awake

stuck in the middle, always picking at what is before me that tells me it feels me.
every time i get saddled up, my mind takes over and helps the heart protect itself to stay free.
it is important to watch in curiosity of how one carries themselves on their walk and their sway.
always looking for that one who has what it takes for i am brutally awake.
unwilling to settle for just anyone who appears to be about what i am needing.
keeping those in sheep's clothing close enough yet far from out of reach, teaching.
eluding them until i get an insight of what they hide under their breathing.
never letting my guard down to those who can not comprehend a mature must of why.
without plucking at what is needing to be known deep within a strangers mind.
and somehow exploring these things with all of them i seem to come up short and yes i do know why.
i am searching in a seek and live scenario behind the eyes of whom stands with me in time.
yet things never are what they appear, repeatedly turning out to be in the moment of being right now.
i open the mind with a wide range and try defining a silhouette's shape and how it shifts from one to the next, and wow!
wanting to touch what i dream when all lights have been dismissed from a single days exhaustion.
wondering and tossing with the silence ignoring my moans of frustration getting the better of me when no one can see the implosion.
climbing aboard ones way of life is not an easy task to maintain when wanting to find each other.
so i do as i do just so i know at my end that i have indeed found something much more than a lover.
constantly pulling seems to make sure the connection in defense mode helps the tugging for comfort.
breaking down decisions, actions, and words spoken for what they are before i abort.
and communication is the key of any situation, never being left in the dark wondering what the fuck?
it is all about trust and what one does that shows in time what speaks a tale of something far above lust.
i can not help seeing things in ways others can not catch with the naked eye.
peeking a looksie at the repeating motions that if gotten to close, it could make a grown man cry.
dealing with chameleons time and time after time and again with time whispering the truth.
fighting back, stronger for the next time to hopefully hold what just may be a real friend of mine that i can get into.
putting the masks of ones passed aside to begin to side with whom they are.
keeping in mind the faces in which they wore play them like a puppet, as they just may be playing to parts.
i have been changed and i am very much awake!
guaranteed to remain untamed for self sake.