakini leanin on the rail with ur eyes lost in the horizons display of colors wavin at ur imagination... i could hear the crashin of water on the beach as i laid there in aww with the temptations... absolutely gorgeous if i must say... in ur moment here in life as i was the one to witness u as happy as ur expression couldn't hide as if to live they weren't afraid... i couldn't seem to move for a while that seemed like forever... but it was worth the visual of ur curves in that split second as i cherished u beyond the comfort of my luv'r... in luv u were with life at that precise tic of the clock in tuned with the need... as i smiled n closed my eyes to awaken from the most beautiful dream...

clingin to the feel...

how does it feel to hold their hand.?. knowin it's u that has them... that it is u they lean in to... as ur name they defend... back watched over as if their own... all bcuz it's u givin luv the way it is supposed to be shown... what's it like as other gaze in amazement at u two walkin life out.?. as no white flags exist in wavin of givin up on comforts of crowns... i jus wanna know what if feels like to have n hold that end that neva lingers off into the uknown... leavin the side to figure another way without the luv shared gone numb... u look good in luv as i envy ur both not feelin the void of bein alone... as u have found home... i wish i could have somethin that resembles the way u stare at one an other... n i won't get in to or ask about ur relations as luv'rs... i'm jus humble to see two individuals clingin to the feel of a best friend rollin with the rush... wrapped around the truthfulness of trust... hwo can i find someone that wants what u have.?. i thought i had it once as i crave it so fuckin bad... tell me jus so i know... as i remain to myself hpoin one day not to live alone...

witness to the hunger...

fallin in to the moment of lettin go... there's nothin like holdin on... felt to the feelin of touch woke the fuck up... gettin at the way emotion defines luv... held down like gravity holds on to the freedom of motion... applyin the feel of the rub of lotion... drippin in tears behind closed doors as the connection has been found... listenin to whispers speak out from the silence of the mouth... heard as the tone is no longer captured by a solo way of life... strangers closer than air in between bodies flush n feelin vibes... off the deep end of no return... lookin for a lil somethin that clings like worth... as hands flow on curves wrapped up like silk beneath the night... blowin out the inner walls of the mind... witness to the hungar that rounds out to the texture of what lands flush... without fear claimin thoughts two as one lead to way through seconds at the minutes hr with nothin but trust...sinkin in to the skin... deeper than smiles have ever been... on the eve of tomorrow comin to soon... lost in the contact within the walls that enclose the room... neva wantin to as the mood is unable to hide... thinkin it's about fuckin time...

a lil bit...

i could tell u i don't need anyone in my life n it wouldn't be a lie...

but the want of some real company is always on the top of my mind...

incoherent to the sounds of lines catchin a visual wrapped up in comforts grunts...

done n feelin slap happy to the mood of goofin at bests gettin at luv...

the groove that move the intentions isn't feelin this resistance to be had...

so if i tell u i could care less jus know i'm bein a lil bit selfish jus a tad...

my inner walls vibe to the ripples caused by joy of findin someone new...

goin with the he he ha's rippin loose as time gives way to relations stayin true...

hushin tones...

i need nothin more to talk about...

jus need a lil voice to speak to me out loud...

to take me outta my head catchin yawns...

i want somethin else to act upon...

the cross over is vital to what i should be doin...

due to i don't know where i am goin...

i want a friend to bring me out n play...

live a lil more than i have been willin to stay...

lettin the feel good open up n luv...

by someone that's not jus anyone as i wanna be touched...

caressed n held down n close enough to be felt...

i could use some help...

as i don't seem to desire words as much...

there's a difference in the way interactions rush...

findin the sweet spot jus linger about...

fallin in to the tenderness of the mouth...

patient to the fact of truths hushin tones...

as poetic as motion can move as full fuckin grown...

waiting on an other human to show...

solo riding on the back of better timing... mind confiding in the emotions residing... hiding n waiting on a face reaching for the vibe like a bolt of lightning... shining as if the sun rising each n every morning... luv'n life n getting it in... a dream no other can touch lifting spirits from within... again n again as days awaken to the motivation to be good to someone other than self's reliance... in perfect alliance... timeless in a sense where trust defines the lines of fine print escaping within rhymes... held high as life reclines as nights kicked the fuck back intertwined... finding a stranger to become a friend like no other loosening the pride for the thumps to tic a lil as passion grinds... alone i define eyes clinging to mine defying sights entertaining the mind... 

Demented...

Disturb me... I could use a new twist to dig in to my state of mind...Come on in n watch me flippin birds doin my own thing... U could let loose yourself n say fuck all the rules of life... Jus don't leave when u connect to my kinda crazy... There's a certain type the I cling to... Free n unaffected by the coocco clock is wht ticks within... Don't be afraid, it's safe to do as u do... Like a laughin bomb waitin to burst with chuckles that giggle for no apparent reason... U can bother is if u are jus as disturbed as me... Findin shit funny jus bcuz life's too fuckin short to care... Livin as if we're caught up in an endless dream... Come sit with someone different n we can tilt our heads as others walk on by... Make them think we are fucked in the head... Jus so they won't stop n pretend to be like us... Set off my alarms n muddle as I rearrange my face from the norm I dread... SImply ruffle my feathers so eyes look on past what we tend to do... In our own corky way play as we harass each other... Hassled to show ain't no one else with the odd twist we share... Goin as far as havin great sex within the weird relations as luv'rs...

It's not u...

If u somehow found out I was jus tryin to fix my situation... Would u understand why I cannot find the time to step into relations.?. If my truths told u I fuck with others jus to see them smile bcuz it makes me feel normal for to the pain in which I live with hurts as I hide... Knowin I'm decent with those I come in contact with yet live a life where in which I work so much bcuz all I can do is try... If u stumbled upon me in the dark n u heard what truly goes on... Would u be able to relate to me n the way I've been torn..?. Giving every n anything to overcome my struggle so I'm not homeless again... Even though I don't have one as I am one hell of a man... Fallin apart in silence as everyone thinks I'm this happy go lucky fella fuckin with their goochie's so I too can laugh... But what if u know I was depressed behind closed doors as I couldn't feel my worth at all... U see, I went in at a point where things were on the up... I gave in n caved in n found out I cannot trust luv... Even though it's the one thing I have to give as people tend to be more chipper when I come around... The clown with no face paint that forces fake expressions that never make a sound... So what if u seen me for what I am... If u heard me cry as my head was in my hands... Lost without a friend in my solitude twisted within... Willin to reverse what has been... As I won't tell my secret to anyone as I'm afraid to be touched... Goin without what everyone else takes for granted as I sit alone what once was...

idk... fuckin around...

the fire ain't feelin the flame flickerin to the freedom felt from across the room... friends don't fake findings flopping like a fish outta water freaking out jus wanting to live in their doom... false foolish fairytales finger the brain until fragments believe in flaws misunderstood... fondling forever faked by friendly foes fuckin over the hearts feverish chills up to no good... fans so fraudulent faces tend to fight the tears flowin  into the fallin of muted whispers... famously forced into forgettin the fences finger luv frustratin emotions as if in a twister...

i found a reason to luv...

i've passed on others jus to stop n look at u... in rare form n in nude... u make luv to my eyes jus the way u are... tongue wrestling with my heart... taking a directional change to peep at the display of what i feel i could use in my life... attached to the reasons walking freely through my mind... touching u reveals what i neva knew about myself... n how the tenderness u possess lingers in the emotions felt... drawn i am to the stare u throw my way... thinking it's cute to drive me insane... n it is... especially when u give up on the flava of ur irresistible lips... softly puckered in their aim reaching for worth... motion in the mix of most definitely being heard... i've walked this far to find u solo as fuck... ready to open up to feel my luv... waiting for u to put a patton on what it is i give to u to use as yours... stepping away from a life on tour... home now... as i want nothing more...

standing before u...

i jus wanna get to know u... find what it is i've come to realize is a situation in between us wanting to be put to use... somewhere from within u i wanna crawl n jus get lost... to become that comfort that feels the attractions attachment living with the flaws... til i jus don't feel the need to ever wanna come back out... i've already falling in my mind on the sights of u lingering about... there's a feel that tingles beneath even what u see standing before u willing to open up... in me rests the wait to explore what u have give as some real fucking luv... patience seems to be somewhat of a dagger holding me at bay... n all i ever wanna fucking do is say ur precious name... to tell u in my version where tone speaks the truth... of how it is i believe life would be so much different if we would put each other to use... as time sits still with the mind wondering if it's jus a dream or if u indeed hide the passion as well... i wanna reach in for myself to see if i reside behind ur eyes within the walls or ur very own cell... tucked like u are in mine in bed with me doing what it is we do as the visual wants to live... come from the inner shadows of the silhouette n rewrite with me the emotions that neva fib... there's things about me that you'd prolly enjoy as i'm willing to chance the moment to find u walking with me... somewhere we'd jus get lost on our own way in our own space finally adoring the drift as we become the depths of reality...

the goochie in the rib...

no rhyme can express the feel betraying the emotion withheld in the chest. there isn't a singee line that will even attempt to hold the meaning of what's been laid to rest... as time unraveled as friends retract into a state of strangers as if relations jus didn't exist... not one word is willing to step forward n even try to swim with the dribble upon the lip.. as life talks shit with its legs spinning to get way from all that's gone wrong in the past... quick n in a hurry to redefine the good times before they pass... some go solo jus wanting a moment to rectify the moments that changed who it is they've become as emotions have been smashed... wondering if the trust was still alive, how long would it truly last... seems letters make up a vocabulary that form different outcomes falling outta the mouth... jus to be staring at someone new looking for the feel of acceptance as friends have been found... rolling with the way two mingle in the middle of life's lil twist so smooth in the way it goes down... as finding the effect of being affected by someones touch softly bound... or wither away under yet another past tense of special losing the will to jus be happy n live... not many have anything more than selfish needs to give... as there isn't a phrase to capture what it is that's felt with the misplacement of the goochie in the rib... as lies from promises become loose trips down memory lane with chuckles released the jibs... n even though we claim never to open up to the same ol tiring azz bs again we fall head over heals in luv... hoping every fucking time there is no other to come after what stands before eyes that give that rush... in for the long haul comes the signals taken in mental notes trying to figure if in them we can trust... as it's motions within th e actions that speak in ways life truly finds itself wrapped up with what never was...