No, to an us…

To give to you means I’d havta give up  my way of life. Altering what I do when I choose to have the time. To consider you would be the consideration of my irritation of answering to someone else. Idk if I’d do well with an inpatient ownership trying to control the way my heart refuses to be felt. I may be the chill in the cold that freezes your intent if you try to get close enough to settle in. Emptied, I enjoy being alone to freestyle a grin. As being good enough isn’t a thought that plagues my thought process awaiting approval of luv. To cater to your wants and needs isn’t a necessity as I have to maintain my own lusts. I’d havta cut communications with folks I know to settle your insecurities. What the dream to be captured by a friendly foe looking after self’s ever flowing breeze. I haven’t the desire to create happiness in your heart. It’s not a task I’m entitled to so don’t ask if I care to get caught up in an emotional war. The battle you seek doesn’t exist within me. I’m at peace and honestly I’d rather you leave. One night is good for the feel of physicality as anatomy plays its part. And if you don’t wanna come back around, that would be smart. Bcuz telling you yes to feed your ego is to belittle myself as my true best friend. I can’t entertain you for I’ll eventually find your ends. Who am I to lie when “no” is the simplest form of individuality I could ever speak? I’m not someone who clings to others to reincarnate who isn’t lost, as in me. To live by your standards doesn’t make sense when I have my own free will. So sitting around or pacing back and forth to do something isn’t much of a thrill. Just having someone around so self isn’t lonely isn’t enough to submit to relations living in a mature mind. Let’s keep the interaction respectful and spontaneous without all the hype. We don’t havta remember every lil detail of selfish expectations that aren’t met. I can never let you down if you never insist on gaining access to the contents of my chest. You’ll only live there until you gone and that’ll depend on how you decide to be if we were to share more than a convo to get through this diddle spoken into the wind. Again. Giving in into your way doesn’t matter to me. It’ll only suppress me as your relentless attack attempts to mold me into a version of me that pleases your daydreams. Let’s not fall to fall through the transparency yet to be forthcoming to a reality of we’re forever no more. We need not walk simultaneously through a place pretending to be home’s door. Although I’ll open one for you if we’re can agree we’re just wanting to get away from the norm. To open them is to remind you that if you chase your feelings it’ll close behind you once you see me in true form. As you’re able to gather these words so they are believed by the time you get beyond the threshold of the good as it turns sour quick. I can’t be who you demand I’m to become before you bcuz you won’t be missed. I’m just in motion for as long as I can move. Just reread this and you’ll have your proof. I’m distant, I’m of no use, I’m not for you. For my only crave is to not to havta escape the abuse. I need not ask another to remain in their place. Just to havta watch the rearrangement on facial expressions shape shifting the tension in their face. Relate or don’t I don’t give two fucks either way. It may sound hard but who am I to me if I allow childish behaviors to rule the way I have but one chance to avoid hate? I’m not afraid and I’m not fate. I just don’t wanna die before I live. What in that scenario will I have to give? What could you possibly expect my reaction to be? Just breathe. I’d rather be liked than luv’d. Never to be pushed in heated confrontations that tend to do more than shove. Fuck around and find out, it is what it is, and the deception of lies to be the truth until the fading of trust isn’t worth the fuck all that bs expressed. Why defend self from a stranger that can’t seem to get to know the hidden restraints of one’s best? It’s too far from my grasps to be held any further than a naughty encounter to settle the nerve. There’s no comfort on the other side of interests that need to be claimed by the hurt. Pain should be pleasure’s way of releasing pheromones. So toe the line if you must stand in the wide open alone. I don’t play with depths being tampered with. There’s nothing I can do to keep the fire from burning lips into a singed distasteful kiss. Protect yourself for I’m not what you believe you can force me to adapt to. No, I don’t wanna drift in a silhouette put to use. I’ll never be enough to move with your shadow there disappears every night. That type of memory is as irrelevant as yesterday being redefined…