engaged

Eventually jus ain't came a crawlin my way.
 Then again i wouldn't know what it would look like if it appeared n spoke my name.
 The break seems to not be interested in someone like me.
 Guess this weight i carry is to heavy for it to complete my dreams.
 Hysterically i chuckle cuz i don't need the pity.
 I'm jus lookin for the ends that connect to compliment my dignity.
 Solo as i ride on the backbone of lifes endless torment.
 I creep untouched by the false presence that wants me to be the moment.
 From the top down I've climbed the walls that quake in my mind so unattached.
 N not once nor will i ever plead for help to come rescue what can not be had.
 On a stroll in the middle of life the ground gained is that of my own that's earned.
 N my words i could care less if their ever heard.
 I give no fucks if i every make it to the top jus to fall to another blow.
 It's me n mine as i am him that needs only air to strive after touchin the depths of low.
 A new disappointment with an assignment in their heart to take what they can get.
 It's jus not permitted in the my norm cuz i rid the games from self for they jus don't fit.
 Fools chase n that i am not, i jus don't have the time for half steppin arrogance.
 N i don't have it in me to play in the drama with a self imprisonment line of defense.
 I'm good on the B.s., I'll do this shit on my own n stand proud.
 Never to be as shady as those that can't walk the line when it curves upon the ground.
 Cuz I'll break left as they go right justifyin the way i luv n live my life.
 I felt the blades edge carve names in my backs display i can never hide.
 In a struggle that's lasted too damn long, i accept what it is i have do.
 I'm not the type to do tricks n jump through invisible hoops.
 Blazed with the fire that lit the candle that flickers lies dancin upon the wall.
 I'm done waitin on the calvary to show up n release the tension in a single pause.
 I'm way to different for anyone to relate to cuz they jus can't keep up.
 N I'm tired of feelin like I'm the only one, time n time again i always wind up gettin fucked.
 I'm engaged as the troops surroundin my glory have fallen in defeat.
 Singled out n starin at the victory in the distance unwillin to back down n retreat.
 A pawn disposable in their life I am a one man army protectin who out is I am.
 In the flesh representin a reasonable sense of security for me to ease back n land.
 Comfortably alert n alive I'm engaged with the piece of mind that's come to be.
 As the soldiers layin about behind me had failed to fight to honestly be free.
 Unable to come from within in my presence to live n a connected sense.
 N my own image is my own line of defense.
 The reflection reminds me of who it is that can not only see behind who it is as me.
 For the terms have changed to collide with another in heat.