self is not responding anymore....

hello self, how u been? it's been a while since we've last talked. how r things. life treatin u good? i'm jus akin cuz you've been ignorin me. so it seems. does life have u so busy u can't remember my name. it's me. in the flesh. the one u can count on no matter what. it's been so long man. tell me what's new. did u find urs? what ? can't talk? u ain't gettin to big for ur britches r u? come on man. let me hear where uv been. we were so close at one point. what happened? cuz i can't remember y we stopped talkin. for the life of me i jus don't know. so how's life bro? let me in. oh i see. silent treatment. guess ur to good. made it past the self indulgence. well u need to check urself. but wait! that means u need me for that. nah. i'm good. roam inside ur self by urself. i don't need this. im outta here. done. enjoy the outside world where true friends r hard to find. have a nice life.

rubbin the walls

puddles, drippin, wet n moist, formin a lake upon the bed.
splash, as the tongue dives in, leg crimplin, straight to the head.
water like substance, liquifyin the mouth, delicious, stayin strong.
puttin in the work, slurpin it up, cream filled pie, can't go wrong.
takin my time, rubbin the walls, excitment lingers down the chin.
drops of flavor, escapin, gravity pullin, pleasin, wit an evilish grin.
pourin out, pleasure is takin place, down the throat, swallowin my take.
givin my all, jaws of steal, strokin i slide, munchin on her cake.

i never knew

your the love i have always wanted, as i sat and stared into nothing.

trying to find out what it is i want in a woman,
found it in you and that means something.

wondering about the character in which i loved, i never knew it would have ever been you.

as i searched through the years inside each one,
it all lead me back to the only one for me, within
you.

i picked apart pieces at a time with no regard,
i was waiting on that one to come and give me my start.

seen many faces call me their very own one, yet believed not a one for i knew in my heart.

she'd come and i would know without a doubt, she would fulfill my days and empty my nights.

i just never knew it was you i craved this way,
i never knew it was you i waited on til now on this days light.

it was you all along i compared so many to, torn apart because they just was not you.

it is funny how time plays its unchangeable game,
forcing the learning for one to love in a way so true.

tickling love

I tickled love this morning & it laughed your name in happiness!
Watched how it smiled as i feel so head over heels in heavenly bliss.
I could not help myself from falling so far into you as you laid there in comfort.
As if i were hypnotized by the way your eyes captivated my core.
It is truly amazing how you turned out to be so perfect in every way.
For the man in me which i never thought was possible to be tamed.
You have taken control and make me feel so loved in ways i can not explain.
So as I tickle love and watch me dream come true listening to the morning rain.
I hold you within my heart tucked so tight with every breath I take.
For it is because of you this man in me has found its way and has been delivered fate.

sent my way

luv has made 4 u n sent u my way,
jus so i can feel it's warm embrace.
i've waited for this day to be face to face,
escapin to a place where love itself awaits.
fillin the hearts lonely deserted wasted space,
...i feel fazed n dazed knowin ur what i've craved.
i preyed for direction n u were sent my way,
hopin forever is the way this will stay.

whom

in whom do you turn when grounds are shaky?
when all has gone to hell and back above all.
with those disrupted feelings of frustration.
whom is it that touches your internal?
as you sit daydreaming and side tracked.
out of your very own misplaced norm.
whom puts the pieces back together?
after a little time has been put on and worn.
when night creeps in behind the day.
and all has failed in so many ways.
whom holds you as you feel ever so safe?
making everything more than a.o.k.
whispering softly in a friendly jester.
comforting all that has gone wrong.
bringing you back to life like no other.
whom in which writes the notes to your song?
take a peek in to the eyes in which care.
look long and hard as if nothing can go astray.
is it who you think or thought they are?
clinging to your long fought out day.

side

inside outside upside down,
you flipped the script and turned me around.

my side your side our side wow,
you speak to me without ever making a sound.

this side that side what side now,
giving more than a face painted clown.

his side her side side by side how,
showing some love that would make cupid proud.

fallin

fallin away like letters losing their meaning.

i'm winning yet it doesn't seem i'm holding my end of this thing.

every turn it's all been the same.

one foot forward and three feet back, as i spin inside my cage.

thoughts haunting the day cracking through the eyelids.

trying, i'm falling away from why it is i can't get my feet planted level with gripped fists.

crumbling inward as self is frustrated with me always pushing.

to get back to the basics is all i ever seem to make as i shut down in confusion.

it's how life has always been.

never to get ahead, no matter how much i give.

not in an individual in which i spend time.

yet in other that don't seem to give up on hard times of falling away from the comforting mind.

facts of life keep me open to one day it'll all come to an end.

yet my past is one in which the pattern must be broke for me to do more than simply fend.

it's coming and i feel it in my bones.

still i can't help feeling i'm suppose to damn near made of stone.

chipping away as my will is falling outta sync when i wanna ball up n give in.
but for some strange odd reason it appears i'm to strong to lay down and lose, instead of win.

i don't know?

fallin slowly into my final resting place, i just don't know?

standing in frame

pushin, limits have no boundaries.

givin, all n beyond for my love to unfold.

showin, how it is i know how to love.

holdin, standing in frame yet never to bold.

learnin, ways of the hearts simplicity.

warmin, feelings filling the empty pit.

livin, making memories made so pure.

wishin, all comes full circle in the seat i sit.

i feen for the moment

pants rising upward in a state of pleasure speaking without words to be spoken just wanting to get it on.

i am weak in the sense of the over whelming feeling passion that fills me as i can not seem to fight the urge to please the need live porn.

thrusting at the hits in a rocking like motion to feed the starving monster of its kill that is more than willing to play a game of who is next.
i feen for the moment of impact that two of a kind become one in an act of all out flesh on flesh feverishly heated as if there is no cure but an orgasm fused by sex.

longing to give all i am to that of another sexuality for i am as good as my qualities i have worked on that can speak for themselves.
given a chance at the title i can most definitely become more than the prior experiences one has had as i will excel.

something else

love wraps.
finger tight.
love holds.
after every fight.
love gives.
more than anything.
love smiles.
at everything.
love knows.
what it has.
love brings.
forth the bad.
love over rides.
killing the pain.
love shows face.
enjoying the rain.
love feels.
like nothing else.
love is a gift.
made for more than self.
love cares.
as if it wants.
loves desires.
to be touched.
love when expressed.
can complete two.
love has become something else.
when i found you.

interior

fiddlin inside the interior of the face in which everyone around me sees.

playin in my time with expressions hidden in between all the dreams.

i sit alone with company in which i choose to have before i switch scenes.

lost within thought cuz anything can happen behind realities unheard screams.

on the other side of the eye where no one can venture other than self as i.

closin eyes i slip away into neva neva where you jus may be in my mind.

i am the one callin the shots like a god outta control as i enjoy my find.

yet i am unable to hide the exterior jesters squeezed through a smilin grind.

driftin wind

crawlin dust simmerin. fallin n settlin. closin eyes openin. visualizin n surfacin. becomin mind bogglin. driftin particles settin. givin n realizin. cloudin thoughts disappearin. smokin dust givin in. relaxin n retrievin. findin sight surprisin. losin nor fadin. blindin acts behavin. escapin the cravin. sweepin dust liftin. exrpessin lungs deflatin. showin the fallen. growin old foldin. weepin for a weapon. clearin minds clingin. shiftin mental aggression. pickin n choosin. livin n realizin. tryin by timin. cryin cuz of lyin. emptyin numb feelins. greivin helpin relievin. endin the rainin. showerin away the stainin. sayin ones done playin. attemptin whats affectin. justifyin one stayin. relatin n acceptin. attendin n perfectin. diddlin n rhymin. dyin wind blowin. bringin the slow waitin.

learn of yourself

as long as your head is on straight and your heart does not teeter,
no one can ever break you as you never want to never mistreat her.
if your mind can relate and your heart can love without hate,
plans will follow the way you give life a shove into your very own escape.
loose yourself in the way she loves you with so much to give,
watch how things play out as life becomes something one wants to live.
become one and taste the expressions expressed in actions in her ways,
and nothing can ever come between the two of you as time fades.
listen and learn of yourself from another caring enough to teach,
as you tell all and find a friend within a lover you can reach.

lack of oxygen

i can't breath when i'm next to you. finding the air to express myself is a task. weezing i try. gasping as i kiss your lips. felling the love grab hold of my throat i fall deeper in each moment we're stuck together. idk how this is possible. i've never felt strangled with a soft touch of a hand. oxygen is very much needed, yet i'd give my last to your if your smile could live on forever. ilu MANDY! always in love, only with you.

overflowing

i can't get it out.
i feel it.
i see it.
but it wont release itself from the silent part of the mind.
i can't say a thing.
tongues tasting the flavor.
yet unspoken.
i am searching as deep as i can hold my breath.
visualized.
expressed in motion.
actions speaking out.
but i am at a loss when alone.
grabbing at hints.
dragged out of the head.
to tell my end of this tale.
i feel i can't get it out the right way.
i have it.
spread upon my lips.
giving purpose.
what is it i am trying to say?
mixed signals unable to reach the box.
sound is absent as the form it was released is misinterpreted.
re-verbalized into mumbling moans.
confused by my very own intentions.
words playing hide and seek.
poking at reality.
bouncing off the walls cluttered with still frames.
photo copied within the memory.
yet i still can not push it out.
overflowing.
i can not spit it into the wind.
sticking to my inner deliverance.
trapped deep enough beneath the communication.
i reach a helping hand.
yet it does not seem interested in being relieved.
freed....................................

feeling it

out of the minds over emotional sight
words abandoning me and faster they run.
clouding the mind and plugging the heart.
corners curving for a greater turn.

hearts gripping a hold of the yearning.
feeling it as it stays at last.
knowing i understand and accept my find.
back from somewhere lost in the past.

easing the blanker side of the wondering mind.
hearts so far past being head over heels in love.
time giving one shot at a true chance.
this should of been what never happened in was.

now involved instead of a imagined glance.
doing a little more than just fitting in.
clinging to what is and always has been considered mine.
who pushed this into me and where has this been.

falling forward we are so far behind.
past now mature, ready and arriving.
moments made to cherish the hold.
meant for the soul purpose of simply surviving.

growing together as age is showing how time makes us old.
void filled with the little fulfillment of having the one.
self has been carefully prepared to be repaired.
taking away the chill in the bone while love's having fun.

perfect

putting it all on the line.
my heart is finally level with my mind.
now seeing clearly eye to eye.
and it's about fucking time.

times truly come full circle.
setting up a perfect learning hurdle.
as my face is no longer purple.
my hearts moving faster than a turtle.

giving me because i know it's right.
this time around i need not to hide.
no questions of wondering why's.
just to simply step up and try.

i found something within me.
feening for the better part of me.
dragged so far outside of me.
losing myself within thee.

it's in the stare you ware.
upon the glare you dare.
the way you show you care.
and how we make a perfect pair.

stable in frame

been a few days gone by since i've last emptied my endless mind. draining it out into thin air in form of a man willing to do his time. thoughts building within the walls as i scrape away the oozing process. bleeding inward on thoughts brought upon by relentless open access. brain teasers scream til freed in a moment of truth or live with it. as their unable to be held in they leak from the heads centering bullshit. days past emptying thy will to keep things down and stable in frame. roaming weaknesses scatter as the shattering light places blame. creeping back inside the pockets of the brains only way to stay maintained. realism sometimes hides long enough for words to be exchanged. thinking of ways to suppress over thought out blank expressions. just to see how things play out and those who surround meet expectations.

lilly padded out

floating down stream.
lilly padded out.
smooth sailing.
stretched about.

living the life.
relaxing for a bit.
feet splashing.
as i take a look as i sit.

bobbing softly.
drifting away.
taking in the scenery.
feeling the day.

skin needing the warmth.
sun feeding my smile.
breeze on my back.
easing on by.....

as i lay and think

when after slipping away for so long past?
will two ever make it and enjoy it last.
how does one say it without a sigh?
and get it out soft enough just right.
where is the words stuttered upon?
tripping the tongues ever lost song.
why has it taken hearts so long?
seems it was misplaced lost and gone.
who is it i have longed to become?
winding up to someone their number one.
what is i had to endure as i learned?
before i had my true chance and my turn.
have i become me in a place in time?
without the option to pretend to hide.
does it begin where i stand right here?
without something i no longer fear.
can i be me with the one i call love?
i believe so as i lay and think turning in a snuggling roll.

a story of love

childhood. feeling scared yet overwhelmed in your presents.
thoughts lingered. wanting your acceptance.
disappearing into the wind. you were gone and i was left to fill in the blanks.
wondering you became a memory. you were the top of the ranks.
yrs. faded without ever knowing where you were.
i hid you deep inside. missing you as you slowly became a blur.
re-found. after time seemed to be somewhat right.
forced to give up. quietly i released you still without a fight.
time feeling lost. the last piece of a friend was gone.
inside of me. a man no longer held on strong.
months flew. coming patiently and back around.
meeting once again. frowns turned quickly upside down.
given a much needed window. we both prayed for change.
feeling done. becoming one outside our abandoned cage.
things never told. coming true to the ear through something as thin as the air.
all in the same. we once missed our chance as a pair.
now face to face. in our time to love and hold one another.
making it last. for we have found our long lost friend and lover.
a story of love. one to tell over and over for years to come.
as we both kept it inside. bringing to a head that we are indeed the one.
we stare into eyes. knowing we feel the same way somehow.
living a love so pure. from way back then to the presence of now.
craving for some odd reason. not knowing why the urge to want pounds away.
the heart knows what it wants. and love has it playing music day by day.

i am overflowing

you are filling me in a way i can feel how i was so fucking empty inside for years, looking back into the past and wondering why in the hell i never found you as my one.
it does not matter if you are here beside me or miles away in some distant land, you made an impression and i can feel you as if you have crawled inside me and made yourself a home.
i am overflowing
blank for so long i sat inside of me thinking where do i belong in a time where i just can not seem to get it or even fit in, finding me is a hard task to be worth the while.
to have you touch me with out feeling me upon my skin soothes the human within like no one has ever known until now, as i have fallen deep within your smile.
i am overflowing
the hearts dancing with the mind as you come across thy thoughts of a happier love being shared, i found mine within you after feeling like the moon chasing down the sun.
always one step behind i have been where you have stepped, catching up you have crept in and release me from my very own sheltered shell to finally have a little fun.
i am overflowing
i have been given life after giving up on a thought of you ever looking my way, beside myself in a way love has taken full control of every once this longing pitiful ol fool.
you have become that missing link i desired for years parished without one an other, as we both were stuck with the where in the back of our minds of what ever happened to??
i am overflowing

connecting

when we get close enough that space has become contact. connecting what the heart is saying silently through the vibes pulsating upon the chest. understanding every beat felt as air escapes from between our love. when the vibes bounce like ripples across the skin. trying to reach one another as if fate has found its true way. there is no helping craving hearts feeling the shock waves of the emotions expressed. losing control of the inner individual exploding inside for the sounds of a flawless love is un-describable. as we fall deeper for us and become one in our time of having that one. ilu MANDY!

seeping from our souls

time must have stood still long enough to realize it screwed up long ago with us. never giving in to a love that was meant to be as if we were over looked. i wonder what it felt when we were given this chance and said ilu for the first time. feeling more than the meaning behind the definition of the word and the way it has completed what the love inside our hearts is truly about. drifting off in long stares and lost within each others eyes as they connect. releasing the knowing of true love as it seeps from our souls with a touch of forever to come. finding a friendship that speaks without words. i am deeply madly and crazy in love with you.

questions of if

if their was no tomorrow, what would be your last thoughts of me?
if tonight was all you had, how is it you'd want to have me?
if a moment shared was all we had left, do you think it mean more?
if once upon a time came to it's dying end, where inside you would i be stored?
if life had passed us by, do you think it was worth every second held?
if that day were here, how fast do you think we'd do it all over again and melt?
if yesterday told a story of love, what do you believe it speak of us?
if we got lost and time slipped away, would you want it back for the sake of love?
if today were the last we stared into on an others eyes, would you die inside?
if all this were true and you'd be on your way, is it your feelings you'd hide?
if this thing is on a collision course, would you try and prevent it?
if and only if a love was meant to be felt like this, should we sit back and enjoy it?

expression

g: i love you as high as the sky and deep as the sea.

b: i feel you deeper than i've ever felt you in a dream.

g: u make me the happiest woman ever!

b: you're my sails and my endless flight of feather.

g: Your my dream come true.

b: plucked from a sleepless desire you touch my roots.

g: I catch myself falling deeper in love with you everyday.

b: lost in precious moments of us growing old and gray.

g: I can't wait til the day I can look you in your eyes and say, "I do."

b: me for the better of you as this love has began to brew.

livin a dream

layin down to dream of my dream with my dream layin beside me. i fall into dream land where my dream is awaitin in a dream. dreamin dreamy things only a dream will allow one to do. my dreams bend for my mind to drift in n outta dreams where my dream plays hide n seek. deep sleep dreamin along side a dream within a dream i lay with a smile outside my dream. lost in a dream settin made for two my dream of dreams is comin true. slowly findin the reality on the other side of my inner dreams. i dreamed a dream. n wake in the same dream n live it all the same. my dream is no dream. eyes open i walk next to my dream. touch a dream worth pullin from the nights mind easin as a dreamer. float n fly away within a dream with my dream goin anywhere my dream will take us. i luv my dream. my dream gives meanin to a dream come true. dreamin or not. my long lived dream dreams of me when a dream is to be dreamed. dreamin of me as i dream of the best dream i ever had. jus to rise from the dream we dreamed n embrace the same dream from our dreams. livin a dream.

soundless patience

i think back when i may of forgotten who i was.
running from the centering sweet spot where there was no more love.
chasing down a life better than the one i had before.
i believe i have forgotten where i stood as me as i walked out the door.
gone for years past gone too damn long.
trying to find a home somewhere else in time as it appears i was wrong.
i crept out on myself deep in the nights silence.
set on auto pilot, lost and testing every once of my soundless patience.
i put this life i hold out in the wind.
every corner i turned it seemed i could never give in let alone win.
i forgot me in the mix of finding my way.
losing me slowly enough as the softest of touch left me feeling like a stray.
walking away i approached another direction.
step by step i wondered into the same ol shit with the same ol misguided intentions.
falling forward yet leaning towards my past.
everyday seems to be the same and i wondered how long can it possibly last.
losing self is the hardest thing i have ever done.
as lesson on my motionless path of confusion has me in a daze with my one.

slinging poo

empty heads feeding pitiful words falling from choking mouths in loveless hate.
words spoken to cut form within a hollow mind gone mad on its own irritated fate.
slobbering drool spit without direction for anyone to notice and give attention.
tasting their own foolish lies built inside a rotten core made of self stimulating infliction.
unable to bite tongues and save face before gaining the respect of missing friends lost.
as if it matters what anyone else thinks as overflowing filth is being tossed.
thrown at the world like a monkey slinging poo with great excitement.
sitting back with blank stares after all said and done plotting their next act of enticement.

clickin clock

time has switched its licking toward us as we fight for another day to click and tick in each others hearts in love. as we found ourselves picking up the pieces and the light flickered as it busted when time itself gave us a shove. we fell into one another because we were made for one an others tickling teasing oh so pleasing touch. finding the clock spinning out of control as the slow winding toc helps you and i find us in our own time to love. you see, ilu MANDY!

for once

1 thing iv learned is this.
i'm nothing special.
but is any of us anyways?
i sat and wondered for years.
what make me so special every time i turn around.
when every time mr. wonderful is left standing alone.
i'm everything one has looked for again and again.
yet i am just me living in my very own dream.
i can only do the best i can to be happy.
earning my way and my keep.
even ig it keeps me broke i"ll pull my weight.
keeping things simple and as real as possible.
dealing with issues that come up in everyday ordeals.
and until now, they've now left me to myself in disbelief.
yet i'm so perfect in every way.
so unbelievably sweet as i am giving what i can within me.
yeah i can felt love as i sat with my heart in my hands!
i just want to be me for once as i'm seen for who i am.
not what i do or what i say in a days time.
and i think i've found it in someone just like me.
giving great joy and relieving my bones.
she thinks i'm the one as i do her.
something i never imagines myself saying.
as she also thinks i'm special.
what can i say?
guess i'm never going to shake it.
how can i if what i do is said to be more than they've asked for?
maybe it's just how i approach a lover.
give them my all because that's what i quietly would love to receive.
yet i'd never ask or speak of it.
and even know i let it be known with this one.
she gets my all because she is different in ways no other can surpass.
i want to see this one go all the way to the end of time.
and if i'm special in her eyes, so it must be.
i'm just going to have to live with it and live and let live for once.
because she see's the real me leaking out with every letter of ilu.
so what have i learned?
if i've learned anything at all it is this.
and if you don't nderstand.
read it again until you do...........

Shoulda

I'm finding myself doing another mans daily duties n I'm not complainin one bit. For it was suppose to be my life in the makin with kids that shoulda been by me. Getting close enough they feel like my own and the have a daddy that is biologically theirs. Yet it doesn't change what I'm feeling for none of them because the way I see it, they shoulda been by me. I have three and she has six. Together there is nine. And I will stand for all of them as my own, no bloodline or not.

I'm falling deeper than I ever thought I would by any means for any woman. I swore it would take a hell of a woman to do what this impaticullar female is doing without doing a thing as I am loving it. I always knew there was something about her. Something that lived inside of me with hope, but I never knew until here recently as I have the oppertunity to live a life I dreamed of for years. It shoulda been our all the while as fate is giving us a chance to do us in a time of redefining true love.

The saddest thing I am finding I have to endure is I'll never have a chance for her to bare my child. It pains me in ways as she is filling a void and the emptiness is there. It's making my desire for her stronger by the day. Feeding a love for this woman of my dreams, my very own happiness. I'd just like to see her smile as it is me on the other end of her everything. Like it shoulda been as this time.

I have gone so long with only images flooding thoughts with and in between lovers I knew it would never work with. Lying my way along, even though I believed I'd never have a chance with my one. Dissecting all their good intentions apart and breaking down their flaws for they could never be her. I know it's been so long since I've seen her but when we talked for the first time after so many long wasted years. We knew this was our fate. For she lived with me in her the same as I did her. It's unexplainable to say the least. All I know is I have her in my arms every night and she's loving me back. I feel I've done something to deserve this and I'd do it again if I knew this were the outcome. For it shoulda been us until the end.

These are feeling leaking out as true as the can ever be felt. Uncontrolled and thrown at any ear willing to listen as they are meant to be read from a place love was created. I'd give my own life for this woman I have craved over for so long. We are one in the same. Not having to explain ours pasts to anyone that could never understand our past. Getting a glare of wtf did you just say in now a distant memory we'll never endure again. My one has pulled me from a place I felt so utterly lost in. Giving life back to who I truly am as I am a fresh breath of old familiar air flowing within her. Even after drifting apart like we shoulda never had been.

doing all i can

til the end of the path we walk, i will do all i can to do more than carry you.

deeper than any other in my heart, your in for a lifetime as my love is true. your my one and only, as i am doing all i can to help you create a perfect smile. breaking down time to make it a little more than just a moment of worthwhile. slowly earning our way so far upward in our time to the promised land. i will give all i am that lingers inside of me to show you i am your biggest fan. within me, you have grown faster than i have ever felt another as we stroll. i am loving how it feels to truly love because we as a pair, simply know. i would place myself on the edge and stand a man in front of life itself. wedding you so this world knows i am yours as you'd become my wife and we are felt. i find myself believing in the way your eyes scan my face as they stare and move.as i glide across your skin and lips slide in a perfect erotic, sexual, mental groove. depth of a touch from a friend like no other with caressing, dancing fingertips. living in the present as the future is finally within our outreached grip. on the back of a forever in which i could never seem to understand or believe in. yet i now smile with great joy and happiness cherishing your irreplaceable good lovin. i am willing to carry more than my end through the course of our short lived time. to the other side of this thing others can not seem to attempt to want to find. it is you and i as i see us winning the test to win one an others untamed love. never to be lonely again for we have found purity in the other side of rough.

on the flip side of smilin faces

as the face smiles...............

depth. more powerful & soothing to my will more than thy has ever touched or felt.
stealth. hidden feelings meaning & dealing more than promises thy has ever been fed or dealt.
help. it finds & strikes every nerve deluding the pain that concurs thy endless name.
melt. liquefied by the way it offers so much to gain as the hidden tear fades in the rain.

on the flip side.........

deep. emerging from depths under & beneath the cores centering insides as it climbs.
sleep. dreaming of a safer place in a time of it's thy mind within thy cage that has to hide.
creep. sliding & taring away the imperfections imagined and accelerated by confused intentions.
repeat. watching it play out with such a great satisfaction to thy selfish sensual sensations.

you are

alone and feeling you,
that's all i ever need.
i find great comfort in your smile,
you are the one for me.
i crave your presence,
only for you i feen.
more than a woman,
more than any lover i'v ever seen.
to you and only you,
i so want to cling.
you are my angel,
as i am tucked under your wing.
you are on the mind,
thinking i dream so many things.
falling i feel so complete,
it's only you that does it for me.
singing a slow verse,
you are a song sung so sweet.

diddles by the text

its the way you love me. how you respond to me. the way you look in my direction that's got me willing to bond.

your the love i've always wanted.

as i lay and listen to you sleep. knowing it is you beside me. i feeel my search come to an end. with every breath you take i sink further into a friend.

it's easy to love you cuz your beautiful. yet it's not you physical beauty. it's your inner self that's won me over. has me proud to say your my lover.

your love sits on my tongue. as if it is a peer and is lookin gout on the most beautiful sunset. yet it's you it stares at. and i see why it smiles the way it does.

kiss me. feel how you take my breath. taste me. put my lips to the test.

everytime you hold me i melt. as if i were fallin into you and i splash against your chest. liquified in the presents of your love. asif i were for you to taste.

life in it's own has all i ever needed. so my guesse is i was suppose to enjoy it and was given you.

ilu cuz u r who u r. real. amazin. lovable. smart. nice. corky. beautiful. generous. ur simply the best ever. i've never met any1 like u.

on the 3one

last day of january 20-eleven on the 3one.
more so now than i've ever been under the gun.
lookin at the daylight creepin in the blind.
i feel my struggle has finally stepped away from the grind.
here on the final day of the 1st month of the year.
i think where i was last year as i shake off a tear.
it was almost that long ago i went lookin for her.
n as i found here i had to leave her thur.
this next month rollin in will mark a time where i had not.
nor a single tie as i had my very own spot.
lost in a way i remember me givin up.
wonderin after so long wtf.
yet i sit on this glorious day of knowin.
n i feel what i was searchin 4 then as it's growin.
life sometimes gives when one is good n ready.
n i believe this thing is as good as steady.
what a years difference makes when all has failed.
gien in once n given back the air in my sails.
so i comfortably play with the thought of never havin her.
for it didn't look as if she would ever hear my words.

a place where love fits

thinkin back........givin serious thought of where i've been............as all the memories r harder n harder to remember.......and i'm unable to i give in...............seems i'm where i'm suppose to be........nothin til now has meant a damn thing like what it is i'm doin now...........i try to put myself in the past.........but somehow i can't seem to find me in that place in time but how?.........it's as if my mind doesn't wanna return......n my heart is good where it sits.....we all have places in which good n bad has happened.........and a place where our love fits.............yet myself won't let me venture beyond where it is i am........it doesn't make to much of a difference to reminisce on shadows runnin for cover..........i found my place in time.............and the best damn woman within a lover........my slot is filled................somewhere where the me has come back to life..............................yet i look into the pages my life...........ones that has been written by fallin from flight.........n i realize i needed every speck of learnin i could handle.........for the better of now........for the better understanding.......as i taste it in my mouth.

on a cloud

sittin thinkin, wantin some smoke.
grippin trippin, needin my lungs to choke.
dreamin diggin, needin thoughts roamin.
knowin showin, givin as i open.
leakin bleedin, livin before the raven.
sweatin cavin, shakin on the pavement.
flippin hittin, smokin on a cloud.
tokin holdin, breathin in the silent sound.

forgiven.

i always told myself i didn't wanna be like you.
but the older i get i see your point of view.

pains me to believe in the things you never taught me.
and now that you're lost somewhere in a dream.
i can only remember and forgive all the times you've failed.
unable to just let things be for us boys have been derailed.
back together because times heals the heart wanting family.
yet having you here will finalize me complete, happily.
yet i stand for what you never took the time to say.
i have become a man without you pulling me apart every other day.
a friend you forgot how to be has been forgiven.
i just wish you were in the flesh alive and living.

subliminal

impressions linger once hands are washed.

and someone's been tossed.

character showin throughout the course of life.

some cut by the knife.

imprints felt and stainin outreached limbs.

fallin inward tryin to win.

morals tellin on the acts one has taken.

sometimes leavin another hatin.

repeating age old ways of self center ism.

loss of inner vision.

non visual marks scarin what's left.

layin feelins to rest.

role playin in the presence and likes of others.

losin frineds and lovers.

influential displays of irritatin fakes.

stoppin and slammin on the breaks.

vague memories of times left scattered in frustration.

lost in the limitation.

engraved so brilliantly within a stranger.

no one knows the true danger.

molded faces smilin life away.

dead inside and fadin into the days.

effects changin other individuals.

subliminal.

eNoUgH

OUT THERE. seems i am the only one fighting with me.
breaking down inside of me. IT'S NOT MUCH FUN.
EVEN WITH THE RICHES OF LOVE. i am to hard.
pushing me. I DO NOT THINK I WILL EVER BE TRULY HAPPY WITH ME.
CAN NOT SEEM TO DO ENOUGH. FEELS I AM FAILING SITTING STILL.
GIVING MYSELF HELL. forcing the issue.
pressing onward without bodily care. SELF NEVER MATTERS.
AND I AM USE TO IT. it is what it is.
i am me and it is what i do. AS I CAN NOT GIVE IN OR COME UNGLUED.
CONSTANTLY MOVING. someone has to get the job done.
who better than me? I CAN NOT SIT LONG ENOUGH TO RELAX.
I HAVE BECOME TO CONTENT. letting the load way me down.
doing all i can. FOR THE BETTER OF WHAT IS PLAYING OUT IN MY MIND.
I WILL NOT QUIT. for i will never forgive myself.
just wish i could let myself down every now and then. FOR ME.
BUT I AM UNABLE. i am not made to slack off and let it linger.
it has to be done. SO EVERYONE CAN ENJOY THEIR TIME.
I PUT IT ON ME. i take the blame if all else fails.
i feel the end of the day. AS IT TELLS ME HOW LITTLE I HAVE DONE.
AND I KNOW IT IS ALL IN MY MIND. yet i can not shake it.
i have been told i do to much. FROM MORE THAN ONE.
BUT EVERY TIME I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING I WANTED EVEN MORE. in a lover.
a friend i want to hold. AND STILL IT IS NEVER ENOUGH.
I FIND MYSELF LESS OF ME. always trying i seem to get the best of me.
i just want a life filled in the eyes of some one special. AND BE RID OF THIS BURDEN.
THIS WAY I HAVE BECOME. but i do not think it will ever lift.
i have already got it in my head to do all i can. AND THAT IS WHAT MAKES ME, ME.
OUT IN THE WIND. waiting on the breeze to take it all away.
as if it never mattered how hard i have tried. IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.
NOT LIKE I REAP THE REWARDS. i just donot want to see love walk out the door.
as if i am not good enough. REPEATING ITSELF AND IT IS GETTING OLD.
NOTE TO SELF: i do believe i have found my one.
the individual that will never walk away. sticking around to be a true friend.
and it feels good. KNOWING SOMEONE HAS MY BACK.
BUT I STILL CAN NOT GIVE IN. i will always drive myself crazy.

a dream

the past is nothing more than a dream one learns from as if it were really real and happening.
in and out of reality forcing a smile to get to where one is suppose to be it's saddening.
faces burning their imagined engraved image into the walls of the minds weakness.
it's as real as never getting back to those lost in a place of gone forever in begging pleases.
pieces scattered inside as if la la land gave in and allowed one to live without dying.
trying to escape to become more than feelings and thoughts shoved deep within crying.
swallowed to forget all that's gone wrong and left pretending they really happened within.
in complete denial facing the demons that push and give memories to bad places to roam as they give in.
relapsing on thoughts unwilling to give up or go away in the now as to will catch up to the head.
leaving you bent over feeling how it was all a dream giving false hope and taken again joining the undead.
it's no more than everything that's gone wrong that's not worth the time to fade away.
and the cage of what's left is driving the rest of your world completely insane at the end of the day.

decision

pulled in from this cold world and held in caring arms you have a warm place to rest.
keep it real and believe in me and you will forever have something as rare as a true friend.
make your own decision in this life on where it is you think you will always belong happily.
kick back and stay a while and if it's worth your time opening up and confiding in me.
i'll be at your beckon call 24 -7 in love with the way you love me as we do us together.
become more than lovers rolling under the covers and express feeling to each other.
i'm just looking for a way to touch you outside my mind where you exist in the flesh.
all my life i've waited on the presence of a woman and over and over again been put to the test.
i'm ready and waiting on the individual within you to show me it's me living in your heart.
dragged in from a walk you looked so lost without love i offer something as new as a fresh start.
speak my name as i whisper yours in your ear ever so softly as we get lost.
i know you've heard it before but i promise my love will never fade or become the boss.
your smile is all i'm trying to save as mine is at ruins without you standing by my side.
so as you explore what it is i claim to be about, remember it's your own decision in your very own life.

how far?

how far you have been?
how far are you willing to go?
all and everything under the moon.
how far does your mind soak inside itself?
how far down do you flirt with your own intentions?
inside your padded room.

how far gone is the minds rough side?
how far in will it allow me to play?
deep in the world called your own.
how far past reality is it from coming back?
how far do i have to reach?
just to tickle who you really are full grown.

how far before you scare yourself?
how far until you run for cover?
because i wanna play on the other side.
how far within is your happiness hiding?
how far beyond the norm has your hormones tasted?
because i see it in your eyes.

how far is a question needing to be answered.
how far with me will u go?
i'm digging in and so ready to do this.
how far for the one willing to give the time?
how far in a time of now?
be my thrill and give into the seeking bliss.

ghost

ghost within walkin with every step.
tryin to get out at our very end.
invisible to the naked eye.
it feels our every cry.
battlin with endless emotion.
takin all the the uncontrolled erosion.
smellin the rotten ones we've become.
ready for it's ride to be done.
the soul of the unfortunate ghost.
creeps in perfect stride with it's host.
true to the one who holds it's existence.
with extreme patience.
glidin along with the confusion.
laughin because it to will lose u.........

escaping inward

riding on the emotions unable to be thought out through the mind.
i creep inside and play with the way every time you refuse to hide.
chasing dreams gathered by my comfort zone that's given the time of day.
escaping inward to invent a new game we can not imagine how to tame.
it's insanities playful side of the ruff working out the wasted space.
giving into how you pull out the shadows tucked secretively and placed upon my face.
on the back of living within our time slowly grinding our moment of pleasure.
cracks in the skull is the only way to get into see what i have in store for you.

another place

imma luv u til my time has come.
n if possible imma luv when we finally go home.
in another place livin our luv can live heaven.
as i patiently wait 4 ur face 2 smile 24 -7.

every time

faded promises ever time one turns around.
one can only wish they could barely hear it's endless sound.
voices telling lies before they come true.
all because one believed in an other as they fell completely through.
spoken soft and broken in the same making two ends.
separated again like a stranger without a friend.
squeaks and moans lost without the movement.
seems good things always lose their enjoyment.
slipping from the mouth never to return.
left empty inside all because one still hasn't learned.
words redirected and unclear losing credibility.
walking away from the love turned hate and humility.
dreams unfulfilled by lips sleek vocab giving up.
like it isn't what we thought or even thunk.
paying attention to the signs popping out of the blue.
giving reasons why we must do what we do.
every time curled up in a ball wondering.
when is mine coming with it's life long offering.
misplaced minds and confused hearts.
never 100% sure the other will do their part.
feelings having to start over with every split.
redefining self for a better chance to love and live.
becoming stronger than the last time a smile was stuck.
still winding up confused and thinking wtf.
it's hard to listen to def letters scrambled in form.
when their absence has settled in place of the comforting norm.
reinventing a life inside ones own mind.
forgetting how time allowed two to unwind.
it's sad how love changes every time in a new direction.
when one of the two in that moment meant it, and had true intentions.

u ever?

u ever felt the way real strokes ur ego?
u ever realized how it is once tasted, u can't let go?
u ever been so real b.s. gave up?
u ever gave completely the fuck up?
u ever watched how it faded on fakes face as u walked away?
u ever took realism by the hand n led the way?
u ever taken over yourself n earned urs?
u ever dug in2 the chest of faint n squeezed it's purr?
u ever allowed real to truly inter ur mind?
u ever found out what real was tryin to help u find?
u ever thought of y every1 is such a waste?
u ever broke away n found yourself lookin in on hate?
u ever stood on the neck of the untrue n laughed?
u ever read somethin that questioned what it is u thought u might of had?

the way

sweat drippin from the inner heat stroke brought on by the way my hands firmly shape your curves and hug ur hips.
wind coolin the flesh as the breeze flows by admirin the way we slowly touch a savorin sip of the chemistry loosened at the lips.

goose bumps form as the body shivers a shake but we can't tell if it's the mood swingin for the better or the way the air tickles the skin.
over heated on the inside and froze on the out as we're watchin the way the excitment within our breath is ecsapin.

flamin hot we sizzle from within as the skin is so cold leavin us teeterin on the brink of love's game fallin into the way we're envadin space.
feelin the warmth as we become flush enough to relieve the chill as we enjoy what's goin on by the way one an other tastes.

body temp. rises with every kiss as it drops as fast as we separate in between the way each greetin of affection is affiliated with every individual fulfilled notion.
blazin inward the emotions feel of a fever to great for the frozen heart thawin to withstand the way we express hornish intentions.

fuelin the fire risen from the moment of acceptance as the ice drips off of the way our souls inner walls warm quicker than we're fallin.
cores are boilin and in need of a change in temperatures to balance out the way the transformation has allowed us to find our callin.

liquifyin feelins melted and remolded in form of the imprint of a new found touch makin all the right moves in the way of the days beginnin.
stirrin up vapors evaporatin into the silky night air without flaw and temptin the way the flame is lit so smooth in the moment we're sharin.

deep

coming up from so deep down. i feel it every other moment i stand next to you. when absent in my day i search for the warmth snuggled up that seems to have disappeared. gone too long yet it's only brief in time as i wait to see the reaction on your face. the response of a for letter word expressed directly to your heart. heard by the ear triggering the brain to react without flaw. i can't wait to do more than visualize you before me. i am playing within on thoughts of holding you close. as if the depth of my love can not be found for they run deeper than i have ever allowed. bringing forth all i am and shown. i can not hide what it is you do to me and never will. this is deep. so far down i can not pull it all out. i am digging and yet i find more than i can handle. your to much for me to take as i have found bits and pieces of you spread and sprinkled throughout the walls of my heart and mind. leaving your footprints forever embedded on my soul. i follow them and wind up on a path of angel dust for me to find you. i believe i have lost control of the one i was in touch with. i have discovered you laying about chilling within the deepest emotion i posses. moving me at will without even trying. i have teetered on the balance of happiness until you walked into my life. and now all i can do is realize how much i love to love you as you linger deep enough to settle within me forever. slipping only through the tears pouring out of my eyes. floating away with the breeze as a love that will forever be missed.

boomerang

boomerang. right back atcha. with a stare in ya direction.
sayin i wanna get witcha. lay ya down n ease ya on my erections.
u betta last. cuz i betcha will when the pulse starts ta go.
i jus wanna be in ya. feel ya in ways i can dig ya once i grow.
to lay ya down n flip ya ova. ride ya like no1 could lika i can.
with ya 2 please ya. is all i wanna give ya is all i am.
4 ya id do ya good. i feel tha emotion poundin a vibe.
it's a showin through ya movement. within ya i can see a good time.
share a moment n be with a man. i gotta lotta luv ta give.
boomerang i a give it back 2 ya. i can show ya how ta live.

a love upon my skin

doing. that's what u do.
growing. hard at the site of u.
pumping. pleasure awaits.
pleasing. letting anatomy escape.
singing. screams heated by the night.
winning. the battle of the fight.
waring. a love upon my skin.
daring. the next level to give in.
holding. long enough to climax.
folding. as i attempt to relax.
craving. the sensation of slippery fun.
coming. we release the power of one.

a man of stone softened

iv'e never expressed it & meant it in so many ways. i feel you in my heart and my mind wants you to stay.
love slips from the tongue like a kiss from the lips. wanting you in ways that makes the mouth water & drip.
it's a trip the way love has spun me out of control & i am in love with you as the man within has been stolen.
a single word powerful enough to change lives forever. & all i want is for us feel this thing through & to stay together.
your my gravity keeping me grounded so i don't get lost. float away & endure what's left at a loss.
the stillness in my eyes is stuck on your face. & how is it every time i turn around i am all up in your space?
you've triggered my sweet spot & i'm always hungry. wanting more as i'm willing to sign my name legibly.
speaking softly my lips lose words as if unspoken. not felt physically i feel the power of letters as if they were written.
a man of stone softened enough to become whole again in your presence. i stand in love with your beautiful essence.