split second...

forgiving u was a realization that u no longer matter to how i feel... that moment of letting go reshaped depths the transformed  me back to what's really real... n it was a weight lifted knowing actions spoke to the heart that wanted what it knew... the saddest yet best thing ever was me admitting it wasn't u... u weren't the one i longed for as a friend... nor were u ever the beginning of my own end... i self destructed on my own free will to believe in someone who could never enjoy me... n as time loosened up its restraints to what i was accustom to i was able to breathe...  to sigh in a way where without u was the very peace i needed so... so to whisper a lil something into the wind i'll tell it as i'm glad u had to go... as missing u is not even a tone switched up behind closed doors... i gave up some time ago n found me wandering around wanting more... more than u could ever give... better than half azz silliness punching me in the ribs... the split second it took to over come my own mind my heart felt relieved... it knew it needed not be sucked back into the memories playing their tricks unleashed... knowing i have luv'd someone more than i ever luv'd myself... n it helps... i've copped with my flaw n stand on my own... waiting for a comfort to wrap itself around my excited moans... all bcuz i fell into u once upon a time ago in some vague dream... as it's a thank u you'll never hear from my lips that say i no longer silently scream... seeking what i had all this time buried deep within... n i dont ever wanna see u again... for it's not hate but a truth of u truly ain't shit... n i let u fade for my own pleasures to gain grips... as i smile with one thought left when u do come up... whew.!. even though it's on the hush...