to do better...

trying to find the end of the rainbow so life can ease on by. selling time taken away from living confuses the mind. the goal is to enjoy more of the daylight in between the nights that settle the nerve. to slide into a more subtle mindset that comprehends worth. so, to give chase until days fade into memories that all seem to be the same. a repeated cycle claims free will in every aspect to do better than what's happened in the past. with one step closer to securing the remaining journey lived. having more than seconds within minutes to looked around and simply sit. too listen to the weather coming down for the eyes to see. not having to go out into the world's delusional dreams. but until the financial gains have been tucked away there's no quit in sight. oh, the game set up for the failing thrill to collapse at the slightest glitch that justifies the fight. finding grit in the pleasure to pinpoint the direction it takes to cross the threshold of stability awaiting with sighs that find comfort in the air taken in. as it takes years to correct the mindset to perform on levels that require the depths of the digging in the makings of what self is willing to give.

tippy tappin...

loosening up the fingertips as they feel their way around. trying to piece words together with the tapping of sound. here we are again searching for the use to break through. oh, the feeling of keys felt beneath the fingerprints pressing towards truths. tell it as it flows from the deep waiting to be exposed. from times luv filled the heart to being so utterly alone. here in life strokes explain the twist of the back and forth attempting to gather thoughts. as the mind evolves in ways self comes with a guarantee to decompress with a truce. finding friends in the true definition of the come and go. as family drifts like tides to enjoy moments in the presence of home. time here doesn't exist, yet we live in cycles throughout days that claims it's absence. with the in between of changing from light to dark giving reality a short-lived breath that makes some sort of sense. as knuckles bend and extract to bring to life the purest expression of the experience trying to simply live. wanting the chuckle in the ribs to send ripples far beyond the taste of lips. needing without asking another to come along at some point to define a purpose to have them stay for longer than a night's fling. as the music play in the background that to the mood, clings. it's a funny place to be when the slowing down creates a sigh. resting for a bit to take in the trials and errors said to be storms that leaves the bullshit far behind. with sights set in eyes watching everything fly on by. losing the need of the hype as the settling seems to be the gift sitting still midlife. not too old to enjoy the now of giving a lil more than what emotions would like to do. having more patience in the makings of reincarnating a lil thing called hope. wondering if the opening up will ever endure a friend without an eventual end. as hands hover for seconds to wait on the next line to attend...

You came too close...

Reaching down,  putting my hands in your panties.  Smooth like, gently landing.  Feeling my way around,  you didn't have come so close.  And now I can't stop,  I simply cannot leave you alone.  With the roll of my finger,  oh the feel.  Feeling you upon my fingertips, you're so real.  Here in the moment,  ready to come undone.  I just wanna hear you slowly,  cum. Yet, take your time,  I wanna play. To experience you move the way you do,  peeping the escalation upon your face.  That's it,  nibble that lip and take flight. Your so soft and I'm all on,  going the distance down between your thighs. Now moan,  come on out let the truth be known.  Oh, yeah,  lost control. With kisses pressed on the side of your neck, do that.  Twitch,  glitch,  with a lil flick of the switch, sigh and let it last. It's what you had in mind,  pleasuring you.  Now listen to me whisker you into a nut, and move...

One stone, two birds...

 She said,  don't get too attached to getting in between her thighs.  I chuckled and replied I just wanted to fuck one time.  From the looks of her stare i believe she that I was a player.  But truth be told,  I hadn't a care.  U was attracted to her body and she had a cute face. As I listened to her silence find the weird wanting to escape.  I never led her in and was upfront with stressing in my lane.  She's the one who wanted the dick so I gave in.  For me it was a win win.  For her though,  she felt she could capture me. Trick me into her becoming my need.  But I ain't like the rest of the fellas she's came across.  I don't lose myself playing in a woman's sauce.  As she finally asked as I was putting on my shirt.  An I not what you see as a worth.  As it was her eyes that spoke. Wondering of if I considered her willingness of inviting me into her home.  I smiled,  visually looking her over and said,  I like you but I don't wanna be tied down. And I don't wanna be all over town. It was then she knew I wasn't out to hurt anyone.  Knowing I too had desires that craved a lil fun.  I'm human and this she could presume.  So she insisted on a round two. For me too do what I do with her so neither of us went without. Oh how I enjoyed her mouth.  For I agreed to no feelings need apply for a were friends in the making. As behind closed doors there were no limits to us escaping.  She grinned as I seen her demeanor change.  As if she got that one thing that rearranged her face.  Damn she was pretty, I thought to myself.  With my peripheral soaking into very body as my mind couldn't help. It too was amazed by the sight laying naked before me.  She knew how much I wanted to touch her. Softly laughing she was at a loss of words.  Somewhat happy to find someone like me minding my own.  As I could say the same,  one stone,  two birds...

Free will...

In the middle of a smile fading slow. Sitting still and confused on the thought of hope. As losing the belief in people is created by their own self righteous ways. When trying to avoid the silliness sufficating a flame. The show must go on so choices of who's who surfaces in the mind. Who's for who at the end of the day's hype? Watching issues occur without resolve.  No one having the time to rest to correct the void feeling all alone in a pause. Others will eventually convince you that only they matter when shit breaks down. Rearranging the expressions upon the face that scream in the lack of sound.  For words aren't for self to speak due to free will needing to be the answer.  One can't expect any other to act against their own demeanor. As in between the friction truths bleed the heart yet once again. Thinking feelings need not apply for in the way they always change things bcuz they can. Things get deeper than the consideration of how situations affects the way folks interact. But in the shallow they'll stay away from even their own shadow allowing time to pass. Torn is the survivor damn near pleading in silence just wanting to fix it all. Knowing it ain't for self to force when wedges tare tears from eyes when hidden behind walls.  From tonight to tomorrow and back into the night that refuses yet another chance to co exist. And yet, it's the good times that will never be missed bcuz they'll never be made. With a burial placed in the chest the secret of use creeps in as self just wants to escape. It's the realization of realizing no one truly cares. As long as their cool it could rain while the sun shines as others will never be spared. Fair is fair until it's them caught up in the crossfire standing still with opened arms. With only a white flag no one can see as it waves like a muted alarm...

Faces value...

You're crazy to think you luv me. Why do you think I'm worth the thought outta a million other dreams? It amazes me that you believe I could be someone you could consume. It only makes me chuckle for I am amused. Yeah we get along and have a lil fun. But come on now, luv? I ain't built for the topsy turvy with a friendly foe. Let's just do what we can't to do and you can go on home. I'm flattered, I truly am. But I ain't no one you'd wanna call your man. I'm too into music and living as free as I possibly can so take it for face value. I really like the comfort of my solitude. As I'll never lead you on to get what I have from you. I'd rather be an adult and meet you halfway in between simply living and giving desires their dues. I don't play with emotions nor will I give you mine. But what you can do sure does take up some space in my mind. For the images that come to life when we're together is worth every moment to slow my roll. Just don't consider me more than what I present bcuz it'll just disappoint you as your heart closes to the fold. You don't deserve to be left in a chapter you can't bare to read. There is no we. We won't awaken in the morning to enjoy a full day. I'll have to get back to life as from your fingertips I'll escape. Just to await the next time we find the time to rest in the grasp of a luv'rs worth that Hits spot. Comprehend this or I can't become entangled within the night prior to me kicking rocks...

Earning the keep...

Deep within a man a restless stillness just wants to move. It's the only fear he'll ever know that cannot be shook loose. Women will say he's either broken or shit down. When the truth is his heart is they most sacred piece of self ever found. Tapping into the mental stability that can maintain. With emotion that doesn't have a thought but a feel that's uncontrollable by the face. So to wear a mask in the moments it takes to know for sure of the lingering of likes transitioning into luv. There's details in the eyes that prepare willingness to open up and touch a lil thing called trust. Bcuz when friends expose depths a girl could destroy what a women never would. So he's careful within the way stares define a look. Patiently not giving too much at once protects the longing to get to know a stranger wanting in. As the battle within is a war to enjoy the tenderness of a rush demanding to live. Slow is the roll when true intent is to be known. For the future to hold the memories made by actions shown. He's not less than another willing to play the games just to have a dame close. Add it may even appear he hasn't any hope. But the patience that awaits in hands that refuse to let go of life is unfathomably relentless. Teetering the line in between offensively correct and defensively pointless. Behind eyes is where the alliance made a commitment some will never comprehend. For the heart can only be lent. Used briefly until a decision has surfaced to give a lil of self away. Yet, fighting the urge to open the gates. Silently moving in for the feel of a touch that'll say him free. Wanting to believe she'll never speak the words that she hasta leave. A man in his own grasps the reality of what depths exposed can do. So to give life its creation of time is the only thing that'll ease into a truce. One within himself before every acknowledging what a female can become snuggled up. No one wants to be another had been kinda what was...

So many chapters in...

Things are different in the now sitting still. The mind cannot help but to compare the phases it took to get here with free will. With days that felt better to wise to picking up the pieces to be going just hoping the rest of them gone their way back. It's strange looking into the past. Remembering thy younger self who just wanted to live without the hurt. As somehow the pain felt better than a friend could every comfort words put on hush. And the heart can't feel the luv it once craved so. Here is the moment that comes from the deep of recognition driving firm the road all alone. Nothing seems to be familiar once time slips into the wonder that comes the mind. But there's a belief that that's just life. And days go faster than they've ever before. As the point of living becomes debt stealing hours from the smile that stains what's left of the core. Foreign is the thoughts of who self has wound up turning in to. Wanting nothing more than to slow down and find more than seconds calling a truce. Everything has changed. Even the rain doesn't sound the same. It seems the details of it all are do not coexist. There's nothing but a mental checklist that claims the come up that loses the feel of what can never be missed. For forward progress is the only way to look back periodically to remind self of everything that couldn't be in the presence of keeping from coming undone. Running outta hope and forgetting emotions thrill to expose the depths hidden away from fun. The simple things are the only necessities they may the most. But damn if it isn't like the mirror looks back laughing as self is the roast. When something gets misplaced when the same ol bs gets replaced. Changing the face in ways wasting away describes the obvious unknown. All that was every needed was to find a lil place called home. Once the transformation carries the joy that doesn't know how to be. simply living the dream...

i do not believe...

i do not believe you can hear me. truth is i don't believe i can luv any other. i fell for myself. and ever since everyone else has become nothing more than luv'rs. it's a cold world. and i don't have it in me to repeating the same ol dream. so friends is all i have to offer. you shouldn't get to close to me. i'm not broken. nor do i wanna entertain your lost emotions. it's simple, there's a comfort in being left alone. i do not believe we're the answer to each others thoughts. i can't even wrap my mind around the fairytale. so why insist on me being what you want me to be? i'm not a female, i'm a male. there's no reason for me to be extra sensitive. i'm genetic make up hasn't been designed in such a way. don't girly-fy me. don't attempt to exploit me for your own chuckles stretched across your face. i ain't into making others happy unless i too can smile. and no, i don't wanna get naked. i'm in luv with the silence of my life. it's peaceful in the way life doesn't havta fake it. i'm me without the alterations that plague the heart. i'm so far beyond the games of passion that does not think. just give me space and watch who it is i am. i do not wish to pretend to fit into your world. and this is where i make my stand. if it isn't mental i ain't trying to get involved. and even if it is i ain't looking for anyone. i've been there and i've done the deed. i do not believe i'm your problem to solve. this is me. all that i am. nothing more the one i have become. don't hold my hand...

me?

me? i'm just one man somewhere in between dreams. aware that things changed in the happening of me and i'm nothing but a stranger. self is just as confused as you wondering wtf corrupted my use as i look at evereyone as a soon to be danger. and yet, here i am moving in the straight up of trying to get back to me, the man. here i am.

me? all i can say is, "just don't leave". though the circumstances are that's an eventual moment for you to escape for your own cause. as i'll be me as i always will remain stationary slowly moving in a pause. unfazed and living with the memories entangled with all the faces buried deep. coming back to me every so often and quicker than breif.

me? i'll be just fine with chuckling off the good grief. there's things one gets accustom to as life evolves into a different attempt to believe. as strength grows in a more independent mind hanging on until the time is right to escape me. loosening you from me i know you'll find yourself again enjoying a new face. fading from the now happening without the curiosity of me becoming what you hate.

me? i'll know why so it's gonna be ok to to dig deep. lets just enjoy us before the end begins its slow descending creep. but please don't fight the natural feeling to one day be a once was upon my face that doesn't wheep. just say, "weee". and live until we no longer speak each others names. calling out to a new type of stranger as the forgotten friend is that of me left untamed.

me? i'll just breathe and accept where it is the presence lives within me. going from where to there trying to become safe. keeping my conscience as free as luv'rs going on about their ways. as every experience enlightens moments briefly so the heart can feel a lil something special. before moving on to the very next level.

me? please. imma do the only thing i know how to do. stepping into the futures nowhere so it's the now that becomes a norm of use. i'll drift in the shedding of the possibility that from beside me you too will move on. with the sooner or later thought of pain that will slip into the lingering for a bit correcting the inner core. as the loss is for only one of us to feel. that's real.

me? what about me? i'm just here trying to live before i fall into a forever sleep. forget about me...

clean conscience....

you've never seen how hard i cried. not once heard the pain in my sighs. as my heart somehow and in some strange course of events, died. but none of it's equivalent to what's left in my mind. i could only wish you felt the luv i have for you. and how the power of touching you put me to use. but you'll forever go on without the purpose of a dream come true. lost to the cause of the pause as my chest stands accused. beaten with no mercy emotions took every single blow. just for you to ignore i remain the same as the first day before we shared a home. you haven't a clue to the depths poured out in dark corners of rooms where i didn't have the option to pick up the phone. bcuz i fell in to fall through a friend to be left completely alone. even after the shenanigans was over i waited too long to want to see your face. somewhere in the aftermath i was a fool still calling out your name. wondering if my intentions were ever reciprocated before your hate. and all i ever did was react to the situation bestowed upon me by the likings of your cruel gains. yet, with years swept under the rug the past was left in an abandoned me. confused on why i was forced to leave. i got caught up in the middle of absorbing you and i forgot i was finally free. so i stood up and a accepted i wasn't shit in your eyes as i smiled and go back to a simpler way to breathe.

no longer tongue tied...

it's been some time since i've allowed me to come out. and in my silence i've come to build a crave that cannot be spoken from the mouth. honestly, i just wanna play with the curves of the way you wrap yourself around my mind. i know you've done nothing and it's just my imagination but damn if i cannot help but to bring you to life. in my for sure certainty i'd drop down and give a look up to see only you staring me in the eyes. to show you how serious my intensions get the better of the intensity that's built up within me. i just wanna feel you let loose and ride the night away as i enjoy the way sigh come from the way you breathe. yes, i've been as scandalous as thoughts could ever dream up a climax running from the sensitivities of being tasted and tempted to ease your passions to me as a norm. turn the lights off or leave them on. imma be to busy devouring your secret place getting the feel you deserve. come find some worth. i may not have been on your radar but lemme tell ya through moans escaping your body. without speaking i've gone silent from the expressions damn near lost sitting around wanting to be your homebody. so have a seat and gander down at me clinched in between your thighs. i'd like for me to be known while motion touches tendencies without the wonder of why. it's been a lifetime now and i cannot keep me on hush. in you i wanna dip and dive as we get well beyond the satisfaction of us. so for into you is the only depth i've come to realize is where i belong. and it's ok if i'm down on you so long i get lost. lay back and spread my dreams before my eyes. my hidden determination to please you could never lie. i'm no gentleman but i'd slow down life for a bit to gain the speed it takes to break you the fuck off. to grasp you in my palms... mmm. mmm hmm. aggressively fuckin out your sacred lusts. i'm the one.!.

I’m coming home…

The realization of how good you had it was never a thought going through your mind. One phone call saying “I’m coming home” would’ve corrected everything in life. The seriousness of the situation was no matter who stood in your place was temporary within your choice to be absent of us. As the comprehension of the luv I had for you had been sidestepped by denials hush, “I’m coming home”, wait a phrase I waited to hear for oh so long. With an any given second to tell you “home is where we belong”. I know you felt it but failed to accept a dream becoming a reality that was more than real. One lil ring, a decision to return with a clarity in your eyes was my patience that told no lie. You were forgiven before the chaos ever took place. As you never said “I’m coming home” and that’s what bothered the expression upon my face. And now I haven’t it in me to waste my worth on the blindness in which you live. Fact is, for you they want anything I wouldn’t give. Promises came from the heart that were meant until the. End. But yours came prior to i and I becoming true friends…

The addition…

We're just an addition to one another to add to the joy created within. Let’s keep the realization of who we are on our own so we can enjoy us just trying to live. Truth is, if we were to walk through another dose of bs we would eventually be going somewhere else. So keep in mind it’s how we feel about self in every days moment felt. Anything outside of the body is merely a reflection of who we are. And that’s the beauty when we can be seen opening up the our hearts. To have luv is to be able to give it to a friend like no other as long as it lasts. We’re not each others fairytale, we’re simply an addition to the now never wanting to live to fast. The knowing is the mindset witnessed to a rare thing in a world that can be put to a defining use. In raw form to be luv’d is to possess the ability to freely be self’s truce. So who am I to you if you lack the awareness of your inner makings? I can save face as you can’t save me. Nor can I fix what you will hide from a friend in I. Let's not fuck around and dibble dabble in the shallowness of the hype. We're just an addition to the sacred sensation that needs to be awakened before we ever touch. From an mm to the flustering hormones feeling the rush. The only thing we can do is reason with self to be natural in our own way. And that’s when the addition comes along and helps the smile upon the face. 

Me and self…

It’s nice to have a few words to speak into your direction. It seems we’ve lost touch and I’m me in a different sense of the definition. Mirrors don’t lie and I know we’ve been watching the progress taking place. As I look into you as my reflection creating muting upon my face. I’m lost and found and not yet signing into where I think I belong. But in all honesty, with as big the world is, is that so wrong? Just know I’m drifting along to eventually reside with you as a friend. As the wind blows its breeze aimed without an end. Days have been bypassed without you surfacing as proof exist. I’ve lived with excuses that twisted truths into a false sense of the way I’ve lived. But here we are. Face to face with an open heart. Moving simultaneously like we’ve never been separated a day that’s gone by. Hi! Do you remember me? Am I worth the recollection to be plucked from your dreams. Bcuz still me. And that’s all I’ll ever be. Hey you. I’m call a truce. Let’s just be and see where this life we call it all goes. Without you I feel so alone. For you are me and I am you. We are one as we are we on the loose. So why fight the feeling to come back to who we have become and find a mutual reality? I’m sick of the instability. The fake smiles that creates endless sighs of who we are together. We, no matter what, are forever. Born as us and yet separated by heart and mind. Taking sides of Enrons that don’t understand the mental comprehension of life’s grind. So let’s say we reunite as a whole person once again. Just filling in the basics of the use as one simple man…

Come and get it…

In the now of fingers gesturing another to get to the closeness of skin touching. Moments ease into comforts shown a friend wanting relations without the restlessness of the rushing. Allowing the heart to be the capsule it is timeless presence willing to feel the sizzle of an eventual luv. As time feeds the minds definitive clarity of someone to trust. With laughter moving the cheer within the playfulness of a chuckle let loose. Just to follow a stare into depths the release pheromones from the deepest makings of a truce. Alone in a room with hearts that merge to feel life happening in the beginning of a hopeful ever after. As sound finds the ear in the middle of the creation of laughter. Provoked to live before the beauty of intention pass. To lay wrapped up in arms feeling the reality of at last. Calming the nerves that settle thoughts chasing a dream coming into view. Wanting nothing more than to feel how another truly moves. With a come and get in facial expressions made to embed intake into the memories chest. Attempting to become that one person beyond others, giving reason to invest. To place claims on motion to sway with body being the hours of midnight. Giving a purpose to make it through the momentary collapse of the hype…

Undefined complications…

Whispers were to loud for such a sensitive heart. The thump that felt the creation of luv set off metaphorical alarms. As a sigh thought to be followed with a smile was just a twisted sense of defenses twisted into a grin. Thickening the walls of the skin afraid to let anyone in. She feel at the beginning of purities stage to accept a friend in raw form. Rearranging the feel within the chest that fought to her thrill until it beck became a phase torn. With every page written in the eyes asa false preface of usefulness that ran internally from someone that stood before her. As time have in to explain through actions that she was a victim of her own misguided worth. Softly spoke intent got in once before the doors were shut and locked to protect self. Not yet ready for the chase to give way to the capture of such a tender truthfulness felt. Thrown away as quick as they do it’s rich caressed nerves that until the moment we’r never had a chance to live. Losing the tickle in the ribs that had an honest presence on the lips. Now lost in a past is a prior life halted by confusions never ending relentlessness to shield hidden contents from the beholder gazing in stares. Willing to stick around  to free all the misfortunes that reached for a hand that cared. Ready or not there passing of hope fell behind the curtains of the mind. As life itself redirected the stillness beneath the surface that lingers at the tips of fingertips yet to get under the lies. For thy thy tongue twiddles of what she believes others want to hear. 

Let me out…

I can’t take it, let me out. There’s only one of us in here and I’m lost with the thrill to be found. Open up and release me. I’ll find another to drift into, oh wow. I don’t want me no more. I havta go, now release my worth that’s become a bore. There’s something else I’d luv to know. Out there in the open as the real me is shown. This entrapment of self has made me a slave. I pawn to a cycle of existing alone and afraid. I’m here there’s no movement. It’s empty without the feel of use amusement. Connected to nothing this shell has become the enemy I hate. A version of myself that pulls on the smile upon my face. I want freed from the patterns I’ve created. As not everyone is a friend imitated. Let me out. Now!!!

Safe haven…

Hold still. I just wanna fell the warmth. Let my emotions spill. Landing upon your skin wanting more. As thy face finds comfort in the silliness. Laid upon you in silence. I need a moment to unwind into a fulfillment. At your mercy lemme rest without defiance. Just accept me. Curled up and letting go of reality. To be with you as my peace. A safe haven to relax my individuality. Bcuz it’s your friendship that allows me to sigh a release. Settling my mind. Feeling the ease set in. Opening up to close my eyes. For it’s you I’m with…

Mounted and clothed…

Looking up. Laying sight on what’s above. Witness to how eyes fall to me laying on thy back. Attached to the visual of ever the heart lacks.

Hair hanging and damn near a mess. With a smile reaching through each strand aimed at my chest. Through a stare shared a reaction is felt easing with life. As the silence of emotion releases a gentle sigh.

Beauty speaks from a grin telling on the inner makings that cannot be hid. It’s the facial expressions and the shape of the lips. Coming down to meet me waiting for the compression of a kiss. Breaths touch in between the interaction pleasing the ribs.

Comfy and content with a lil time spent on a friend. Wanting the day to last beyond it’s end. Tendencies move the limbs tips caressing the skin. Complete bliss creating a vibe is the depths uprooted by a irresistible twist.

Mounted and clothed there’s a sensual sensation that takes affect. Rounding out the mind in thoughts that loosen to the thrill of intent met. In the middle of soft chuckles where air moves to the side. The taste of honestly never lies…

Shh…

Shh. Not to shut you up. Nor ignore what you say. It’s the volume that speaks of something wrong. The louder you scream. The more volume you use. It shows our hearts are so far from where they need to be. To exist simultaneously together we have been present. In the physical form just isn’t enough to gain a friend. Shh. All the noise isn’t worth what words can do. Not that what your trying to explain ha no point. There’s just another way to relate. A calmer delivery that pulls someone closer. Yeah emotions rise and fall. They even feel joy along with pain. Yet, just think instead of using passion as a weapon. Lower the sound from your released into syllables. Be mature in how you come across to a partner in the middle of life. Shh. Softer. Be you in true form. The you that doesn’t come outta character and ruins a good thing. Yes, luv fluctuates. But comforts tend to do a lil more each time. A as a balance of corresponding with another is vital to keep relations alive. Otherwise it’ll feel like you’re so far away from the one you care for the most. One day to lose one of many aspects of what helps shape your smile. Control yourself. Remain intact and in the now of what it takes to communicate. It’s the only way to become one in the same here beneath the sky. Obtain the vibrational letters rearranged with the precise tone and the tunes from within with renovate. Allowing a mate to be sure their in a good place. Self is the key. The only person to direct what will be. Shh. Talk to me.

And again it creeps…

I cannot apologize for my heart. Even though it fails to act out the unspoken arts. It’s an oopsie I can’t control. Cheesy and shallow it winds up being content to being left alone. Cry? Me? You’ll never know how feelings rise to fall in the deep. Maybe I need help. Possibly what good I need is to be shown what’s truly to be felt. Bcuz the override has been forsaken beneath the surface as there’s a burial that’s settled in even my mind. As the mental approach listens to reason that protects the contents of the chest. I’m doing my best. And what makes sense to me isn’t for just anyone that wants to rush to the gush squeezed to release what isn’t so simple to get. Why can’t we keep it as real as wanting to never see a day without a friends kiss walking across the skin from a comforting set of lips.? I just may be someone who’s never gonna be enough too fast. Or to outlast the hype of moments gathered to be forgotten somewhere in a thought of characters that make up the memories cast. Idk. But it ain’t for me to figure out so I don’t believe in hope. For I have me to make sure I’m truly in a place where time doesn’t exist. Personally I move to the motions vibing in a rhythm that explains bliss. Silently without words I live to enjoy life. But, as it seems, I’m misunderstood in a clarification of what was is still lingering somehow in my daydreams. It’s strange to know how unsatisfied relations can be. When all self wants is to get along. To grow and piece something together worth a Fuck. And eventually admit openly that like has indeed transformed into luv. Although in reality I’m to sit in the quietness of my own wondering why this is. Looking at tomorrow wondering will I again be never missed?

moving emotion back and forth...

Felt in the wee hours of night. On a roll in the mind that doesn’t put up a fight. Thoughts trigger depths wondering of scars crawling the skin as they go on and on. Confused and betrayed is the recurring feel wanting to land in a norm. And yet in the dark the heart cares to challenge the way life flows. In a moment of silence the endless roams. Remembering the sighs of passion that moved within. Lingering in the feel for a lil while until memories recall self is a has been. Tripping over midnight into the stillness before the light returns for a new test. knowing a deep sleep on a pillow soft enough to rest is best. beneath the darkness there’s a silence echoing lingering thoughts. Moving emotion back and forth as they’re rubbed raw. From the past to the present time was lost that can never be regained. This is why there’s a beauty with the sound of rain. Heard by the heart reminding what’s been hasn't forgotten to ease on up. As the eyes close one more time wondering if they’ll awaken in the early dusk. As it ain't any one person lost in the mix of life that creates the desire to wake to fuck back up soon. remembering the moments that were sacred beneath the moon. truth telling what's what will speak without riddles giving true gestures to the face. as the one within had to regain self in unbarable times that were so hard smiles kept the pain away. n at times when what could've been instead of the bs that creeps back into the stillness twitching of useless memories that stole what never was. the frustration of choices are a lesson of everything that mimcs luv...

one good fuckin twist...

held soft enough to feel sighs escape into dreams. the soothe consumes emotions laying a still as midnights ease. with arms opened to the embrace of a friend snuggled up the the presence of life. happening in the moment of taking every second as slow as if riding the hype. into a drift rolling in sync with waves reaching toes on a beaches sunset. as thoughts wrap around the truth embraced by the facts that smiles gradually rest. becoming complete with the closeness leaning into a snug ever so fit. considered and accepted as is in the way bodies cling to needs giving way to wants to finally live. breathing ever so gently as nerves sleep comfortably with content. as the crave cannot help but to stay awake to absorb as much of the use that has one good fuckin twist. as the mind's weight fades into a bow to lay perfectly imperfect to the amusement of relations on display. in the stillness there's a calm that plays with the rib without a tickle to force the act when lips whisper names. just before the night slips into the sun coming back around to give one more chance to enjoy inner makings in the process of showing up to the occasion. to see the face that gave a real direction to the heart given just the right amount of attention. it makes the space between dawn and dusk a fulfillment worth the touch. designating self to a cause so personal it naturally becomes the honesty of like evolving into luv...

Escape…

Weird dreams and harsh realities. Bad decisions equals emotional instabilities. To be a expected is as something that lacks the feel. Even mentally there’s a mentality that cannot escape what’s real. And yet deep beneath sleep where the mind lingers on. There’s another alternate dimension awaiting the norm. A place fairytales have a chance to be. As fantasies linger far away from the cruel world’s unacceptable needs. From subtle to awakening in fear the limits have no bounds. As most likely to remember the truths from under the spells relaxation there is not recollection found. Motionless comfort deep beneath the closing of the eyes helps thoughts rest. Simply taking a break from the delusion of life that claim free will trapped within defense. The ease is looser on the other side where anything is possible. Even if one doesn’t remember one awakening from the alternative as if it’s optional. The fade allows sanity to turn off for just a lil bit. Living on the other end of existence feels more like life. Far from the burdens carried as useless weight. In our own lil world we escape being tamed… 

Just breathe…

How much would it actually hurt to give in by giving up on the enclosed use? To free the inner makings corrected to dance in the middle of life before the heart refuses to move. When deep nights can live in the moments that create a sigh worth the lack there of light. As the sun coming back around brings a reason to hang out until the day takes flight. Is there a defined second of good timing that will ever be willing to release emotions waiting to feel? In the presence of keeping it real. Just breathe and look around and take in the reality that surrounds everything that’s become everyday. Is there anything else yet to be that can linger into an enjoyment finding a friend wanting to stay? Is the eventual end of luv too far to go as limits are pushed to edge to see who falls off first? One will never know hidden behind closed doors taking the curiosity that lurks. Afraid to face facial expressions that could lie or tell it like it is. The choice of a conversation only expects to be engaged in charter flowing off thy lips. So who’s the coward if self is in control of how the beauty of something new sits in the balance? To avoid the truth that matters is not so much a talent.

Dig deep…

Dig your own hole and I’ll cover you up. It’s not that I hate you but there’s no loss of luv. Lay still until you sleep and the earth will blanket you to keep you warm. I’ll do it slowly so you know you’re needed no more. I ain’t mad nor am I bitter nonetheless. I just believe your existence would be better put to rest. Grab a shovel a move some soil to the side. Crawl down and get comfy deep down inside. Into a place where we’re safe from the person you’ve become. Trusting one thing, there’s no loss of luv. In your bed I’ll lay roses for you to smell with a smile on your face. Just relax as the dirt tucks you in to the lack of pain. You’ve earned the privilege to remain motionless as you drift off alone. In depths you’ve created with every over the shoulder grunt that moaned. Put some elbow in the digging of the never more. And we’ll be forever grateful to be rid of your rotten core…

Don’t fade…

Look me in the eyes just before your head hangs. Bcuz you’ll turn bait you see me standing in the change. Lost in the moment of my friend disrupted by thoughts carrying her away. Fading from luv losing the chance to be the safest place. Let your sight remain up if your chin falls hard. I’m still me drifting in love with you here consuming my heart. So I’m there now off the makings take one last peek at what life is with me. As I stare back at you looking for the color of your retnas still alive in this dream. As the weight of differences takes the mental aspect to other levels we must make it through. Lift yourself prior to time telling of a tale too late to be put to use. Witness me if you can. As your willingness reaching for your hand. Don’t drop your sights to the floor, no not tonight. Stay up and face the loosening of us losing the fight. Find the strength to admit either way the swing sways as we haven’t crossed over yet. In the balance the rests in between you head and your chest…

Tease me…

The fantasy is so vivid, so real. Watching you come to life in my mind like a delicious meal. As you lay spread eagle in front of me rotating your fingers around your clit. As I’m sitting upward in bed with my back against the headboard biting my lip. Your thighs straddling mine as you lay on your back just outta reach of my cock. Stroking yourself with pleasure knowing you’re making me hard. Oh, the beauty I imagine of your skin naked and barred plays with my heart. I crave the thought to become a reality to be touched in ways my fingertips flow with your curves. Expressing the enjoyment caressing each and every one of your nerves. As your hips move to the thrill of my eyes gazing upon you getting off. I mentally pay the cost of what’s considered to be the loss. Knowing in the dirty thoughts in my head is where you exist putting on show I can’t help but to watch. From your eyes to your toes back up to your crotch. Know roll on over and lemme see what not just anyone gets to visually enjoy. Watch the back as your fingers slide in between the smooth wetness of hormones creating such a beautiful joy…

I hate it here…

Once again. A few drinks in and idc to be here. Knowing the game they creates life isn’t real. From the strangers that come along to find themselves unforgettable at times is overrated asf. But it’s all part of the bs that last for so long so scars left? Luvr’s that fade? A lifestyle subject to eventually change the expressions upon the face?  As it only takes a lil too much poison to think in depths. Just wanting it to be over to the mind can actually rest. To be done with the financial entrapment of societies glamour that don’t mean shots to the words repeated by the cults to entrap you thought process willing to play along to be as safe as distasteful words dripping from the bottom lip. It’s in the middle of the night when the booze transform the hidden into rare form. Reminding self of his bad the crave wants it to end to escape the endless norm. When even crossing thresholds to a better life are just imaginative things that laugh in silence. Lighting a fire within to the same ol reoccurring defiance. To be seen behind the eyes when the alcohol is too heavy to consume. Simply wanting the lunatic deep beneath the pressure to free the heart from the darkness creeping into the room. There’s a bit of hatred to be when one never wanted the opportunity to choose to exist. With truths tucked in on the opposing side of smiles that lead the way. Saying fuck it in moments where the release settles the nerves edge eating the pain. Damn the liquid potion that rekindles life as if the past can never meet the future long enough to last. 6 feet down calls the body dining slowly into the inevitable comfort of  energy here determined to give up for a different path. On the other side if there it’s one is the gamble waiting for the crossover to show the prose no one knows for sure. Liquid death digs low enough to attract the disgust in the core. But one more shot will help forget how much it sticks to be alive. Even though it’s the only thing that is as beautiful as sunsets drifting light…

Sitting still…

Sitting around wishing you’d call. Deep under the influence as I fall. I’m behind closed doors again wanting to talk. But your home. What a loss. Your voice would make a difference right now. Just to hear you speak a sound. Oh wow! How I need you to tell me that of me you’re proud. As tears found me earlier today. Sitting still in my car dripping from my face. Craving your laugh to help me feel safe. Mama, I miss the way you made everything feel like there just wasn’t a thing called pain. Like waking up was gonna last forever. And since you’ve been gone it’s an all my fault. It be nice for once if time would pause. Bcuz the way I looked to you I have three looking at me and all my flaws. As strength somehow finds its way to show up when I need it the most. Even though at times in love I felt so fuckin alone. But I set myself in your vision as I’ve finally made it home. Sitting here in another version of your very own clone…

Into the distance…

Run. Keep moving. Set adrift if you must. Life will follow you in your choosing. It’ memories live in your head as everything comes back around. After the new wears off and the night consumes sounds. Once time remembers where life went and wound up. When running outta thoughts to cover up what was tatters what the tongue put on hush. Go. Create a reality that forgets as if it can. Age will catch you as who you are you will never understand. Losing pieces along the way. Replacing details behind the eyes that change expressions on the face. With every glitch that forces self to return in a solo sense. Alone time will be every so intense. Reminiscing over different places the heart drifted off too. Chasing a dream craved by all means. When you quick to adjust to a fresh start I’d stick a treat. Soon enough you’ll look back and realize what you left behind. For someone else to come along and find…

Belonging within…

Being a part of something is not a norm for a solo artists. From the other side looking over for a reason to be is the hardest. It’s the feeling of not belonging that soothes the beast. Keeping even relations at the far ends of thrills that are cheap. There’s an emptiness that keeps the inner workings of the mind safe. A presence of knowing commitments are to self that simply isn’t subjected to hate. As luv turns ugly in eventual moments yet to be. Forcing eyes to look into another  ever so deep. The outsider. The misfit. The black sheep. The nitwit. Different from the heard moving in motion that doesn’t make sense. Pointless is adjusting to the chaos of mindless emotion all while awaiting the painful suspense. The break just isn’t worth the loss of memory that replaces life with gaps. Always and forever sticking to the facts. So to remain on one’s own is the only pure mindful way to live. Setting aside the details of what an individual truly has to give. When it’s the happiness within that thrives needing no one to participate on a daily. The calm is the key that unlocks worth that’s never half azzed or lazy. To be in true form is the joy of existence doing whatever comes about. Without restraints to restrict words coming from the mouth. Free in one’s own natural state shall be the reality of the center of the universe. Knowing self is truly alone and unattached to the attraction of another’s body’s physical curves. Present is the thought process of obtaining the inner friend. One can only partake in actions along the way until it all comes to an end. Never to be a member of ownership when it’s an affiliation at best. Who we are is how we are contained within our own chests…

Afraid to just be…

It’s not that I don’t wanna fuck. It’s just that intimacy scares off hormones bcuz it might attach us to luv. It’s a mental awareness of getting to close is where I shut down. To keep you at bay as I attempt to avoid your sweet moaning sounds. As even in the middle of the nasty I collapse under pressure. Afraid to feel so I’m fighting the motion of buried treasures. And oh how I wanna be deep within you giving you everything I am. But everything isn’t an option so I withdraw again and again. Losing focus and trying to be in the moment contradicts the act of enjoying your body. As I look at you like, mmm, as the thought occurs to play it safe and remain a nobody. That’s when the beast I hide fades from the pleasure before me. Making it hard for me to regain composure to fulfill your fantasies. For you’re worth every second tasted and touched with a tease that helps you explode. I on the other hand struggle to convince myself I’m worthy of anything more than being alone. It’s not that I fear the interaction playing out. It’s the after affect of the matter that drives me inward to escape what I cannot say out loud. I lack the ability to connect as sexual intent pays the price. Half azzing my abilities so the cling you aquier doesn’t mind me not sticking around in life. Even though I wanna bury my face between your legs until you come undone. To be the one to set you free from the bs by stroking you with my tongue. It just isn’t easy when the heart says, no! As my cock somewhere in your depths wants to go home. As a fantasy I engage in the thrills bcuz I crave what you have. But as a loner I only luv me still as long as I last. I’m not useless and I’m by far not shy. I just have an issue with being more than friends as I cannot lie. I wanna do more than you could possibly know. But I’m in the way of us completing what’s to be shown. Only if I could break free from my own self destruction you’d get the whole package. But I’m me and you’re you so you’re shorted the details of passion…

The sigh…

Just one more kiss. So my lips can remember the feel for an eternity. So my emotions can consume the need. Please, it’s not begging. It’s just a real detail in the middle of aging. I truly enjoy the way our faces lean in to the comfort of being close. In moments where alone has found a friend to share the sigh in between breaths. Yes! I crave your mouth. The way motion moves the life in my chest. There’s nothing more I could ever want. So call it luv or label me a fool. For that’s what I am for you. Standing as one individual waiting on the pressing of passions expressed. Without it I’m just a mess. Lost and longing for the thrill to speak to me. Fading into the memories daydreams. That ain’t the life I desire by far. The emptiness isn’t the a necessity of the heart. But me and you? That’s as exotic as the mind can imagine us put to use. So just feel my inner intention come to life. Sucking on the moisture of a sapiosexual’s reason of why. Why try, why dig into contents beneath the surface. Finding pieces of what makes me the better part of me wanting to be seen. All I’m saying is, don’t leave. I haven’t found what defines my intentions once we sat still and stared into each others eyes. As the action simply said, Hi! With a sigh that will last a lifetime and that’s the truth. For you my defenses call a truce. As the wall within collapses to let you in. I wanna taste your grin…

I am…

Falling through luv and landing on my feet. The beast is I for I am the beast. Without surrender and there is no regrets. In a mindset of make it into the now and stick around or step aside bcuz I don’t place bets. Glitches faded and fixed the issues within. I hit the ground standing up with a grin. Lifting myself from the dwelling with a better understanding of what a friend is. Even though I’ve never truly known one so I live. Emotion eats the heart in due time. Thoughts hate memory that don’t continue with life. So why try to believe anything will last. We all walk our paths as others come and go to create a past.  The outcast awakened to find fingers pointing at the difference they couldn’t relate to. The freak on the loose in the middle of everything bypassed to regain self being put to use. I am free for the dream died in the deep. All there is beneath the surface is just me. With room that isn’t empty yet vacant by choice. My time is endless until I cannot make anymore noise. I’m in the presence of who I am as the outsider drifting along. Unwilling to play the same ol games I believe I cannot go wrong. I’ve been to the bottom and I don’t belong there. Bcuz for me without another I do care. I was the hardest thing to dig outta me and I ain’t going back in. I wanna live. For the grr in me is the one I’ve come to be. Living I rest, for beginnings have ends and that’s when people leave. And yet I enjoy moments that build up on my mind. One day after the next I laugh at the hype. It never finds the now so I blink and I’m alone again. It’s just me in here as I’m a specific kinda man. Playing on the inside and out, I the weirdo don’t need another to exist. As silence is the words unspoken upon the lips. The creature of sanity unseen by eyes rolling is I that changed for ya better of I. And for it (I) don’t need a reason why…

Men…

Men lose pieces of self when luv turns the cheek. Emotions within isn’t supposed to be provoked by a woman who was nothing more than to leave. Pulling, tugging on who he is as a mate in the world just bcuz she can. Men have enough weight on the shoulders when all we want to do is to stop pretending to be a man. When a female isn’t the comfort of his escape he fades into the back of his mind. Losing focus in stares bcuz women cannot comprehend all of the other bs in his life. Men hurt too and it isn’t easy to submit to a friend worthy of trust. There’s a wall that protects the most sacred details of being free to luv. So to open the gates for a face to be the symbol of the desperation called hope. How he feels isn’t to be taken for granted or it’s back to living in the empty fulfillment of being alone. When she twists him beneath the layers of armor sighs are released right along with her. Bcuz deep inside is a fragile individual that wants the ease to realize worth. As a tear may fall when no other is around. To shed self from the deception of a foe in disguise lying out loud. Men ain’t weak but we sure ain’t immortal to say the least. It’s peace we seen in a luv’r that is so much more than a freaky beast. As fellas upon the planes we walk we cannot come from depths to show our true contents. Especially when we do we get ripped from ourselves when we’re simply attempting to living in time spent. We too get trapped mentally in a place we wish we cold flee. And unlike women it’s not just self men havta compete with as everything gets buried along with the thought of being free. For if we don’t stand firm everyone around us will believe we ain’t cut out to take our rightful place. When all we need to partake in the madness is a real friend that understands what it takes not to live with hate. As men look at females in the modern era as loose cannons wanting equality when it fits their needs. Just to point out the so called facts that some things are a man’s responsibility. As if they’ve ever seen a real man hold on to his sanity hidden behind eyes that close. Lifeless without passion is a man and yet it’s used against him by every naked body enjoyed with heated moans. So how is a man to give a woman the tenderness of his touch? When he finds himself to be in a battle to remain who he is bcuz she claims to be more of a man than who he is tainted by her skin laying flush. Just for him to havta get back to who he was prior to the chaos upon get fingertips. Men fall and men drift into a dwelling wonder of the capabilities of a woman’s lips. Slicing scars on the heart of a worthy compassion willing to be more than steal. Men do feel and we fear the uselessness looking back at us in ways we may never heal. We aren’t sponges but we absorb it all. And sometimes when meeting someone new we need a moment to thaw. Like a time capsule waiting to witness something we’ve never seen before. So we ain’t subject to having our use used by feet stepping on a floor. Men havta be the ones to suck it up and hide weakness from a society so relentless it tests him at any moments notice. As we lock the doors for a soothing set of hands that isn’t bogus. Men. We havta defend woman and self from them. It’s a merry go round of pointlessness when the the result claims good men. Quietly we just wanna forget every name we’ve ever been…

Chuckles in the wind…

Waiting on them to tell it like it needs to be said. The way emotions once claimed to be as real as the elite air shared in and outta bed. It’ll force the mind to believe in self’s more than they could ever try to convince self. If they never speak up the end creeps in for another to eventually take a turn at being felt. With the evolving way life tends to capture thoughts in the memory coarses are walled even if friends return to the stranger from a prior past. In the presence of truth the line tends to determine the details of use using patients long enough to show worth. And it all goes poof if a voice refuses to reach to be heard. As the ever changing ways of days sit still to watch the sun come by. Life won’t stop to find another the power over what matters the most so it’s bye bye. With a tear in one eye followed up with a smirk that chuckles in the wind. It ain’t ever about where one’s been. So when lips fail to flap due to someone knows without a doubt of who it is they’ve gained. Life fired on all in the same…

Play…

We go from wanting the weather to be good enough to go out to play with our friends to getting caught up in life. As faces come and go and old familiar ones find their way into a strangers memory of what used to be the greatest hype. Back then it was all about being as free as parents allow children to be in the moment without fear restricting the suspense. As somehow the being older part is the entrapment of the mind that demands the creativity of the imagination with emails and bills lurking with every single financial move made ever since. Just by getting into the swing of selling self as a business labor is used to gain a child’s daydreams still buried deep beneath the pressure of the world. And if one can just step back and be one will break the chains of societies relentless following that makes no sense to thumbs twirled. To retune the spirit with the innocence that’s gained a lil wisdom along the way.  From so long ago when wee bit high was asking mom for permission we realize there’s times we need someone to simply tell us no in the nowadays. As the learning curve molds the person just wanting to go back and take a break. From the security of a home where all a kid hasta do is awaken and stay outta trouble there’s a comfort in a pictures younger face. As we can’t wait to grow up to do what we want just to wind up thinking, wtf? Sitting around from time to time trying to figure out the tricks to the game as the weight of it all is carried without physical scars caused by so called luv’s. As the smile goes up and down that never settles in a frown too long. We’re still that youngster wanting to come out and play if we can we just live like nothing could ever go wrong…

Second to you…

If I’m not the second to know what we are in your mind we should go do our own thing. There’s no point if I’m not the one next you you knowing why I’m in your life and one of us should just leave. Some things just ain’t in the makings of you can’t turn to me and tell it the way it needs to be said. It would be emotional suicide to allow me to believe I could be that person before were dead. If I ain’t the reason of sanity that eases the soothe I’d like to know in the here of now. When it comes to us the truth is vital to collaborating to coexist without playing fowl…

Consistency…

Thy heart isn’t worth the time for luv makes no sense. The losing of the way of emotions clarified the mends. Carry on as your vibe lingers far from the presence of a man disconnected from a weakness that aches. Save yourself from the bitter ends of a kisses taste. The chest isn’t empty, the contents just refuse to resurface without a reason to engage in depths falling outta control. Feeling only what thought has been set aside for isn’t in the makings if sanity isn’t considered as the strong hold. Think and thou shall receive what’s been reserved for another that comprehends the basics out in the open. Gaining a sacred invitation to the accordance of passions in spirts formed into real luv’ns. Compatibility is an attraction spoken into words heard for more than a lil while. Tapping into the facial gestures tugged at in an upward direction creating a smile. These eyes are blind until equivalence stands firm in a stare willing to escape. It’s in the way of two minds collaborating for a better chance to last, not to just exist. As what’s been hidden for so long reaches the tenderness of hushed lips. Naturally flowing in a moment of life happening somewhere in the anywhere of what’s known as in the here and now. For once being able to laugh out loud. To keep memories made safe so the collapse of another friendship doesn’t shut down the good waiting to live. Ahh, the twist. To free self from the cage that protects vital details from chameleons playing the part. Giving use to a real kickstart that’s a more sensible desire that doesn’t fall apart…

As the mind drifts…

As a thought can bring them to life. The heart opens to the feel of a friend that can’t escape the mind. Figuratively trapped within the skull for keeps sake. Helping the smile stretch upon the face. They feed the imagination on fantasy levels where the hush creates the scene. With an ahh every time sept sinks into daydreams. Fondling the passion built into the texture of curves. Just wanting to evolve with the temptation of hormonal nerves. The thrill is exhilarating to tamper with the flesh in raw form. Down to the dirtiest of acts that gives purpose to a whore. And yet in a good way this a release in their eyes to be freed at last. For what goes on in the head could never be half azzed…

Unfulfilled…

What if I didn’t wanna play the game no more bcuz I felt it’s never enough? Or if I just wanted to walk away from everything including the invisible handcuffs. As I question my life and reason with why I’d rather decide to put an end to the hype. Hoping as a desperation to finally ease my mind. Maybe the material things aren’t fulfilling the crave that hungers for a simpler way. It’s possible I’m not sure of anything that will ever stay the same. The toll is subsiding within and I’m drowning again. And there’s no two hands but my own that understand. So if I’m gone without the knowing of where I’ve gone. Know I’m looking for home instead of waiting for it to come along. There’s just thing I believe in and so many others I don’t. And I can’t figure out which way to go and I probably won’t. As I sit with thoughts that clutter my hearts memory of what’s the purpose of drifting this way. Everyone sees shine but there’s a restriction hidden from plain sight that cripples my face. Truthfully I may be on the line of limits trying to keep up with the nonsense. Having satisfactions altered by a drive that makes no sense. Chasing away time as it gets behind the memory that cannot remember living so much. Yes mindless acts of wasting away is absurd as such. I just want out to show myself that I’m truly done with giving a fuck. To step from the civil entrapment that has captured free will willing to partake in a scandal hushed. With a two steps forward mentality that never progresses into a comforts grasp. The freedom from it all would define the meaning of a past.