the arrangement of us...

what if i were to wake up in your bed? no longer wondering of belongings of where i wanna rest. even if we agreed emotions aren't part of the deal. let's say i felt comfortable enough to lay with what's real. moving to adjust my arm stuck under your head. when you awaken, would you wonder why i pull you into my chest? what is the chances of attachments once a few times over have come to a norm? do we avoid the makings of friends evolving into more? twisting the situation into a do not return way of life. accepting too far has over stepped enemy lines. as cutting loose the thrill as a must. to move on to the shallowness of what was us. if we accidently came to realize we have a deeper depth. reaching for the surface upon the lips feeling every breath. would the end of our moment free us from a brutal betrayal yet to occur? saving ourselves for someone else's worth. when we said hanging is ok with stipulations put in play. did u mean we could never gain more than a grope that eventually fades? whos' to tell a story that hasn't been lives? why the rules if we don't hold our word that forgets? do u think we'd ever look back to this thing we do as something let go too soon? if we disturbed the mood. changed the arrangement of us just wanting to live for a bit. reflecting on it as damn, but fuck it.

i am the wall...

honestly the walls have become what is me. without them i'll never comprehend what it feels like to be free. i'm safe from this world for i am capture from within. so what is my new found freedom if i cannot live. imma need a wrecking ball bcuz i ain't climbing shit. and i'm not looking to over exert myself trying to get closer to what it is i have so called missed. allowing a stranger to feel me inside and out. i'd rather save face and  keep what i have found. i'm happy even though i too could sure be better. but i can never accept the notion of having a together forever. and it's this imaginative structure that's become a part of me. a shield to protect me from those who cannot sleep. as here in my fort no one can harm the details of who i am. wanting to change me as if a finger is their wand reaching from their hand. i am a prisoner trapped in the confines inside my own mind. living within boundaries that give me a different type of life. one that isn't allowed to step outside for a fresh breath of air. instead i've been shackled to the only one i cannot get away from in which is the only one who fuckin cares. it' me n all i have is to be without this world inflicting its pain. claiming the insanity of the isolation is driving a free spirit insane. i'm unable to fly the coup for reasons that need not be told. as i stand in the watch tower wonder who has the key for my arms to unfold. to remove each block one at a time the same way they were put into place. with each n every tear that dried up with the cement so a solid form could remain. it's impossible for me to be sprung free from these bars sunk into my heart. knowing visitors can only get close enough no matter the charm. as poof, they're gone when they cannot have what they demand as if i do not exist. so i'll stand in my dungeon balling up fists with just one wish. to be left alone until time erodes my world. avoiding intruders wanting singular to transform into plural.

no one to be...

is it you need my hands to squeeze me from your heart? to drain you in such a way it doesn't seem so harsh. maybe with a slit at the bottom so the linger of me can escape. as my fingers pluck your emotions to correct the expressions upon your face. what will it take to rid yourself of me? so your feelings don't get attached to me disturbing your dreams. i need not take up the empty space in your chest so you don't feel for fuckin hollow. the truth is i'm just not the interest to follow. or is it, you need my help to rewire your brain? so you to can realize my presence isn't much of a gain. i'm just a moment that never acknowledges the confines of luv. and i do not understand why your eyes leak for my touch. special i am not so it is okay to let go. as within your mental images i seriously need to be dethroned. it' true tis in your own best interest to put me out. that way the true pieces of you can finally be found. i'd give you cpr but our lips might touch. please avoid the confusions of the makings of us. for i do not belong to the reason you smile. nor am i anyone to entertain desperations gone wild. although i do believe you need a lil help to push me over the edge. to say good riddance to my memory waiting to be lead. with one heave ho i can be done in. taking from you the burden that cripples your grin. i can be everything you've never wanted to see. and i'd be willing to dig up the burial of an after thought known as the seed. uprooted from your garden that i never asked to be planted in. as i'd even refill the hole if it would allow you to live. i am only one person your attachments for some reason cling to. as a flingy thing i need to be removed. i'll cut me loose once every ounce of me has been hanged out to dry. no, i am not what you want in your life. you just need to gather yourself so you don't feel so alone. you just havta understand someone like me shouldn't be felt like a home. the comfort you seek is a deceiving lie trying to make right for peat sakes. so step away form the mirror and realize there's no give or take. it's just you chasing something i can never give. and you spirit deserves more than a few broken ribs. learn how to laugh at me and not with me as you overcome my presence. and when you hate to admit it, know that i am irrelevant. i just want to free you from throwing your happiness away over me. just go and i'll choke out the grief to be blown away in the breeze. and any possibility of me as a thief for i didn't mean to steal you away from yourself. nor did i know you'd feel so deep for me that you fell. just see me for the monster that i truly am. trust me when i tell you, you don't want me as your man. i'd be something that you could never withstand. help me save me from ever becoming me again. 

It is not i...

How is it that i could ever change the look upon your face when i clearly haven't got a chance? To redirect your eyes to what stand before you wanting to earn where it is i stand. As for your heart, who am i that's not seen for me to be felt? Is it i need to have a loss of words that fall short in regards to getting through as the beginnings of help? It's as if I'm orbiting around your thoughts that haven't me in mind. I sit n i notice the lack of intent like I'm less of what you expect in life. N idk if it pains me or a relief to know the truths as I'm in the middle of a tug of war. I've tried to witness myself by your side but it's mine that is empty in my core. As i feel over looked n sidestepped as a sideshow to untold hopes. N i do not believe i am what you say for your voice doesn't match your heart alone. Days go by n nights loosen me to be on my way. Drifting in the dark just to see your face as the light of day... Feeling a collapse of memories never made to make it by tomorrow's rise... As my patience mingle with the discouragement of worth to whom as i reside... To cater to the unknown outcome waiting for you to open up to me? Or fade with the feel letting go as if it never wanted to grasp our combining dreams? If i may ask, what is it behind your eyes that you think is gonna appear? Like some sorta magical poof to grind your gears. 

unassociated lives...

change is merely a boomerang effect that moves with the wind back  to how things used to be... prior to the feeling of joy so happy that another helps us all be free... but it's the return to the end as if a new beginning isn't what was left behind... back to the lonely nights so time can help accept a norm on ones own running through thoughts in the mind... from the feeling of lost to the hope of days fulfilled with someone else's chuckles heard... just to come back to the drift that's more like resting in stagnant waters as if giving birth... to a different kinda self that finds the same old comfort with no one around... sleeping in the dark as the silence creates a realness of the nothingness in the background... as to  be alright just before another face slides into self's line of sight... bringing fear to the frontlines looking at another warrior wanting to stare in our eyes...  damn near tempting curiosities to cross over n go for it like life will just havta play along... knowing at the edge of the fall we'll stand wondering where in the fuck do we belong... making a decision to leap of remain where it all comes full circle... for the truth of the matter is going back n forth is somewhat like being universal... able to enjoy a lil something before the past catches up to claim us once again... to embrace us with the only thing we've come to know as from luv we are banned... cut loose from the chance not to wonder what's wrong with the individual known as me... losing confidence in glimpses in the mirror that notice age pulling away from dreams... as the reality of alone is as brutal on the heart as the very first time it ever forgotten how to feel... having to get content with how the walls never mentions how to cope with the ordeal... they just listen like emotions did when blinded by red flags... giving the lesson a fresh sense of sticking to the facts... the alterations get old as one hasta choose where happiness is... watching people come n go without ever allowing them to ever get close enough to the ribs... as the barriers go higher n higher until the isolation is not what it is cracked up to be... that's when we find ourselves too far gone holding the only key... so a norm will never switch up n force us to bounce in between unassociated lives... all we want is a life we can partake in where we're not to jump from side to side... trying to balance self out with a foundation up under the feet... one where we simply aren't expected to leave...

living behind her guard...

She keeps doin it again n again... My best guess is she believes she is no equal to a man... As she questions her taste... Finding herself in the middle of every game war made... She sits alone in wonder from time to time... In disbelief of how every night is as empty as the luv in her mind... And as she fights off the memories she reclaims her worth... For every time she's only reminiscing due to there's nothing going on in her world... But oh how behind the mask she hides it all... The art in which she maintains her secrecy fits her flaws... No one can tell she sighs when no one else is around.... But i see it sitting on her lip trying to move her mouth... I'm witness to her living behind her guard... As i'll never expose her playing the part... Accepting singlism as a way of life... And it's only bcuz she's been done wrong more times than she cares to once again confide... As in her mind a thought lingers of why add another face to the images that recreate the bs... For her soft spots are off limits to the feel attached to her ribs... She locks herself in so she feels safe... Relying on the only friend within that shelters her from the eventual pain... I've taken notice although i'd never abrupt her peace... She needs not be lured into the unknown for she wants not to believe... At least that's how she displays herself to be... But she cannot fool me.. I know her too well for we ain't much different in our natural ways... She'll be ok once she realizes she's caught up in the phase...

touch n feel...

It's your skin i wanna touch. As if the right words found the perfect ear. As fingertips feel their way along the flow felt with luv. Sinking into the feel of how i have no fear. Slowly opening you up the way I've been wanting to do this whole entire time. As soft stroke graze your flesh. As sighs create a sense of relief as fingerprints move thoughts in your mind. Getting used to how it is you and i mesh. N yet, it's only one way to be felt. But what an intense thrill it would be to bare myself to you. Through a moment to show sensitivities as hearts melt. I just wanna work you loose. To see how your made on the other side. In true form waiting on me to be real. With one door opening at a time. From attractions to sexuality to depths reaching plateaus in mindset ready for the feel. I wanna graze your check and move in closer to compassion waiting its turn. Wanting to lay as still as breaths so relaxed. To become something other than a face in the crowd that lurks. As i tell you this for they are the facts. I wanna touch and feel my way around. Needing only you to allow my intent. In a damn near motionless gesture as lips never move thy mouth. Laid with to confirm who i am for you to invest.

the purpose...

If I'm wrong about u, i may not ever be the same... For me to cross over will only be allowed if we don't get carried away... Getting too comfortable changes limits as friends and i don't wanna go so far... being out there causes emotions to speak in ways that at times are harsh... Over stepping boundaries that must remain for the individuals we are that demand respect... The disappointment of losing another due to the selfish display of power just isn't fair... Even passion needs to be control on some level of mental comprehension where life can flow and the mind can be spared... As this world is not our judge and jury to decide who we are if things were to fall apart... I'd rather not feel broken if we came to a moment where forgetting your face would be so fuckin hard... As is a friendship that moves in a way there is no return to what was... If it's not for the better for life to coexist it simply will never truly evolve into luv... And we both know the stare of lusts that fake smiles until the hype has done its thing... So if i get you wrong and don't learn you the way you learn me, we just ain't... With nothing to follow the up on... For us to accept the undeniable leverage that takes two people and turns them into an desire that's nothing more than a porn... There's more than a belief that factors into the purpose to mingle in depths... And if not careful, it'll be the remains of what coulda been as what's left...

what are we doing here.?.

I try to make myself believe in shit i have in which i have no belief... So who are you to me.?. Idgaf if you walk away talking shit... I'll encourage your demeanor as u flip insanities from your lips... No bs, i ain't what u think i am... I need not feed your ego for me to feel like a man... You can leave at any moment that fits the mood to fulfill a different type of free.. In all seriousness, who is it you think you are to me.?. Let's tell the story in a natural way... Are we a feud or a real ease that needs not be tamed.?. You're gonna havta come into your own as we stand face to face with a wonder of us... I ain't fuckin around with you on the other side of likes if you're just wanting me to hand you my luv... I can't go back and forth as if the uncertainty is gonna linger in your eyes... The behavior it causes isn't something i do well with and that's no lie... Know what you have so i can snuggle up to a friend who ain't waiting for me to expose my back... Or there is this this we know too well that claims memories known as the past... The simplest attraction is how we are... And there's a question in your tone switching up on the contents of my heart... I can hear your inner makings forcing me to respond to your very own truths hidden deep within... Surfacing from time to time due to your own issues that reshape your grin... It isn't me in your head playing with the thoughts you twiddle with... You're doing too fuckin much and if i havta speak on it we truly ain't meeting in the middle of a kiss... I'm not made for you to toss around as if i'm a puppet in a side show... If there's something else you want you can go... Save us both the time and patience we can never get back... Bcuz honestly speaking you don't seem to realize the realness to the facts... So why do i havta remind you to stand on your word.?. It's like for some strange reason the connection just isn't heard... And what you need to do is come on out with the nonsense you are attempting to down play... As you fail to witness i've notice a tilt in our world that's confusing my wellbeing like i'm being played... Don't do it or us if you doubt the interaction we possess... You are free without the burden of hurting me to do as you please if you've lost the interest... I don't have it in me to entertain the silliness when it's my calm that's affected by the endless indecisions... So be in true form in either way you're going for a friend looking straight at you and don't have a single thing you fail to mention...

the hypocracy of rap...

 I have something called morals followed up with some respect.... N the simpltons wanna push their own narrative only wantin the street cred....

To many people don't wanna try n so out for the easy life.... But the bs ain't shit but an over exaggerated hype...

Fallin sucker to a game that claims to be real... Talking the same ol shit thinkin it's a brand new feel...

Fake azz jabberjaws losing themselves to poetry in a stale mate...  It ain't nothin but drama based bs fed by hate...

With an I'm better than u mentality of look what I got... Always spewing off a struggle as everybody wants to be pac n it needs too stop...

The motive is a dead waste belittling everyone else... Having to build their own egos verbally bcuz they truly ain't felt...

Very few are actually in sync with what their teeth chatter about... They're just in character playin a role n make believing there's no other way out...

All more the reason to continue the childishness flippin from tongues... N no matter how good the flow there's always another side kept on hush...

The imaginative creativity as jus a story to tell for attention wantin to get paid... N the masses follow as their true reality fades...

From guns to booze n hoes n drugs it's a demeanor that ain't worth the listen craving to be entertained... For there's two faces warn while turning the sane into the insane...

N there's no movement left to stand it's ground... As only the shallow minded can say they relate to the details spat into sound...

Fueling the chaos by giving a voice to delinquents wanting to be like their so called idols... But don't say shit about their minds set to idle...

They'll argue with the facts when one asks can the music please evolve??? N from that moment on ur gonna be the problem of everything that's gone wrong...

right now!!!

i don't mean to be so horny but i cannot ignore the fact that i jus wanna fuck u. call me a dog or what u will, there's jus something in the way of wanting to feel u move. as ur sensitive lips is what i crave. n i'm not gonna be happy until i work u loose. i ain't never been able to get anyone outta my fuckin head like u. jus lingering with a lounge so playful the way u do. gimme gimme i want what u got. thing is u turn me on n u don't even try i jus wanna slide into the depths of ur groove. opening u up with stretch pulsating n dig deep until i reach ur heart. falling into sexual interaction of thrust that create a kaboom. i gotta have n n that's all i know. n if i can't i'd like to know what it is u feel u have to loose. bcuz attractions are a mutha fucka once they sink into the skin. moving with hormones met at the surface coming from within. thing is i need what u have in my life right now. so take ur clothes off so i can water ur roots. as sweat poor out of ur body mixed with mine. i don't mean to be so vulgar but yet, that's a lie. only if i could get u alone in a room. i'd smack the sparks outta that azz jus to ignite the fire in ur heart. jus come a lil closer n witness how i'm no fluke. i wanna touch u in ways it changes me in as we'll never be the same again. believe me when i say, every word i'm speaking to u is the truth. from passion's slow grind to choking u the fuck out i found my crave n it's me i wish u would put to use. i'd slurp u up n learn how to hold my breath. showing u who u are to me as u make me so fuckin hard. n my imagination wants to do more than skeet skeet n shoot. i wanna feel u in my hands as i grip ur curves before we snuggle the fuck up. i have a thing for u i wanna act upon n it hasta to with the all out lusts. coming to life as i temp ur sexual desires to live. why is it u havta be so fuckin cute. u have me saying shit i never wanna admit. though it's u so i don't mind wantin u to take me for a spin. it's as serious as i wanna go down on u for my own pleasure seeking the thrill. n i just may be as crazy as a loon but would u want to be felt any other way? as it's intriguing the way i feel for u. n there's no other that excites me the way u do. it's like magic the way u trigger my intent. as if ur some sorta magician n it's me that's been tricked... giving up the goods n goin all the way in... ssh jus moan n enjoy what it is i havta give...

individual quests...

There's always something better to someone who hasn't found What they're looking for... N this is a manor in which they will treat u accordingly until they are no more... As they'll tell u it's forever but their words only gets them what they want... To feel something asking for a heart in a way that resembles luv... Allowing u to believe in hope that'll last as long as u have life in ur lungs... But the lie will surface in actions as ur system will be flushed... Lacking true content the eyes can only pretend for so long... N that's when the twist reaches in to ring ur heart out once they're gone... Left to face the false presence of a friend that didn't mind doing u dirty... Forced to face the fact that u weren't their one as if u were never worthy... They play games when it isn't them craving to cross over with someone they'd rather not do without... N you'll hate the taste of how it's their name u cannot get outta ur mouth... Disqualifying the feel in the way tone changes like the intent they sworn to keep u safe...  But the pain will fade for the better as u become immune to play with the trade... Finding a chuckle likes a good laugh at the way they've said goodbye... Remembering the best thing was to let go of how they turned around like there life was just fine... As u fight the urge to open up without knowing for sure... But we all need just one to linger into our lives to awaken a more mature version of the adventure... With the mind coming full circle to tell the heart yes or no... It's a necessity to gain self in the makings of a real hope... To share deep secrets n listen to how another's past sounds identical to what shifted within... So thank those who couldn't stay as they were only lookin for the gathering of drips...  Let them have the tears that made u more than what u thought u ever were... Bcuz the one who truly likes u will read between the lines until u are heard. Helping u forget that there's people in this would that chase unknown origins at all costs... There's no need in climbing the walls running from new found so called flaws... Don't doubt yourself for ur happiness isn't depended upon someone who never gave a fuck..  The risks taken will lead u to a better understanding of luv... Finding the eyes in the back of the head getting some rest... We all have our own quest...

amplified belief...

Luv is an exaggeration of emotions amplified by their believer... A twisted version of hope that sidelines a friendship from the free thinkers... Thoughts lose control as emotions perpetrate from the contents within the chest... Enhancing intent to begin relations always claiming to peak at ones best...  In a cycle of events that revolve with spiraling attempts to make just one last... Betraying self n altering who we are for the sake of a chance to gather memories that make up a well earned past... The thumper gets away from itself as it rides each pulse reaching for someone else wanting a lil bit of balance that helps... As one must change inner makings to accompany a so called friend craving to be felt... As tears will eventually fall due to perfect in another's eyes doesn't exist... Just to hear the chatter redefine content leaping from lips... It cannot be trusted if like fails to admit how two people really get along... It's the key to the madness of where we all belong... Fitting in without trying to pretend to be what another wants... Rushing to the scene so sweet depths appear to be deeper than the shallows of an us... The trick as playful as a innocent game said to have no limits... Until one or the other feels cheated n quits... Taking with them a promise of forever seized by resentments rage... Wit the edge of luv cutting into the beginnings of hate... The desire to open up never allows the calm to live as is... For never enough is a moment too be plucked from the rib...

leftovers...

they'll make u out to be desperate when they ain't feelin u the way ur feeling them... knowing damn well it was ur generosity bending backwards as a gent... once ur  vulnerability truly opens up they won't look at u the same way standing in the middle of luv... you'll be too soft for them to ever feel safe as u will be crushed... becoming a bitch in their eyes who's never enough to feed their selfishness... n if you're not careful you'll adapt to a sense of uselessness... as they claiming to want one thing n switch hit in the middle of life... as it's ur own emotions they'll play against u so u never again feel alive... self will never be wanted n will be shunned before ever getting all the way in... as you'll be called crazy when you'd rather not live without them ever again... interest will slack of once self has been bared... forcing the thought of a question as in, did they ever fuckin care.?. as self steps to the line willing to dig in... handing them the shovel so they to can live... to bury what is not natural in any way... just to be rid of the memory of their face... u might as well due to they use u to against yourself... laughing at how they plated u 6 feet down n left u for dead... n if u listen u can hear them change the way they say ur name... just prior to the chaos that redefines ur face... they'll dismiss u if u ever tell them they are the one... you'll be turned into glass to be shattered as ur words are hushed... as the harshly speak on how ur no longer attractive... all bcuz they refused to see the depths on ur passion... accept ur fate was a thing of the past as their eyes turn away... it's ok to have character knowing what u have to gain... eat ur leftovers poison n all... n ignore the shallow childishness that couldn't be real enough to admit their true cause... you'll only feed the belittling that fucks with ur head... keeping u restless in wonder when laying in bed...

every day, n every fuckin night...

my roots need soiled like my heart needs fed...  with the moisture from ur lips bringing life to the thoughts stuck in my head... as my mind could use a different place to rest for a bit... lay with me n feel how for u my heartbeat skips... u see, my depths hasn't fund a guarantee to take flight for some time... n i'm curious to know if we were to be if you'd change my life... can we just bury our intent in a garden n watch it bloom.?. to see what it is to rise for us to consume... like a home that needs a foundation to keep it intact... you're not someone i'm willing to leave in my past... to be forgotten as the details of u become so vague... you're worth more than a memory as i'd like for u to stay... i'd be delighted if we could just pillow talk... bcuz when i'm next to u i feel as if time has paused... i'd water ur emotions n chase away the tide... careful not to drown the luv in ur eyes... we could be our own kinda special that calms the nerves... having a purpose to open up within a single fuckin word... but i'm not trying to convince u to believe in me... i just need a moment of ur time to feel u breathe... to show u i do have what it takes... n it's natural like the expressions upon my face... we all would enjoy an extra addition to ourselves to help us smile... someone other than self that won't go outta style... n i feel u too could use someone to help celebrate ur life... every day, n every fuckin night... bcuz i know how i feel when i close my eyes... chasing u through my dreams as we laugh with a sigh... there's no limits to where we could go... as i come back to reality with a heart full of hope... it is u i wanna sink into at the end of each day... i'm honestly wanting to get use to how it is u say my name... so let's plant some seeds n move with the clouds... become one with the horizons listening to the wilds... we could everything if you'd just give in to me... i'm standing on the outside craving to be seen... for it would be so nice if we were side by side... waking to u ever morning as u simply say, hi... u see, the joy i've been seeking i found in u... just beneath the surface where we can call a truce... trust me when i tell u my heart is not made of steal... it's just been waiting on u to give it a feel... i am in flesh n blood the same as u... n i just wanna hold u so i can feel u move... igniting ur wick so u too can shine... like a candle in the dark witness to what i cannot hide... loosening up to an exhale together as one... individually alive n completely in luv... exposed as the comfort laid up on a sunday morning not wanting to move...  allowing the details to match the flapping n blabbering of lips as u approve... just kiss me once to see if it's real... n if it's felt know that we can finally heal... to be pulled from the loneliness fighting off the cold... just keep ur feet off my back as we slowly grow old...

doubling down...

just listen n watch... observe... for there's more than words to be heard... with actions so smooth movements tells all... n that's when one can tell how shadows connect with the walls... the key is time... the difference between open n shut... n there's never a hurry to rush up on luv... as friends hold the line, waiting on what is to come... with a full clip loading the heart ready to have some fun... n it'll be pop pop with another one gone if hesitations fail to perform... just bluh is the falling of the feel if what u feel isn't in perfect form... as trying has no end for it has no true intent... it's just not natural to force what's real upon the lips.. it may not taste the way u thought it would... getting close enough to untold truths hidden beneath the tongue they way they never should... for when it's sink or swim n hope is at the mercy of demands... bubbles rising to the surface is usually the evident outcome when sinking with commands... for life in certain cases just isn't fair... with the head on a swivel peeking around listening to expressions gasping for air... notice the transformations of comforts as letters align... as if u were to let the wrong one in, you'll lose ur fuckin mind... emotion cannot wait so u must tame the beast... control the source n cleanse the knees... passion isn't as free as sex no matter how great it is... although u truly havta play to live... n from afar with so many trying to get close, hormones will be the only thing to that need not be groped... so witness the visual display of how the eyes connect... it's the stare that soothes every inch within the chest... so easy does it when a stranger is yet to be known... weighing out options to what's truly being shown... watching limits cross boundaries n going lengths with thoughts... left right left is the chant as the soldier within who knows that the war can be raw... as it's ok to leave the chaos standing still if the offering isn't real... mindsets do not play fair when it's turning inward to fight self afraid to feel... feeling lost is due to another attempting to hide their flaws... causing self to entertaining the thought of feeling so small... as truths only reason with  honesty when barriers come down... n the freedom to be is fluent with the silence that never makes a sound... it's needs before wants stepping aside... refuse to be blind for it's the comfort that depends on sight... as motion contains the flow of purity never to stray... moving in rhythm to sync with the ability to stay... what's seen never lies... n red flags wave in the winds of time... caution walks lightly for a reason n that's no doubt... even though desires beg, plead n pout... as endless wars are never enough to a gluten wanting it all... for they wonder why inner making take their time to unthaw... as their back burner is over flowing onto the floor... the game is as empty as the rotting of the core... n there is different versions of worth when patience is at stake... it all depends on who actually steps to the plate... vulnerability gives a weakness to strength when adapting to the twist... as bad habits aren't as hard to break if one realizes who has what to give... to live is to absorb the luv in true form... for we cannot luv self the way another can to become their norm...

for the best...

it's like i'm always looking out for someone else as i'm sitting still with my heart in my hands... is it they aren't truly felt or is it they're being released form what i cannot entertain? telling them there's someone better other than me that will come along n open them up n never steer them wrong... n it's bcuz i truly believe i ain't no one to ever be missed... i'm just an after thought that follows a dream that somehow touches their lips... n yet i care so i set them free... due to the shallowness of i cannot be anything but simple ol me... n even though they say they wouldn't expect anything else... n anything less of me is emotions going stealth... it seems i sit on the edge to draw them near just to push them over into another arms... but i don't wanna hurt anyone for i know that endless ache that plagues the heart... i'm just a middle man as they're on their way to a better life... as they stopped randomly to take a peek at what's in my mind... n i see their curiosity stare at me with a smile... n feel the physical reality of how i drive their bodies wild... but yet the truth of the matter is i'll never be their ever lasting thought... as i save them from themselves as my own feelings are never carelessly tossed... never to reach for them in any other way other than the way luv'rs touch... as my tongue never twiddles with the passions of luv... for i'm no more than in the moment one step closer to being on the run... n every time i release someone i feel i've done a good deed... helping them with scuffle of the movement of their feet... onward they go just to leave me behind... n it's okay due to i've gotten used to this version of my life... maybe it's me i just don't believe in anymore... or is it, relations jsut reminds me of having chores... bcuz if the games ever started i know i'd win... n i don't wanna caused no pain as i'm happy to be the has been... the once upon a time ago that sits alone in the dark... bringing out their inner beauty n not trying to confuse their hearts... damn the honesty that cannot wait to speak... i force them away so they'll never feel me leave... at least they'll be gone before the emptiness has a change to settle in...  n if possible maybe we can still remain friends... as i don't mind being someone to pluck for truths... as long as they don't look at me for a deeper use... the torture wouldn't be fair if everything went south... bcuz being returned to the silence is worse than anything that could ever leap from thy mouth... for i'd walk away before things ever turned raw... so i spare them the hatred n the anger as they'll never be stuck in a pause... it's just me n the way i am n i do not know why... there's just something in the way to them, i cannot lie... i just am what i am n no one will ever get in... as i cannot comprehend in which way i must live... by showing them i'm not what they're looking for, i'm a mere curiosity trapped within the image of a whore... i'm just easy on the eyes that stirs up intent... as words find my presence to be someone that attracts regrets... like i'm out n about with so many options to say the least... all with the factor of my choice of who i want to tame the beast... i let them believe these things they concoct in their heads... it makes it easier to give space to what's inevitable after everything is said... as i tell no tales for i have nothing to hide... i'm simply not worth their fuckin time...

no joke...

once you provoke me to entertain others for a laugh, imma tell you all about yourself right before i leave you in my past... i don't do well with half hearted smiles that are aimed specifically at me... as if i ain't someone you feel you need to protect you can finds someone else to fulfill your dreams... you can skip rocks until they sink like your own thoughts of me... for it's a reality i seek here in the now. n i don't deserve to be on the other end as a sideshow bcuz you believe i'm just another clown... imma sow you for so long of what you mean to me... and it's on you to act accordingly... and if you slip up thinking you're cute with a chuckle at my expense, imma leave... for it's friend first as luv doesn't exist if there's no compassion said to be free... i'm worth more than you trumping me as if you're a joker in a deck of cards... expecting me to sit still and deal with the confusion stirring up in my heart... this is my life where the real shit speaks so loud... n the bs you're on will eventually have your smile turned upside down... you'll be left for dead the moment you came to the conclusion of me being your fuckin fool... all bcuz of in front of others you thought you were cool... so if you're gonna wrap me up in your arms please don't claw at my back... my skin is not to be removed if it's character you lack... adjust yourself to the claim of me if i am to remain all that's good in you eyes... as you stare upon me making damn sure they never cry... or you'll find the little hope you have doesn't float nor does it have a bubble wanting to breathe when beneath the surface of not playing fair... and i will not be set out on display when you break down n forget not to care... when you're just having a good ol time at my expense, i need not take to same energy to come at my own defense... if you do not shield me from harm through even a verbal escape... please, do me a solid and never again speak my name...

if you...

if you could just save me from my face resting in my own hands. n make it to the point for me to look up and see my biggest fan. if you could just hush the voices that tell me that everything has an end. and just softly whisper in my ear something sweet like a special kind of friend. if you could just revive me so i too can feel alive. settling the chaos no one knows that's taken control of my mind. if you would somehow get me to believe in you. opening me up to find i do wan to be put to good use. if you could help witness you in me as i look in the mirror. noticing the changes for the better in which i need not fear. i you could would you just make me feel safe? without demanding to own my heart that needs not be tamed. if you could feel me without ever touching my skin. to loosen me up to the gentleness of your bliss. if your words could just find me laying low in the bs i've come to know. could you guarantee me i'll never again be alone? n if you would pulled me from my own useless slump. to find a way to accept the fact that i have never been truly luv'd. if you could just give me one reason that makes sense without the eventual hurtfulness of hate. maybe my walls could come crumbling down as this world for me would be a different place. 

forced silence...

i told myself i'd never cry for another due to i do not feel anyone is real. n yet here i stand on the backend of another moment getting away from how i truly feel. as i watch the flames torch the bridge upon the surface of water as if it were a mirror resurrecting the night. knowing i have it in me to swim across to the other side attempting to save my mind. but what doe one do when the complications strip the heart of a near perfect fit? without a gesture to show worth so intent can fade with the interests allowing another to somehow live. as walking away is the answer to holding in every bit of emotion clawing at the inner lining of the of the back of the face. i can hear myself coming from the depths in which crawl through my mind n taunt as true remains. as just one hint of truth could change the void before it begins. as the silence sitting upon the tongue is as still as the moon above that has it's own unique light to give. what does one do if there is a presence that is to be missed? damn near forcing them to go on with their life so they can at least enjoy one more last first kiss. as they're able to fulfill the linger in another for it is best. or is it self's way to come up with another excuse so self doesn't havta invest in what's buried in the chest? looking like a fool just past the moment where everything good abruptly came to a dead end. as the idiot within just set free the makings of one damn good friend. i told myself  luv will never matter bcuz i simply got tired of trying. n it's the questions that are truly frustrated with me continuously lying. a deeper calm is restless to have what it fucking wants. for it is my own self destruction refusing to be hushed. 

Ways...

Maybe i should learn how to luv u the way ur unique design needs to be fulfilled... Just get to know the details that make u click so life can flow in between us creating the thrill... I believe there's a change in the wind to step to the expectations that will complete u... It seems i have the opportunity in ur eyes as they're waitin with patience for me to make my move... All games aside it's dawned on me that I'm not the only one who has a nerve... N I'm not trying to pluck urs, I'm simply trying to touch it to see how it is we coexist with worth... As I've taken notice to the other side of interest like an outter body experience for the better good... N to get in sync with the feel of ur depths reaching for me could entice our mood... Switching impositions to for once play fair so smiles can live within their own natural curve... As the consideration of us is roaming through my mind in ways ur silence has been heard... Sending a surge of thoughts from another angle that's corrected the selfishness that i hide... It seems you've gotten past the wall to creep up on me when I'm alone at night... I'm gonna havta feed ur in particular craves that just want what's best for all it is u are... I must realize we're one in the same n give back to the willingness to acknowledge the reincarnation of the heart... Seeing things in a different truth as if i were u n u were i... N it's this comprehension that flipped my mindset to rotate 360 degrees n tell no lies... The monster within agreed to ease up n carress ur flaws so u too can open up... Showing u that u matter in the same sense if likes are to ever transform into luv... We all have our own tweaks that comfort specific secrets not just anyone is shown... N I'm witness to u attempting to come out n be with me so neither of us will ever be alone... As i appreciate ur distinctive quirky intutions seeking where it is u truly belong... N if we're honest about it all there's a possibility we could never go wrong... But it's gonna take a moment to understand the level of friendship that stands before us... Just taking our time to snuggle up to new ways that have a reason to trust... To accept it ain't just about self... That is if we actually do wanna be felt...

i.k.e & o.v.e.

there's a twinkle in her eyes that reminds me of diamonds n it makes me rich. as her adorable hissy fits are like temper tantrums i cannot help but to kiss. she's my ease n frustrations wrapped up all in one.me sanity is in her hands helping me to come undone. the secret to  n she knows she's the individual i'd rather no go without. n even though she has this advantage she never allows stupid shit slip outta her mouth. n her tongue is pleasant as my ears cannot wait to hear what she hasta say. for when her vibe touches me i find myself relaxed to the point where i truly feel safe. she's a friend when she doesn't havta be n fierce asf when she knows she's right. she's the missing pieces of me that balances out my own unique state of mind. n what she isn't to others she's everything to me. as she's came along to guide n give a focus to all my scattered dreams. n all she ever waited to see is to find out who i truly am. n for her patience, beside her is where i take my stand. bcuz i know she feels me every time she smiles. n she never hasta exert herself to awaken my inner child. i'm living the good life every time she rambles on those three lil words. although the third one ends in i.k.e for she knows my worth. even though her emotions over process at times as i become the sponge to her passions as the one person to settle her nerves. she also absorbs me in the same sense knowing i too can be heard. as our mentality mesh in a weave bringing out a twisted sense of humor. she's the female version of me in which is more than just a rumor. she's my mornings when i don't wanna get outta bed. my release when i feel trapped inside my head. there's just things about her that need not be explained. bcuz she understands i can comprehend every expression that moves her face. n just like water carving its way though earth using time. she's touched my heart in the same sense making sure from her i cannot hide. as she's the detail in my life that sets me free. bcuz she's the difference between wants n needs. as smooth as a player without the games. there's just something about how we say each others name. i have it all when i have her in my arms. with her cheek buried in my chest leaving her mark. n i swear she sinks inside of me every time she holds on. clinging to the pure purpose of o.v.e. living as the real norm. as she has the attention she seeks for she knows we do more than exist. as we coexist we are limitless n apart we will be forever missed. n when she fades into her silence that's my chance to life her up. n when in mine she never misses a beat to create a lil fun. it's the stare she gives that speaks without a sound taming her lips. to the lights goin dim with the flip of a switch. she's just something out there that's gotten person in which i thought i'd never meet. so as i fall asleep tonight trying to get back to her, please don't awaken me.

The first to go...

Will it be you or will it be yours truly falling away from untamed grins? To lose the fire that lights up the dark within. Moving emotions to the feel of having them close... How long is it gonna take to forget softer tones? The butterflies the get lost in the wind just wanting to live. Even after promises reach in n convince self of a certain set of lips. Tasting breaths easing from sighs as belief stands still. Who do you think it'll be to fold first? Unable to continue setting the other at their honesty worst. When the coarse of actions force the parting of hearts deprived. With every thought of, damn, there's no way to help luv make it out alive. Stepping to the edge of passionate suicide that awaits a new story to begin. Looking down as the leap tilts the head higher than the sky can reach the twist. Free in a different kinda sense so the chaos ends the fiasco's blame. Who's tongue will move to the sound where limits need not go? Changing everything in a home headed straight for nights spent alone. As the head shakes for a while until all the nonsense loses its grip. Placing another stranger back into the unknown origins of never to be missed. Are you gonna be the one who defines your version of what remains must be or else? Leading the way across the line of never to return to what was once felt. Loosening the norm for nerves to settle on there's hasta be something better to come along. When the attachments fade like tears that cannot hear those favorite songs. When the day comes to face music written for someone else to listen too. Would you like to see the gigs times hanged nude. Left out for the world to see every bit of what others truly don't need to know? Or will it be you that holds your ground until there is nothing to show?