IDK

IDK? THE FUTURE ISN'T HERE YET. IS THIS GONNA BE IT? IDK IF THINGS WILL COME TOGETHER? MY END IS PRETTY DAMN SOLID. GOT A LOT TO GIVE. BUT IDK IF YOU'RE READY TO GROW INTO A POSITION IT SEEMS YOU'RE NOT READY FOR. U SEE I'M FINDING IT HARDER AND HARDER WHEN WE TALK TO SEE WHERE IT IS YOUR WANTING TO GO. AND IDK IF IT IS THE SAME WAY I'M HEADED. ANYONE CAN TALK A GOOD GAME. BUT GAMES IS NOT WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. AND I JUST DON'T KNOW. TO HEAR YOU TALK MAKES ME THINK YOU STILL HAVE SOME MATURING TO DO. SOME THINKING OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT AND ARE WILLING TO DO. AS AN ADULT, WHERE IS UR MIND? CUZ I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW. WHERE'S YOUR END? WHAT IS UR ANGLE? I GIVE IT MY ALL EVERYDAY. ARE YOU TRYING? OR TRYING TO WALK AWAY? IDK. OPPORTUNITIES ARE THERE. YET YUO FAIL TO SEEK THOSE THINGS THAT COULD HELP. WILLING TO GIVE UP CUZ YOU DON'T WANT TO OR ITS FRUSTRATING. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR THAT. I WANT A WOMAN WHO CAN MAINTAIN. A REAL WOMAN WHO DOESN'T ACT LIKE SHE'S INSANE FOR HER OWN DEFENSE. WE ALL FEEL THE SAME. WE LIVE, WE LEARN, WE COPE, AND WE MOVE ON. YOU SPEAK OF THE PAST IN SUCH A WAY THAT IS MAKING ME WATCH. I TRY TO TALK BUT IT SEEMS YOU FEEL I WANT TO CHANGE U. IDK IF THIS IS GONNA PAN OUT. I WOULDD LIKE IT TO. AND I'M TRYING. BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME I'M HOLDING MY BREATH. IS MY FACE BLUE? ARE YOU IN THIS? I'M TRYING TO FIND YOU BUT IDK IF U WANT ME TO. I CAN'T HELP BUT TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF. NOR EXPRESS MY FEELINGS THROUGH THESE DIDDLES. IDK IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS THAT GETS THE BETTER OF ME IN A WOMAN. ITS NOT SEX. NOT HOW MUCH SHE MAKES. HOW GREAT SHE IS WITH MY KIDS. IT'S HOW SHE CARRIES HERSELF. AND I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU. STUDYING. CUZ I GOTTA KNOW BFORE I WASTE TIME I CAN'T GET BACK ON SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T GET THE BIGGER PICTURE. IDK IF U DO. THAT NEXT LEVEL IS A MOTHER FUCKER, BUT IT'S WORTH IT. I THINK YOU BELIEVE YOU DO. I HOPE YOU DO. BUT YOUR ACTIONS ARE TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY. SEEMS YOUR MORE INTO HAVING FUN. AS IF BUSINESS IS SECOND NATURE. YET IT'S THE ONE THING THAT GIVES ANYONE WILLING TO TRY A BETTER CHANCE TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE? CAN YOU TRULY FEEL ME? CUZ LIFE ISN'T SOMETHING I WANNA PISS AWAY. IDK IF YOU KNOW HOW FAST I AM ABLE TO TURN MY HEAD. LIKE YOU SAY YOU CAN AS WELL. LOOKING OUT FOR SELF FIRST. THAT'S RESPECTABLE. AND THAT'S NOT A THREAT. IT'S JUST FACT. I WANT YOU AROUND. THAT'S Y I'M WILLING 2 GIVE IT SOME TIME. I LUV BEING AROUND YOU. AND IF YOUR PAYING ATTENTION YOUR GONNA READ THIS. CUZ IT'S GOING TO BE POSTED WITHOUT TELLING YOU. I NEED YOU TO STEP TO THE PLATE LIKE A WOMAN WHO WANTS IT TO COME TOGETHER AS I DO. THESE WORDS ARE AS REAL AS MY FACE CAN EXPRESS. NOT HIDING THEM, YET WAITING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR THE GOOD IN MY LIFE. IDK WHERE THIS IS GOING. BUT I'M WILLING TO FIND OUT. AND I'M WAITING TO SEE IF YOUR MOTHER HOOD IS GOING TO CATCH UP TO YOU. HONESTLY I DON'T GET YOU. BUT I'M WILLING. I'VE NEVER SEEN A MOM DO AS YOU DO. GIVING IN FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN OF FREEDOM. ALLOWING A GAP TO BE FORMED BETWEEN YOUR BLOOD. MAYBE IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS BUT KIDS ARE SPONGES AND THEY REMEMBER EVERYTHING. HOW YOU TREAT THEM TO THE TIME SPENT AND HOW IT'S SPENT. THE VERBAL COMMUNICATION AND ALL THE ABOVE. IDK IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY. BUT I'M SITTING HERE THINKING OF YOU. TRYING TO FIGURE YOU OUT. THAT'S ALL THIS IS. JOTTED DOWN THOUGHTS. AND YOUR WHERE? DRINKING. NOT THAT IT'S A BAD THING BUT IT'S NOT ME AS OFTEN. I GOT THREE KIDS I'M TRYING TO RAISE. DUI'S, I DON'T NEED. SORRY IF THAT STRIKES A NERVE BUT HEY! IT'S HOW I SEE THINGS. ILU AND I WOULD LIKE FOR THIS TO WORK. BUT IDK IF IT WILL OR WON'T. WHEN WE GET THERE, I GUESS WE'LL SEE. YOU SEE, YOUR WORD IS KINDA SHAKY. THAT WORRIES ME. TELLING PEOPLE YOUR GOING TO DO SOMETHING AND TURN YOUR HEAD AND CHANGE YOUR MIND OR DO ANOTHER. IT IS KINDA HARD TO WATCH. CAN U FEEL ME? DO U FOLLOW? IN A MATURE MIND. BE YOU N THINK. BUNCHEES. YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. I WANT IT 2 WORK. I'M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOU. LIVE YOUR LIFE. YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE WHEN WE MET. AND I MEAN THAT WE CAN WALK TOGETHER AND STILL DO AS WE DO. AT TIMES BY OURSELVES. GETTING ME TIME. SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED. I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE WHAT I'VE HAVE ENDURED. NOT ONLY ABOUT THIS WORLD AND PEOPLE BUT WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT ME. WHO I AM. WHAT I WANT. WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. ARE YOU READY FOR ME? CUZ IDK IF IT'S ME YOU REALLY WANT. IT SOUNDS LIKE EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND YOUR SAYING MAYBE WE WEREN'T MEANT TO BE. WHAT IS THAT? PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENCES. WHICH ONES OF MINE CAN YOU LIVE WITH OR LIVE WITHOUT? I'M JUST CHECKING IN ON YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS ONCE AGAIN. SHARING MINE. LIVE YOUR LIFE AND MEET ME IN THE MIDDLE IF YOU CAN. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.WAITING FOR YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT. CUZ I THINK I KNOW.