IDK

IDK? THE FUTURE ISN'T HERE YET. IS THIS GONNA BE IT? IDK IF THINGS WILL COME TOGETHER? MY END IS PRETTY DAMN SOLID. GOT A LOT TO GIVE. BUT IDK IF YOU'RE READY TO GROW INTO A POSITION IT SEEMS YOU'RE NOT READY FOR. U SEE I'M FINDING IT HARDER AND HARDER WHEN WE TALK TO SEE WHERE IT IS YOUR WANTING TO GO. AND IDK IF IT IS THE SAME WAY I'M HEADED. ANYONE CAN TALK A GOOD GAME. BUT GAMES IS NOT WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. AND I JUST DON'T KNOW. TO HEAR YOU TALK MAKES ME THINK YOU STILL HAVE SOME MATURING TO DO. SOME THINKING OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT AND ARE WILLING TO DO. AS AN ADULT, WHERE IS UR MIND? CUZ I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW. WHERE'S YOUR END? WHAT IS UR ANGLE? I GIVE IT MY ALL EVERYDAY. ARE YOU TRYING? OR TRYING TO WALK AWAY? IDK. OPPORTUNITIES ARE THERE. YET YUO FAIL TO SEEK THOSE THINGS THAT COULD HELP. WILLING TO GIVE UP CUZ YOU DON'T WANT TO OR ITS FRUSTRATING. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR THAT. I WANT A WOMAN WHO CAN MAINTAIN. A REAL WOMAN WHO DOESN'T ACT LIKE SHE'S INSANE FOR HER OWN DEFENSE. WE ALL FEEL THE SAME. WE LIVE, WE LEARN, WE COPE, AND WE MOVE ON. YOU SPEAK OF THE PAST IN SUCH A WAY THAT IS MAKING ME WATCH. I TRY TO TALK BUT IT SEEMS YOU FEEL I WANT TO CHANGE U. IDK IF THIS IS GONNA PAN OUT. I WOULDD LIKE IT TO. AND I'M TRYING. BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME I'M HOLDING MY BREATH. IS MY FACE BLUE? ARE YOU IN THIS? I'M TRYING TO FIND YOU BUT IDK IF U WANT ME TO. I CAN'T HELP BUT TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF. NOR EXPRESS MY FEELINGS THROUGH THESE DIDDLES. IDK IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS THAT GETS THE BETTER OF ME IN A WOMAN. ITS NOT SEX. NOT HOW MUCH SHE MAKES. HOW GREAT SHE IS WITH MY KIDS. IT'S HOW SHE CARRIES HERSELF. AND I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU. STUDYING. CUZ I GOTTA KNOW BFORE I WASTE TIME I CAN'T GET BACK ON SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T GET THE BIGGER PICTURE. IDK IF U DO. THAT NEXT LEVEL IS A MOTHER FUCKER, BUT IT'S WORTH IT. I THINK YOU BELIEVE YOU DO. I HOPE YOU DO. BUT YOUR ACTIONS ARE TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY. SEEMS YOUR MORE INTO HAVING FUN. AS IF BUSINESS IS SECOND NATURE. YET IT'S THE ONE THING THAT GIVES ANYONE WILLING TO TRY A BETTER CHANCE TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE? CAN YOU TRULY FEEL ME? CUZ LIFE ISN'T SOMETHING I WANNA PISS AWAY. IDK IF YOU KNOW HOW FAST I AM ABLE TO TURN MY HEAD. LIKE YOU SAY YOU CAN AS WELL. LOOKING OUT FOR SELF FIRST. THAT'S RESPECTABLE. AND THAT'S NOT A THREAT. IT'S JUST FACT. I WANT YOU AROUND. THAT'S Y I'M WILLING 2 GIVE IT SOME TIME. I LUV BEING AROUND YOU. AND IF YOUR PAYING ATTENTION YOUR GONNA READ THIS. CUZ IT'S GOING TO BE POSTED WITHOUT TELLING YOU. I NEED YOU TO STEP TO THE PLATE LIKE A WOMAN WHO WANTS IT TO COME TOGETHER AS I DO. THESE WORDS ARE AS REAL AS MY FACE CAN EXPRESS. NOT HIDING THEM, YET WAITING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR THE GOOD IN MY LIFE. IDK WHERE THIS IS GOING. BUT I'M WILLING TO FIND OUT. AND I'M WAITING TO SEE IF YOUR MOTHER HOOD IS GOING TO CATCH UP TO YOU. HONESTLY I DON'T GET YOU. BUT I'M WILLING. I'VE NEVER SEEN A MOM DO AS YOU DO. GIVING IN FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN OF FREEDOM. ALLOWING A GAP TO BE FORMED BETWEEN YOUR BLOOD. MAYBE IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS BUT KIDS ARE SPONGES AND THEY REMEMBER EVERYTHING. HOW YOU TREAT THEM TO THE TIME SPENT AND HOW IT'S SPENT. THE VERBAL COMMUNICATION AND ALL THE ABOVE. IDK IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY. BUT I'M SITTING HERE THINKING OF YOU. TRYING TO FIGURE YOU OUT. THAT'S ALL THIS IS. JOTTED DOWN THOUGHTS. AND YOUR WHERE? DRINKING. NOT THAT IT'S A BAD THING BUT IT'S NOT ME AS OFTEN. I GOT THREE KIDS I'M TRYING TO RAISE. DUI'S, I DON'T NEED. SORRY IF THAT STRIKES A NERVE BUT HEY! IT'S HOW I SEE THINGS. ILU AND I WOULD LIKE FOR THIS TO WORK. BUT IDK IF IT WILL OR WON'T. WHEN WE GET THERE, I GUESS WE'LL SEE. YOU SEE, YOUR WORD IS KINDA SHAKY. THAT WORRIES ME. TELLING PEOPLE YOUR GOING TO DO SOMETHING AND TURN YOUR HEAD AND CHANGE YOUR MIND OR DO ANOTHER. IT IS KINDA HARD TO WATCH. CAN U FEEL ME? DO U FOLLOW? IN A MATURE MIND. BE YOU N THINK. BUNCHEES. YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. I WANT IT 2 WORK. I'M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOU. LIVE YOUR LIFE. YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE WHEN WE MET. AND I MEAN THAT WE CAN WALK TOGETHER AND STILL DO AS WE DO. AT TIMES BY OURSELVES. GETTING ME TIME. SHOW ME WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED. I'M JUST TRYING TO SHARE WHAT I'VE HAVE ENDURED. NOT ONLY ABOUT THIS WORLD AND PEOPLE BUT WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT ME. WHO I AM. WHAT I WANT. WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. ARE YOU READY FOR ME? CUZ IDK IF IT'S ME YOU REALLY WANT. IT SOUNDS LIKE EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND YOUR SAYING MAYBE WE WEREN'T MEANT TO BE. WHAT IS THAT? PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENCES. WHICH ONES OF MINE CAN YOU LIVE WITH OR LIVE WITHOUT? I'M JUST CHECKING IN ON YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS ONCE AGAIN. SHARING MINE. LIVE YOUR LIFE AND MEET ME IN THE MIDDLE IF YOU CAN. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.WAITING FOR YOU TO FIGURE IT OUT. CUZ I THINK I KNOW.

worth

it is funny when you realize your true worth.
it's a shame that we're not born with it to grow from birth.
people change you and find a way in you, leaving you enhanced.
those you would see who you would never give a chance.
it is a dangerous thing when people go out on a limb.
just watching people as they attempt to avoid in some sense, a strangling grip.
one can tell if they would give the time of day and not be changed.
running carelessly through what appears to be a maze.
we give in little by little so we can have that one thing we all crave.
but it's no easy task finding out who we are giving what we gave.
the individual we become in periods of five to ten yrs.
changing before eyes unable to be seen without time turning it's gears.
looking back, checking on whom we've grown from.
finding self's true worth in our own unique zones.

make my mark

i just want to make my mark on time. cut me a slit so everyone can watch time bleed. remember me. is it all for nothing? how many like me are to be lost in time. forgotten. as if their of no importance. make my mark to let everyone know what not only what i stood for. my understanding of what life is suppose to mean. a great percent of people do not stand. blinded by religion. and i do not give a damn for it's nonsense. it takes so much away from what we really are. stealing life's meaning. it's importance. how did we get to this point in life? when did we forget or shall i say taught to disrespect our own existence? who does not want to live forever. seriously? and to want it is to refuse a god. he is a man made story? wtf are we that dumbfounded? we have a limited window to enjoy its precious gift. and we shield ourselves with fictional characters because we can not accept our own true fate. scared. this just forces me to turn on the unreal. unwilling to face the facts we all face. we were born to die for one.

better way

breeding open minds to a respectable way of thinking. ones that can decipher for themselves what is fact. helping in my time for a better way where everyone is equal. everyone gets a cut. where everyone has a name. everybody is somebody outside this world. funny. i bet if we knew what this world was made of we all would've passed on our chance to live with the pain the creeps around every corner. lurking like a weight pulling us all down. focusing on the simpler things. fundamentals of life is ones only hope for happiness. helping others understand and accept their own roll on a walk that is just that. their own. so they to can have a better way than what this world is willing to teach upfront. but it's whats behind the hype that what matters the most. small things the build up and become larger than one act can do as solo as it feels good enough to endure. but we all have our time to open the mind and feel a thought change our mind. when is it going to be your time?

please

please. keep your head over your heart. i would hate to break it. keep it out your azz. make a little sense. speak from your mind. feel with your heart. one then two. remember who matters the most. you! that is when we can hear those words that are to good to be true. keep your head and know grown folk situations are very real and mature. embrace them as you learn. grow within the way you stand inside yourself. and then we can find those our little letters that will help us on our way.

firsts of lasts

the last time was the first time.
yeah.
the first time was the last.
and it is already in the past.
it is that fast how this thing works.
breaking down because that is all one gets, the first.
anything more i am being played for a fool.
ready to be done over and screwed.
i need no repetitions on unreasonable betrayal.
putting myself in situations, setting self in a position to fail.
who has that kind of time?
i do not.
left dumb founded looking at who?
waiting on what?
possibilities of something other than friendships.
uncontrolled and unwanted hardships.
firsts of lasts when lasts we're first in the line of fire.
trying to figure out how to smile.
it doesn't need to go as far as evil eyes.
heavy hearts and sharpened knives.

when

why does it hurt when we walk away?
are we that much into someone else?
if that is the case, what happens to yesterday?
always looking out 4 self.

if it is another we love that much.
how does it turn to hate?
evil nature and such.
is it not really fate?

when hate was love.
before it crossed and burnt the bridge.
when a touch was worth a back rub.
right before it was pushed over the edge.

was it happiness you felt?
when did you begin to go through the motions?
once upon a time before your heart began to melt.
before you gave up on hoping.

did you live for someone else?
just to be let down in the eyes lost in the mirror.
did you forget about yourself.
looking like a fool and pretending hiding from fear.

how did you know without a doubt?
and yet it fell apart?
left to figure sh!t out.
forced to open up to a new start.

what makes us willing to be set up for the pain, christened?
believing in silly little dreams on the move.
goofy little schemes of things leaving us left in a state of wtf just happened.
where does all the empty promises go?

when does it turn into a game as it tilts?
ending what is said to be a perfect show.
talking trash, sounds of b.s. killing what has been built.
do you feel the questions grow?

when is it over.
after giving yourself in ways you swear you will never again.
is it in the hands of a lover?
or do you have to take a stand at some point and maintain?

how do we fall that hard?
feeling so empty when all is said and done.
who holds the cards?
playing out our time of finding the one.

was it really a lesson learned?
is it not worth fighting for all you ever wanted.
spitting words that needed to be blurred.
becoming lost and haunted by the grunted.

when love takes control.
how does hate replace that feeling?
like a nuke waiting to explode.
beaten and worn, left kneeling.

should it get to the point of imitating and stealing someone else's place in time.
pretending because it is what you have become accustom to.
in your comfort zone losing your shine.
thinking there is no helping you.

listening to your own pathetic moans.
knowin you must keep it moving.
if it is not working can you let go?
as love is missing the ingredient of soothing.

hard as a rock

sitting and waiting to be thrown away.
still and ready.
singled out again and again.
i am an easy cast.
landing long enough to be walk on.
made of stone.
forced to find home elsewhere.
i am not the first to be thrown into the water. without a care.
far enough away one can pick up another and discard them as well.
their are millions just like me.
sitting around wanting to be touched.
unknowing they will be picked up and played with.
useless to most but a good weapon to have around.
filling space when needed.
i have been trampled and kicked all my life.
always looked down on.
chipped away from something bigger.
left wherever the hand drops me as it lets go once again.
i have seen some things in my time.
tossed and released somewhere new ever so often.
misplaced without a home, yet i haven't got one.
the ground is where i find my comfort.
there is only one way up.
and then u fall.
so i find it safe here at the bottom.
looking upward at this world push me aside.
yet i am not fazed.
i am what i am and hard as a rock.
chipping away.
forcing me to grab a hold of what is left.

stop saving face

can you see the pain? can grown folks be honest if it is something else they want. why does the objects in the mirror have to be so far away? yet close enough to break another smiling face. peeps change. hearts need new ways to love. is it all good if we can speak the truth? finding home under different lights from time to time. healing in an others arms ever so often. playing hide and seek just to wind up without what one is willing to give. dreaming of another. why waste the time that is undeserving of the pain. just go. keep it real and accompany yourself with what feels right. hurt and anger fueled by revenge and hatred. it does not have to get to that point. if it is not working, pack it up. move your feet beneath you. taste your smile spread across your face. no one wants to wind up waking up lost n missing the time put into a broken road. a useless cause. fighting for something they may never get out of you. none of us are special. we are all replaceable. be respectable and live a true life worth holding. never regretting who it is that fills your day? they deserve it as much as you want to experience the love that fills the heart you share. it is not worth the raw words n friendships ruined by childish acts of immaturity. just because you can not realize the meaning behind the eyes. stop saving face like your piecing together some kind of puzzle, and just think about it.

my own way of thinking

born with a different way of thinking.
crawling inside my brain is leaking.
finding cracks and crevasses to drain away.
oozing and finding for attack points.
ambush rally points.
ready at a seconds notice.
my mind is all mine in case you didn't know this.
i have my own way of thinking.
believing in reality, no more cheating.
molded by self, i am my own help.
for self, i love self, for the heart the mind has felt.
blinking to rest the eyes from this worlds unbelievable reasoning's.
grinding thoughts into grains like ashes without meaning.
drifting and tripping on the b.s. planted long ago.
reality was gone as the mind began to fold.
i stopped the bleeding in my head.
got a clue and checked self in instead.
pushing the issues that are misused.
getting to the bottom of all the useless controlled abuse.
shedding off the ugly lies that attempted to explain the reemerging facts.
the fight as i was intended to win has never left to come back.
saving my facial expressions because it's not worth the time.
nothing can break me, i found my reason's of why.
do me in, i dare ye to try.
for learned how to deal with the course i play in which most hide.
life wrapped up inside a sweet spot in my mind.
i understand beyond reasonable doubt that it is truly all mine.
tucked tightly somewhere you will never find.
until the end of time's grind, no longer blind.
my mind is right and speaking to me.
reaching drums in outbursts breaking sound barriers in the skies, i am free.

sharing what it is i've learned without a tampering hand forcing thy to cry.
no more lies.

there is no three

i havnt thought bout death much lately.
guesse iv been 2 busy livin, it mustv escaped me.
ovr come by the meanin of life.
after feelin the blade of a knife.
i think i've crossed ovr to the flip side of religion.
havin a stronger intuition.
thoughts of ends n pain n sufferin.
drew blank as the sounds were mufflin.
livin a lil b4 my time ran short.
i've lived til i needed more.
thinkin back i feel it wasn't enough.
lifeline is bein told to shut the fuck up.
a to b.
destination point1 to the 2 there is no three.

THE BACKBONE

where would the world be if the back bone of those breaking their backs is done.
making another rich and watching them enjoy their pride warn thin on a sleeve.
is it time to give it back for the wealthy to figure out for self.
would shoes finally be filled and understood?
as we could only dream to be treated as an equal.
where would those fortunate ones wind up without the ones that make their lives more relaxing.
if we all gave it back.
would this world collapse bringing fourth a new era?
is it possible for it to play itself out as everyone became one.
if we were all really in this together.
do you think we'd find something else to complain about?
if all the b.s. was stink free.
shaking hands like grown men, eye to eye.
could those biting their own tongues for survival speak freely?
those who are never going to see the high life.
how long do you think it would be before we have mutual respect?
we all do our part in this crazy game of life.
if all that separates us is $ in pocket or bank.
how are we any different other than mindsets and train of thought.
being a product of ones own upbringing.
if we were all raised the same.
do you really think this world would be at peace?
if blacks faded and whites tanned.
where would we be.
if the fat dieted and the anorexic ate.
could this world live all in the same together?
i think not.
someones always going to have something to say about someone.
want more than you and me combined.
its not the world that's gone wrong.
it's human nature to want more than one can carry.
kill or be killed.
natural instinct to tear another down to appear a bit bigger.
more important than anyone they cross.
and what's the point?

where you stand

u gotta walk wit a swag.
if u don't you'll wind up in the next mans bag.
so who's fool u wanna be today?
who's enjoying your riches, as u give it way?
walk with purpose and style.
make time more than worth the while.
make them do your dirty deeds.
scrub your floors on their knees.
half staff only gets you set back.
falling short of the irresistible stack.
grab hold and go for the gold.
you'll see a little more by the time you get old.
playing without needing to speak.
sweeping the opposite sex off their feet.
check your walk as if it were to glide.
don't take no for an answer, stand and fight.
give in to no one telling you it's not possible.
their the ones that control the impossible.
standing where you want to be.
in your place feeding off your tree.
they know how you feel as they felt the same.
they were you when their cards were dealt this game.
giving sweat and sacrifice to have it all.
trying to be bigger than anything they'd ever saw.
laziness hasn't a walk in which feet can move.
it's up to you to find your groove.

redirection of the heart

every1 has some1 else they'd rather be with.
but when reality kicks in n they get a grip.
it gives their luv a twist.
leavin not only the mind pissed.
redirecting everything they ever wished.
and its a trip how things flip.
turnin on u n u find urself slippin.
sittin n thinkin of a way it all hints @ a lil sum sumtin.
@ what u need da most b4 u lose as u blink.
attemptin da mind 2 reabilitate as it sinks.
drinkin ur whipped n drownin in sorrow.
rippin out ur chest as its been an once undeserved tomorrow.
bein defeated 1 battle @ a time is leavin the heart empty.
fillin wit grief as some1 has released thee.
jus 2 find a new friend n fall again 2 pain waitin 2 smile.
restartin dat thing u wanted long ago without dat 1 u wanted 2 b wit 4 a lil while.

otherwise

i jus wanna reach 4 u n ud b there.
holdin ground when it shakes beneath my feet.
still needin da luv i have 2 give.
dats what im mean when i say u make it easy 2 breath.
always wantin u near.
im givin more than ull eva kno.
ur presents alone brings me joy.
givin it jus right n neva 2 slow.
wantin 2 kno if i broke down.
givin all i had.
would u stand n stay da test of time.
otherwise dis is sad.
a waste of time cuz ur heads fightin da brain waves rollin it unda.
bringin forth awkwardness, blame, n empty grins.
its a shame when 1s left searchin 4 da answers questions seem 2 yell.
yet a game isnt a game unless sum1 is playin 2 win.

the colors

like da colors dat change in da sky.
luvs a puppet in times reasonings of why's.
fallin in fallin out.
seems we're all fallin on our route.
1 min its orange n pink n purples.
then its blue turnin black like bruises ova hurdles.
almost as if it were tellin a story of luv.
givin hope as we go numb.
showin there's always another day 2 shine.
layin faith in da hands of time.
as beautiful as it may appear.
da storms must roll in so we can learn from our fears.
feelin da reds drain from da petels that consume thy's will.
pokin holes as we watch it spill.
black as night as we try 2 fight 2 get it back.
2 those things we all tend 2 lack.
flaotin along in amazement.
waitin 4 dat 1 thing dat could neva b wasted.
n yet from time 2 time driftin n forgettin our way.
in between da colors dat stain da day.
we all watch da colors change.
wit nothin but another day in exchange.

HIGH RISE

rooftop 2 rooftop. taking in angles unseen by most.
getting it in. doing those things not everyone trusts.
swinging on a rope. good enough 2 earn some doe.
this is me. and my stroke has its own show.
side 2 side. playing with danger.
living life. looking @ perfect strangers.
suds and water. clearing away the filth so folks can see.
for the day to touch there face as they do their deeds.
and its funny how they peep. taking long glances at me.
yet they couldn't do as i do. i hear it all the time.
treated like a dumb azz janitor. i got a few chosen words of my own rattling in the mind.
if they only knew what it took to do as i do. they'd give a little lead way.
see i am a man the same as they. yet i am of a rare breed. born to do what others will not. living outside the mind. pushing boundaries refusing to stop. and they are
frightened to looksy over the edge. wondering how i can live so loose?
you see this is my life, and it's all mine to use.
unlike those stuck in a nine to five. wasting valuable time.
i live unlike them. unhappy and scared inside.
choking their way into a submission. tapping out.
i'm watching cubicle creatures stare in my direction. freaking out.
with fingers outward. pressed against the glass.
unknowing i am as free i want to be, as i pass.
i am smiling with a head nod. living everyday as if it were my last.
unwilling for life to live me past. for i know it's too damn fast.
i dangle from the edge. knowing it could be my last breath.
i need it. as it is what brings out my best.
HIGH RISE. i am good at what i do.
got my ipod and a chair. gliding my way past you.
knowing what it takes to put a shine in others lives.
more than luminance as if invisible to the naked eye.
is the glass between us even there? playing mind games.
that must be how the forehead and finger prints wind up on more than the window panes.
glass so clean. it can not be seen.
another story done and ready. this must be a dream.
how can one have this much fun and have a hand so steady? turn around and get paid to do it.
looking down as everyone else looks up. it is what it is. repelling from above.
i hang from the rooftops as if i am immortal. testing my end to its end.
with only a pocket full of quarters. coming up short as one has to become the ropes best friend.

standing

up early smiling with the sun.
accepting the day, going to give it a run.
happy 2 have another chance. sucking in the air.
living yesterdays dream, 2gether making a perfect pair.
as the edge of the future is upon my face.
and the past has ran its race.
caught in the middle in which i now stand.
a man lost and finding his way the best way i can.
toeing the line in between wrong and right.
piecing together the ends i have in sight.
playing a game no one was ever meant to win.
waking day after day with one thing in mind.
breaking for nothing or no one.
as everything seems to go numb.
and i'm left standing somewhere in between here and there.
gladly playing my part as the knuckles are torn into a tare.

WhErE's HeR hEaD aT?

cant sleep with questions on the mind.
i let her in n i feel it may jus b that time.
game time decisions roundin the bend.
left holdin my own once again i must fend.
where is her head @ times i wonder.
shes got somethin willin right in front of her.
im not bout the petty games.
jus cant help but 2 think wit my brain.
im lookin 4 somethin n ground is bein lost.
n the only thing missed is time that costs.

what jus happened?

hmm? what was that?
somethin jus aint right.
wasnt acknowledged.
i jus thought it might.
b sumtin u do, what we do.
n somethin felt misplaced.
as emotion filters through.
now wonderin with a breaken face.
wtf jus happened 2 u?
what am i 2 think?
im @ a loss of words.
iv lived this blink b4.
n my mental visions @ a blur.
r u who u say u r?
or r u jus another mask.
worn 2 help u along.
i can do da math.
time will tell on all.
as it fades even da brave.
so did u jus roll ova on me?
n is my luv misplaced?

i will not stop

@ it again with self.
fightin da perfect fit i felt.
as soon as it gets 2 b good.
im back @ pickin it apart like i knew i would.
lookin 4 something n i cant stop.
will i find it, im afraid not.
maybe but im 2 damn picky.
all round woman n its tricky.
heads spinnin far 2 fast.
chasin down new pasts.
im needin somethin bad.
n every time i c red flags.
theres always sometin in their ways.
second judgin my future days.
cuz when i think i got it made.
my mind plays tricks on me n i get dazed.
remindin me of that thing i want da most.
typin it out in every lil post.
i wish iv been closer than iv been.
2 findin da 1 iv been cravin from within.
lil things addin up in2 piles.
heads not right with complicated files.
wheres da reasonin in which i seek?
feelin left standin alone on my naked feet.
givin time 2 c if its real.
but theres more 2 da game like makin da bills.
keepin a head n findin da groove.
knowin without a doubt theres much 2 lose.
i will not stop by any means.
runnin courses til i hold my dream.
shes gotta b about the walk i glide.
truly ready 2 stand side by side.
no b.s. or immaturity.
stand her ground n have flexibility.
da basics is da foundation im willin 2 share.
with out it, no matter who it is, i do not care.
i'll turn quicker than 1 can blink.
lookin 4 my missin link.
n im good @ dissecting them all apart.
cuz this isnt jus about their heart.
imma grown azz man n i feel things 2.
i n will not stop til i know she has a clue.
reasonin behind her own madness.
pain in which shes learned from her own sadness.
bringin forth a real person doin what she has 2 do.
not shovin things off dat stick like glue.
keepin face in unfortunate events.
n i'll b there 4 her 2 vent.
waitin with patience 2 tame a luv.
or squish it like a bug.
either way imma do what i gotta.
n i will not stop til i hear it chatter.
speakin voices time will tell.
in tongues dat chime da bells.

u c

it fluxuates u c.
gettin up in da mornin i cant take a shit u c.
full staff knockin shit ova u c.
cant even take a piss u c.
fluxuation of da penal. u c.
when its cold it shrivals u c.
when turned on, gaurd ur hole u c.
its somethin in da way it feels u c.
always hangin round u c.
swingin n gettin in da way u c.
brungin pleasure n pain all @ da same time u c.
every 20 minutes standin back up u c.
it needs help u c.
gets me in trouble u c.
ladys luv its size u c.
i cant help lettin it have its way u c.
up down its got a mind of its own u c.
harder than steel @ times u c.
cant jus fit it in any hole u c.
gotta b careful u c.
could b used as a deadly weapon u c.
gets sick on every ride u c.
neva leaves my sight u c.
yet always gots its back 2 me u c.
givin more than 1 can take u c.
its me n my man buddy u c.
way passed death do us part u c.
i shoulda put it in2 porn u c.
so u can c what im talkin bout u c.
4 ur own eyes u c.
its a real treat u c.
made some real money u c.
banged some finer chicks u c.
needin a break @ times u c.
its always ready u c.
down 4 whateva u c.
playin pop goes da weasel u c.
n this can go on n on u c.
but imma stop it right here u c.
cuz its gettin outta control u c.
n ur probably gettin tired of readin dis u c.

floodin

old ink drained dry.
hypnotized by da light in lifes right eye.
squeezed from an empty pen.
n da thoughts wont stop floodin from within.
addicted lika junkie needin his fix.
needin da image 2 form 4 all dis 2 make some sort of sense.
trainin da subconteous 2 act as if it were in control.
thru da blue ink bleedin red jus so self knows.
all is lost but a legacy left behind.
yet not everything 1 writes is gonna b da topic of any1s mind.
fillin voids thru faceless expressions runnin thin.
n dis is somethin i cant seem 2 win.

sound

lick da sound burstin tastebuds.
b4 da foams ova fills n causes suds.
jumpin out da mouth fresh n real.
a lil game of dare or no deal.
what is it uv been feinin?
hooks u been singin.
oozin dreams tricklin down da back of da neck.
esophagus flexin @ its best.
dont choke.
open up n give hope.
b @ ease with da way it sooths.
feel free 2 let it loose
bring it in2 play.
dribble da smooth exotic flame.
burnin holes in ur mouth.
fightin 2 get out.
let it play.
n c what sound itll make.
beatin like a heartbeat ready 2 live its way.
needin a moment 2 b heard 2day.
break sound barriers n push play.
we all have somethin 2 say.

the way it is

peekin in on faces of evil.
dead expressions, sneakin like weasels.
preparin self 4 da callin.
dreamin of those lost n fallin.
left wit fake smiles, grinnin.
thinkin their entertainin.
horrorfyin creatures.
laughin while causin pain in lifes main feature.
watchin n witnessin masks revealin pain.
leanin inward as self takes control of its name.
screamin vulgar obseneties in a game played 2 win.
tactically movin forward beneath da skin.
tickin like a time bomb.
flirtin wit da wisdom.
as da search continues 2 find comfortin emotions in others.
implodin so snappin doesn't affect rational decisions of lovers.
allowin true expressions 2 surface.
diggin deep 4 1's numbero uno purpose.
it's da way it is as defense comes 1st.
so da taste buds don't die of thirst.

silent mentions

drop a name in silent mentions.
ova step boundaries n fences.
end a sentence wit a taste dat u know should b.
as ur consciousness will agree.
while ur alone.
say it out loud n c if u can feel home.
open up n stop restrainin da mind.
refill da heart n b rid of da circlin bs covered lies.
speak verbal use.
take ur mind down from da noose.
hint a clue of what u wish 2 obtain.
within reach 2 enjoy emotions b4 they've been slain.
grow up n go 4 what u know.
let da flow of words direct da control lettin ur story b told.
wastin not a single vowel.
showin u how 2 get from there 2 now.
there's no better time than right now 2 give an effort.
go 4 drastic measures.
breach n clear up all dats been taught.
if u don't its all ur own damn fault.