sweet spot

i wanna drive u crazy. make ur legs snap n clinch onto the back of m head.
lay u down and show u the man wanting to give u everything in da bed.
jus ease back n let me show u what i've learned on my way to u.
i got tricks in da bag i've polished in time, n hopefully i get to use them on u.
relax as i take control without takin da power from ur will.
i promise i know what im doin n i have sum pretty good skills.
pleasure is only the tip of the ice burg i'm willin to share.
but it is on da mind and da tip of the tongue to be bared.
lemme find ur sweet spot n make ur legs tell me to stop.
as i climb up ur past uv navel til i wind up on top.
to lay u down is one of many things goin thru my mind.
lemme give u all of me n become one as we find ourselves intertwined.
lost in something we never want to see ever end as long as we live.
to a certain lil lady i have so much i'm willlin give.

to ease

healing from the inside. in a place i've shielded and hidden from this world for so long. let one in and it's broken before things ever took off. wonder why i never allowed anyone to enter. i knew from a young age not to do so. but nooooooo! i had to feel something with someone i knew would do it to me. but it's all good. i got my scar. i've felt the pain from a desire of wanting someone. and i'd love to do it again. only next time i know what it is i'm looking for. with a lil time under my belt to ease this hole in my chest. i'm going to get back at it and chase down a long lost friend. see where it may go. someone i can trust who won't purposely twist me up. nor throw me away. hopefully one i can find that one thing in. it's been so long. and feelings still linger in the air. n i like it because the feelings are mutual. willing to ease into it. but being honest enough to express wanting more. my future looks good.

boy and girl

found by faces.
sparking flames.
invading spaces.
going insane.
finding friends.
someone special.
attempting to bend.
watching it fizzle.
tickling touches.
feeling the one.
lost in kisses.
no longer alone.
bonds formed.
time spent.
becoming norm.
hearts are lent.
becoming one.
gathering emotions.
feeling ones won.
hands and lotions.
happiness shows.
on stretched faces.
two knows.
as eyes gazes.
candle lit moments.
priceless times.
wanting to hold it.
as hearts shine.
as love grows.
deep within.
feelings mold.
shaping a grin.
tasting a partner.
lips so soft.
love gets stronger.
getting lost.
in another's eyes.
wanting it all.
emotions can't hide.
coming to ones call.
voices flow.
echoing pleasures.
never saying no.
cupids arrows.
given a chance.
giving self.
happy pants.
being felt.
loved and wanted.
beyond this world.
seeds planted.
boy and girl.
finding each other.
in their time.
becoming lovers.
as life chimes.

lookin

noticed. time afta time by those who don't mean what they say. lost. thrown away as if they woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday. flippin the script n callin me crazy! all i wanna do is love n be loved. live n let live. take some time n figure out if relations r real. to keep. hold. cherish n protect. this is something that means something to me. my emotions don't come cheap. but one doesn't havta pay either. it's the wantin of a grown man as i have a wantin of a real woman. a mature female with a strong mind that won't cloud her heart. strange things have happened on my way to where i stand. most my fault. but here recently i can't take the blame. i gave it my all. but twice i had to walk away. not sayin i'm a gift. but i'm good to who i'm with. appreciate what they have to offer. n give em somethin worth while.

long ago

it's been so long. where in the hell did you go. vanished like the night. reappearing as if your face never lost it's glow. it's been so long since time allowed me to see your breath taking smile. and you still have a place deep in my minds secret file. i remember how i use to sneak a peek as if you were to knock me off my feet. you were my first crush and you made me feel so weak. and here we are years later as strangers finding our way talking today. me, in a stage of shutting down and you're just strolling along making my day. it's funny how i never stood up and took my chance on you. i didn't know you felt the same way about me that i felt about what brewed. wow, only if i would've spoken up so long ago before the watch got misplaced. i'm not trying to jump into anything until my recent past has been erased. and that could take quite a while to come to close. but friends are a must because we have a history that has been froze. needing to be thawed out by conversation to catch up on where we've been. my intentions are good and what i have in store is not a sin. friends reuniting as long as possible until time gives a chance. allowing my heart to heal from a very good gone bad dance. it seems like yesterday we were all goofing off with out a care in the world.
my shy ass was to chicken shit to say anything to try, like a little girl.
but it's all good, times have changed me into a man i have come to love.
and in time i know we're both looking for the one who fits like a glove.
but right now you have things going on for you and i'd never cause you any problems.
so friends we can be and catch up on good times lost in between our troubles.
the rest is time and patience of seeing what is and what will be.
and i'm okay with that scenario playing out to hopefully set this long ago now finally face to face thing free with thee.

this position

old faces. not due to time but just ones that were misplaced for some odd reason. lost. gone. walkin their own path. wonderin around in some one elses space. somewhere they thought they belonged. maybe so. but as something has surfaced the way it has. i can't hide this any longer. a lil time is all that's needed to find out what it is. letting things be known is the first step. from here lets see how it goes. i never thought i'd be in this position. ever. this is unreal. something more than worth looking into. seems like forever ago at times that a crush was all i had. wanting to tell you things i shy'd away from. but now you're telling me you felt the same. makes us one in the same in a sort of way.

closer

Once again I'm left standing one step closer to the man I want to be.
Reinvented and reunited with my inner self that's changed and one step closer to being truly free.
Vision is more clear everyday I wake and rise with a chance to get mine.
One step closer to the end yet I'm that much closer to the time I shine.
I may never get there soon enough but I'm getting it in the best way I know, like I should.
Growing inside myself, I just hope I don't burst by becoming to big for my own good.
I'm one step closer today than yesterday because i feel the man in me willing to live.
One step closer than just now just because I have so much more to give.
I've walked many paths that have led me to my own damnation.
But I stand here today knowing the closer I get, away from the suffocation.
I am closer than i have ever been and i am not as close a i want to be before i am done.
And i am who i am growing inside of everything i have learned under the sun.

have u ever?

u ever felt the pain stream down ur face uncontrollably.
twist evry emotion inside u as it leaves u so fuckin lonely.
confused n angered by the absence from the lack of @ fault.
goin crazy cuz one pushes buttons with u, rubbin em raw.
have u ever not wanted 2 walk away from somethin u wanted so bad?
forced hands chokin da color outta ur face like as if u been had.
pain settlin in 4 da long haul as reallity beats down ur hearts luv.
have u ever needed 2 walk away cuz da mind has been fucked?
??????????????

i got

i got this feeling.
it's something unreal.
i got this woman.
that makes love real.
i got an emotion.
i'll never willingly let go.
i got a good thing.
i'll always show.
i got love in my heart.
that can not be replaced.
i got one last chance for love.
one i do not want erased.
i got my mind made up.
and i know what i want.
i got all i need.
and she is filled with spunk.

love

love has a way of finding it's way through he toughest of times.
when all else has failed and time is ready to throw in the towel, love will chime.
if love is love and love is willing to fight, love will gather what's left and love and live.
open up and be in love with the love that love is willing to give.
sometimes love falls in the hands of the minds over thought out process.
put on pause by the heart to find out if it is indeed love put on recess.
but when love opens it's eyes and reaches and is caught by a hand that is willing.
the feeling of love that caries through the body is more than wanted and ever so filling.
when love has been found, nothing will ever be able to break the truth of love formed in hard times.
for the bond in time spent together will be irreplaceable by any obstacle if it's real.
unbreakable and unchanged when two hearts finally realize love is stronger than steel.

breaking point

breaking point facing me down.
long stare in the mirror, hates my frown.
pressure builds as the face bleeds red.
feeling there's nothing left to be said.
watching the fool before me break ever so slow.
giving will power as it eventually will go.
fists tighten as tight as the hands can squeeze.
forcing down the weeping sounds of please.
whispering reality one doesn't want to believe.
knowing the heart only wants to be relieved.
hot flashes burn the skin smoking to a sizzling stench.
feeling one has been put into one hell of a pinch.
the breaking point has arrived and has been triggered.
now what to do with all the feelings that have been brutally splintered?

deserted feelings

outstretched hands slipping from fingertips.
loose grips, the heart takes its final hit.
eyes swell in its wells full of pain emerging.
facing this world and feeling undeserving.
palms pour with sweat making hands slide.
as the evil pit within one can no longer hide.
emotion flips and inner rage forms.
hating the deserted feelings of being purposely torn.
minds rolling into a state of shock.
hands attached to the head because it will not stop.
the pounding hurts and the minds over worked.
heart aches and irrelevance bleeps unforgivable words.
feeling the dying of something once so good.
willing to change everything, only if one could.
confusion settles rattling the nerves once made of steel.
left wondering wtf is the purpose of this fucked up ordeal?
fighting within ones self as if self is to blame.
losing another love to a selfish played out game.

great pretender

great pretender. oh how you paint a pretty face.
you got me to surrender, then off in your great escape.
great pretender, oh how you've done what you've done to me.
and i'm still willing to surrender, but you set me free.
great pretender, love sounded so smooth coming from you're lips.
like you were my savior, then you went and tore and shredded my heart as you lost you're grip.
great pretender, you give love until you feel it's ran it's course.
looking for you're very own savior, melting feelings down that were never forced.
great pretender, how i feel still for you and i don't understand the smile on your face.
now the great defender, i'm left gripping onto the dreams thrown away.
great pretender, how's it that you give up so easily as if it never mattered?
you're not the defender, i am the one fighting for everything that's been shattered.
great pretender, do you have it in you to go through with the love your mistreating?
or is your heart to tender, like mine has been mislead after being trampled, beaten and now grieving.
great pretender, where has the future of such a great thing gone?
love is tender, and you skipped a beat and skipped out on what was never wrong.
great pretender, how is this the reality that we actually live in?
my minds in a blur, as if i feel like i'm never going to ever win.
great pretender, this love may have passed you by as you refuse to fight.
as my love to you is a blur, as you force me to say goodbye deep within the cold lonely nights!

dying words of love

dying words of love allows the truth to be set free.
good or bad or as ugly as it may seem.
love never fades as everything else slips with time.
love stands ground and concurs all and out shines.
one can not fake love because it tells on everyone.
showing how much fun the ride was before it is done.
finding this thing called love is a test the heart will crave.
the ups and downs of emotion and feeling trying to escape.
trying to feel that one thing in someone that is beyond flesh and bone.
beyond the mental aspect and reasoning of reality.
it is unexplainable how human nature can show one their own insanity.
getting attached to another because it is worth the moment in love.
to be given up on and with a push and a final shove.
the only way to tell if love is truly real is through time.
when two people stand for the love filling their hearts and mind.

bye bye

if it was love that ever called my name.

i believe it whispered a silent breath in the tone of your voice.

speaking softly enough to my manhood.

helping me to make you my only choice.

so as i speak in dying words of love, know this.

bye bye baby, you can kiss this.

fighting like a love soldier

feel it and don't think so much about trying 2 find it's reasoning.
if it's there and it crawls beneath your skin like a new life, let it fill you in.
love is not a mental stability equalizing the hearts repetitions.
nor something that can be processed and let go as if it is a hallucination.
yet we fight the feeling from within, of a war raged against self.
knuckling down and trying not to be hurt by making the wrong moves, refusing help.
pushing away what could be the one thing in our lives that could make a difference.
losing the perfect piece to a puzzle that hasn't been set into place because of ignorance.
as we walk blinded, following the shutters of our minds that keep out the light.
and time is at hand waiting for us all to fail it's playground of love losing sight.
unable to find the good in another as we're to busy depicting them apart.
caught up in the defense of a world built to break one down before it starts.
we as i to have fallen victim to such unbelievable circumstances brought upon by me.
guilty i stand accused of dragging love to the edge to find if it is as real as i can see.
yet only a few percent make it back from the darker side of love that turned cold and black.
and have the chance to actually live in loves grace by accepting it's actual facts.
love is love, a feeling of a single heart that's enjoyed by the beholder.
willing to be loved, but not by just anyone, only by a love soldier.

man down

u stripped me of everything.
everything good in a man.
u took away what women seek in men.
now i gotta try n feel if i can.
ur a heartless selfish individual.
but i wish u well.
hope u find what it is ur lookin 4.
park of roses n weddin bells.
cuz i was gonna do this.
on ur moms bday.
cuz she cant b here to enjoy it with u.
so with her u can have jus one more day.
once a year as i she were here.
but u stole the purity from my heart.
u broke me down then left.
but 2 every end is a fresh start.
u will b missed.
u were most definately worth my time.
but life must move on.
cuz i gotta find mine.
u have my wishes.
b good 2 urself.
u'll realize one day what this was.
n wanna take it back off the shelf.

it is u

reachin out 4 luv 2 accept me. things inside me r bein set free.
its a touch n a kiss. the stare in the eyes n meetin of 2 sets of lips.
the knowin of all thats been wondered about. now found n held n spoken without makin a sound.
somethin in me has a new direction. fixin all my imperfections.
n it is u. ilu.

this is that moment

this is our moment to shine. if we can make it through this, nothing can outlast our love. not even the day we die. this is the moment i told you i was waiting on.the one i know for a fact that it is real. you coming home was like speaking without a sound. and i am someone different as i stand beside you today. let me be the man you seek. for you are the glue that keeps me from falling apart. love is a powerful thing if you know how to use it. and now that my eyes are truly open. there is no one that could ever do what you have done to me. you lit my world up the day you we met. and i have not been the same man since. it is hard to find what i believe we have grown into. and this is our test. our fight for us. fight with me. lets go at this thing heads up. our time is now. moments like this is what makes or breaks love trying to grow. feel me in your heart and find if it is in it, where i belong. this is the moment that will give us the hope and the future of love. ilu.

Rachell

shattered n dreams at ruins, causin a slow everlastin over emotional termoil.
watchin the veins pump n implode, burstin outward from their boil.
losin focus set in motion, the end is here, another story of loves brutal tragedies.
lookin @ belongings as 1 has disappeared, leavin tear filled memories.
twisted feelins of forever r taken from me once again, n the pain is my comfort.
battlin wit reason that make no sense, my heart has been broken n wants her.
but it is how it is dealt with, that will make or break the individual i want 2 be.
n i must walk away even though i refuse, if it's real it will come home n luv me.
shaken n confused, i stand a man that was willin 2 do all the above.
white dress 2 dress shoes, releasin a flock of white turtle doves.

this is how i feel.

go ahead man. its ok. if u need 2. let it out. ur human. of flesh n bone. ur not perfect. i heard the words spoken. (i havn't liked u in over a week, u fuckin bitch). now im feelin it all over again. i tried reasonin. changin. there's somethin i swore off. 4 what. i havn't asked 4 anything in return. i've gone outta my way 2 show in action. who it is i want. n it feels like its never goin 2 be enough. no more texts of ilu. hurry home. i miss u. i cant wait 2 see u. n the last 2 times of out sex sessions. somethin is missin. not on my end. but i feel a void on hers. n i'm hopin we can make it through this together. i've given myself away 2 someone who is pushin. someone who is unable 2 see what ti is i am about. yes, i am a real man. 3 kids of my own i raise under my roof. n yet every time i turn around i'm a piece of shit. i do not understand. i pay the bills in my name. work every chance i get. n still, i am replacable. it's breakin me down n tearin me apart. i do not know what 2 do. with no friend 2 confide in. i'm tryin but i'm growin weak. restless. unappreciated. i asked 4 her son 2 be around more so i can at least be a friend 2 him. teach him n show him some kind of version of a man. has not happened. she says he doesn't like bein here. doesn't like me. i think she lies. i believe it's a cover up because she truly wants 2 leave. n don't know how or has no where she'd rather go. am i bein used til she's back up n runnin on her own 2 feet? i can not tell. i told her last night b4 our misinterprited argument. i love you. more than any1 i've ever loved. she replied with, "r u feelin it"? referrin 2 the liqour i jus started 2 sip on. wow. seems i', losin something i don't wanna watch leave. 4 the first time in my life i've found some1 i like. n she's so self centered she blurts out obscenities. jealous statements. n what ever she can come up with. hat is not love. that is me takin the abuse of another mans wrong doin. n the drinkin is old. damn near everytime she starts, she does not know when 2 stop. like a binge drinker. she loses sight of reality n is only worried about havin fun. fuck everything else. n i feel it slowly comin. it's there stairin at me. im failin again as she speaks of those who i was with in my past. but i'm not with them 4 a reason. n i'm glad. cuz i found her. i wish she could climb inside me n live a day in the love i have grown 4 her. it is unreal. i never thought this would ever be me. n i need help 2 try n salvage what is fadin. i luv her. will do anything 4 her. but i can not b the only 1 to change as i sit here with tears in my eyes releasin the real me. this is how i feel. me. no 1 else. a man breakin down in front of myself everyday in the mirror because the 1 i luv doesn't get it. i've done more than my share of willin. n am willin 2 do so much more. but i can not do it alone. i need help. but not from jus any1. from her. n until she sees it. there is no hope. n it leaves me wonderin if i can keep this thing goin.

unspoken

drippin within, its leakin out.
upon the tongue, quincing the droubt.
seekin air, slowly suffacating.
never ending, quickly evaporating.
savoring the moment, words spit.
silent whispers, from the mouth their ripped.
speaking lessons, begging to be done.
moisturized eyes, drip without love.
letters forming shapes, upon the lips.
held in, the moment slips.
self defeat, scribbles appear.
speaking thoughts, one can not hear.

waitin on tha moment

waitin 4 tha moment 2 slowly pause n last.
2 form something simular 2 a unforgettable past.
ticklin every aspect of my worn out laugh.

waitin with purpose 4 it all 2 stand so still.
long enough 4 me 2 get what is left of my fill.
openin me up as it uncontrollably begins spill.

waitin on temptation 2 call out n ask me my name.
whisperin in tha wind of a unique kinda game.
as i'm set adrift n walkin carelessly in tha rain.

waitin 2 cross tha unknowns unreturnable path.
steppin lively n tryin desperately not 2 crash.
thats a lil somthin of what i'd like 2 have.

waitin 4 tha moment above all other thrills.
2 be touched n persuaded by a secret kinda skill.
1 that shows without a doubt upon thy grill.

waitin on that silence of knowin i made it.
as i found it n my hearts begins 2 skip.
tastin another set of gentle once used lips.

l luv

I luv da way ur eyes stare.

Da way ur nose flares.

Da way ur mouth moves when it says it cares.

I luv da way ur body dares.

Da way ur inner self is bared.

But most of all i luv da way all da lil things u share.