closin up shop

here comes the mind sayin wtf it needs to say.
playin a fool n tired of leanin inward every mutha fuckin day.
so here it goes screamin without the mirrors reflection.
naked n striped to the bs that it fights repeatin muted confusion.
hear me now, I have some chains to break that can't listen to me.
fuck this shit cuz I'm closin up shop due to the irrelevance of what I need.
in a moment of us u can't seem to get it together n I'm clingin.
so under the pressure of endin up feelin solo n watchin u without reason.
idkwtf my purpose is here when u don't fight to cut ties of ur past.
it's me that pays the price pushin forward as u claim luv is me n u want it to last.
I've been here before n lost it all to the same demons u can't release yourself from.
n half the time I sit in silence as u drift off somewhere only u can go so numb.
I ain't got it in me to cry for a battle I haven't a chance I don't have to win.
ur poison alone is my addiction of hate I don't wanna stand the test of time with.
this is a decision u forced upon my shoulders as I dwelled on it over n over again.
Its not me that'll ever get ur best so I guess jus pack up n grab my birds as a man.
no more crutch holdin ground I haven't to gain in this life or the next.
n u say I don't understand, yet u haven't a clue the weight I carried through this test.
this isn't ventin to correct the situation we face due to ur lack of appreciation.
it's a final curtain closin cuz the show is over for the world to see me in desperation.
down I went fadin into u as u drifted away as u despised what it was u couldn't see.
this is me risin to the occasion to find the comfort without pleads.
I'm not the fault of ur destruction n I damn sure won't take the blame.
I won't allow u to place that weight in my hands to carry so u can hold me to shame.
I'm more than this fragile type of humiliation grippin so tight I can't feel.
this is goodbye to u as the kinda person I needed for so long that jus wasn't real.
I gotta go n find out where that line that stands only to bend for the better.
u hold me in with guilt that claims my luv anymore n u don't care to change.
feedin patience that waits for ur smile to live as I gain more n more rage.
I feel played by what seems to be bs fadin with what this could be n shoulda already been.
I'm suffocatin to ur cause so selfish to witness me fall apart as that special friend.
it fuckin sux cuz someone else is probably gonna get the u I never had.
in my hands jus once I've never felt after everything we fought for so bad.
I'm done n goin bout my way n can't worry bout u thinkin I gave up on u.
u see, it wasn't me that gave up when u found a different kinda luv to crave.
second time comin of tragedy jus ran through me n the price i payed.
were never gonna see the good times we never endured smilin back.
i stood by u the way u did me but since u been back honestly tryin u lacked.
it's sad once again that I'm not enough to someone who takes my luv for granted.
yet back on my feet i think i have finally so tragically n in a fucked up way landed.
everything u ever said to me was jus u gettin what it was u wanted as i was dreamin.
n again I'm findin i haven't found the truth of proof that is careless n the closet I'm cleanin. I've reached n corrected self as i reverted to bein who i was as the me i truly am.
all cuz u don't care enough to stand with me n get at it so we can have what slipped from outstretched hands.
so this is goodbye to the u, u chose to be before my eyes that leaked.
I wanted it so bad for it to be u I enjoyed cuz I meant breathin ilu as now I must leave.
u will be missed no did fall in luv with u in a way I never thought I woulda ever.
u jus didn't want it as bad as I did when we fought for everything that jus became never.........
........ilu!