Late November

I've been free a couple of times before. Yet it is not the kind of freedom I was looking for.
To come and go as I damn well pleased. Do as I do as I was never received.
I did me but something was missing. A touch, a kiss and some hugging and squeezing.
I've waken to the birds whistling in the trees. Pulling me from delightful dreams.
Risen and went about my day. Doing everything my way.
No conflict, no attachments. Leaving emotionally unatractive.
My worth walking alone was self learning of what I wanted. As she was out there and by everyone else was hunted.
I use to sit so alone and just live with what I thought was purpose. Day dreaming of the day when I would meet the one I'd miss.
Lonely strolls became restless for it seemed no one noticed. Mind strong yet hopeless.
I enjoyed the sun by myself for so long. Nights empty and felt so wrong. 
Was it possible, I asked myself. For some one as I to love as I am felt.
Questions unaswered for years were built up inside. I've been by with me all my life.
Never feeling another to let them in the way I should. But I was holding out for I was misunderstood.
Time became irrelivant as patience gave up. Living in moments of lust and mistrust.
Freinds were their so they say. I couldn't trust anyone because refused to play their game.
Opened eyes is a closed mind watching and evaluating actions. And I couldn't relate to ways of dissatisfaction.
Periodically joining the world to see what it had to offer. Gun blazing from its holster.
Strapped up and laying them down. Never getting attached, just giving a wow.
A man, I felt I was not. Incomplete poking a dot.
Growing within as mornings came and went. Thinking I have not had a sinlge moment well spent.
Yet I gave in and gave up for I felt defeated. Always moving along and told I was needed. I didn't feel a thing for anyone I came acrossed. Living for me and lost in the sauce.
I was waisting away slowly because I hadn't a story to tell. One worth the memory of wedding bells.
But late November 28,2010. My prayors was answered as my heart was lent.
Minutes lingered as conversation took place. And I knew without a doubt she was my empty space.
Filling me whole I felt so alive. Emotions I no longer had to hide.
Owning me from the start a friend came from the past. One who I thought of throught the years was here at last.
And to this day I look back and thank her still. For she gives meaning to this man will.

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