"MY LITTLE PIECE OF .COM"

Friday, February 12, 2010

those days




u c, i didnt cum from a good area. daddy was gone. but i remember everyone dat came thru dat door, n i luv evry last 1 of em. dey put bread on da table n taught me sumtin in there own way, Big Tony, light skin cat, Quintins daddy, who now lays in da ground wit him, Tony got shot nine times, still had his life till da pills took dat away. James, Ol man Talley, i wouldnt kno how 2 fight if it wasnt 4 him, he'd clear out da livin room n let us go at it, mama didnt like it, but James always got er 2 give in, we were boys in da hood, we had 2 learn, i remember him chasin my ol man out da house wit a motorcylce chain, wow, he had us eatin cornbread n sugar water, said u could servive on it, Morse works @ walmart, talk every chance i get, u c, he taught me how 2 play spades, not long aftr, mama turned gay? i didnt kno wat dat meant, but Rotanda taught me how 2 live, a chick taught me how 2 ball, how u like dat? if u dont, f.u.,dats as simple as it gets, n im not errogent, i can remember rose, she wasnt human by far, jus a 3 foot long glass tub, opened on both ends, wit a single stemed rose up da side mama use 2 fill wit dat sticky icky from her power hitter, as we took it 2 head, hell i was 6, gettin joints 4 x-mas, there were so many parties, sent 2 play upstairs wit chips n a bad case of da munchies, damn, cops bein called, mama would c em cummin n turn dat sh!it down, lol, mama was crazy, goin toe 2 toe wit any1 dat couldnt let it go, n evry1 knos she couldnt, but it was all good, my friends use 2 call er a warden, we wasnt allowed 2 do wat dey were doin, isolated, turnin inward, a bomb ready 2 explode, but back 2 da story, Brenda, she was cool as hell, still ball wit er nephews, J n Mike, dem r my people, i dont care if our skin isnt da same color, dey treated us like fam, spent many holidays wit em, den there was Deb, ha ha, black chick in cowboy boots, funny sh!t, didnt last long, mama had a 40 inner hand b4 long, its jus da way it was, mama married a woman, but u better watch ur mouth, im a non violent fella, but i"ll let u feel da luv im missin, u c, i went 2 da ghetto schools where i was da minority, but i didnt mind, they were who i was, goin thru da same sh!t, evry1 was lost, n along da way misplace in a coffin, u evr lost sum1? sum1 dat was of no relation, but u missed em cuz dey were from da same hood, walkin da same broke down azz charity newsy shoes, walkin 2 school wit u, theres a void, i learned early dont get close 2 no1, u'll only wind up gettin hurt, hmm, those were da days, playin g.i joes, street football, tackle, b4 1 thought about wat we called ho's, u r where u cum from, but u can learn 2 do da right thing, wish mama wouldve taught me dat 1, hell, wish she wouldve taught me a lil bout sumtin, i luv er, n she did er best 2 raise 4 boys, but sumhow i feel she didnt make dat time 2 connect, n i struggled in confusion 4 so long, lost tryin 2 find a man abscent from witin, no no chance in hell 2 win, jus anothr kid from da ruff side of town, i came a long way, but da sh!t i seen in da streets, SHORT NORTH was crazy, cop chases, bloody bodies, birds in da sky, swat kickin in da doors on more than a few different houses on jus our block, throwin mama n er friends on da ground, n dey didnt do sh!t, how can i resect da police, yet i do, ol man frankie sellin a ball, turn round n smoke1 wit da same mo fo he jus sold it 2, junkies layin in da alleys, shootin up, damn i seen 2 much, wonder y i neva f*cked wit drugs othr den weed, n yes i have sold dat 2 make my bills, hell da kids gotta eat, cant say i miss it, but it was wat it was, only if all of us had da same oppertunities, cuz da teachers i knew cumin up, failed me, i hated school, i felt so misplace, ova looked, i gave up 4 a while, hell mama held me back in da 2nd grade, i wasnt gonna tell er y, shed beat da sh!t outta me, mama hit like man, n if u thought u were bout it, shed swing her ball bat 2 ur head, she didnt f*ck round, its a wonder im not all f*cked up, but me bein me, imma sponge 4 real sh!t, i can learn dat, quickly, mayb its jus da hood in me, servive, common sense, always watchin my back n neva lettin any1 in, @ least til here recently in da last few yrs, dont judge me, i could b so much worse, ghetto as fuck, i jus dont c its worth, yet it still lingers, catchin myself from time 2 time, backin down, cuz i got kids, jus a few words iv neva spoke of, 4 ur lips 2 taste as u read dis f*ck*d up sh!t...its deep

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