Call on me! Make me the one u can count on.
Watch me be there everytime. Wherever u r goin.
Tell me who u r. N witness ur pain fade into me.
I jus wanna be that one. Fall into me like a dream.
I'm game n up for ur shit. Lastin through the pain.
I have what it takes luv. Standin with u in the rain.
No matter what notice actions speak. I'm here for u.
I refuse to ever tell u no. Put me to use as I do truths.
Drown yourself in a river of luv. Allow me to save u to be.
I'm calling on u. Stand n deliver as on me u lean.
I'll cry with u to feel ur life. Be one one with me here n now.
I'm willing to out in the work. Cuz I feel u n don't know how.
Lay in silence n feel the comfort. It'll speak without words.
As still as the night. Cling to ur one for ur that one I could never hurt.........
Monday, September 30, 2013
I'm calling on u
reaching emotions
Reaching from the throat to grab words grasping the understanding maintaining the best way in expressions put on mute so the sound of the heart can not be heard in the sake of makin time stretch a few more moments that seems worth the fight of luv surviving the Bettie tryin to win the war as self in erupting deep within the cores vengeance after bein put through literal hell.....
Emotions strangled so ears won't have a chance to listen to the changing tone escaping the mouths verbal assault fighting back for the understanding of the confusion forces upon a luv so pure time couldn't destroy the feeling of one as two have been ripped part by a single individuals selfishness playing games cuz they didn't realize the passion flowing in the depths of wedding bells.......
is it to late?
Is it to late? Is a apology worth speaking a sensitive sympathetic expression released from the hearts pain?
Can emotions be repaired? Is walking away make more sense when the mind knows no one else will ever due in a time where she's the only one you've ever cared? Where does picking the pieces up when nit every chip from a shattered luv will ever be found? If not, what's the outcome of walking the other way n keeping the voice muted from sound? Why is it one of the two can't seem to realize what they have before them when given the opportunity to own an other? Put out on the doorstep as if moments shared meant nothin in the middle of a night opening up beyond the makin of luv'rs!
home is jus a word.
I'm 37 yrs in n don't even know my way back to the only place I called home.
Found it once n i swear, for the life of me I don't know what I've done.
Its a misplaced feeling once the hands time slips past confusin facts.
Cuz all that was ever wanted is to know if I could make her smile last.
Guess the answers of the heart came calling before promises were kept.
It was simple honesty n truth that fell short as I was in the smoke with my best.
I never had her the way she owned me in our time together shared so sweet.
I thought I swept her but found out it was I that had gotten knocked from my feet.
Treated so raw as I stood in the mirror wondering it doesn't feel like home n more.
A man shouldn't havta be abused the way I have n give his all from his core.
Reality set in n sat with frustration til the bomb was ignited.
Boom! There went everything I fought for as I couldn't fight it.
I lost my home n was replaces so fuckin quick as if I didn't matter.
It was the only pace in which felt as I do belonged listening to.her chatter.
Loyal til the end til I euploaded n released what was in the chest playing out in the mind.
After all I've done I was left without the one I considered mine.
Home is jus a word that doesn't exist in eyes strain from a distance.
Yet after all is said n done its the only place I cling to in my heart as I miss it......
Sunday, September 29, 2013
I've died somewhere inside
In my time I've died somewhere inside while still alive.
Felt the completion of luv run through my depths of mine.
In my time I given to the point where I subdued.
Showin interest in a way to say I have nothin to lose.
In my time I awakened as a man in an others eyes.
N fell short cuz my one couldn't face me due to her lies.
In my time I was everything back when it all began.
On the road dot a life time n yet alone I stand.
In my time I've felt the gift to the pain n enjoyed both.
Had the one I wanted n was forced to give up all hope.
In my time I seen me in a set if eyes that sen me for me.
Jus to witness my passion give up on a longing dream.
In my time I was there as a friend like no other for someone special.
Gettin at life n noticed I couldn't was pulling on her demons tale.
In my time the power of us was the greatest moments made.
Jus to find out all along that Butchie by Mandy was played!
In my time I thought I had expressed myself deep enough to make it.
But she wanted a lifestyle I'd never fit into so she hated.
In my time it was us til the very end with ashes mixed forever.
Now I sit back realize there was no excuse for y we shouldn't be together.
In my time I fought n tried in actions to see a smile rise.
As the twist of life came along n I've died somewhere inside.
I'm about it girl
Ur not allowed to make me feel less than my worth any longer.
I know my place in luv when I share my my own as its able to grow stronger.
Jus cuz u couldn't handle a reality that stared u down is on u.
I'm about it girl, step to the plate n dig in to life's chance of use.
All those around me sees what u took for granted for some time.
Here come the moment of knowing who I am as a real man.
Walkin away from the existence of what I thought was us as I stand.
Its funny how u did the beat thing I ever was given a lil while to touch.
U jus don't understand what u had deep within my passions luv.
Now ruined beyond repair Mandy n Butchie walks in to different lives again.
Climbing from the depths of emotions that crushed all at the same time of gain.
Toodles one as I retract the name given to the one that doesn't deserve the label.
Its back to me to be the one who got away n I stroll in a fade stable.
Who woulda known u coulda been so heartless to tear me apart on purpose.
N I'd grin n bare it so I can step on my own never to return for ur heartless.
On good in form of a lesson that molded my friend within never be second best.
Yeah, u didn't but I've passed every single individual particular one of ur tests.
U suck as a human bein for what u did to me the way u did y u did what u did to me.
We had it n u failed to face realities plate of gods will giving a chance to live free.
out she flows. jus a few diddles left behind her lies. deep beneath her eyes that seen me cry. hidden why's in her actions played there own part. seen from the start I went n allowed her to.break my heart. its an art of maturity on a level to complete selfs worth. listening to the games knowing the truths hurrying the hurt. as chuckles covered in dirt lays to waste a luv so pure. I found my cure after company Yeats jus to let her go for sure. n the fortitude I out myself through is jus my way of walking away. I can never stay nor will I repeat my words of ilu day to day. something never again I will ever say to someone so right n yet so wrong. so may songs express my true feelings all along. goodbye 1, ur the one I longed to hold u n I got my chance to know why. as I no longer try to chase an individual in which I did liked.....
Goodbye 1!
i fell n life somehow stalled
Walking with a bruised daydream beaten n abandoned.
Twitchin a nerve mid sleep from where the bodies left landin.
Pulled from a night's drifting jerk n thrown straight into a nightmare.
Eyes roll with the sweat pouring in a flow, showing emotions r scared.
Switching it up half way awake it was never a dream at all.
Somewhere living in a fantasy I fell n life somehow stalled.
Breakin the habit n on to the next level outside la la lands delusions.
Now in a mature attempt to find a state of mind where reality fights the intrusion.
Jus to slide under sleeps blanket again with a true piece of mind.
Where games have no place in my personal worlds untold time.
In a outta sleep no longer in wonder of fading off nor waking to the bullshit.
Lights on or knocked out I'm relaxed n restin my head to awaken in the same passion in which I kiss......
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Opened n ready I've become somethin I don't understand.
As real as expression pouring from my face as a man.
Broken I given myself n got lost in the mix to see her eyes.
Stares remain yet the pain consumes the frightening possibilities.
Can I find it in me to forgive cuz I feel the break of insanity.
I have what it takes to luv for a lifetime of a smile that hurts me.
No one else will do as I give into her as she is my dream.
But I don't think she knows what's she's done to my core.
Everyday even after all said n done I want her more.
Y do I submit to her the way I do to feel this way?
I can't comprehend her actions playing out day by day.
The only place I don't seem lost is only by her side.
Will she actually submit to me as my wife before the end of time?
I believe she confuses me with an other cuz I'm toeing the line.
Never ready to walk away yet I'm goin down in my mind.
Hearts done felt the worst of things n its as if she doesn't care.
N all I keep tellin myself as my head nods back n forth is its not fair.....
dead stare chuckle
The corridor to my heart is a motionless hollow hall in which on skinned knees I crawl.
Dark without shadows of the beast within n this ache within me is all ur muthafuckin fault.
The only light is behind me as it gets smaller n smaller for I can not stop n turn the fuck around.
I'm captured by the pain that calls to me with a familiar voice in silent sounds.
I hear the twisted lies, yet I wonder if the face its released from is jus a demented as one in the same.
Its an evil whisper of spooky tales like u needing me near to own me for ur gain that claims.
I can't see a fuckin thing as I stand still to feel the chilled breeze forced from my frozen core chard.
Oh how I can't take much more of the fear as I endure the torcher from the queen of hearts.
Wtf am I to do as the walls suffocate dimensions enclosin in on what's so fuckin pure?
U did this to me n yet I still run to my inner pits of no return, to my lonely emotional cure.
I jus wanna close my eyes n drift away so fuckin far from the thought of u cuz u hurt myself.
Somewhere in a timeless presence where I don't havta seek pleasure lent by hands of ur help.
Here's the thing of the day as I face a life without u lingering inside my emptiness' weakened own.
Can u feel me release u from the depths in a sense of oh no! Baby, please don't let me go?
U fucked me up in a way I feel a sick sense of life cockin my head sideways with a dead stare chucklin.
Yeah, I'm a lil different from the one u knew before u escaped cuz I was the one u were more than hustling.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
without her
Sun felt warming the face in a new day rearranged for a change to prove to me life is not over as of yet.
Yet the loneliness without a luv I thought I'd always have for her remains deep in a place where I hide from the sunset.
Fallin shadows into the night claim the most of me needing her in a way i felt as one for we r the same kinda charm.
Lil did the realization pay attention to the river flowing within this man's opened heart collapsing with her in my arms.
Damaged the sky hasn't the same visual affect in eyes that once believed in the pleasure of happiness's touch.
The display is jus colors thrown n stuck above the willingness that's given up on the passion left to drown in the rain fallin in luv.
Damn me for allowing her to feel as free as she shoulda been cuz she stepped on my neck lick a crack beneath ur feet walkin carelessly causing a pain that's unbearable.
I see life in a new way in this afterlife without her clinging to my side's everyday as the games she played were disrespectful......
I will never be the same as she's somewhere else lost as I am wondering what the fuck happened to us when we were made for each other.
Finding ourselves thinkin how did we fall from a luv that was worth the moments earned with someone that was more than jus a luv'r.
ur apologise have no place in my inner ear canal touching my mindset set apart from ur voice tryin to speak to my heart for sympathy. I don't ever wanna hear u say I'm sorry for what u have done to me is inexcusable in my eyes cuz I was as good to even ur fantasies. u sold me out for ur own personal gain that reflects an image in the mirror u can't even bare to witness without me by ur side. how could u destroy n tear down the emotions shared between us n figure I'd always stand by ur side til the end of times everlasting find. I told u, don't understand the luv I carried for u for so long as u walked on me tryin to show u, u had a friend in me. n now that the lies n games have caught up with u I now know y u shielded me from ur pain u caused me the time we had to express truths. I can't hear u luv for our moment has passed cuz u refused to fight for a man that was there no matter why as for u now I have no use. I know who u r n what I was to u as yes luv was shard, yet ur selfish ways dismantled the purist thing I will have ever felt in my lifetime that's changes the shape of my smile. do u know why I woulda done jus ti see u smile n know u were not alone in this world that's filled with folks that r out to get u as ur face is the only thing u have to offer all the while? so save yourself like u did for over three months as I sat in pain chasing my dream so I could prove the luv was as real as the air I sucked into my lungs. please, i never wanna see ur face for if I do I know Imma wind up in my last holding u til the end of time in the middle of a meaningless cuddling hug...... goodbye 1! I do luv u..... still
Save it
the fear
What fear is not luv'n an other the same.
Bein unfair to someone tryin as I did burning out a flame.
I will never find the meaning nor purposes again.
N I don't know if I want her crawl up under my skin.
I had it in my grasps n it so sad it did want me back.
All the while speaking fibs that formed lies that slashed.
I fell in n fell away madly in luv with my one.
Now the fear of allowin time to accept someone that lingers.
I never wanted an other u find their an other the rips of my fingers.
I've learned how to sleep alone n remain faithful to a fool.
After giving self in a way the only thing that showed was proof.
Now left standing with the fear of my world changing before my eyes.
N even thou I still luv for her I can never cry.
I just don't understand of all people y do this to me?
We said til the end of time itwas us for life.
I guess I didn't read the fine print n ignored the signs.
Our time sroopedway to soon for a heart that cared.
For a friend that was there for the gain of emotions shared.
N it hurts as the fear becomes clear n everyday is focusing slow.
Idk where I am goin as solo as the days running from the night's flow.
Lost n regaining the strength within I release her from myself.
After bein as one with the only one that helped.........
under the sun
Do u feel it?
No more b.s.
Life has returned.
N yes a lessons learned.
Its a battle won.
Walkin as a man under the sun
Simplifyin the situation.
Let loose from the frustration.
Here I am.
I've done all I can.
Jus a lil note to self.
I am still felt.
Away with time.
With a stronger state or mind.
Its back to me again.
N I gotta plan.
Only on question remains.
Where to go with my gain.
As still as breaths exhaled.
To walk alone I was dared!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
slip into me
Gimme a minute. Don't be so quick to keep it movin.
I'm harmless n jus wanna find ya. Lets get to knowin.
Where do ya stand in life? How is it u'll work out in mine?
I'm jus sayin. Give a moment of ya time to slip my charm in ya smile.
I'm a big boy n u can keep ur draws on. Its jus who I am.
N if it works out ya can share ur treasure. With a grown ass man.
Can ya feel it. Dig, I'm jus tryin to see behind ya eyes.
I'm ol school for sure. Puttin down the ground work for the grind.
Stand still n hold up gurl. I'm not her to hurt ya.
I'm tryin to find my one. N I'm seeing someone interest is noticing lookin atcha.
Take a moment n ya can step on ya way. Jus do what ya feel.
Keep ya head over ya heart. Mingle with an individual who's the real deal.
Lemme see if I can appreciate what u bring to the table. I'm jus me.
I'm bout the work its gonna take. Slow n easy slippin further into a dream.
Jus here n there. When u can use truths in ya reality.
Don't make me way h ya walk away. Ya'd never know my capability.
A playa I am not. That's games as old as yesterday.
I'm jus realizin I'm digging ya. Can I get a piece of ya everyday?
Think bout n take a number ya won't forget. Hit it if ur feeling it.
Feel free to size me up. I can pas the test n slip into me all up in ya mix.
I was there
I think I fucked up lookin after an other doin the right thing.
Put relations on the line cuz my heart lives within my wedding ring.
Wtf did I do n what was I thinkin cuz she's hurting in the worst way.
I never meant to cause so much pain but it wasn't my actions bein lost in between days.
I was only tryin ti help the only one I've ever luv'd n ever will.
N now her smile sits motionless without what make sure luv spill.
Yet I had to make sure she could never cross that line again.
I was jus tryin to be that one lookin after her Dillon a man's shoes.
As a friend like no other n I believe I slipped up when I tries to help, whobknew?
I'd become that one that took away her joy she lived for everyday.
Ibdidnt mean any harm n I wasn't playing any type of childish game.
It came from the heart as I did the unthinkable but I had to make sure.
Now she looks at me withdrawn in her eyes in which I've caused.
This is an unfair life that claims us all cuz we don't get out til our hearts forced into a pause.
Even when times feels like we can not go on to the hurt we endure.
How can one felt so.bad when intentions were for the only cure?
I don't understand the concept of bein there fir someone in a way they haven't a choice but to do the right thing.
Jus so when they do their own heart can feel the joy of the rhythm in which it sings.
Monday, September 16, 2013
u left me in pain to return as if nothin ever happened
I gotta satellite outta myself for any chance of survival after allowing u to touch the only place inside of me I kept away from the time of day so no one could ever ruin my chance to enjoy a luv I waited on for far to long before u came around n entered my secrets n turned me against the only one thatbhas ever mattered within my own.........
N greenish it lost n fleeing a place deep enough to be destroyed only by one as I never wanted me to be subjected to the pain caused by someone I've patiently hung about to show myself n see me in there eyes as it was u that freed my passion that jumped out n clung to u in a way ready to be grown............
My time is a waste to say the least cuz u came along n played with my emotions for ur precious gains keep of gimme gimme n I was to suffer at hands of luv's twisted manipulation claiming smiles curve that's now as flat as a horizon without a sunset..............
Alone n drifting wit thoughts left of what was the purist thing jus behave u turn back around n give hope n the feelings beg me not to bow to ur ways without putting up a fight n put self first like i am my own best friend defending what's left after u turned n walked away leaving me madly in luv with a dream I couldn't awaken cuz I tried n failed the test...........
N here u r claiming ur luv is as real as the day before u forgot who I was to u n wanting the ownership back i gave u from the very start of US becoming one in time to enjoy til the end of the creation of man fading into a story to he told of two individuals that couldn't go without their other half no.matter what..........
There's a fine line crossed here that u neglected screw months back that I fought n moved closer for utopian return towards that felt comfort injury stay that u threw away for reasons I do not understand to this day of bein face to face with the luv of my life starin me down as if nothin ever happened to what was shared saved luv..........
I swallowed my pride nuts emotion n heart over n over again tryin to hold on as i chased u thru the storm jus ti havta throw my hands up n watch instep carelessly as if I was no one to u n. It hurt iI still hurts knowing ur here wanting me as I am truly scared.........
I was there for u as u left me out in the balance of subscribe be blown anywhere the breeze coulda taken me far away from u n I held my ground tryin to prove to u what's meant to me in such a short time I had to feel u against the one in me that cared............
Thursday, September 12, 2013
I allowed u to help me walk away. like this diddle Ive perfected walking away. I watched u play ur games on me. lil did u know I was setting myself free. thru u doin me the way u do I let u think u had this. yet til the end I stood by u n put up with ur shit. u see, u made it easy to walk awAy from u. n u don't even realize I'm jus that good put to use. I beat unattended ur own game before u could end it. but u have a job now n my duties r done here, its fixed. I'm not unstable yet in the beginning I did chase. til I realized Nubian mama in the mirror in my own face. what did u think u were doin luv with my heart. cuz I seen u comin Damn near from the very start. jus took time to prepare self for the end. n u made it so easy ti step with purpose with me as my best friend. I'm.jus better at the game the u could ever be. without even playing I allowed u to force me to be free. thank u for thinkin u knew what u were doin. cuz I seen u comin n goin. I allowed u to destroy my feelings for u. n enjoyed the feeling of u bein released from truths. all cuz it's what u wanted as I respect u tryin to play me a I went along. I've been where u r so long ago it not funny yet wrong. I shoulda jus ended it sooner but I needed u to do me in. so when I did step away I couldn't feel I within. do I realize I allowed wHat I thought could never be happen. me not luv'n u, n on my own far awAy from ur maddenin. ur fu min new ti.say the least n I'm laughing now. for image able to stand as a man that u helped create somehow. wow! did u ever think I'd be so rounded more than I was before u. yeah I wasn't asleep to ur leading me one for so long girl. n to be honest Imma miss u in my world. but I can not feel ur presence anywhere inside of me. ur gone, flushed out, away, down u went with my dreams. n I'm good with the facts that I embraced thru ur actions. I'm not the one who has to deal with the results n reaction. for I don't nothin but trey til my opportune time. fuckin luv u 1! but no longer want u as my wife. u ruined every emotion I ever had for u. n I allowed it so I could be me once again withbuse. I'm walking away a better man with skills. N unsung break my will. that's the kicker cuz u couldn't break me. watched u slowly tear away the meaning . n ibthinkbits funny cuz o owned my ass. u thought I'd never be able to outlast...... its good shit huh! cuz I know u have emotions left with luv. sux swallowing the pain you've caused don't it? im done MANDY! I'm finally tired of ur shit. goodbye r forever so here is urs. I no longer feel u u in my core. n it's all ur fault n u r to blame. I'm walking away before I hate. cuz thatbstill mean I somewhAt care. n I don't so toodlez cu u weren't fair.....
Allowed
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I'm jus cutting to the chase
Lemme cut to the chase.
Get as close as space in the middle of a pause all up in ya face.
I wanna picker up n taste u draped in lace.
For not my own my sake but for ur pleasure finding its mate.
Roll round n wait on my moment to help u escape deep into fate.
Imma be wearin a cape like a super hero makin ur toes curl n break.
Snap, pop n squeeze as I raid ur underworlds shame.
Tamin passion felt in a game of, say my mytha fuckin name.
Playin n sweating like its raining doin the funky munkey cumin with a came.
Never will u be the same.
From soft to hard claimin the way I move my cane.
Goin a bit insane the way I move into ur cave.
Give it here gurl n want me to stay.
I'm all man, what more can I say.
I'm jus tryin my damndest to make ur day.
I got this crave sitting in between ur legs.
N u know I'm not only one that needs to be laid.......
I can be ur man that fazes ur fuzzy shaved.
Yeah, I wanna be enslaved to ur frame.
Diggin in to take the blame.
For ur orgasm on parade...... in jus sayin
come on in MANDY!
Come on in n feel my pain.
Touch the way u let me hang.
The sweat on my brain feels like rain.
Claimed by fingers placing blame.
Cuz I can't escape ur face nor name.
N its totally driving me insane.
Chained to the rage inside my hate.
Nothins the same without my fate.
Within my cage is where only ur remain.
My hearts captured, its ur slave.
My gain is lost n im insane.
N i gotta watch drift n fade.
Remembering all the b.s. u use to say.
U came into my life playing ur games.
Affraid by ur side alone n enslaved.
As the memory of u is tucked n saved.
Y after so much to u I gave.
My inner beast u touched n tamed.
Its the way it played out in yesterday.
Yet I got to see u layed out in lace.
I think of all the hard times that we faced.
N how u made my own heart flutter n race.
Times have changed cuz u turned n walked away.
Jus ur way of sayin I'm on display.
I felt u to cave within my embrace.
U made me feel my open grave.
Mated for life now its rearranged.
Tearin emotion from my days.
But it's ok as u see me beg.
I'm not enough for into stay.
Running u went off n went astray.
After the passion that we shared in luv's fame.
Now I sit n pray over the hurt u made.
U ripped my life apart without dismay.
So come on in n help me recreate.
Our time cut short split in two by ur locomotive train.....
I'm out
Back out Im entering this world with my head on swivel.
With another piece of my past burried by the shovel.
Down with my head on straight n after the thrill of life.
At the basics putting it back together on a natural high.
Comin into focus is confidence bustin loose from the seems.
Released from the presence of choked by a ring.
Right or left the decisions mine to roam as I go at my own pace.
The world is wide open for my stamp on where I wind up in my stay.
Monday, September 9, 2013
it's u
If I were anyone else I'd leave u at the bottom.
Yet I want the best for u so I will not leave u there rottin.
Its u of all people that has claimed my luv's test.
For my head truly depends on what resides in my chest.
Please understand I am a friend like no other.
Ur closer to me than my own fuckin mother.
It's u that came outta the blue n changed my life.
N I have the right to keep u as my very own wife.
I luv u with more truth than u will ever know.
Cuz the hearts emotion will never go cold.
Yet as i sit here n can not help in the way I should.
U get my all like u always have bringing out my good.
Anyone other than u can kiss my fuckin ass.
Im out for self along side our timeless hour glass.
Understand the depths you touch within my core.
Cuz I don't think u realize all I want of u is more.
Til my dying end u get what I've always stood for.
Over u I'd rage a lifetime war...
Sunday, September 8, 2013
get to know a fella
Manning up. Feelin myself beneath thy skin.
Silk n slick. I'm more down to earths grin.
Good at what I do. Gettin with my own.
Confident. On my way to claiming the throne.
A gentleman. Yet as dirty as sex can stand.
Rounded out. Walkin thru life's lil plan.
Findin a new way. All by my lonesome as a man.
Never fading. Goin on the feeling of life.
Molded for the sake. Enjoyin the hype.
Been there done that. Teachin somethin new.
Here how it's done. Pick up on the clues.
Witness how I play. Without game bein self.
In control without. Movin straight in to bein felt
Hard it is not. Guess I jus been near to many females.
Listenin n learning. To all their fantasies n fairytales.
It as easy as 1.2.3. Born to please the mind.
Followed by the bodies calling. Noticin the sighs.
Yeah I know. So heres to u falling to truths.
Imma do u right. Here comes my use.
Enjoy ur claim. I can walk the talk.
Jus good enough to keep. Its not my fault.
Lets make life hot. Made for two.
No u don't see me comin. I'm brand new.
I'm nothin like you've seen. N it's jus the prelude.
Makin u feel alive. U I'd never reduce to cut loose.
I'm here. Full grown n open to ur mind.
Send me a vibe. I'm bout grabbing life vines.
Squeezin out a bottle of wine. Drippin in time.
Can u feel me? Cuz u have no idea.
U dont know what ur in for. Hell yeah.
Lemme blow ur mind. Jus cuz I can.
Help u relate. Growin within ur own woman.
Its like that. Imma show u how.
Come go with me. Here n now.
Ur in good hands. Trust.
Turnin in luv. From eyes that lust.
Get to know a fella. You'll be amazed at what u find.
I jus need a moment. A piece of ur undivided time.
I got this. I'm nothin like you've ever known n all me.
Comin out to feel ya. In more ways than one ever so free.
Release yourself. Check ya watch n see how time flies.
Spinnin. Imma spread u as thin as air disappearing in between lines.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
a statue emerges
Slow patient pain lingering beneath the confusions smile.
Dead emotions still, hidden from a passion worth the while.
Holdin frame, captured by misguided moments unjustified.
There's an unstable mess living within the cores restin place crucified.
Help, someone please give notice to the frustrations strangulation.
The pulse is flat, missing the point of no returns duration.
Inside self a war is outta control between the heart n the mind.
Conflict consumes realities dreams of compressed demise.
Swallowed with purposes the frail existence settles behind a battle cry.
Down goes self, burying times chance at pulling through.
Wicked the feelings twist, deep in the lies of untold truths.
Claimed by failure, regrets attack thoughts injecting betrayal.
Hands reaching as air can not be handled in the fight against denial.
Reduced quietly into a tumblin cycle of worth n irrelevance.
Round n round up n down blinded eyes have no more tolerance.
Givin way for the healing, structure reforms what's left of the pieces.
Before anger outlasts luv's relentless power over thy choking leashes.
Gain has no life anywhere here, jus lost n redirecting silence.
Planted roots ripped from the souls soil lay about with violence.
Ooh the torcher that creeps thru the veins frozen bitterness.
A statue emerges as a form of expression that once was long live happiness....
Friday, September 6, 2013
it's us
Til the end its US.
I wish h I could believe after the lust.
U caused pain with disregard.
Ripped me from feelins n left scarred.
Ignores n thrown away like it was easy.
Wentaround actin tough n sleazy.
U hadn't a moment to spare for my luv.
N I can't remember the last time there was truth in ya touch.
It was a game to u to clown on me.
Left me standing in the middle of our dream.
Madly in luv I was there for u all the way.
N after all's said n done u realize by ur side I stayed.
Yet the tide remains as if I turned on u.
Girl I don't think u have a fuckin clue.
I'm more than the man u will ever need.
Yet I was the one one my knees.
U played me like Jews no one to u.
Like i didnt know what u were doin without clue.
If u remember I told u what u were doin.
N where you'd wind up n were goin.
I'm stillborn yes but I am not the same.
N I'm tired of ur so called blame game.
Either get at life n accept our fate.
Or release me from ur grip of hate.
Cuz I've done nothin but react to the pain.
N at walked away before I went insane.
Udont realize the level of luv I have for u.
Expressed in everything I do.
So keep up with this way of life ur living.
N this outage control way of takin my giving.
For I won't be around much longer its gettin old.
N the weather is chilling n will turn the heart to cold.
N once frozen an other will warm the soul.
The one I which u couldn't feel for u tryin to hold.
Am j makin this a clear as I possibly can?
Cuz Imma bout to show u how I can walk away as a man.
Ur fuckin up n I won't stand for the lack of interest any more.
With u I'm becoming extremely bored.
As if a waist of time all together.
N jus think not to long ago we promised each other forever!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
afterlife
So this is what life is like without u.
This is how I'm left feeling after all is said n done.
How ironic the emotions I fought off.
Glad it was so easy for u to turn on ur one.
N this is how u walk away.
Once upon a time I thought we was forever.
So as I sit here well never know now.
Its a different kinda feeling not bein together.
Its sad who u truly turned out to be.
N how u did me as ur only true friend in our time.
Guess it jus took a few yrs for the real u to surface.
After u couldn't face me cuz of all the lies.
N the games I finally faced.
I tried to show u a new way.
My thoughts r we jus may not be so much alike.
So this is the afterlife were u didn't wanna play.
I feel u on ur journey needing ur fix.
Everyone has a change of heart.
As the mind turns cuz the other has another lifestyle.
Til now I luv'd u from the start.
My best was wasted on ur selfishness.
U tore all 11 of our lives apart without care.
So go get ur justification pleasing ur high.
Separated ashes jus doesn't seem fair.
Yet I accept with smile the outcome.
For I know who u truly r now standin alone.
This is my life walking in the other direction.
Feelin u fade as I begin to roam.
Pushin u out of that one place no one could ever touch.
N it amazes me how a luv so pure could end.
Left in a moment of truth I found u.
N I'm better off as sad as it sounds cuz u wanted to pretend.
But we both know y we really stopped this rollercoaster.
Lets jus sat my side was willing a able.
Gettin at what I wanted in my presence.
N it may hurt that I'm not the one that's unstable.
Leavin u in a place where I woulda never thought I'd leave u.
Gone I'm off seeking my true calling.
With my head clearer than I've ever thunk.
I'm not wasting no more time on u Stalling.
As I rest in what's left of us released.
Goodbye MANDY!
I will miss u but life is not over.
Yet my realization of u is u r only eye candy..........
Monday, September 2, 2013
u got my best
Picking up the pieces scattered about.
Coverin the floor so anytime up til now.
I seen it comin for some time n.don't know how.
N still to my queen I willingly bowed.
I was there when u couldnt remember who I was.
As u were lost in yourself clinging to the lust.
Yeah, i was there madly fuckin in luv.
N now that I see u for who u r, it sux.
I witnessed what was left of our time together in a mess.
As I stood shaking my head, i failed the test.
Or did I as u got my best.
N I couldn't find enough room within ur own chest.
I picked us up by myself n claimed possessions as my own.
Guess u didn't understand what it was I was showing.
A man standing before u with purpose n grown.
Starin u down to havta look away n roam.
imagin that, i maintained
Here we go!....
Maybe I jus wasn't good enough.
Nah wait, hold that thought.
I jus mighta been to much.
Take a peek in on what I was doin.
Hmmm, Damn near everything.
N I had less on my plate.
Yet I was doin enough for the both of us inside my wedding ring.
Superman.
Then again I am human n u I can't fix!
I still have the rush of what we was inside of me over flowing.
Tryin to escape cuz I'm beating the living shit outta it.
2 sticks of dynamite, boom, fire in the hole.
Here I am n I survived my dream as I awaken from the betrayal.
Yeah, i got lost twice in my life.
Once in u as I couldn't find myself n i became frail.
N again in the end of u giving up n leavin me searching for a home I thought I found.
Whew..... yeah I feel u!
Even more when we r face to face.
That's y I never wanna see u again n that's jus speaking the truth.
Other wise I'd fall deeply back in luv.
N I can't take the pain of everyday life with u.
I am not the same.
Jus do what u do!
I'm jus me kicking it the only way I know how.
Away from u n hiding how I truly feel let loose from my one.
Yeah. Here comes the point of no return.
Who do u think u r after all is said n done.
I should hate u by now.
U damn near drove me crazy n damn halfway insane.
Yet not even u could break me.
Imagine that, i maintained!
I thought it take the life of who I was.
Funny bet u thought you'd have control of me forever.
Even though u own my heart.
Mmmm, there's a twist as u chose us never to be together.
I can hear my heart pumping without u.
Holy shit! Ur not hear.
N I'm still me n I don't have a single tear to shed.
U see you've stolen as many of them as I can spare.
Sorry 1!
U gotta go somewhere we can never be flush.
My time is none of ur concern.
N I don't need ur broken angle of what u consider luv.
It's as easy as silence listening to itself.
Sssh..... don't speak.
I'm not listening no more.
There's only a useless friendship I'm holding on to makin me weak.
Easy come. Easy go.
N yet this a lie.
I think Imma keep it real.
Like I always do.
U r missed in a way in never wanna feel u agian!
Fuck rhymin that last line.
It felt better to jus open up as US I outlasted.
My world will never be the same.
But I'm happy to know I'm free from ur grasp.
Sliding back into rhythm of where i was before u.
Stable n about gettin at life.
N its really jus so sad u couldn't keep up.
I luv'd having u as my wife......
Goodbye MANDY!