Fuck it...

I never thought it be like this... Shit... Not this way... Feeling the pits of luv wanting to escape... Fuck... What I'd do to be touched... Beneath a moment of a decent conversation comin to life... One that lasts all night... Yet, here I am... Rebuilding home checking who I am as a man... Hiding the facts that a good woman is wanted... One to make me feel like I'm something... Knowing I've been let down in the past... As it wasn't my fault I want matched... But fuck it ya know... What's one to do sitting night after night alone.?. N it's not fear that shelters the heart... It's the absence of an other willing to play their cards... Laying around or finding something to do... Jus having someone around for the comfort that moves... Repositioning... Responding...

N I'm here doin nothin at all... Watching movies wondering wtf... Keeping these words hushed... How could I have lost my way... Then again, I don't havta relieve old days... It's jus the nights that creep up from beneath the creases of the mind... Remembering how it felt to hold on to a body so tight... N my curiosity drifts on the whereabouts of who don't know they're thinking of me... Wanting to get outta the house n breathe... It's a damn shame to have something worth a fuck to give n have to hold it in... It's bullshit but it's worth the live... So I say make myself feel better than I did moments ago... As if it works to lie to myself that I'd rather be a hoe... Like that's any better to have meaningless intercourse... Fuck it, I'll jus watch porn...