Awaiting...

I've watched sunsets i wanted too share with someone. Been to places all on my own. Lived most of my life feeling insignificant as i remain on the run. All bcuz I'm a lil different i haven't found home. My hearts poured itself out until there was nothing left to touch. Just to find there's an endless will to be luv'd. As patience have through time became stable with no rush. Yet I'm yet to give into the slither of trust. Even rhythm there's things I'd rather do with another living in comfort with me. Trips n voyages to chilling on the couch living free. Guess some thoughts are meant to be suspended in dreams. As pieces within crave the motion of inner makings opening up so there no longer a secret. I awaken to mornings awaiting me to give me a chance. But that one desire well being seeks somehow is never inhanced. Although i tell myself daily that time is running out on me saying i can't. Somethings stirring up in my chest that wants to experience where emotions truly are remain as they land. From the mountains to the desserts I've seen it all. Roadways all lead to the same emptiness no matter where the mind falls. Dropping with the head to rest listening to the silence of the walls. I wish i had the remote to the shit show bcuz it would be the one thing I'd unpause. To remad release me from the solo act so i can believe again. But then again the fear resurfaces to strangle hope damned. As i shit n winner where's my biggest fan? The adventure is in need to drift away from the moment i mage a strand. Witb a stranger attempting to attend crossing over with luv to give. Off to wherever to much more than just fingers tickling the ribs. With footprints in the sand to show where kisses met lips. Where's paradise?

One touch...

It's reaching for her face n feeling her lean into ur palm. Free is emotion allowing use to pause on her cheek aa still aa ahe becomes calm. Head tilting sideways bcuz she believes in the touch that means no harm. It's the way she sinks in n sigh as if u can caress her heart. The visual alone creates a crave of passion that comes to life. Creating a moment for the memory to own tucked away in the mind. She's pure beauty in her brief comfort as far as the eyes can see. N for an instant she makes it so fuckin hard to breathe. So soft n tender with her face cuddled in ur grasp. I'm luv with the fact that it's u wanting it to be her as the perfect match. Oh how lovely the gesture of her truths coming out to live. As she slightly turns to give the skin a kiss. Burying her lips into the texture so deep ur own heart caters to the scene. As she lifts up n smiles like she cane straight outta the most sacred dream. With a twinkle made just for u. Her dimples shows how u help her heartbeats move. Just listening to her motionless expression speak without words. Knows it only takes a few seconds to change her world...

Not feeling it...

When u find yourself lost in someone else's arms. As u lay there some place u know u don't belong. As a nerve opens up to avoid the pain. When the moment is something u cannot escape. With their flutters bouncing off of your hidden passions. Hoping life will give a chance at what the mind imagines. Hoping the heart will forget as the linger fades. With a stranger wanting to be the same ol face. Motionles with a new found friend something just isn't right. Unable to loosen up so luv can have a life. Unable is the fear desires fight the most. Motionless n affraid self doesn't recognise the room as home. Touched by fingertips wanting access into the chest. Knowing there's nothing for them to invest. Knowing self shouldn't be alone with them at all. Touched has an eerie way of confronting thoughts in the head clombing walls. Thinking where if not here does one fit in. Missing the point by listening to the pulse tug on the grin. Missing a comfort from a time not so long ago. Thinking wtf is gonna come of being alone. Ticking away are thumps gone to waste. Never to be caught by hands n kept as fate. Never to accept another willing to be. Ticking is seconds before they realize i ain't me...

I avoided writing this one a few yrs ago. Kinda forgot about the situation...

i'm ur guy...

Talk to me. Tell me wtf triggers ur crave. i can't tell from the outside peeking in when ur not allowing me to see u in ur rarest form. show me ur norm. so i can attempt to slide in rhythm without missing a beat. come out n play with me. tangle yourself up in my own version of life. walking through the curiosities of the mind. where no feet has ever stepped before. come with me as we open the secrets behind locked doors. who else would u wanna get to know that part of u? u can lead the way at ur pace as we find a groove. adjust yourself a lil bit n free up what you've tucked away. of me, do not be afraid. i could be the wonder triggering thoughts that cannot visualize who it is to compels inner makings to live in another way. with me enjoying the sound of names said that rearranges the expressions upon our face. speak n it shall be. there can be a u, n there can be a me. drifting off into memories made for just two. off to wherever we wind up. lets allow like to feel the transformation of luv. i'm all in if u be who u truly are. able to bare all the details that make trusting someone so hard. i ain't hear to cause a fuss. i'm trying to live in the piece of mind that doesn't havta fight n cuss. so if u could use a friend for the rest of what there is of life. i'm ur guy...

Where o where...

I wanna see the day come where i witness the thankful look of me being alive. I wanna meet you face to face appreciating the fact that we get to share what's left of life. So you can understand the stare lookin back at you with passion in my eyes. Happy to know you've made it to be more than a wonder in the mind. As dreams are not needed when the reality of together damn newar can pause time. One day lips will feel the touch of the last set they will be pressed against followed by a sigh. I'm not rushing to hurt for the now isn't something one can get back. But the wait is fucking with my patience bcuz you're not my grasp. Come by sunset i could only wish we'd turn the right way n find the friend we will fall into as out walls collapse. Thrilled to do more than imagine the chest feeling luv's act. In the presence of truths like the eyes design telling each other so the response is comfortable with how we react. Where o where. Are you here or there...

only you...

don't you want it? i have no other use for the emotion held within. it only wants you. and i can't tell it to luv someone new. trying i didn't succeed. it's hooked n insists the mind follows its lead. damn thing has thing thing for for you is the truth. i just figured i'd tell it like it is and see what it is you wanna do. ignoring it hasn't done any good. and to listen to the beats throbbing from deep has their own mood. keeping me awake and distracting me from what i need to get done on a daily. it ain't me. it's this fucking thumper that clings to the feel/ wanting you to recognize its ability to be real. come mornings there's a void and it refuses to entertain anyone else. so all day i linger in thoughts attempting to get it to convert to anything other than what's felt. but it knows you're not interested in depths on a mature vibe. at least not from a pulse that just wants to be a part of your life. bouncing to the rhythm opening up to so much more. so why don't you tell it needs to shut the door. to close up shop and keep it moving so i can live for once. because it doesn't mind me veering off looking around. it knows imma come back to the really point as it laughs out loud. the selfishness of its demeanor is stubborn as fuck. i've tried everything and i'm lost on what to do with what i keep hushed. so take it as a gesture of hope aimed at only you. my heart isn't gonna be content until it feels how yours moves...

Crave...

The thought comes to mind n i wonder every time. I'm curious to know if u think ofme when ur alone. In between the things u havta do do i cling to ut mood?  Making moments in ur head for s lil ehile of u n i layinh in bed. Just shooting the shit with the night to entertain the twist. I pretend it's me u want there with u jus so u can feel me move. Daudreams are so real as if the themselves can feel. The skin on skin touching us as a win win. I play with the visual of u sighing for me to set u free. To unlock ur chest n open u up so i can snuggle ur luv. Yeah i imagine u dreaming of me to awaken to the emptiness of what could be ur happiness. But am i a vision u enjoy as ur hope tells u I'm the void? As i crawl through ur the space behind ur eyes for u to bring me to life. Will i ever be the comfort of u wanting more? Or have i been overlooked in a way i shall never read my name in ur book? It would be so nice to rattle around inside of u as u as u put me to use. As the sight of use together excites the acknowledgement of forever. Do u ever tease yourself by allowing it me to be felt? Bcuz i fantasize about life with u as if I'm hypothesized. Descending into u without fear i better life having u near. Although it's just my imagination running wild as it's u that creates a smile. A peacefulness within is where i go when i wander from realities grip. Trying make myself believe u too have a belief in me...

Just another face...

Avoiding drifters just wanting to be entertained. Bored with the scene of having strangers with options as if famed. The crowd just doesn't fit the feel of the mood. Lost explains the touch moving for not just anyone will do. There's just no interest in competing if self isn't the first pick. Comfort can't attach itself as a runner up if heartbeats were to ever skip. Their eyes are to busy being noticed by others all lined up. Seems the situation in my mind has no chance at luv. Witness to the game of peekaboo played with so many vibes entangled. Creating a confusion that defeats belief due to the fiasco missing candles. Meaningless actions out in the open claiming to be so much. Attempting to be seen to build confidence that grows ugly as such. Childish behaviors ache to have worth from multiple faces. Pointless in the reoccurances of the same ol conversations. Emotion just isn't in to the flip switching of on n off. No one's allowed to come n go looking for someone else in every song. Clinging to physical attractions that repeat altercations ripped from the chest. I'm not for it bcuz I'm made for just one that hasn't found me yet. 

I know the look...

I know you believe bcuz I can see it on your eyes. But i don't feel shit n i don't know why. I try. Maybe I've just cried one too many times. Or it could be that my heart actually gave up on me. Damn the feeling. The emptiness of lost grounds keeps feet stationary from what they can't seem to walk upon. I'm way too far gone. I've been alone so long. Heartbeats to me aren't the rhythm section of the heart playing songs. N i know I'd miss out on the gift you have to give. It would prolly be something worth the live. It's just i haven't it in me to rush to find a way. I got lost in depths n forgotten the feel that has escaped. I listen for it when u speak my name. This isn't a game. I watch how i light up ur face. You just don't know how bad i want a spark to ignite the flame so i have hope. I wanna go home. To land in arms n remain safe with luv shown. But it's like i trust no one n havta remain on my own. I can't shake it. Every time i find a tickle i break a rib. To remind me of the end that doesn't give a shit. Oh the potency of venomous lips. N yeah i know your intent is more mature. But pulling me from within i shouldn't be lured. Lemme naturally progress so my mental estate can understand my inner makings won't be torn. I know you want more. I know the look u share is a gesture for me to recognise. Yet words to me are nothing but lies. N this from you I'm not trying to hide. I'm not broken i just don't need a guide. Patience is life playing out. Real luv never hasta make a sound. Overnight isn't gonna happen to force a belief into the now. Can u see what it is you've found? It's the long haul where earned stays. Where emotion can never be fake. Flowing with an ease as something worth being gained. I'm just yet to remember what it's like to want before it's too late...

Can we not...

Can we just go back to being strangers if things don't work out? To save ourselves from the pain n heartache that follows in tones spat from fowl mouths. Can we skip the part of hate that resents the presence before we turn away? I don't have it in me to relive the dragging of the core n still keep a straight face. Can we simply forget the memories thought to be the best ever lived? Avoiding the revival of the sensation of the luv that once filled our hearts said to have so much to give. Can we skip the fear of losing another friend unlike any other? I don't wanna die n live at the same time by recalling us as a dream of forever. Can we not believe in something other than the today n the way it's spent if we ever we call it quits? Just get on with life n smile regardless of how roads split. Can we get it over with so i can count on me doing what i need to do? To let go like it ain't shit n give truth to relation's remains cut loose. Can we refrain from the betrayal diggin deeper than emotion could ever rip apart the mind? I don't wanna be enough to become a has been lingering with life. Can we pretend we don't if we still care in the aftermath by ignoring the fuckery of the tongue? Never to speak of the torment of living separate lives until death comes. Can we stay single so none of it squeezes tears from eyes that doesn't understand? Alone isn't so bad when we never give in to our biggest fan...

Go on somewhere...

There's no backdoor to the heart so you're gonna havta leave the same way you came in. Just drop the bs on the floor to be claimed by the ribs. Bcuz no fucks are given in the cellar of the depths not even u can reach. N yeah I'll be whatever spews from your lips like a son of a bitch. That's where I'll be enjoying my time n unfazed by your absence. Emotionally dying over torn details is why i don't care or even think twice. We were good once before u truly showed up as someone i could never like. I'm cool with you disappearing n leaving me the fuck alone. I don't need your type of energy disturbing the peacefulness of my home. So off with the shadows that fade into the night. So you can't haunt me in the midnight hrs as i redirect my mind. Unwanted n not needed you have become a memory i wish to erase. For your character plays roles to fit specific selfish gains. I'll watch you walk away with a chuckle knowing you won't be coming back. Now drift with the winds breeze as my hands begin to clap. Out the front is best to get your azz to moving. Get on now, get along so my life can get to improving. Go on somewhere n forget i even exist. I don't want what you got n you certainly won't be missed...

Home alone...

Key fitting. Tumbler twisting. The dream is more than real. The wonder awaits the never ending feel. Lock retracted. Knob contacted. Opening to see what's behind closed doors. Ready to get on with life without the wars. Hope ends. Blank descend. Thoughts fade only wanting to exceed. Nothing aspires with vague breaths that breathe. Stepping in. Checking ribs. Forcing the issue to find home. Pretending not to be so alone. Left, right. Blackened sight. The darker the journey dims as feet shuffle on. Deep into the unknown still goin. Motion spins. Circles win. Going around n back to the beginning of the start. Leaving a void in the eager heart. Lost drifter. Grinding shifter. The norm gets further away than ever before. Eyes close to hide what emotion pours. Standing still. Strong will. Unable to define where the dream has gone. Awakening to a reality that's somehow went wrong. Distant again. Forgotten friend. Dispatched from self n sighing to be felt. Unwilling to believe there is no help.

Forevermore...

I'll have a smile from ear to ear the day i leave thugs place. I'll never again havta feel luv smear my face. I'll be happy knowing my heart is at ease. Safe from others who claim they care as i rest in peace. No one will every be able to hurt my query so pure. As the darkness will own the stillness as the cure. No more believing someone will come along n make it last. For the truth is everyone ends up in the past. Until the day comes to take me from the loneliness. Making certain in comfortable for once laying motionless. Unable to react to a world that's out for self. To leave behind stranger friends that'll fake the luv that wad rarely felt.  I'll be rid of the wonders of sacred thoughts of luv so lousy forevermore. With one final sigh to remember how deep emotions dug in to my core. Strangling n suffocating everything good i never got to give away. Rotting with me will be the aftermath of intent but I'll never hear it say my name. Not one whisper in the isolation will be able to squeeze a tear from my eyes. I'll be gone n time will have passed me by.

Untitled... Older piece. Bad place mentally.

As briefly as it was in such a short life i can say i got to hold my dream girl. N oh how without hesitation she became my whole world. I felt u in my arms n even deeper in my heart. N in luv i fell n never bounced back. As i now struggle with the thought of how I'm to open up to another with doubt that it'll ever last.  Being with u truly fucked me up in ways i don't even was sling meat due to the attachments that come shortly after the hormones do their deed. N even though there's no way to fix any of the chaos i still rather it be u here with me. But i must figure out how to find a lil something to ease my mind the way u were supprosed to.it's ok though bcuz n i mean no disrespect when i say ailowy...  As i turn back life awaiting  my snile to lift me from this spell I'm under. U were so much more than a desired fantasy enjoyed as a luv'r...

Some things just need to be said... I hope u find what makes u feel like the real u...

Numb...

Running away with the voices n tippin a few back. In a dark lil corner in the local watering hole. Losing all common sense just letting the liqueur have its fun.  Oh, n i ain't trying to go home. No luv no loss n I'm out for the night. Letting everything I've every known go.  Tilting the head up like i ain't never looked down at life. Running from reality for a bit to free me but i ain't no hoe. In it for the liquid potency playing with the shadows on my own. Lookin at the bar maid n tappin the counter for one more. Half way lit n feelin it consume me slow. One night in the moment n once abandoned the fort. Movement smoothly with the glass slippin from my bottom lip. No fucks to give is the mindset set on idle for a sec. Peeping strangers bringing their characters out for a sip. Emptying the pocket for another round to let go of what's in the chest. Loosening up with the flow poured from bottles. Fuck it is the mood as my face comes to a pause. Chuckling at the females puttin on a front like they're models. The final call is my favorite of all. 

Thoughts of u...

 I often wonder if u like soft nibbles up the back of ur neck. N warm whispers pulsating in ur ear that make u wet. I get curious to know if me touching u would loosen u the fuck up. Feelin my way along the edges of, the hush. My thoughts wander with the thought of sinking in to u. N yet my lips won't speak to try to get u alone with me in a room. Even though the moment of carressin ur skin would be nice. Bcuz just thinking about it brings me to life. N i enjoy playing with u in my mind before u can escape. But the secret is mine as i taste...

Seeking a snug lil fit...

Moving on n leveling up. It's a lil different without holding on to luv. From keepin it going to rebuilding life. Individualism truly captures the mind. Time drags n hope lingers until it's gone. Waking away from everything that's gone wrong. Finding self in places unrecognizable n strange at the least. All in attempting to find where home tames the beast. Gradually drifting n winging movements free to flow. As lookin around causes confusion on which way to go. Days lose to months that build yrs lost to empty memories never shared. Always wanting to be somewhere else where the contents of the heart are spared. In unfamiliar territories deciphering how easily the feel can rest. One situation at a time to identify reason suffocating on the chest. Wonders wander in between luv'rs coming n going seeking a snug lil fit. Listening for certain tones breaking through sound fluttering from their lips. Sitting with heavy emotions weighing on the mood but never expressed upon the face. Waiting on a friend to appear from depths with the key that unlocks the sacred gates. Not knowing who's who nor of intent yet to surface along the way to eventual ends. Forward as guests relying on placements slowly vibing with a lil time spent. From one bed to the next not as a whore but as to figure out self's true worth. Swiveling heads spin as eyes rotate in sockets not wanting to leak with hurt. Putting truths on the table to relate with just one that comprehends individual efforts shown. Able to maintain without help for as long as it takes to mentally evolve with growth. Hinges swing as if saloon doors closing from an opening stage. Pieces of normal gather use that may or may not be a gain. Onward with question that fade without answers desire drives passion's will. Patient to click with a rare sense of raw that excites the thrill. Comfort attaches itself to a belief once age kicks in. Until then there simply is no win win. Just motions having one purpose n that is to survive. Thinking to self bcuz all else has failed, but at least I'm still alive.