jus lettin go

it's jus i thought of u for so long.
processed 2 taste u upon my lips jus long nuff 2 imagine.
i jus thought of u today and could'nt smile.
u were gone as if i was jus to never happen.

i'm jus makin due so i don't get lost
but as i think of u i jus find myself in wonder.
where u went and where have u been as u jus did u.
n now that i see u went n jus found u a lover.

i sit back and am forced to let go so u can jus be.
i felt a part of me release u today jus cuz u look so happy.
kids n marriage and jus a happy world so fulfilled.
deep down i jus wish it were me.

u see i have no ties holdin me down n jus would like to talk.
jus wanna catch up n find out who u'v become.
i've come lookin n jus found myself cavin in.
seems to be the way it is suppose 2 be as i jus can't have that one.

carryin u for so long i'm jus a fool too believe.
all these yrs i jus imagined what it felt like.
to hold u n jus have my chance to luv.
but it's cool as i chalk it as u never thought of me that way, jus lettin go of the fight.

wats goin on?

wat do u know?
bout me?
wat is it u c?
wat da fuck is it u want from me?
im tryin 2 hold it back.
but my confusion is gettin da best of me.
losin me.
lost wit no response of wats is goin on.
understandin outta sight.
n i dont get it 1 bit.
so wat is it u seek?
within me.
as i sit here in a daze.
findin ways to tell u off.
hung by a string.
i feel tha end comin.
releasin tha way.
in which u cause this state of stupidity.

sixth man

im da sixth man out, azzed out wit minimum play time.

i could change evrything if givin a chance 2 shine.

u dont kno me cuz im cumin off da bench wit da capability of scorin all night.

watch my game show u how i can shut off da lights.

put me in coach, let me @ dat trophy.

im jumpin 2 da situation, n evry1 knows it.

im sittin n waitin 2 turn it on, wit a display of ease.

ready 2 go 2 work, face 2 face da closer i lean.

showin a world i could make a difference.

sittin out wit my patience runnin thin, but in an instant.

da game could b ova, n whod lose?

gimme da last shot, n i'll prove y im da 1-2 choose.

i put me on da line, n evryhting i luv.

cuz i jus cant seem 2 get enough.

lets

lets make lust, roll round all night n fuck.

see where dat goes, no emotions, jus moans.

screamin profanity, lets loose of our sanity.

dirty talk n turn each other on, put on our horns.

talk dirty, act unforgivably flitry.

want each other so bad, act like we wanna be had.

show sum interest, sweat n suck n kiss.

jus do us, sumtin sexual on da hush.

be my fantasy, down on both knees.

bent over on all fours, as i give more n more.

id give u sum tongue, as i make lunch outcha n munch.

like wild animals outta control 4 a lil while, n smile.

set aside proper behavior, n jus see where we wind up later.

let our nakedness be touched, til weve had more than enough.

help each other get off, go all out n get lost.

til we tap out n give up, without dat thing called luv.

420 on my mind.

feelin dat swag like a fresh new sack.

a bag of dat sticky icky helpin my mind roll back.

sendin all dem bad thoughts back 2 da past.

smokey moans, mmm, lets c how long it lasts.

cuz i can do dis all night long.

aint got shit 2 do but puff til da early morn.

n do it all ova til i feed my jones.

ahh, til i feel it in my bones.

lets get icky, blaze sum stincky sticky.

roll dat shit up n licky licky.

puff puf mutha fucka, givy givy

stop bein so god damn stingy.

pass dat shit round my way.

u'll get it back eventually sumtime 2day.

mayb, if u play nice u might jus get a taste.

o look how da smoke tends 2 fade.

up as it goes, oh no whered it go?

till its all gone wantin so much mo.

chokin, feelin da way it helps me flo.

helpin me find my comfort zone.

1 toke 4 sanity so i dont wip yo azz.

smoke wit me n 4get all dat jazz.

get smashed n roll it in cold hard cash.

hit it quick cuz dis shit wont last.

420 on my mind playin games wit da grind.

findin out wat da imagination can only attepmt 2 find.

in dat space btweeen my ears dat is called all mine.

wit time 2 spare 2 read da signs it hides.

slowly bringin in2 sight da fight in which i side.

where dis man sits n resides beneath da lights.

sittin back smokin his dime.

n its 2 damn bad dis shits considered a crime.

heartbeats

heartbeats. pulsating to and through the surface of the skin. throbbing. bouncing like switches. its got me moving like i have never dreamed. up n down. over flowing. streams of thoughts of you bubbling to a boil. i think im going to pop as my viens are ready to explode. it doesnt get any more loyal. come a little closer. feel how it beats. touch its flow. watch how it creeps. come ever so near. as it gives a visual display of something that has never been seen. pushing to close the distance between our worlds. yet. slowly generating its way out of control. in a way my blood pump can not hide. pounding in convultions. consuming my movement with a single stare from your eyes. playing a sound quiet enough to whisper your name. yet give so much energy i can not maintain. vibrating with an emotion i thought id never feel. i am unable to keep still. emotions creeping through my viens. as the hair on my body sways wit a swing as if dancing to the music of your voice saying my name. easing my fears. blowing your breath. breezing its way into my ear. carressing with a stroke that pleases my flesh. taking its sweet time to relax my chest. cooling me to the core. helping me calm the nerves as sweat poors.

partners

fallin in luv is tricky. sum r cautios cuz theyve been burnt or let down. sum believe in luv @ 1st sight. sum dont believe @ all. then theres those in da middle dat r willin n sum not @ all willin 2 fall. different mind sets is wat sets us apart. findin who is grown n who still needs time 2 mature. sum think its all emotional. 2 sum its a mind game. n others r willin 2 jus see where it goes. luv. its not easy 2 truely fall. ud havta enjoy sum1 within reasons. get them. accept them. become part of there world as they would urs. n if theres kids? dey will make or break everything u thought u knew bout dis lil word. parents, brothers or any kind of relation 2 either of u. if there is an issue, it will b known. n it can send u down as fast as u found ur cloud. wheres ur mind? r u dat 1 dat believes in a happily ever after? or r u a realist as i? n find dat every1 is different in there own special lil way. r u willin 2 c wat time will tell? cuz luv is not jus 4 any 2 individuals. u gotta click on many different playin feilds. u can luv sum1 dats sees eye 2 eye wit u, n yet, things jus could never work. some believe dat things were jus meant or not meant 2 b. then sum jus dont believe. can u put emotions aside n look luv in da eye n know without a doubt it is jus dat? or would u rather jus jump straight in n find out 1nce again dat u need 2 take ur time. look @ da word relationship 4 what it is. relate-relations-ship meanin home. 2 people tryin 2 co-exsist. cuz they would like 2 b with them for their own reasons. u gotta b friends 1st. gotta have understandin dat every1 has there own path 2 walk. like paintstrokes over lappin 2 create sumtin dat could b breath takin. even if da both of u choose 2 walk it 2gether. 1 still needs dat time 4 demsevle every now n den. cuz they have their life 2 live. uncontrolled by 1 another. like da sun n moon dat both give light in there own way. patients n trust. honesty. all quilities 2 build sumtin worth sharin. partners @ life. people who jus may change for better or worse in time. driftin or bein able 2 continue seein eye 2 eye. cuz we all will b sum1 different 2morrow. so when u think uv found dat 1 person. take a moment c da realism in ur life dat stands b4 u. n take in 2 consideration dat time alone can only tell u if it is real. cuz believe me, it most certainly will.

findin dat 1

would we b ruined by da time we got 2 u n me? b4 i seen u 4 u n u seen me 4 me. if it were 2 take 2 long. if we found ourselves lost, n everyhting was wrong? would there b any hope of u feelin anything 4 me? could we b repairable? find dat friend after losin our way. bein ever so careful. wat r u lookin 4? is it sumwhere within in me? or who i am? wouldnt u like 2 kno how dat song would b sung? wen sumt1 is starin u down, tryin 2 catch ur attention, unable 2 hold his tongue. why over look sumtin dat is jus tryin 2 b? tryin 2 show u sum1 dey cant help but 2 b. where would u wind up if i were 2 walk away right? neva 2 c u again. would u feel my abscence? miss my touch? want my breath back upon ur neck? would u seacrh 4 my presence dat u misplaced by lookin thru me? cuz u seemed not 2 notice wat i was tryin 2 do. lets conversate n c if we could b in any way. possibly replace dat silhouette in our heads, applyin a face aftr all da time weve been waitin. c if we can co-exsist. where do u think id find myself in sum1 elses arms if i couldnt release u from within me. id luv 2 fall. but not dis way. da distance is makin me even more distant. yet da cravin of ur smell is unbearable. just 2 make a few memories of things, times, smiles, heart 2 hearts, dancin in da sunsets along da beach, n findin geataways places we could go 2 jus b alone. fallin leaves upon our feet. sun upon our faces. cold winter chill in our bones as i try 2 warm u as we find home. wat a feelin it b 2 c ur smile rise in da mornin. so where is it ur heart headed all alone? confused n put aside by thoughts of wats needin 2 b done. cuz im stuck in da moment thinkin im mr right now. yet, knowin better. is it me u c b4 u close ur eyes? wat is it ur thinkin, if it is indeed? id jus like 2 kno where i fit in. cuz if tomorrow nevr came n 1 of us were left without da experience. dat b a waste of sumtin worth da difference. wat would dat do 2 u? could u keep it movin? would i remain in ur mind 4 a life time? would u feel me in ur heart? remember all da lil things i was tryin 2 do n did 2 attempt 2 win u over. acceptin u 4 u. could we stand near each other n hav dat desire of jus wantin 2 touch cuz we simply want 2 feel each other. im jus askin a few queastions 2 c where ur minds @. n 2 c wat ur thought proccess is b4 i lose control n do sumtin in time i dont wanna return from. jus so id kno if its me u c. or sum1 like me. sum1 dat would have dat chance in ur world, makin dat difference i longed 2 express. b4 i lay 2 rest tryin 2 find dat 1 sum1 id miss beyond all others if she were 2 walk away. my girl, dat hasnt gotta name of as yet. givin me her best.

if

if strangers were left as strangers would we eva get hurt?
if we were 2 busy 2 luv wat would b lifes worth?
if we had a friend dat 1 friend dat made us feel dat much better knowin.
would u walk away if sum1 didnt want u talkin 2 dem, hiden wats tryin not 2 show.
if we could jus forget n forgive cuz burdens r 2 heavy 2 carry.
only if we as paople could accept dat people hav their own walk n r willin 2 share it.
if da lil things go unnoticed, would u b able 2 keep on pushin on da way u do?
can we b dat bigger person n allow those around us 2 do wat presses dat smile firmly across there face, cuz u kno its true?
if u had da chance 2 b sum1 uv seen urself becumin n only air was in ur way.
if we had a day 2 enjoy wit sum1 by our side in which u could play, would u play?.
if we us as a whole stopped evry kno n den n enjoyed a simple touch.
do u think we should sieze da moment n jus go 4 da gold, or keep it on hush?
if we found ourselves not knowin wat 2morrow holds n all has went 2 hell.
do u think thred b sum1 there 2 help u up if u fell?
if we was unable 2 tell a good thing dat stood wit a stare b4 us.
if u had a chance 2 b u wit sum1 by ur side dat made u smile, neva in a rush, would u blush?
if those dat came thru our lives really did hav good intentions.
wat would u think of dem if dey told u how dey felt bout u, deep within there emotions.
if we could c individuals 4 whom dey r without catagorizin all da time.
if a lil time was spent n u found urself wantin more, would it b wise 2 find a piece of mind?
wat if we let our guard down n allowed sum1 2 touch sumtin we r affraid 2 let dem feel?
cuz i believe we all need sumtin every 1nce a while 2 show our hearts, its ok 2 b held so real.
if sum1 u knew had there eye on u, n u knew, wat would u do?
wat bout if dey showed there curiousity, n was bout wat dey spoke 2 u.
if sumtin out da blue came strollin by n was da best thing uv eva known.
would we grab hold, @ least 4 a lil while, or let it walk away, neva knowin wat truely laid in their minds zone, if?
cuz ud probably wouldnt eva kno, till uv left urself all alone lookin @ da phone woundrin wat if?
talkin 2 ur hand as if ur fingures could speek back, sayin if ud jus listen evry 1nce in a while n stop bein so stiff.

turn around

u got dat look, dat look dat makes me wanna eat u alive. jus 2 taste u, taste wat u hide inside. as ur smell lingers as i follow, followin n a chasin it til i can get next 2 u steppin in2 ur world. findin how i can play, play wit ur smooth well rounded curves. turn around n look my my way, my way dats headed in ur dirrection. hopin 2 slide in2 ur space, ur space where i can show sum affection. im jus tryin 2 squeeze in2 ur life da best way i kno how, cuz i know how 2 figure u out, wit a lil time 2 show u my life, a life dat ur not in yet as of now.

cum find me

cum find me--not jus physically--where am i mentally?
isnt dat wat u wanna kno?--do i hav a heart or even a soul?--remove my mask n c wat u wanna kno--free ur mind n allow it 2 grow.
try me jus 1nce--b4 u turn n bounce--c if u can withstand jus an ounce.
id let u in 4 a few--cum get sum n c if we could make do of things id luv 2 do.
im willin 2 take our turns--lets play n c how we could hav a lil fun--n learn.
wow o wow--id luv 4 u 2 b here wit me now--wit r feet firmly on da ground.
lets meet 4 lunch--n talk bout a whole whole bunch--cuz i got dis hunch--of u n i n such.
findin me findin u--like im willin 2 prove--doin u--wit dem oohhhs.
y cant we b grown?--get sum help wit sum tlc till da early morn.
find a friend livin in a different household--wit a possibility of joinin forces b4 we get old.
can u c me in a different light?--jus wantin 2 treat u right wen ur in my sights wen im sleepin alone @ night.
its cool n all--but every now n then, here n there, we're human after all.
lets show sum time n attempt unthaw--find our flaws--n try 2 stay strong.
its ok 2 feel dis way--i feel it d*mn near everyday--n im still able 2 smile day 2 day in ways in which i im okay.
u might find wat ur lookin 4 sumwhere witin me--c if u can feel me--doin me--bein me--lookin ur way gigglin.
dis is no pretend--i stand alone n want u as a friend b4 dis thing called life ends--cuz im jus a man simply wantin 2 live.
find me n put urself on da line of loss--im not askin u 2 cross--jus dont look me past nc if it could last.
i am a good thing waitin 2 happen--but im livin alone in my own pad--spendin sum time wit a lil lady 2 c wat we could hav.
every1 needs sum1 in different senerios--n im flyin solo--takin a lil lady 2 a dinner we can go.
hell, we can go 2 da gun range--anything--pass a lil time n do our thang.
jus live n let live--u dont havta b missed--its ur life wit a lil twist dat im tryin 2 squeeze in.
jus gotta dig deep nuff 2 find u--who r u?--wat do u wanna do?--2 help ur time keep rollin so smooth.
cum find me--ill rub u down jus bein me--helpin thee--relax n dream.
lookin in ur dirrection--as i cant help ur imperfections--did i foget 2 mention--u got my attention?

dream

we should neva stop dreamin, yet force our creative minds. its how we've made it so far, bringin in2 light of wat we found inside. thoughts, dat once upon a time were unheard of, now surround us daily. growin as da smartest thing eva 2 exsist, human is the name of our species. brilliant minds thru times of narrow mindedness, pushed da issues as we need 2 do. bonderies of da unknown, so we can enjoy da simplest things like toilet tissue. uncaged minds 2 allow a new train of thought proccess, eliminatin tunnel vision all 2gethr. courageous in there time, bcumin hystoric beings without knowin theyd b 4evr. so y not tempt da mind 2 eximine all da possiblities of wat it can find. our ideas dat beyond da minds eye, jus may simply bring a smile eva so kind. dare 2 dream a lil dream, 4 it is our own right 2 choose n make dat difference. n allow our minds 2 catch all da things we jus may find in our short exsistance. as if we were still a small child wit da world 2 explore in da palm of ur hands. dreaming on da edge of wat has neva been possible, cuz its neva been seen thru da eyes of wat we cosider man. we jus may save a single individual life b4 it parishes, 4evr lost in time. if theres anything 2 believe, believe our minds r beyond da skies limitations, living 2 imagine da creativity 2 help mankinds unique situation.

my mind

evn if i were locked in a cage, wit concrete walls n steel bars, dis world could still not steal my mind, it would only help build da rage. bringin a new kinda hate dat could fill my heart, wit a new arsenol of word play cocked n ready 2 play, literally destroyin everything iv known, forced 2 take part, n a language of horror would spill from a place iv turned on long ago, as id reamerge as sumtin i neva wanted 2 bcum, tryin avoid were i was bound 2 go, n in my time, doin jus dat, id learn a new way of life dat id havta shake if i were 2 b free sumday, a breeded monster like those crammed in round me, rubbin elbows 2 prove we r men, men dat only inflict pain, wit no sanity left, no emotion 2 show, for it b thrown away wen id enter dat isolated hell, leavin me stuck in btween my ears where i hide dat thing u do not kno, twistin da imagination 2 please my bordem, institutionalized beyond repairable control, yet my mind will remain mine, as id stand as me, believin in only 1 thing, it all will end, n my mind in which im locked in, will b there wit me in rare form.

watching

silently watching u sway in the summer breeze made for two to walk hand in hand, flirtin carelessly between the space invaded by an emotional outburst of poetic feelings, breath takin, an overwhelmin rush takes control of every ounce of will power and throws me into you, collidin, i feel a hard dose os wall flat acrossed my forehead as i realize i am a victom of a daydream, and im left on the ground staring up, watchin you walk on by, laughin.

i sit silently watching you sway in the summer breeze.

a flow made for two to walk hand in hand.a

s you drift carelessly.

floating between the space invaded by an emotional outburst.

screaming of poetic feelings of class and taste.

i tell myself you're breath taking.

as an overwhelming rush takes control of me.

i lose every ounce of my will power.

throwing myself into you.

colliding.

i feel a hard dose of wall flat acrossed my brow.

as i realize im laying on my back.

for i have become a victom of a daydream.

and i'm left on the ground staring up.

watching you walk on by.

laughing hysterically.

yellow sticky notes

wirtting in red on yellow sticky notes, scattered n pined up throughout my mind like a puzzle disassembled purposely to piece the thought of you back together, so i will remember your every curve. i cant help thinking as im laying and lounging, fighting time on this lonely hammock, just to unwind on just da thought of you in fishnet stockings and candles in which the flames are lightly flickering the dimness that is bouncing off the rose petals tossed on the bed, pulling an overwhelming joy upon your face, that gazes in your eyes, a little piece of happiness that your unable to hide. and i notice that your short of breath, and at a loss of words, laying down to stretch out in the lovethat is filling the room, you begin staring up, rolling around in the breezy midnight air, your making me feel faint, wanting to fall into you, so deep in, so far from returning, i just want to get to the bottom of all this flirting, and dreaming in the middle of the day, wondering why we've never found the time to try and slide like silk acrossed each others fingertips, slowly gliding swiftly and steadily around the moment in which we twist together in a touch and feel statement that becomes more than a night of passion shared by lovers in the act of showing an overwhelming feeling of surrender to the revealing facts of love thrusting from the hips. tasting one another lips. knowing we're about to take a trip into a night we will neve soon return.

The Stare

Shape shifting images, confusing the reality in my mind. Leaving me with a dead careless stare. Forcing me to fire off long blank observations of nothing before me. I am left with an empty dumb founded face. Emotionslees expressions froze as if paused by time. Breaking down the will power to crack a smile. I do not understand and I can not comprehend what the hell is going on. As my mouth is hung open, slobbering. Fixated on what may happen if I were to look away. But there is nothing to examine in the distance, let alone the obvious space before me that i believe is left to watch me seek out patterns in the wind. Like I just flew the cookoos nest. And yet I still search without visions as smoke crashes into my eyes. Burning my pupals down to the iris' as my retnas collapse along with my eyelids, forcing me back into the real world. Ouch! WTF? And at tis time I remember, I am so fucking high...........Don't do drugs.

canvas

da rush of da touch till theres no nakedness left. da feel of my life scratchin accrossed da flesh. my stories bein told thru da grit of my teeth, pushin out da pain as im stained 2 remember wat lies beneath. over taken 4 da need 2 please my past from its knees. i tweak @ da sweet spots dat wont let me breath. wit every wind of da gun, fresh ink has begun 2 lay upon my face. an expression in which it thinks its won, leavin not a single empty space. n wit da finest pricklin poke of da needle rippin out my past. it splatters in2 shapes n phrases dat shift b4 my eyes, turnin my skin in2 a canvas wit a story 2 tell @ last. so let da foot stomp hard n give me da talent u posses, till da nakedness of my skin has been covered in all my selfish interests. so da corener will laugh his azz off @ da road on which iv been, for it b da only thing left of a man within. ahh, i luv a fresh tat.

play a lil game

lets play a lil game, say each others name n meat back here @ da end of da day.

lets c if weve changed, c if we went astray, or figured out were goin da same way.

pretend wit me if u will, put aside ur troubles n ur bills, den put a smile upon ur grill.

think bout da possibles of bcomin 1s thrill, 1s fortune on da hill like jack n jill.

dare 2 push da issue dat stands b4 u, crave da touch ur skin seeks 2 endure b4 1 can do nothin wit u.

let go, b sum1 else 4 awhile, b u dats dyin 2 live n tryin so desperatley 2 smile.

walk da extra mile 2 find paradise unda da clouds dat hides ur now.

thru anothers eyes, reflect on da thought of sum tender help n find urself in sum1 esle.

leys get 2 da point stretched accrossed our faces, feel its warm embrace n keep it safe.

play a lil game wit me n try 2 enjoy a lil time wit out da confushion, light a candle n bring life 2 our empty substitutions.

attempt to pamper urself, cuz u kno u wanna, allow me 2 spoil u like no1 else is gonna.

its jus a lil game 2 tame da day, so watta u say, u wanna play?

lil ol letters

words crammed in2 itty bitty short phrases. lil ol monster letters r so amazin. bunched 2gethr im settin dem free. formin things 1 can not speak. rearrangin da arrangment of da alphabet scattered like scribbles. lil lines n dots, showin a story of 1s life as da ink trickles. put 2gethr in an alignment jus right. 1 can feel da fight. take 1 away n it changes evrything in sight. adjustin a view point wit da simpest of curves plucked from da brain. expressin da loss or da gain. 26 letters twisted in a slang. a twitch wit a twang, a crutch 2 stay sain. helpin 2 release da expression layed upon my face. sentences stretched n losin da race. a firm unit of emotional outbursts from da a 2 da z. back round n in btween. da tongue can almost taste da sequence of sweetness gathered in an appearance of improper grammer. configurin shapes, fittin like puzzle pieces. squeezed n molded till dey reappear as 1 coordinated sculpture, wit structure makin perfect sence. adjustin 2 fit da feelins unspoken 2 da ear. lil ol letters lettin loose as dey unfold behind da wheel. changin gears wantin 2 b heard. as free as their words. shape shiftin in my mind. hearin a lonely mans battle cry. allowin it 2 flow as it rolls so smoothly from my core. breakin restraints, regainin control. surrendrin 2 da effectiveness layed down written 4 a chance 2 grow. lil ol squiggly letters r leavin me want more.

rewind

tryin 2 play it back, da damn rewind buttons broke. no warranty. f*ck*n remote, imma choke it. i wanna watch it again. wanna c da point where it turned. skipin scenes, fast lessons learned?damn thing wasnt cheap. i worked hard 2 enjoy it. jus gave out. batteries were damn near new. shouldnt b drained yet? now wat am i 2 do? screwed. gotta get up n figure it out. n i dont kno how? its hard 2 smile. confushion is blurin my thoughts as i can not think. dis may b a while. gotta check out da connections. i didnt expect dis sh!t. did it jus cum unplugged? power button doesnt work. is it rechargable? dis is all of da sudden. wat 2 do? can it b fixed? do i need a new model? am i dreamin? if so, i need 2 b pinched. dis is sum bullsh!t! its kickin my azz n its showin.

grown folk thangs

lets get grown n do grown folk thangs, talk in grown folk tongue, roll round like we grown n grown folk touch, u kno, get all grown up, grown folk n such, n b grown folk all night, listen 2 da sounds of grown folk twang from our grown folk lips, grown folk thangs, kissin n rubbin intertwined, feelin n tastin da grown folk falvorin tang like grown folks do, get lost 4 hrs n play grown folk games, from da bed 2 da flo, grown folk chasin n wrestlin, u cant get away from dis grown folk THANGALANG, loosin da covrs in an act of bein full grown, b wit me n i'll giv u a grown folk name, imma grown man wantin n willin 2 please a grown woman, we can do wateva u think grown folks do, as long as its grown, n its me n u.......grown folks.......bein all grown up, growin groanin n gropin, doin it da grown folks way, be grown. doin grown folk sh!t, wit a grown folk swang, makin grown folk music n grown folk lose it.

sinlge dad syndrome

single dad sydrome, im findin famales r weird. its cool 2 b freinds, till ur single. den dey wanna sink their teeth n nails in2 u. wtf? imma guy but damn. i dont want da games. if i decide 2 fill my world, dats on me. i kno wat i want. n im goin 4 it. so jus relax n let it b. females always talkin bout bout how dey dont wanna b treated a certain way. yet now da shoe fits me. looky looky. a man dat takes on his. witiut Q? n now im da entree. i undastand its a turn on, n yet i dont feed in2 it. its cool. flatterin n all. but dats not y i do wat i do n how i do it. i stand up like so many others. dont mind layin it down. i got eyes 4 jus 1, n right now im single. waitin on time 2 tell me which way 2 go. 4 da 1st time eva. a single dad catchin stares jus cuz im more of wat is considered 2 b more den a man dat females r use to. dats not my fault dey dont take da time 2 c a man 4 wat he is, or da hes a looser. windin up wit dis image of sum1 dat resembles me in a silhouette dat doesnt hav a face. im jus goin @ my pace. so y cant freinds b freinds 4 a lil while spent. y want so much so fast. turnin me off cuz dey cant put aside emotion n hormones 2 find sum1 dats jus trytin 2 find dem, n who dey r. cuz we as "real men" hav been there 2. cautious as u. gots me turnin da page b4 its finished. females always lookin 4 a good man. damn. relationships. i got other sh!t goin on. kids. always wantin 2 lock sum1 down. get ova it. im not ready 4 dat commitment .jus tryin 2 do me 4 a short time spent 2 make da best call i can 2 keep me smilin. giv me sum time. im not tyrin 2 kill ur will, but ease up. im sufferin from single dad syndrome. i hold my own indeed. dont mean im ready 2 jump back in2 da sos. wit nothin in common but wats in btween da sheets. imma horny mo fo 2 but i realize im good wit my situation 4 a lil while. n time will giv dat opertunity not 2 jus me but 2 whomeva it may b dat grabs hold cuz dey get me as i do dey. its wat is is n wat is made of it. if dats u? its my life dat bcame ours. stop tryin 2 jump da gun. n i kno mines out there da way urs is. n wen da time cums, imma givr evrthing i got. till den, its a wrap. cuz u females b flippin dat coin, tryin 2 join forces. playin ur own selfish games. n i dont want da drama let alone play. yet i understand y single moms r single. stuck in a single mom reallity of jus wantin 2 b held. sum1 2 help wit da bills n spend sum time. but u need 2 look in2 da mirror. i cant let jus any1 near my kids. shes gotta b jus a lil bit more as i would havta b 4 hers. so get real n realize im not da typical man ur use 2. imma dad first, partner 2nd, n a luvr dat wont quit dats sufferin from sinlge dad syndrome cuz u cant grow up n c wat u jus had b4 u. its not easy 4 us eithr. n yes, i do want 2 b luvd. but not jus by any1. i want a real, down 2 earth woman who can giv sum serious time n affection sumday. as we finish dis thing 2gethr hand in hand.

4 seconds

iv been called a freak, a nympho, a ho, a man.im a lil larger den u can handle or withstand.

sum call me by name, which will u use taday?

omg, mm hmm, ahh huh, awe awe awe, yes yes yes, ur da best?

nah im jus playin, unless ur willin 2 try n hop up on dis ride n stroke ur stride.

8 seconds, yup, if u make it dat long b4 u want back off, make it dat long n we can talk.

cuz i gotta family secret im will 2 show, blieve me ull wat jus a bit mo.

nah, im jus talkin sh!t, seein if i can turn u on, unless u want sum d................

den its on.

so let me hear ur sounds, 4 seconds, i had 2 lower it, lol.

any takers?

wen is nuff, nuff?

wat has da world cum 2 wen sex has cum 2 b evrything but 2nd nature 2 a nympho? is sh!t dat f*ck*d up in his world like hes bein forced 2 let go?

wit 2 much bcumin more stress den he can handle 4 1 man 2 carry in da middle of da nights. 2nd guessin da path hes traveled cuz its lead him 2 life dats burryin him alive. chest constantly emplodin so no1 can c wat his hearts goin thru day 2 day. needin a friend 2 talk 2 4 a conversation could b key 2 relax his brain. takin away all da thoughts dat jus may b goin 2 an imaginary hell b4 their time is up. wens it gonna stop? wen is nuff, nuff? n y does dis road seem like an endless sentence is losin its fun? y does it seem i dont feel anything half da time wen i am filled wit so much life? mayb a simple touch could make da soundless nights fade b4 da mornin cuts thru da blinds like a knife. wheres da eyes i seek n does my situation evn mattr as it appears bhind da mirrors in a mind dat isnt mine? on my way is wat i keep sayin evrtime i feel dis way, n i cant seem 2 hold it 2gethr da longer da days grind. i dont think any1 undastands bcuz i dont let em in, its saffer dat way. i need not bother em wit my childish like wines dat only i can hear as i sit on da edge of my stay n wonder, wat else is there 2 say?

r.e.a.l.

r.e.a.l.

wat is it?

r u real?

wats in da word real?

can u b real?

really?

r.e.a.l.

people who tell it like it is.

r.e.a.l.

people who can b themsleves.

r.e.a.l.

idividuals who wont lie 4 their own gain.

r.e.a.l.

real people, doin real sh!t.

r u real?

wens da last time u thought u were rreal?

really, think?

were u real?

can da freinds u carry count on u 2 keep it real?

r.e.a.l.

cuz dats wat i need.

sumtin real.

real conversation.

real talk.

real emotion.

cuz if ur not real.

wat r u?

except a real jackazz?

r.e.a.l.

2 da core.

r.e.a.l.

neva 2 facin any1.

r.e.a.l.

if sum1 asks u wat u said, would u say it again?

cuz dats real.

n dats wat i am.

r.e.a.l.

a real good man

a real good dad.

a real good luvr.

a real good friend.

u can trust sum1 who is real.

dey dont play games.

dey wont turn there back.

always shootin it straight.

r.e.a.l.

real people can break u down.

make u realize, how real r u?

u should really think bout dis 4 lettr word.

r.e.a.l.

theres only a hand full of us out here.

tryin 2 find us is a real task.

real people.

tellin u wat u need 2 hear.

real people.

wit real lives.

not fakin da funk.

r.e.a.l.

ru?

or r u wat?

r u 4 real?

can u look @ urself in da mirror?

do u like wat u c?

think real hard.

cuz bein real is no part time j.o.b.

bein real is who u r.

wat u stand 4.

bein real is not a game.

unless ur givin it 2 sum1 less den real.

den its sum funny sh!t.

u eva felt like sum1 was testin u?

howd u do?

did u keep it real?

or break unda pressure?

r.e.a.l.

think, learn n observe.

cuz real mutha f*ck*s will let u kno jus how far u can go wit dat fake azzbullsh!t.

b real!

human

im only human, i only want da best 4 me as i face my fears.

tryin 2 b sum1 i can stand, facin thee in da mirror.

slowly pacin self, controlled as i find my way.

neva dodgin wats fallin off da shelf, livin 4 2day.

standin in frame, as a man in focus.

tryin 2 stay sane, away from all da hocus pocus.

human, nothin more den flesh n bone.

groovin 2 my own beat, my own lil tone.

steppin wit a rythm dat moves my feet, in front of me.

unwillin 2 accept defeat, or surrender my dreams.

there r millions sumwat simular, walkin wit their shadows beneath dem.

i find were all simular, all tryin 2 find wat makes us grin.

atheist

comprehension? realism? true? not everyone can catch on to the facts life put before them. unless you understand or comprehend sitautions for what they are, you'll never see the realness in comprehending the understanding of the facts of life. it's all in one as their all the same. one can never be as true as they can seem to think they are without these three words that help explain the confusion of what so many are goin through. i found these words turning inward towards self because i did not know myself. finding i did not like myself. the more i thought about different senerios the more i found i was an athiest in mind. then my heart followed. " a life lover". something i can understand. something i comprehend. something that is true in every syllable. a-the-ist. as i found me as i was looking deep inside of me. i discovered this symbol and found i was an american atheist. i have grown a love for this new life and i can not seem to try explain it enough no matter how hard i try. to sum it up, i simply love living. i enjoy my life and my chance to just become old in my time of dying. being me!

cuz

i neva wanted 2 hurt no 1, neva thought i could.

i neva imagined i could do it 4 sum1 like dat, m i a fool.

i neva been missed, n turned a shoulder.

i neva promised so much, n neva came thru.
i neva seen dis comin, wat do i do.

cuz iv neva walked dis path dis true.

where im goin is a mystery, unknown 2 man?
where i'll wind up, is where i'll stand?

where in da hell will dat b?

where will i wind up on my knees?

where form here can i find my way?

cuz where i am is livin 2day.

why is dis so hard 2 do?

why do i havta choose?

why cant i jus believe in wat is real?

why think of it wen it hurts 2 feel?

why am i so alone 2night?

cuz why is a ? i wanna bring in2 light.

who is it dat will complete me?

who will do dat thing 2 sumwat save me?

who can bcum sum1 so special?

who thinks dey can attempt 2 mention?

who will b da 1 2 show me sumtin as i let dem in?

cuz whom evr it b, im not like othr men.

im jus tryin 2 do me @ da end of da day.

im jus thinkin if it'll all b ok?

im jus wondrin how i got here?

im jus tryin 2 change these stripped out gears.

im jus doin da best i can 2 find my smile.

cuz im jus a man walkin an impossible mile.

u c theres an ache witin me.

u c im tryin not 2 gasp as i breath.

u c iv been findin me boken n lost.

u c im tastin sumtin othr den bland sauce.

u c i always wanted a new flava 2 savor.

cuz u c wat u wanna c in ur own manor.

possibiliy of 14-10

if i lent u my heart, wat condition would it b in wen n if i eva got u back aftr da romance?

cuz id havta lend it 2 u, id eventually want it back 2 feel wat it has experienced.

do u think u could take it easy on dis grown man addin a gently womans touch 2 my world?

cuz im tryin 2 decide if i could bare my entermost feelings 2 u dis time round.

n im ready, yet if it were not 2 work out, ud b da 1 wo could probably make my heart poud.

do u think it b anyway possible u could c me in a way dat could last as long as possible.

could u c me tryin everything possible 2 show n proove 2 u i could uv u, cuz ur irresistable.

id like 2 kno, my heart is so wantin 2 feel ur silkish carress explore its ways n worths.

i could promise only 1 thing, id try like hell as long as i could b me, n i cant help but 2 flirt.

jus da thought of a chance 2 hold ur hand brings me in2 a new way of thinkin.

n i kno if it werent meant 2 b, da pain would b sumtin so extreme, but worth evry pssibility givin.

so if u could jus answer dis simple lil Q? 2 help my mind appretiate ur presents.

a Q? dats been eva so long waitin 2 slip from my exsistance, findin its way of knowin thru a response.

is there any possibility of u findin da time 2 look my way n c wat it is im sayin 2 u?

is there any possibility of u findin room 4 me sumwhere in ur day doin wat u do?

i cant giv u da moon, im real so id can only giv u me n c if dat would b nuff 2 experince 2gethr?.

yes its as true as it sounds, im tryin 2 find out more bout ur thought proccess n how u feel on a regular.

how can i make it so wen i crossed ur mind, id b sum1 u could find sumtin in me ud want 2 try?

cuz im thinkin bout possibly handin ovr true intentions 2 c if it b possible 2 enjoy dis ride.

id luv 2 do 4 u da things dats been builin up wit in me b4 i die.

think long nuff 2 giv an honest answer, n seach 4 sum room witin cuz i believ iv found my woman 2 stand by my side.

man

i got dis vision in my head of wat a man is suppose 2 b, how hes suppose 2 act. why it is da way he carries himself, da way he should. tell me if im wrong?

supportive no matter wat-lovin-emotionally connected not only wit himself-forgivin-trustin- trustworthy-a friend 2 all times-real-AFFECTIONATE towards da 1 whom allows him 2 shares his days-understandin-AM I GETTIN CLOSE?

level headed-desirable-PATIENT-playful-peaceful-cool-sensitive witout bein girly-a good perent even wen all else seems hopeless-enjoyably pleasant 2 b around-motivated- hard worker- wit a backbone dat bends but neva breaks-IS DIS ANYWHERE NEAR CLOSE?

gentle-cuddly in da middle of da night dat gives his 1 da security of luv-humorous-outgoing-strong minded-is HIMSELF @ all times-willin 2 b wrong-sexually satisfyin-able 2 put emotions aside 2 c sum1 dat stands b4 him 4 who n wat dey r-HOW CLOSE AM I?

flatterin 2 a womans smile-good natured-willin 2 take da time 2 put in 4 da long hall-clean bout himself-adventurous-protective-has a clue of wat life is really about-puts family 1st-kind-a GENTLEMAN-IS THIS CLOSER THAN UV HEARD?

sympathetic-strong willed-creative-PASSIONATE-romantic-a sucker 4 a lil lady witout gettin sh!t bent-uses his head on his shoulders-realizes he doesnt hav 2 hav control-allows people 2 b demselves-knows wat it means 2 live-wants 2 make sum1 else happy all in while findin his own enjoyment witin dem-I JUS CANT GET CLOSE NUFF CAN I?

tasteful-handy-old fashioned in ways-alert-stands 4 those who r in his life-unaffraid of change cuz everythings subject 2 change-brave witin reason of protectin his-easy goin-kid @ heart-devoted-FAITHFUL-appreciative 4 wat hes earned or 4 whom he holds so close-respectful-gives space cuz evry1 needs sum @ sum point-HOW CLOSE DO I NEED 2 GET?

mentally stable-sane-finds himself witin himself 2 b better 4 another-an excellant luvr-HONEST-literally able 2 express himself-doesnt shy away from his softer side wit whom he spends his time-can get 2 da point-CLOSE?

DOES DIS GET TO DA POINT? OR DO U NEED MORE?

findin da pieces

id luv 2 find out if u could fit round my heart,
touch n cling 2 it so it neva fall apart.
repair da pieces dat r hamgin on by a thread,
replacin da others dat r lost or dead.
easin ur way inside where pain is not allowed,
whisrein ur name eva so loud.
id luv 2 c if u could fill it up,
giv it a chance of wat sum call luv.
id bare myself if i could find u there,
stickin 2 me like u really care.
id luv 2 feel ur touch deep in2 da night,

findin u holdin me unda da moon light.

where it makes da most difference in da way we cuddle,
so close 2gethr like we were in da most romantic riddle.

b wit me

ease back n kick up ur feet.

tell me wat u need.

u dont havta say please.

wat do i havta do 2 keep u lookin @ me?

how can i strech ur smile?

b worth a while?

humor u n keep my style?

can i draw u a bath 4 us 2 lay?

spend a moment in luv in da middle of da day.

can we jus feel each othr?

close nuff 2 want 1 anothr.

b wit me 4 jus a few.

talk n do wat we do.

cuz no1 could giv me wat u can.

u release me as i am ur biggest fan.

luv

whos hasnt been hurt? no1 eva wants 2 go down da road again sum day?
who hasnt been on both sides of da fence, teeterin, but its ok.
cuz wit out da pain 2 help 1 learn bout da situations dat 1s faces, as there heart @ sum point has touched da floor.
experiences dat arise, dat educates wat 1 should look out 4.
luv is sumtin 1 will neva find, misplaced in da mind, lost in da heart, luv isnt suppose 2 hurt,
who doesnt like da feelin of bein on sum1s mind, knowin dey can feel sumtin.
shows their alive n livin, willin 2 experience u as u do them.
u jus gotta practice everything u preach, try, n hopfully sum1 will c u 4 u.
catchin dat eye, 4 luv is btween 2, n wen u find it, wat will u do?
enjoy ur story as life is passin u by, take dat long look round n c if ur on sum1s mind.
pay close attention, dey may hav good intentions n b sumtin u thought ud neva find.
proceed wit caution 4 it is a must. but kno if u dont giv a fair chance 2 sum1, dey could wind up luvin sum1 else.
n where will dat leave u, but missin out again, n yet it isnt selfesh 4 u 2 maintain self.
think bout it, n think bout sum1 walkin da same path uv started.
n think bout how dat would make u feel, expressin urself, layin in sum1 elses heart.
u jus may b sum1s heartache if u were walk 2 away.
but how would u kno if u dont show a certian interest in da way dey sway as dey look ur way?

ova looked

i jus want dat 1 thing my mind can not release.
n i feel i'm bein ova looked n teased.
it's not think it's a single individual at all.
yet a thing within them that won't let the other fall.
there in every way in all the right ways.
as a partner should be unconditionally everyday.
its a mind set between two lovers becomin more.
a knoowin of luv n how it's believe it'll never walk out the door.
so yeah, i fel ova looked n it don't feel good.
jus wanna find that one n find out if she could.

orgasm

im sittin here thinkin, i havnt touched myself in days.
waitin 4 a lil lady 2 come round my way n play.
her g spot been on my mind alot here lately.
im hopin 2 c her freaky side do sumtin, hopin she wont hate me.
im wantin 2 taste her sumtin bad nuff 2 die 4.
off da bed ova da night stand in2 da corner down on da floor.
imma givr sumtin 2 remember my name so she jus cant quit.
as kinky as she can handle it, leavin her feel my meat, cuz its ready n thick.
hard, standin n waitin 2 zoro her clothes off her pretty lil frame.
dis damn girl is drivin me sexually insane on how she so well maintained.
playin her game of miss innoscent till proovin guilty.
or mayb shes nevr experienced sum1 quite like da freak in me.
cuz id do wat eva shed allow me 2 do jus 2 get her off.
den giver sum more till im literally completely soft.
i dont care how long it takes 4 her core 2 explode.
gushin out, up my arm as she cant take no mo.
i could tongue please her, or jus flat out servin it up.
eithr way i want her in my bad, n i dont giva a fuck.
she can get n be wat shes been so affraid 2 express.
i wont say nothin, n do it till she aint got nothin left.
eneergy spent, drippin in sweat as her juices dry up.
nasty shit, imma bring it out n i hope she likes 2 scream n shout.
cuz da sounds i believe she can make, ohhh we!
gots me willin 2 go down on my knees.
talk is cheap, n i like it in her.
she can tell me all da things as im so deep within her.
dat opens up her main n allows me plat my game.
i jus want her naked, in witin reach, so i can tame dat damn thang.
release ur hormones upon my presents n i can gaurantee ull luv da experience.
cuz i am not shy in 1 itty bitty way, orgasm girl, free urself wit my influence.

wow!

back @ it wit my horns on. losin control, cravin how u look in a thong.
tryin 2 ease back wen all i wanna do is brush up on u, n show u wat i can do 4 u.
im tryin 2 focus on wat ur sayin, but wen ur lips move, i cant help but 2 think of wat we could b doin if we were jus a layin.
its hard not 2 think bout me helpin u remember my name, it an exchange of a pretzel like game.
i guesse im jus a guy who wants 2 do sumtin o so pleasin, startin wit a kiss, windin up teasin.
till uv had nuff of playin round, takin all but wat cant fit, makin sum ear pleasin sounds.
but id jus like 2 kno, if ud dont mind telllin, how could sum1 like me hav my way wit sum1 like u? fast or evn nice n slow.
cuz my mouth waters wen u stroll throu my mind, stopin long nuff 2 show me how u grind.
n all i can say is, wow!

tastin my mind

tongue tatsin my minds thoughts, tongue curled up da back on my throat, lickin my brain, tryin 2 get in.
attemptin its chance @ da magic goin on inside like age old sin.
1 taste i hear it say, but i kno it wont stop @ dat, i kno cuz i taught it everything it knows, n it jus wants dat cat unda my hat.
from da slow stroke, long slide, flattened slurp, 2 da gentle ticklin of its endless tip, hell no, my mind couldnt handle it, yet it wouldnt mind lettin it in.
siliva buildin on da dreams i posses deep in da middle of da night, but dats expected, i think my hormones get ova stimulated as iv awakened so errect.
thinkin, wat was my tongue doin 2 my mind while i was asleep, cuz i feel dis easin pleasure screamin inside like my pants r about 2 explode on visions id luv 2 explore, its possible my mind has been molested in dream world by a skill i helped create, leavin me feelin so cheep.
brian massaged, caressed deep in2 da night, i feel so violated n i gotta say i liked i! yet i dont taste da left ovas from da desired invisable slit wen i awake.
leavin me needin 2 release my army dats soul purpose is 2 escape as 1, cuz my tongue has done gone n woke up da 1 thing in which makes everthing so much fun.