thick of the gray

when the clouds have landed n fog appears to have smoked out the minds sight. forcing the thoughts to talk n speak of all the little things in which i put aside. listening in the thick of the gray of it all, i sit silently as my eyes fill with the realization if you never coming back into my life. visibility blinded by time searching for ways to shack this hazy effect in which i to am dying. watching in a daze as my state of mind creeps up on me never lying. surrounded by the confusion of likeliness that we shall meet again in some distant place in space n time. i am impaired. awake n dreaming of thinking thoughts i always thunk. trying to shield the pupal from the sting grazing the retinas, shutting the lids. sucking in the taste of myself very own relapse,i drift into the past where you are still alive. exhaling to find it is just me playing in between the lines, cracks, and creases of all the little things i hide form this world in a place where you can shine. blowing my mind outside itself as i look back at my face wishing life was somewhat different. and nothing feels fine. appearing to have pain expressed upon it once again. i can barley see through overcast that has landed in front of me. i look lost without you, but no one will ever know. for the help blazing in my hand will fade at its end and you will be gone when the burning substance as it is no longer lit. giving way to clear sky's where i see you within even more clouds as your memory stays and pushes me along my way. living without you day to day.