excited over the shoulder

Turnin around cuz i heard somethin sneakin up on me from the backside.
 Must've been my imagination playin games within the walls of my mind.
 Was it u standing in the rain in the distance or was it a figment of my imagination.
 Reminiscing to look over my shoulder quietly kept from my conscious emotion.
 Footsteps were empty standin in place exactly where they were left to stay.
 Seems u don't jus follow me when i close my eyes everytime i get so afraid.
 Behind me in the distance toe prints have vanished in front of the soles imprint.
 Another sign that makes me believe they've stopped for reasons untold intent.
 Ur memory pulls me back to recall what couldn't make it to the now of gone.
 It's saddenin searchin for what it was that escaped u n I never goin wrong.
 Lost, ur not behind me to get me through the twists of bein alone.
 Ur jus tucked away in the creases that protects what remains of u in the dome.
 Unable to accept the pain, strength riddles in rhymes within the new edition of me.
 Changin what u remember of whom it was i appeared to wanna be.
 Though I'm nothin like who it was that stood before u with a different lean.
 N my back hasn't felt the comfort u gave in some time now since u were freed.
 As the sound of ur laughter spins me around to see ur face so alive.
 Breakin my stride for that moment to capture the cure that escaped my life.
 Let down by the silence that's replaced the joy u brought to unconditionally.
 My grin hangs upside down knowin ur simply not there simultaneously.
 Walkin up on my blindside to correct the misdirection in which I've roamed.
 Watchin u dancin in the reflection in my eyes in between blinks rememberin home.
 The mirror lies to my image takin shape to ur presence that no longer exists.
 Guess i jus haven't come to terms with losin my best friend i do indeed miss.
 N I'm constantly thinkin if i look over my shoulder ur gonna appear.
 As i hold back the drip released by the fact that ur jus not here.
 Holdin me up when i fall the way u said without tellin me you'd always would.
 I've fallen n have become somethin u wouldn't recognize as the same under the hood.
 For seem reason i thought it was everlastin in a different sense without proof.
 Maybe it's jus the want of never lettin go of the luv that wasn't done with u.
 I feel u still as I collect myself for you've expired due to what has inevitable.
 N yet it was ur existence in my world sort of speak that molded an intellectual.
 Havin u for a brief second meant everything in so many irresistible ways.
 Ur irreplaceable as not even time will ever allow u to eventually fade.
 Livin in my minds heart attack since the day u had to parish from my sights.
 As somehow I've managed to cope with the emptiness never to be filled nor hide.
 The hole within grasps every chance to want ur return to awaken me from this dream.
 But the realization is u had to turn in ur gloves u fought with to be that need.
 U escaped without a warnin n couldn't tell me u were leavin.
 I wasn't prepared for the loss I faced runnin solo into the future grievin.
 Never to say goodbye, not once has it crossed my endless mind caught up back then.
 N you'll never know u live in the way I luv curved to be able to bend.
 I am this cuz u were back when everything made sense.
 As noises pause my every movement to stand still long enough to pretend.