Afraid to just be…

It’s not that I don’t wanna fuck. It’s just that intimacy scares off hormones bcuz it might attach us to luv. It’s a mental awareness of getting to close is where I shut down. To keep you at bay as I attempt to avoid your sweet moaning sounds. As even in the middle of the nasty I collapse under pressure. Afraid to feel so I’m fighting the motion of buried treasures. And oh how I wanna be deep within you giving you everything I am. But everything isn’t an option so I withdraw again and again. Losing focus and trying to be in the moment contradicts the act of enjoying your body. As I look at you like, mmm, as the thought occurs to play it safe and remain a nobody. That’s when the beast I hide fades from the pleasure before me. Making it hard for me to regain composure to fulfill your fantasies. For you’re worth every second tasted and touched with a tease that helps you explode. I on the other hand struggle to convince myself I’m worthy of anything more than being alone. It’s not that I fear the interaction playing out. It’s the after affect of the matter that drives me inward to escape what I cannot say out loud. I lack the ability to connect as sexual intent pays the price. Half azzing my abilities so the cling you aquier doesn’t mind me not sticking around in life. Even though I wanna bury my face between your legs until you come undone. To be the one to set you free from the bs by stroking you with my tongue. It just isn’t easy when the heart says, no! As my cock somewhere in your depths wants to go home. As a fantasy I engage in the thrills bcuz I crave what you have. But as a loner I only luv me still as long as I last. I’m not useless and I’m by far not shy. I just have an issue with being more than friends as I cannot lie. I wanna do more than you could possibly know. But I’m in the way of us completing what’s to be shown. Only if I could break free from my own self destruction you’d get the whole package. But I’m me and you’re you so you’re shorted the details of passion…