the after thought

After the thought of interest.
 Somewhere along the lines of livin.
 Wtf went to the figment of the imagination.
 Wantin it more in the end as something's missin.
 Drained by a so called hells forfeited help.
 Once the mind wrapped around the proof.
 Warped it knew it was lost.
 From under the tongues unguided truths.
 Held in to forgive n not in a biblical sense.
 All cuz a smile mattered briefly, on time.
 Easin into erasin bein failed, carryin the weight.
 Memories dive into the nights.
 Suckin the life outta the comfort.
 Past the initiation of luv.
 Before standin within self all alone.
 Somewhere else sufferin from what appears as Alzheimer's totally numb.
 Shit jus gave way.
 Emotion gripped the pain with a creature named hate.
 Squeezin the stare of anothers cruel grin.
 The after thought is always the same.
 It's really to funny for a clown to smile.
 Expressin what doesn't need to be said.
 Steppin out the backside with survival.
 Seems someone's always gotta go astray.
 Unable to hack it.
 Gone n steppin out, becomin a blur.
 Well before they coulda let a mo fo know.
 In the change of mind confusion occurred.
 Sad the heart seems to back it up.
 Followin the lead of lust instead of luv flush.
 In a way, used til somethin better comes along.
 Gapin wounds open to the blind eyes simply unjust.
 Yet, who could possibly want them more?
 We know what we feel for them night n day.
 In our expressions we claim you'll never find another me.
 As the chuckle giggles in our irresistible face?
 Somewhere near the end we truly change.
 Tryin to hold on to who we wanna know.
 Desperate or fed up.
 Either way, characters take a blow.
 Snatched from the depths.
 Suffocatin in the pillows talk now muted.
 Screamin at the silence buried head deep.
 Emptied secrets ask r we ever undisputed?
 Then we blink n wake up years from the pain.
 N not only is it over.
 It's as if it were jus a dream.
 N u can't remember what it was like to hold him/her.
 There's nothin left to be felt.
 Memories shut down n become vague.
 As self has reemerged stronger.
 Wiser than a prior self engaged as luvs slave.
 N more aware to fall to the same ol bs...
 Windin up as a thought gathered to land on reasons list.
 If the eyes were to shut for good.
 Would the dream live on the way we'd like to remember it?
 No longer chasin the passions will.
 Runnin from the reality under the pressure of the past tense.
 Only if the thought would occur in pre game.
 Would any of it ever make sense?
 Back when the music made us who we were.
 Findin the expression in the movement.
 Madly in luv n comin undone.
 To rest in the finales end well before one could realize what it truly meant.