sad enough to smile

n here we go again.
with this misinterpreted luv singin on.
goin down in flames.
jus like the last one that tore.
its me n my heart gettin on.
with the bag of emotions to throw away.
overloaded on lifes lil thing.
deletin the mental images of porn.
forward gone legs step into the drift.
lookin for a lift to help that feel.
tuggin on where ive went n jus been.
enjoyin the fadin moments til they heal.
jus to hold the aftermath of whats left.
once decipated life changes quick.
yet there goes yet another one.
swirvin lanes drink moistures lip.
at the ends of starvation.
bustin bubbles holdin memories pop.
acceptin the truths reloadin the game.
checkin clicks as roulette skipped a hop.
makin it through the other end.
leavin toe tracks on the tears that fall.
alone n fillin voids gone solo.
sad enough to smile in a pause.
havin my chance to know it wasnt me.
loosenin back up to the ways of countin lies.
watchin pete push repeat off the bench.
gettin the final cut to ease to ease the mind.
comin together before never comes a callin.
lingerin with the resistance of the wind.
a force that doesnt move quite so easily.
onward with me as my only friend.
n it isnt even in the wee hours past midnight.
as im fightin u off again.
makin myself believe im better off with out u.
fallin apart as a man.
as this u should never know.
to pull me apart in ways...
like youve done before jus bcuz u could.
as i fade.