One outta four...

Two ways to know what will come of the four possibilities. To decide to live beyond the meeting of another in true form. With having a lifelong partner of another face placed in the memories. Without is to determine the mistake of the release or the sigh of relief to calm the norm. To choose is to chance who will accompany thy side. Having a divinities impact of free will to live n let live. As the mind rummages through thoughts of what to do with the find. Weighing the keep of a person or to allow the hand to so easy let loose of the grip never to be missed. In a moments notice to add them as a sigh or bypass the hype. It could hurt either way. Or the gamble will give more than the smile can hold. Pondering with the teeter as the head tilts with fate. Maybe they'll jus be a vague shadow barely remembered without a vote. Possibly another lesson learned that needs more be. One outta four hasta take place. Making up the mind is being awakened to the situation that's vital to living free. all in the act of determining who it'll be to taste the daily feel of thy name...

Waking up...

Mentally blinded by the heart. Losing to gain everything is a focus so chard. Overlooking the good along the way. Eyes close to imagine a better life in which to escape. Shedding the pain n replaced with a greater need. Forgetting what it takes to simply breathe. As further the distance is a necessity from the fall. Looking up for so long keeps sight from witnessing the now waiting to be paused. Driven into a sacrifice that heals the break. Time spent is a blink until a redefining day. To stand in place missing out on the feeling of being alive. Caught up in the come up as living is put aside. Realizing how good self truly has it just by doing outside the box. To enjoy the contents within somehow unlock. Creating a clarity of yrs gone that were never cherished by playing it safe. As the mirror stares back with a more recognizable expression upon the face. Comprehending what was lost in depths. Wanting the excitement of what is to come next. With a sense of happiness that's finally found the chuckle again. Thinking of how they toes really like the warmth of sand...

Intensifying the meaning to live...

The screen savor type. As eyes looking at a phone get stuck in the middle of life. Staring at a face that creates the difference. Knowing why it never was anyone else bcuz of the precise deliverance. Being the definitive reason why the heart is willing. More than a face ever so thrilling. With one button the beauty appears. From a selected picture on display as sighs cheer. As lovely as the inner makings can be wittiness upon the flesh. Thumps come to life from deep within the center of the chest. Amazed with a sight that pulls self into the feel. What's seen is the depths of what is real. Caught in an expression made for the stars above. There's a unique gesture of acceptance in a smile that speaks with luv. N the attraction itself is a crave in its own. Wondering throughout the day of is the thought mutually imagining moans. Only if the touch could caress the skin. The soothe in it could give more to life n intensify the meaning to live. Oh the rush of such an attachment that satisfies the need. Thinking to self that it would be nice to watch the image breathe. To notice it move in its must natural ways. It's crazy how a photo temps the tongue to want a taste...

Oohs n ahhs...

One, two, three, I got outta five stars on my cock. All due to the lack of emotion but fuck it, I don't mind busting in a sock. I'm lying bcuz I've never had a complaint. I'm just running from the feel of emotions always dripping on everyone they meet. Fuck it. From the taint I ain't no saint. I'm just a fuck with the thrill attached with cling to a truce. A feel of oohs n ahhs getting what hormones seek. One, two, three strokes in n everything changes. I become the missing link known as the dream. Without arrogance stepping to the plate. What I do is different than the typical touch. Fuck feelings when the heat of passion rips loose. There's no talk of luv. One, two three nights straight n imma do whatever creativity can become. Having a 9 outta 10 most of my life. But I'm no one to be telling a tale of lustful thoughts. There's just things weighing on my mind. Being a sexual thing pussy wants to slide down. The family curse blinds eyes to who I am. Damn the story that isn't seen. There's just judgements of conceited beliefs of such a simply man. Hung a lil lower than the average male. Thicker than some wrists twisting me off. N the wonder of some can't understand where I go mentally. Truth being, I'm emotionally lost. Never knowing a true friend. Watching eyes open to the sight of the monster growing to bust a nut. But that's the angle they take to get ever so close. Bypassing like n even luv going straight to the satisfaction of lusts. But I don't mind much bcuz it's just the way it is. I'm dominate n crave submissives from time to time. As I'm unable to believe intent for the way they go about reaching for me. I just wait for the moment they're left in a past time...

Priceless...

The wonder of how many others live in a different world. Tucked behind their eyes were they come to life. As thoughts take then away from the confusion here. Knowing they ain't live the masses n hide from the hype. If they exist, where oh where are they now? Going unseen for they don't care to interact. Damn I bet it but the loneliness is a bit much to counteract. Having to deal with the same ol shit if self wants to come out n mingle with others. Finding nothing more than useless intensifies in the changing of luv'rs. As the curiosity creates a question of, do they think of someone like me? Knowing we could have some fun being who we are just living the dream. With weird friends that have a normalcy that comforts the laugh. The mind drifts of the whereabouts as photos are never being captured....

I want worth...

I'm in need of a double shot of something I ain't never had. But it ain't no drink so you do the math. Taking in consideration that I wanna taste something real. A smooth comfort of a deeper type of feel. I'm craving a temptation that drips from the eyes. A pure sense of security curled up to life. With no end to how touch is more than a fingers stroke. I believe there's no place like home. N to go there is like a dream that drifts in thoughts. Allowing me to briefly ease into a pause. I could use a friend who related to who I am. Someone who doesn't look at me like I'm anything less of damn. Without the tap that leaks with a heartache awaiting my return. I want worth. Having more meaning in eyes that never lost sight. I can't find it in the bottom of a bottle deep into a hollow night. N a bar ain't the calling I seek. There's more to the heart that clings to sharing what's free.

Live with me...

Let's go see some shit. Plan a get away n live like we're kids. Somewhere no one knows where we are. Not that they matter but I'm just saying, bring you heart. Wet can find places that will remember for all time. Escaping into the wold world of the unknowns hype. Creating a friendship that lingers off to here n there. Living loose n enjoying a lil of life as smiles we ware. Tell me yes n show what you got. I'm not scared to live as I won't stop. It'll be us coming undone so fuckin free. N when we get there, dreams will become reality. Pieced together one at a time. On the outside of everyday life. There's a calling I wanna share with only you. The freedom of the thought would be so nice to see us put to use. Far from the pulse of the typical thump. Run with me n rest only when we fall to the rush. As nights have no reason to hold back. Just for mornings to rise after a well deserved nap. There's mountains awaiting. Oceans ever so breathtaking. We have a chance to witness it personally. Trust me when I say my intent is reaching for you harmlessly. Our journey ain't gonna wait for the memory to capture who we are. Come along n take part. There's many things to do as the universe strings what we become. Maybe even find somewhere else to reside as laughter speaks of trusts. It could be a spot in a city we've never been. Or a small town taking pics of what it has to give. It doesn't matter what we do. From the sky to beneath the waters edge we can move. Getting to know the highways that take us on an escapade. All I wish is to hear your say my name. As simply as the thought that comes up with new ideas lead the way. Take a chance n believe in what's being the gates...

I see you...

Stilettos n a pair of ripped jeans with a cute lil shirt. Yeah that shits hot but have you ever just slipped into a tee n some jogging pants n laid back in a set of arms to find some worth? Even your favorite dress looks good on you when you feel the need. But I'd havta agree with myself when I say, "you'd look so much better in a sundress n a pair of flip flops on your pretty feet. N then booty shorts you water when your home alone I bet would bea sight to see for sure. But you being naked on me would be something dreams could touch on a caress wanting so much more. I can only imagine how you feel when you get your hair done. But that point tail has me drifting in thoughts of the girl next door in you n I'm damn near wanting to temp you to luv. I simply like your presence as you can pull off any outfit you want if you choose But it's not the clothes that's captured my curiosity staring at something deeper as you move. As from over there my eyes just cannot get enough. But if you bare feet were on my lap if give you something to trust...

Change changing changes...

Am I not worth the stay? Without the pity to do so, am I enough? I listen to the way you've been saying my name. It's changed as I can hear your thoughts falling from luv. I've noticed since time ago but wanted to see if you'd come back. Nights Steve the same with space driving a wedge. N I wonder what I did to change your mind before I become a part of your past. Having you around is a pleasure but lately I'm not sure if we're sitting on the edge. I see the way your body language is not reaching for me the way you used to. Am I to just go with it or let you go. My heart's already invested n pulling away ain't gonna a delight to cut you loose. I want you in my life but not if I havta feel alone. Where'd you go in the mental storage in between your ears? N how long have you been drifting into another world? If I ain't it it's ok to relieve you fear. I'd rather you do you than keep goin on with wasted time pretending to be my girl. Everything changes n we could only hope at first that is for a lifetime of fun. As it's rare anymore for two people to remain in the same page. This is your out so there's no hard feelings from words losing trust. Just put the friendship on the line either way you decide your path  We're grown n I'm capable of a lil pain if you wanna do your own thing. We've always said we'd need upfront n honest. I have a crave to be with coming to live off dreams. N I'm not just being modest. Treat as you'd expect another to do. With a lil respect to redirect your intent. Just tell it as if your mind eases so you can find home. Am I not your go to?

The cross over...

It's the fact that, once you gain the peace within your own freedoms. Gaining access to a drama free life. The ability to see emotion becomes a thought process bcuz the feel in its own is toxic. It's difficult to set self aside for a potential friend on another level bcuz of the possibility of trading the silence for the chaos all over again. Once you've truly found yourself as needs n wants separate. Real maturity leads the way so that self is what's seen as a whole before ever considering relations with anyone. Sometimes beyond alone is one of the most beautiful things to take place in your life. There's no doing what you don't wanna do. You can take to whoever you want without someone's jealous azz comments spitting venom. The sense of living is just different when it's just self that will never turn on you. It gets to the point of being called names, as broken n monster a are couple when others cannot get what they want.  N it's not selfish. Nor wrong to hold out n feel people out of you're to allow someone into your life. Not everyone has crossed over to live in reason. Outta harms way where that sigh is wish the mind clear understanding of what it takes to be as is. Being just one person trying to hide from the circus of repetitive malarkey. Once you've fallen in luv with the calm, you witness self in a new way that your actually like you. Unfazed by others there's a lack of give a fuck blanketed by humor. Hiding a deeper protrude that not just anyone is gonna get to play with. N even though the solo act craves a Lil something extra, the mindset knows that comes with attachments. Making it easier to simply stay to self...

Thinking again...

Emotionally disabled. There's a wonder of if self is able. So far behind the lines of opening up. There's a chance that the odds have turned on luv. In a disbelief state of clarity. Being more attracted with a mental stability. Knowing feelings are triggers of thought. Yet rare is a individual who isn't Codependent of the heart so raw. Protected is a concept only few free themselves from restraints. Others chase the feel good until the expressions change upon the face. Looking for a friend through a different angle. In the repetition of depths always getting mangled. As ours always back to the basics of one's own truth. Thinking again of all the bs n abuse. Myself ponders of the intellect of those that never learn. Curious to know if the even have self worth. It seems the thrill of racing heartbeats is more intriguing than a piece of mind. As we all live our own type of life...

Yet to find herself...

She falls deep for the bs. It's in who she is. Always seeking the thrill of attractions. Losing self in time due to the distractions. She judges fellas bcuz her choices are shit. N yet, her type isn't what she needs to truly live. It's all a hype in the mind. A fulfillment of cheep interactions that's hard to find. Wanting luv from the a made up version of hope. She just didn't know she's never gonna find the comfort of home. Chasing thoughts through memories that shadow silhouettes incapable of what she craves the most. Damn the heart that cannot understand the opposites that mingle in the mix of what it takes to be alone. In a mental state as she sits in disbelief. Labeling all men in the same sense more useless than a fling. Only if she could possibly correct her mindset. Back to an open process of what's good to the moment to invest. Yet, she's caught up in the visual appearance in a hypocritical phase. All bcuz who she chose isn't who she was able to transform into changing last names. She leaps into arms of profiles that act as the same ol same of never after. As bitter she drifts into a world of separations where it's just her. Caught up by her own desires wanting more than a lame to lay her the fuck down. Oh the passion of the act that provokes true intent. Connecting on another level of freeing self so depths can vent. It's a sexual intimacy that triggers the vibe. As down goes another heartache that's written as cry. She's a pawn of her own kink that drives hormones into the night. Past the limit of luv'rs that consistently fade by days light. N she cannot figure out the reason of why she falls so hard. As it's in the way characters play the part...

Nothing was ever meant to last...

Remembering how to let self adapt n live free. Being alone in ones head will make reality feel like a dream. With everything on the outside of us we're all alone. N yet, there's a choice of what to entertain as the heart roams. As the trick is being able to identify phases others are going through. To knowing when to grab some of an opportunity when it comes along to improve. Inside our minds a game of worth is played. As the universe just wants to interact with how we are all the same. Either we carry the baggage of past relations or say fuck the dumb. One hasta be in tune with the inner makings that define self luv. The ability to believe it's not over until the dirt covers what remains. N with the connection of life pulsating within the veins. Time itself will be challenged as the one who awakens mentally will be at peace. Living day in n day out with nights filled with their own little squeeze. With the comprehension that nothing was ever meant to last. So making the best of things hasta happen or it'll pass us up way to giving fast. Doing more than recollecting memories not yet ready to be repaired. For old age will come to the crossroads of a lifetime dared. Whether it be on the edge or in the safety of one's very own home. We get to decide what's what to us that makes the difference in true form being shown. Here we are to share everything that cannot physically get into our depths. But we feel it enticing us wanting our best...

Empty...

Reaching for the top from the bottoms up position. Selling time to the highest bidder n passing on life's intermissions. Same ol result of being broke is just never enough. Only thing to be shown for the loss of self is materials feeding the rush. Shallow in the makings of a better life friend out the experience to live. Having only periodical moments to be remembered as thought upon the lips. Dying while alive with nothing to look back on but work. For a chance at the end of it to ease back without the guarantee to enjoy the worth. To gain what is the purpose of happiness comes with a price. Sacrificing pieces of the now that go without a comfort other money's find. Caught up in a lifestyle of slavery rest becomes the downtime stealing even more. As breaths can only be heard in a sigh wondering why in the fuck it's all a bore. Empty days are a thrill of numbers on the rise. To spend after exchanging what cannot be relived for some sorta claim to be defined.

The untold finding a voice...

You speak of luv but yet fail to comprehend what it takes to be a friend. There's shit that's never been said as the release is to free weeks from the never coming off the end. Being the biggest person set on repeat as your tongue find it's way around my reputation. As it took hit after hit of all the things I've heard through the years knowing the real situation. N yet, my lips were sealed other than spicing up the stories about me bcuz idgaf what others think. As your name to me was sacred in a sense of why I'm the fuck couldn't I let go of nothing more than a dream. So to hear how you feel of me find me in other's words really sets the mood. Changing I did from a protractor to a man living loose. But it took some time to shake of the one thing I wanted the most. Someone I had no business giving my luv just to feel alone. It seems the chuckle you find in presence was enough to entertain the crowds you've come to know since. Although I don't mind for you're a fucked up individual in every letter it takes to pronounce skittish. Only if your lil fan base that feeds your narcissistic way's knew the truth. Of hope behind the scenes it's much different than what's on display for all to believe you're the one abused. Only thing you've ever known was an addictive life. Had I known myself prior to entangling my feelings with yours I would've cut ties. Let's tell them how you chose a lifestyle over everyone you've claimed to luv. N how I was the one standing still trying to hold it together as someone to trust. Or shall we not go back to the days where I was the one to blame? You were the one that caved. Weak for a reason to dip out on reality you refused to face. As it was I who allowed you to play so many unnecessary games. Secret be told I enjoyed watching you dig you grave. As you played in my chest n I covered you up for my own escape. Or was a beautiful time of getting to know me again. As you still linger at the bottom looking for a sucker to be your next biggest fan. Looks mother like daughter n I know that eats you up inside. But hey, I cannot lie when I say, "your a self inflicted disturbance beneath you own skin as you hide. So point your finger n have everyone stare. Bcuz the life I live simply doesn't fuckin care.. 

Getting it in...

Getting it in...

Not to brag but I've always been the better half. N that's why I do so much better on my own. It's a raw reality that creates a loner within. Trusting no one that is into the claims of thrones. As it's seen as an immaturity with a follow the lingo to fit in mindset. N that's when the disbelief of realism kicks in. For knowing ones place aside from the pretending to be more than a figurative thought. Knowing by myself I'd rather live. Not too brag but I've always been in my right state of mind. Having a drive that's gone unmatched by another faking their way. Even after losing so much there's just no stopping me. As my smile continues to stretch across my face. It seems that "fit" just isn't what it's said to be. With others falling victim to their own untold truths. Time has spoken over n again of how the level of use has me single ASF. N I'm not even out here in the middle of life running loose. Not too brag but I'm rare in many ways. Humbled by choices of a past that's grounded my heart. Being just one individual in a world of wtf's. No one within relations has ever stood on their word like it was so fuckin hard. Somehow to do good in life I've had to stick to myself. But I can't categorize everyone else for it's my own attractions that's failed to deliver. I like what I like so that's just the way it must be. I'm just a giver that would rather see the sliver of fake fucks floating facedown downriver. Not too brag n all but I'm more than what I'm willing to admit. But I'm just being me the only way I know how. In a solitude lifestyle that has a way to thrive. Without a leech sucking on sex as if I'm the same typical azz dude in the now. As there's pieces of me hidden behind the stare in my eyes. Well protected by the eagerness of freedom wanting to live. As the thought of what I must do compared to how I'd luv to give into depths that justifies the never ending hype. N it takes the vibe from the chuckles torn completely away from my ribs. Not to brag but I've got me the ways I cannot trust another to have. It's a solo act to step into each n every day. Trying to shake off the disbelief in people I simply cannot do. But hey, I tell myself "life is great". As I awaken to a financial world in which I must do more than consider. I havta survive without a friend by my side. With every night there's a peace that settles the nerve. It's the way it is n I don't know why. Not too brag but I've grown accustomed to dying as I live. I'm unable to miss what everyone else takes for granted when chasing relations. Recognizable facts make up intent in need to find comfort. N I've found it in me without the constant let down of distasteful imitations. Somehow I've simplified my situation by counting on me. Most say I'm broken but they don't understand the break corrected who I am. Now I'm here on the other side avoiding the same ol shit others are into. Distant yet intact bcuz I can enjoy being unaccompanied by tender hands...

Empty fulfillment...

Lost on social media. Waiting on for the right one to speak up. Time gets trapped in the doings. Night after night listening to everyone's conditionings of luv. Bored n willing to partake. Feeling somewhere foreign in life. Always watching for a hint of interest in words. Damn near validated within the mind. Feeling a sense of comfort but it's a lie. The singlish vortex sounds about. Defying relations  defining reason of why not to mingle. Fitting in with the broken ones so humor can be spout. The irony is unreal. The front is not to be mistaken. There's lil hope in dry into anyone true purpose. As emotions are complicated being forsaken. It's all set on a repeated timeline that never ends. A cycle of wirelessness that becomes a norm. Losing sight of a reality that once was. Sights locked into a screen is the individual reborn. Enslaved to a different type of living. Thinking a friends list some sorta fame. Having access to whomever at the touch of a thumb. Knowing self just wants some other form of escape. It's a false presence of people being whoever they wish to be. Able to block out the drifters n unwanted conflictions. As confidence is a post settling the nerve as if it's real adulting. It's a resurrection of worth like someone actually gives a fuck under the conditions. Everyone resembles one another even though they think they're unique. Without it there's an emptiness that lingers on. The attention once can get is a hype that lasts for a few moments of each day. N then it's on to the next meme waiting without vocal chords. Creating a purpose to cover up what no one wants some other to know. That deep down weed give it up for that one person to say our name. But the honesty in that is far n in between. So why not keep goin along with the emptiness of the game?

Please understand...

Please understand the emotion in me is in no rush. N thy mind didn't relate to faking straight into luv. Please understand I've evolved n would rather have a friend. Honestly, believe it or not, it would be more painful in the end. Place understanding in not fighting you feelings that tech for a use. I'm just different n realize what it'll take for my inner self to move. Please understand it's you n not me. I'm just living n attempting to let things progress naturally so I can breathe. Please understand tongues flip on the turn of tides in between moods. N I'm worth more than the discomfort of fowl play spat on the loose. Please understand I'm waiting on time to tell me a real connection had come through to be seen. As it's gotten in to my boundaries where I twiddle I'm my dreams. Please understand I comprehend the situation that remains as the facts. I get bored with everyone edit I know isn't the one standing intact. Please understand I'm not an easy safe to crack. Just so you know I'm not a challenge but a depth that doesn't like the thought of I'm a deletion left in a past. Please understand just bcuz two people get along means they're bound by the heart. Don't be blind to the individual I am shaking off hugs from wrapping arms. Please understand I'm not that complex to think there's no one for me. One just come to be me in a world that live by the same ol mindset of chasing needs. Please understand I enjoy the single life bcuz I'm as free as I choose. I'm just not so sure the one is gonna like who I am so I've called a truce. Please understand I truly don't give a fuck to fit into silhouettes.l that are never heard. I don't belong to a shadow of another when my own follows me for better or worse. Please understand this is what you'll havta deal with trying to get close to the person your sights have found. At I'll adjust accordingly to whom it is you've become in the now...