You remain...

I don’t want you in my memories to be replaced. I don’t want to lose you to my forgotten past. I don’t want to luv another bcuz I enjoyed how you felt before you had to leave. I don’t want to fear my dreams. I don’t want to miss you the way you don’t miss me. I don’t. I just don’t want to be this type of free. I don’t feel much of anything anymore. I don’t want you to slight evaporate from my core. I don’t not want to know of your true colors so full of life. I don’t care to live without you by my side. I don’t believe it’s fair to have to replace a real friend. I don’t accept you’ve come to your inevitable end. I don’t. I just don’t look at it all the same. I don’t ever want to shake the pain. I don’t do need the way I did when I had you. I don’t need to remember the years we never put to use. I don’t want to awaken to the day I’m ok with this reality. I don’t want these endless night to be an eternity. I don’t breathe quite like I have when you touch me. I don’t feel that energy anywhere else when you’re six feet deep. I don’t. I just don’t do well with you being unable to breathe. I don’t. I just don’t. But I do still have a need. I still pretend you’re still here. I still carry you in my tears. I still talk to you as if you never left. I still smoke like we’re consumed in our chests. I still acknowledge the existence. I still think of our traditions. I still wait to hear your voice call my name. I still luv looking at you face. I still appreciate what we had. I still believe you’re gone way too fast. I still crave your presence. I still resist everyone else without hesitance. I still long for you. I still know I can’t cut you loose…