the hidden version...

hiding truths beneath smiles...

telling self the humor is more than worthwhile...

knowing the facts show in mirrors when crossed...

damn reflection twists me every time i pause...

cutting me with the edge of my escape...
bleeding inward as grins drift upon my face...
knowing there's something deeper no one can see...
a different version of me...
beneath the surface of the goof...
as silent as time on the move...
lost n not knowing what it is i need to evolve...
yet i've found who it is i am as a problem solved...
holding on to worth in thoughts fading...
keeping on the hush of the emotions waiting...
ready for the next phase to begin so i know where i belong...
to step away from my own twin staring back for so long...
when even glass n the topside of waters show my expressions...
with the turning of eyes needing a different visual other than depression...
these walls haven't a memory hung...
bare for a reason that awaits the capture of life on the run...
somewhere other than here wasting me away...
turning off light so my shadow cannot catch my escape...
forgetting what it's like to be felt...
even though the healing of pain has made me become self...
i still reside alone n in the dark hoping not to be seen...
i can't seem to get used to the solitude's version of free...
it's displayed as a joy when others catch a glimpse...
knowing damn well my heart has shut down any attempt to live...
stuck in a world where the stillness echos from room to room...
yeah, i crave something new...

in a moment to wonder...

what do u look like so i know who to turn to... say something... that way i can listen to the comfort i've never known...  i only want on thing... n that's jus what i'm willing to give... yet i don't know which way to go to cross ur path... u could be right in front of me n i wouldn't see u... touch me so i can feel u laugh... free me from this wonder on my mind... lift the creation my smile forms as my eyes rest upon ur face... for once i'd like to figure out what a true piece of mind is... jus say my fuckin name... witness the spark that ignites everything i've held on to... waiting for the moment to express the hidden dreams... held closer than my own heart damn near seizing up... i jus wanna reach for u as my hands are able to grasp ur life finally willing to breathe... as these are things i imagine ur talking to yourself about... somewhat lost on an emotional level tucked deep in the mind... kept safe from the others posing to be me... be my reasons of why... luv won't cost u a thing other than to jus live... but ur gonna havta come from the sea of pretenders that cater to their own selfish ways... jus step from the outta the spotlight n lemme fall in to u... we can move untamed by time n get after what we've longed to gain... finding the silent nights n days lengths the purpose of thoughts here in reality... caring n maturing for the endless keep of passions hope... i jus need to smell ur scent n lay sights upon ur loving ways... my luv, i'm looking to eventually come home...

let's hear it...

tell me so i don't havta guess... who am i ur wanting me to be before i get to opening up to giving my best.?.  my chest ain't for the emptiness of endings prior to what there is to gain... games aren't a fascination i like to daydream of when lighting the mood of flames... friends or foes is the now of speaking on what the fuck is goin on... tapping into how i'm supposed to react to the way ur eyes stare at me wanting to make a self made porn... what am i to someone like u jus past the curiosities thrill of attraction.?. tell it the way ur tongue curves to the desire of my name slipping from it's tip as ur words leap into thin air wanting the need of satisfaction... is it a more emotion high u wish to advance as the gentle strokes of fingertips flow on the edges along the bodies shape triggering grins.?. falling deep into the jungle of luv's restless crave to cater to the feeling of giving in.?. am i even considered to be friend that is to be by ur side in time to come still laughing for u are in my life the way you'd remain in the same mindset when u think of me.?. what is it u feel when u think of me as u sigh as u breathe.?. speak freely n express the content in which is chewed on in ur silence that has of yet not come forth n be known... how does the likeliness of hidden intent tempt ur lips when behind doors kissed that are only dreamt of causing ripples upon the hearts shore lines never shown.?. i'll listen if u have something to say... without my babbling until the precise moment it takes to spill truths from my end of being driven insane... watching from a far as u do ur thing as i feel the vibe... only if u knew i could have use for u in my life...

jus cum...

Unwilling to feel any emotion for a while due to other renovations that felt good enough to live free... With a muted tongue of the topic of discussion talking about relations the if not thought through will leave... There's this crave to need n want to do things on a friendly gesture jus for the shits n giggles of doing something with an other enjoyed... Unreal is the desires n thoughts time alone creates to have of the sexual satisfaction given beneath dreams that cater to the endless void... As restraints to being submissive is the satisfaction of doin as one is told... Eaten n licked n pleased as daddies lil toy moving upon the bed with the sensitivities of desires that bring to life the fantasies on a roll... Used... taken advantage of is the visual that fucks with sweet spots craving the usefulness of friends coming undone behind closed doors acting out the pleasure of the truce... Pure sexuality pushing limits to the edge of no return so depths are known listening to the woo's... As ahhs haven't an end to the different ways nerves will run from the touch felt to escape... Letting loose n capturing the freedom to be self for once remembering the features changing in the middle of orgasms teased until the shake lives to be tamed...

The wait...

Jus wanting to know someone before the emotion forces control is the only way to remember someone after the fact of how luv forgot about like once it's gone too far... When one is jus needing to see an other in rare form where friends are made without the chasing of passion in depths that eventually drown smiles in the bitter heart... The rush is unnecessary if use is to be found laying about in arms willing to wrap worth up for a lifetime of joy... As the mind must have control n only allow real individuals to partake in a happiness created to be lived n remembered that fills the ultimate void... As ends ain't to soon for comforts to settle prior to the attempt to extract reason with a choke hold gasping for air repeating what the fuck.!. There's a potential feeling only if real resists the fluctuations of desires for jus long enough so a new face doesn't fade away after rolling around with the shallows of unforgettable lusts... Life craves to attach yet it's within the mental comprehension that doesn't lie for to have the linger of a body closer than trust can earn its keep... Touched in a different kinda way to fill the empty space in thoughts that wonder of getting along as no ones willing to leave... Shapes are more than images brought about by movements of silhouettes gaining features from shadows claimed by nights listening to whispers on pillow tops... The skin tingles with shivers when use crosses the eyes witness to a rare one looking back as stares lock in a pause as a friendship has the makings of what makes characters not playing roles pop... Standing out in the middle of nowhere or in a room with or without others as the connection is between two motions so deep is the display there is no return... Jus waiting on that maturity to surface upon expression that never breaks intent with the vulgarity of useless words...

coming back into focus...

when ur sitting still n u remember who u were before the pain touch u without ur permission... oh the smile lifts spirits in ways time stands still to relate n compare to the differences that rounded off in the makings of divisions... combining the two for it is needed to evolve properly as the old still remains n is missed.. yet with a lil twist of new correction to add to the chemistry that makes the feel hahaing in the ribs... as the memory lets loose for truths of how the transformation occurred in the first place... the acceptance is unreal knowing lesson learned was worth the evolving of the mind to telling the heart a better feel is upon the wait... as chuckles ripple through the loosening of the drift for the memory to play in the reels to conduct what is to come.... losing the after effects of lusts chased to become a friend worth the grasp one day to truly fall in luv... when coming back into focus there's a happiness that overcomes the distance within that closes the gap... no more wonder n not a fuckin to worry of can somehow find a way to outlast the rush of the laugh... there are no words to describe to result of trial n error that took forever to overcome... as one with a smile so fuckin alive time gets jealous of the display rounding out as self's true one.!.

in the truck bed..

grab a bottle of what u like to drink n let's find a place where no one goes... lay down the tailgate n climb on in... rest with me on an air mattress lookin up at the stars... far from this place of chaos where the silence creates our grins... toast with me n feel the moment as friends wanting the night to last... we can stay out all night n pretend the world doesn't exist... chuckling with a laugh or gabbing at the gums of what's been on ur mind... i jus want a lil of ur time to get to know u one on one without all the twists... we can do shots or taste a bit of wine if that's what ur into... jus get comfy n trust i ain't for the fuckery of pain that splits the lip... i got the pillows if u got that smile i like so much... jus point it at me n watch how my face lights up as we live... on our own getaway to feel sane for a brief short while... in the back of my truck wasting time like it cannot catch us in the middle of a kiss... curled up on me we could get lost way out somewhere no one knows where we come from... jus u n i needing each other for a memory saved never to be missed... so whata u say if i full it up n we went on down the road to enjoy ourselves.?. we could even sip it from the bottle right before the mornings sun peeks over the horizon's tip...

would u let me in.?.

Would it make any difference if I told u I knew what I was doing when in luv.?. Looking u in the eyes to show u the more reasonable side falling into my crush... Letting u in past the goofiness that creates a smile stretched across ur pretty face... As the thought wonders of why in the fuck ur drawn to someone like me as the night fades... Would it change a fuckin thing if truths rose to the surface on my intent for u.?. unwilling to move until what it is I am interacts with ur every move... Swaying to the vibe let loose to live in hands holding on... Allowing u to witness me in which u can relate to deciding if u want more... Would it be possible for u to care the way u say u do if I wasn't scared.?. Making sense of why I've waited to come from within to be bared... Removing the seams to the side to reach in n dabble in the makings of what sets u free... Being the only thing I know how to be coming for ur willingness to simply be... Would u believe me if words touched ur lips in a sigh aiming for ur heart.?. Knowing I havta go through ur mind to land so sensibly to leave my unforgettable mark... Wanting be a friend behind the scenes where character opens up to the lil things... So when we're on display before others u haven't a single fuckin worry to dream... Would u let me in once you've seen what I've hidden from the rest of this world.?. Correcting myself to have a chance at worth in ur eyes fixed on me as depths uncurl...

imaginary thrones...

people hate something about others yet don't want no one hating them... i jus wish the world would grow the fuck up n live... hypocrites... fake... pretending to be gems... calling others names... smiling in faces in which they have two... one for those like them n then there's the front when away from everything they've known... it be nice if people could see differences as the beauty of who we are... instead there's judgement's that linger playing parts... roles to be what they're suppose to be by the standards of others claiming no one cares what anyone thinks... even racial tensions of classifications are fed into when living jus needs to take place yet it's jus a dream... be like me or fuck u... i don't wanna be like u... n when someone crosses limits they're shunned bcuz of pigmentation's that separate the weak minded... the none thinkers without a natural sense of reason as they're jus roaming around blinded... allowing self to become stereotypes n hateful towards other humans when the system has us all... i'll take to real individuals that do not like their minds fucked raw... as it's birds to the drama based bs most feel the need to force onto others who don't live the way they do... n it's every walk of life that cannot accept the greatest thing ever as we're all here together on the move... adding to the confusion is not attractive but it is what's been in for quite some yrs... talking like everyone else n hiding within a disturbed state of mind that creates fear... acting out n downing what they do not know... it's jus another act of ignorance on display to become better than who wearing imaginary thrones.?.

things to do...

choices linger with thoughts of which way to go... never being truly free is a reality of becoming a thing trying not to feel so alone... thinking of ways of what to do to keep self busy as life changes into wants from needs... unwilling to go to waste n having memories never made compiled into drawn out made up dreams... seems frightening when the mind grasps to loneliness one can fall into... resulting in a comfort unable to relate to relations that never move with moods... yet to decide how to spend unused time is the creativity to seek... feeling content in where life goes on the horizon's freed... to venture out or find something close enough to enjoy moments on the loose... nothing waits to come alive as decisions make plans to intrude... switching up what was to what can finally be with eyes touching sights of what's never been... listening to voices carry suggestion through the winds distance with a grin...  one has waited so long to branch out to see what this world has to offer before it's gone... allowing the heart to find contentment in locations giving new breathes of fresh air from dusks til dawns...

a more satisfying way...

forth coming from what's never said... wanting to get close is the emotions in bed... listening to thoughts crawl through the mind... what of a friend that jus wants to spend some time.?. someone to do things with that doesn't force relations... to enjoy a lil piece of what been missing in life's endless situations... not having the need or obligations to talk everyday... on a n adventure with an other willing to find new places to be tamed... creating memories without the complications of forced interactions... living in a much simpler mindset that allows a better sense of satisfaction... needing no rush to ruin what is to be further on down the road... when worth of a real attachment will some day lead home... as the building of a friendship is the peace that lingers with laughter... writing a rare book where the readers get sucked into every chapter... visualizing the purpose of what alive means to the comforts jus going with the flow... doing whatever comes to be on journeys lived in the makings of not having to be totally alone... on a quest to get away with the feel of each breath taken into consideration... not having to deal with relations on other levels gaining one of the two as the administration... simply free is the concept sought out so the smiles rises to mornings awaiting use... finding different scenery's to be the soothe of the motion as eyes slowly move... to hear tongues speaking on where passion is to travel instead of engulfed in metaphorical flames... there is a more satisfying way where pleasure exist beyond staring at an others face...

jus wanting to know...

before this show is over do u think it be okay to settle in my eyes.?.

to feel me in a way i've hidden what i have to give waiting on u to come into me life...

is it possible to entertain more than the thought of jus wanting what u cannot have.?.

as u live in u r own with the crossing of u n i on our own paths...

there's thing i haven't felt in some time n i believe i could ease into u rather nicely...

to see how we respond to the activity on all levels as heartbeats rush rapidly...

enlightening the mind of something much different as it's a friend to be made...

if i opened up to show u what it is i kept to myself for the sake of untamed...

could i slide up next to u n find my place as if we were attached.?.

in more than a single moment to repeat everyday as a fresh breath is matched...

prior to going without for a lifetime...

loosening to an answer so vibrant reality begins to shine...

what would be ur take on leaning in to feel the way i wrap my arms around u.?.

diggin in beneath the texture others jus wanna touch to fill their sexuality...

landing in depths where truths can be as real as a witness falling for ur individuality...

in a space shared no other can reach for us to blossom with the planting of new roots...

finally giving in to the pleasures missed as no limits create the perfect mood...

brushing off the rusted edges from staying to self for so long...

am i enough in ur eyes to accept as a partner to get on with the purpose of relations writing our own song.?.

the need to know is a matter of not wanting to pass u by...

i'd hate to reconsider who it is that turns me on in more ways than what attractions can trigger the comfort u give to my mind... 

friends like no other...

to speak of luv is to find a friend in which self can trust...

loosening the heart so likes can feel more than the rush...

as backs turn to not needing to worry of what goes on...

in plain sight proving words meant in true form is a norm....

as one with an other in moments that find harmony's flow...

able to communicate no matter the issue in a lil place called home...

awakening to the same face one jus could never get tired of seeing...

happy as fuck jus to be so close to them while they're still breathing...

to talk of emotion there's a certain mentality that makes it real...

willing to relate for no two are the same individuals in the way they feel...

yet the meet n greet in the middle of life tells a tale in the makings...

as vibes send tremors through the chest as pounds ripple with the shaking...

in an undeniable state of knowing who the mind needs to enjoy its peace...

never to say no if it is to benefit the outcome of being free...

Eyes that talk...

To look into ur eyes n see the comfort would be so nice... knowing if I jus be me you'd not resist what neither of us could ever hide... it's the way touch moves with a care that seeks the nerves... n how the act in itself is worth more than words... to feel u without the over emotional childish bs feedbacks claim is ok... it's be yourself fire a lifetime n call out only ur name... jus to have a true friend for once that relates mentally face to face... bringing out the tare firm of individuals wanting to play everyday... chasing laughter through rooms where echos smile... together making moments for us to create our own style... having a unite kinda connecting so hard to find... simply eating the tension that has clogged the mind... all with a stare that speaks without ever making a sound... on a mature level of hope giving in to the wow... listening in the silent moments as breathes cater to the vibe... felt upon lips would be the reason to join lives to remember the design on our eyes... laying in arms at night that captures thoughts of becoming us... in tuned with the liking of the fact that we get to fall in luv... getting lost in the colors that give sight that tingling joy... renewing desires to be released to fill what was a drawn out void... as believing is seeing that raw glimpse that sticks to interstate out in the open... lifting spirits to gain a more pleasurable way side by side as candles wicks from our flame is smoking... causing movements to accept how shedding light on how we witness the inability to turn away... causing our silhouettes to dance with our shadows fir we've found what makes us feel safe... 

With no one around...

Thoughts run away with the heart with comfort on the mind...

Thinking doesn't do any good when emotion awakens life...

Time gets lost with images contributing to the feel hidden outta sight...

Motions slows to a halt when visions take control of the nights...

Jus watching the display that isn't hearing the ease of sighs...

Eyes follow the magic crossing memories to what could possibly try...

As loosening to the mood always hurts the most when alone...

Drifting so fat away from reality wanting a new definition of home...

From the touch to the presence the imagination roams...

Insisting on listening to a different kinda uniqueness in tones...

More than the silence in the dark found ever create moans...

With the gathering of what to look for to be shown...

Right before lala land catches dreams thought up to be moans...
Needing the morning to hold off long enough to give in...
Jus trying to understand the concept of single within...
Bcuz free has two meanings once the temptations wanna live...
Having passion in the reserve tucked away from the tingle in the ribs...
Front dawn past midnight to dusk's movement there's something to give...
As going without tends to play hide n seek with what evolves with grins...

my world behind the scenes...

it ain't easy but i'm willing to do it on my own...

i've tried to have someone in my life to get ot where rainbows drapped over pots of gold...

but i sit n wear myself down trying to put back together the neglect of belief in others...

i don't cry no more bcuz i know i got this in time when things see the better of efforts without a luv'r...

work has taken over my life yet i've lived n seen n had enough snatch to last...

it's the emotion i spent that withdrew from the feel of the heart remembering the past...

all or nothing fell to my knees losing it all...

letting go of the one thing i wanted so life could do more than dream of jabbering jaws...

n i see what attracts me as i shy away from the flirting due to i get scared...

i don't need any complications with the time i've given up to repair my gain...

n as nights come n go i tell myself luv may not like who i've become...

having to look after me wanting a like instead of an emotional thought on the run...

i live in a isolated that of mind where it's safe to put the pieces back together again...

as my truths are hidden behind my humor to protect my livelihood jus wanting to put my toes in the sand...

i jus got tired of losing friends to substances that took from me the joy i once had...

i was a stranger to self n it hurt in ways homeless dug deeper than life could ever spit facts...

n all i ever wanted was to awaken to a smile used to discribe what i meant to someone in luv with me...

so fuck it as i spill truths on what has settled within me as i breathe...

i gave up on relations when there was no one around to comfort the loneliness as i had to fight on my own...

feeling the chill in the bed when i move jus reminds me of the way others failed to live up to words that roamed...

as lookin in mirrors corrected the mind as i now hear i should give someone a chance...

but they weren't there when i slept in my vehicles battling to come back to the dance...

giving more than they ever had at any giving point in their own lives...

yet i still feel the need  to be touched on the hush of what they may be afraid to find...

i needed a friend n i found me bcuz that's all there was when i opened my eyes every fuckin day...

it changed me as i do not think like others even more as i find it hard to relate...

watching how everyone claims to struggle with a roof over their heads...

judged by even family like i was too far gone to ever surface was the kicker that did the deed...

they should've known better as lips slipped to the weakness in themselves that spoke too soon...

failing to realize all i ever did was believe in luv n it was that one thing that twisted my mood...

fighting through depression with a smile for my kids were the main reason i fought to regain control...

n lookie lookie as i've shed those who's tongues talked of me not having a home...

i tried to have what i see so many enjoy in an other's expressions getting it in...

as it wasn't only me that suffered when i decided to better life n it didn't go as planned...

the backfire took it all as if it wasn't for my three i didn't wanna wake continue to go on...

but look how the tides have washed off the shores so this thing we live can accept a wher it is i'm goin...

to the unknown as empty as as laughter can get others to crack a smile being labeled a woman hater to resembling an azzhole...

as it's all good bcuz what they don't see what it is i had to overcome to see my babies smiles stretch on their faces as happiness couldn't help bur to grow...

to quick for true comfort...

being felt in the heart isn't good enough..

it tends to become pure emotion that gets outta control n falls from luv...

catering to the rush alone will break the mind down...

wondering wtf when the mental likes isn't found...

going on straight passion ain't worth the fight...

maturities transform into frustrations when wants overpower the needs of life...

force tugs on willingness when friends aren't seen as comforts easing along...

pretending to know as believing is not the same as being witness to what goes wrong...

foolish attempts to extract worth too soon distracts the reasons find...

feeling the twist of an other's words turn relations inside out...

all due to they demand a determination of the lack there of as an interest is claimed to be not found...

silly lil games to receive what hasn't been earned is the end coming on...

made to endure a false sense of neglect bcuz the now is to be given at all costs so sensitivities can be worn...

as the face changes in eyes staring in wonder of why the tenderness jus doesn't wanna play...

there's nothing worse than moving too fast as grounds of who people are jus cannot remain the same...

allowing expression to be given in their own time as depths are truly shown...

yet the repeat of gimme or else fades with the attractiveness of relating on another level where self doesn't havta be alone...

folks dive in n refuse to evolve once the spill of expectations come up short...

always looking for anyone to open up raw incisions to let them do as they please doing more damage in the core...

strangers cling quicker than truths can determine what's what...

missing the target chasing the waves that swoosh with the sounds of lusts...

filling the void...

i heard her say we could get along if u let it be what it could become...

but the impatience of emotion was too much for i didn't know enough to fall immediately in luv...

n i liked her something special if time was taken to get to know me instead of chasing the feel...

n it only took her two days after me telling her i gotta let go as there was someone else claiming it's real...

i've hadn't met someone on levels in which we clicked as the similarities were on point...

jus sad it had to come to an end as anyone would've done to fill her need to be felt to complete the void...

i wasn't looking foe a damn thing n wanted to make her a friend to see where shit went...

then like everyone else she assumed i was like other to jus give in without knowing what made us from where we've been...

as the wait to see who comes along to comprehend a more mature type of trust is to be...

jus living n wondering if her qualities could be possessed by an more mental understanding to get to the crossroads of bringing life from dreams...

never forced to leap into hoping it won't hurt in the end that seem to come ever too fuckin soon...

drifting on the thoughts of why in the fuck relations don't last past the rush the stalls when likes are not found n cut loose...

she said i was afraid of luv when i feared the way her type clings to jus having someone close...

chasing the pieces of herself in an other willing to give what it's worth for as long as they do not wanna be alone...

as my point was proven the moment i seen how easy it was to consider a different face as the attachment began...

i'm jus glad i held out for the better cause that never took place due to the insistence of gimme now or i'll move on to replace every other man...

Nothing happens overnight...

Please don't touch my heart without sitting with me in my mind... I've had one too many claim to be a friend that lost the friendship misplaced in time... touch only goes skin deep as the lusts crave vanity stared n gazed upon... for the deeper the dig you'll find how to get to know the way likes turn into luv... as worth is not given to the emotional presence of demand at first sight... realizing attractions come in many twists once beneath the texture coming to life... ease in n see who it is the smile hides for there is more to the story as u jus may relate... a luv'r would be nice yet basic isn't the feel expressed in the desires changing my face... talk n hear me speak to reason with the differences that show individuality as I don't jus deal with the same ol bs... this one has evolved n ain't on the typical standpoint of genders playing parts as lips crave to be kissed... comfort is a cherished feel I need not disturbed by passerbyers... I'm not hanging me out for jus anyone like I'm missing on the posting of a flyer... so come as u are n lemme witness the weirdness u possess... n jus maybe if things go well there will be a moment to think to intrigue interests... moving to the flow of a lil passion as long as truths are known... if imma do the unthinkable ur gonna havta step to me like ur full grown...

therapeutic...

it's the feeling of losing it all is what gives the single life a different sense of free... falling is the easy part until one too many times has escaped with the hearts need...

as thoughts get used to the feel of long nights that shorten as self creates a new luv... it ain't the emotion gained, it's the loss of a friend near the end of the lack of trust... forgetting the reason of relations within a friendship claiming to be rare to the touch...

it's how time changes facial expression if the process is to skip straight to the rush... as the norm is on a isolated journey trying to get far away from the daydreams... slowly regaining sleep as days turn into the fight of correcting worth busted at the seams...

it's the tears n the way they slide down the cheek that turns of desires for a while... loosening the play in the direction of what truly chuckles in the purpose of the smile...

no one wants to continue to die inside jus to come back even more bitter than before... it's the concept of one day it'll be over n being alone strikes fear from thoughts as an emotional whore...

thinking fuck the goofiness of chasing characters who do not know who they are... the removal of self from the turn about of pain is therapeutic to the shadows feeling the sun's char... it's better not to hate someone that's gotten close to the eventual tare as parting ways confuses the mind... as comfort resides in the teeter of keeping it friendly so no harsh words ever replace sighs...

freedom switches lanes in the recovery of emotional tenderness that speak in empty rooms... unable to hear the inevitable due to solo is the sound bouncing off mirrors that shows every fuckin mood...

it's in the hiding place tucked in the tongues drift from time to time that winds up hurting the most...

counting on self to have hope in the foundation it takes to build a home...

as patience runs outta the flickering flame imagined to be the ease of what's at a loss... stuck in a mental stability of overthinking terms that define motionless wonders in a pause...

it's the misfortune of bypassing perfect strangers knowing they feel the same exact way... as a break is needed to truly heal to leave the past buried with its remains...

a walking nightmare...

afraid n in silence looking at those in luv...

having someone to hold so close to the rush...

damn it would be nice to feel something worth a fuck...

only if self could open up...

thoughts fling images of smiles out into daydreams...

wondering if the heart had a chance would the chosen one eventually leave...

fear chills in solitude yet never freezes the need...

allowing wants to feed on tears falling from secrets that breathe...

saddened gestures hide in mirrors behind closed doors...

for some reason pleasure is always aching for so much more...

scared of being touched is the skin shying away from attractions not to be explored...

causing problems within the depths of the emptied core...

deprived of a friend the walking nightmare is shoved away one at a time...

horrified by the emotion reaching for intent beneath the night...

all that self can remember is how it hurt jus past the sighs...

now shunning those who feel a moment to bring me to life...

craving to be alone with me as i'd rather not become the chance to hear even more lies...

saying fuck the games for it's safer to remain without the overflow of pain...

yet, how desires miss the comfort of the sound of a single name...

jus to be taken advantage of by another so called gain...

guess the bettering of off is simpler to stay away...

but the void continues to grow the older i get...

pulling with a push in quiet times spent...

listening to the pounding of the heart as a threat...

distraught n agitated by the reoccurring taste of  the emotional outlets...

as the await drags out to see if a witness is to gather the scars...

oh the curiosity of relations is too much to be considered a work of art...

lost in  the balance of being terrified by desperation showing the guard...

building the wall higher than before every time goodbyes loosens their charm...

seems a few were set free i should've held on to...

now sitting in the stillness of what's left of me in this room...

drifting on the depiction on my own face smiling as a fool...

i believe if the mind won't ease up the hope is doomed...

as the pieces of happiness isn't as pure as they once was...

feeling the frustration frightening gestures n flipping birds at the tenderness of lusts...

going without the whole package for attachments cling to cheeks that blush...

willing to land is a struggle to wind up cuddling a body flush...

in the lack there of it's hard to decipher who's who...

shying from the blooming of fresh cut dead flowers leaving the roots...

telling self it ain't worth the heartache of beauty being groomed...

n somehow the linger still settles under the nerves trying to attempt even a sexual groove...

there may not be an answer for the way i feel like i ain't good enough...

forgetting the meaning of a lil word like trust...

diving in to the reason to invade the space of a crush...

as getting close jus isn't an option due to the haunting of giving no fucks...

to resume where i died would be to resurrect the belief in others...

moving with the trembles it takes to get tangled up with a luv'r...

twisting ligaments in a wrap fighting off the heat trapped removing the covers...

as it's heartless to be so carefree of the natural state of what's to be discovered...

panic rushes the scene when the signs of harm appear...

forbidding the satisfactions as suspicions come near...

looking for any n everything to go wrong jus to flee from the cheer...

knowing what follows is a shadow to disappear as the face is to be smeared...

doubt brings life to the phobia of being dismissed...

not wanting to ball fists as if expectations are to get pissed...

creating a new list to check so unreasonable likes cannot seem to exist...

all bcuz anxiety remembers the chaos that has the tummy squeamish...

Sleepless...

In need of a friend more than a luv'r...

At some point guards will fall to feel the way hearts come together...

As these are the kinda thoughts I have in the middle of the night...

When the goofball rests n the drift is caught up in the mind...

The silence talks of truths when alone...

Laid up in the empty of self being safe at home...

For a certain type is ways craved most of all...

Thinking of the emotional drought tucked within the darkness of the walls...

Hope lays as still as breaths afraid of pain...

Keeping the mind awake as if the ache wants to play its games. .

Wanting is not an option hidden away from sight...

Ready to face the end if it were to be self never feels the warmth of an others life...

As comfort tosses to settle in beneath the sheets...

At it again is the wonder of a friend unable to even appear in dreams...

Turning cool air into a chill for a body would be nice...

Missing the feel of the moment as sighs fly...

Breathtaking us...

let's pretend to be kids like this world doesn't exist n have some fun one on one... jus hide behind closed doors n feel our way around the room as if searching for our imaginations are coming undone.!. Free to be the flicker in a flame as life flows so naturally moving with our frames... touched n teasing nerves unwinding from a long drought caught up in the thought process of the exchange... play with our youth like it is to never age as the thrill craves textures bared n shared... loosening to the fixations gone without a friend to enjoy is the condition so unfair... felt is the creative side of what intent intends to do with the desires awaiting the wants n needs... in positions changing throughout the night where moans feel walks breathing from the heat... come n lose control of the mental aspect that restricts the heart from its worth.... catering to the tongue so filthy 50 shades would blush at the choosing of precise words... heard to arouse fantasies finding action as motion lingers with pleasures untamed... jus be what it is u hide with me n push the limits to watch the reaction upon the face... as passion drips n erect is a form so rare hard is as strong as the curiosities in the dark... tasting the flutters upon the lips to fly like sound as we explode without harm...

in our lil world...

imaginary lines redrawn as a circle of trust... rounding out the smile on display that looks so fuckin good on u... as we decide the circumference of our world... having an honest chuckle being put to use... crossing boundaries no one has ever gone... telling secrets it's ok to have their space... standing within our own lil moment together as we live... getting comfort from seeing each others face... on the other side of limits put to rest... not knowing what no means for yes has more life... figuring a way so we as one can have n enjoy a lil more... in a place where we do not havta ever hide... as invisibility to this world is within the bubble we create... being u for i n me for the way u are... gettin at in to prove the heart can never go wrong... bringing out the best of what we never spent to be seen... never having to pretend to luv for like relates as one in the same singing our song...

back to the one within...

i was lettin go n didn't know what i was doin... life in its own seemed unable to know where it was goin... evolving back into self after so long i was unfamiliar with what needed to be done... fed up with the way relations felt as so alone n on the run... all i knew was i jus wanted to go the fuck home... as the heart fled from my wants back to needs on the roam... tears fell as friendships faded... but ain't we all felt a level of frustration traded.?. as the looking for who it was i needed refused to participation within relations coming to terms... lost in a world bcuz i had forgotten who i was as if i couldn't learn...  so drunk i lay im bed drifting on what letters to push... without the feel of a comfort to hold words falling into place as if diddles wrote in an empty book... life twisted with a disaster claimed beneath the facial expressions changed... losing the depths of reason it took to call out ones name... redirecting worth to a mirror the felt every once of betrayals torque... cutting the talk from the walk that made more sense to snip the chords... loosing the affect saddened songs had on the hearts feel... i remember what it felt like to get back to the one within that remained real...

in wonder...

if i actually put myself on the market to mingle i wonder who would inbox me.?. i know i play too much but if i was serious for once, would someone find a curiosity ready to act grown with a playful side.?. without replying to this post so ur intent is safe to express yourself... is it possible words would find themselves out in the open.?. we all have attractions we don't speak on n we have our reasons of why... n most of it is we think higher of others more than self like we ain't someones type... but if the gates swung free at the hinges to communicate for once... no matter what the case n without judgement... would fingers feel their way along letters collecting syllables reaching for a moment to be known.?. if i were not to respond to anyone speaking on this... if silence was the comfort of beginnings... loosening to the affect the rush tingles with... does self have the confidence to let things gravitate into a pull if it got close enough to type a few lines of interests idling from a far.?. if i were to let myself be honest with tongues rolling through a convo where what takes place is between two individuals willing to be real... would the ding of the messenger be the chime of the wait that reflects the purpose of the smile.?. creating what wasn't jus seconds prior to fingertips unleashing hidden thoughts crawling through the mind... allowing truths to be shared where no one else can see as a possible friend in the makings bringing life from daydreams...

In a brief reflection of us...

If it wasn't about the sex... N if emotion could stand to the side... If it was about a friendship... Would someone like me ever cross your mind.?. In the mood on the edge with swinging feet locked in the eyes... Coming outta nowhere with self to offer... Rotating the tongue for sound the expose depths rising the the surface... Not needing the impatience of textures softened... Drifting in between replies made to be felt... If the mind was in control of the heart... Moving simultaneously... As both were willing to make their mark... I tuned to the presence of what was in the mix... Loosening to the vibe of a moment in reality... As time slips behind the motion of smiles... Would I fit in to your lifestyle within my own individuality.?. If enough time had gotten away... N the wait was caught off guard... Face to face with something different for once... As tones seem different in a sense of smooth unwilling to be so harsh... With no pressure to even be self of all things... Jus going with the flow of where the night may go... Wanting to witness how we are to coexist... Even to spend a unused ticks of the clock together so we are not alone... Allowed to relax n dig in to the ease of the sigh... If intent wasn't trying to touch u off rip... Starting at an attraction that could go either way... Do u wanna try to get to know why we are here as words have found lips.?. If i were to leave the tension well enough at rest... Drifting to  where what is to be will be... Hoping for comfort to do what it does... If for a lil while there was a u n there was a me...

tell me how i feel...

lay down n relax...  it's the only way to be felt as fingerprints enjoy the emotional stash... feel someone for a change... comfort ain't gonna wait for the perfect to take place... it's in the now of the makings loosening up... dropping fears to be touched by luv... so settle in for the night n ease back... allow yourself to evolve from the restrictions that haunt ur past... i ain't hear to hurt u nor cause u pain... life's to sweet to purposely lose what there is to gain... trust in me as i believe in u coming together for our own selfish crave... held n holding onto more than empty nights that fade... connecting on levels of the mind where lusts are a good thing... closing eyes laid to rest for depths to free the need... as bodies cling to passions lingering in the dark... reshaping the value of compassion lit from the spark... hushing words until morning's wake... waiting of a familiar face to peek a glimpse at smiles untamed... it's jus u n i... in the gathering of the drift jus getting on with life's find... tell me how i feel... in grips found in the silence of what's real... we're our own lil secret blooming from new roots... crossing paths n somewhat lost prior to the lean captivating ligaments that move...

if i were to tell u a secret...

if i admitted how i felt... expressing the way emotion rushed to the surface to touch ur face... n how it feels to see u come to life... would u not turn ut like everyone  else that forgot my name.?.

if i couldn't hold it in... reaching for the texture of the way ur skin curves... with the comfort of exposing truths rising to the occasion... do u think you'd listen to the say i told u of ur worth.?.

if i came to terms with wanting u... spoke out loud n gave reason in actions to show interest..  having content without the fairy tales that lie... is it enough to capture the moment to last with me to invest.?.

if if's were to step aside for belief to witness friends... opened up for luv to come from likes to enjoy days rolling into nights... what response would come from ur within arms that extend.?.

if the discovery was more than patience to get to know u... as curiosities partake in the attempt of tongues hushed for a kiss... making breaths sigh beneath the tenderness of us... could u be my wish.?.

if life was all i needed to spend... curled up next to u in a bed as time can go n get lost... loosening the dreams to accept the reality of who we can become... what u do in the middle of the silent pause.?.

if the heart created this image in my mind... one in which u seen me the way i crave u... moving like the waves crashing on the beaches of ur favorite memory... who would cry first standing in use.?.

if it all came together sitting beside me ever so still... as the visual took place right before ur eyes locked in on me... amazed the way i am over the thought of u... is it possible we'd live forever never wanting leave.?.

pink is my color...

there's times where eating pussy jus lingers in thoughts arousing my intent...

jus thinkin about it the tongue begins to move...

on the loose wantin somethin to taste to fill the need to vent...

jus givin some head sound nice as the wetness comes from in between the groove...

havin pleasure on my breath so nature can run its coarse...

feelin moans from the core enjoy a good licking to say the least...

feastin n provokin the hips of such beauty of unable to take any more...

tinglin to the pour that touches my face as gasps breathe...

there's times i jus get off on the texture slippin its way across my lips...

kissed n teased down on my \knees lookin up at the sight so tender to the worth...

as it's all smile the dig in to the bodies motion gettin off as sounds leap from the jibs...

findin enjoyment in more than the ribs as i jus wanna hear her cum before she crave the girth...

so smooth within her slit the clit is my friend...

rolling in circles n suckin on ur tones changin with every stroke...

as my interest roams freely to entice sensitivities until nerves crawl away to the end...

i jus luv to lend a service to the chosen ones in which i wanna turn on their flow...

Drizzling hope...

be my storm... lemme feel it rain... so I can listen to the sound of ur heart pound like the vibes u send my way... shaking my world... cooling my skin with ur breeze... touch me as it pours as we make luv within our wildest dreams... cling to me... fall like showers upon my flesh... bringing out my inner hidings so u can witness my depths... send ur thunder... zap me with lightning... resurrect my heart as my whispers are heard sighing... come n settle the dust... awaken me living alone... show me a place that is defined as a home... with gusts Thai move me... fresh air to breathe... help me believe u are my need... falling drips to quench my thirst... allowed to live... having worth in roots growing into what life has to give... loosen ur clouds... ring them dry... I could use dungeons like u to enjoy my time...

ones own...

close is the one thing that'll end the individual...

losing self as comfort lays in the balance of principals...
surrender or remain as self wanting to live...
in luv with the simple life pausing the sex drive...
face the curtains alone or deal with whoever stands in the way of happiness...
from scrappiness to crappiness having an issue with all the sappiness that caters to sadness...
the feeling of alive will leave well enough alone...
standing in ones own...
flush is the incentive of a friend that wants more than a use...
loose ain't free of time spent that has no clue...
when a groove finds moves laughing n being grown...
skin is the factor of touch that resists the flow of luv shown...
interest steals grounds as compatibility trims the bush...
then down goes the heart as relations are forced to the rush...
complicating the sensitivities of what is it one truly wants from actions...
seeking satisfaction of multiple purposes that invade privacy's interactions...
lusting over likes or allow the distance to close for pleasure's glow...
living on ones own...
others need emotion to endure the collision stripping sense of matters that linger...
stretching the extremities releases the attachment of attractions that results in a stinger...
crossing the  threshold of no man's land lands the curiosity of joining forces too soon...
making arrangements unfortunate jus giving into sexual tendencies that bang with a boom...
smiling faces are hard to let down on the teeter where a piece of mind is said to be...
yet, trust checks mates reaching for the heart's dream...
as space upon tongues gives ideas of relocating home...
tempting ones own...

the naked truth...

as quick as the cling reaches for self... hands hurry to feel another to be felt... as soon as interests break eye contact... arms hold a new attraction unable to go without luv as emotions dash... truths fall as lies focus as they seek to dive beneath the texture as vibes are consumed... over running the minds will to find a friend comfortably amused... pure passion without a train of thought to give reason to why compatibility is a must...jus bcuz the crave is too much to wait long enough to allow such pressure on trust... hushed is the tone telling self we dodge one wild ride as destruction is up for grabs... as fast as days turn into weeks they need desperation to shut the fuck up... drifting along as someone is willing to give them what they expect out the gates of crushed... unhappy to be who they are without the dream of forever more... not knowing a whore is not a bad thing if it were with the one they enjoy on a mental soar... free from the force of habit to repeat the same ol shit giving turns to who's up next... as the list of candidates is endless to watch be called names by others waitin there moment to open up n sink them into their chests... at best being shallow enough to entertain real life with judgement's claim... it's whoever catches the eye as the train chirps with birds once the initial feel wares as a gain... as the replacement doesn't even see what is coming for the pain losing control... dead end females create the struggle to know who is truly in power of the understanding put on hold... giving pussy away one at a time as some are better than others as it drawls out the fantasies coming to life... tricking the well being of pleasure into wanting to devour a stranger n pretend it isn't lusts trying to hide... jus as tempting as lips can speak dirty thoughts the misfortune will come around n show its face... coming on strong is the objective of fingertips to manipulate physical likes with distasteful fetishes calling names... the freaks enjoy the ups n downs as playtime makes up for the lack of worth that has no edges... trimming the bush for skin to capture what is to weak to value a friendship meant to last away from ledges... the want an other to luv them unconditionally as use is never a choice... as long as they hear those three lil words lwaping from lips to voluntarily choose to make noise... bcuz men are getting laid they are willing to give time to be sucked into the thrills of hormones crawling topside of the sexual sitting arrangements willing fill the void... peeped by individuals who refuse to be labeled a man... hurting is the satisfaction of a fresh breathe that lingers as free as features believing they're the one to say holding hands...

no emotion too soon...

when u don't give into them you'll feel their frustrations reaching from their emotions... damn near incapable to remain intact as they jus want someone to luv them with unconditional devotion... yet when they cannot force relations so quickly the need becomes stronger to crave what the heart says is not for free... causing a conversation that's completely one sided before friends can even be established placed in dreams... giving silhouettes a face to recognize how shadows move together in the dark... they expect a work of art tryin to get the gates to open even though the mind's whereabouts is a necessity prior to remarks... feelings fall pressed so close to wanting more over a coarse of time n actions... untamed by the sex pulling in ever which way to get closer than the rush will allow as an attachments... the danger is a high in it's own as the cling touches an attraction freed to live... until it's back to friends that drift into strangers once never knew as something more than enough to give... it's the move on that shows true intent as the next will come jus as soon as the curtains are closed... proving depths did the right thing not to mingle without quality moments to ensure the facts tucked in moans... to bypass them is to see them move quickly to replace the emptiness of themselves trying to fill who they are with new memories made... it's the funniest shit ever when words refuse to define them as the tongue slivers the sound of an other's name...