Before finding real luv…

I fear the day someone so fresh and sincere comes along and tries to replace you. They won’t know what they’re doing but oh, no, help me. I’m just some fool still enjoying how my heartbeat was put to use. Only if they knew the level they’d havta go to free my dreams? They’d find you dancing in the middle of my empty mind. I’d be waiting a lifetime for you to come on home. They just might feel there is no hope. But luv isn’t for the weak that clings to every other luv’r claiming it’s real. There’s only one type the heart can’t help but to feel. My secret is you hidden behind my eyes as I can’t see no one else. I can feel their hands on my body as they’re not mine bcuz in my emotions they’re simply not felt. I consider it great times with swingers as we pass each other around. As my reality without you will never commit so I will never havta admit that someone took your place as that send to not be aloud. One pulse, one wave, one life to live. Imma die luv’n you from distance bcuz it’s all I have left to give. No matter my encounters with passerbyers while I make sure of the situation I’m in. I live with the chuckles embedded in my ribs. Smiles come and they fade like lights being turned on and off. Evolving in the aftermath is a phase that has self caught up in a pause. Why it is unconditional as you have free range in my heart I’ll never know. You’re just home. It scares me to think one day you’ll never me in my mind as the whispers go hush. As this is the train of thought before finding real luv. In the here as of this far you stand to be a standard of what soothed me. And if another comes along to replace you, you should’ve been here to free me. To release me from the space between my ears thinking of me heart trying to save itself. As this is that moment I tell myself once again, you weren’t much help. So, if I happen to open back up, the memory of you shall vanish in their presence nonetheless. I’m just in a transition attempting to retrain the emotions huddling in my chest. Figuring out what needs to be kept and what needs to go. If I’m to keep it real ima havta face truths to overcome being alone…

This is not a personal piece. I write situational circumstances and a free range of topics…

Speaking in tongues…

Speaking from a train of thought that reflects in words of repetitive escapes. Wait. Lemme gather a new sound so I can rotate my mind to match the look upon my face. I don’t wands talk outta the side of my neck. Nor make sense to only me making things tense. I’ve evolved but I haven’t shown a thing of what comes next. I guess I live in suspense. From the cuff to live a bit until I get it right. Sighs climb so high. Coming out in the replacement of words as I get lost in time. Unspoken is a usefulness hidden and aimed down a snipers sight. Until the target is acquired that doesn’t consist of resisting the imaginary thrill. I smile bcuz my truths are in the cheesiness of my chills. Just listen to the chuckles rumbling my side. Feel the ripples of laughs that escape through gestures reaching with a silence so defined. But I’m trying to express the echoes in my head that not even you can hear. But if you lean in a lil closer I’ll attempt to whisper them into your ear. Fear me not as I loosen my lips to the pitter patter of soft syllables that aren’t trying to seduce you. From the inside leaking out seeking a different type of use…

Behind your eyes…

I don’t mind spending time behind your eyes. I like doing my part to ghost write your life. Living in the exchange of your face that changes shape. Never to be tamed as I refuse to escape your brains tight process creatively made. To be warm like an ora is such a beautiful norm. Wanting more of me dripping into the pour of your heart so you’re never alone. As calligraphy describes how notes draw me up in your head with the way it’s said for me to move as if we were in the same bed. Using words like wet, chest, best, invest, blessed, breast, nonetheless just a blessing as I rest. I enjoy tempting your imagination to play in ways every thought cannot wait for the nights to be embraced. Giving you reasons to think about the experiences in which I read in daydreams that lead into deep dreams as I breathe you with a wink. For the pulse will slow into an ease to please breaths so subtle free will be defined in your wants craving a the need of me. One day to give life to the reasons of why I’ve become the comfort in your sighs. From left to right as you chase me behind your eyes for if never made you cry. 

How time flies…

I woke up in tomorrow in which made it to today as I was thinking about yesterday when I was motionless and well behaved. Something’s different here in the future of all places to wind up as I’m no longer running from flings and old luv’s clinging to my mind’s memory and I can’t seem to remember the altered story. Once upon a few days ago my face was smeared from a scam ran on my heart’s calling that displayed do not disturb in every expression and in so many irrelevant ways. As crossing the threshold of time warped me so fast I don’t recognize this new version of me unable to see my past tense that didn’t last. I’ve been trying to adjust every since the sun came back around but without my frown the funny clown isn’t laughing the in the same ol way, so what now? It appears the war in my head is over as every battle has scattered with its chatter unable to batter and belittle me with a tongue that can’t be heard bcuz it doesn’t matter. I opened my eyes to a the day chasing the night away so it can’t touch the horizon racing for me to escape all the stagnant pain that drove me insane. Prior to the now dreams mourned overnight and morphed into clarity by the time the daylight made life once again, alright. The fading of the weight in the dark created space to counter gestures that changed as of late. Soon enough came around for me to live a lil more than I did before that’s for sure. As I sigh feeling revived, thinking my my my, how time flies…

Victorious…

I’ll win without disturbing your peace. I’ve learned a few things, like how to breathe with keeping composure instead of coming lose at the seams. I need not get rowdy from an emotional altercation. So when I turn and walk away, know I live through demonstrations. As even my pettiness chuckles in victory bcuz I bypass the bs of going back and forth. If you’re not happy go find where your heart belongs as I walk you out to lock the door. There’s no games worth playing if they don’t involve our genitals being exposed. As there’s no sense in going without sexual desires due to what contributes to the crumbling of a home. I don’t fail nor do I  lose. I’m my own standard and things are what they’ll be until they’re removed. You will never defeat me. I will never fall victim to illusions that have complicated my daydreams. Yapping off at the gums is for impersonators attempting to verbally persuade others. I’m not a mimic of your gimmicks just to be your luv’r. I will outlast you in every way. Either near or from afar is what must be for my sanity to calculate what hearts claim. It doesn’t matter how life tends to go. My smile works even if you decide to leave me alone. You’re here until you’re gone this I know. I’ll enjoy you for as long as your feelings are validated with hope. It’s a win win for me. I do not plead…

claim the end...

Once you’ve bored yourself with me after giving me a watered down version of what you say you have to offer. Moving on to find the next thing that’ll never make you happy as you pounce from this one to that one looking for another luv’r. It’s been nice to have known you. Now shove off and float face down. Goodbyes are forever and like ghosts that don’t exist, there’s no coming back to life. Listen to the way it sounds. Dig your grave and lay with the snuggle of dirt as I cover you with the luv in which you came from. Be as still as the disbelief you’ll cause my expressions trying to redirect luv. Just don’t be afraid to find you someone who didn’t expect you to grow. A sucker to tell you yes, as if you’ll be satisfied with the bitch you’ve created him to be before you leave him alone. It’s in the way of modern women is why men just wanna fuck. Just long enough to be superficial so that the solitude is to comfort the trust. But say it with a smile that you can’t reshape. I'll shit a good smirk that no longer speaks a familiar name. Come, get what you’ve came for so I can pass some time. I like being single in between the bafoonery of fake gestures that mount up to worthlessness that create the obscenities of my life. You’re a plaything as I’m supposed to need hurt when you go away. Although, the only thing that’ll bother me is giving up my freedom until you’re done acting out your game. So, who’s getting played? I’ll have my cock in more than your face. You’ll receive a cheap emotional thrill prior to looking onward to what else is out there. And I won’t care. I’ll fill your void so I can touch you in ways you tell the next fella he’s the best you’ve ever had. I just hope you cum and go fast. So I can get back to doing what I wanna do with myself. No, you’ll never be felt. You’re not the type that knows what it takes to earn a friend. So do what you do and claim the end…

I'm not me...

It’s who I’ve mutated into is why I must go. I’m not me by you as this I know. I have to leave you here with the ghost of me. I don’t like who I’ve become none the less. There’s a version of me that I’ve forgotten how to be. And I’m going back to what makes sense to how this reads. Somewhere, I’m not a stranger in my own reflection . Bcuz it’s me when I’m with you that I forget to mention. So I’m loosening up emotions too get a better feel. So I can accept me for someone who’s real. Alive and in the mood to live. I have more of life to give. To another that isn’t you when they define my luv. I’m giving up on you prior to there's nothing left of me to trust. I need the friend within these writings that cannot hide. I’m tired of doing time in my mind. Going over the possibilities that possess my will to survive. I want to do be me again. And I cannot do that here in the making of a monster with unstable hands. It’s me or it’s you. All I want is to call a truce. So, I can fit the molding of me as I fade from growth or actually bloom into worth. For this place is stagnant as fuck and I feel alone. But it’s the missing person I cannot locate that I've never seen. Due to it was me I halted to please your dreams. I’m not happy. I stopped laughing. I’m not a twisted mystery waiting on a magician's trick to change me. I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating from this person mimicking who I am. Of this imposter I am not a fan. I gotta go. I havta find my flow…

let down...

I can’t even get into my heart, what makes you think it’ll let you in? It doesn’t trust me and you’re a stranger. Imagine the solitude that comforts the texture within. I’ve tried to relate with the feel but I’m on the outside just wanting another chance. I guess averted puts you in the mix of wanting to dance. My emotions are stubborn enough to kill me before I’m to ever open up. That alone should tell you what you’d havta be for me to convince myself that you’re any different than the eventual pain that turns off luv. I’m a man and I hate being tougher than any hands that’s ever touched me but I’m I'm forced to stop. I went too deep and learned a few things about me that have been in the makings of having a use. My mind knows what to do, it’s just my thumper doesn’t need a so called friend to pull the plug on forever prior to it living the proof. If I’m broken in your eyes, I’d suggest you leave me be. There’s no easy way to get you to free me from the shackles in my dreams. I’ll agree with you bcuz my pulse is a flatline to say the least. All I know is how to stand on my own two misguided feet. Call me a let down and shuffle yourself into a new reality without me to somewhere you can get what you're so deserving of. I’ll remain here, moving slowly to the rhythm of my own beat vibing with lusts I can’t trust. But I won’t havta open up my chest as if I have the key. My vibe can’t be felt as I refuse to lead. I will I ever follow another for they’re on their own path. It’s ok though bcuz relations move so fast. One day joy is a serum to dive in to as the next is words that don't know the meaning of hush. As the drowning tears chase away the memory as loose fingers throw up a duece. That’s when the endless cycle returns to unchain the melody lost in between the ribs cage. Creating an expression that can't be faked in which is smeared upon the face...

simultaneously in motions...

No one actually luvs anyone else. They luv the feeling they get when they’re holding another. As thoughts roam freely through the mind, emotion rises to the occasion. Making it easy for free will to do things for another. Things happen and primes move on to express what’s going on within them to someone new. The cycle repeats by claiming luv is shared when in fact no one can truly feel any other creating their own version on desire. There’s not one single individual that isn’t in luv with themself. For there’s multiple types that can help self to ignite a feel of joy. But without the inner makings taking part there’s simply nothing there. Self hasta be aware of the phases we go through on our own. Allowing a fresh start with a stranger to feed the endorphine's hope that it’ll last in an imaginary forever. We’re delusional to save ourselves the pain of being simultaneous creatures. Willing to interact to gain access to a better version of who it is we hide from a world that has no mercy. To luv who we are is to show others we’re capable to treat them as we treat ourselves. Red flags can give indications to leave certain chameleons alone. As we face off within relations attempting to relate with a friend who’s gonna leave one day. When it comes back around, the curtain closes for the world to see. And the mind folds into chapters trying not to forget lost dreams...

To you, I don't exist...

Don’t come to me when I won’t know you’re near enough to touch me. If I cannot awake just know, what I’ve come to accept you as is written in stone. My calling isn’t your excuse to say goodbye one last time. If you’re not here don’t bother with the half hearted bs you hide behind as I lay as still as still can be. Worth doesn’t come after the facts of use that was never shown. We’re not even associates so claiming we were ever friends would be yet another bold face lie. Don’t ever cry for a stranger you didn’t care to know. I won’t be to awake at the wake you need to be absent at. Verbalizing that, my truth is I’m better off knowing you don’t exist. For outta my head you’re finally gone. No more memories, no delusions, no bs. If I’m free don’t appear before the ones I luv. You don’t belong in the same room mourning their loss. Have some fuckin respect for once in your life. You don’t deserve to witness my last moments of what everyone will remember of me. You can’t comfort anyone in my life. And you're regrets don’t matter so live with them as I sleep. I’m not weak I just won’t have the capability to defend myself as you whisper in the crowd. Like the breeze you flow so just fuck off and enjoy out living me. It’ll be a smile I’m sure you’d be proud of. One last laugh at my expense is what I do expect. Do you and leave me alone…

I gained me…

For you to miss out on me is for you to be willing to miss out on me. And you’re not here with me where I rest as you reside over there somewhere living the dream. I often wonder if you’re just a lingerer lost, only allowing strangers to touch you long enough until you relocate. Maybe you’re just a selfish individual who hasn’t found that friend in the mirror missing. Writing the smile on your face so you can live under a spell so devastating. It’s possible I was just a moment shared that was merely a stepping stone to comfort your feet. As your life is for you to spend, in which ever way it gathers its means. I once held you in my grasp that’s listened to the feel of you being gone. As no one as of yet has gotten past the wall that protects the memory of you that’s gone wrong. Missing from this newly founded life is you not missing a single thing about me. If you did, it would be known and there’d be a joy that sets my emotions free. But that’s all in the getting over someone that lied straight faced to a friend in ruins that never had a chance. My brief interruption wasn’t much on an impact for us to continue our dance. I’m just an afterthought to the one my heart couldn’t help but to choose. As it was I that was refused. Belittled and befriended by the ultimate choice of preference that you were in my eyes. And now all I have is time. To wait out this life trying to get you off of my mind somehow. I’m no one to you, I know this to be a factual, although it’s profound. For I’ve watched others come and go in your presence and I can’t help but to be confused. It’s always their fault with the same outcome as your flaws luv to be the recluse. I see you the way you don’t see me prepping what you can’t admit to yourself. I’m the only one that was there to help me, I simply wasn’t felt. If we're the lesson I needed to round out my mind. I learned a lot by entertaining your true intent so I could better comprehend worth’s reason to why. I continuously played the part at least one more time bcuz of who I was, as I was someone no one could get to. It was a must for me to endure the meaning of compassion as my composure had to create a sense of use. I was untouchable until I opened up to a luv’rs smile that had nothing to give in return. But oh, how it hurt. How you gave to me the one thing you didn’t realize you had to share with me other than the way you flirt. Betrayal. It was unveiled. As the old me was unalived. For you were no longer mine. As nowadays I cling to the experience bcuz I came from it a reasonable man. With the knowledge of participation being everything that lasts as long as it can, while it can. I obtained me in the journey of luv awakening the stagnant version of myself that was never asleep at the wheel. I live as I'm alive and I've got me now, with the consideration of another wanting to partake in something to feel. In a sapiosexual way where physical sexually is a plus. Without you shunning me and me willingly to seeing how far you’d take me in a detour as you still insist on a woman is someone to trust…

Halting compatibility…

Drama is like buzzards circling over your head. Looking down, patiently waiting for their time to feast. Wanting communications to be dead so bellies can fill on others demise to say the least. It’s your way or no way on a verbal scale of who can talk louder so the breaths scent of differences is to be attacked. As the volume within conversation never fail to ignite frustration. I’ve done the math and far back and watched you destroy relations within inner circles with infuriation. Irritated by others in their own mindset is a trigger for you as I’m well aware. Being a half a heartbeat left from your pulse being activated in real time only drives a wedge.  Say you care, but deep down you know even the surface of your face changes as you walk good intent to the ledge. I’ve come to witness the realization that you do not possess the skills to coexist through mutual respect. You’re so offended, no matter who speaks of an alternate version of frustrations come about. Tones flip a switch in moments where conversation turns away from twisted content on the tongue of a serpent spitting venom through sound. It’s always a combative issue with you. Halting compatibility as others refuse to get close enough to fully accept the script you have to tell as you to play. As I myself am toeing the line on removing you from my sanity that’s questioning me due time, I entertain the chaos I swore I’d never allow to take place. You can’t relate in times of toxicity showing its azz. As the severity of your own creation is bypassed when your fingers point at others believing you're a lost cause. Your past is still embedded in your every word spoken but you insist you’ve changed to become a better person as you’re honestly trapped in your flaws. No on's perfect. No one is going to go sing with the shockwave after so long if dealing with your kind. It’s not that you ain’t worth it, it’s just your presence interrupts their peace of mind…

self aware...

Luv is final as it will die. But after the fact of moving on as if being reincarnated, what is it you’d wanna remember for life? Or is it, who is it you’d wanna be remembered for? Once you’ve turned and walked outta someone’s need for more. Whispers will follow you as to remind yourself of who you are in the now. So how is it you tend to act in ways in which will make you look back ever so proud? Character isn’t a functional character here in the makings of coexisting. Emotion fades like vanity as both become horrifying in time due to there’s only the entitlements of resisting. Eventually we must face ourselves with a slew of truths gathered along the way. As in the afterlife, where moving on we take with us what we can never escape. Mentally we’re aware of our own dysfunctions of trial and error. But at some point, what we’ve learned hasta be present in how we move before Paul becomes the barer. The good moments will pass to resurface more than a few again and agains that regurgitate goodbyes. So why do we allow what will transform us negatively into a monster telling versions of lies? We’re not virgins who are new to how things can play out. As tongue need not be one sided in the downfall of hope clinging to the beat of the heart pounding so loud. To enjoy whatever comes and goes is repetitively insane. So, is self just waiting on another irreversible ending to place the blame? As to be in between worlds that resemble relations is supposed to be the correction phase so we attract the likeliness of a likeminded individual that’s lived through their own shame. There’s no need in squandering the brief self reflection that creates a better sense of who we claim to be just wanting to avoid the pain. Bad decisions linger from one universe to another. If you can relate, that’s one person’s perception of reality to another’s as we slither simultaneously through spaces void to touch every single and multiple luv’r. Tension exists through distasteful tongues that tell tales of who self only claims to be. Or is it, the truth is everything words penetrate to remain emotionally deep?

The nurturer and the caveman…

Why not be the emotional aspect I try to express? You could be the representation of who I am as the man in me is safe to fight this world away. My softer side can live through you as you’nt havta get beaten down ever again. Be the peace that compliments who it is I need to be. A replica I cannot show for the weakness of a man is measured by his stance confirming leading the way. With someone like you I'd have a confident confidant to watch my back if I’m to need a second wind to acknowledge another angle I may have overlooked. I’ll be the bad guy every time if you’d use your femininity to sooth the feel of you I possess inside. Know that you’d exist in my mind and be the reason I should open up. There’s a gentler version of myself only a certain type will ever witness. For I’m not everyone’s plaything to toss about my secrets and details. Level up to privacy and protection from your own natural intent. Be the woman as I’ll be the simplicity of what a man truly is. Just like me before you, like me bcuz there’s a good chance if you don’t this will never work. That’s when the respect breaks down and a friend mutates into an enemy. And there’s combative egos that I have to deal with daily that I don’t want to entertain as it is. Having another disruption isn’t a desire but a nuisance I simply cannot allow. I’m ok with you enjoying me as I become a safe space for you to evolve. As I make the hard decisions so your feelings don’t cloud your judgement. And if I get a few of them wrong you’re not to blame. For you’ve merely stepped back to coexist for our strengths to be active. You’re a nurturer by design. I’m a caveman gaining wisdom to share. Nothing more, nothing less. These terms if accepted could gain a real friend for life…

Woman vs woman…

Face shots. I know your ego is sore. My blank stare is an idgaf. Creating your gestures of discomforted expressions that shows I’m under your skin. Just by being me I win and I don’t have it in me to play that game. You’re triggered and I figure ours your issue displayed across your face. As the silly side of me wonders what you’d do if I were to whip my around in your direction real fast. To see if I can get you to jump off the ledge in your mind. Bcuz hope you’re looking at me confirms I bother you. So for the giggles let’s say I give a lil tudage when I look you up and down. Are you just wanting to hate me from a far? Or is it, there’s jitters beneath the surface that you wanna get off your chest? Mood swings. Are you feeling a certain type of way? Dies my presence infuriate your mindset. Bringing hate along for the ride of emotional distortions. Why are you glitching? Becoming a different version of who you were before I walked in the room. Is your silence that gives you away. The reflection of e in your eyes not entertaining your childish behavior. The only reason I noticed you was bcuz I needed to bypass you. I don’t even know you. Haven’t even thought about it. Your demeanor is just off. It’s a violation of the moment we crossed. Bitter sweet. You’re ugly and I’m living it up. Complications of my best life AB’s the worst response. I wouldn’t wanna live inside of you. To be trapped behind that mug is prolly why that smear on you wear is worn upside down. I’m not that important to you in the way I could care less to even sigh on your behalf. Girl please. Go find a sunset to be mad at…

Stepping…

I ain’t moving. Stepping to the side isn’t an option and I’m not the type to be drooling. But I dare you to turn away. Bcuz life with or without you will be popping as I get on with my day. Bring me struggles or attempt to drag me down. If you’re willing to tempt me to hold you accountable I won’t frown. Do your thing and watch me live. You or no one else will ever be more than life can give. We can enjoy it together and find us. Turn likes into the possibilities of luv. But I ain’t half stepping myself to pease your insecurities acting out in verbal violence. Be a woman in your own way and this thing we do can speak in silence. I’ll tell you once on what it’ll take and that’s ask the details you’ll ever need. It’s on you from then on to be my peace. Otherwise, the first time you overstep your space I’ll step over you getting to going where I intent to end my days. I’m not hung up on emotions when I have an existence craving everything from the mountains to the oceans waves. Who’s with me matters to a point but anyone who comprehends the truth of use will do. If no one wants to be and let be I’ll drift on the planes as I move. Being alive ain’t shit to me. I’m comforted by the ease that comes with the pleasure of doing what I want. So don’t get you hooks into me for I can’t be caught by vanities crush. As wherever can be home at any given moment to sit for a while. Trust me when I tell you, I don’t need to to smile. I’ve been doing it on my own for as long as I’ve been alive. But if you wads calm down and breathe I have the time. We’re here and the mood fits the scenario for the scenery to fill the void to relax for a few. But I ain’t afraid to speak on inconsistencies that I havta waste a breath on as if you’re new. I ain’t down playing you, I’m just gonna be honest from the get go of anything ever transforming from strangers crossing paths. Bcuz one day we too will pass. Until then imma be real with myself. I’m the only one who feels what I feel so it’s me that’s the only one I seek help. You’re just an additive to make life more of a soothe. So live loose. Stepping could be a good thing or a final page. I know who I’ll be to you with the expressions upon your face. Words need not demands but whispers flowing so easily are a must. If it ain’t natural I don’t want your type of luv…

Realizing worth…

What of the moment I realize I couldn’t hate you even if I tried? Would you cry for me in my honesty created by simply loving living life? If you were the happiness added to my own accord moving with the breeze. Could you see me witnessing you without being on my knees? I’m accountable bcuz I’m the only one I cannot cut out of my mind in which is where you live regardless if you stay or not. If there was no softer side of me without you would you believe there’s no altered reality for me to make my thoughts stop. As you linger in my head on and endless quest to ease the way I feel. How would you respond if I told you this is real? But I havta remain me. Without the lies that you’re forever as we adjust to truths of ghosts of dreams. False hopes aren’t a part of the usefulness of your touch. And it’ll take me some time to even dip my toes into luv. No matter how deep you wanna dig into my chest. It’s easier to ride a mentality to relate to interests to invest. So we ain’t regretting a loss and referring to a past lost. Bcuz we forgot to pause. Help yourself feel what you can’t hide. I’ll be the witness to how we play out in the middle of life. Slowly floating down the pulse and eager to ease into the heart. Let’s just say, I know my part. You don’t havta remind me of my intent at any giving point to reassure yourself. If you see me, accept you’re more emotional than I am but I can be felt. I do feel only what I can as you do. We’re never gonna be on the same wave at the same exact time so. If you knew of the words I don’t speak of. Would you see through me and realize it’s not just some lust. For who you are to me is for me to know. As I’m who you’re gonna imaging me as someone you hold. If you’re a come and go I’ll be sitting with the memory until I adjust. The realist shit is moving targets eventually take an arrow and fall for luv. To hear names softened to intensify intent. So what if I come to a crossroads where we normalize our scents? Could you, would you, should you, believe I’d be content to walking with you? Until you’ve alerted my mind in which you’ve entered to work loose. If I admitted you’re behind my eyes doing things I didn’t was imagine again. If I just wanted to be a man. Of the response I wonder. Bcuz from the threshold of the next level everything changes. And comforts fades into the hands of a luv’r holding on for how long? In the beginning I never thought of the end until I realized I cannot go wrong. But what if I am? Who’s gonna hurt more after we land? Imma go my way and you’ll find another to fill your days. That’s the way it goes so who’s truly claimed? It’s then when remembering slowly becomes vague. But the remains of an us will remind us from time to time of a face. Trapped in age is someone from days to years ago. But what if I’m not afraid to live through the many different types of moans and groans? Taking a chance to better life. Getting past the mental illusions of the early hype. If you were a friend what would I miss out on if I said nothing at all? When your voice could be, would be, should be, ricocheting off the walls. In my truths I teeter on an us. Upright and laying flush. But if you knew these details of my pulse that crawls through me when you’re near. You’d know I’m at the doorstep inviting you in without fear…

Never hated…

I’d honestly enjoy a few moments with you but I don’t want it to go to far. It would be nice to touch and feel my way around your sighs although I refuse to hurt your heart. I want you, I crave you. The sensation is a surge within. But if we get too close hate will soon be waiting in times way with the fading of our grins. I daydream of scenes played out in the reels on my mind. And even though my thoughts lack the physicality of our bodies being flush, my pulse takes flight. Oh how I’d come alive if we were to ever coexist briefly. Not that you’re not worth it, it’s just there’s no point in forcing a healing what needs not broken so stay happy. Everything ends. All good things take their turn and wind up elsewhere in an eventual circumstance where the situation is as similar to holding a right now kinda friend. So, from afar I remain silent in my fixation so I’m not the bad guy in your head. I’m possibly cheating us both outta a chance to adjust for the presence of an us but at least you don’t wish me dead. I’d rather keep it subtle and pretend not to be excited whenever you’re near. I can’t help but to wanna cling to you in ways we’d transform who we are in real time, captured in a picture as if it were a mirror.  Life hung on a wall would be great. Hearing your voice daily could be the great escape. I have a soft spot for you that makes me hard. Hope, passion, lusts, the lingering of all and the above I witness in your charm. I’ll prolly never be the me I need to be if I don’t speak of these things. But I’ll always be someone to you if I stay this version of myself and not just some fling. 

The fuck…

Let’s talk about it. Care. How many fucks do you actually have to give? When reverting back to self to making sure you’re ok. Like a revolving door allowing emotions to come and go. Honestly, we’re just looking after our own well being when it’s all said and done. Loosening up to coexist for moments as we accumulate memories so we don’t feel so alone. But like faces that transform from one luv’rs shape to the next and the one that comes after and so forth. We’re the only one that remains through it all. Having just enough compassion for others until it’s cut off time. Then if they die, so be it if that’s what occurs. How many fu’s will it take to counter that cloud floating high in the sky as we fall like the rain? Back to the beginning of the reevaluating circumstances to move on in a different mindset on who’s who in this world. We can relate and we can decide who’s worth a fuck. For so long they’ll play the part until they don’t feel like self anymore. When the feeling fades from the texture of the heart. We’re all just strangers who have met that are on our own quest to live it up. So how many lies can you tell another’s reassurance that wants a norm to fit? The tongue don’t care if you listen to it when no one’s around. Truths are truth in the silence in which we hide. There’s only certain fucks that amount to anything. Fuck you, fuck off, fuck me, fuck it. Being fuckin done just means self won’t turn on self. Giving clarity that proves luv is selfish. For fuck’s sake, just hear the usefulness of the facts. Maybe then you’ll appreciate life from a mindset that makes sense as it happens. Knowing periodically the good shines through to be seen by eyes that are not of or own. As someone else is testing their own fucks to live for a while…

Fuck fitting in.

Living in the hood is like clocking in to work. Act accordingly or else you’ll lose your worth. It’s where 100 is fake as no one truly likes one another. As barber shops talk like women as if they’re luv’rs. Every walk of life finds they’re way down to the gutters for the drugs. As the dealers are the enemy praised when there’s no such thing as trust. The harshest thing is it’s where racism thrives the most. Hidden behind the hate of tongues is recognized as a burn to boast. The good ones stay to themselves as the wild animals scavenge the weak. And coming together is only when the news tends to speak. The thoughts process of being a narc is absent when the code will kill. The ghetto is a trap for the mental to lose itself to the chills. It’s a cheap moment to bounce back quick if the location is right. Aside from that it’s for bottom feeders to cross paths and fight. White chicks want a 2pac and black men don’t wanna deal with the loud immaturities of garbages that teenage their mom. White dudes are just odd. They have no day off fitting in without turning on they’re own. White folks don’t like white folks in a place where acceptance isn’t shown. Down in the trenches win create a humbleness or a savage to mimic their surroundings. As I can only imagine hire this is sounding. The gates to the swamp are broken but very few every leave. And when they do, most range with them that same dumbed down mentality. Doing the filth like the plague. Wondering why they doing fit in to another form if society that gives an equal hate. It isn’t about change or becoming an individual who rounds out to find self. It’s a hypocrisy as two works collide and smiles melt. Even the rich look down on the so called rich. As those self proclaimed rich don’t fit in their skin. Egos across the board play the same manipulative game. Save face. As no one in the outside is looking to teach anyone anything without the dollar in a slide of hand. They can’t let anyone else have the upper hand. Through and through, every level has sell outs. Cop outs. Busters And not in a way where people

Gone to soon…

She said, when the end comes for this to be over. Know, I don’t wanna die first so you are forced to move on with another luv‘r. She asked, could you do such a thing? My reply wasn’t for her heart to be removed as a fling. Although honestly this is life and eventually imma do what comes natural to who it is I am. Her eyes looked at me with confusion as if I was lesser of a man. The thought of me accepting her fate if she were to go first change in the comprehension it took to relate to what I spoke of. I told her, you can only luv the living for it still has that rush. As to missing those who’ve crossed over when they’re gone too soon is a dream that eventually fades. I wish I could’ve rearranged the expression that took control of her face. But I live in the real world and promised never to lie. Especially when all we have is imaginary time. She stood still for a bit staring off into the sunset and then whispered. But am I worth it in the here of the now as she feared I wouldn’t miss her. Every moment until you leave me here to redefine my emotions is what came from my lips. She chuckled with a smile as pulled me near. Closer than the feel of home as we were motionless upon that pier. We swayed with my arms wrapped around her until the sun was outta sight. That’s when she realized life itself could be gone in the blink of an eye. As the darkness pains the feels to remember the loss of a friend so rare. Tears fell as she struggled to say, we better make the most of this so just show me you care. She was captured by luv. I reached down and kissed her cheek as our faces touched. She pressed into me and I squeezed her tight. Right then I woke up and released the deepest sigh…

Simultaneously…

Quick pleasing and easy. There’s only two likes needed that matters in which can evolve if given the moment to enjoy a lil calm to heavy breathing. Freely feeling the me version of remains that isn’t deceiving. Meanings believing and agreeing. Seeing eye to eye through the leveling of the mind’s reason of why the heart isn’t grieving. Simply just cheesing during an evening so relieving. Winging self into the openness screaming from the hinges creaking. Thinking the convo isn’t so cheaply gathered and spat out to be convincing. Fluctuating words speak with a pulsating motion on the lip’s vulnerable to the flavor so tasty. As pretty meats handsome to engage to witness what’s deserving of emotions descending. Never pretending to cover for the eluding of truths embedding facts in the memory. Fast soothing and entertaining. Capturing the kindest me intrigued by purity on display for usefulness to relate willingly. Tongues shape sounds vibing through currents as two individuals flowing simultaneously. Bypassing insecurities insanity to be consciously aware as desire’s consistency. Taking turns verbalizing a standpoint of harmonizing sexuality. As the arousing definitely and enjoyably remembers the notes spoken to enter infinities metaphorical immortality. Connectivities disciplinary activity. Reliance of the inner makings determines adjustability to attract and interact with luv’s sensitivities. It ain’t no mystery. Just chivalry.

One nerve at a time…

It’s the way you walk. How your body moves in motion. Mmm hmm. Up the wall I go with the lotion. My hands just wanna feel on you. Sliding across your skin. Molesting every inch of you as I find my use to give. Fingers smoothly flowing with your curves. Slowly enjoying the feel as you relax in my hands., it’s you that gives worth to this man. As you sigh as your eyes close. You’re such a beauty sight to my eyes. As my fingertips tighten to release with the pleasure of being alone with you outside of my mind. I’ll be your masseuse and cater to your comfort. As I confess this infatuation of you in my heart. All I want is more than knowing you to do my part. The excitement of touch crawls through me. Your presence gives a purpose to opening up. It’s more than a sexual dream playing with you in lust. Even though I wanna lay with you the nude. With our mashed bodies flush as the air between us has no space. Damn, easy I would do to kiss on you too see the reaction of my upon your face. I’d take my time. With the patience of desire to create us. Wrapped up together in a moment here at life to pause with luv. To smile for a bit. To forget everything around you and I. For it’s your strut that led me to realize the gift of a woman is the essence of internal ride. Oh how you captivate my thoughts. As the details of you sway with ease. With you I’m never lost s as you fulfill my breathe released. So just turn around and take a stroll as I follow you wherever you wanna go. I promise not to look away. And when you stop I’ll catch up so you’ll knot I admire the way you’re shaped. For my fixation resides in the physical first and foremost. I crave you in ways that anything could be possible. As my secret is hope, that soon enough your moans will be likable. I’m so jealous of the cool sheets get tucked in between your thighs. Shaping you in a soothe. The urge of you I cannot fight as it needs to be let loose. As I offer you my palms to land upon as the floating butterfly you are. You bring someone that resembles me to life inside of my depths. Like the flutters in my heart created by it wings that fly freely in my chest. I went me some of you. Truthfully I can’t wait to embrace it standing still. To pulsate with your vibe’s boom that changes my free will. Just stay two steps ahead of me so I can admire your waltz. As I cling to the visual on display. As your azz fluctuates from right to left ins trusted pattern without a flaw as I’m tamed. You’ve awakened me. The attraction is being real. I wish to never go blind bcuz if I only had access to your dimensions in my dreams I’d never heal. I’m passionate about hot your legs computer to take the lead. One in front of the other causes my tongue to roll. And if you were to ever feed me what you hide in between then, this story of how you did more than tip toed into my life would begin to unfold. 

Proof…

It all looks pretty but what’s it worth? Maybe I haven’t crossed over or possibly I have and retreated back to a better sense of norm. Who cares either way? What if I can’t feel anything from the depths of my core? Will it be me that puns me from my figurative hell? Or someone else to revive me to remind me I’m just a fool as if I’m willing to dive in to eventually drown. Is it safer here in my train if thought by repeating fuck them all? It seems they’re all the same so why entertain a smile that’ll fade in time’s lost memory as I’m left to frown? Serious topics call for answers no one is capable of giving straight. Everyone’s in a moment until it passes memories down along the way. So if it’s relatable, why be fake? Hi, bye. That was sweet, leave me alone. Don’t fight the cause. Just delete me from your dreams. It’s in the feel of moving on that matters the most. New is always greater than the feel of something real. If I’m on this side and you’re over there wanting me to be a silhouette of all things. What makes you believe I’m into the confusion that’ll crawl upon your face once I’m not your type of comforting feel? I’m one man lingering bcuz it’s peaceful as fuck. Without emotions poking at my heart for a brief second before it’s trying to figure life out. Tell me, what is it you want from me? Let’s come to terms of the mere sound. Listen you lips to the movement it’ll take to tell the truth. Vaginal exposure isn’t enough but feelings being in the way of my sanity living as my proof…

Your prettiest…

Can’t you just be beautiful as if I was blindly seeking a home? Or even speak to me without words? When your depths are prettier than vanity could ever bless. That’s when touching without fingertips brings out my heart’s best. Your sting will create whispers in my mind no matter what your intent. You can’t just pillow talk me with a stare at my expense. It’s the pure feminine nature of your truths that will define how I’ll respond. Don’t allow time to shut out an opposing version as I redeem the bond. Come from within your true form and don’t be afraid to be seen. Knowing that you won’t switch up will set me free. Loosening the reigns so we can emotionally dance to our conjoined beat. Will you just be as real as the skin in which you live? We all have a usefulness where we wanna share secrets with a tickle in the rib. Show me how your thoughts are to play out as you think of me. Come forth from your mind’s elusive daydreams. Give a few pieces of yourself that I’m eager to witness. To enjoy you as an honest desire to coexist by admiring you at your prettiest. True beauty if done right comes from beneath the surface where we tend to hide. Can you not pretend who you are or are you just another lie?

Twist your tongue…

If you’re gonna mouth off, make it relatable. If it ain’t dirty it’s just too debatable. Let your tongue move and say words that create a sigh. Tell me of all the lil thoughts you hide in your mind. I’ll listen to hear if you’re the type I crave. As the sound of your obscenities might turn a smile on my face. I can’t force you to speak but I can encourage every I see in your eyes. Taste test the feel of exposure as your lips drip truths to get me there hype. Your voice alone could free desires felt in a kiss. Or would you rather endure my hands gripping your hips? As whispers on it neck will undo what this world has done to you. At least for a lil while, while I tinker with hours you enjoy being abused. But let me express the irritable kinks beneath your flesh. At this point I’m just a set of ears waiting in wonder of if we mesh…

You lost…

Pulled by the trigger attached to sized words. The squeeze released a decimal that pierced the ears that heard a fucked up sense of numb. A single breath can blow me into a distant life. As lips shape an o to form a wind tunnel that blew my mind. Wanting something other that d wasn’t that hard to decide after all. Taking one image to exchange a truth as we came to a halt. With a bang so silent it ricocheted off the memories it should’ve killed first. Bcuz alive isn’t a fantasy I wanted embedded behind my eyes s as I thought it was a kiss aimed at my worth. Puckering up you have a new meaning to freedom in my moment of disbelief. You made it hard as fuck for me to breathe. Your tongue didn’t even move as the gesture simply stated, be gone. I was somewhere I didn’t belong. As the heat from rising your lungs carried a harsh ease as I was blown away. And you did it so close as we were face to face. The stare captured the moment like a picture frozen in time. Disregarded as if the air I use to live was just too good for me. Do I go pffft bcuz you wanted me to leave? Shattering my dreams as your reality differed from words that back tracked through every mile. So fuckin what if I was trapped in your smile. As the nibble of the lips was just a bullet with my name etched into an eternity waiting for me to fall. Giving the emotions that followed to be the teachings of a friend gone wrong. Careless like the wind that chooses to be calm when no matter Evers what’s in its path. As gentle as the flow the impact can reek havoc with it a storm that faces the facts. Off to the next best thing to give you your war was the agenda from the start. But you failed to realize I had it in me at one time to luv someone straight from the heart. I listened just long enough to expect nothing less than to evolve. Sooner or later I’d find myself recovering as we dissolved. Like a breeze so pleasant that must end such a beautiful thing. Relationships are just extended flings. Using metaphors to relate to situation that come and go. So come hold your breath thinking I’ll ever be alone…

Umm…

Waiting on what? Living for trust? Hiding behind luv? Paranoia much? Pretending a fuck? Battling with vanities crush? Wanting tasteless lusts? According what was? Vocals touching the tongue? Going until it’s done? Who’s the one? Who won? In the middle of the fun? Thoughts revolving love a gun? Heart accepting the numb? What a rush? Felt and flesh? Words hushed? One two three busts? Bursting nuts? What’s after the hunt? Boredom of such? Wassup? Why so blunt? Who’s to believe the moans that cum? Are nerves rubbed? Leaving is stepping to the front? Enjoying the just? Dust to dust? One plus? Burnt by the sun? Flame on huh? Hearts been rung? Can’t blush? Looking for an us? What a fuss…

Trust this…

Trust is such a hard thing to swallow. True intent exposes the heart left hallow. Even the I.V. drips dry the thirst gets real. If you’re here today, ok, I’ll believe that much until I’m forced to heal. Bcuz losing friends is something I’ve known all my life. As emotions slide from the face from time after time. Enjoyed you’ll be for as long as luv lasts. Just don’t do to much and lose yourself to wind up in my past. That’s where use opens up the mind. And self becomes aware of all the lil petty lies. Those that you fend off in a forever never reached your true luv. So ease on up on falling into a rush. Comfort sometimes gets boring as fuck. But the one that’ll rest in the balance will be clutch. Eyes may not know what they’re a witness to. Wanting anything more exciting as you’ll call a truce. Moving up and down on someone else’s dick. Him moving in and out while you rub your clit. As the tongue dives deep to come up with the same ol words. Speaking of how you’ve both found worth. It’s for the believers and not the fact seekers that pretend to go along with feelings leading the charge. Claiming the whole time you mean no harm. As the red flags add up in your mental stability going astray. You’ll think of me as I’m not the one who is afraid. There’s moments when all of our characters become someone else. And then it’s back to who we truly are as no one is felt. Rarely riding the hype in slow mo. It’s always gimme a gimmick until covers are blown. Honesty is singing you meaningless thrill shortly lived in luv. As the precise second will enlighten everything hushed. So handle with care of what you possess. Charm has a weird sense of humor that may lack a bit of interest. Most of everyone are as selfish as deceit lurking just outta view. And that’s when you lose. As what you’ve altered to tango hasta revert to living loose. To gather distance that has fallen from within. Damn near daring you to live. The feel of switching gears just might stall you out. To fade outta sight to correct the mindset needing not to be so loud. And you’ll think of me as you comprehend why I let you go. Your head is your true home not just anyone is allowed to roam freely in your space. As everything you encounter revolves around your thought process. It’s you in this world nonetheless. Attempting to find that groove that you don’t havta grind in the trenches. Hoping one day your offensiveness isn’t so defensive. I trust that if you’re here I’d open up until you’ve decided otherwise. Then it’s back to life…

The opening…

Creatively speaking, let’s talk off topic. Tongues need not need be tamed for the mind to unleash the hearts feel lingering in lingos of logic. I like the slang of differences that step to the knowing of an us. Coexist, it isn’t as hard to mingle in the moment resting on a chest as emotions create luv. In an emotional state of feeling something rare enough for a second take. Just ease up and figure a thought to relax and witness a friend who’s self made. Something on the lines of who it appears you’ve become. Do us both a favor and enjoy the rush. The simplicity in human intent. I may be rambling but damn if I ain’t in tune with the syncing of your heart sent over my way to tell me which way you’ve went. So I know the path taken to relate to a better cause played out. Tell me, how’s that sound? Beautifully, we can be envied by others we don’t see looking at our vibe. I invite you to luv living life. Climb outside my mind and rehearse a spectacle outta sight. I’m pivoting to tell you words to catch you up to speed with me so you can reach me in real time. Give a man with an opening in his heart a second to feel a woman worth the thrill. If you will, I will…

Fuck me…

Let’s burn the night down. Let us singe with the ash of the wood barricading us behind these walls. Going mmmm, come here. Amazed with the touch felt through sensitive nerves eager to please in a descending fall. Into the flames we should dive. Loosening to the heat as we shed our clothes. Naked and engulfed in desires as the fire wraps us up, tucked away from life. Naughty me, dirty lil you. Creating a blaze that’ll make sweat evaporate. I’ll do my best to make you wet so we survive tonight. This the only thing that’ll save us from attractions fate. Slipping and sliding as our bodies play unselfishly. Sipping on me, tasty lil ol you.  Licked and sliding into the oven for tastebuds to explode. Oh the use. Dripping and in tuned with the vibe reaching for passion’s best. We’re easy to be in the mood. I’m all in no matter how hot the moment gets. Let’s act out our truths. As raunchy and distasteful in any which way we can possibly cross the line. Swim with me. I’ll skinny dip in your depths and control the motion pulsating your throb. Let’s watch the smoke come from our dreams. I’m in sync with the gasoline ignited by your presence entangling me with more than thoughts. We can take our illusion and put them to use. Delusion we’ll follow suit. Bringing clarity to clearer skies come morning once we’ve been sexually abused. The rougher the better to ease the crave. My excitement is your oxytocin released to enjoy the pain. My my my, would you mind? If I, rearranged your face. Mean mug me. Want it as you look back at me needing more. Heavy panting will speak without words. I too am a whore. Under the stars as the fire pit mimics our flow. Dancing with the movement of pleasure lighting up a gasp. Get it, go, feel me deep. You’re too much, I’m just not gonna last. There’s a beauty in me that reciprocates the glowing ora you’ve entered. With boiling pulses we roast for the consumption of us. Sizzling we cook our sexual preferences to perfection. Flickering in the stares we can’t seem to look away from, witnessing luv…

Deserving…

She insisted I bent down for her to give me a kiss. I chuckled and told her to climb on up. Smiling she grabbed ahold of my shoulders as if I were a tree. When she finally got high enough to look me in the eyes she hesitated as I could tell she was in luv. Sliding back down to feel my girth growing on her sweet spot as she gripped tighter with her legs wrapped around me. She looked up with this stare that said she wanted to play. I lifted her up with the man in me, until we were face to face and carried her to the bed. Tossing her about to the pillows as she enjoyed being man handled as she was game. She landed with a bounce and spread her legs to invite me into her realm. By this time I was erect and eager to please. So being me, I crawled my way past her feet. Kissing her knees and to her inner thighs. Feeling her skin on my lips I clinged. Mouth, watering. Hormones awake. Fingertips touching her in ways that arched her back. I slowly passed over where I was supposed to go next as I felt the gentleness of her hand become untamed. I stopped as my sights moved up to her body just passed her breasts. She was nibbling her lip. Pushing me down below her waist. Low enough for my taste buds to chow in between her hips. With the first stroke of my tongue, she moved in acceptance with how I enjoyed the flavor she dripped as I sighed. So, I licked her along the left side of her exposed libia. It tickled a lil bit but she let it slide. As I stroked her with the tip directly on her clit as she herslf sighed. I was just looking for the perfect place to start. To warm her up. So she can feel the desire in the way I lose my breath every fuckin time. As the moans had the walls echoing back into my ears. Body giving feedback in the utmost hormonic way I’ve ever seen in display. We were in harmony as she sung in tongues. Loosening up just to cum. And again she weighed for another until she was wrapped around me so tight. She couldn’t look me in the eyes for they rolled into the back of her head. I went deep. Giving it to her with every which way my pelvis could move. To the last inch as her orgasms ripped loose and the river flowed. I left her limp body laying there to rest once she couldn’t go any more. In total comfort with the release she so needed to fall asleep. She got what she deserved…

Flawed…

I can feel the night shifting with a sway in my favor. I usually pivot to adjust to a tasteful kiss savored. Anxiety ripping through my nerves with an unsettling fear. Oh how I wish the sun would hurry up and come back around so I can get outta here. The lead it’s not me getting on with letting someone down. This is disturbing my silence that’s on the edge heartbeats pounding so loud. I don’t have it in me to luv. Why do I see me in eyes connecting an us? This isn’t the plan for here just isn’t one. Oh, fuck. I gotta get outta the way of an arrow aimed at my chest. I just want it to miss so I can’t be blamed for being a mere guest. Somehow the moment needs to catch a snag in my flaws before comfort eases in. How does the movement of shadows from the flame mimics a grin? I need to slip off into the unknown prior to this finding a way to evolve. Maybe fall into a reason to leave with a problem solved. I don’t have involved music with the circumstances of change. I’m not ready to open the gates. No matter the natural soothe that wants to take control. I just wanna go home. The line is so close to being crossed and I’m not up to the task. I wanna blink and let this be over fast. It’s just past midnight and retreating within. Is it noticeable or is the lights a lil too dim. I’m falling away from hands reaching for a touch. My skin has become numb. I can’t begin to play the part of a different version of me. So why the stare of me by another’s as if they’re attempting to smother me in their dreams. I life being lost on the outter banks of an after thought. One that’s not memorable in the morning that’ll be coming along to expose my flaws. Goodbye is almost on the horizon. I can feel a sigh building in my pulse as I don’t wands be in luv…

shit talks... aaaaaaaaaaaaand?

As the space in between the stars that keep them so far apart. I’ve lost control of my heart. It’s rogue and rubbing on the disappearance of fumes. Barely pulsating with the vibe of being amused. The emotions that supposedly follow it can’t be felt. I’m not broken but I think I need help. I can’t get passion to come back from outta reach. As my dreams don’t fit into my reality. Desires have morphed into a transaction that can’t even be bought. My sighs have been lost. There’s no more jitters ticking the nerve of luv. And the only thing I trust is the making of lust. As my head spins in direction wanting to figure it out. There’s nothing relatable in my chest for feelings but to scream with a shout. Banging on the thumper, trying to revive me once again. I’m no dr and it’s not responding to my hands. One two three, breathe. There’s a flatline as I drift off in a mental state of daydreams. Remembering how I was once so fuckin alive. I guess it’s now a rhetorical goodbye. Possibly. Fuck it and who cares. But do I dare. Do I betray the comfort I seek in life. Or stand firm on entertaining luv as a mime? Fuck if I do or if I don't. You'd prolly think I'm a part time clone. Pretending to swindle you outta what you have to offer in any sense, But that's a belittlement in which irritates my inner subconsciousness. Not that you'd prefer to take notice in how i'm just as human as you. Just fuck it all and be removed. It;s easier to be hate than to be luv'd. words never win when it comes to the push after a good shove. As the deep end is a pleasant way to take a leave. At least on the way down self can breathe. 

try me...

When you go looking for all the pieces of yourself, don’t go trying to find me. I’ll be living the dream of moving on bcuz you failed to so, so just do yourself a solid and fuckin breathe. As I’m on the beaches watching the sunset calm my nerves. Remember I’m no one you need to miss so hold on to your worth. In the here and there more is all I have and imma do me proud. From the cabins in the mountains to a pretty face pointed in my direction so imma be petty and loud. Bcuz if I’m in the throw away box, your memory is dead to me. So, toe the line as I shall and we’ll see where life tends to lead. But if I’m someone you can get over as quick as the next one laying you down, then just go. I can go on my way to find a similarity I'll call home. Somewhere where you can’t find me even if you tried. Doing things you had no interest in doing and that’s no lie. Here's to me, living after you left me for dead, In a fuck it, who cares, sense of

I matter…

If, if, if I were to blow a bubble with you just to step inside of it to see in which way it rolls for us to coexist. There is no manipulation. And it’s fuck off if you by chance bring along that bs you can’t get over called emotional baggage. My circle is itsy bitsy and I refuse to have it disturbed by something I don’t allow when I’m living on my own. As for shunning and shutting down at if you’re a toddler, you can start away from me. I don’t do well with the stranger mentality bcuz you’re in your feelings that can’t get their way. And if sex is a weapon withheld, go be a lesbian. I’m not one to be controlled in any way you see fit with whatever works. It’ll be the end as sin as you get that convertible to pull that simple mindedness. You don’t havta walk on glass unless you break it. And if it’s broke I am not gonna fix it. Good riddance will be the verdict as you get a glimpse of what’s in that mirror shared at your feet. Come with no gimmicks and no lies. As growth transformed you to level up. I’m not fuckin around unless unless you have potential to be what I’d need. As your lil wet spot is just as good as your mouth doing multiple things as the mind is likewise that’s followed by your heart that never leads the charge but guides actions to be real. If I’m gonna be on some other shit that’s not just me you’re either a friend or a foe. There’s no cruising back over if I’m forced to call it quits. Fuck you. Outta the gate I’ll say it first. Step yo the side if you know you’re gonna waste my time. You will be held accountable every step of the way. Or I can go do whatever I want without you. I’ve already encountered the twists that taught me how to respond. I’ve even walked away from a couple of good ones bcuz our worlds didn’t align. I’m living proof that you’re gonna havta be the real you. Or what I’ll havta face the reality of removing your presence from my life. So if you into the belligerent outburst type ad bettering others is ok. Skip rocks bcuz I have no fucks to give. I’m not your pun cushion. I breathe the same as you. I matter…

slow and steady...

Have a lil patience and enjoy the anticipation. Everything plays out the way it needs to. Whether it’s being together or creating distance we’ll find out happiness. Face to face standing and staring down a use. Sway with the movements and try not to lose it.Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Just kiss me in the moment without cold lips. Allow your luv to unfold your heart as you wrap yourself around me. Trust not the fool in me wanting to play it cool. Notice and be witness to the excitement in my eyes. You’ll have a better appreciation for us than any gen or jewel. I’m here and willing to partake in life. Feeling my way through your boundaries I can’t help but to move. I believe you to be a lil bit different than most. So I’ll choose you and flow ever so loose. Yeah, I’m doing a lil thing called hope. Slowly closing in to provide you from within. You just may be the sensation that feels like home. An interest is all it’ll take to evolve beyond sensuous. If we don’t click I’ll leave you alone. Chatter will lead us down a path that matters. To expose the mindset in which we live. Batter batter swing for the better. We can be us and show what it is  that we have to give. As our hidden gestures are merely waiting just below the texture. Silently easing in to coming out and play. We’re not lesser than it best wanting pleasure. I can see it am over your face…

fuck off...

You’re a mimic in which makes you a gimmick. Let’s prove it. Make it female, who’s built the infrastructure of the world? Who’s willing to die to protect? Mother or father, who kills more kids? Mother or father, who kills more kids if abortion wasn’t a pay out the equation? Women do. You can pretend to act like a man all you want but you’ll forever be lesser than what's real men have to offer. You’re still a lil girl playing dress up thinking you’re one of the guys. But you’re just a chuckle in our smirk that you think is a smile. But when you're ready to grow up you come sit a at the big people’s table where we know who we are. We don’t fake the funk you walk and talk over here. We’re not fighting ourselves to identify but are still fight each other if there’s a need to do so. As we couldn’t lay a hand on you if you hit outta line. And we wouldn’t fuck you either bcuz due to your not in touch with your femininity whatever. Not until your feelings override your mouth and mind. But do you. Just know when you’re in a room full of the fellas, you’re not one of us. We know you have tits. Raw truths aren’t supposed to be pleasant. Nor hesitant to state the obvious in an honest way. You’ll never be truly accepted and we’d rather not work with you in a physically demanding scenarios. Stay in your place. Hold that line. You’re not tough. Your demeanor isn’t believable. Your thought process doesn’t compute. Your double X chromosomes don’t align with our xy. It doesn’t mark the spot. Or treasure and our goods are nothing more than sexually compatible. We don’t fear you the way masculinity tests us daily. Or feeling don’t matter as you’re just running from yours. Maybe a man hurt you out possibly you live women. Some of y’all hate men but carry yourselves in a manor where you sacs be one. As if you’d even know how to. Can you or do you even compare yourself to a man in ruins? You only wanna try to relate as you’ll lose if you ever committed to what you could never escape. Bcuz we measure who we are to each other, so we know where we stand. You’re a mere version of weak man. Look in the mirror. Admit what you’ve become. Be the accord of your truths. Cross back over verbally. Consider that the percentage of woman that divorce each other is more than women who divorce men. Are you in character bcuz if this? It is it tie straight but can’t act right? This ain’t a bash. It’s facts. Men aren’t gonna argue with a woman. We don’t care what you think or say. We know it’s our emotion dot like venom. You can’t be trusted. And you're a chameleon thinking you’re blending in. You could be could yourself if you're a loose cannon if that’s the case. Wanting to attempt to overpower men as an ego trip. But if you were a man, the outcome would be different. Disrespect is handled in other physical forms than domestic abuse when in relations or just flat out in a way the society insists men are to be suppressed from beating your azz. You don’t have to use your womb, but you can’t produce life. You just might be everything that you refuse to be. A manipulator. Own it. Try and to better with it fit your character has been lost. This is a man rejecting your attempt to resemble in one way shape or another, to keep on doing what it is you believe is ok. Have a good day.

Dot dot dot…

Dot dot dot. The continuance of me flows so easily. It’s not that anything has never meant much when it comes to luv. It’s just not as serious as to tare me down by the ends word of mouth. Why would I stop living when there’s others doing more than giving. My rotting isn’t yet upon the horizon and I’d hope I’m not next. As everyday hits the spot that I’m too busy creating than to miss. Dot dot dot. I’m unbothered by old luv’rs that no longer share covers. I got to keep on moving in motion bcuz it’s me whose vibe has pulsated without corrosion. As free as a drop of me can be. And I didn’t need to crop out my past to live the dream. I’m on top everyday for I can’t correct my face. Dot dot dot. Happily ever after will forever enjoy my presence if the fact is the matter. Poppin out of myself for shits and giggles bcuz I don’t pist. But it’s hot sometimes and I need a cooling a lil more soothing. It’s a lot to wand be near while I am if one can. More than not I’m a solo artist who may seem to be but I’m never heartless.

just leave....

if you'd just step the fuck back and let me be, me! you'd see the depths of a man come from a place that you'd never comprehend. i don't mind sidestepping you if you can't relate. i say this as a friend. to me. to you. to us. living loose. luv isn't for everyone just bcuz. not many know how to respond to the depths exposed as truths cannot hide sacred sighs. oh, if you could just ease up on the demands that i do not submit to. i believe you're the epitome of selfish intent that feeds the hype. truth, it has found the tip of the tongue. bitten to a hush. looking for the subtle words that never come, so it vents. help me for once. there's a confusion that's taken me from this thing we do. i'm off in the distance, clinging to me. oooh wee. i'm over thee. disrespecting the man i have retracted from your dreams. you don't deserve this. i can't be the version of shut the fuck up and act accordingly. you got me fucked up. fuck you for cursing at me. in time you'll realize your camouflage doesn't want me that badly. i'm just a composure you believe will feed your psychotic grip. mmm, the feel of honesty eludes the decline of your own self unfolding. nonetheless, you won't be missed. unfortunately, you're a blessing in disguise. time will free my ears of your consistent decline. was i not what you expected outta the gates in which you conceded to? that's the only question asked thus far as to as i cannot lie. bring forth the usefulness you expect so i can leave willingly. don't impose on my generosity any more than you intend to bring me down to your level. dig deep. it's just one heap over the shoulder...

When the heart comes home to the mind wondering where it’s been, with a friend…

I’m outside. Come let me in. It doesn’t matter how I found you. I’m ready to live. Can you feel me. Do I feel familiar. I’ve come home after so long. It’s not so peculiar. I’m here. Unlock the door. Open up. I belong in your core. Yes, I’ve learned much as I was away. I didn’t mean to leave you like that. There was only so much I could take. But that’s the past. Reconnect me to your use. I wanna beat from your chest. Pulsate the way I once have. I apologize for the way I left. Forgive me for I’m a fool. But it hurt so bad. I know how you feel bcuz u feel you. Don’t turn away so fast. I am you and you need me. I can’t go in without you. It’s been too long since I’ve felt normalcy. I tell you this as the truth. I found someone you can actually trust. I finally had to rely on your train of thought. One I got lost in for years. Please, just pause. Hear me out. I know I don’t deserve another chance. I was alone too. But I come to you more enhanced. Healed by time. Saved by patience. Freed by dreams. I understand tour hesitance. But I didn’t hurt you. I might have drive you crazy but it’s ok. I burned you’ve found the balance for us both. I know my place. (Knock knock knock) Answer. We can have another go with someone new. Or did you see a few faces that you turned upside down after you were emotionally abused? Did you find yourself without my while I was gone? Is there no need for me anymore? Yes I went mia but tell me what it is. It want me that chose out fate as my texture was torn. Maybe, I did fall a lil too hard. But that’s what you wanted. I went with it and couldn’t help myself. I didn’t start it. I just got scared disappeared. You demanded control when I couldn’t let go. Damn near deranged we can’t coexist. Although we’ve given ourselves together and we’re no longer a mess though. Step outside and see who I brought home. I’m ok with us going inside to talk. To see if a slower motion lasts this one time. Just to mingle and take notice to our corrected flaws. No one’s perfect. But at least we can try if the situation is right. Do us both a favor if you will. Imagine not having a friend for the rest of your life. Do I need to yell it out at the top of my voice? Scream it to a world that doesn’t give a fuck? It’s s been long enough don’t you think? Lead us to luv…

do you...

Am I better than you or is it I laced up no matter what time of day night it took to get away from the same ol bs I was born into? Are you really mad that I didn’t remain in a mindset that kept me from living my best life? There’s different levels to this shit and I wanna see what the world has to offer. Am I faulted for exploring my options to enjoy all that I can before none of us are left to speak on, or create these times in which we mingle? Is it my perception or yours that leads the charge or follows the heard that suppresses the individual within. Or is it the lack there of to evolve bcuz you’re comfortable with change? There’s no wrong way to be. But depending on how people choose to live will decipher what type of friends we all have. We’re all the same in flesh and bone but that’s it. I can only hold a conversation with you that you can relate to how you think. Due to you refused to grow and chase a fulfillment that you couldn’t resist. And that in itself is perfectly fine. I chose an opposing path. For myself I knew I was outta place. So, why is it your words insist on tarring me down? When I’ve already overcome the battle to do me instead of being one of the sheep. Scripting a lesser version on who I truly am. Your thoughts of me isn’t my reality. Are you just caught up in going with the flow so you fit in to someone else’s perspective of you so you don't step outta line. Bcuz I don’t care what anyone thinks or believes of me. As I would live to see everyone live the life they’ve worked hard to obtain. From the mountains to the oceans to the valleys and the cities, deserts and flat planes, you feel I look down on you. Or is it your self conscience breaking down behind your eyes. Morals and values are what separates us all. Wicked tongues are a poison to the way we communicate. And from what I’ve gathered, I’m the issue you point at. Maybe to take the spot light off of your stagnant bs for once. So no one compares us to one another other than me crossing over to the other side. But I’m not the one who’s trapped in a cycle ever seeking self as self is to cheat self outta the beauty this world is willing to share. Yeah, I’m not the same. I’ve learned a few things. I’ve come to be more humble than I ever was. But I’m still me. I decide what I allow. And if cutting you off is something you force me to do, so be it. At least I know where we stand if it isn’t a mutual respect bcuz I’m not gonna wait until you turn around and whisper bs in other's ears. Birds chirp and the wind blows strange sounds that sound foreign to me. Those drifts aren’t necessary other than for the upkeep of the ego. Own yours and be aware of the situation you pretend to avoid. It’s not me that is to be held to the negativity that I must put on the table. Hate is as real as your miscalculated judgement of me due to how you see fit for everyone else to cater to the low life guidlines that hold you back. I'm not your puppet and that's the issue you have with me. Just know I'm cool. Do you..

The battle of me…

I’ve seen my thoughts, hmm. I had to turn away. Eyes rolled into a different daydream but I couldn’t escape. Locked in the mental distortion my mind seemed so raw. Damn, how’d I wind I in my head being challenged by every fuckin flaw? The unreal reality I faced in the darkness shed light on my own personal defects. I was a delusion that was choked up by illusions. Visions touched on me from outta the shadows. It seemed every crease of the brain was a trench still at war with the hallow. I was forced to stare down myself when I couldn’t even see me. Whispers like echoes rumbled like sheet metal on a roof. As I played in the dry storm I witnessed the lightning like current in my dome send memories into the open to call a truce. But I didn’t recognize them so I looked away. In a moment of awareness the creatures I hid felt the need to drive me insane. Simultaneously popping out of the crevasses they were tucked in for safe keeping. And yet, they got loose to vent with the voices that awakened from dreaming. The arsenal of dysfunction took over my cranium and exposed what was enclosed beneath each layer of tissue. Peeling me from myself they went deeper than I had hoped. No longer was I alone. For the fiasco within my skull was relentless. I felt me coming undone, ripped into fragments of myself as I was helpless. But I stood my grounds. Listening to every peep of unfamiliar sound. Simple feeling the torment flow through me freely with no mercy to give. Thinking, if I ever make it outta me, I knew I had to live. There was nowhere to go. Thumbs cocked hammers as breaths slowed. Sights looked down barrels as scopes zoomed in for the kill. But I remained loose and still. Waiting for it to be over soon. To rid myself of their forthcoming so I could move. I heard hands squeeze grips as fingers caressed triggers waiting to end it all. And then the pause. Everything went silent. At warp speed all of it was distant. I crouched in the madness in my dark side. Turning from the haunted and hunted into the predator catching whiffs of pheromones in the smokey devine. But it was their game I didn’t expect nonetheless. As the thumping got louder and louder coming from my chest. That’s how they knew where I was. Creeping in on my whereabouts induced the adrenaline rush. Chuckles were all around. Riding sound waves until I was found. I was losing the battle of me. My imagination ceased to quit without pity. Reluctant to accept another version that would come from this atrocity. I felt their claws open my flesh to release the anxiety. As I poured from within I gripped my fists. I was drained of everything I’d never miss. The pain ate me alive. The aches was removed from my bones to create a monster that couldn’t hide. Tortured, I was stripped of a pride that belittle my essence. As I was left naked to the touch of my own presence. Freed from an unstable mentality that plagued everything I’ve come to know. I had to withstand it all as the weight fell behind me in a violent show…

the pleasure of us...

It's the way the liquor affects us. With my hand around your throat we get closer to breaking trust. Sitting on the outskirts of our luv we push limits to become the dirtiest version of lusts. But what a rush. Your skin quenching to my thirst. Tongue sliding up and down your curves. Yes, It's gonna hurt. But it's the best case scenario of accessing worth. As you sigh as gasp as I enter you. I just need to feel how you move. Working you every which way too loose. It's the booze that cling me to fuckin you the way I do. But that's the thrill of being put to use. For the whore in you breaks free every time. Coming out to play with me in real life. Tipsy just to ease into submission you beg for what's on my mind. But you already know, It's you and I. Doing what needs to be done before the sun comes back around. As I dig with precession claiming your world as my girl with the way you sound. Speaking filth in the air with every stroke buried as deep as ouches from your mouth. Oh, wow. Pouring a shot on your tits so I can lick it off. There's nowhere I wouldn't go to fulfill your thoughts of me so I never get lost. Nasty as fuck, I'm into your sexual preferences as I tamper with raw. Hips gripped in my palms. Felt for the pleasure of knowing we coexist. With a sucking kiss raped from your lips. The heat of your breath excites my dick. I luv when the bottle is turned upside down and drained to be absorbed into the way you accept how I do what I do to your clit. As I pull out to go down to enjoy the flavor of you dripping onto the bed. Grabbing my head. Twitching at the hips as you gush me a squirt upon my face smiling as I give you my best. Making me cum in the motion of pleasure all over your chest...

Bcuz you’re short and sweet…

Sneaking into your dreams, to be seen, to be a fantasy, to feel the way tot breathe. To plant the seed of need, to complete it memories, to never leave. I’m lurking as you sleep. Trying to find my way in to paradise feeling me. Creeping as smooth as an ease. Bringing many ways to please. So much more than just being on h knees. I’m sliding in to experience us as a we. To help your thoughts consider going deeper than fifty shades feed.  I’m coming in to detour you from empty flings. To whisper my name to your mind as I live in your imaginative desires creating scenes. To flow with the motion of your heart that deep. To be felt before awakening to the wonder that lingers beyond daydreams.