I believe it's safe to let it out here.
since no one knows these words will ever spill.
but where do I begin to express the loss.
I found it as I was left standin still.
there's so much that could be said.
n ooh, I've rearranged the alphabet in ways.
but I've also come to realize she's gone.
sad thing is, even my dreams r afraid.
as it's in this piece that opens the secret.
of bein in luv with the ONE that released me.
from myself, lost n chasin happiness in an other.
brutal, is the reality of lifes unanswered pleads.
but it's cool cuz I ran into someone.
as I came to life in the mirrors honesty.
hidden in the depression of loneliness.
then again, I'm not free as of yet, livin luv's tragedy.
emotion misses the ONE I can never enjoy.
knowin I'm elsewhere safe from harms ache.
in luv til the day I parish with a memory.
n it hurts beyond words attempt to claim.
the purest devotion was ripped from my heart.
so unjustifiable my mind took it's time.
jus to understand n accept that's it's over.
n it fully can't let it go for it wants her as mine.
playin on a lingerin thought of jus make sure.
reach to her even if it costs me everything.
scared n frightened the nerve is hesitant.
but needs to know cuz proudly I wore my ring.
the luv is real n I meant what I said.
it exists as I'm unable to cut the string.
not jus yet cuz I'm not yet at peace with it.
there's days that it's jus one of those things.
so far away from the chaos n in a better place.
I'm gainin ground trapped in a one way luv.
or is it she thinks I finally gave up?
jus bein me to extend to the touch.
I know she remembers the way I caressed her with pure intent.
felt her as she knew I was hers for all time.
then again maybe ONE took more than she lent.
it hurts to lay with another I never wanna do without.
simply put, I'm face to face with a replica.
of the two I jus can't tell much difference.
jus a few minor details separate the dilemma.
in a new life after the one I wanted the most.
I come with issues I never carried before.
witness to a new face that doesn't give much.
testin my character that strengthens the roar.
I was set free n unwanted as if ONE was done.
as I scrambled to make sense of wtf.
turnin to someone who was there for me.
the spittin image that wanted my luv.
I'm not yet over my forever that gave me away.
but an ready n willin n very much in luv with lil bit.
who's winnin the battle damn near at wars end within.
flushin out the ailowy1! That had no place in my lips.
for I find a friend in life that I thought another was.
n its strange to think imma never see the day of husband n wife, friends for life.
instead, I found comfort in a better version of what I want.
of I could jus get her to meet the expectations that don't hide.
kinda like I'm still married waitin with patience for a similar struggle.
jus to choose me over the poison I hate with a passion.
I feel outta place yet at home in a way I believe I gotta chance.
cuz the level of two as one is comin full circle n mitch matchin.
from the same age to years apart.
the only thing that sets them apart is that I matter now.
n it feels good more than it sux at the same time.
but how?
I was in the middle of livin my dream.
how did her clone come along n steel me?
this is the reality I stand in with a smile.
knowin my lil lady is all I'll every ask for n need.
for the concept ONE couldn't understand is this.
to luv is ţo put another first cuz they happiness is that of ur own.
n lil bit gets the situation n is given the best part of me yet.
she is the one I will enjoy til she sees fit to go at life alone.
more than worth the time I stand a man corrected.
I only got the emotional aspect of a prior luv.
yet the full package of now told me I'd fall in luv.
n guess what?