It seems lonely is the only way to stay safe... But damn the feeling of that irritating ache... Jus to be free from the a friend changing their mind... One actually hasta enjoy the silence while the heart is deprived... It's line weighing options that make no fuckin sense... Either wait for the end or kelp up ones defense... Living life without the comforts of hope wrapped up in the arms... Or reach for depths that cannot be find due to trust issues playing their part... Pain is triggered as the brain seeks for an answer... Ignoring natural emotions left to die as some sorta unwanted cancer... Becoming lost yet free from ridicules that eventually surface... As bombs go off destroying friend zones by cuttin off those trying to get close enough to something endless... N it's hard to be finest with self when certain nights keep one awake... Goin down every road that defenders memories due to new ones can't maintain... Drifting into a trans of it be nice to talk for a bit... Then it's right back to nah, fuck that shit... It's almost line a jeckle n hyde spin off where reality clashes with dreams... Showing self can only hide for so long before needing to breathe... Coming up for air After being smothered by images trapped in the head... As fear keeps passion in line so the hurt cannot feel like one is dead... But that's the similarity nothing else can can describe... Going about every day having others believe on such a lie... Quarantining self behind closed doors bcuz one more blow will kill what desire is left... Knowing the chest pounds to release outs worth as it fights to survive doin its best... Although timeless is a figment of the imagination scattered into pieces gathered along the way... Even though it would be nice asf to hold an other at the end of some days... The refusal of attachments becomes a way of life... It jus happens when use simply doesn't give a fuck about random interests wanting to take flight... To leap into the unknown so carelessly it petrifies every nerve... It's a real struggle to admit in the mirror that someone else's voice would be put to use... Once the independence creeps in n the belief of not needing anyone is all to real... When all the good is guarded it jus cannot be used even if one had healed... The solitude wins of the recovery drags out longer than needs due to the levels dug into to give ones all... It's as if hearing ones own heartbeat is better than the crawl... Attempting to redefine self after the big bang excludes the partaking in a new find strangers world... Sent back to a prior life one shouldn't have abandoned as thumbs twirl... The distance will develop a stillness that appreciates beyond left the fuck be... So no one can get beneath the skin jus to one day leave...
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