Dream girl...

You're beautiful. But you'll never hear me tell you how deeply I'm attracted to you. N that's the saddest thing I've ever come to know. Oh how the heart fears the let down on the move When it comes to you. When it comes to you. Yeah, it's yet to happen bcuz you have no idea I have a thing for you. Who am I to interrupt your singlism at it's finest. No it's not a word but fuck me over you. I'm a bit too much n I'd hate to not be me. So I sit back n wait on the day another fella woos you. Someone a little more into giving you your way. All bcuz I to matter n have a reason to mingle with you. But I can't step up n speak n I dunno why. I'm trying to understand this whole thing about you. N how I just wanna reach for a response. To become that one person to you. N yet here I am letting the feeling go to waste. N damn me if I can't stop thinking about you. As even my dreams come to life even you're in them. Awakening me in a different world where I can't keep me from you. You're breathtaking to someone like me. Lost in this place where there's no I in you. Maybe if you knew than possibly the thoughts could find a way. I'm just scared to to lose the issue of you. N we haven't even began to start. Mainly bcuz your silhouette has no face n it's not your vanity I set in you...

Behind closed n locked doors...

Wait! It'll be worth it. Or it'll just sound good in your head until it's too late. With a lingering feel of it's all bs. Sitting around staring at materials that cannot interact. But at least you'll be established if they ever come along. Big facts. Either way life goes can you go wrong? It'll be peaceful ASF truly finding self. Rounding out to be someone to reckon with. Knowing in life you don't need help. But the gesture in time will be fulfilling to actually live. As long lonely nights when there's nothing to do creep on up. Depending on the patience to be in the moment in which you are. One day, one night, n repeated while holding out for likes to cling to luv. Telling emotion to settle down in the contents of the heart. As single as the mind can withstand a friend to appear. Losing the restraints to be as is n nothing less. Distant from hands wanting to touch the thrill of the vibe ever so clear. Never to look into eyes until that one can't resist the depths reaching for rescuing from the chest. That is if the comfort of the solitude doesn't get you first. Capturing the best of you behind closed n locked doors. With not one person ever to see the real truth of muted worths. As the linger soothes the beast from ever wanting anything more. But, wait! It'll be worth it. Or it'll damn you too the voices that have no sound that mimics a mate. Drifting in a world where the smile doesn't match the efforts of the ribs. Missing the chuckles that create a difference in the middle of life. But if the rush moves to fast then it's back to square one. Starting all over again for the last time. So it's fuck feeling numb. Stages of the outcome change self a little too much. As not just anyone gets to come inside. Trust, exploring lusts, laying flush, n ooh the gush. Asking does every level exist in a package on display for the mind? Opened to the known. Free but earned. With a sense of humor but fully grown. Waiting on a turn. In the cycle of getting lost somewhere in the elsewhere of, huh? Trying not to die before the best of what's remains isn't considered what's left. Having a new feel daily to regain the fun. To wait on another who simply says, yes!

If the choice was yours...

And what if it was you and I alone in a room. With nothing but life between the two of us wanting to live. Would you fight me off the way I would you? If the moment just happened to present a chance to come from within the minds wits. As we stare in silence for the wonder to speak. If there was a you and a me behind closed doors. Hearing heartbeats as breaths tell on the way we breathe. Or if there's a possibility that we'd give in to wanting more? And let's say we found ourselves together with no one else around. What do you believe you'd do if the choice was there? Standing before you as you in front of me. Bcuz my curiosity would be looking for a certain gaze in the eyes of playing fair. On this side of daydreams where neither of us can leave. With the locks that haven't a key to open to the escape. Who would I be to someone like you wasting away? In a situation searching for a way out. Having time spent too realize I have a use that's gone untamed. Like you, in the presence of just once, moving without sound. Trust me, I'd refuse you by all means just the same. Ignoring the fact that just maybe you're different as we'd be too proud. In the center of the universe where there should be a lit flame. The chill from cold hearts just may be the end. Before the beginning ever takes place. Bcuz we're unwilling to give up the peace chancing to get close another so called friend. As we'd prolly shy away from remembering each other's face. Tell me I'm wrong and avoid the scenario of you, with me. Somewhere without others lurking about. Able to decide for self if it be okay to set the burden free. To put all the fuckin weight down...

Gropped...

Warm hand. Snug squeeze. Thumbs n fingers applied to the sides of the throat. Watching her eyes roll with a silent please. Deep. His fingers made it past her panty line. Down, oh so far down between her legs he felt her sighs. Doubling up for a feel for to match desires come from within her. Moving in sync with passionate strokes. Slow motions catering to her free will. Moans coming to life as she's gently being groped. With a nibble of the lip she begins to come undone. Hips grinding his fingertips on her clit. She gives into his tender touch. Toying with pulsating nerves throbbing with sensitized ends. Rotating her eyes upwards. Into the back of her heart they go. Oh no, she's falling in his hands. Losing control. She twitches as she cums. Amazed of how he makes his way through her lips. Her body tightens trying to fight a second  pop. She knows he enjoys caressing the slide of how wet she gets. As he whispers, get it, in her ear. Causing her hormones to shake. As he drops to his knees for her to get one off on his face. Creating an explosion that just can't wait. N again with the tongue swirling, she reaching her tippy toes. Damn near climbing the wall with one after another firing off. Until she stiffens up n push his head away from her mind that's just been blown...

Submit...

Gimme that azz. Come on over here n feed my appetite. Mmm, yeah. Bend on over as I bring you to life.

Soft, firm. Your thumper appears to need a friend. Lemme have it. With no limits as you cum again n again.

Bent at the hips, legs straight. Spread em n relax n lock your knees, don't fall. They're gonna get weak before I get done enjoying the taste.

No lie, no threat. Trust me when I say it'll please me more. Dropping down behind you to put in some work. Face buried as I get low down on the floor.

Restrained at the ankles to the bed. Arms pinned n tied behind your back. It's a beautiful look for you. It's you I hate have.

I'm not playing, don't say no. I got you for a few as I shower in your in your fantasies. Get comfy with your lean, arch ya back. I'm about to change your mind about me.

Come feel my tongue twirl n open up. Wider as I find my way past your lips. With hands full, gripping the flesh. Pushing your cheeks aside, getting deeper. Sweet thang it's you imma bless.

Share it with me. I'm all in n dedicated to the cause. My heads crave you. Both of them wanna entertain the caressing to the stretching of your walls.

But I jus wanna eat, for now. To get you off n to hear the way you moan. Bare yourself, waste down naked n felt on. I promise I won't be able to leave you alone.

We should collaborate to feel the flow. Stroked in thrusts. Sound off n try to remain in the position input you in. Oh my, mentally I can't get enough.

So lets see about the physical activity n shut off the lights. To every end of your sensitive nerves I'll go. Once your nice n loose n slipping on n off my shaft. Can you feel it? I insist on rearranging your facial expression until you pop with a oooh, as you can't last.

One, two, three, let's see where it goes. Licky licky, I'm a better when put to use. Just grip the pillow n try not to hold your breath. I'll be listening from the backside of your orgasms escaping your body as you move.

It's on me to turn you on. Unhinging the jaws. Breaking you off. Just do what your suppose to. Rotate your hips to the tongue's skills scuba diving into the way across the bed you wanna crawl.

Come get served. Thoughts deserve to live. Do that ahh, yeah. Right there, for me. Gimme a sip... 

A sensation felt...

The slower the feel the more intrigued the heart will become. Moving with passion flowing from within as the moment whispers of luv. Connecting through a sensation felt deeper than hope. Falling to the touch in the middle of the night as trust roams. Pulsating on the tips fingertips feeling their way around curves wanting to be explored. As the beast eases into a tamed comprehension of wanting more. With lips sliding from a kiss to taste the breath with the mood. Desires motion creating thrusts that work emotions loose. To combine was one with a friend barred to the flesh. Allowing the contents from within to come to the surface of the chest. As a pause slows into a stare to witness truth in the eyes. With bodies wrapped around the one person that fulfills life. For the knowing of likes through movements coexisting for pleasure to breathe. To hear soft gasps in the ear to settle the need. Defining the closest thing to perfection self has ever come to enjoy. Drifting with pieces of sacred devotion deployed. Feeding hormones to the walls as moans are heard. Coming from depths to dance with shadows flickering playfully to a single flame in a peripheral blur. All in the act of making luv for the first time that has a purpose of worth. As the inner makings are joined in a sensation felt without words...

Craving attention...

How many likes will it take to feed your ego? Taking into consideration of the starvation of your pics as you call men thirsty. Does your hypocritical side ignore who your are? Arrogance is an ugly thing as you truly feel men aren't worthy. Adding so many faces just to talk shit like the fucktards won't step outta line. What's your number of actual friends up to so we know your angle put on display. Honestly is the key is what we hear, but is it really? But you don't havta exploit yourself as your vanity is only thing that defines the expressions upon your face...

She came back for her...

As she can finally see her own joy in her eyes. Realizing it was herself that's she's missed for some time. Hands down there's no more battle of confliction in her mind. Fists no longer clinched to the fight. Her smile changes shape with chuckles deserved. That twinkle comes back to life knowing there's no reason to hurt. As sighs released are for once not rehearsed. Able n willing to feel alive she's come full circle back to worth. She finally has the answers coming from within. Becoming her own friend again. Redefining the strength of a familiar grin. She's found peace within. Damn, how she bounced back from nowhere the way she did. In tune with the beautiful individual within with a nibble of the lip. She just didn't need anyone else with her in the room to gather her shit. She's come around to the imperfection of the stranger transformed in the mirror gaining a tender rib. As her laugh is something to listen to. It's pure n pleasant to the sound creating her own mood. She's accepted her truths. Did a little dance in a circle n now this the way she moves. As free as air she's a hoot. Comforted by the pieces of her heart that has realigned. Believing j herself as now she will be just fine. Having a different definition of mine. Bcuz that's who's she is as self defined...

"finally"...

Good days, bad days. And then there's those in between. I can't seem to tell them apart anymore. I'm losing focus in this dream.

Tell me I'm crazy. Anything but lost. Wake me up. My reality is a fictional flaw.

Life is an absent wasteland. My heart is coming undone. I cannot relate to emotion. I just wanna go home.

But there's no such place that I know of. No feeling but the me, myself and I. I've gone and crossed over without memories made. I'm alone in my mind.

I'm back to the basics. As all I can whisper along to music in the dark is, "finally". But I don't know how feel alive. Smiles tremble in fear bcuz I'm a just me.

Hiding passions more than worth the cause. Fighting the drips of tears. Good night's, sleepless depths. What have I become through the years?

I cannot remember how to let someone in. The confusion has condemned me to the silence sighing. But I can hear my heartbeat pulsate like It has so much more to give. I wish I were lying.

I've trapped myself within. As craves are crawling through my chest. Pounding and begging to be released. As I lay the thought to rest.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. There's a mental blockage refusing use even though. My skin is numb. Without nerves to go sensitive with luv.

Fingers aren't felt when applied in a stroke. Nor do fingerprints comprehend the sensation in a caress. I'm damned by all means to a lifetime in chains. Disabled and outta sync is thy will to invest.

Distant to any other attempting to dig in to me. As even sexual thrills are pointless n cheap. Motionless in the inner makings that have been emptied n freed. But I'm back to square one, "finally".

Back to a blank slate where I to can figure out what's to gain. With no weight carried on. I'm who I used to be before I ever stumbled upon hope. Prior to the heart on the sleeve that was worn.

Good times. Bad times. I don't care to think. There's nothing in my head but me resisting the pleasures desired. And honestly, all I wanna fuckin do is breathe...

Wasting away...

So much life going on within. N yet, time ticks as if self has nothing to give. With every night the empty sinks into the heart. Alone is a battle seeking some sorta charm. With unused attempts to be happy. And less than perfect reasons to feel crappy. Being torn between able and refusals creates an aches. It's a stagnant repulsive desire to be left alone. As in the same sense it be nice to share a home. With so much bottled up going to waste. The isolation comforts the safety of the sane. The ones losing their minds behind the walls. Locking the doors so the world can forget as they suck in a pause. Creeping along with passion begging to be freed. So another can feel the build up stunned at thee. To be the difference even they wish to enjoy. Filling depths to concur the void. There's a warmth in the chest defeated by the mind. Protected and yet restricted to live up to the hype. Held in is the makings that could be felt in smiles for years. As the only thing escaping from time to time is a single fucking tear...

Brief talks...

Eased back. Letting their phase evolve. Just trying to be a friend. Something real enough to wait until they're problems are solved. Conversation speaks. Relating to life. Showing who self is. Then they're off to the rush of another making them feel alive. Ignored is the becoming. To be reminded of the gimme gimme mentality. Watching words and actions collide anther hopeful thought forgotten in the middle of reality.  Patience. You witness then gather themselves. Bcuz relations aren't so easy. But it's just another moment where they needed some help. Someone to listen. Brining reason to the pain of choices made. Using been told to heal isn't gonna happen overnight. As they taste the sound of another's name. Like a strong stone. As is trying to be respectful. Wanting to see if they have it in them to round out. As getting back to self first without being resentful. With words that help. A connection comes to be. Defining a stable knowing of each other. N then life they never existed they never make it to be a memory. Sad truths of a mindful man. Aware of others emotions needing to be felt at all costs. Through the lonely stage they talk a lot. Just to dismiss the content of wants and needs they can't be helped. They just wanna be heard. Noticed by someone who gets the facts. And in they're reincarnation they simply cannot wait. Not on someone willing give time a chance. So they too don't covering up old feelings and bs with smiles forced upon the face. It's an attention thing but it's cool. Closing to see someone but refuse to grow as an individual. It's always that fresh sense of cheep thrills that concurs the heart. Turning away from the mental aspect of what it takes to be subliminal...

Places...

Pick a place. Somewhere you'd feel safe. As you enjoy your time. Living in the moment creating life. Choose a destination. So your smile feels the levitation. With chuckles that vibe. And reason has a why. Decide where you'd go. If anywhere moved slow. So you could enjoy the makings of memories. Far from the hating of enemies. Select a whereabouts that defines your interests. Allowing you to accept the differences. Where in this world is it that loosens the bones. I prefer a little place called home. A spot where friends are made. Knowing vacations aren't ever the same. Only if I knew where mine was. Bcuz that's the only place I'd fall in luv. Sharing space with someone like no other. Then plans could expand beyond the walls from becoming luv'rs. To gain what's to be remember here or there. As it ain't no fun without another to breathe in the air. From cost to coast. To seeing the offers of coordinates never spent alone. I'd go with a house prior to daydreams off balanced to say the least. From there the endless possibilities will lead...

Pointless...

Do you ever feel it's all for fuckin nothing? With so much life to live all you are is caught up in financial gains. But with everything there's always something. N without the funds the experience is a game. Trying to move pieces to heavy for a single person to budge. It's a cycle of sacrifice or be broke ASF. N let's not talk about how everyone claims to be the definition of luv. Like wtf? Is there no end other than the bitter calling of the end? Waiting it's turn to finally fuck us all over one by one. All within a society that's designed to capture free will spent. Day in day out like a bunch of nitwits coming undone. As the older we get the less sense it all makes. Struggling to simply live. Going through the rotation of emotions upon the face. Eventually believing there's nothing self can truly give...

Ever changing norm...

Shits n giggles falling down the cheek like rain. It leaks out to humble the mind damn near coming outta it's frame. Fuck each tear sliding with the curve of the face. But am outlet is needed behind closed doors to fell sane. It ain't always about how middle fingers stand upright. Sometimes letting loose of the pressure relieves the fight. Settling the nerve so it to can have a night off. To bare the details changing within that simply feel lost. In such a huge world where outta millions only a few can be counted on. Just to feel the moisture flow n let go of an ever changing norm. With laughs that halt to relieve the heart of the weight applied. Unable to hide truths so self is incapable of lies. N that's when the depths surface to rise to the occasion. Giving one good cry up for the sake of what's known as a sensation. As getting back to life is just a thing that happens. Until the next time a little therapeutic whimper eases the beast needing a bit of compassion. When the pour is too much to ever hold in. So chuckles can once again create a grin.

Low tide...

And what if I couldn't go at life alone? Is there anything else needed to be known? With everything I'm about to follow my truths up with. Do you seriously question the words sitting upon my lips? If it was you that I found irreplaceable. Somehow fell in n never expected to return from a life so sensational. Like I feel like the me I am meant to be when you're around. Could you relate to true intentions craving to hear my name come outta your mouth? So the rest of my life I don't have look anywhere but into your eyes. To reason with a friend staring me down bcuz I'm that sigh. Can you see me baring all that I am? Are you witness to use attachment before you waiting to be more than just your biggest fan? I'm here. N I'm not hesitating to express the excitement shifting gears. You don't havta be alone. I'm more than worth the satisfaction if you see fit to find me sharing a home. No jokes, no gimmicks. What's the odds of you comprehending the ends of my no limits? Opened to the depths lowering tide for you to linger about. As is n with patience to accept the fact that I wanna know your every sound. Is it believable to hear me say such a thing? Or am I just not convincing? Perhaps a little too much? If so, I've said enough. 

Asking, for me...

Where are you looking for yourself? Is there nothing that seems to fit into the mental embrace of changing without being felt? In what sense of normal is it you seek? How in the fuck would you know where to belong if lost makes you wanna leave? Who is it that you've misplaced along the way? Are you grasping the content in the questions displayed in front of your face? What will it take for you to shake loose from the twitch others create? Do you ever come full circle to witness self mimic the after effect taking up precious space? When will it ever be ok to calm the nerves while waiting on the answer to appear? Why the constant torture of perfection you know will never exist without a few tears?

Dropped out...

Once falling outta luv there's no bottom to fall through. So climbing back up yet no ground to stand on when hope loses interest in the noose. Dangling n waiting patiently to put the hearts comments on display. Send young straight through to the other end of wtf changes the subtle approach so expressions are recognized upon the face. It takes one good upmfh to disrupt worth held firm. When the foundation plummets fun beneath the feet. What felt so free is classified as a thing placed back into dreams. As emotion becomes overrated to protect self from stranger's hidden intent. All of this is a learning from the descending pain weighing down thoughts that never vent. They're just images intruding on the belief when ready thought is was indeed. For a single depth touched deeper than any other year gotten to well forsaken a bitter reality. Shining onlookers having a curiosity of wanting in. But they haven't the pattern on the spiral effect down that's tucked safely behind the grin.

Going without...

I turn down offers to hang out. Not really into having people in my memories that aren't gonna be around. It's not them, it's me. I just don't have a need in sorting out details with too many faces roaming free. One could say I've  lost the feeling of being alive. Or that I'm not living enough, but it's my life. I wanna remember just one person in my best times that never ends. Or nothing at all works due to not just anyone is a real friend. I'm out there n going without the makings that create a week earned past. It's just I don't know where to begin n time is moving so fuckin fast. N others have suggested I get out for a bit. Although being alone isn't my version of enjoying the uplift. Bcuz it's right back home I go to state at the walls. With moments taking up space that won't mean shit other than that one time life paused. N how many of them are already scattered admit I'm the head? Shit, I see expressions shape shift from those who aren't with me now. N all I can think of is wtf is the purpose of the mingle if not shared with a wow. Damn this phase n fuck the stage to be seen. Even though generosities are a gesture nice enough to help me breathe. But there's no effort on my part to blend into the crowd. The solo act is just better if there's no one else craved in the now. To create a way to be as one bcuz a use has been found. N yet, here I linger as people attempt to stretch out their days. Coexisting just bcuz they can birth their fate....

Unmistakeable...

It's a look that says it all. Even after a long day there's am excitement that continuously falls. Someone's there tears of the unbelievable feeling that leaks. It's unmistakable when noticed in a sigh that breathes. When you can't see anyone other than self in their stare. Just to feel arms wrap with an assertive squeeze shared. Knowing no one could ever fulfill the enjoyment to the heart's needs. On the next level of friends opening up to embrace the dream. It's in the twinkle that shines in their eyes. Telling truths of an unbreakable bond that is so much more than life. When they cannot wait to be near who it is they luv. As peeks from even across the room create smiles that have earned a trust. In a total collapse when cuddling to a use well deserved. It's the eagerness to be in the presence as emotions are no longer on reserve. With a purity of them knowing who it is they want. Giving themselves as is bcuz they accept the daily rush. The willingness to be seen as friends leading the moment for a tomorrow to appear. To be side by side ever so naturally real...

Dimes n nickels...

What's your digits? Not your phone number. How much net are you working with?? I'm just trying to see if you've leveled up. N to compare how much with money you've fallen in luv. Yeah, I know the solo act changes the process. N I really hope you ain't the type to be blabbering at the gums of being a hot mess. Nor arrogant bcuz you can do for self. Ugly is ugly inside or out so that cockiness isn't felt. N it ain't about no weak man that can't handle you. The issue with that silliness is, every man that hasn't worked in your life hasn't challenged your use. I'm on some other shit that creates a better life. Like, whatcha working with mentally so I can configure my reasons to fuck with you in the middle of the night. Too close is a thing when someone who can't match my vibe is just there. Honestly speaking I'm straight to the point n playing fair. What's your life like when you sit back to take it in? Once the day has gone n the body eases back again. I'm wondering how self motivated you truly are. N how much I could save you as you do I by joining forces if that's what's in the cards. Financial responsibilities ain't cheap when the rif raf isn't a part of your every move. Most cases show those around us affect our daily moods. But even with a little change jingling with a swish. Do you live below your means so your not tapped out always making a wish? Some shit jus doesn't make sense in my state of mind. As I ponder of your intellect n how I find you to be so damn fine. Even though looks are receiving to the naked eye taking notice. Though, would stepping to you truly be worth it?  Life's halfway gone for me n I ain't attempting no bs not here nor there. Don't mind me, I was jus thinking of the ifs of if an us were to ever be compared...

The choice is yours...

Aye. Am I mistaking or was that look aimed at me? I noticed it but haven't seen it in quite a while. Not with that smirk you have laid up in your smile. It's cool. I watched how your stare quickly moved. Maybe I want supposed to witness you thoughts upon you face. Idk, but you got caught so Imma ask you your name. Just bcuz I liked the expression used on me. It was seriously relieving to be considered without mentioning a thing. N then I glanced into your eyes n got stuck. Even though you told them away before I could show you up. I mean, looking past what I seen was fuckin rare. In that split second I gathered how you'd be someone who played fair. Even with how quick you focused on something else. But I didn't make it awkward but I know that I was felt. I'm my own moment to snap a visual image if like to get to know. Plus, you started it so I believe I have One chance to cash in some hope. You see I'm not into just anyone throwing sight around. There's a certain come get me that speaks as being found. That's what I recognized n you know it's true. But hey, no pressure due to I'm not trying to work you loose. I'd rather enjoy the natural way you paused taking a gander at me. Bcuz I know there's something deeper for the right one, you'd set yourself free. N if it appears anything like what I couldn't spare a blink for. I'd let my curiosity meet you in the middle of comfort craving to see more. I'll leave the choice up to you bcuz it's possible you're willing to call a truce. No one ever peeps at another the way you followed my unknowing with a use....

You're gonna be beautiful...

I could never be there on the happiest day of your life. Bcuz it isn't me you'd be looking at so let's talk about life. And how your smile is the one thing I'll never see at it's greatest interaction. Bcuz I'm gonna be somewhere else when you feel it stretch across your face with satisfaction. Raw truths n real content of how I just went witness that look in your eyes. Bcuz it wasn't meant for me to see your with hair tears as you cry. With an overwhelming emotion that captures your breath. Damn, you're gonna be beautiful when you share the moment with someone else instead. Bcuz your priceless devotion isn't mine to have. As I just couldn't steal away the thrill of a lifetime from you tender grasp. And even as a friend I don't believe it's something I wanna take. Bcuz it should've been me in do time that shakes your grin. So no I won't take part in your special day. Bcuz I'll have an afterlife to deal with as you forget my name. As I imagine you standing in the middle of life shinning from ear to ear. Knowing the reality of it is coming near. With every second I waste hiding myself from your touch. I must apologize for allowing another to create for you a trust. I'm just not to be the sigh just after a kiss. Like life you must go on as you'll never know how much I truly wanted to be your wish. To see the passion in your expressions put to use. Soon enough I'll be absent and you'll be consumed. Giving all that you are to a different stranger you yet might not know. No, I won't be present as your heart tends to grow. I'll be tucked behind locked doors safe from every hurting you for a first time. Savoring the thought of us so fuckin alive. As you establish a reason to open up and adjust to another that isn't me. Bcuz I couldn't see myself being hated at the end of the dream. After seeing you at the peak of the flame falling in luv. I don't wanna watch you burn bcuz I'm simply not enough. So when you're feeling like nothing in this life good ever get any more amplified.  I'll be your biggest fan who's aching in your every heartbeat rectified...

Changing faces...

It truly gets old. How certain people come along and the heart wants to unfold. Going through the same phase with a stranger to be known. And it's the initial thrill that sucks in a repetitive ambition let the fuck down. How many times will it take to gain comforts that lasts. To enjoy someone else that knows self craves to create the memories from a week earned past? It's beyond words of what the heart truly feels. If everyone was real then why is there so many lost even though they've healed? The baffoonery is a sideshow that entertains those who catch on. Forcing self to engage in a different type of unwanted but very well needed norm. Away from the chaos that takes place in relations that end way too fuckin soon. It's better to remain alone that to come back in pain to the same fuckin room. Try or die alone. Adjust to luv and then what when eventually the other person never comes home? It's a revolving door of faces that smile as favorites. And they partake willingly in the mix but yet live a different life as if passions cannot savor it. Taken it's the purpose to cling to another. From afar to get in with life when losing just another luv'r. In due time the beginning is inevitably useless to entertain the belittlement. With new smiles to chuckles that spark curiosities with a plethora of fulfilments. In a cycle of sharing details not everyone needs to know over and over and over again. When it's just one person in a sense of being needed that could settle the nerves as a real friend. The roundabout of the game played just isn't appealing at all. So behind the eyes thoughts build the desired height of each brick paced in the walls...

Exposing depths...

Telling the tale of wants describes the identity of chameleons posing a hidden threat. As they touch vital components that matter the most when laying in bed. To give info to the pretenders defeats the purpose of genuine interactions to be determined by time. N yet words find their way to the lips to be tasted as if self refuses to believe snakes linger in emotional hype. Whispering all the little things that seen to matter to the heart. When flush becomes the comfort snuggled up in the dark. Speaking of the sacred pieces that make up the inner being just wanting to be luv'd. As in giving away secrets that short another's free will to be who they are by mimicking what's they choose to hush. Lies and manipulation creep along as life slowly plays out. Creating new facial expressions to come that cannot maintain so called truths found. When strangers become friends that never meant to be more than a lingering feel for a short while. Diluting the thrill captured by the purity of the lost smile. As use is seen in true form for the initial gestures waste off all to often. Forcing a wedge that builds a wall a little higher than prior due to how hands felt self softened. In a vulnerable state of honesty opening up. The tongue flips with a rambling craving to be known for the sake of luv. To get through the introduction a little bit quicker so the fun can begin. And I'm the doings the joy of being found without mentioning eventually cripples the grin. Applying weight to the chest that suffocates what's been traded to obtain relations on a higher level. Fair it until they make it is the moto so they can enjoy memories trapped in the head that need a deep burial slug by the shovel. They chuckle knowing what's allowed to infiltrate a victim. All bcuz self have away the wants and needs that make a difference just to receive the spew of venom. As the pain spreads as if dying alive was indeed more real than it already is. Wearing the betrayal like a shadow during the day just to be surrounded by the lack there of of a worth abandoned by a kiss. Stripped of the willingness to show who it is as self bcuz others only dabble periodically in a false sense of compassion. Meeting it harder the next go around to accept the overwhelming feeling to express any type of passion...

No recollection...

 Remind me of what is like. Or of the feeling I'm supposed to have. It send my thoughts condone my time. And I'm overthinking emotion as if it's a scab. Maybe I need you to just be real. Without all the overwhelming nonsense. Yeah, I'm trying to remember the feel. Although I cannot lay down my defense. I'm always in high alert. Waiting for true colors to be put on display. Like you I don't wanna hurt. Like me I hope you can relate. It's just, I cannot get back to opening up. Something's missing beneath the surface. There's a void in depths craving to be luv'd. And it's damn near as if relations is worthless. Help me understand what kinda friend you are. I'm curious to know what it is you want. Bcuz what you don't know is I'm not giving you my heart. But to earn it is a task that doesn't blush. I'm at a loss and I'm not sure what to say. Passion isn't flowing the way it should. I just don't believe in strangers wanting to become a familiar face. I'm lacking the relevance of complimentary bonds outside of being friends. The deeper you reach the more hollow I fall. Into the unknown darkness where you cannot find me to defend. So tell me again of how I'm living life flawed. Just protecting myself from the aches and pains. It's like my natural guard blocks me mentally from the memory of how I once was. By keeping me safe in a way I cannot explain. I think I need some insight to gain a thing called trust. Bcuz I alone have drifted from desires that know not the rush. Nor the eagerness to hurry into the confusion waiting around to be seen. I might be a dead man walking who's unable to sink into the flesh flush. Standing in place and unaware of a use before it leaves...

The endless cycle...

I lost my smile again today bcuz I don't know where I belong. I have a home but yet it's as empty as a heart pleading with every sad song. As the secret is mine in the making of awakening to each day with hope. Just to avoid other through details so self can remain a loaf. My thrill bottomed out once again. N it's hard to fight even there's nothing to ever begin. Time just keeps going as I feel misplaced so often. As everyday tends to be the same ol same creeping into my coffin. I'm losing me daily n idk why. Reincarnated by morning just to die by night. It's an endless cycle that trusts no one that leads the way. N I haven't felt alive since I wiped a half cocked grin from my face. It just seems pointless to pretend I'm ok. When I collapsed in the makings of being positive by midday. There's no purpose other than to live. N without some sorta thrill emotion had nada to give. Creating a bottomless funk that claims all thoughts. N there's no turning it off once the slip isn't caught. Down I go with the corners of my mouth. Sinking into solitude never to be found. But daybreak will come after I've slept it off. N then maybe I'll break the endless cycle n find a reason to pause...

The idling wonder...

Without a face to comfort the ache. Life slips away with emotions escape. Leaving the mental estate of the mind in wonder to stall. Not knowing where to turn to have a life worth luv's fall. As gain is a confusion once obtaining self. Quit no features for eyes to text upon sight cannot create anything felt. Defining the lone drifter feeling lost within. One in which that could use just on confirming kiss. To be touched from across the room not many can understand. Becoming closer no matter the distance in between the friendship worn like a tan. With the absence of a smile that defines free will. Passion is a pain that has lost its thrill. Having no known whereabouts of who it is that completes the crave. There's simply no one in sight that uplifts the heart to play with the flame. The void is the calm waiting at patience are lost. As giving up on the dream is the ultimate cost. For it's the common use of a friendly gesture that loosens the gates. But where is the one irreplaceable down to shaping of the lips to say their name?

On our own...

All for the sake of nothing... Nothing in return for the all. Welcome to the party known as your life. Paying contributes to phases that get trapped mentally once installed. Everything for the better to end up without. As going without defines moments not lived. Being too busy or secluded to have the will to mingle. There's comfort in the lonely solitude when hating the feeling of single. No good comes from the bad. N yet the bad captures all good thoughts give to waste. With time using up what one can never get back. A chance to create a smile upon the face. Hopelessness starves confidence as the belief is confused. Confiding in no one as hope is lost. Beginning a desperation as days turn into years. Missing out on the details craved by the fall. Straight through like nothing ever happened but the pain. For what does happen is the struggle that pains free will. Knowing one wrong decision is all it takes. N right back to the basics on a solo ride is a thrill less chill. Friends matter when relevance crosses paths. When we each have a path of our own that changes with the shape shifting of a friend. So alone is the true origins of sharing the state of mind. Thinking bonds last forever when in actuality the come n go as if chapters that have an end. Simultaneously the stand wants to enjoy a little bit of something. But something else is a recreation the transforms a simultaneous chance. One that alters as we grow older on our own. As nothing is meant to remain as the same as the day before emotions enhanced. Drifting is the chaos in the head that cannot find a calm. Caught up in the calming of wanting a need to stop the drift. Powerless we're of sequences occurring that are periodically misplaced. As choices made eventually resemble what we become doing the journey of the trip...

Uprising...

Cleaning out the heart, changing up. Taking care of the inner makings, not giving a fuck. Mean, yeah I may be too those who can't get what they want. This dick isn't on tap n thy heart? Fuck instant luv. Checking out, I'm switching up. N muttering nonsense isn't a thing to me, hush hush. Actions through time is a course well taken. No patient? No interest? N I'm gone with the owning of the consistency of the blaming. I'm tweaking who I am to better my life. N the control you want over me just doesn't exist. N honestly I have a choice to enjoy your soft azz lips. Don't play with me. I'm not what you think I am. Respectfully you'll luv to hate me in the nicest way. As a man. Never to spoil your ego feeding on emotion. I got me in every sense of wants are chosen devotions. I'm correcting the mind so what matters sense.  Relations ain't shit without a friend who knows what it means to live. In my own, the world I see doesn't consider the transfer of power. It's more subtle to be genuine by having limits avoiding moods crossing lines every other half an hour. I'm not what you're used to n I'm not giving into the bullshit. There's a unity going on inside of me. With an ease the head n chest collaborated to detail my sacred pled. N you get what's been defined as who it is I truly come to be. So breathe. Accept I'm not your version of a silhouette that sets you free. I have me that craves the feel of life. All silliness aside. My time isn't something taken for granted. Do be dismantled before my eyes in an act of single handed. Nah, I'm flipping the odds n it's your loss. Precious, cherished, it's me as my own boss. A one man army loosening up to my true self. I have a worth n the same ol hootinanny isn't felt. The deeper the dig the more shallow vanity appears. My depths aren't for your fiddling so let's make it clear. Stand on what you believe n do not twitch. One wrong move n you're just another bitch. Flat out. Face to face. Ghosted due to the inconsistency you twiddle with. N it hasn't a thing to do with hate. We are who we are. N I'm riding up to the occasion to present myself. No harm no foul. It's ok to be oneself. As I have me every fuckin day. You're gonna havta like me to luv me bcuz I don't do hate. I'm evolving so I can smile just being alive. Ignoring the rush of someone new who cannot wait to absorb the hype. Not me. I have have better things to do. I come with a package not dead weight. N I won't think twice to have you removed. To become a memory I do not recollect. A part tense particle forgotten at best. As my up doesn't align with your down. So tell me, how does that sound? You tugging on my week being just bcuz you can. Bcuz I allow you to torment the palms of my hands. I need not fingers entangled with such a grip. Foe, if you are, will never be missed. I've glitched n seen the ugliness of who I was. From the other side of wtf I turned on my own gut. N n that I've claimed my sanity that you can never have. Tell me if you will, why shouldn't I sidestep you as a poof in my past?

Clock me out...

Come on clock. I gotta go. There's something I need to do. I can't hold it. I don't wanna. It's explicit but damn it feels good. Clock, will you hurry the fuck up? I'm ready to pop. I can't wait. I feel it coming. Wtf!? Clock!!! Help me out. Send me home. In the privacy of my own twisted grip. Alone n imagining things unmentionable to most. Wanting to play. To jerk. To loosen the fuck up. I'm losing it. The pulsation is too much. Clock me out. I need a release. I'm backed up. Bothered by thoughts. By a desires to do as I please. By golly hrs feel like days. When it'll only take me a few minutes to explode. With long slow strokes to calm my nerves. To ease the tension. To soften my girth. I have anyone but me so free up my time. I'm damn near on the edge. Daydreaming of a rug n a pull. Standing with one hand on the wall. Head cocked back. Grunting. Letting go of reality as I think dirty little thoughts. Until I... Yeah!!! Fuck yeah...

As mine...

As I bury my cock deep inside of you. Finding your hormones moaning to thrusts put to use. Cum on me. Simply put. I wanna feel your pussy pulsate whole I feel your wrapped around my girth. At will, gush. Go hard as I feel every ripple stroke my shaft. All the way down to my balls bouncing off your azz. Get it. Make me feel like a man capturing your crave. Loosening you up until you explode saying my name. With your hair in my left hand n n left it in the other. Testing you nipple n squeezing your flesh as a luv'r. Just listen to our thighs slap as we do us the way we do. As I did beneath the surface to open the gates as we move. I'm n out n in n out n in I keep going hard ASF. Turning a moment of lusts into a night o go luv. Getting closer than fibrosis l fingertips can swirl on your clit. Take me as I take you as we suck a kiss. Feeling twirling tongues going wild with excitement. Groping the body fill of incitement. Like an intoxication flowing with the thrill of orgasms panting a sighs. I was fuck you like I wanna keep you in my life.