Sitting still…

Sitting around wishing you’d call. Deep under the influence as I fall. I’m behind closed doors again wanting to talk. But your home. What a loss. Your voice would make a difference right now. Just to hear you speak a sound. Oh wow! How I need you to tell me that of me you’re proud. As tears found me earlier today. Sitting still in my car dripping from my face. Craving your laugh to help me feel safe. Mama, I miss the way you made everything feel like there just wasn’t a thing called pain. Like waking up was gonna last forever. And since you’ve been gone it’s an all my fault. It be nice for once if time would pause. Bcuz the way I looked to you I have three looking at me and all my flaws. As strength somehow finds its way to show up when I need it the most. Even though at times in love I felt so fuckin alone. But I set myself in your vision as I’ve finally made it home. Sitting here in another version of your very own clone…