A loon on the loose...

Disguised by the single life n making it look good. Yet behind the eyes wonders a peek a boo in secret looks. Think I'm the one outta billions roaming around is more than a chuckle waiting up n under the breath. Tell the truth, I'd be exposed to what comes next. So in a moment a choice to hi Dr e hasta be made. If not there's a chance I'd be seen coming to surfaced upon my face. Oh help me if it comes to be. I'm not ready for the birth of daydreams. Why change the way I think? I like my freedom so I don't mind if they leave. But then I sit n think of when will I ever give in to a friend. As blank thoughts comes to mind as I wait for the end. Caught up in the middle of life doing me the only way I know how. N to hear others tell it, I'm fowl. A loon on the loose bcuz I don't fall into the the role playing nonsense. But damn if it wouldn't be nice ASF to sit n ease back n lower the defenses. Shh, don't ask n I won't havta tell no lie. N we can all go on about our own lil lives. An undercover luv'r at best going to waste. Avoiding the conflictions of the heart that always turns to pain. Sorry I am not nor will I admit I have depth. Someone might want in beneath the humor that disturbs the groove. As I ask, why in the fuck should I play the fool. Knowing it's an excuse to keep it as safe as doing me. Simply trying to make it as long as I can before someone transforms from a want to a need. Yeah, the thought creates tension within but who in the fuck will ever fill the void. Just take words for what they are, noise. But don't listen or read along to what's out for the first time in idk in how fuckin long. Rambling is just a convo with self that finds a rare to tap into before the night goes wrong. Missing the feel of a woman as a man through the silence of having no one at all around. N yet the unrecognizable human within is misunderstood due to the means of surviving alone. Shoving under the tongue of just craving to go home. Concealed is the individual rounding out for a better cause. Lost but not really n in the same breath self just wants to take some time to pause. To gather what matters until the dig buries the reason to say fuck relation. Revealing worth hidden in the texture of what could never be considered an invasion. One good one would be a dream come true. As lips will babble of fuck it, there's no use. To scare off the weak n desperate needing to be luv'd in the now of gimme gimme or else. I'm not one so easily to be felt. I could go either way as it's in my best interest of what's best for me. N as of yet I haven't been a believer in luv without a like that enjoy the way I breathe...