it's like i'm always looking out for someone else as i'm sitting still with my heart in my hands... is it they aren't truly felt or is it they're being released form what i cannot entertain? telling them there's someone better other than me that will come along n open them up n never steer them wrong... n it's bcuz i truly believe i ain't no one to ever be missed... i'm just an after thought that follows a dream that somehow touches their lips... n yet i care so i set them free... due to the shallowness of i cannot be anything but simple ol me... n even though they say they wouldn't expect anything else... n anything less of me is emotions going stealth... it seems i sit on the edge to draw them near just to push them over into another arms... but i don't wanna hurt anyone for i know that endless ache that plagues the heart... i'm just a middle man as they're on their way to a better life... as they stopped randomly to take a peek at what's in my mind... n i see their curiosity stare at me with a smile... n feel the physical reality of how i drive their bodies wild... but yet the truth of the matter is i'll never be their ever lasting thought... as i save them from themselves as my own feelings are never carelessly tossed... never to reach for them in any other way other than the way luv'rs touch... as my tongue never twiddles with the passions of luv... for i'm no more than in the moment one step closer to being on the run... n every time i release someone i feel i've done a good deed... helping them with scuffle of the movement of their feet... onward they go just to leave me behind... n it's okay due to i've gotten used to this version of my life... maybe it's me i just don't believe in anymore... or is it, relations jsut reminds me of having chores... bcuz if the games ever started i know i'd win... n i don't wanna caused no pain as i'm happy to be the has been... the once upon a time ago that sits alone in the dark... bringing out their inner beauty n not trying to confuse their hearts... damn the honesty that cannot wait to speak... i force them away so they'll never feel me leave... at least they'll be gone before the emptiness has a change to settle in... n if possible maybe we can still remain friends... as i don't mind being someone to pluck for truths... as long as they don't look at me for a deeper use... the torture wouldn't be fair if everything went south... bcuz being returned to the silence is worse than anything that could ever leap from thy mouth... for i'd walk away before things ever turned raw... so i spare them the hatred n the anger as they'll never be stuck in a pause... it's just me n the way i am n i do not know why... there's just something in the way to them, i cannot lie... i just am what i am n no one will ever get in... as i cannot comprehend in which way i must live... by showing them i'm not what they're looking for, i'm a mere curiosity trapped within the image of a whore... i'm just easy on the eyes that stirs up intent... as words find my presence to be someone that attracts regrets... like i'm out n about with so many options to say the least... all with the factor of my choice of who i want to tame the beast... i let them believe these things they concoct in their heads... it makes it easier to give space to what's inevitable after everything is said... as i tell no tales for i have nothing to hide... i'm simply not worth their fuckin time...
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