The loop…

I could’ve used you way back when. Back then I was easier to convince you were my friend. I would’ve bent backwards to show you more than who I was. But luv, now, just don’t feel the rush. As lusts are a must while wanting to trust someone else. To be felt the way I used to should’ve made your heart melt. But the hand dealt was a fantasy replaced into dreams far away from reality. With sensitivities that redirected capabilities you weren’t present for availability. Infinity changed my intimacy from open to shit the fuck down. Faced changed from smiles to frowns that silenced the pulses pound. Oh what silliness weakened the thrill of the blocs sound as I became a mute. Tongue tied and amused by being abused. This is true until you were lost in memories made. Life played out and I was altered in my escape. Not a moment too late to save me from the feeling of hope. I had to redefine what home was in a time I didn’t recognize myself as being alone. I regained my throne as I reclaimed my state of mind. Removed myself from the hype that plagued a whisper coming to life. Ignoring what the breeze carried through space and time to reach me doing me. In no need of a fairytale daydreaming of the bittersweet. Instead, the trees have shelter from the rain. Insane as I sounds, I forgot about the pain. Stayed my lane and got to a place with locked gates. As chains guards my heart from a new oncoming strangers face. But hey, I’m better now that my name flows more softly upon lips. What a twist of current events as I’m still young enough not to go limp. So miss anything from so long ago isn’t a thought I think about. Nor will I pout in a tantrum to be found. I’m grounded now as life is spent...